Somewhere I Belong
by angel74
Summary: HPDM, After an eventful year, Harry and Draco are adapting to their new summer arrangements. How will things change when Sirius comes home from St. Mungo's and Draco encounters a missing relative? Sirius has been brought back from beyond the Veil!
1. Watching Over You

**Somewhere I Belong **

**By:** angel74

**Summary:** AU This story takes place during the summer after Harry's sixth year. Sirius has returned from beyond the Veil and is currently in the mental ward at St. Mungo's hospital. Confused yet? If so, then you should know that this is the third story in the_ "Soul Mate Series,"_ and a lot of this won't make sense until you read the first two stories _Bring Me to Life _and _Echoes of the Mind_. Both stories deal with Harry overcoming an abusive past and are also a love story between Harry and Draco. EOTM also analyzes what lies beyond the Veil at the Department of Mysteries.

If you do understand everything that is going on then you know Harry is staying with Remus at Villa de Luna this summer. Harry desperately longs for a "normal" life and is apprehensive about telling Sirius, who will be coming to live them, about everything that has happened to him in the last year. How will the three men adjust to living with one another when there are so many things left unsaid? What will happen when Sirius discovers Harry's many secrets? And how will Harry's renewed connection to Voldemort affect the situation?

Draco has been asked by the Weasleys to stay with them at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Draco is relieved to stay at the Order's headquarters because he will still be able to see his godfather, Severus, occasionally. With the help of Harry, Jinx, and the Weasleys, Draco strives to be a better person and put his past behind him. Will all his hard work be jeopardized when a mysterious family member arrives at their front door and questions the choices he has made?

**Disclaimer: **_I have decided to say this once, and only once instead of posting it for every chapter. I do not own Harry Potter or any other of J.K. Rowling's wonderful characters. I only want to play in her world. I intend this story to be merely for pleasure, not profit._

**Pairings:** HP/DM, RW/HG, GW/NL

**Genre:** Angst/Romance

**Rating:** R (just in case), but more likely it will be PG-13

**Warnings:** mentions child abuse, cutting, and rape; male/male pairing (yes, this will be slash!)

**Spoilers:** all five books!

**Special Note: **_I recently reposted this chapter. _This story's title is taken from a Linkin Park song called "Somewhere I Belong," as you probably already know. It really reflects how Harry, Draco, Sirius, and possibly Remus may feel about everything and I have included it here to set the tone for the rest of the story. I had originally included here by I had to remove it per fanfiction's policy.

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A/N: Sorry, this is just a clarification about the story's time frame. The gang went to Donn Island around May 1st, which is Beltane, when the Veil would be at its thinnest. Harry wasn't allowed to see Sirius for nearly a week after he woke up from his ordeal. A couple weeks after that it was decided that Sirius needed the healers at St. Mungo's in order to recover. So Sirius was in the hospital almost a month before school let out at the end of June. (I think I said that he was sent there on the Friday before school let out in EOTM- disregard that completely. Oops!)

**Chapter 1- Watching Over You**

Draco awoke groggily to the sound of a bed spring creaking in the room as covers rustled about. Opening a pale blue eye he saw that Ron was struggling to get out of bed. His sheets had wrapped themselves around him in the night and didn't seem to want to let go. If there was one thing Draco had learned about Ron it was that he tossed around a lot at night. And it wasn't even because he was having a nightmare or anything; he was just that active of a sleeper. Finally, Ron was free from his covers and he tossed them aside.

"G'morning," Draco said tiredly, yawning and stretching on the cot that had been placed in between the two beds. Before last summer, Draco never thought he would ever be civil with the red head, let alone be sharing a room with him, and here he was exchanging pleasantries with him mid morning.

"Hey… I'm going down to breakfast," whispered Ron, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and adjusting his too short pajamas so that they weren't twisted about his body anymore. "You coming?"

"Not yet. I think I'll try to get a few more winks in…" whispered Draco, adjusting his blanket around him and trying to appear tired.

"Yeah right…" said Ron sarcastically, throwing a glance at his best mate lying in the other twin bed. "Just let him sleep a bit longer before you wake him. He probably could use the rest."

"I wasn't going to wake him…" Draco protested, but the look he earned from Ron told him that he didn't believe him.

The blonde was soon left alone, and he turned on his side to face Harry, who was lying on the bed just above his cot. He stared up at his beautiful boyfriend and sighed softly. He wondered sometimes how he got so lucky to be with someone like Harry. An unfortunate series of events had brought them together, and now Draco couldn't imagine life without him. He had never been the serious relationship type before, but Harry brought out of him qualities he never knew existed within him; inherent needs that made him want to hold on tight to the small teen and never let go. His hardened exterior had melted away as his love for Harry grew. Looking back at the way he used to be, Draco hardly recognized himself anymore. Had he really been so arrogant and callous only a year ago?

Draco enjoyed watching Harry sleep for some odd reason, but then again he enjoyed watching Harry do just about anything. He was grateful that he had another opportunity to do so. It was only three weeks into the summer holiday and Harry had already spent the night at Black Manor twice now. Once during a full moon when Remus had gone to Hogwarts for his transformation and now because Remus was finally bringing Harry's godfather home to Villa de Luna.

Sirius Black had been in the mental ward at St. Mungo's now for nearly two months and was finally being discharged. The healers had suggested that he be transitioned into the new environment as smoothly as possible; meaning at least one night home without his godson to worry over him. Oddly, Harry hadn't really protested not being able to see Sirius right away. Harry had never said anything, but Draco wondered if it was because he was somewhat afraid of him now. The last time Harry had seen Sirius, he had been thrown up against the wall of the infirmary. It was an accident of sorts, but it left him rather shaken. With the abuse Harry had suffered in the past, it wasn't something that he would easily forget.

Draco watched the slim teen resting peacefully on his side, with his messy dark head propped up on his arm. The morning light was streaming through the curtains and illuminating Harry's pale face. Jinx was curled up by his stomach enjoying the warmth that the sunlight provided. Draco reached up and petted the little Kneazle, and she purred affectionately. Usually she never left Draco's side, but when Harry was around she gave him her full attention. It was as if she knew that he needed the small amount of comfort she was able to offer. Though Draco would never admit it, he loved the poor creature and he was glad they brought her back from their journey. She made him feel a little less alone when Harry wasn't around.

Lying there peacefully, Draco couldn't get over how angelic Harry looked. It was all he could do not to reach out and kiss his lips. He could be so irresistible sometimes, but Ron was right. He really didn't want to wake him; Harry really could use the rest. His nightmares about the Dark Lord had returned once the connection through his scar had been re-established. More often than not he awoke screaming into the night, terrified by the horrible images he was witnessing and begging for them to stop. Usually the nightmares were about one of his previous encounters with the evil wizard, but sometimes he witnessed Voldemort and his Death Eaters actions in the present as they pillaged wizarding villages and tortured and killed innocent people. Poor Remus was beside himself with worry and was awake more often than not watching over his young ward to make sure he wasn't alone when one of the nightmares took hold.

Draco knew that Harry saw the connection as a mixed blessing. Although he witnessed and experienced many awful things, he was able to warn the Order and the Ministry of what was going on again. Many lives had been saved as a result, and there hadn't been a massacre since the battle at Dartmoor. Unfortunately, the number of Death Eaters remained strong, gathering new members almost daily as wizards and witches surrendered in defeat. Everyone was terrified, and families were being torn apart.

Harry had insisted on training for the war as soon as summer arrived. Remus had taught him how to swim and they swam laps around the lake by the cabin nearly every morning in order to build up his endurance. Harry also began lessons with Severus in Occlumency, which were scheduled sporadically as the Potions Master was busy with spying for the Order. The only way Harry would agree to the lessons was if he was able to put memories he didn't want the Potions Master to see into his pensieve.

In addition, they _all_ began to study several different textbooks on the Defense Against Dark Arts that they had asked Remus to order for them. The texts were supposed to have been supplementary to what they would learn next year, but given the fact that there was a war raging around them, it seemed important to get a head start. They were each coming of age at different times this year so everyone was learning at their own pace and choosing to study what interested them most.

Ron, Hermione, and Draco had all turned 17 before they left Hogwarts so they were able to practice the spells that they were learning about all summer long. Hermione had been spending more time at home with her parents, but was expected to stay at Black Manor for part of the summer. Ron and Draco had taken to dueling against one another quite often in order to apply what they were reading about. It was a nice way to get out the frustration over one another's personality quirks that seemed to endlessly get on each other's nerves. The three of them decided to go get their Apparition license together and they each passed successfully.

Harry and Neville, who kept close contact with Ginny through owls, only had to wait until July 31st to get their apparition license and be able to practice magic. And of course Ginny had only just turned 16 so she still had to wait another year to practice magic outside of Hogwarts.

Draco had also managed to keep in contact with Blaise this summer and had sent him a few copies of the books they were studying. It was nice having someone outside Harry's circle of friends that he could confide in. Blaise understood things differently than the others and Draco felt like he could be himself around him. He had been a good friend to him this past year, and Draco knew that he would be just as eager as they were to be able to defend himself properly. Blaise had been at the receiving end of as many pranks as he had by their fellow Slytherins. And there was a quite few spells that they would both love to use next year if the situation required it.

Draco wasn't really looking forward to their last year at Hogwarts after the year he had just had. But knowing that Harry would be with him every step of the way made it seem all worthwhile.

It was hard to look at his beautiful face as he lay there sleeping and not want more in their relationship, but Draco would wait for him for as long as it would take. He knew in his heart that they would someday have a healthy sexual relationship, but Harry had too much to overcome first. Years of abuse in so many forms had to taken its toll on his emotional well being. He had already made so much progress, but it may still be a while before they could be more intimate. The rape last summer still haunted him endlessly.

Continuing to study Harry's pale face as he slept, Draco could almost pretend that he was really okay now. But he knew better. Harry had a lot more emotional baggage than any human had the right to bear and his sessions with Remus had continued this summer. Draco hoped that they were enough to stop Harry from the need to harm himself anymore. Seeing Harry bloodied in the infirmary last winter nearly broke his heart.

Waiting for Harry to wake up, Draco sat up on his pillow with his legs crossed so that his back was against the night stand. Draco idly stared at the palm of his left hand, as he often did, and traced the white scar that lined the pale flesh. It didn't hurt anymore, not since it was healed, but it represented so much that had happened last term. The alliance he formed with Hermione and Ron… researching the Veil… watching over Harry… helping him on his mission to save his beloved godfather… painfully slicing his own hand to reanimate his cousin… finding the will to slice Harry's hand so that he wouldn't have to...

That was probably one of the hardest things he had ever had to do… willingly hurting his own boyfriend for the sake of another. Draco knew Harry had been upset about not being able to cut, but it was better to have him angry with him than worry that he had cut too deeply or that he had triggered his addiction again.

Draco had been so happy for Harry that the complicated spell and potion had successfully retrieved Sirius from Limbo, especially since Draco had first hand knowledge about how awful it was to experience that otherworld. At first, everything appeared to be wonderful… that is until Sirius woke up. Seeing the man so disoriented and crazed at his inability to comprehend reality was unsettling to say the least. He just hoped that they had done the right thing, and that Harry wouldn't come to harm living in the same house as a man who had to be institutionalized.

Seeing that Harry was finally beginning to stir, Draco leaned over and did what he wanted to do all morning. He placed a chaste kiss on his lips and pulled back to see his reaction. Harry woke up somewhat startled. He always had a hard time seeing things at first in the morning when he didn't have his glasses on. Figuring out who the blurry figure was in front of him he smiled and realized what had awakened him.

"Hi," Harry said sleepily, resting his head back down on the pillow again.

"Hi," said Draco back, resting the side of his face on the edge of the bed.

"Were you watching me sleep?" asked Harry, who had a strange look on his face.

"Yeah. Does that bother you?"

"I guess not. It's just weird…" Harry said shrugging.

"It's not weird," Draco insisted. "I love looking at you."

Harry smiled again and initiated another kiss, this one a little deeper than before. Pulling back he asked, "Where's Ron?"

"Down at breakfast already. Where else would he be? I swear all he thinks about is food sometimes…" Draco said jokingly.

"We should probably get down there too before there isn't any food left," said Harry throwing off his blanket and attempting to get out of bed. Jinx was knocked to the floor unceremoniously. She mewed her protest and slipped out the door that was slightly ajar probably to look for some breakfast of her own.

Draco shook his head. "Not yet…" he said as he pushed Harry back on the bed.

"What?"

"I may not be able to sleep with you while Weasley is in the room, but I'm not going to pass up an opportunity to get some snuggling time in. Budge up…"

Harry giggled sheepishly as he made room on the small bed for the taller boy. It was so rare that they ever got a chance to be alone. Draco slipped under the covers and brought Harry close to his body so that they were facing one another. Their arms and legs were tangled together as they attempted to get close as physically possible. The warmth that radiated between them was amazing and Draco felt perfectly content. Harry reached up and stroked his face lovingly.

"How are you doing?" he asked curiously.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, how are you doing? I know this place isn't exactly homey…" That was an understatement! Even after all the cleaning and redecorating they had done to the place, it still felt as dismal as ever. "And there are always people in and out of here… and well you and Ron seem to fight all the time…" Harry continued.

Draco was touched that Harry was worried about how he was adjusting to living here. "I'm fine, Harry. I don't mind being here, and the Weasleys have been really kind to me. It's not the Burrow, but it will have to do. Besides it's not like I have any where else to go."

Like Harry, Draco had grown fond of the Burrow during his stay there last summer. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before, and once he got over his snobbishness about its poor state he came to realize that the lopsided house had been erected out of love. It permeated ever corner of the house and numerous memories could be felt everywhere. It was a shame the Order felt it unsafe for them to return there for the time being. With the war looming closer and closer safety had become the number one priority.

The truth was that Draco was grateful to have any place to stay at all, and secretly he was glad that the Weasleys had taken him in again. He had grown used to the rowdy bunch last summer and over Christmas, and felt like he understood for the first time what being a family really meant. It still bothered him that he had to rely on others to support him now that he didn't have any money, but in a few years he could find a job and he would make sure that he paid these good people back for caring for him. He doubted they would take it, but he could at least try to offer them something after everything they had sacrificed for him.

"But you and Ron fight-"

"We don't fight, honestly!" Draco protested, knowing that it really wasn't true. As hard as they tried to put their feelings aside for Harry they still managed to find things to quarrel about.

"Yes you do!"

"No more than he does with Ginny. Just think of it as… er, I don't know… siblings bickering, okay?"

"Siblings, ey?" asked Harry smiling.

"Well, whatever you want to call it. Mrs. Weasley has all but adopted me anyway. She treats me no different than the rest of her kids. I get stuck with just as many chores as they do. And I swear that she thinks that it's her life mission to stuff us all with food. I keep insisting I'm full, but she gives me another helping anyway. Why does she do that?"

"I don't know… must be a mother thing…" Harry said wistfully.

"Maybe…" he replied.

Draco examined Harry carefully wondering what he was thinking about. He knew that the younger boy didn't miss his parents in the conventional sense, not really since he never knew them, but he did miss out on being cared for by a motherly figure. His aunt had never really cared for him, and Draco suspected that Harry loved it when Ron's mum doted on him. Remus did his best with him at home, but it wasn't the same as having a woman around. Draco secretly liked being doted on by her as well, especially since his own mother had never paid much attention to him. The house elves had been forced to raise him while she worried about other more important things… like managing the Manor and planning the next social event.

Draco sometimes wondered what had become of his own mother after she was sighted in Dartmoor, but he never dwelled on it too long. For some reason he had a feeling that she hadn't died… but that bothered him even more. If she had been captured by the Death Eaters, then death would be more of a blessing than anything else. Part of him wanted to look for her… after all; she was his mother even if she never really understood what that role meant.

Not wanting to dwell on depressing thoughts any longer, Draco pulled Harry a little closer- if that was even possible- and buried his nose in the crook of his neck. There he began to softly kiss the tender flesh and received a low hum of approval from Harry as a result.

He kissed his way up his neck and across Harry's jaw line until he captured his lips once again. His tongue darted out and caressed his lips asking for entrance. Harry opened his mouth appreciatively and began to kiss him back, their tongues sliding past one another sensually.

Harry surprisingly took more of an active role this time and began to use his hands to explore Draco's body. Soon they were sliding under his pajama top and groping at his chest and back. One hand even found his way beneath his pajama pants and came to rest on his bottom, gripping the bare flesh there as he pressed his body into Draco. They kissed and caressed and loved each other several minutes longer until Draco finally pulled back. He knew that this was as far as Harry was willing to go… at least this time… and Ron would probably be back shortly.

Harry moaned in disappointment as Draco scooted away from him slightly and placed a kiss on his forehead. Harry sighed and realized why they had stop and reached out to nuzzle Draco's nose with his own for an Eskimo kiss. Neither of them knew when it started, but they always ended their snogging sessions in this way.

Draco pulled him out of bed, and together they made their way downstairs to the kitchen passing Ron on the way, who gave them a knowing look. Both Draco and Harry blushed deeply and hurried towards the kitchen a little faster.

They passed the row of shrunken heads mounted on plaques on the wall- a legacy of house elves who had served the Black family for so long. Harry always looked at them with disdain. He had explained long ago that the former house elf, Kreacher, had betrayed Sirius and the Order of the Phoenix when he was accidentally given leave by his godfather. Apparently he went straight to Malfoy Mansion, but Draco had never seen any house elf that looked out of the ordinary. It pained him to think how his father must have used the information that the wretched creature provided to lure Harry to the Department of Mysteries.

They then tiptoed past the long moth eaten curtains that covered the painting of Mrs. Black. The last thing anyone needed to hear that morning was the sound of that horrible woman screeching about traitors in her house. The Order had still not found a way to remove the permanent sticking charm that had been placed on the back of the canvas.

Old fashioned gas lamps lined the walls, flickering light over the peeling wallpaper and threadbare carpet of the long gloomy hallway. Even during the daylight this place was amazingly dark. Draco could never shake the sense of foreboding that this house seemed to cast, and he was always on edge expecting to find some strange creature lurking about. It had alarmed him greatly when he first heard something scuttling behind the baseboards in the hallway. He wasn't used to living in such conditions.

They then walked down the hallway, past the living room that contained Sirius's family history. Draco had taken the time to study the large tapestry that adorned the far wall once before. It was so odd to see his own name embroidered amongst the rest of Sirius's family members. A few of the names had been blasted off by his mother long ago for being "blood traitors" and wondered if he shouldn't blast his own name off as well as proof that he had changed sides.

He had always known that he was somehow related to Harry's godfather and possibly the Weasleys in some fashion, but it wasn't until he saw the tapestry that he made the connections. It was sort of odd to be staying in his house, when Sirius would be staying with Harry and Remus. Harry had explained how he had run away from his family when he was sixteen and that he had hated being locked up in Black Manor during their fifth year. Returning here after being in the hospital would probably bring up too many bad memories.

Making their way down another set of stairs they entered the kitchen where they found Mrs. Weasley bustling about as usual. She quickly sat them down and brought them a plate of sausage and eggs with a side of toast. Also seated at the table was Ginny, Tonks- his first cousin actually- and a few other Order members whose names he hadn't really bothered to learn. Draco wondered if Molly ever tired of taking care of so many people all the time. Who took care of her?

The kitchen itself reminded him a lot of the one the house elves would cook in back at Malfoy Mansion. It was a large cavernous room with rough stone walls and large fireplace at the end of the room from which a cauldron was hung that was used for cooking. Several heavy iron pots and pans were suspended from the dark ceiling and long wooden table was at the center of the room. Various oddly mismatched chairs had been brought in from other parts of the house to accommodate the many members of the Order when they had meetings.

Draco still didn't understand why he and Ron, who were both of age, couldn't join the Order. Fred and George had been finally allowed in, but Mrs. Weasley seemed to think that the rest of them should wait until they were out of school completely. She didn't want their education to be interrupted by battles that they would be expected to fight in if they joined.

Harry and Draco ate quietly and discussed with Ginny what everyone was doing for the rest of the day. Since they weren't allowed to fly their broomsticks in the Muggle neighborhood there was little else to do besides reading or cleaning.

They decided to spend the rest of the day lounging around the living room with Ron and Ginny trying to pass the time by reading and playing a few wizarding games. But exploding snap and wizarding chess can only hold your attention for so long, especially when they both seemed to be on such a losing streak.

Having nothing else to do, and sick of studying, Harry and Draco made their way out to the garden in the back and sat on the swing that Molly had brought from the Burrow. The bench could seat up to three people and was suspended from a pole set between two A-frame structures that jutted up from the ground. It had been strategically placed beneath the shade of the large maple that was in the far corner of the yard. It had evolved to become everyone's "thinking spot" so to speak. When there was something you need to think on or if you need some peace and quiet, you could always come out the swing and find your thoughts. Sitting in a cool breeze while swaying back and forth was somehow very centering.

They soon discovered where the little Kneazle had gone off to earlier. Jinx had been playing in the garden when they came out, chasing a butterfly as it flitted from flower to flower. But now she was curled up in the shade, taking another cat nap.

They sat close to one another and held hands, appreciating the chance to be alone once again. From his tense body language, Draco could sense that there was something on Harry's mind.

"Listen, there's something I need to talk to you about… and I'm not sure how to tell you…" the smaller teen said finally.

"What?" asked Draco seeing the worried look on Harry's face.

"It's just that… well, with Sirius coming home and all… I'm not sure how he will react to…"

"Us?" asked Draco, suddenly realizing where Harry was going with all of this.

Harry nodded slowly. "Yeah… on top of everything else…I just need some time that's all. I don't want to tell him about all that other stuff at all, but Remus says I will have to eventually… I just don't know how he will react to any of it… so do you mind keeping our relationship a secret from him for a little while," he asked hopefully.

Draco thought about what Harry was trying to say and realized that he was a little confused. "Is it because you're not sure how he will react to you being gay or is it because I'm a Malfoy?"

Harry thought about it a minute. "Both actually…"

"Fine, but I don't want to hide that we're together forever… almost all of Hogwarts knows already… what does it matter if Sirius knows?"

"I don't know… it just does…I don't know what he will think…"

"What do you mean? Remus is cool with it…why would Sirius be any different?"

"Because he used to always ask me about my love life… what girls I was interested in and all that… I guess I'm just afraid that he will be disappointed in me… from what I heard, he was quite the player in his day…and he doesn't know you like I do… all he's heard is about all the awful fights you and I used to get into… how do I explain how you and I came together unless I tell him everything else… he just won't get it…" Harry began to ramble.

"If it means that much to you, I guess I can restrain myself from groping you around him…" Draco said playfully squeezing his hand.

"Thanks," said Harry, resting his head on the blonde's shoulder. He was still pretty tense and Draco could sense some apprehension about returning to Villa de Luna again.

"Are you nervous to go home?" asked Draco.

"No, of course not! Why would I be?"

Draco turned to look him in the eye, and Harry sighed. "Alright, a little bit… yeah…" he said.

"Only a little nervous?"

"Okay, extremely nervous!" Harry admitted. "I have no idea what to expect. Will things be like how they were before? Or will he be different now?"

"What does Remus say?"

"Only that he's a lot like his old self now that the healers have worked with him, but that he still has problems understanding some things."

"Like what?"

"Well, he didn't really say… I guess I'll find out."

Checking his watch, Harry realized much to his disappointment that it was already time for him to floo back home. He had promised Remus that he would be home for dinner so that the three of them could sit down together.

They made their way back inside so Harry could collect his things. He stuffed what little he brought with him for the two day stay into his shoulder bag and made sure that he tidied up the room a bit.

Jinx followed him out of the room and down the stairs, darting back and forth between his legs and making it difficult to walk. "Jinx, I'll see you soon girl," he said laughing.

After saying his goodbyes to everyone still left in the house, Harry walked over to the fireplace in the living room. Draco and Jinx followed him closely wanting to get in a proper goodbye as well. He would probably be seeing Harry again soon, but each time he left he felt a little sad. He picked up his small pet to ensure that she wouldn't try to follow Harry into the fireplace.

Seeing the worry crossing his boyfriend's face again, Draco said, "Hey, if you need me or something…. just owl me, or better yet, fire call… or I could just floo over…"

"Draco, thanks, but I'm fine. I'm sure everything will be alright. I'll talk to you soon," said Harry, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I know, I just worry. Why can't you just stay here?" Draco whined. "I like seeing you everyday. We could cuddle some more…"

"As appealing as that sounds, I need to go home…" Harry said smiling. Using that term got to him every time. As much as he was dreading facing Sirius again, he loved his new home and feeling like he belonged to a family of sorts. "I need to do this…"

"I know… I don't mean to make things difficult…" Draco said, pulling Harry into a kiss. Harry kissed him back earnestly and finally pulled away, their lips both slightly red.

"Love you," said Harry, giving his nose a quick nuzzle. He then gave scratched Jinx lightly behind the ears before stepping into the fireplace, his bag strung over his shoulder.

"Love you, too," Draco whispered, holding Jinx close, as he silently prayed for everything to work out for Harry.

He watched as Harry bent over and grabbed a handful of floo powder from a pot near the fireplace. Harry then threw down the magical powder down and said, "Villa de Luna," disappearing within the green flames.

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A/N: Awww… that was pretty fluffy for me. I tried not to incorporate so much angst, but it kept finding its way in. Unfortunately, that is the pattern I have established in these stories and it would be odd to get rid of it at this point. I had planned on starting this story much sooner, but my muse was occupied with the other story I have been writing, _Shattered Illusions._ I had a loose outline already done for _Somewhere I Belong_, but it was filled with some plot holes that I couldn't seem to fill. It was really annoying- things weren't connecting the way I wanted them to. In the end, instead of overanalyzing the story line any further, I ignored it completely and wrote the first chapter on a whim. (I always change the outline as I go along anyway- I know where I'm going but my muse changes the path I take to get there). I also really wanted to write from Harry's perspective, probably because I'm so used to it by now, but Draco surprisingly took over. I know how much you love him and that he was somewhat neglected as a character in the previous story. I hope you liked how this chapter turned out.

**Don't forget to review!**

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	2. Apparent Normality

**Chapter 2- Apparent Normality**

Harry tumbled out of the fireplace into the living room of Villa de Luna. Luckily he was able to catch himself on the arm of the couch before he fell forward completely. The green flames of the fireplace quickly dissipated behind him. Standing up straight he took a few steadying breaths willing away the queasiness that had begun in his stomach. He hated traveling by floo because he always felt somewhat ill afterwards no matter how many times he had traveled that way. Harry was rather looking forward to getting his Apparition license as another means of transportation even if he would have to walk past the wards surrounding the property in order to cast the spell.

He looked around the first floor of the cabin and took a deep breath expecting to see Sirius and Remus, but he appeared to be all alone. Depositing his overnight bag on the couch carelessly Harry listened to the sounds of the house wondering where the adults were. He half expected to be greeted by his godfather and guardian the second he arrived home, but the cabin was eerily quiet. All the apprehension he had been feeling earlier came rushing back with greater magnitude. He had no idea what to expect when he saw his godfather again. The last time they had seen each other the situation ended rather badly. With everything Sirius had been through Harry had no idea what frame of mind he was in anymore.

The only thing that gave Harry any confidence about seeing him again was the knowledge that Remus would be there with him every step of the way. The man had become his anchor in many respects and Harry trusted him now more than anyone else- except maybe Draco or Ron and Hermione.

He had hated leaving his boyfriend behind to come home, but this was something he needed to do. Harry had thought about Sirius nonstop since he had returned from Donn Island and he needed to know that what he had done was the right decision.

A fragrant aroma suddenly wafted towards him and Harry breathed in the wondrous smell deeply. His stomach growled eagerly and the queasiness he felt earlier gave way to hunger. Following his nose, Harry walked toward the kitchen to see what was on the stove. A pot of water was boiling and another pan contained a thick red sauce. A fresh salad tossed with tomatoes, cucumbers, and red onions was waiting on the counter nearby.

"Spaghetti and meatballs?" Harry wondered aloud.

"Yeah, do you think that's alright?" asked a voice behind him.

Harry whirled around to see Remus entering the kitchen. "Hey," said Harry smiling at the man who had made him feel so loved and safe over the last few weeks. It had been so nice to have a real father figure to watch over him for once.

"Hey yourself. When did you get here?" Remus said jokingly. He gave Harry a quick one armed hug as he approached the stove to check on the dinner. "I was in the loo and didn't even know you'd come home. I would have greeted you."

"Don't worry, I just got here," Harry replied. "Where's Sirius?"

Remus looked over at him as he stirred the marinara sauce. "Oh, upstairs taking another nap. We were up most of the night talking about things and I suppose he's still pretty tired. I slept on and off most of the morning myself." He then spelled the spoon to stir itself and dumped a handful of dry spaghetti into the pot of boiling water.

"Oh," Harry replied lamely, feeling somewhat disappointed.

He didn't know what he had expected, but somehow it wasn't that. He would have thought that Sirius would be anxiously waiting around for him instead of napping, but he understood why he hadn't. It was probably good that the two old friends had an opportunity to talk without him around and he figured he knew why they had chosen to stay up late talking. Remus had explained before that Sirius had trouble sleeping sometimes because of nightmares so it was probably good that he was able to get some rest when he could. If anyone knew what it felt like to feel tired and restless all the time, it was Harry.

Now that he got a chance to get a good look at Remus while he was cooking, Harry noticed that he still appeared rather tired. Dark circles marred the skin below his eyes indicating that he had gone another night without any proper sleep. He hated knowing that he was one of the reasons that Remus lacked a restful sleep most nights. He was up half the night worrying over Harry when he woke up from another vision or one of his numerous nightmares.

Like before, Harry was prohibited from taking a Dreamless Sleep Potion more than a couple of nights a week. He had pleaded with his caretaker to cast a silencing spell around his room so that he wouldn't wake him with his screaming, but Remus had adamantly refused. He had been there for him after every horrible dream, and Harry was secretly grateful. He had never had anyone to sit with him after a nightmare before and he was relishing the parental role Remus had taken in his life. He didn't care that he was nearly an adult now and that he was probably too old for such things. The simple fact of knowing that someone cared about him was powerful enough to cast any such doubts aside.

"So do you think spaghetti and meatballs are alright for dinner?" Remus asked again, breaking Harry of his train of thought.

"Yeah, sure, why not?" he asked looking up at him. He decided to take a seat at the kitchen table so that he could watch Remus cook while they talked.

"I don't know…" Remus replied distractedly. By the look on his face it seemed as if he was nervous about the whole affair himself. He pulled a pan of garlic rolls from the oven and placing them in a bread basket that had been waiting to receive them.

"That's what you made for dinner when I came here for the first time," Harry offered, "and that turned out great."

Remus smiled appreciatively and continued to monitor everything on the stove.

Still feeling rather anxious, Harry decided to help out by setting the table for dinner as a distraction. It had become a habit after living with Remus these last few weeks anyway. They took turns preparing meals, but the other always set the table and did the washing up. They had worked out a way of life together that suited them both.

Harry didn't mind the few chores he had in the slightest because Remus had never asked very much of him. In fact, he often told Harry it wasn't necessary when he tried to help out more often. As a result, Harry had more freedom than he ever experienced in his life. He had time to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, within reason of course. That meant he could actually do his homework for next year and hang out with his friends, something Remus encouraged at every possibility.

He decided that they should eat in the dining area of the first floor instead of at the breakfast table in the kitchen. The open floor plan of the cabin meant that the kitchen, dining room area, and living room area were all contained in one large space. They rarely used the table in the dining area because they preferred to hang out in the kitchen or in front of the fireplace. But tonight seemed like the right occasion to eat a meal there. He set out three plates and glasses and then went to the drawer that contained the cutlery. There was something on his mind that he wanted to ask since he saw Remus, but he wasn't sure if it was really appropriate or not to pry.

"Remus…" Harry began finally, once he found all the proper utensils.

"Yeah?"

"What did you two talk about last night?" He wanted to know as much about his godfather as possible, but he also wanted confirmation that Remus hadn't said anything about him.

"Lots of stuff really. Mostly we reminisced about being Marauders in the old days, but we talked about some other stuff as well." Remus watched as Harry walked across the room and set a cloth napkin, fork, knife, and spoon at each place setting. Harry then returned to the kitchen to grab with a bowl of freshly grated parmesan cheese from the refrigerator. He placed the bowl in the center of the dining table before coming back into the kitchen.

"Like what?" asked Harry, leaning on the kitchen chair in front of him with his two hands. He felt like he was bracing himself from some horrible truth.

"You know I can't tell you that…" Remus replied softly, pouring the pot of cooked spaghetti into a colander to be drained in the sink.

Harry was taken aback. "What? Why not?"

"Do you want me to tell Sirius what we discuss in our sessions?" he asked, raising an eyebrow knowingly. Remus then dumped the now drained spaghetti into a large bowl. He poured the meatballs and marinara sauce on top.

Harry immediately shook his head no. That was the last thing he wanted to happen. "Do you mean you're like his therapist now too?"

"Well, not exactly. More like a friend willing to listen, but in some ways I handle him the way I would with a patient. Harry..." he paused for a moment as if choosing his words. "I'm not going to lie to you. The healers at St. Mungo's have done a remarkable job helping Sirius, but he has a long way to go yet."

"What do you mean?" Harry hadn't told anyone but he had been worried that he had done something wrong during the spell or making the potion. Maybe that was the reason Sirius was having so many problems.

"It's hard to explain. He is generally well adjusted but he still gets a bit confused. He remembers everything that happened before he fell through the Veil- even the time he spent in Azkaban- but he has a hard time understanding that almost a year has gone by since then. It's strange because he seems to remember his time in Limbo as well, but in another respect it's like it didn't happen at all. That probably has a lot to do with the complicated memory charms and potions he has had to endure these last two months. He says his brain feels like Swiss cheese after all the time he had to undergo Legilimency."

"They invaded his mind?" Harry asked incredulously. He was shocked to say the least. He thought that Legilimency was only used by Death Eaters wishing to seek out information in somebody's mind. He had no idea that it was used by others.

"Yeah. It's actually a pretty common practice in emotional healing. Legilimency was originally intended to help unlock fragile minds… that is until Voldemort started using the method to pry into people's minds looking for secrets. It helps the healers guide their patients through painful memories or help to connect parts of the mind that may be malfunctioning. It is very complicated magic. In Sirius's case his subconscious was somehow skewing what was reality. They helped to bring out his conscious mind gradually. He was eventually able to understand that all his 'demons' were really memories from his past."

Harry considered what he said and it made some sort of sense to him. "Are you a Legilimens?"

Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise at the question. He nodded and said, "I was trained in the art during my schooling, but I'm not as skilled as the healers at St. Mungo's or Severus Snape for that matter. It's one thing to be able to break into another's mind, it's quite another to be able block someone else."

"Is that why I still have to take Occlumency lessons with Snape?" He crossed his arms over his chest sullenly.

"Yes, it is. I know you don't like it, but our hope is that if you are ever faced with a situation in which Voldemort or his Death Eaters try to break into your mind you will be able to defend yourself. And if we can get you to Occlude your mind before bed, you may not have as many visions," Remus pointed out.

"I know, I know…" Harry said, rolling his eyes. He had been told this nearly a hundred times, but it didn't make it any easier. He still didn't fully understand what he was actually supposed to do, and Snape only had limited time to spend with him. He only felt mildly successful at blocking his mind from others. Secretly, he was glad that he still received the visions and he wasn't sure if he wanted them to stop altogether. As horrible as they were, he was helping to save lives by alerting the Order of what was going on.

"By the way, the healers said that Sirius's old journal really helped to remember his past. They wanted to let you know that they appreciated you lending it to them." Remus quickly added the dressing to the salad and shoved a pair of tongs in the side. Harry found two serving spoons and placed them into the spaghetti.

"Oh, no big deal," Harry replied. Harry hated parting with the journal because it was the only thing he really had of Sirius, but if it meant returning his godfather to him alive and well again then it didn't really matter. Remus had brought it to St. Mungo's on one of his bi-weekly visits. Harry had been extremely upset when he learned that he wasn't able to visit Sirius as well, but at the time his godfather had still been rather unstable. No one wanted a repeat performance of what happened in Hogwarts infirmary. "Where's the journal now?"

"I believe Sirius has it once again…"

"Oh…" he replied. Together they began to walk back and forth carrying the bowls and whatever else they needed to the dining table.

Harry suddenly realized that he never really got to the question that he wanted to ask earlier. It was still weighing on his mind and he knew this would be the only time to ask Remus. "Did you talk about me last night?"

"Yes…"

"Did you tell him-"

Remus put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. "No, Harry, I didn't tell him about the Dursleys or about what happened last year. We just talked about what a great kid you are," he replied messing up his hair worse than it already was.

"Thanks, but…"

"No buts… I told you I wouldn't tell him anything until you were ready. I really think that you should say something soon, however. He's bound to find out one way or another."

"Why do I have to tell him at all?" Harry began to whine. "You know… isn't that enough?"

Remus looked him dead in the eye. "Because he's your godfather! He has a right to know… he deserves to know…"

"But I don't want him to… I just want to be _normal_ for once…or at least appear to be normal for a change."

"I know that Harry, but you need to tell him eventually. The sooner the better, I say. I'm not going to back down on this one."

"Fine!" Harry knew there was no point to arguing with Remus. He could be quite stubborn when he wanted to be.

They were suddenly alerted of Sirius's presence when they heard his footsteps creaking down the stairs. Harry knew they were to have dinner together, but he had almost forgotten that Sirius was even in the house. His heart began to thump wildly and his palms became sweaty from his nervousness. Remus squeezed his shoulder gently, and Harry felt immense relief. It was comforting knowing that he wasn't alone. He wasn't even sure why he was so nervous in the first place.

Harry stood completely frozen as he watched Sirius slowly descend the steps. He still looked a bit sleepy and made a big yawn on the way down, stretching his arms over his head. He didn't seem to notice that Harry and Remus were watching him.

When Sirius reached the bottom of the steps he turned slightly and caught sight of his godson. Their eyes met for a brief moment and it was as if they were connected once again. The air suddenly felt oddly charged as if their emotions were becoming manifested with magic.

Harry took a step forward and Sirius met him the rest of the way, rushing forward and embracing him in a bone crushing hug. Harry's first instinct was to tense up, but he soon realized that he hadn't had any need to worry in the first place. His godfather was hugging him! Harry breathed in his familiar scent and felt such joy that his godfather was alive once again.

"Harry!" he shouted excitedly, squeezing him even tighter. While hugging him, Sirius had lifted him off of the floor so that his feet were now dangling uselessly.

"Sirius…" Remus warned. "Let the poor boy go before you suffocate him completely." He was standing nearby watching their exchange with a glint of happiness in his eyes.

"Sorry…" he said finally releasing Harry from his grip. He stepped back and held him at arm's length instead. "I have missed you _so much_. I was so sad that I had to wait to see my favorite godson until today."

"I'm your only godson," Harry replied, playing along. This was definitely the Sirius he had known- always one to make jokes no matter what the situation was. It was as if nothing had ever happened.

"Oh yeah, that's right…"

Then Sirius stopped smiling for a moment and looked at Harry sadly, his eyes becoming glassy. Harry was taken aback by sudden change and wasn't sure what to do about the situation. He was only really comfortable around Remus and Draco when it came to affection, and only somewhat with Ron and Hermione. He had no idea what to do with his godfather who appeared to be on the verge of tears. Suddenly Sirius fell to his knees in front of him, but never took his sights off of Harry. He grabbed Harry's wrist in each hand and stared up at him in awe.

"Is it true? That you saved me?" Sirius said, almost in a whisper.

"Yeah…" Harry whispered back.

"They said that you and I were somehow connected while I was… gone away. Did you really experience all those horrible memories of mine in your dreams?" Sirius inquired, his blue eyes seeking to look into Harry's green ones.

Harry quickly looked away and nodded, not sure what else he should say. It had been a difficult year experiencing all those dreams. He hadn't really understood what they all meant until later in the year and for a long while he had questioned his own sanity. Harry wasn't sure if Sirius knew he heard him calling out to him while he was awake. He preferred that he didn't especially since Harry almost took his life thinking that he had somehow gone crazy.

"I'm so sorry, Harry…so sorry…" Sirius went on. "If I knew that you had to witness all that… I… I don't know what I would do… but... I…. I wish that I could somehow have stopped it…"

"Sirius, neither of us had any control over any of that. Once I realized what was happening I made sure that I got you out of there. I couldn't stand to leave you in such a horrible place," Harry assured him, looking down at his godfather. "Did you experience any of my memories while you were there?"

"No… I don't think so…" Sirius replied, looking at Harry strangely. Harry merely nodded, grateful that he would be able to keep his secrets a little while longer.

"Thank you for saving me… thank you so much, Harry," Sirius exclaimed, hugging his godson tightly around the middle as he continued to stand on his knees. "You have no idea what you have done for me… you brought me back from that hell… you gave me a second chance at life… "

"Its okay, Sirius. You would have done the same for me…"

Sirius smiled and nodded as he rose to his feet once again. Harry felt relieved and hoped that they could all finally sit down to eat and leave all this emotion behind them. Just as he was about to turn away he felt Sirius's hand on his shoulder. It had surprised him a little bit and it was all he could do not to flinch. "Remus said that I attacked you when you came to visit me in Hogwarts…"

"It's okay…" Harry mumbled, not liking the direction this conversation was going.

"No it is not okay… I'm really sorry. I wasn't in the right mind. You know I would never hurt you intentionally, right?"

Harry nodded, not completely sure if he believed it himself or not. "Good because I am truly really sorry and rather embarrassed. I don't know what got into me. It was like I was somewhere else at the time. I didn't even realize it was you in the room with me until later…." Sirius shrugged as his voice trailed off. It appeared as if he wanted to say something more because he kept opening and closing his mouth like a fish. In the end he just shrugged his shoulders again and took at seat at the table that contained their meal.

"Dinner smells wonderful. You didn't have to go through all this trouble Remus. You know I would eat just about anything. In fact, I think I lived off of rodents for a year or so…"

Remus and Harry chuckled lightly at his dark comment, remembering that while Sirius was on the run he had to make do by whatever means necessary. That meant hiding out in a cave as Padfoot and surviving on a meager rat or two whenever possible. They took their seats at the table and began serving up the meal.

"When was that… two years ago?" Sirius asked.

"More than three…" Remus replied. Sirius seemed surprised by his comment and looked like he was mentally doing the math. Eventually his facial expressions conveyed that Remus was indeed right. He shrugged in acknowledgement.

"And Sirius this was no trouble, really. I thought it be nice to have a 'welcome home' dinner. It's good to have you back old friend," replied Remus, clapping his hand on his best mate's shoulder. "In fact I have just the thing for such a celebration. I almost forgot that I had it." He went back to the kitchen and returned quickly with what he had been looking for. He popped opened a bottle of wine and poured some into Sirius's and his glass. Harry was stuck drinking pumpkin juice, not that he minded really.

It was rather quiet for a few minutes as they passed the garlic rolls around the table and began eating their meal. It seemed like no one knew exactly what to say.

"Man this feels strange…" said Sirius finally, breaking the silence. He scooped a few more meatballs from the sauce and plopped them down on top of his spaghetti. He had skipped the first course entirely stating that he didn't like 'rabbit food.'

"Why's that?" asked Remus, poking his salad around on his plate.

"I just can't remember the last time I had a normal meal… The hospital food was horrible. And even before when we were at my mother's house there were Order members in and out of that place all day long. I swear the kitchen should have had one of those Muggle revolving door things. Molly always made such nice food, but I always felt like we were eating in a cafeteria," Sirius mused. He twirled his spaghetti around his fork and then took a big bite, relishing the taste.

Remus nodded and smiled. "I agree with you on that. It did feel rather odd sometimes. I myself prefer to dine with family and friends."

"Here, here!" Sirius exclaimed, raising his glass of wine for an impromptu toast. "To family and friends!"

"To family and friends!" Harry and Remus both replied, clinking their glasses with Sirius's.

There was another few moments of silence until Sirius set down his fork noisily and sat back, startling Harry greatly. He had almost forgotten how boisterous his godfather could be. "You know what? This really is a celebration. Did you hear the news, Harry? I'm a free man! Isn't that great?" Sirius whooped happily.

"Yes, I know. Remus told me all about that. I'm so happy for you!" Harry exclaimed, smiling at his godfather. He hoped that the man could finally find peace and happiness after everything he had been through. Maybe now he could finally lead a normal life instead of having to hide all the time.

Sirius smiled back at him happily. "You know what this means, don't you? I actually get to go… _out_… in public!"

"I know, it's great…" Harry replied.

"I'm going to have to take you on a shopping spree for your birthday!" Sirius exclaimed. Harry was more touched by the fact that he had even remembered his birthday after everything that happened than anything else.

"I'm happy for you as well old friend, but don't get too carried away. People have a funny way of holding grudges even when they are presented with the truth. You might not receive a warm welcoming when you do decide to go out and about…"

"Oh, you're no fun… always thinking practically," said Sirius playfully. "You're the one that helped to create this joyous occasion. Can't you just be excited?"

"I am… I am…" Remus said softly, but he still looked troubled by the fact that wizarding society may still not fully accept Sirius.

The Daily Prophet had done an article on Sirius with Dumbledore's permission about how he was falsely accused and that Peter had been apprehended. The headmaster conveniently left out the fact that he had been considered dead for nearly a year and was in the mental ward at St. Mungo's. Sirius didn't need anymore bad publicity. The Ministry simply thought that Sirius had turned up after being on the run. The Order somehow managed to conceal the fact that he had fallen through the veil at the Department of Mysteries and then resurrected by his godson. How was that for deception?

Spearing a meatball with his fork Sirius's tone of voice changed to something a kin to sarcasm. "I bet that rat bastard is groveling on his hands and knees as we speak begging for forgiveness." His voice was dripping with disdain now. "What I wouldn't love to do to him if I got my hands on him…. I can't believe you didn't tear him apart when you caught him Remus!"

Harry and Remus exchanged a glance. They had both noticed the sudden mood change. Sirius has switched gears for utter happiness to complete loathing in three seconds flat. That had to be world record somewhere.

"Yeah, well I did what I was thought was right. You got your freedom, didn't you? That's all that matters now," Remus replied firmly.

"But what he did to James and Lily-" Sirius began, growing frustrated.

"-is in the past, and I for one would not like to dwell on Peter's betrayal any longer. We're supposed to be celebrating." Remus looked him dead in the eye. Harry was sure that Remus was trying to steer Sirius away from any negative conversations.

Sirius considered what he had said. "I suppose you're right." He dropped the conversation but it was clear from the gleam in his eye that it was not forgotten. Sirius's hatred of Pettigrew was just too strong.

Harry had spent the first half of the meal observing the two men seated beside him. Remus and Sirius seemed to be in sharper contrast to each other now more than ever. Whereas Remus seemed mature and calm and steady. Sirius was a ball of nervous energy seeking an outlet. Remus seemed older than his years after the numerous painful transformations he had undergone, his short hair continuing to grey and a few wrinkles lining his tired face. Sirius looked much younger and almost youthful now that he had been resurrected. He looked good… really good. His long lustrous black hair was now shoulder length and his blue eyes were brighter than ever. His gaunt appearance had been replaced by healthy body. He looked as if he had never spent a day in Azkaban in all his years.

"Tho Hawwey…" Sirius began again through a mouthful of food. Realizing that he couldn't speak properly, he swallowed and tried again. "So Harry… tell me how you and I were connected while I was in Limbo. No one seems to want to give me a straight answer and I must admit I'm pretty confused still about the whole ordeal."

Harry's heart felt like it dropped into his stomach. He didn't know how he should reply. If he told Sirius that he had been in Limbo as well and that they had somehow established a connection when he was there… then he would have to explain about the soul mate spell… and about Draco… and how they came together… and all the horrible facts that came with it. Thinking quickly Harry decided to go with a half truth. The rest he could reveal over time when he felt better prepared.

"Er… well, you see… we weren't c-connected at first… it wasn't until after Halloween that I started having dreams about you..."

Remus looked like he wanted to interject but said nothing. Harry knew that he had to do this on his own.

"Why? What happened on Halloween?" Sirius asked curiously.

"There was a big masquerade ball planned for the holiday. It took place in Hogsmeade. Dumbledore thought that it would be safe because he extended the wards at Hogwarts to include the village. What he didn't realize is that Pansy Parkinson- she was a Slytherin in my year- was working with the Death Eaters. She managed to weaken the wards enough so that they could get through."

Harry saw Remus give him nod. Apparently he approved of what he had revealed so far.

"The village was attacked!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Yeah. Voldemort brought in Dementors too- he controls them now," Harry revealed. As hungry as he was before he had completely lost his appetite now. He decided to push his food around on his plate instead.

"The Dementors left Azkaban?" There was a hint of worry in Sirius's voice. The creatures affected him as badly as they did Harry. The only thing that kept him sane and prevented the Dementors from debilitating him completely while he was in prison was the knowledge that he was innocent.

"Yeah. I think most are under his control, but we ran into one on our way to Donn Island. I'm not really sure why."

"You never told me that!" Remus scolded.

"I didn't? Sorry…" Harry muttered.

"That's pretty important information. I'll need to tell the Order. This could be a sign of some disloyalty amongst the Dementors towards Voldemort. We might be able to work this to our advantage!" Remus exclaimed, pondering the issue further inside his head. He had a pensive look on his face and he sipped his wine. Addressing Harry again, Remus added, "You must have been pretty weak after your encounter. How did you ever find the strength to perform the spell that brought Sirius back?"

"I don't know… I just did…"

"Alright… Voldemort attacked the village and you must have gotten away or else you wouldn't be here. What does this have to do with you and I being connected?" Sirius asked.

Harry took a deep breath and replied, "Well, Voldemort tried to kill me…. he even cast the killing curse at me…"

"What! How did you survive? What happened?"

"Er… well… Draco cast this spell that saved me… it's like ancient magic or something… Mum was actually researching it before she died… but the spell sent our souls to Limbo as a result."

"You were in Limbo?" Sirius reached out a put a hand on top of Harry's arm.

"Yeah, but for only like 24 hours. Not that long really," Harry insisted seeing how upset Sirius was becoming.

"I can't believe this happened. Did you have to relive your memories too?" Sirius asked, his voice almost a whisper.

Harry took his arm away and crossed them over his chest, slightly hugging himself. "Yeah…"

"What happened in yours?" His water blue eyes were trying to make contact with Harry's, but he looked away hoping that the conversation would end somehow.

"Sirius, now is not the time," Remus warned.

"Why not? My godson had to go that god awful place! I know how horrible it is. He must have relived his worst memories and I would like to know what that may be!" He turned back towards Harry. "Was it the death of your parents?"

"I'm not sure. I don't remember…" Harry lied. He saw that Remus was shaking his head because of his deceit, but Sirius didn't seem to notice. He looked as if he were trying to understand something.

"Well how did you get out? Was it like what you did for me?"

"No... not at all. It was much easier for me because I had a body to come back to. I just had to choose to live again despite the crappy things that have happened in my life. I think it had to do with the type of spell that was used."

Sirius seemed to find this as an acceptable answer, but something was still troubling him. "Wait a minute… you said _Draco_ cast the spell that saved you. Do you mean _Draco Malfoy_… as in Lucius Malfoy's son?"

"Er… yeah…" Harry could feel his whole body become tense. He knew that Sirius wouldn't understand his relationship with Draco, but he wasn't sure how to handle it.

"I don't understand. That boy was raised to follow his father's footsteps. He's nothing more than a no good Death Eater. Why in the world would he save you from his Dark Lord?" Sirius was gesturing with his hands now, indicating that he was on edge.

"Sirius, he is not a Death Eater!" Harry protested.

"Sirius-" Remus tried to say. By now all three of them had pushed their meals aside. No one seemed to be able to eat with the turn the conversation had taken.

"Yeah right! He must have an agenda of some kind for him to save you. Are you sure that's what really happened? Maybe he wanted you to go to Limbo?"

Harry was getting really upset. He couldn't deal with his godfather trying to tear apart the person he loved more than anything else. "You don't understand! Draco is different now!"

"What's with you? You used to hate Draco Malfoy! He has done nothing but bully you and your friends since you came to Hogwarts. Why are you defending him?"

"Because we're friends now…" Harry muttered, not willingly to admit that they were together in a gay relationship yet.

Sirius was utterly flabbergasted. "You're friends with a Slytherin? How the hell did this happen? Did you know about all of this Remus?" he asked heatedly. There was no doubt now that Sirius was angry about the situation.

"Yes…"

"Harry what are you thinking? That lot are all Death Eaters in training? You know that. Why would you want to associate with someone from that house?"

"I was almost sorted into that house…" Harry said under his breath.

Sirius eyed him suspiciously. "What was that?"

"Nothing…"

"I must admit that I don't approve of this so-called friendship. You must realize that he is only using you…"

"Sirius… you don't know him… it's not like that…" Harry pleaded.

"Do Ron and Hermione know?"

Harry nodded and replied, "Of course. They're friends with him too."

Sirius broke out with laughter laced with sarcasm. "Ronald Weasley is friends with Draco Malfoy? That's a laugh! Their fathers hate each other. Arthur would never allow it!"

"Actually, Sirius, the Weasleys have taken Draco into their home again this summer. He stayed with them last summer and over Christmas as well," Remus admitted.

"What? But the Weasleys are staying at headquarters! You mean to tell me that Draco Malfoy is in _my house_?" Sirius asked exasperatedly.

"Yes…" said Remus.

"Are you both that stupid? He's just spying on the Order for his master. There is no telling what secrets he has already divulged. We need to get him out of there!" Sirius slapped the table as if to solidify his point.

Harry sat there miserably, his arms still crossed over his waist, his food long forgotten. This was turning out worse than he thought. If Sirius's feelings were this strong about Draco being his friend than there was no way that he could tell him that they were dating.

Harry felt himself growing angrier by the second. He knew that Sirius didn't understand the entire situation (mostly because Harry hadn't told him the truth about it all yet) and that was why he was acting like this, but it didn't seem to make things any easier. This was Draco Sirius was talking about… the one person who Harry had ever made a true romantic connection with… … the one who stood beside him after everything that happened… the one that he loved more than life itself and he loved him back.

Harry could feel a welling of emotion rise up in his chest, and he had to get it out before it consumed him completely. He knew that if he started shouting back that he could risk accidentally telling Sirius something that he didn't want to, but at this point he no longer cared. He opened his mouth to retort Sirius's last comment, but before he could get anything out, Remus cut into the conversation. He must have realized that this was about to turn into a yelling match and had decided to play referee.

"Sirius… you listen to me because I'm only going to say this once," Remus began, his voice so firm that he had silenced his friend completely. "You do not know Draco Malfoy like you think you do and you have no right to pass judgment on him. He has willingly cut all ties with his family because he refuses to join the dark side and has sought refuge with the Order. He has been a very good friend to Harry this year through things you know nothing about. He even helped add his _own_ blood to the sacrifice needed to resurrect you. He is a good boy and I won't tolerate you saying one bad word against him. Do you hear me? He is your cousin, for Merlin's sake! You should embrace family, not drive them away."

"But Remus, why would he go against his own family? It's clear that all he ever wanted was to be just like his father…"

"Maybe because his family was a little too much like your own…" Remus said fiercely.

This Sirius seemed to understand and he kept his mouth shut for the rest of the meal, though no one really ate. They didn't say much else either except when they needed something passed that was on the other side of the table.

When it was time to start clearing the table, Remus and Harry quickly began to grab the dishes and carry to them to the sink. Sirius, who hadn't moved to help them, stayed in his seat and watched them carefully.

Without even having to speak the pair began to work side by side cleaning up the kitchen. Although it would have been technically Harry's turn to do the washing up, Remus was helping him to get the job done more quickly.

Harry took his position by the sink, scrubbing the dishes and then rinsing them carefully. Remus would dry them and then put them away as he cleaned the countertops and the table. Magic could be used to do either of these chores by using levitation charms and basic house hold spells, but if you didn't concentrate things could get broken easily. Sometimes the Muggle way was just as effective. They moved smoothly around each other not even having to communicate, knowing from experience what the other was going to do before they did it.

Cleaning up after a meal could be a messy business, but Harry wasn't about to roll up his sleeves and expose the scars on his forearms while he was washing the dishes. Instead he was careful about not getting his sleeves too wet. He was more than well aware that Sirius was watching his every move.

"You know you could help instead of just staring at us," Remus finally said as he put the glasses away.

"I didn't really feel like it and it seems as if you two were doing just fine," Sirius replied smugly. He then crossed his arms over his chest and got a grumpy look on his face.

"What is it…" Remus asked, knowing that his friend was fishing for someone to ask what is wrong.

"Oh nothing. You two just seem pretty cozy. How long has Harry been living here anyway?" Sirius asked knowingly.

Harry could feel himself beginning to panic. He looked worriedly over at Remus praying that he wouldn't tell him anything. Sirius had already reacted badly to him being friends with Draco. How would he react if he knew the Dursleys had abused him?

Remus looked back at him his grey eyes full of understanding. "Why?" he asked Sirius, sitting down across from him. Harry remained in the kitchen watching the two friends talk.

"I don't know. I thought that he was brought here because I was being released from the hospital, but it seems like it's more than that. You are all buddy-buddy with each other. I feel like there is something you aren't telling me."

"You're right, there is. I held off telling you because I wasn't sure how you would take it…." Remus began.

"Well?" Sirius looked over at Harry, who was gripping a towel in his hands so tightly it looked as if he might tear it apart.

"I'm Harry's guardian now," Remus said simply.

"_Please Remus…. please don't tell him anything. Not yet. Not tonight…"_ Harry begged mentally. "_Everything has already gone so badly…"_

"I don't understand. What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius asked.

"It means that Harry is under my care for as long as he sees fit. I petitioned for guardianship several months ago and the courts ordered full custody to me. He wasn't brought here just because you were coming home. Harry lives here now," Remus explained.

"But I'm his godfather!" Sirius insisted, "Why are you his guardian?"

Remus sighed. "Yes, you are, and you always will be. I would never take that away from you. Harry needed a guardian so I said that I would do it. We thought you were dead Sirius…"

Harry saw Sirius turn to look at him again, his face contorted with confusion. Their eyes met again for the second time that night and Harry felt as if he was looking though his soul unlocking all of his secrets.

"Why did Harry need a guardian? What about the Dursleys?"

Harry couldn't help but shudder at the mention of his hateful relatives, but thankfully Sirius didn't notice.

"Dumbledore decided that they weren't what was best for Harry at the time. After your 'death' Harry came to stay at the Burrow and now he lives with me," Remus explained.

Harry looked at Remus, trying to disguise his surprise in his features that he had all but lied to Sirius about the entire situation. He came to stay at the Burrow because he had run away from the Dursleys after what his uncle did to him. Dumbledore never really had a choice in the decision. Once it was known that Harry had been abused it was obvious that he could never return there despite the protection from Voldemort that his aunt's house might hold.

"What aren't you telling me?" Sirius suddenly asked. "I feel like there's something you're leaving out…"

Remus was about to say something else when Harry stepped forward and said, "I was pretty upset after I thought you had died. And the Dursleys were being their usual annoying selves. I couldn't stand being there any longer so I wrote to Remus to get me out of there. That's all there is to it," Harry lied.

He knew that lying would come back to bite him later but he didn't care at the moment. He was in no mood to deal with godfather's ranting and raving again if he learned about the real reason he left. Remus was shaking his head again sadly, but didn't say anything to correct him.

"How did you get the courts to allow you guardianship when you're a werewolf?" Sirius then asked, seeming to buy the reason Harry wasn't at the Dursleys anymore.

"It's a long complicated explanation with a lot of legal mumbo jumbo, but basically Harry is no longer considered a minor and has a choice about where he wants to live now. I can't adopt him but he can be placed in my care for his own protection," Remus explained.

"I see…" said Sirius a sad look crossing his face. "It doesn't really look like I'm needed here. You got yourselves a nice little family going here."

"Sirius, we are a family, but not without you in it," Remus came around to the other side of the table and placed his hand on his friends shoulder. "You don't know how happy Harry and I are to know that you are alive and well. We need you and I'm pretty sure that you still need us. That will never change. We were family before and we're still family now."

Sirius sighed uncertainly. "Are you sure? I feel like imposing now. I could always go back to Grimmauld Place."

"No!" Harry suddenly shouted. As much as he was worried about things with Sirius he wanted him to here as much as Remus did. And the situation could turn ugly if Sirius went back to Grimmauld Place. "Please stay. Remus might be my guardian, but you are still my godfather. I want you to stay. It's all I've been thinking about since we came back from Donn Island."

"Alright. If you insist…" Sirius replied, a smile breaking his face again that evening.

Harry heaved a sigh in relief and suddenly felt exhausted. He had been extremely tense all day waiting to come home and again all through dinner. He needed a break from everything at the moment and he hoped that Sirius and Remus wouldn't take offense. It was getting to be more than he could handle at the moment.

"Dinner was great and I would love to chat some more, but I think should go work on my homework a bit now before bed," Harry suddenly said. He retrieved his bag from where he had tossed it onto the couch earlier and walked towards the stairs. Turning around briefly Harry said, "It's really great having you back Sirius."

"It's all because of you kiddo," he replied with a smile.

Harry nodded and went up to his bedroom. On the way up he heard Sirius ask, "Why is Harry doing homework now?"

"I think he needs a bit of time alone. This is all really overwhelming to him," Remus replied.

Softly closing the door behind him Harry let out a deep breath he didn't even know he was holding. He couldn't decide if their reunion went well or not. On one hand Sirius seemed to be really upset about a lot of things, but on the other hand he had accepted the half-truths he had been given, which is what he needed him to do. Harry was positive that his godfather would react badly when the whole truth finally did come out.

He flopped down onto his bed and stared up at his ceiling thinking about everything. He just hoped that he could keep up the appearance that he was still the same normal kid that Sirius had come to love. He didn't know how he was going to tell him anything that happened, and he couldn't bear it if Sirius's feelings changed about him. What if he thought he was disgusting? What if he thought he was weak and pathetic? What if he didn't love him anymore?

Only time would tell. Unfortunately, what Harry didn't know was that Sirius would find out about everything eventually, in the worst possible way… a way that nobody could have imagined.

* * *

A/N: Okay, what did you think of Sirius's characterization? I had some trouble with it mainly because I have never written for Sirius's character before- and especially not for a Sirius who was a bit 'nutter' in the head for a while. I wanted to write him so that he seemed like his old self, but make it clear that he still has a lot of issues. By having him bounce back and forth between sadness, happiness, and outright anger so quickly I hoped to convey that there was almost no rhyme or reason to which emotion we would see next. Remus and Harry are going to struggle quite a bit trying to understand him, and vice versa. Sirius doesn't really understand where he fits in their neat little life anymore. Rest assured, Sirius's inner conflict will be examined throughout the story and is an important part of the overall plot. 

A/N2: I got a handy dandy tip for all you writers out there… I mentioned before that I had trouble making everything I wanted to write fit together. So I tried something new and it really seemed to work. Since this story is multi-layered and sub-plotted I created like five different time lines side by side (one for Harry, one for Draco, and so on…) listing the different scenes I wanted to incorporate. I then circled things I wanted to combine together for each chapter. Amazingly I have planned out the next ten chapters! The ending is a little fuzzy right now, but it looks like when this story is done it will be about 20 chapters long when all is said and done.

A/N3: In case you're wondering, Voldemort will be featured in this story but he is not the central plot. This story is mostly an analysis about how each of the characters adjust to what his happening in their lives. Keep in mind the title of the story! There are at least two, maybe three, twists in the road that will send our favorite couple on an emotional roller coaster. I know, aren't I evil?

**Many thanks to all readers and reviewers!**


	3. By the Shores of Silver Lake

A/N: My amazingly wonderful beta, _Drae_, who was away on holiday has just beta'd this chapter. So this is now the corrected version.

**Chapter 3- By the Shores of SilverLake**

_Utter blackness surrounded Harry completely letting no stray bit of light pierce the hell he currently found himself in. Sitting quietly in the darkness, he wondered how he had ended up here once again. Hadn't he run away from this place a year ago? He had no idea how he had gotten there and that frightened him more than anything right now. The last thing he remembered was falling asleep in his room at the cabin. What had become of him?_

_After having spent so many years in this small confined space, he instinctively knew where he was… his cupboard. He didn't even need to reach out to feel for the rough interior walls that lay only a few feet away; the smell alone told him that he was back- that musty forgotten smell that seemed to linger in places not fit for human habitation. _

_Harry didn't even bother checking the cupboard door to see if it was unlocked. His uncle had only forgotten to put the dead bolt in place only once before, and he certainly wouldn't make that mistake again. He drew his knees up to his chest and sat back on the cot so that he was against the wall. He always tried to make himself as small as possible, despite how fruitless his only defense mechanism was. It was more a matter of self comfort than anything else._

_Thundering footsteps slowly began to descend the stairs causing dust and debris to fall from the ceiling; each step echoing a coming presence. Harry's heart began pounding in his chest as fear took hold of him. His breath came in short quick gasps, afraid that if he breathed any louder that it would draw the terror closer._

_The heavy footsteps reached the first floor and pounded across the hallway until they stopped right outside the cupboard door. He held his breath in anticipation praying that it wasn't who he thought it was. The lock on the outside clicked open loudly and the sound was almost deafening in the quiet stillness._

_Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. A crack of light appeared on the left side of the door and widened gradually until the door had opened completely. The hinges creaked loudly as if they hadn't been oiled in many years. The light emanating on the other side of the doorway was blinding and Harry squinted against the brilliant white glow._

_Suddenly, Vernon_ _Dursley's_ _large head appeared in the doorway looking as angry as ever. Whereas it had felt like time was moving slowly before, now it felt like it was speeding up rapidly. Harry could hear himself scream as his uncle reached inside and grabbed his arm. He yanked him out of the cupboard and into the hallway. The blinding light quickly disappeared and the Dursley home came into focus._

_Uncle Vernon spun Harry around and slammed him into the wall. A large beefy hand grabbed the front of his overly large shirt and pushed Harry against the wall again, smacking the back of his skull in the process. He was too paralyzed by fear to prevent anything that was happening. Why was he here again? And why was he wearing Dudley_'_s old hand-me-downs again? _

"_Who did you tell?" Uncle Vernon screamed into his face. Spittle flew from his mouth and landed on Harry's cheek._

"_N-no one!"_ _Harry cried desperately._

"_You told him didn't you? You told that mass murdering godfather of yours about our little games!" he screamed again, pushing him into the wall with such force that Harry thought his ribs might break._

_Harry could feel himself beginning to panic. He had no idea how he was going to get himself out of this situation. "No! I didn't… I s-swear!"_

"_You filthy little liar!"_ _Harry earned himself a smack across the face, but like his head hitting the wall earlier, he strangely felt no pain._

"_What did I tell you would happen if you told!" Vernon's face was merely inches from his own now, trying to use proximity to intimidate him._

"_Y-you'd kill m-me…" he stuttered. Since he was small his uncle had drilled it into his head what would happen if he spilled all their awful secrets._

"_That's right. Now it's time to pay your dues," Uncle Vernon replied, his voice laced with venom._

_Harry felt two large hands grab his throat tightly as the life was choked out of him. His body was picked up off the ground as he hung by his neck. He thrashed his arms and legs violently trying to free himself of his uncle's murderous hold. All the while he stared into Vernon_'_s beady eyes that were so full of hate. _

_Tears coursed down his face as he pleaded for him to stop. "No… please… p-please don't kill me!" he begged, his voice barely a whisper._

"Harry! Harry, wake up!" a voice called.

"_No… p-please…" he pleaded again._

"Harry, wake up!"

Harry jerked himself awake and bolted upright into a seated position on his bed. He felt another weight on the bed and scooted back against the headboard. Unable to see in the darkness, especially without his glasses, he couldn't make out the large body in front of him.

"No!" he screamed, trying to scramble away when it seemed as if the man was lunging towards him.

"_Lumos," _Remus shouted, shooting his wand at the old fashioned gas lamps in his room. "It's okay, Harry! It's me, Remus!"

Harry breathed deeply and willed his heartbeat to stop racing. He placed a hand on his chest and gulped in deep mouthfuls of air. Although it had only been a dream, his uncle choking him had felt so real. A lump had formed in the back of his throat and Harry found himself swallowing with some difficulty, trying to will it away.

"S-sorry… I didn't mean to wake you again," Harry muttered.

Remus looked at him exasperatedly. "Of course you didn't. How many times do I have to say it before you understand? It's okay. I don't mind getting up to be with you after a nightmare. I don't want you to think you have to go through this alone. You're not a bother, so stop thinking that you are."

"I know… it's just…" Harry tried to explain, his throat still feeling rather constricted.

"I know," Remus replied. They had had this conversation for many nights now, but Harry was still at a loss to explain what was troubling him. Maybe it was just that he hated being a bother to the man that had already done so much for him.

Remus then asked his standard question, "Vision or nightmare?"

"Nightmare…" Harry could feel a prickle of tears beginning at the corner of his eyes.

"Can you talk about it?"

"P-please… I don't want to. Not tonight…" Harry begged. "I'm fine, really." He was trying to deny what he was feeling, but the traitorous tears now coursing down his face told otherwise.

"Was it about your uncle?" Remus asked knowingly, cupping his face in his hands. Harry nodded, trying to suppress a sob rising in his chest. Remus brushed the tears away with his thumbs and then pulled Harry into a gentle hug.

Harry let only one small sob escape as he leaned into the warm embrace, but the tears had not stopped falling. His guardian began to rub small circles on his back trying to comfort him. "Why does everything have to be so hard?" Harry asked, burying his face into Remus's shoulder.

"I don't know. Some say that traumatic events help us grow stronger," Remus tried to offer.

"I don't believe that," Harry said flatly. "I've had more than my fair share and it isn't true."

Remus held him more tightly. "How can you say that? Look how far you've come…"

"Yeah and I'm still weak and pathetic…" he mumbled into his shoulder. The dream had shown him that much.

"You're not weak or pathetic! I've never met anyone as strong or as brave as you." Remus pulled back and looked into his eyes.

Harry couldn't help but look away. Usually he had more control over his feelings after a nightmare and could speak to Remus about it. But tonight was somehow different. The dream had left him shaken and unsure of himself once again.

It was his first night back at home since Sirius's return and he was filled with more anxiety than he had felt in a long while. The worse part was he had no idea why. He had even gone to bed without going downstairs to tell the two other men as much, just so he could avoid another confrontation with his godfather.

Why was he dreaming of his uncle again after not having one like it in so long? He could only figure that seeing Sirius again had somehow triggered some old fears and insecurities that he still harbored. Several people knew about what happened to him by now, but telling Sirius was another matter entirely.

Harry was trying to find the words to tell Remus what he was feeling when Sirius appeared in the hallway just outside his door. He quickly wiped away his tears with the back of his hand and tried to compose himself.

"I heard voices. What's going on?" Sirius asked, wiping away the sleep in his eyes as he yawned loudly.

Neither of them spoke at first, wondering what they should say. Sirius suddenly noticed Remus and Harry's closeness to one another and gave them a strange look. Harry couldn't be sure what his godfather was feeling because it was hard for him to see without his glasses, but he looked somewhat hurt.

"Nothing, Sirius. Go back to bed," Remus said sternly.

"What are you two doing up? It's like four in the morning," he persisted.

"Just talking," Harry replied, trying to control the situation.

"About what?" Sirius asked looking completely confused about what was so important that it had to be discussed at this ungodly hour. He leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms over his chest, looking much more awake now. It appeared as if he were waiting for answers.

"Harry had a nightmare," Remus replied truthfully.

Of all people, Harry did not want Sirius to know about his nightmares. He darted a worried look toward Remus, but he couldn't be sure if Remus understood what it meant in the darkness of the dimly lit room.

Sirius suddenly looked very alarmed and took a step forward into his room. Harry couldn't help but feel like he was intruding into his space. "About what? Was it about Voldemort? Are you sure it's not a vision or something?" he asked worriedly.

"No, just a nightmare. Now go back to bed."

Sirius rolled his eyes at his friend and crossed his arms once more in defiance. "Whatever you may think of me… I'm not a child that can be ordered around, Remus. Don't treat me as such. Are you sure it's not a vision? Because we should probably contact Dumbledore."

Harry could feel Remus growing angry by Sirius's intrusion as well. "I know that already, Sirius. I've been dealing with this all summer. Believe me when I tell you this is no big deal."

"I want to know what's going on, dammit!" Sirius complained. It was clear that he felt that he was being left out.

Remus didn't appear to be in any mood to deal with him tonight and threw his hands up in frustration. "I'll tell you later, alright? We're going back to bed as well. Now go!"

Sirius gave Remus a measured look like he wanted to say something more. He was probably too tired to get into an argument right now and Harry was sure that Sirius would bring the matter up again later. Finally he mumbled something that sounded like "Whatever you say Moony…" and stormed off to bed.

Remus had sounded so frustrated and irritated with him. Harry had never heard Remus be so short with anyone before and he couldn't help but think it was because of him. Harry knew it was probably from being awakened in the dead of the night and helping to keep his secrets. The last thing he wanted was to come between Remus and Sirius. They were more than just friends… they were brothers, the last of the marauders, the only "family" either of them still had.

"I told you that you should have placed a silencing charm on my room," Harry muttered, talking more quietly now.

"I won't do that, so stop asking. What if Voldemort tries to possess you in your sleep? I need to be able to know when you need help. Besides, no one should ever wake up from their horrific dreams with no one to comfort them."

Harry sighed deeply. As much as he loved Remus's unconditional support, he hated that the man was always losing sleep over him. "What are you going to tell him? You don't even know about the dream…" Harry said quietly.

Remus looked at him strangely and then realized what he had said to Sirius in order to get him out of the room. After careful consideration he said, "I'll just say it was a flashback to the Triwizard Tournament. You still dream of it anyway so it's not a total lie. Is that alright?" he whispered.

"Yeah," Harry relented, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Remus eyed him carefully. "Are you okay to go back to sleep?"

"I think so…" Harry replied. In truth he didn't want to close his eyes ever again; not if it meant Vernon was going to murder him in his dreams.

"You'll come get me if you need me, right?" Although it was left unsaid, what Remus really meant was "_Come get me if you feel an urge to cut… before you do anything."_ Harry hadn't cut in months, but that didn't mean he didn't feel the need to occasionally- and they both knew that.

"Yeah…"

Remus rubbed his hair affectionately, further adding to his bed head look. He rose to his feet and walked towards the door. "Goodnight," he said, as he drew his wand to put out the lights.

"Can you leave the lights on? I think I want to write for a bit," Harry asked. Remus nodded, looking pleased that Harry was going to pour his thoughts into his journal without his prompting. "Goodnight."

His guardian walked away but stopped short in the doorway. He looked as if he were thinking about something important. Harry stared at his back wondering what was going on. Remus finally turned back around and addressed him again. "Why don't you invite Draco over tomorrow… well, I guess that would be today… but you should invite him over for a swim," he suggested.

Harry stared at him in shock. "You've got to be kidding me, right? Don't you remember the conversation at dinner? Sirius hates Draco!" Harry declared.

Remus smirked in amusement. "I don't know about that… things may be tense if he comes over but the sooner Sirius accepts your _friendship_ with him the better."

Harry shook his head. "I can't do it. It's too soon." What was Remus thinking, suggesting something like that? Was he purposefully trying to add to his anxiety?

"Harry, don't let your godfather dictate your life. You have the right to decide who you want to be friends with and you're free to make your own choices. If you choose to have Draco over, Sirius has no right to protest. And maybe if he sees how great Draco really is, well… that brings you one step closer to him understanding your true relationship."

Remus's argument had made some sort of sense, but that didn't mean Harry felt any better about the prospect of inviting Draco over. "I don't know… I'll think about it," Harry answered.

"Alright. Tell me your decision in the morning and I'll do my best to keep Sirius out of your hair for the day. All I ask is that you eat dinner with us again so we can talk."

Harry considered the matter for a moment. "Shouldn't I be trying to spend time with Sirius instead of hanging out with my boyfriend?"

Remus smiled warmly. "Of course, but I know things still feel awkward between you two. I think the transition will go much more smoothly if we all act as we normally would. I doubt Sirius would want us to feel like he uprooted our lives."

"Won't Sirius get upset?" Harry asked, trying to disguise the fear in his voice.

"Probably, but I'll be there to referee. Trust me. The sooner, the better," Remus said again. The phrase was starting to become his mantra and Harry couldn't help but wonder the truth in it.

Remus closed the door softly behind him, leaving Harry alone once again. Fumbling for his glasses, he found them on the dresser bedside his bed. He then reached into a nearby drawer and pulled out his journal and a Muggle pen. He flipped through the pages, reviewing all that he had written. Diary entries, poems, doodles, and X's- his substitute for cutting- passed by until he found a clean page.

He began by retelling the horrific dream he had through words, trying to make sense of it all. In the end he found the only relief he felt came when he started scratching X's into the page; each one bolder than the next. He pressed his pen so hard into the paper that the page became embossed with them.

Filled with rather unsatisfied, Harry tossed the journal back into the drawer and came to one conclusion. He needed to see Draco tomorrow, whatever the cost.

If Remus had known how truly upset Harry was about the dream or the contents of it, he probably wouldn't have left him alone. He lay back in bed, dimmed the lights, and crossed his arms tightly over his chest as he willed away the urge to cut. He wouldn't do it. Not tonight. Not over that sadistic bastard. Not over a stupid dream. No, he was stronger than that now.

* * *

Remus sighed heavily as he poured through his curriculum for next year. Most professors waited until the last half of August to begin this tedious chore of mapping out the lessons for the year, but Remus always liked to get a head start. This was only his third year teaching and he felt like he still had something to prove. Having more experience than him, the other professors could get away with waiting until the last minute, but it wasn't something he felt comfortable with yet.

His placement as the professor for the Defense Against the Dark Arts class was not one he took for granted. The position had a reputation of sorts- some would even call it a curse- and he was determined to dispel any myths that the school population might still hold about it. As far as he knew, he was the only professor to return for a second year in a row in the last ten years.

Considering the state the wizarding world was in right now with Voldemort's return. Remus was also determined to prepare his students in anyway possible. They needed to be able to protect themselves should they ever be in a situation that called for defensive measures.

He taught all the students at Hogwarts, years one through seven. As professor he had to carefully plan the lessons that he would teach throughout the year, making sure that he didn't repeat lessons that had been taught before. He also made sure that a review of previous lessons took place during teachable moments and strategic points in the curriculum. Remus was responsible for selecting and reviewing the texts that the students would purchase for classes this year as well. Thankfully, he had already sent an owl to the headmaster requesting the texts that the students would be need to be added to the annual Hogwarts letter that would be sent this year.

He was just glad that he didn't have to take care of the scheduling of each class too. That would be a logistical nightmare. Thankfully magic was used to take care of that task. A rather large book created for that purpose sat in the headmaster's office. It catalogued every student, house, and class selections and then generated the course schedules at the beginning of each year, making sure that there were never any conflicts.

Remus took a moment to sit back and take a sip of his coffee. He was currently sprawled out on the table in the dining area of the cabin, papers and books surrounded him in large overflowing piles. To anyone else it would have appeared that he was in the midst of utter chaos, but Remus knew exactly what each pile was for and his intentions for each one.

"Are you _still_ working?" asked Sirius sarcastically, suddenly emerging from outside. "You've been at it all morning. Why don't you take a break for lunch?" Sirius washed his hands in the sink and then grabbed some supplies from the refrigerator and cupboards to make a sandwich.

Remus noticed with a smile that it appeared as if Sirius was already making himself feel right at home. "Thanks, but I already ate." The incident last night was thankfully somehow forgotten, much to Remus's relief. The last thing he needed was Sirius holding a grudge against him.

"Suit yourself," said Sirius, throwing together a loose sandwich on a plate and taking a seat across from him. "Where's Harry? I should probably see if he wants one too."

"Upstairs. I think he's studying. I think he ate already," Remus replied.

"Oh..." Sirius said softly, giving him a thoughtful look.

Remus knew that look. He was fishing for him to ask what's wrong. "What is it?"

"I feel like he's avoiding me or something. I barely saw him yesterday and today he didn't so much as say two words to me at breakfast," Sirius said sadly, taking a large bite of his sandwich.

Remus had noticed that too. The nightmare Harry had last night had really shaken him up; so much so that he wouldn't even tell him about it. Harry had seemed to revert back into his more quiet self this morning in the presence of Sirius. "I don't think he's purposely avoiding you. It's just that… he feels awkward with you around right now. You gotta remember… we thought you were dead for nearly a year. He's still having a hard time with that."

Sirius's pale blue eyes considered what Remus said. "I guess you're right… it just bothers me that he wouldn't even look at me last night when I found you in his room. I feel like he doesn't trust me to know what's going on with him."

Remus sighed, feeling guilty about what had happened now. He hadn't meant to be so curt with Sirius. "About the nightmare last night… Harry gets them fairly often. As you know, he sometimes has visions because of his connection to Voldemort, but he has these awful nightmares about his past as well. He doesn't like anyone knowing about them."

Sirius looked concerned. "What do you mean? Like stuff that happened with Voldemort?"

"Yeah," Remus said, taking a sip of coffee and looking into his cup. He hated lying to Sirius. They had never kept secrets from one another, not since Sirius and the others learned he was a werewolf. He had been so appreciative of their friendship and acceptance of his cruel fate that he had vowed to himself that he would never lie to them again. Unfortunately, protecting Harry meant breaking that personal vow.

"Well that makes two of us having nightmares now, "Sirius replied sadly, polishing off the rest of his sandwich.

Remus knew Sirius's dreams had gradually diminished in frequency during his stay at St. Mungo's, but they were apparently just as terrifying as the dreams Harry had.

"He seems to he really trusts you," Sirius said, breaking the silence. His voice sounded much softer than usual.

"Yeah. We've gotten pretty close," Remus admitted.

Sirius sighed longingly. "I wish I had that with him."

"You will Sirius, give it time," Remus reassured him. "Hey, where did you go off to this morning?"

"A walk around the lake. It was nice to get outdoors and enjoy this beautiful weather," he said with a shrug. "I'm enjoying my new freedom. Do you think Harry will make an appearance this afternoon? The lake looked so inviting that I thought it would be nice if we went for a swim. Wait a minute… does he know how to swim?"

Remus smiled at Sirius's attempt to bond with Harry. "Yes, I taught him myself this summer. We go nearly every morning."

"Why did you skip it today? I hope it's not because of me."

"No, we skipped our swim because Harry is having a friend over to go swimming. He should be here any minute," he revealed. "You can help me with some chores this afternoon if you want."

Remus suddenly felt very guilty for suggesting to Harry that he should invite Draco over. He had no idea that Sirius had intentions of hanging out with the kid today. After yesterday, Remus assumed that both would need some space. He had seriously thought that it would take a while for Sirius to come around, especially after everything he went through since returning from beyond the Veil. It appeared as if Sirius was determined to make things right again.

"Who?" Sirius asked suspiciously. Remus was about to open his mouth when Sirius butted in. "It's not that Malfoy boy is it?" Remus nodded, noticing the harshness in his voice. "I thought I told you I didn't approve of that so-called friendship."

"I know you don't, but that's only because you don't know him. Now Draco is coming over and you are going to be civil with him, no matter what. Maybe you'll learn what Harry and I see him," Remus said firmly.

Sirius pushed his empty plate away in anger. "You are not my keeper, Remus. You don't get to tell me what to do or how I should feel! I do _not_ want that boy here."

Remus set his coffee cup down loudly. "Yes, but I'm Harry's guardian now and this is my house! And I say Harry can invite anyone over he wants. If you don't like it you can leave!"

"Maybe I will!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping up from the table and stalking over to the fireplace.

Remus realized how horrible this situation was becoming and decided to do something to rectify it. "Wait! I didn't mean that. C'mon, Sirius, neither one of us wants to fight over Harry."

"Well then why do you keep throwing the fact that _you're_ Harry's guardian in my face? _I'm_ his godfather. Doesn't that count for something?" Sirius asked. He turned around and crossed his arms over his chest.

Remus was feeling rather horrible now. "Of course. I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. It's just… Harry's different than you remember him. I just know him better now and what is going on in his life. I wish you would just trust me when I tell you things about him."

"Like what?" asked Sirius, shaking his head like there wasn't anything about Harry that he didn't know.

"Like Draco…"

Sirius scowled stubbornly. "What is it with you two defending him? Honestly, you would think that the boy was a fallen angel or something?"

"Well, he did save Harry's life," Remus replied.

Sirius didn't have anything to say after that, so Remus spoke again. "Listen, if you want to gain Harry's trust again, you have to believe that he is capable of making his own decisions. That includes who he wants to be friends with."

"When is he coming?" Sirius asked tiredly.

Remus checked his watch. "Probably soon. Harry sent an owl this morning inviting him over."

A loud knock suddenly came from the cabin door, startling them both. Remus and Sirius stared at one another for a second in bewilderment.

Remus then walked to the door and opened it to see who it was. Draco was standing on the other side looking a little unsure of himself, dressed in Muggle clothing and carrying an old towel. His blond hair was loose and blowing gently in the wind. Jinx was sitting on the ground beside him licking one her paws absentmindedly.

Remus smiled at him warmly. "Hello, Draco. What are you doing knocking on the door? Why didn't you just floo over?"

"I wanted to come over properly, so I apparated outside the wards and walked the rest of the way here. I didn't want to be rude tumbling out of your fireplace," he said politely, seeing Harry's godfather over Remus's shoulder.

Remus smiled at Draco's decision. It appeared that he was trying everything in his power to set a good example for Sirius. "Is Harry here?" Draco said awkwardly after a few seconds, since no one was letting him in the cabin.

"Yes, of course. Sorry about that. Come in, come in," Remus replied, guiding him inside.

Draco picked up Jinx as he entered the cabin. He walked towards the center of the large room towards Sirius. Remus could sense the tension in the room, but was unsure how to dispel any of it. He decided to wait and see how things played out before he intervened. Sirius took a step forward towards the blond, with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Hello, sir," Draco said formally, reaching his hand out.

Sirius shook his hand with an annoyed look on his face. "You may call me Sirius, Malfoy."

"And you may call me Draco. I don't exactly like my last name anymore," he said.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at this but said no more. It was obvious that he was sizing Draco up. Remus noted that he stared at the boy's left arm on more than one occasion looking for the dark mark. It was quiet for a few moments and neither knew what to say.

"I heard that you had a hand in bringing me back," Sirius finally said.

"I did," Draco replied simply, not sure where he was going with that statement. He scratched behind one of Jinx's ears, who was still dangling in his arms, as a distraction.

Sirius nodded and said, "Is that a Kneazle?"

"Yeah, she is. Her name is Jinx," Draco replied. He looked up at the dark haired man curiously.

"I feel like I've seen it before…" Sirius was staring hard at the small creature.

Draco cocked his head to the side in wonder. "You probably have. We found her on our journey to Donn Island. She was actually the one that led us to the temple. You probably caught a glimpse of her when you started waking up."

Silence settled upon them once more and it appeared that they had run out of things to say. Remus moved to the stairs and called for Harry, who popped out of his room rather fast, excited to see his boyfriend again.

"Hey Draco," he said running down the stairs. He stopped short when he saw that Sirius was standing beside him. He looked hesitantly at the three of them.

"Have you been introduced?" Harry asked worriedly.

"Yes," Remus replied, seeing that Sirius and Draco weren't going to say anything.

"Oh, okay. Do you want to come see my room?" Harry asked Draco quickly.

"Sure, I guess…" Harry suddenly ran back upstairs and Draco soon followed, giving Remus a strange look.

"What was that all about?" Sirius asked Remus.

Remus shrugged his shoulders, also noticing Harry's bizarre behavior. "I think he was nervous about you meeting Draco."

"Well that much is obvious. Geez… it's not like I bite," Sirius responded.

"Yes, you do Padfoot…" Remus replied, laughing at his own joke.

"No more than you my werewolf friend," Sirius answered back sarcastically.

Remus enjoyed their friendly banter, having missed it when Sirius had been gone for nearly a year. "Only I have no control over it. You bite others for the sheer joy of it."

"You got me on that one," Sirius said with a chuckle.

When they had still been students at Hogwarts, Sirius used to parade around in his animagus form and nip his fellow students on the back of the heel if they had offended him that day. No one knew that the stray black dog that ran around campus was actually one of their own classmates. If they had, they probably would have been much more discreet about their conversations. Sirius learned a lot of potential blackmail material during that time, but unfortunately the Marauders never got a chance to exploit any of it completely.

"And for the record…" he added. "I still don't trust that boy. I was only civil for Harry's sake."

"I know, Padfoot, I know," Remus replied.

"Why can't he just be friends with Ron and Hermione? Why does he have to be friends with Draco too?" Sirius asked.

"That's for Harry to tell you my friend. Now keep out of their way. If you want to make yourself useful, I need some help fixing this place. There are a lot of repairs and some cleaning that needs to be done around the cabin if you're interested."

"Looks like I don't have anything else better to do," he replied.

Remus nearly keeled over in relief. That had gone so much better than he had expected. If he could keep Sirius occupied, maybe Harry would begin to feel more comfortable with Draco around. "What do you feel up to?"

"Doesn't really matter," Sirius said with a shrug.

The two set off outdoors, intent on repairing an old shed set just behind the cabin.

* * *

Draco soon found himself in Harry's pale yellow room. It was a modestly decorated room, but sort of cheery. The furniture had all been stained a warm dark brown, but the flooring was made of a lighter stained wood. It was also covered in a large sisal rug. A white duvet adorned the full size bed, and matching curtains draped the windows. Harry's personal affects were scattered about the room. His trunk was hidden in the far corner of the room and posters of his favorite Quidditch teams decorated the walls. Draco noticed that Harry had put up the one of the Chudley Cannons Ron had given him, even though Harry himself didn't care much for the team. Framed pictures of his friends and parents had been placed on top one of the dressers, but sadly the black and white photo of the couple had disappeared. He could only assume Harry had put the photo that Draco had given him for Christmas away because of Sirius. Amazingly, Harry's room was as tidy as ever. After living with the Dursleys for so long and being screamed at if anything were out of place, Harry still couldn't bear for anything to be messy.

"Um… Harry, in case you've forgotten, I've seen your room before," Draco said, as Harry had closed the door to his bedroom behind him. He and Ron had already been over a couple of times at the beginning of summer.

"I know… it was just an excuse. I just didn't want things to get out of hand down there," Harry replied, a worried look crossing his face.

"What do you mean?" asked Draco, depositing Jinx and the towel onto Harry's bed. He took a step towards the smaller teen anxiously.

"Things didn't go to well yesterday… Sirius kept asking me all these questions at dinner… about why I was living with Remus… about how I knew about Limbo… and then I had to tell him that you saved me on Halloween… and he couldn't understand that we were friends… and I sort of had to lie… and then I had a nightmare last night… and he found Remus trying to comfort me… I think he might be jealous… and well, he was just so angry… and…" By now Harry was completely out of breath as all his anxiety came pouring out of him.

"Harry, calm down," Draco said soothingly, pulling him into an affectionate hug. "It's okay baby. I don't know what happened yesterday, but Sirius seemed fine to me today. He didn't say anything rude to me at all. Are you sure you're not just working yourself up?"

"I don't know… I might be… I'm just so confused…" Harry replied, looking up into Draco's eyes.

"I know… what was your dream about?" he asked curiously.

Harry pulled away from Draco quickly. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

"But…"

"Draco, I don't want to analyze every damn dream I have, okay," said Harry.

Draco knew how much Harry's dreams could affect him and he was worried about his well being. Remus told him once before that even though a cutter may stop cutting, that doesn't necessarily mean the urges go away. "I know but…"

"Listen, I invited you over to have some fun… and by golly that's what we're going to do," said Harry, smirking at him now.

"Alright, I'll stop pestering you!" Draco replied, throwing his hands up in defeat. He had been really excited to receive Harry's owl about coming over, but he had been confused as well. He figured that he wouldn't be able to see him again for at least a few days.

They both had on their swimsuits already, but Draco had to shed his shoes and shirt. Harry pulled off his shirt as well, and Draco stole a look at his boyfriend. He was shocked to see Harry with such flawless porcelain skin. His eye's searched the small boy's arms and torso for the tell tale scars that had come to adorn his body. The blond tilted his head to the side questioningly and met Harry's eyes.

"Glamour charms," Harry replied, who seemed to understand why Draco was so confused. "I had Remus apply them this morning. Once I'm of age I can do it myself, but until then I have to ask someone else to do it for me..."

"You don't have to hid your scars for me," Draco said, taking Harry's hand. "I love you the way you are."

"It's not you. It's Sirius," he revealed. "Like I said, things didn't really go well last night and I'm not comfortable telling him everything yet."

"When _are_ you going to tell him?" Draco asked curiously.

"I don't know. I have a hard time trying to figure out what he's thinking. It's hard to explain. In some ways he's the same old Sirius I used to know, but in other ways he's so different. There was so much tension between him and Remus too, but I'm not sure why. He's going to hit the roof if I tell him about the Dursleys. He was furious just about us being friends, and I didn't have the heart to tell him we're dating. He seems to think that you're a-"

"- a Death Eater. Yeah, I get it. You don't have to spell it out for me. You can still keep us a secret." Draco knew that Sirius may object to them even being friends, but it was much worse hearing Harry have to say it. Sirius studying his arms for the tell tale tattoo when he first came had not gone unnoticed.

The situation had taken a downward spin again and Draco knew if he didn't try to fix it they would both be in a sour mood for the rest of the afternoon. "Look I came here to go swimming. Let's go have some fun."

"Yeah." Harry smiled appreciatively and looked grateful that Draco had so easily shrugged off the fact that they still had to keep their relationship a secret.

They rushed down the stairs and outside, closely followed by little Jinx. They placed their towels on a tree stump by the wooden path. Harry left his glasses on a tree stump as well and then turned towards Draco. "I'll race you to the dock. Last one there is a rotten dung bomb!" he said excitedly.

Harry took off running but Draco was close behind. Having an unfair advantage Harry reached the end of the dock first. He made a running jump off the dock and landed in the water with an impressive splash as he entered cannon ball style. Draco, always the picture of dignity, made a graceful dive off the dock and pierced the water smoothly. Jinx had followed them down, but decided to sprawl out on the dock to take a cat nap in the sun. Both boys breached the surface at the same time taking large breaths as they treaded water in place.

It was a beautiful day, perfect for two young boys in love to be spending time together during the lazy days of summer. The surface of Silver Lake sparkled like freshly polished gold beneath the rays of the sun. The water was surprisingly calm today. In fact the surface was as smooth as glass reflecting the scenery surrounding them. Enormous trees stood like silent sentinels around the perimeter of the lake while their mirror images seemed to be guarding the murky depths below.

"I'm glad you invited me over today," Draco said floating beside Harry.

"Oh yeah, why is that?" Harry asked curiously.

"Well, I would've been quite alone and bored today. Ginny went to visit Neville and his grandmother. Ron went to visit Hermione in Muggle land for the day, and I haven't heard from Blaise in a while. Mrs. Weasley would have probably set me straight to work cleaning if I hadn't come."

"Well then it's a good thing you did. Let's swim over to the shallows," Harry suggested.

Draco couldn't help but notice the mischievous grin on his face. "Why? You're a pretty good simmer after all those lessons with Remus. Can't we stay in the deeper water where it's cooler?" The shallows tended to be a lot warmer and on a hot day like this Draco rather be someplace cool.

"I want to show you something," Harry replied, rolling his eyes.

"Okay."

The two teens began to swim free style to an area about 20 meters away from the dock that conveniently blocked the view of the cabin by the abundant amount of foliage that grew at the water's edge. Draco was the stronger swimmer of the two so he reached the shallow water first. He allowed his feet to drop to the murky bottom and felt that the water came up high on his chest.

He looked back expecting to see Harry close behind but found that he was no where to be seen. It was as if he had disappeared.

"Harry…" he called. "Harry!"

He knew that Harry was still an inexperienced swimmer, and he should have paid more attention. Draco could feel himself beginning to panic. He scanned the water desperately looking for his beloved boyfriend. The murky water made it nearly impossible to see more than a foot beneath the surface.

"Harry!" he called once more, getting ready to begin diving below in order to look for him.

Draco suddenly felt a pair of hands reach around his legs and go up beneath his swimming trunks, where they gave his bum a playful squeeze. "Aaahhh!" he screamed.

Harry finally surfaced in front of him and squirted a mouthful of water in Draco's face.

"Gah!" Draco said trying to wipe his face but found that his hands were wet as well. "You idiot! I thought you had drowned or something. Is this what you wanted to show me?"

Harry nodded and grinned sheepishly over his childish prank.

"Oh… you are _so _going to pay for that!" the blond shouted, cutting his hand through the water to send a spray of water that got Harry in the face. Retaliation was inevitable.

Draco and Harry suddenly found themselves in the middle of a splash fight, neither one finding it odd or immature considering their age. They both came from childhoods in which neither was ever allowed to play like a kid, so they often found themselves doing childish things as they lived in the moment. It was wonderful to feel so free and uninhibited right now. Like the world were theirs and theirs alone.

Splashing soon turned into tickling… tickling led to playful touching… touching led to kissing.

Draco found himself holding Harry's weight, who had somehow wrapped his legs around his waist while draping his arms over his shoulders in the heat of passion. It was a very compromising position to be found in, but neither one cared. They were well hidden form anyone's view and they needed this time together.

Draco had no idea that water could be so sensual. The cool wetness that surrounded them felt silky against their hot skin. Draco captured Harry's mouth with his own once more and began sucking on his bottom lips. He moved his lips toward the sensitive area on Harry's neck and licked the area gently. Harry moaned in appreciation and Draco deepened his ministrations.

Harry lowered himself down so that he could touch the bottom again. He was still so small that he had to stand on tip toes just so that he could keep his chin above water. Draco thought that he looked especially cute with his wet hair looking wilder than usual. Harry bit his lip as if contemplating something, and then leaned forward and kissed Draco more deeply. A small hand snaked its way down his muscled abdomen and disappeared beneath the band of his swimming trunks.

Draco's heart beat quickened as Harry grasped his throbbing flesh in his hand. They had never gone this far before and part of him thought that they should stop considering the fact that his uncle had made Harry do something similar to him on more than one occasion.

Draco tried to move away, but found another hand on his lower back holding him in place. He didn't know whether he should return the favor or not. Harry was so funny about these sorts of things so he decided to let him take the lead. Their tongues slid back and forth against one another as Harry quickened his strokes down below. A wonderful sensation seemed to be building in his groin. Having never had such an erotic experience before, Draco knew he couldn't hold out much longer. He felt himself release, moaning into Harry's mouth as waves of pleasure rolled down his body. Harry then slipped his hand back out carefully and looked up into his eyes.

Draco smirked at him as he recovered and asked. "Is this what you wanted to show me?"

"Yes," Harry said shyly.

"I must say that it was a nice surprise but-"

"Don't!" he said quickly.

"What do you mean?" Draco asked, feeling rather confused by Harry's sudden change in demeanor.

"Don't ruin it! I enjoyed it. You certainly enjoyed it. Don't bring anything else up!" he pleaded.

Draco suddenly understood. That had been hard for Harry, but he wanted to do it nonetheless. It showed how far he had come in the healing process.

"I love you…" Draco said, capturing Harry's reddened lips once more. He then picked the smaller boy up again and cradled his body to his own so that his legs were wrapped around his waist once again. Draco gave him a tight squeeze so that he could feel his love too.

"And I love you," Harry replied.

They floated in the water clinging to one another for a while longer. If there was one thing Draco was sure about it was Harry's presence in his life. Never again would either boy have to be alone.

They enjoyed their afternoon swim very much and found it very relaxing. They even raced one another across the lake a few times before they finally decided to lie out on the dock, drying their suits in the warm sun and catching a few rays. Both of them were still quite pale and they were determined to get a tan this summer.

They hadn't seen Sirius or Remus since Draco was introduced, and that suited Draco just fine. Harry still seemed rather apprehensive about the whole situation.

They realized that it was getting late so they headed back to the house. Draco pulled on his shirt and shoes in Harry's room and bid him goodbye. He hated to leave, but Harry had explained that he was expected to eat with Remus and Sirius again at dinner and that he didn't want Draco around if there was another argument.

He headed down stairs and decided to leave the way he had come seeing how beautiful the weather was. He made his way outdoors and called for Jinx, who had gone exploring earlier. He waited a moment and heard the small creature running through the underbrush. Appearing finally, she leapt into his arms and began licking his face affectionately like it had been a long time since she had seen him.

He was about to start walking to a point outside the wards where he could Apparate, but Sirius suddenly appeared in his path.

"Leaving so soon?" he asked.

"Yes. Mrs. Weasley expects me home for dinner…" Draco explained, not wanting to give the real reason.

Sirius's eyes narrowed in on him. "I don't know what little game you're playing… or how you managed to blind side Remus and Harry, but I'm not buying it for one minute. I've got my eye on you," said Sirius.

"You can believe what you want, but that doesn't make it true. I'm not playing any games here. Harry and I are _friends_," Draco stressed. "Now, if you would excuse me, I need to be getting home." He walked past Harry's godfather, but stopped when he heard the next comment.

"Home…" Sirius snorted. "That's a funny one."

"What's so funny about it?" asked Draco, whirling around, Jinx still in his arms.

"That is not your home. It's mine actually. Why don't you go back to your mansion where you can be waited on hand and foot?"

"Maybe because I don't like being beaten to death and locked in the dungeons," Draco said coldly.

Sirius's eyes and mouth opened wide in shock. That clearly wasn't what he had expected Draco to say.

"Good day, _cousin_…" Draco said firmly. "Thank you for letting me visit Harry."

He then stalked away, the Kneazle clutched tightly in his arms, leaving Sirius dumbfounded behind him. He was not going to let that man think he was still some spoiled, pampered brat. Harry may want to keep his past a secret, but Draco certainly didn't. He had nothing to hide, and if it meant showing Sirius a few skeletons in his closet to see that he changed then he would do it.

He reached the apparition point and looked back at Villa de Luna one last time. He just hoped that what he had said wouldn't affect Harry somehow. He then disappeared with an audible CRACK and found himself back home in the safety of the Weasleys' care.

* * *

A/N: I was really worried about Sirius's portrayal in the last chapter, but you all seemed to have enjoyed it. And here I thought that chapter was utter crap. This was a fun chapter to write and I'm sure you liked all the H/D fluff. I certainly did. This was my first attempt at including multiple perspectives from various characters in the same chapter. It's kind of experimental and I'm not sure I pulled it off. What did you think? Don't forget to leave a review!

**Many thanks to all my readers and reviewers!**


	4. Biting Words

**Chapter 4- Biting Words**

Draco slept in later than usual the next day. He had had trouble sleeping the night before. Ron seemed to understand and he was blissfully left alone by the others to have a bit of a lie in.

Knowing he would have to face the world eventually, Draco grabbed his things and made his way down to the bathroom they all shared. Thankfully it was unoccupied. Seeing that he had risen much later than all the others, he would have the bathroom all to himself. Most mornings he, Ron, and Ginny fought over who would use the shower first. It was a good thing the twins had a place of their own in Diagon Alley or Draco would never be able to practice good hygiene.

He turned on the hot water in the shower to allow it to warm up and stripped down to nothing. Still as vain as ever, the tall blonde took a moment to study his own physique in the mirror. He wasn't as muscular as he wanted to be, especially after not playing Quidditch for a year, but he was nice looking just the same. All that mattered was that Harry still found him attractive.

Feeling the water spraying down from the shower head, Draco realized that it was now the perfect temperature. He stepped inside the enclosure and began his daily ritual. After he had thoroughly washed every part of his body and made sure his hair was shampooed twice, he decided to linger a few moments longer, enjoying the heat. Leaning his hands against the tile wall, he bent his head forward and allowed the pounding hot water to wash over him.

He couldn't stop thinking about what happened when Sirius had spoken to him yesterday. In fact he had thought about it all night.

"_That is not your home. It's mine actually. Why don't you go back to your mansion where you can be waited on hand and foot?"_ Sirius had said.

Draco knew that Harry's godfather simply didn't understand their relationship or anything that had happened in the last year, but that knowledge wasn't much of a consolation. His words had stung Draco more than he thought it would.

"_That is not your home…"_

It had been difficult adjusting to the fact that he was virtually homeless without the kindness of the Weasleys, but he thought he had overcame all of that last summer. Just when he was feeling comfortable in his new surroundings again, Sirius said something that brought back all of his insecurities.

The truth was he couldn't go back to Malfoy Manor if he wanted to. It had been confiscated by the Ministry along with all of their money and belongings. Lucius had been taken to Azkaban after his capture at Halloween, and his mother, Narcissa, had been missing since last summer. Draco was penniless now and relied on his own godfather, Severus, and the Weasleys to support him.

He found himself wearing his old clothing and even borrowed some of Ron's things that no longer fit him. Draco had no hope of buying a new wardrobe anytime soon, and he was forced to care for his things in ways he never would have thought possible before.

He was more careful about not damaging the things he owned and frequently had to ask Mrs. Weasley to use lengthening charms on his clothes as he continued to grow. In the past he always had the luxury of buying whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. But now he had to learn how to make everything last.

Draco knew in his heart that the Weasley's didn't mind taking in him, but Sirius had managed to place a sense of doubt in him with only a few words.

He finished showering and quickly got dressed. He made his way down to the kitchen to have a late breakfast, and then joined Ron in the living room.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked, seeing the book that was lying in the red head's lap.

"Studying…"

"You're actually _studying_? I thought you only did that when Hermione was around."

"Well, I wanted to learn more about shielding spells and Hermione said that I have to learn to start studying all of this on my own." Ron flipped to the next page and sighed in disgust. "I swear the author purposely wrote this book so that you can't learn a thing. None of this makes any sense to me!"

Draco knew how much Ron struggled in school and wanted to offer his help, but their relationship hadn't reached the point that he felt comfortable doing that just yet. For that matter, Ron probably wouldn't accept anyway.

Deciding that studying for Ron was probably hopeless right now he came up with another idea. "Feel like playing a game of chess?'

"Yeah," Ron replied eagerly, closing the book loudly before tossing it onto another couch. Draco fetched Ron's set and placed in on the coffee table. Both boys sat on the floor across from one another arranging their pieces so that they could begin to play.

Draco was a better player than most of the other Weasleys in the house, but he had yet to win a game against Ron. He was more determined now than ever. They played quietly trying to guess the other's move and then strategizing their own moves way in advance.

While they were caught up in the game, Jinx had come downstairs in search of Draco. She slowly crept up behind him and then placed her two front paws on his back. The blond didn't think anything of it because he was used to her jumping up on him at all hours of the day and night by now. The Kneazle then reached up and began to lick the water from his still wet hair. Draco had no idea what was going on until he heard a chewing sound just behind his ear.

"Ah, Jinx… that's gross…" he said, pushing his new pet away.

He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to straighten the wet strands and ignoring the germs she must have put there by licking him. He then focused his attention back on the game, sensing that Ron was going to win fairly soon. The game had already begun to sway in his favor

Draco didn't see Jinx look at him curiously or run back up behind him again. So he was quite alarmed when she began to lick his hair again.

"Hey stop it… you're so weird!" he exclaimed. Ron looked over at him trying not to laugh at seeing him so frazzled. He didn't lose his cool very often, and certainly not because of some animal.

Seeing that Jinx wasn't going to stop her antics, he grabbed the little Kneazle and placed her firmly on his lap. "Now stay there, and leave me the hell alone!" he said angrily.

Jinx didn't seem to care about his biting tone, because settled in on his lap and soon began to lick her own paws. Draco felt a little guilty so he reached down and stroked her lovingly, showing that he really wasn't mad at her, just irritated.

"So how did things go with Sirius?" Ron asked finally, moving his rook into a new position.

Draco had told Ron yesterday, when he came home from Hermione's house, that he didn't want to talk about what had happened. Respecting his wishes, Ron hadn't bothered him about it again until now.

"Not well. He still thinks I'm a Death Eater. He even searched my arm for the Dark Mark," Draco said. "He also said that this place isn't my home and I should go back to Malfoy Manor."

"Well, I'm not really surprised. He's heard loads of stories about how awful you are… I mean were…" Ron said, catching himself.

Draco was starting to feel really offended. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ron sighed and weighed his words carefully. "Only that I understand why Sirius may not trust you yet. I certainly didn't at first."

"Yeah, well, I've changed now," Draco said, capturing one of Ron's pawns with his bishop.

"Oh really?" asked Ron, sarcastically.

"Yes, really. Don't you think so?" Draco thought of all people, Ron would understand how much he had changed in the past year. They certainly had had their differences, but he had thought that they had finally come to an understanding.

"Malfoy, I know you're in a relationship with Harry and that you both love each other. And you may not be saying all those awful things about Hermione and me anymore… or trying to get us expelled… but…"

"But…" Draco pushed, now ignoring the game completely. He had noticed how Ron reverted back to using his surname just now and it bothered him greatly. He hated being associated with his father.

"Well, you can still be a git sometimes," Ron said finally.

Draco could help but laugh at that. Ron could be just as difficult as he was. "Oh, and you're not?"

"That's beside the point." Ron dismissed the idea with a wave of his hand and looked like he was trying to concentrate on chess again.

"What _is_ the point here because I'm getting a little confused?" he asked. Jinx looked up at him expectantly wondering why he had stopped petting her.

Ron tore his eyes from the game board and crossed his arms over his chest. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't think you fully appreciate everything my family has done for you."

"What?" he asked in confusion. Of all things Draco had expected Ron to say next, that wasn't it.

"You heard me…" Ron muttered.

Draco was feeling really hurt now and he hated that he was letting Ron get to him like this. He knew better than to get an argument with him. They always went around and around a subject, never getting anywhere, and never resolving anything. "That's not true. How can you say that?"

"You still act like you want to be waited on by everybody."

Draco was completely floored by that revelation. Did Ron really think that of him? Did he and Sirius see something in him that he couldn't? Hadn't he changed? "What are you talking about? _I do not._ I do just as many chores around here as you do," he insisted.

"That may be true, but have you ever given an ounce of thanks for all the things my mother does for you?" Ron asked.

Draco shook his head in confusion and raised his shoulders in a shrug. "Like what?"

"Like cleaning your clothes for you with the rest of our wash. And making you something to eat whenever you're hungry, even if there is no one else around. Don't you think she'd appreciate a bit of thanks?" Ron said, the truth spilling out of him once and for all.

"I do too thank her. And I don't expect her to wait on me," Draco insisted.

"Have you ever told her?" Ron asked knowingly.

Draco thought about it a minute and realized he hadn't really every thanked Mrs. Weasley for all that she does. He was sure he had thanked her quite a bit last summer, but not as much since then. He just assumed that she knew how grateful he was for everything he did. The more he thought about it the guiltier he felt. It was even worse that Ron had pointed it out to him.

"I didn't think so…" Ron muttered, fingering the chess pieces that he had captured from Draco.

"Well, you don't thank her either," Draco tried to retort.

"But she's _my_ mother."

"I know that Weasley," he said softly. Draco would never forget that the wonderful woman that took care of him would never be his own mother. She belonged to Ron and Ginny and the other Weasleys. And it made him jealous.

"Well, I'm just saying that it's different because we're family and you're not. You should show more appreciation for all the sacrifices we've made for you."

A hurtful pang tore through Draco's chest.

"Thanks, Ron. That felt really nice…" He jumped up from where he was sitting, knocking Jinx to the floor, who meowed in protest. "You just love to get in a dig at me, don't you!"

To prove just how much Ron had hurt him just now, Draco swiped the chess set off the coffee table. All the chess pieces went flying through the air, angrily yelling their indignation over being treated so thoughtlessly.

Not caring that he had just made a complete mess, he whirled around and stormed out of the room. Ron caught up to him in the hallway and grabbed his arm.

"Wait, Draco!" Ron pleaded, using his first name in an attempt to reclaim peace.

"Let go of me!" Draco screamed, wrenching his arm away from him.

"What's going on?" Ginny asked, suddenly appearing at the foot of the stairs.

"Nothing! Go away!" Ron shouted at his sister.

"No, not 'til you tell me what you're fighting about!" She exclaimed. She stepped between them and looked back and forth between them trying to figure out what was wrong.

Draco looked at her snidely and replied, "Your brother here just reminded me that I'm not part of your family. And apparently I act like an ungrateful git as well- expecting to be waited on as well. Do you believe that too?" He didn't think he would be able to stay in this house if both Weasley children felt that way.

"What? NO! Did you really say those things?" Ginny asked Ron. Her brother looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "How dare you say those things to him? You know that's not true. What's gotten into you?" She said poking him in the chest and staring up at him.

"I don't know…" he replied, finally looking down at his sister. "He just irritates me."

"C'mon Ron… what is this really about?" she asked.

"Really about? Nothing. I just think he should show a little more appreciation!"

"I'm not buying that. You would've complained to me about Draco like you always do, and you haven't once mentioned that you thought he was ungrateful. Does this have to do with Harry?" she prompted.

"What? No!" Ron exclaimed.

"It's the only thing that makes sense. Are you jealous of Harry spending time with him?" she asked.

Ron looked at her as if horns were growing out of her head. "Jealous? Why would I be jealous of Draco? He has nothing I want!"

"He has Harry…" she pointed out. Draco knew that Ginny was perceptive, but this was beyond amazing. She had a knack for getting right at the heart of what was wrong.

Ron huffed angrily and crossed his arms over his chest. "I guess I am a little irritated that Harry would rather be with him than hang around with me. We're supposed to be best mates. First he steals my best friend and now he's moving in on my family!"

"That's not true!" Draco yelled, staring at him exasperatedly.

"You are such an insecure idiot, you know that Ron! Draco's done nothing wrong and yet you still find ways to get into fights with him," said Ginny.

"But he-"

"I don't want to hear it Ron. You need to grow up! Stop being so childish! Harry can be with whoever he wants," she said.

"I know… I just miss when it was just the three of us…" Ron said sadly, referring to the Gryffindor trio.

"Yeah, and if it was still just the three of you, how do you think Harry would feel having to watch you and Hermione make out all the time. Doesn't he deserve the same kind of love?"

"Of course…" Ron said softly, looking at Draco again.

"Well then you better make things right again or Harry will never forgive you," she said.

Ron nodded in understanding and tried to take a step towards Draco. The blond didn't want to hear any of it however and tried to go upstairs. He was still too hurt by Ron's words.

"Wait, Draco!" Ron complained.

When it appeared as if Draco wouldn't stop, Ginny grabbed his arm and turned him around so he would listen.

"I'm sorry for saying all that. I don't know what got into me," Ron mumbled.

"I do… you don't want me here, do you?" Draco asked.

"I never said that!" Ron looked to Ginny for support, but she refused to help him other than keeping Draco from running away.

"You didn't have to! What do you want me to do? Pack my bags and leave? I have no place to go!" he yelled.

"I know that, and no I don't want you to leave," Ron replied earnestly.

"Yeah, right…" Draco rolled his eyes in disbelief and crossed his arms protectively over his chest. He hated feeling like Ron had power over him.

"Draco, I said I'm sorry. We need to stop this petty bickering," the tall red head pleaded.

"Harry would be mad that you're fighting again. You promised him that you wouldn't do this," Ginny finally tried.

Draco listened to what both Weasley's were saying and knew they were right. Unfortunately, the hurt feeling was still lingering heavily in his chest and he felt like he had something to prove.

"Ron, I _have_ changed," he tried to explain.

"I know," Ron replied, running his hand through his hair and giving him a sheepish look.

"Do your parents really think I don't appreciate them?" Draco was really worried about the answer to this question.

Ron sighed. "I'm sure they understand that you're grateful. I was just trying to get under your skin."

"Well it worked," Draco admitted.

"I said I was sorry, already."

"I know. But the next time we duel I'm not showing you any mercy!" Draco smirked at him slyly.

"I wouldn't expect any less," Ron said with a chuckle.

The three of them were now standing awkwardly in the middle of the hallway with nothing left to say.

"I'm going outside now…" Draco muttered finally, suddenly wanting to be alone.

He left Ron and Ginny in the hallway, the youngest Weasley still chastising her brother for being so mean. He made his way out to the swing that he and Harry had sat on almost three days ago, and sat down heavily.

Sirius and Ron's biting words had really gotten to him- cut him deeply. He didn't have a home. He didn't have a family. Other than Harry any Severus, he didn't really have anybody. And that left him with an awful feeling.

Draco would have to make it a point to thank Ron's parents more often, even if what Ron said wasn't true. He did appreciate all of their efforts and he couldn't risk them not knowing as much. What if they suddenly decided he wasn't worth it anymore and tossed him onto the streets? He was sure that wouldn't happen, but it never hurt to be cautious.

After spending a good hour on his own, Draco made his way back into the house. He found Ron sitting on his bed in their room, flipping through a Quidditch magazine.

"Hey," Ron said.

"Hey," he replied.

"I've been doing some thinking while you were gone… about Harry and us fighting and all. What do you say we make another truce?" Ron asked.

"A truce, ey?" Draco asked, eyeing him carefully.

"Yeah, we're going to have to be on good terms with one another if we're going to throw Harry a surprise party," Ron revealed.

"A surprise party?"

"Yeah, I just thought of it. I had figured Remus and Sirius might want to do something for him, but Harry's birthday is this weekend and I haven't heard of them planning anything. Have you?"

"Nope," Draco replied. He was sure that if Remus had planned something he would have been told yesterday. Harry's guardian was dealing with so much right now it probably didn't occur to him how quickly his birthday was approaching.

"Well, they probably had a lot on their minds and all. So do you want to help me plan?" he asked.

"Sure," Draco said with a smile. "Why don't we get Ginny and Hermione involved too? Girls are way better at these kind of things than we are."

"Sounds great," Ron replied. "I'll owl Hermione now and see what she thinks."

Draco nodded and flopped down onto his bed. He stared up at the ceiling as he listened to Ron's quill scratch across the parchment he had grabbed.

"_I have changed? Haven't I? Harry wouldn't want to be with me if I was the same obnoxious brat that I used to be, right? So he must see how hard I've worked to overcome all of that," _he thought.

His attention switched back to Ron as he realized he was trying to get him to think of a plan to get Harry here without him knowing. Draco listened to his ideas and tried not to think about the lingering doubts about everything in the back of his mind.

The old Draco would have been selfish and say that he didn't have time for all of this, just because he was having a bad day. But the new Draco cared for others before himself- so he would listen to all of Ron's ideas patiently, even if he wasn't in the mood at the moment.

He cared for Harry more than words could say. And what was important now was seeing that Harry had a proper celebration for his birthday.

* * *

Unable to sleep once again, Sirius quietly slipped out of the cabin and found a comfortable rocking chair waiting for him. It was still fairly early in the morning and the sun was just beginning to rise. He had wanted to watch the brilliant orb as it ascended into the sky, but found the giant trees surrounding the lake blocked it from his view. 

So instead he took in the scenery around him. The trees blew gently in the wind, swaying in back and forth as if to say hello. The lake sparkled in the dim light, and the grass was heavy with morning dew. Birds, which had awakened long ago, were flitting from tree to tree and chirping noisily.

He'd almost forgotten how peaceful and beautiful it was here at the cabin. When they were younger Remus had invited James, Sirius, and Peter over on a few occasions. Those had been good times- just the four of them enjoying lazy summers and looking for mischief to get into. They had no idea at the time how different their lives would be only a few years later.

James had no way of knowing that he and Lily would die at a young age, leaving their only son an orphan. And Sirius liked to believe that Peter didn't know how the choices in his life would affect them all- that the Peter they knew and loved when they were students was different from the traitorous bastard he would later become. And Remus had no way of knowing that he would lose all of his friends one way or another that fateful Halloween.

It was amazing how many abrupt turns Sirius's life had taken. First he was thrown in Azkaban for a crime he did not commit. Then he broke out of prison looking for the man that had set him up, but found his godson instead. He even led life as a wanted criminal for two years, fearing the Ministry would take him back to that hell hole if they ever found him. And lastly, the event that changed his life forever, he fell through the Veil.

Sirius could now reason that entering Limbo had been an accident of sorts, even if it was his cousin Bellatrix that had helped put him there. But what he didn't understand was why the experience had affected him so badly. He was no stranger to hardship and tragedy, so why did his stay in Limbo wreak such havoc on his emotional state?

He never expected to find himself in the mental ward of St. Mungo's, and yet he endured a two month stay. The first month of his confinement was mostly a blur now. During that time, he had lived in a world of uncertainty and distrust. Nothing was what it seemed. Later it was explained to him, that he had trouble dealing with what was reality and what was a memory. Everything he saw he thought was another manifestation of his brain, meant to trick him into reliving some awful nightmare, afraid that he was still stuck in Limbo. He even heard voices and saw things that weren't even there as he continued to hallucinate. It was only after he worked with his therapist that he began to understand the world around him.

That next month of his life had been one of the most difficult in his life. It's one thing to be crazy and not realize it, but it's quite another to know you're crazy and be unable to do anything about it.

He had been embarrassed, confused, sad, lonely, and frustrated.

He questioned everything and everyone around him. He was force fed potions and had his mind invaded with Legilimency. The healers had even gone so far as to obliviate portions of his brain so that he wouldn't remember his experience in Limbo.

The only thing that kept him sane was his visits with Remus twice a week. For some unexplainable reason, he knew that he could trust his old friend. Even if he was hallucination, he knew that Remus would never harm him. Thankfully, his friend's visits were real. Talking about their past and reading the journal he brought him helped him recover better than any of the techniques his therapist tried.

Unfortunately, the ramifications of everything that happened were still resonating in his life. He had difficulty controlling his emotions, more so now than ever. And he was at a loss as to how to live his life anymore.

He was supposedly a free man now that Peter had been captured, but he had no idea what he was supposed to do now with his life. He had never felt so uncertain before.

Should he try to get a job? Work for the Order again? Maybe get a place of his own? Move back into Black Manor? Stay here with Remus? Should he try to start dating?

It was hard enough trying to reconnect with Remus and Harry, let alone think about any of that. He figured that he would take things slowly and see what happened from there.

Probably the one thing that bothered him most about his ordeal was his relationship with his godson. Harry was a complete mystery. He had saved Sirius from Limbo, but the boy couldn't stand to be around him for some reason. He seemed so different now. It was almost as if Sirius never really knew him. And he was beginning to suspect that there were things about Harry that were purposefully being kept from him.

Before he could contemplate his godson further, a noise inside the cabin alerted him that someone was awake. Sirius watched as the door to the cabin swung open a short while later.

Harry stepped out onto the porch and stretched lazily. He was dressed only in a pair of bright red swimming trunks. A towel was draped over his shoulders, covering his flawless skin. His glasses had been left behind.

Harry startled slightly when he realized he was being watched. Seeing Sirius sitting on the porch, he visibly became tense. Oddly he glanced down at his own body and then sighed in relief as if he were expecting to see something that wasn't there.

"Good morning," said Harry softly.

"Good morning," Sirius replied, forcing a smile on his face in hopes of easing the tension Harry was feeling. "Going for a swim?"

"Yeah. Remus and I go almost every morning. Do you want to come?" Harry asked him.

Sirius looked up from his position on the porch rocking chair and smiled genuinely. It was the first time in the last few days Harry had initiated a conversation or suggesting doing anything with him.

"That would be nice," he replied.

Sirius soon found himself gliding through the water, spending the morning in the sun with Remus and Harry. He realized that he was intruding on their morning ritual together, but he didn't care. He could still sense the closeness between Remus and Harry, and it was a little disconcerting that he no longer had the same thing with them. He wasn't much of a swimmer, but he wasn't willing to be left out of any situation.

The water was very cold but very refreshing. Sirius sensed a calmness slowly overcome him. For now he could forget about everything else as he swam through the water beside his friend and godson. Surprisingly he became winded faster than the other two and decided to head towards the shore. It appeared as if Remus and Harry had no intentions of stopping, each one pushing the other to go a little faster, a little farther. They had been swimming together for nearly four weeks now every morning. Sirius was in no shape to compete with them so he went indoors.

After a hot shower, he found that he had nothing to keep himself occupied. Since he had arrived at Villa de Luna there was something that he had wanted to, but never had an opportunity- check out Harry's room.

He had yet to be invited in there and he was curious as to what it might look like in the daylight. The only time he had seen the interior of the room was when he was awakened by Harry's frightened screams after a nightmare.

Sirius had been really offended when Remus had dismissed him so rudely that night. Did they really think that he was incapable of comforting someone after a nightmare? He wasn't _that_ messed up in the head!

He glanced around the house and outside to make sure that the coast was clear, and he quietly opened the door to his godson's room. He didn't know what he expected to find, but he wanted to know what was going on and neither Remus nor Harry were very forthcoming. He hated snooping around, but he wanted answers. Being the Marauder that he was, that meant finding out by any means necessary.

Outwardly everything seemed normal. Harry was good about keeping up appearances, but Sirius sensed that there was something going on. Harry was different than he last remembered him but not in a way that he could fully understand. He was much more anxious and his green eyes held a haunted look that wasn't there before. His godson's problems seemed to stem from something deeper than witnessing his "death," but no one was letting him in on the secret.

Harry's room was modestly furnished and decorated like a typical teenager would. Quidditch Posters covered the walls and pictures of his friends and family were in picture frames on his dresser. The only thing that seemed odd about the room was how impeccably clean and organized everything was. That certainly wasn't normal teenage behavior. When had Harry become such a neat freak?

Sirius moved closer to the pictures, seeing Harry's glasses left beside one of them. One of the pictures was of Lily and James, taken sometime just after their wedding. He assumed that Remus must have found it and given it to Harry. The next photo was of Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and another boy he had never met, hanging out in the Gryffindor common room. Studying the picture carefully, Sirius noticed that Harry's smile seemed sad and forced on his tired face. Watching the picture carefully, he saw that Ron would occasionally shoot him a worried glance every now and then from the corner of his eye. He never broke his smile, but he seemed to be watching his friend just the same.

Sirius idly wondered what Ron knew about his friend that he didn't. He would have to remember to ask him whenever he finally saw him.

Walking around his godson's room, he noticed a journal sticking out from underneath a pillow on Harry's bed. The pages were crinkled and appeared to be full with writing from the well worn appearance of the cover. It was so heavily used that the journal couldn't even close properly anymore. He could sense magic placed on the journal- probably to keep it from being read by prying eyes- but whatever wards it had they were currently not in place. Curious as ever, Sirius opened up to the first page and began reading.

_Dear Journal,_

_I was a little apprehensive about writing about what I was feeling in here, but once Remus assured me that I could put the same wards on it as I do on my pensieve, I figured I'd at least give it a shot. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be writing about. Remus says that writing can help me with my "emotional pain." It is supposed to be my alternative to…_

"What are you doing in my room?" Harry asked angrily, snatching the journal from Sirius and preventing him from reading any further.

He and Remus must have already finished their swim. Sirius hadn't even realized that Harry had returned to his room to change out of his trunks until he was standing beside him.

"I was just looking around-" Sirius tried to explain.

"Why were you looking though my stuff?" Harry asked, shaking the journal at him to prove that he had no hope of denying what he had done.

"I didn't mean to, it was left open," said Sirius tried again.

"It was not left open. The things I write in here are private. You had no right!" Harry exclaimed, his eyes beginning to shine. "What did you read?"

"N-nothing. I just read the first couple of lines. Why does Remus want you to keep a journal?" he asked, hoping Harry might open up to him.

"It's none of you business!"

"Of course it's my business! You're my godson! If something is going on I want to know!" He shouted, approaching the small boy in front of him.

Harry seemed to be shaken that he was even in his room. He had been angry before, but now his emerald green eyes revealed that he was more afraid right now than anything else. Sirius raised a hand to place it on his shoulder to calm him. Before he could even try to comfort him, Harry visibly flinched, apparently startled by the gesture.

Dodging his reach Harry yelled, "Nothing's going on! Leave me alone and get out of my room!"

"Harry-" he began using a gentler tone.

"Leave me alone Sirius!" he shouted continuing to back away.

"Fine!" Sirius yelled angrily. "I can tell when I'm not wanted. Maybe your precious Remus will come up and you two can talk about it…"

Harry opened his mouth to protest but then looked away. Sirius stormed out of the room and heard the door slam behind.

Remus met him at the bottom of the stairs. "Sirius? What's going on?"

"Harry's mad at me... I was snooping around his room…." he admitted as he crossed the room.

Remus eyes were wide in shock as he approached him. "You what? No wonder he was mad at you. What did you expect would happen?"

"What did I expect? I expected that things would go back to normal. I expected to be included in whatever is going on. I expected that my godson and I would have some sort of relationship. But you have managed to somehow fill that role and leave me in the dust!" Sirius yelled.

"Sirius, I explained this all before… Harry is having a hard time right now… He's just more comfortable with me," Remus tried to reason.

Sirius grabbed Remus by the shoulders and spat. "You keep saying that, but no one will tell me why!"

"He doesn't want you to know…" Remus said softly, looking into his eyes

"Know what?" he asked, searching the sad grey eyes before him.

"I can't say… I promised…"

Sirius sighed in disgust and threw up his hands in frustration. "Well that's fucking lovely. Something is wrong with Harry and he doesn't want me to know. He used to tell me everything. Doesn't he trust me?"

"He doesn't trust anybody now…"

"Why!" Sirius yelled. "What happened?"

Remus crossed his arms over his chest and looked to the ground. "Sirius, I won't break my promise to Harry."

"Fine!" he spat, marching over to the cabin door.

"Where are you going?" asked Remus, a tinge of worry in his voice.

"Out!"

"Out where?"

"Just out, okay?"

Sirius pushed open the screen door and walked outside with a heavy heart. He felt guilty about prying into his godson's life, but he didn't feel he had any other alternative. He hadn't meant to get caught, but he really did want to know what was going on with Harry now more than ever.

He could really use a good drink right about now, but he doubted Remus had anything stronger in the house than wine. He thought about apparating to a bar that he used to frequent, but he really didn't feel up to facing the real world yet.

He settled for walking around the lake again, having no other alternative at the time. The sun was high in the sky now, blazing down on top of him. Even in the shade of the trees he felt no relief. Sweat poured down his face and back.

He hated being in his own skin. He hated what he had become.

Realizing for the first time that he hadn't tried to transform since he was brought back from beyond the Veil, he decided to see if he still could. Concentrating with all his worth, he felt his body morph into his animagus form- a large black dog.

He barked excitedly and took off through the trees, feeling much cooler than before. His four legs stretched out farther and father as he continued to accelerate his pace. Running like this was such a liberating feeling.

Somehow his canine form felt less burdening on his soul. As a dog, his emotions were much more basic then the complex monstrosity of his own human psyche. For one brief moment in time he could forget that he was even a man.

When he had thoroughly tired himself out, he sauntered back to the coolness of the cabin. He didn't have the energy to change back into his human form, and enjoyed being a dog a little while longer.

He climbed the steps of the porch and found a shady spot where he could rest. Curling up in a little ball, he rested his head on his paws and fell fast asleep. Unfortunately, his rest was filled with horrific memories of his past yet again.

"Padfoot? Padfoot wake up!" a voice called. "Sirius wake up!"

His large black head snapped upwards and noticed that night had fallen. Unsure of who or what had awoken him from his slumber, he quickly rose to his feet. He smelled a human standing beside him and the hairs on the back of his neck rose. A low growl rumbled from his throat.

After the dreams he just experienced he had no idea where he was or who was beside him. Hoping to frighten whoever it was he snarled once again.

"Padfoot? It's me, Harry…" he said fearfully.

Looking more carefully through the darkness, he realized it was his godson that was backing away from him. He soon realized, like he did every time he went to sleep and woke up disoriented, where he was. He must have slept all afternoon for it was evening now and the sun was setting. He quickly changed back into his human form.

"Harry… I'm so sorry to growl at you like that. You startled me…" he tried to explain, his voice soft and reassuring. He noticed that Harry was no longer backing away from him now.

"I'm sorry. You were dreaming… at least I think you were… your paws were twitching and you were whimpering. I thought it might be a nightmare so I tried to wake you up," Harry confessed.

"Oh, well thanks, I guess," he said. There was an awkward few moments were neither one of them said anything. The buzzing of hundreds of insects filled the night sky. "Um… Harry… I'm sorry about earlier."

Harry looked at him and his eyes narrowed angrily. "Are you sorry you were snooping through my stuff or that you got caught."

Sirius let out a chuckle. "Both I guess."

Harry didn't find the humor in his joke.

"I just want to know what you and Remus are hiding from me. And don't say you're not because I know you are. Something has happened that you don't want to tell me…"

"Not now Sirius… not tonight…" Harry said sadly.

The look in his godson's eyes was one that Sirius wouldn't soon forget. Harry retreated back into the safety of the cabin, leaving Sirius alone on the porch once again.

Sirius was hurt that Harry didn't want to tell him something as important as what was bothering him. It must be something major for both Harry and Remus to be so quiet about it. He was determined to find out what was going on once and for all.

* * *

A/N: Well that was an angsty chapter! I hope you liked it. In case you're wondering, Sirius won't learn of Harry's past for another couple of chapters. I'm building up to something big. Please let me know what you thought of Sirius's POV in this chapter. It's the first time I have ever written from his perspective. Keep in mind everything he has gone through! 

**Many thanks to all my reviewers and readers! Don't forget to leave a review.**


	5. Crawling in the Dark

Okay, the line I use to divide each scene won't show up no matter how many times I have replaced this chapter. They've always worked in the past! Ugh! I hope the new scene dividers help make this chapter easier to read. Sorry everyone!

**Chapter 5- Crawling in the Dark**

Remus could feel the pull of the moon even during the daylight. It was already time for him to transform once again and he was feeling extremely fatigued, more so than usual. He was a little worried about leaving Harry behind with Sirius and wanted to check and make sure he was okay with the whole situation.

There was still an unbelievable amount of tension between the two, and Remus didn't even know where to begin to help them resolve all of their feelings. Things would probably be much better if Harry would only confess what had happened at the Dursleys, but he knew that the teen wasn't ready to do that yet.

Remus wearily climbed the stairs and stood out side his young ward's door. Rapping the door lightly with his knuckle, he said "Harry, it's me… can I come in? I want to talk to you before you leave."

"Yeah…" a voice replied from the other side, obviously recognizing the sound of Remus's voice.

Ever since Harry had found Sirius snooping around in his room, he had been much more guarded about his room. He was constantly checking all of his personal belongings to make sure that they were where he had left them, and Remus was worried it was becoming another obsession. Harry also checked and rechecked that his pensieve and journal were safely hidden away at all times.

Remus stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, hoping for a bit of privacy with Harry; something they really hadn't had since Sirius had come back into their lives. He then sat down beside Harry on the bed, who was currently poring through another defense book. His dedication for learning how to protect himself was relentless now that the battles were reaching closer and closer to home.

Harry looked up from his book and tilted his head to the side waiting for Remus to explain why he wanted to talk to him.

"Do you want to put any more memories in your pensieve before you leave for your lesson?" Remus asked carefully. Because Harry was underage still, he wasn't permitted to use magic to activate the pensieve. Remus knew Harry had a hard time asking for help, and he probably wouldn't say anything about it when he left for his Occlumency lesson with Snape this afternoon.

"No, I think all the memories that I want to keep from him are already in the pensieve. The rest I think I can deal with," Harry replied, closing his book and sitting back against the headboard.

"Well, pretty soon you'll be able to activate the pensieve all on your own… but until then I thought I would offer my help. Have you given any thought about what you want to do for your birthday?" Remus asked.

He hoped by asking Harry what he wanted to do that it would keep him from knowing what was really happening. He had already received an owl from Ron and Draco that morning explaining the surprise party, and he was grateful that the two of them had taken the initiative. Remus had kind of wanted to plan something himself, but with everything that had been going on he hadn't given the matter too much thought.

"I don't know. Nothing really. I'm still not used to even celebrating it." Harry seemed to contemplate his birthday further and added, "I would like to go and get my Apparition license though. I have been reading up on it all summer and I think I should be able to pass."

Remus sighed and said, "I think Sirius wants to take you alone. He's still dead set on taking you on this shopping spree."

"I know," said Harry, looking quiet upset about that notion. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the book in his lap.

Remus reached over and mussed up Harry's hair, causing the teen to grin slightly at the offense. "Give him a chance Harry. He's the same old Sirius that you've always known."

"Yeah? Well, why is he acting so funny around me? I can't make him out," Harry wondered.

"Well, it's probably because he feels like we're keeping things from him," said Remus, a knowing look on his face. "He feels the same way about you, by the way."

Harry was quiet after that, knowing that Remus was right about that.

"I will be leaving for Hogwarts as soon as you floo to headquarters. Are you going to be okay staying with Sirius for the night when you come back?" Remus asked.

"Actually, I was meaning to talk to you about that. I had kind of planned on staying the night there again like I did the last time you transformed. I'm going to be there any way for Occlumency. Can't I just spend the night? I know the Weasleys won't mind…please…," Harry begged.

"You're going to have to get along with Sirius sometime you know," he responded, almost harshly.

Harry realized that he hadn't exactly said no. "So can I?"

"I suppose it'll be alright," Remus sighed.

"Do you think Sirius will be mad?" Harry asked, a worried look crossing his face.

"He probably won't be happy about it," Remus admitted. Sirius seemed to be really trying to connect with Harry, and although his friend had never said anything, he was hoping to spend some time alone with Harry tonight.

"I'll just tell him that I'm going to study with Ron and Draco. He'll understand, right?" he asked hopefully.

Remus sighed in frustration. "More lies Harry?"

The small teen quickly became defensive and said, "It's not a lie. We might decide to study…"

"Do whatever you want Harry. You're old enough to make your own decisions. But remember, the sooner you tell him everything the better…" Remus said, rising from the bed.

"Why do I have to say anything to him at all?" Harry asked heatedly, jumping up to face him. "What does it even matter? It's all in the past now! I'm over it! Can't we just let it go?"

"You know better than to ask that question… you still have urges to cut and you know it. All of that may be in the past, but that doesn't mean it hasn't affected who you are. We can't keep having this discussion. Tell him Harry, before Sirius finds out another way…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harry asked in an irritated tone.

"Don't get upset. I'm just saying that it will be better coming from you. That's all," he responded.

Remus didn't want to tell Harry this, but he was worried about how Sirius would react if he found out about the abuse some other way. He had already tried snooping through the boy's room. What would have happened if he had had a chance to read more in the journal? Or even found his pensieve? There's no telling how Sirius would react.

"Fine…" Harry said despondently. "I'll just get my stuff together so I can stay the night." He grabbed his duffle bag from the closet and began to throw in pajamas, toiletries, and other things that he might need for the night.

"I'll see you downstairs in a little bit," Remus said, opening the door and stepping out into the hallway. Closing the door behind him again, he leaned up against the door's frame. His body was becoming increasingly sore and he dreaded the moment when the transformation finally took hold. He pushed away from the wall and made his way downstairs.

He found Sirius reading on one of the couches in front of the fireplace. He collapsed on the other couch tiredly and rubbed his aching neck.

"You're reading?" Remus asked in amusement. He had never known Sirius to pick up a book for leisure, but then again they were apart for nearly fifteen years and then again for another year. People's tastes can change. Sirius made a noise in his throat to indicate that he was in fact reading and apparently interested in whatever the book had to say.

They sat in silence for a few seconds until Sirius finally looked up from his book to notice Remus's condition. "How are you my old friend?" he asked.

"Not well…" Remus mumbled. "This never gets any easier."

"I can't imagine that it would. When do you leave for Hogwarts?" Sirius asked, remembering what his friend had told him about being locked in the dungeons when he changed to his werewolf form.

"As soon as Harry leaves for your old place. He has an Occlumency lesson with Snape," Remus explained.

"Why does he still have to learn Occlumency from that greasy git? He didn't learn a damn thing from him last year…" Sirius said. During his fifth year Harry had spoken to him a few times about how bad things were between him and Snape.

"Two years ago," Remus corrected, realizing Sirius had confused the timeline yet again.

"Huh?"

"Harry took lessons from Snape during his fifth year. He didn't have to last year."

"Oh. That's right. Why didn't he have to last year?" Sirius asked, marking the page in the book and placing it on the coffee table.

"Because the connection between him and Voldemort was severed when he was linked to you in Limbo. A lot went on last year, and since Voldemort could no longer use the link to control Harry, we kind of overlooked the fact that he wasn't taking lessons in Occlumency anymore."

"Oh… but… what's with the lessons now?" Sirius asked curiously. Remus sometimes forgot how little Sirius actually knew about everything.

"When Harry brought you back from beyond the Veil, the connection with Voldemort was re-established," he explained, propping his head up on his hand and resting his elbow on the arm of the couch.

"I didn't know that. Is he having visions again?" Sirius asked worriedly.

"Yeah, almost every night for a while there. Voldemort has been relentless in his strikes since the Battle at Dartmoor, and his numbers continue to grow. But because of Harry visions, we've been able to prevent a lot of deaths. Things seem to have quieted down for some reason since you've gotten here."

"Are you still working for the Order?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah. I mainly helped ensure the safety of the school when I was teaching, and I did fight at Dartmoor, which you know is where Peter was captured." Sirius nodded. "But because Harry is staying with me this summer, I haven't been called upon to help the Order fight in any of the more recent battles. Dumbledore wants to make sure he's protected at all times. And I haven't attended any of the meetings lately, either."

"Why not?"

"Honestly?" Remus asked, feeling too tired to put up a fight.

"Yes!"

"Because I was watching over you…"

"What? I don't need a babysitter! And I certainly won't let you use me as an excuse for not doing your duty for the Order!" Sirius shouted.

Remus winced at his sharp tone, feeling a headache already forming. "It's not an excuse Sirius. None of us knew how you would react once you were brought here from St. Mungo's. Dumbledore gave me some time off to make sure you and Harry were okay."

"I'm not crazy! Okay? I'm just dealing with some stuff!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I know that Siri… you said you wanted the truth…" Remus said gently.

"I guess you're right. Sorry…" he replied. "Well, now that you know that I'm not loony or anything, are you going to start getting more involved with the Order again?"

"I suppose we both should…" Remus replied, knowing that was what Sirius wanted to hear- that he was still needed.

"Sounds like a plan," he mumbled. "When does Harry get back tonight?"

"He doesn't… he's going to spend the night with his friends…" Remus said, yawning loudly.

Sirius looked down and was apparently upset. "Oh… oh, I see… I just thought… never mind…"

"You can come keep me company if you like. I miss hanging out with my old friend Padfoot," Remus suggested. "We could probably even go to the Shrieking Shack again."

Sirius smiled sadly and said, "Thanks, but if it's all the same to you, I think I would like to hang out here alone tonight. I can't remember the last time I've been alone with my thoughts."

"Are you sure?" Remus asked worriedly. "I could ask Harry to stay."

"No, it's alright. I'll be fine," he insisted.

"If you're sure..." Sirius nodded.

Just then Harry came down the stairs with his bag slung over his shoulder. The two men rose to greet him.

"All set?" asked Remus.

"Yup. Are you going to be okay?" Harry asked worriedly. Even after all the time they had spent together this year, he still wasn't used to the fact that his guardian had to endure painful transformations every month.

"I'll be fine, Harry. I've done this a few times before," Remus replied, placing a hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

"I know… I just worry…" he said. Glancing up at Sirius he asked, "Did Remus tell you I'm staying with the Weasleys' tonight?"

"Yeah, he did," Sirius replied.

"Okay. I guess I should be leaving now," said Harry, turning towards the fireplace.

"Hey Harry," said Sirius.

"Yeah?" Harry replied, turning to face his godfather once more.

"Don't let Snivellus get to you, alright? And let me know if he gives you a hard time."

Apparently that was the right thing to say, because Harry's face lit up at seeing a glimpse of the Sirius he knew once again. He seemed almost reluctant to leave now.

"I'll be alright. He's not so bad anymore, but thanks. I'll see you in the morning."

Harry stepped into the fireplace, grabbed a handful of powder from Sirius, and said his destination as he tossed the powder down. In a flash of green light he was soon gone.

"He's really a good kid, isn't he Remus?" Sirius asked, a fondness in his voice.

"Yes he is," Remus replied. He wanted to add, _"Despite everything he has been through,"_ but decided against it.

"Take care Moony," Sirius said, holding the pot of floo powder out to him.

"I will Padfoot." He followed Harry into the fireplace. He threw down the powder and said "HOGWARTS!"

……………………………..

Harry desperately tried to push Snape from his mind and block the memories that they were both now witnessing, but he was failing horribly. He couldn't even concentrate enough to disarm the professor with a simple spell.

"_He probably tried to commit suicide because he couldn't handle the fame. Everyone is always going on about the Boy-Who-Lived!"_

"_No, I think it was because he is too scared to face He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named…"_

"_Well, wouldn't you?"_

"_Of course, but it's not my job to defeat You-Know-Who, now is it?"_

Snape pulled back and Harry quickly regained his bearings. That had been a memory of some of this fellow students at Hogwarts gossiping about the reasons he had slit his wrists.

They were currently standing in Sirius's old room at Number 12 Grimmauld Place which was now empty. His things had been taken to Villa de Luna when he was brought home. It was easier to hold lessons in here because they could have a bit more privacy than if they were in the living room and they could practice more easily in the open space.

"Why aren't you even trying?" Snape growled furiously. "That was pathetic!"

"I am, _sir_!" Harry protested. They stared at one another defiantly waiting for the other to make the next move.

Harry was becoming increasingly frustrated with his lessons with Snape. Although the man no longer made crude remarks about him or his father, he still wasn't very forthcoming about how he was actually supposed to occlude his mind from an attack.

The visions and pain in his scar were becoming much more frequent, and he was worried that Voldemort might to try to possess him yet again. Every time he felt his scar twinge, Harry was afraid of what might happen. Harry was grateful that he hadn't had a vision for a few nights. But he was also concerned that this might be the quiet before the storm.

Harry knew that if he continued to raise his voice it would only infuriate Snape further. He knew that from experience with his uncle. They may have come a long way from how they used to treat one another, especially with Harry's presence in Draco's life, but that didn't mean there still wasn't some tension between them. He remembered the old saying that _"you'll catch more flies with honey then vinegar,"_ and decided to change tactics.

Taking a steadying breath, he calmly said, "I am trying really hard, but this isn't as easy for me as it is you. Maybe we can try a different approach."

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and muttered, "What do you suggest?"

"I don't know…" Harry said quietly, hoping that Snape, being the only teacher here, would know of an alternative way for Harry to learn this important skill.

After much silent deliberation, Snape finally said, "Sit down." He gracefully stooped to the floor and sat down cross legged. He sat up tall so that his back was straight and rolled his head on his shoulders a few times to get out the kinks. He then snapped both wrists out to the side to adjust the billowing sleeves of his robe and then placed his arms so that they rested on his knee. His pale hands hung towards the floor.

"Huh? What?" asked Harry, confused by Snape's relaxed posture.

"I know you have a firm grasp of the English language, Potter. Sit down," he said again.

Harry sat uncertainly down on the floor and sat facing his professor in the same cross legged position.

"Do you know how to meditate?" Snape asked, his obsidian eyes studying Harry carefully.

"Um no…" Harry said quietly. Seeing the disappointed look on Snape's face he added, "But I do know some yogic deep breathing techniques. Remus taught me how to breathe deep to calm me down when I get…" He stopped there not really willing to divulge any more information.

"Good," Snape said. "We'll begin there. Close your eyes and begin the deep breathing. Try to quiet the mind."

Harry complied, taking long steady inhalations and exhalations. He focused on the air coming in and out of his lungs and the life force that came with it. After several minutes of breathing, Harry was almost completely unaware of Snape's presence because the man hadn't said anything in a long while.

Harry almost startled when he heard his professor's baritone voice break the silence. "Now imagine a place where you feel completely safe… that brings you happy memories… focus on that for a while…"

Harry wasn't sure that he even had such a place. The Dursleys' house was out of the question. Hogwarts and the Burrow were both somewhat happy places for Harry, but he didn't know if he ever felt completely safe there. He and his friends had been attacked at both locations in some form or another. And Grimmauld Place could never be considered a happy place.

He was happy with Draco, but he wasn't a place…

Slowly smiling Harry realized that he did have a happy place… his home… Villa de Luna… with Remus… and Sirius now. He hadn't lived there very long but it had felt more like a home than he had ever had in his entire life. He concentrated on the features of the cabin and the woods surrounding it. He then pictured the beautiful Silver Lake and the many memories it now held.

"Do you have an image in your mind that you can easily come back to?" Snape asked. Harry nodded. "No matter what happens I want you to force yourself back to that place. Picture it clearly in your head and draw strength from it. Do you understand?" Harry nodded again, making sure not to open his eyes.

Several minutes later, as Harry continued to breathe slowly and picture his happy place he had forgotten completely where he actually was. He wasn't expecting Snape to probe his mind again until it actually happened.

"Legilimens!" Snape yelled.

Immediately the scene in his mind changed into a horrible memory. Harry had taken the incident with Draco on New Year's and placed it in the pensieve long ago, but had forgotten about what had taken place in the corridor immediately afterward.

_Ron made his way back over to where Harry was standing against the wall gripping his stomach tightly with his arms. He was still taking shallow breaths and seemed to be staring at Draco's body oddly. His slight form trembled from his recent experience and the chilled air in the corridor. Ron had just roughed Draco up for what he had done to Harry and left him unconscious on the stone floor._

"_Are you alright, Harry?" asked Ron touching Harry's shoulder gently. _

_The small boy flinched at the touch, but looked up into his friend's face and shook his head. This whole situation felt like a complete nightmare. Just when everything seemed like it was all falling into place, life threw another curve ball at him. _

"_Ron you shouldn't have…." Harry tried to protest, but Ron didn't seem to want to listen to him. "Ron…."_

"_Harry, he deserved it. He beat you up and probably would have done more if you hadn't gotten away…." Ron said softly. Harry looked at his friend horrified. Usually Ron wasn't so intuitive, but he seemed to be able to assess what happened fairly accurately._

Not wanting to see anything else, Harry pushed the image from his mind and focused back on the cabin. Relieved to see his home once again he gathered strength and raised his wand. "Expelliarmus!"

The spell ended and Harry opened his eyes to find Snape lying flat on his back now and his wand in Harry's other hand. The professor was unmoving and Harry feared he may have knocked the man out.

"Professor?" he called. He got up and kneeled now beside the Potions Master.

Snape opened his eyes and rolled to his side and then got to his knees. Grabbing his wand back from Harry, he stood up, brushing the hair out of his face and dusted off his robes. The attempt to look more dignified couldn't disguise the fact that he now seemed very disoriented. Harry stood up beside him and knew better than to ask if he was alright.

"That was satisfactory, Harry. See to it that you focus on that image every night before bed and then try to clear your mind completely," Snape said, sounding tired.

"Are we done?" Harry asked. This was the first time he had ever felt truly successful and he wanted to have another go at Occlumency.

"For now. You did… well," said Snape, seeming hesitant to actually pay Harry a compliment. He strode out of the room leaving Harry thunderstruck.

Harry knew that happy memories could be called upon to form a patronus but he never knew that they could be used for other spells. Harry felt relieved that he had been able to push Snape out of his mind. Not only had he actually accomplished something, but Snape had actually rewarded him with a job well done. Harry did a celebratory jump in the air and decided to go find Draco to tell him the good news.

……………………………..

Sirius wasn't sure if his presence would be welcome or not yet in the Leaky Cauldron or Diagon Alley, and he didn't exactly want to risk being seen this evening. So he apparated to a shady part of London that he used to haunt as a young man, before he was framed for murder by one of his own friends. There was a liquor store there that he remembered fondly.

He tucked his wand in his sleeve and began walking down one of the main streets, searching for the store. He was grateful to have a wand again, but somewhat saddened that he had lost his original when he fell through the Veil. The Ministry had presented him with a new one when he was released from the hospital in condolence for wrongfully imprisoning him for so many years. Ollivander had tried his best to replace his old wand with a near identical one, but could only find a wand of the same wood and length. The core was completely different, and Sirius found that it just wasn't the same.

Seeing his destination he walked quickly to the store, making sure to watch his back and check his surroundings thoroughly. He knew from experience that this was not the sort of place that you could let your guard down. The outside of the small liquor store was just as he remembered, the green paint gradually peeling to reveal the cement block beneath it, and graffiti decorating the back alley.

He pushed the glass door open and found that the interior had changed completely. The polished tile floors and bright fluorescent lighting stood in sharp contrast to the exteriors dilapidated appearance. It seemed that in the last sixteen years the owners had scraped enough money together to give the interior a face lift.

He nodded to the man behind the cash register and began to navigate down the many aisles in search of his favorite drink.

He found what he was looking for; the Muggle equivalent to Ogden's Old Firewhisky, only much stronger. 100 proof! Having no Muggle money of his own and not willing to risk going to Gringott's yet, Sirius had raided the cabin until he found a wad of bills in Remus's bottom dresser drawer. Sirius had felt really guilty about taking it, but swore to himself that he would replace what he had taken as soon as possible.

After purchasing his drink of choice, he walked the considerable distance back to a park he had Apparated to. Along the way he passed a gang of shady looking youths hanging out in an dark alley, who looked like they would sooner knife you than say hello. They looked up at Sirius as he passed by, but seeing that he wasn't a threat, continued about their business. He could only assume they were into drug dealing of some sort.

The park was in a drastic state of disrepair; it housed climbing equipment that were rusted through and bent at odd angles. Even the swings themselves were missing from the swing set. It certainly didn't look like this years ago. He couldn't imagine any child ever coming to play here and wondered why this part of town had not cared enough to keep the park equipment in safe working condition.

Clutching the brown paper bag to his chest he looked around carefully before apparating back to the woods near the cabin.

He hadn't had a drink in he couldn't remember how long and tonight seemed like the perfect opportunity with Harry and Remus out of the way. And it wasn't like he was an alcoholic or anything… he just needed a stiff drink. Maybe if he was sloshed enough tonight he would actually get a decent night's sleep.

"Lumos," he said, illuminating the tip of his wand so that he could see in the dark. He quickly made his way back to the cabin, taking care not to trip and stumble on the roots sticking out of the ground. The night air was filled with the sounds of thousands of crickets and frogs called to one another from their lily pads at the edge of the small lake. Sirius took no notice though and strode through the woods purposefully. Soon he was climbing the porch steps of Villa de Luna.

He sat down on one of the couches in the cabin and took a sip of whiskey straight from the bottle. It seemed stupid to go and get a glass seeing that he was the only one drinking it. The whiskey burned his throat slightly and made his eyes water, but he didn't care. A few sips later he probably wouldn't even know the difference.

He turned on the television and began flipping though the channels looking for something to watch to take his mind off of things. No matter what program he turned to, his mind couldn't be distracted from his thoughts. In the end he found himself watching a movie as depressing as he felt- _Leaving Las Vegas._

Sometimes he felt like he was crawling in the dark. He scrambled about looking for answers, but found nothing in return. Why did he feel like he was finally back to normal, but everyone else was different? What was going on with Harry? What was his godson trying to keep from him?

He slowly sipped his whiskey and thought about different ways to reach out to him. Sirius hoped that with the party the boys had planned for him, and taking him to get his Apparition license and then going on a shopping spree that they could reconnect.

A warmth was building in his chest and Sirius could feel the effects of the alcohol on his system. Feeling relaxed for the first time in two months he allowed his body to drift off to sleep, ignoring the noise from the telly.

……………………………..

"C'mon Weasley, you can do better than that!" Draco yelled.

"Shut up Malfoy, I don't exactly see you dueling like a master!" Ron shouted back. "STUPEFY!"

"_PROTEGO!" _ Draco shouted, shielding himself from the spell. "You gotta put a little more… _oomph_… into your spells."

"I'll show you _oomph_!" Ron lifted his wand to cast another curse, but found that he wasn't quick enough.

"_INCARCEROUS!" _ Draco shouted, aiming his wand at Ron. Ropes shot out of it and wrapped around Ron's body before he could get out of the way. "Finite Incantatem," he then said, releasing the red head before he got too angry.

Harry and Ginny were watching from the couch, unable to join in. They had both been trying to study some more defensive spells, but found that watching the two boys duel was much more fun.

Draco and Ron circled around each other, gripping their wands, waiting for the other to make his move.

Ron quickly aimed his wand and shouted, "_IMPEDIAMENTA!_" Draco dodged out of the way in time, but failed to do so again when Ron fired the spell once more.

His body began to slow down considerably, but he didn't stop moving. He looked like he was trying to run in slow motion. It was quite comical and Harry and Ginny were hysterical with laughter. Ron, laughing with them, soon lifted the curse.

"You think that's funny?" Draco asked. "How about this? _RICTUSEMPRA!_"

Ron double over laughing manically as the spell began tickling him mercilessly. "Oh Merlin…hee-hee… make it stop… no… ah… ha-ha-ha…" Ron fell to the ground and curled into a ball giggling. Harry and Ginny continued to laugh at them in amusement.

"Nope. I told you I would make you pay the next time we dueled," said Draco, looking quite smug. He turned around to address the pair on the couch, not expecting Ron to be able to fire off another spell in his distress.

"_TARANTALLEGRA!_" Ron yelled, having found a brief second to utter the curse before the tickling consumed him again.

Draco's eyes opened wide as the dancing curse hit him in the back. Suddenly his legs began to shoot out in all different directions and his hips began to sway. Harry and Ginny busted out laughing again, tears leaking from the corner of their eyes they were laughing so hard. Harry was slapping his knee as he guffawed, watching Ron squirm and Draco doing something that looked like the hula.

Ginny's eyes were bright with merriment. "Oh stop… I'm going to pee my pants!" she pleaded. All of a sudden she jumped up from the couch and ran towards the bathroom, leaving Harry laughing all alone.

Taking a few breaths to calm down, Harry said, "Alright, alright… someone end the spells."

The both struggled to aim their wands at each other, but both managed to get a "finite" out before they exhausted themselves. Their bodies slumped in relief and each staggered to a nearby chair.

"Thanks a lot," Ron muttered. "My stomach muscles hurt from laughing so hard."

"No problem," Draco said smiling with mirth.

Ginny soon joined them, her face bright red.

"Did you make it in time?" Harry asked jokingly.

"Yes!" said Ginny, playfully pushing him. They began laughing again at how funny the situation had been, but Harry found he couldn't laugh much more. One important thought had found its way into his brain and he couldn't seem to let go of it.

"Why the long face?" asked Draco, crossing the room and sitting beside Harry.

"Well, it's just that the spells you are both using while you duel aren't really realistic. That isn't how you would battle against a Death Eater," he tried to explain.

"We know that," said Ron. "We were just goofing around. Blowing off some steam, you know?"

"Yes, I do know, but how many times have you actually tried using some defense spells?"

Draco looked at Ron and then back at him. "To be honest, Harry. We haven't at all. Most of the spells we have read about are quite dangerous and I don't think either one of us is willing to test them on each other. Someone could get hurt…"

"Then what is the point of memorizing all these spells if we can't ever practice them?" Harry asked. "How will we ever stand a chance in battle?"

No one seemed to be able to answer that question, and it seems as if Harry had brought up a valid point.

"How do Aurors practice their spells during their training?" Draco suddenly asked.

"On each other," Ron answered. "It's one of the hazards of the profession."

Draco looked disappointed, thinking that he had figured something out. "There's got to be another way!"

"Actually, I think there is… I read about a magical dummy that would react the way that a human would when struck by a spell," said Harry.

"Really? I've never heard of that," said Ginny. "How come they never use this magic dummy in DADA or in Auror training?"

"I don't know. Maybe because they want the Aurors to have to also react to spells being fired at them. And it's difficult to conjure so it's not really useful to DADA students. The professor would always have to create them. Can you imagine trying to conjure a dummy for every student in school to practice with?" Harry explained. "I think I could do it… but… ugh! I can't do magic yet. Why can't I be seventeen already?"

"You will be soon enough, babe," said Draco, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Maybe one of us could do it…" Ron suggested. "Can you explain how to do it?"

"No, it's way too hard to explain. I'd have to show you the spell in one of the books I found in Remus's library. And unfortunately I left that book at home, figuring the spells in there would be too complicated to study tonight."

"Do you think maybe you could go get it?" asked Draco. "It would only mean you flooing there and back. And I kind of like the idea of practicing something more than what we have learned in sixth year."

"Yeah, I guess I could…" Harry said reluctantly.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Draco asked.

Harry didn't want to appear weak in front of them, even though he was a bit worried about being with Sirius alone. He was afraid that his godfather might try to corner him looking for answers. "No that's alright. I'll be right back."

He walked over to the fireplace and grabbed a handful of floo powder and said, "Villa de Luna."

The green flames quickly diminished and Harry found himself back in the cabin. To his surprise, Sirius was passed out on the couch in front of the telly. Harry noticed the half empty whiskey bottle on the coffee table, and felt his heartbeat quicken slightly.

He had known Sirius to drink in the past, but seeing his Uncle's favorite whiskey on the table beside him filled him with a sense of fear. Not wishing to wake his godfather up in his condition, he quietly tip-toed up to his room, where he had left the book. After retrieving it, he silently made his way back to the fireplace. He thought he had succeeded until he accidentally ran into the corner of a table beside the fireplace.

The noise was loud enough to wake Sirius from his stupor. He opened one pale blue eye to find Harry standing in front of the fireplace. Opening both eyes now, he asked, "Where you going?"

Harry couldn't help but notice how much his speech was slightly slurred. "Back to… um… headquarters. We're studying defense spells and I forgot my book," Harry said, holding it up to for Sirius to see. He was glad that he didn't have to lie to him.

"Oh… I was kinda surprised that you didn't wan to come back tonight after your lesson..."

"S-sorry about that," Harry said, feeling extremely guilty. "I promised them we would study defense together."

"This for school?" asked Sirius, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"No… we're trying to learn how to protect ourselves… you know, in case of an attack by Voldemort…" he replied, feeling a bit calmer now.

"Oh…Harry, I hate to ask this, but it's really been bugging me. What's wrong with me? Ever since I came back you have been acting differently around me. Have I done something wrong? Why don't you like me being around any more?" Sirius asked. He looked like he was trying to compose himself in a more serious manner.

"I do like you Sirius," Harry insisted. He knew he had been acting differently around Sirius, but he hoped his godfather hadn't noticed. He should have known that Sirius would be more perceptive than that. Harry couldn't even explain why he had been so different. It kind of felt like if he avoided Sirius then he could avoid the truth, something he was desperately trying to forget.

"You do? You really don't act like it. I feel like I have the plague or something the way you avoid me…" he said sadly. "You know I love you, right kiddo?"

Harry felt his chest fill with emotion. He still wasn't used to people expressing affection towards him and it got to him every time. "Yeah…" Harry said. "I love you too…"

"Then why can't you tell me what's going on with you, Harry? Don't you trust me?" Sirius asked angrily. He got to his feet and stepped closer towards his godson.

Harry could smell the whiskey heavy on his breath and his stomach turned in revulsion. Although most of his experiences with Vernon had been placed in his pensieve, the smell of the whiskey brought back feelings of fear, loneliness, and sadness. Harry finally understood why they said that smell was so strongly connected to memory. He began to tremble slightly with fear and knew he had to get out of here before he lost it completely.

"What is it? What's wrong Harry?" Sirius asked, reaching his arm out to him. His tone of voice was far from comforting and Harry began to wonder if his godfather would hurt him if he didn't tell him something. In his heart he knew that wasn't true, but life conditioned him to react to these sorts of situations in a certain way- to flee.

Harry dodged Sirius's arm and grabbed a handful of floo powder. "Listen, can we talk about this another time? My friends are waiting for me…" he explained, stepping into the fireplace.

"There's always going to be a reason isn't there, Harry? What do I have to do to earn your trust again?" Sirius asked, slamming his fist into the brick of the fireplace to make his point. The motion caused him to lose his balance and he had to steady himself by placing both hands behind him on the arm of the couch.

Seeing his opportunity, Harry said, "Sorry… I gotta go." He threw down the powder and yelled his destination. Sirius's sad face disappeared before him and he soon found himself stumbling out in the living room at Grimmauld Place.

"There you are," said Ginny, "What took so long?"

"I couldn't find the book at first," Harry lied, sitting down beside Ron and Draco.

"You okay?" asked Draco, upon seeing the look on Harry's face. He knew him too well.

"Yeah. Just dizzy from flooing. You know how I hate it," Harry explained. Draco seemed to accept that as an answer.

"Hey, I gotta question," Ron asked. "Does the book say anything about conjuring the dummy to look like specific person?"

"I think you can, why?" asked Harry.

"Because there is a particular greasy Potions Master that I would love to take my frustrations out on!" Ron said, laughing at his own cleverness. He pointed his wand a nothing in particular and made a jabbing motion to illustrate a hex he liked to use on Snape.

"Hey! That's _my_ godfather!" Draco protested.

"Okay, okay… you can get some shots in too," Ron sarcastically.

"That's not what I meant…"

Harry listened to his boyfriend and best friend squabble some more, grateful that he was able to steer clear of another confrontation with Sirius. It was getting harder and harder to avoid him, and Harry knew that Sirius truly didn't deserve how he was treating him. He was beginning to reconsider telling him at least a few things, hoping that it might make the situation better.

Unfortunately, Sirius was soon going to find out everything all at once whether Harry liked it or not.

……………………………..

A/N: This chapter's title is taken from the song _Crawling In The Dark_ by Hoobastank. Sometimes I will include the lyrics so my readers can also get a feel for my inspiration, but I decided not to this time because I don't know if you all find it annoying or not.

A/N2: Okay, don't flame me for the drinking thing. Sirius is not an alcoholic, he just needed to relax and it is something many adults do. And it's not like he hurt Harry. I rarely go to the bar but once in a while I feel the need for a glass of wine after work. It helps calm my nerves.

A/N3: I'm full of author notes today. I just wanted to let you know that Harry's birthday is the next chapter. Expect the dramatic revelation of Harry's secrets in the chapters following that one.

**Many thanks to all my reviewers! And a thousand thanks to my beta Drae, who has to put up with editing two amazingly long stories at once!**


	6. Birthday Surprises

A/N: Sorry for the long delay. I've been super busy lately, and I barely have time to write anymore. Don't worry, I'm not giving up. This story will be finished no matter how long it takes me. This chapter was also incredibly difficult for me to write as well. And it wasn't because of writer's block… it's just there was so much I wanted to happen, the scenes were a bit complex to write because I had to focus on so many characters at once, and I had to pay attention to details in OoTP and mini sub-plots I brought up in my earlier stories… I found it somewhat overwhelming with the little time I have to write. I can't make any promises of when the next chapter will be out. But I will do my best.

Let me know how you think this chapter turned out. I have mixed emotions about it. As always my muse got a little carried away once I did have time to write and I think I went a little overboard with the birthday thing. I hope you like this super long chapter.

**Chapter 6- Birthday Surprises**

"Do I have to go?" Harry asked Remus in a whiny tone. The small teen was currently lounging on the couch with his head hanging off the edge. It was bent at such an odd angle that it was practically upside down as he watched the telly.

"Yes, you have to go…" Remus replied tiredly. As usual he was extremely lethargic after his recent transformation, but he was trying to put on a big show that he was really okay. Harry could tell that he still felt pretty ill, but he knew better than to press his guardian on the issue. Remus preferred to deal with his curse privately and didn't like Harry knowing too many of the details about what happened to him both physically and mentally when he took his werewolf form.

"But it's my birthday… Why do I have to go see Snape of all people on my birthday?" Harry asked, flipping through the channels to see what else was on.

"Because Occlumency is important for you to learn… and Snape is really busy and it's the only time he will have to see you until next week…" Remus explained.

"But still…" Harry groaned, sitting up so that he could view the world again normally. His head felt really funny as all the blood rushed back out of it and a dizzy sensation overcame him from sitting in that position for so long. He thought he might have felt a twinge in his scar as well, but it went away as fast as it had come. Harry figured he must be imagining things.

"Listen Harry… go and get it over with and then Remus and I will take you out for a birthday dinner. How does that sound?" Sirius asked. His godfather was sitting beside Remus on the other couch, looking quite bored at the moment.

"Fine, I guess…" Harry said softly. To be honest, he really would rather spend time with Draco and his friends on his birthday, but he wasn't about to complain. He had never really had any family before and he wasn't about to scoff at their attempt at a familial celebration.

Harry had thought for sure that things would be awkward between him and Sirius after finding him drunk that evening, but things had been much more amicable lately. Sirius had stopped pestering him about everything, and Harry did his best to treat Sirius the same way he would Remus. They both had seemed to have forgotten the alcohol induced confrontation. They either were both too embarrassed over their actions to bring it up or too confused about it in the first place. In either case they both seemed content to forget that it had even happened.

All in all, his birthday wasn't much different than any other day so far. Somehow he was expecting more this year and he felt guilty about it. He had been allowed to sleep in late instead of going for his morning swim, and had a nice brunch out on the porch with Sirius and Remus. The rest of the afternoon he had decided to spend on the couch watching the telly, something he rarely did, just for the sake of feeling like a normal kid.

He had received quite a few owls this morning wishing him a Happy Birthday, but no gifts. All of his friends insisted on being able to see him open his presents on his birthday, so they were all waiting until they saw him next.

Earlier, he had tried out a few spells to pass the time, seeing that he was of age now, but found that casting them didn't feel all that much different than from when he was in school. He only hoped that his birthday dinner would be a little more eventful. Harry was getting down right bored now, and the notion of going to see Snape in a little while wasn't all that appealing. Maybe he could steal a moment or two with Draco before he had to go to dinner.

"Where do you feel like going to eat? In the mood for anything?" Sirius asked, propping his feet up on the coffee table. Remus gave him an odd look, but didn't say anything.

"Er… I'm not sure. Whatever you think…" Harry responded distractedly as he watched TV. Other than Hogsmeade, he couldn't remember ever going to a restaurant before. The Dursleys certainly never would have taken him and he never really had any other opportunities. Though, Mrs. Figg might have taken him for fast food a couple of times when he was much younger. Hagrid had taken him for a hamburger at the train station when they went shopping for his school things before first year, but he certainly couldn't suggest going there.

"It's not my birthday… I can't decide…" Sirius said with a smile. It was strange to see Sirius smile. It wasn't something he did very much anymore and Harry couldn't help but feel happy to see the expression on his face.

Harry wanted tonight to be special, not only because it was his birthday, but because things seemed a little better with Sirius. He was starting to think he might actually be able to tell Sirius some things now that he was feeling more comfortable around him. Unfortunately, Harry had truly no idea where they should go, and he didn't want to suggest anything that was expensive. He had no idea how things were priced, having never really set foot in any type of Muggle food establishment. "Well, it doesn't really matter to me. Anything's fine I guess…"

Sirius clapped his hands together, his pale blue eyes shining with excitement, and exclaimed, "Great! Sushi it is!"

"Sushi… that weird raw fish stuff?… ugh… I don't know about all that…" Harry said making a face. He had no idea Sirius was fond of such an odd delicacy.

"He's just kidding, Harry…" Remus said tiredly. He gave Sirius a stern look, but his friend simply ignored him.

"No I'm not," Sirius insisted. "I love sushi… haven't had the stuff in… fifteen-"

"Sixteen," Remus corrected.

"-sixteen years."

"Um… I don't know. Maybe we could go to an Italian restaurant instead…" Harry suggested, hoping this was all some big joke.

"Aw… you're no fun Harry. Where's your sense of adventure? Try something new! You might like sushi…" said Sirius playfully.

"Oh, alright… if that's what you want," Harry finally relented, hoping to please his godfather. He was trying really hard to get along with the man, and if it meant eating some weird food to make him happy, then Harry was willing to give it a try. Seeing the strange look on Sirius's face, Harry realized too late that his godfather had been only teasing about the sushi thing.

Sirius tried to conceal his laughter but was failing horribly. He shot a look at his old friend, who had a knowing smile on his face. "Moony, he actually thinks I'm serious?"

"You are Sirius," Remus and Harry both responded, rolling their eyes at the old joke. They all broke into laughter over the stupid joke, but no one seemed to care. It felt good to laugh, and it appeared as if the three of them were beginning to bond again.

* * *

Upon seeing his girlfriend exit the fireplace, Ron opened his arms wide and Hermione rushed into them. He gave her a bone crushing squeeze and twirled her around excitedly. She looked really pretty with her curls all piled on top of her head. She wore a pair of low riding jeans and a flattering red, three-quarter length shirt. 

"Wow, Mione, you look great!" he exclaimed.

"So do you," Hermione replied, sizing up him up. Even though his emerald green shirt was a little tight on his slightly muscular frame, it was also rather flattering. It hugged him in the right places, and was loose in others. Ginny had told him that he looked stylish and had even helped him gel his hair in a messy do.

"I've missed you," Ron said kissing her affectionately on the lips.

"We just saw each other a few days ago!" she said laughing.

"I know, but a guy can still miss his girl, can't he?" he asked sweetly.

Hermione nodded. "I suppose so… Hey, everything looks great," she said as she looked around the room, which had been decorated for the party. All the furniture in the living room had been pushed back against the walls and two large tables were set up. One with food and the other with Harry's presents. A large Muggle stereo, donated for the evening by Tonks, sat in one corner of the room waiting for the party to get started.

Elmer, the magical test dummy they had created for practicing their defense spells, sat propped up in a chair in the corner of the room. There had been much discussion about what the dummy should look like when they had created it. Ron still insisted that it should look like Snape and Draco thought it should look like a Death Eater, complete with the dark robes and white mask. That image was a little too scary, so in the end Harry suggested that it look like a crash test dummy that Muggle engineers use to test how cars and their passengers react in accidents; that way no one would be offended by it.

Poor little Jinx was terrified of Elmer and had been avoiding the living room, where he was kept, since his creation. It was probably a good thing that she was off in some other part of the house tonight with so many people coming. Jinx tended to get underfoot and probably would have been stepped on before the night was over.

Ginny, Ron, and Draco had had no idea what he was talking about so he had to draw a picture so that Draco would know what it should look like when he cast the spell. His drawing came out better than expected and Draco was able to create their test dummy after only a few tries. Elmer looked remarkably like the crash test dummies. The likeness was uncanny.

"Is this Elmer?" Hermione asked Ron, pointing to the large inanimate body sitting in the corner. She had not yet seen the dummy, but had been really excited about it when he wrote her to tell her what they had done.

"Yup," Ron replied excitedly. "I decorated him myself." Elmer was currently wearing a pair of Muggle khaki shorts and a Hawaiian shirt that Ron and transfigured from some old robes. And he was downright festive with his bright pink lei around his neck and a purple cone shaped party hat on his head.

The room was brightly decorated as well. Ron, Draco, and Ginny had been busy all morning hanging up streamers and blowing up balloons. The job went much easier than expected with two of them being able to use magic.

There was, however, much arguing over what colors they should use to decorate. Ron insisted they should use red and gold, since Harry was a Gryffindor, but Draco insisted that Harry secretly liked green and silver better because they matched his eyes. In the end, Ron's colors won because Ginny- being a fellow Gryffindor and his little sister- had sided with him. In defiance Draco had kept randomly changing the balloons back to silver and green. Ron had tried to keep up with his antics, but as of a right now two green balloons still remained. Hermione eye them quizzically and then looked back at Ron.

"Don't ask…" he said. She smiled, seemingly figuring out what had happened.

"Where is everyone else?" she asked. Ron didn't have to ask who she meant, seeing that it had been her suggestion to invite the others. Besides his family and several members of the Order, nine other people would be joining them this evening. It was going to be a quite a party.

"They should be here any minute. Snape is meeting them at the Leaky Cauldron and then using a portkey Dumbledore made to get here," Ron replied.

"Why not just floo them all here?" Hermione asked curiously, placing a stray tendril of hair behind her ear.

"Well, it took quite a bit of convincing for Dumbledore to even allow so many people to come to the Order's headquarters. He said he would permit it as long as the location remained a secret. He didn't exactly want anyone to name this place aloud when they flooed in case anyone overheard. So when they get here… don't tell them where they are exactly, even if they beg…. or Draco and I will be in a lot of trouble. We're responsible for making sure this party is pulled off without a hitch," Ron explained.

"I understand. Where's Draco?" she asked, realizing the other party coordinator was missing.

"I sent Ginny to go find him a few minutes ago. He's been checking and re-checking his appearance in the bathroom all afternoon. He is so vain, I swear!" Ron said rolling his eyes.

"He just wants to look nice for Harry," Hermione chided. "Did you work out how you're getting Harry here?"

"He thinks he has another Occlumency lesson with Snape. He should be flooing in here at seven o'clock sharp," Ron said, checking his watch.

Just then, several bodies appeared out of no where in the middle of the room. Snape was holding onto a round beach ball in the middle of several teenagers, each carrying a brightly wrapped present. Seeing that they had arrived at their destination, Snape tossed the ball aside and strode out of the room, looking quite upset that he had been asked to do such a task.

"Thanks," Ron called after him, truly thankful for the first time towards his most hated professor. Snape had willingly brought Harry's friends here with only a little coercion on Draco's part.

"Hey guys," said Hermione, leaving Ron's side and greeting their new guests. "You can put the presents over on that table."

The group did as they were instructed and then came to say their hellos. Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, and Blaise Zabini had eagerly agreed to come to such a celebration, and the three of them were exploring the room trying to figure out where they were. Luna Lovegood was here as well. Hermione had insisted on inviting her because she had become good friends with Ginny and Hermione after surviving the Department of Mysteries.

Oliver Wood, Alicia Spinnet, Angelina Johnson, and Katie Bell had all came at the twins' request, even though they had all left Hogwarts by now. They had been Harry's teammates in Quidditch, and were still quite fond of their little Seeker. They wanted to invite must of the members of Dumbledore's Army, which had been a club Harry created in their fifth year, but the Order had insisted on inviting only their closest friends.

Ron noticed that there appeared to be one person missing, however. "Where's Neville?" Ron asked Ginny, as she entered the room.

"He owled me this afternoon and said his grandmother wouldn't let him come this evening. I told Snape not to expect him. I guess his gran had already planned a family gathering for his own birthday, and he couldn't get out of it," she said sadly. Ron knew how she had had her heart set on hanging out with him this evening.

Ron gave her a brotherly hug. "Too bad… I wish I had remembered his birthday was the same as Harry's. We could have celebrated his birthday too. How come you're not at Neville's party?"

She crossed her arms and looked away angrily. "I wasn't invited. His old bat of a grandmother doesn't like me very much now. I'm surprised she even allowed me to visit him this summer. I just hope he got my present."

"Why doesn't she like you?" Ron asked curiously.

Ginny sighed sadly. "I don't really know. She seemed really nice to me before, but now that she realizes that Neville and I are getting really serious she has been acting really strange lately. I think it's just been the two of them together for so long that she hates the idea that I might be stealing him away."

Ron tried to give her a reassuring smile. "Well, I'm sure she'll come to realize what a great girl you are…"

"Thanks, Ron," Ginny said appreciatively.

Ron watched Hermione as she excused herself from the others and made her way over to Luna, who seemed to be examining Elmer with much fascination. The strange girl had twisted her waist length dirty-blond hair into a long a braid and then attached brightly colored bows along its length in a rainbow style fashion. She wore a red and green plaid skirt and a simple white button up shirt. Instead of radishes for earrings, she was now wearing hoop earrings that looked like it had been made from brightly painted macaroni. She also wore her standard necklace made of butterbeer caps around her neck.

He didn't really understand Hermione's friendship with the strange girl, but knew that his girlfriend found her "uniqueness" to be endearing. Luna was a very nice person but difficult to understand sometimes. Ron and Harry hadn't really kept in touch with her this past year with everything else going on, but they had remained friends through Hermione and Ginny.

Ron wanted to greet Oliver, Alicia, Angelina, and Katie, but they were too excited chatting with one another to really notice anyone else in the room. Apparently they had not seen each other since they each graduated. They had all gone their separate ways and were eagerly getting caught up on what they had been all been doing. Ron didn't feel like interrupting the little reunion, so he went to talk to Seamus and Dean, who were standing near the stereo system.

Dean, as they all discovered on New Year's Eve, was a DJ, so he had been asked to supervise the stereo. He had been more than eager to provide tonight's music, but had decided to leave all his equipment at home since he was in a residential area. His speakers tended to be quite loud and he worried even a silencing spell might not dampen them. He did in fact bring a case of CDs that he had mixed himself. He was currently checking out Tonks's stereo system and loading the first selection of music. Seamus seemed to be asking his friend a stream of annoying questions, but Dean was patiently ignoring him as he organized his music.

"Hey guys. What's up?" Ron asked, as he greeted his dorm mates.

"Hey Ron," said Dean as he loaded his CDs into the CD changer. "Thanks for inviting us. Everything looks great."

"I'm glad you both can make it. Harry's going to be really excited that you're here," he exclaimed.

"I've never been to a surprise party before. You really think he doesn't have a clue?" Seamus asked.

Ron smiled broadly. "Not a clue… I swear… This is going to be really cool."

"I can't wait to see the look on his face," Dean exclaimed.

Ron nodded in agreement and noticed Draco enter the living room. He watched as the blond made his way quickly over to Blaise, both looking somewhat awkward amongst all the Gryffindors. Draco looked really nervous for some reason and kept fidgeting with his clothing. He had changed three times since this afternoon and had apparently settled on the nicest pair of jeans he owned and a charcoal gray polo shirt, which made his pale blue-grey eyes even more startling.

Ron had never seen him look so unsure of himself before and found it quite amusing. Draco certainly wasn't the cocky arrogant prick that he once was. Ron had become used to Draco's presence now that he lived with his family, but it was still strange to seem him interacting with people Ron considered to be close friends after all he had said and done to them over the years. Ron half expected him to resort to his old scathing remarks to get him through the awkward situation, but he knew that wouldn't happen tonight. Draco _had_ changed, in many ways.

"So when is this party getting started?" asked Seamus loudly, eyeing all the food.

"As soon as Harry gets here…" Draco replied in an annoyed tone. "Honestly, it's a _surprise_ party!"

Dean and Seamus both gave Ron a look as if to say '_How do you put up with him?'_ They knew about Draco's new living arrangements since last year, and never missed an opportunity to remind Ron how strange it all was.

Ron checked his watch again and saw that the time of Harry's arrival was approaching fast. Several of the adults began to join them now in the living room. They came up in groups from the kitchen. Charlie had come all the way from Romania just for the occasion, saying that he had been looking for an excuse to come home and see the family anyway. Bill and Fleur Delacour joined them as well since they both lived in London now. Fred and George were there too, of course, ready with their new Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes Party Supply Pack. They quickly made their way over to their old Quidditch buddies to say their hellos.

One of the most surprising guests of the evening was Percy. Ron's older brother made his way over to the twins and quietly watched them set up some wet-ignition fireworks and listened to their conversation with the others. It was clear by the look on his face that he disagreed with using the fireworks indoors, but he had surprisingly kept his mouth shut for once. He hadn't been originally on Ron's guest list, but he had caught wind of the surprise party from his father while at work. Percy had made it a point to personally ask permission from Ron to attend the party, explaining that he wanted to show Harry and the others where his loyalties now lay. The Weasleys' relationship with Percy was still rocky at best, but they had come a long way in repairing it since Christmas, when he inadvertently led Death Eaters to the Burrow.

Percy, realizing how wrong he had been about everything, had done his best to keep the Order informed of the Death Eater's movements around Europe. The detailed maps he had created were amazing, but unfortunately the enemy never stayed in one place long enough to be captured. Percy had inside connections at the Ministry that enabled him to be privy to information that some of the aurors on the Order were not. It was because of his position in the Minister of Magic's office that he was allowed access to almost anything they needed. Unfortunately, his unique position was also quite dangerous.

The Order had always suspected that Voldemort had someone working on the inside, and that person had manipulated Percy on a number of occasions. As much as the Order needed Percy's help, they would not allow him to attend any of the meetings. They couldn't risk Percy leaking information to the wrong sources should he be subjected to Dark Magic again. Through Legilimency Snape discovered that Percy had been forced to destroy documents that involved information about the Dark Lord's whereabouts and his followers' activities. He had, in fact, been obliviated in the past on many occasions to erase all "evidence" of wrong doing.

The Order believed that there was some type of conspiracy going on that the Minister himself, or possibly someone controlling him, had been working on the behalf of Voldemort all along. It was difficult determine who was truly at fault, and pointing fingers without evidence would only fuel the political fire that had been raging between the Ministry of Magic and the Order of the Phoenix about how to capture Voldemort.

Ron notice that his parents had led Dumbledore and McGonagall and Tonks into the living room now. Even old Mrs. Figg had been contacted for the occasion. She made her ways upstairs and tottered her way into the living room. She soon found a chair to sit in and made herself comfortable.

They had all hoped that Hagrid might be able to be here as well, but he was currently on his way back to the mountains to return his brother Grawp to the giants. He had made a valiant effort to take care of him in the Forbidden Forest, but the job had become too overwhelming in the last year. In the end Hagrid felt that it was better if Grawp was left to fend for himself than place anyone at Hogwarts in possible danger.

Ron noticed that Snape had snuck in to the room while he had been lost in his thoughts and was currently standing in the corner of the room. He watched the lively bunch with a look of derision on his face.

The only other guests that needed to arrive were Sirius and Remus, and they would be flooing in behind Harry for the occasion. With the large crowd in place, all they had to do was wait.

* * *

"Go on… let's get this over with so that we can go dinner…" Remus said, offering Harry a pot of floo powder. 

"Alright," Harry replied, grabbing a handful of the dark grey powder.

He stepped into the fireplace, being careful not to touch the soot covered walls. Remus and Sirius had both insisted that he change into his new clothes they had gotten for him, saying that he should look nice for when they went out to dinner later. He was currently wearing a pair of dark blue denim jeans and a short sleeved red polo shirt that fit him snuggly. He even had on a new pair of trainers. After a summer of eating regularly and swimming every morning, Harry had begun to fill out quite nicely. He had even developed some muscle definition in his arms. He also had a nice golden tan that set off his dark features nicely. He would always be very thin, but at least he wasn't so sickly looking.

Unfortunately, Harry couldn't see himself for the handsome young man that he had become. All he saw when he looked in the mirror was a freak. The scars on his back and arms were proof of that. At least now that he was of age, he could cast the glamour charms himself instead of having to ask Remus to do it everyday.

Still feeling rather irritated that he had to go to Grimmauld Place for an Occlumency lesson on his birthday, Harry threw down the powder and called out his destination. The cabin disappeared from view and Harry soon found himself in complete darkness.

He had felt himself land in another fireplace, but the dark was disconcerting. He had no idea where he was. He was sure he had said the right location, but he felt uneasy anyway. He grabbed his wand from his back pocket and was about to cast a "lumos" spell when everything became amazingly bright.

"_Surprise!" _ a sea of voices yelled. A few fireworks exploded overhead, startling Harry greatly, and the shimmering blue embers fluttered to the ground harmlessly.

Harry took a small step back and blinked against the harsh light that now filled the room. As his eyes adjusted, he saw traces of red and gold hanging vibrantly above a crowd of people. His head whipped around and he took in all the smiling faces, who seemed to be staring at him anxiously. He lowered his wand as he slowly realized that he knew all of these people from various social contexts, and that he considered them all to be friends. He couldn't help but think how strange it was to see them here all together.

"Surprise?" he asked, stupidly. All of the guests began to laugh at his confusion.

"Yes, Harry this is a _surprise_ party," said Fred.

"Did you forget that it was your _birthday_?" George added.

He should have known his friends were planning something like this, but a small part of him deep inside wouldn't allow him to hope for such things. He would never felt worthy of such attention.

His face grew red from embarrassment as he felt each pair of eyes staring at him expectantly. He slowly realized what everything meant and he couldn't hide the smile that slid across his face. All of these people were here because of him! He ducked his head slightly, trying to hide his embarrassment. "You shouldn't… you didn't have to…" he tried to say.

Mrs. Weasley approached him quickly and wouldn't let him say another word. She pulled him into a hug and said, "Don't you start that! We all wanted to," she said firmly. She kissed on the forehead affectionately and gave him a tap on the bottom. "Now go greet your guests." Harry nodded in understanding and couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the entire situation.

He had a surprise party last year too, at the Burrow, but that one had been much different. It had been a belated party because he had still been at the Dursleys' on his birthday, and it had been a much quieter affair. He didn't think he would have been able to handle all these people all at once last year, especially after what had happened. Most of his presents last year had been things that needed to be replaced after they had been destroyed at the Dursleys'. Vernon had burned everything but his wand, invisibility cloak, and photograph album (which Harry had hidden) as soon as they had arrived home from the train station. The Weasleys had tried their best to make it a joyous occasion, but Harry had still been quite depressed over everything that had happened. That small party was nothing compared to the one he currently found himself in.

Hermione, Draco, and Ron rushed over to him quickly, anxious to say their hellos. "Happy Birthday, Harry!" Hermione whispered into his ear as she pulled him into a hug. She held onto him for a long while and Harry began to feel a little weepy from all the attention.

"Happy Birthday, mate! Do you like your surprise?" asked Ron, when his girlfriend finally let him go.

"Yeah, thanks," Harry said with an easy smile. "I had no idea you were planning all of this."

"Well, that's the whole point of surprise Harry!" Ron answered sarcastically, giving him a manly squeeze.

"Happy Birthday, love," Draco whispered in his ear.

Harry turned his head for a kiss, but Draco stepped back with a sad look in his eyes. Harry only needed to see the green flames in the fireplace behind him to understand why. Remus and Sirius had just flooed in behind him. Harry cast an appreciative glance at Draco, silently thanked him for his restraint.

If it weren't for his godfather Harry could openly be with his boyfriend here at the party. Almost everyone here already knew about their relationship because of everything that had happened at Hogwarts last term. And he didn't really care if anyone else found out anymore; that is anyone except Sirius. His opinion still mattered to Harry very much, despite their now awkward relationship. He was grateful that Draco had known to back away in time so that Sirius didn't catch them in an open display of affection.

"Happy Birthday, Harry," said Remus, walking towards his young ward with Sirius in tow. Both were carrying a few presents. Harry had already received the clothes he was wearing and wasn't really expecting anything else.

"Thanks," Harry said. "So no sushi then, ey?" he asked Sirius, as they set their gifts down with the pile of others.

Sirius grasped his shoulder and put on a look of mock disgust. "Of course not! Why would I inflict such a horrible excuse for cuisine on my only godson?"

"I don't know. But you really had me going with that whole going out to dinner thing!" Harry exclaimed, shoving Sirius playfully.

"I know…" Sirius said beaming. "I'm a good actor aren't I?"

"So everyone knew about this but me?" Harry asked curiously, looking at the crowd of people now mingling among themselves.

"He's really not getting this whole surprise thing is he?" Ron asked Draco and Hermione.

"But I already had a surprise party last year, I didn't expect another…" Harry tried to say. He noticed that Sirius looked sad to hear that he had missed yet another event in Harry's life, but he quickly recovered.

"There's no law that says you can't have one every year," Remus explained. "It looks as if there might be a line to come say hello to you…"

Harry turned his head and saw that there were indeed several people waiting patiently to greet him. Most were wearing party hats and leis around their necks. Fred and George were handing out other various party supplies to the guests, including a device that could be attached to the tip of a wand to create multi-colored bubbles out of thin air.

Harry left his guardian's side and politely made his way through the room to say hello to everyone and thank them for coming. Most were mingling near the food table now, helping themselves to various finger foods. He inevitably got stuck in various conversations and had to excuse himself occasionally so that he could graciously make his way around to everyone.

"Hey Percy, thanks for coming…" Harry said awkwardly, trying his best to make conversation with Ron's older brother.

"No problem," he said, smiling sadly. The two of them didn't seem to know what else to say to each other so they both shrugged and made their way off in separate directions.

He had been surprised to see so many Hogwarts students here. Draco explained how they had arranged it with Dumbledore, and advised him not to tell them their true location. The portkey would take them back to the Leaky Cauldron at the end of the night and they would floo home from there. Tom didn't seem to mind keeping the pub open a little later for the occasion.

"So there's no Occlumency lesson?" Harry asked Snape lightly. Harry couldn't help but feel amused to see the professor standing in the corner as if on guard duty.

"No, Potter, there is not," Snape replied. Something resembling a smile passed his lips, but it disappeared again quickly.

"Well, thanks for being here just the same…" Harry replied. Snape nodded and returned to watching the lively crowd. Harry left his side and continued to move through the throng of guests.

He spent as much time as he could with each person, making sure they knew how much this all meant to him. Thankfully, not too many people felt the need to give him a hug or slap him on the back. Most accepted a simple handshake, although Harry felt guilty about not being a more affectionate person.

He wanted to get back to Draco's side, but felt himself being pulled in a million directions, as someone else tried to get his attention. The noise level in the room grew considerably, and he found himself having to talk over the din of voices. Although these were all people he knew intimately well, he still felt a little unsure of himself. He was never really a confident person, although that was how he was often perceived, and couldn't help but feel consciously aware of his own actions and words. He wouldn't feel right again until he was back beside his true love.

Harry had been trying to politely end a conversation with Luna, when he heard "Wotcher, Harry!" from behind. He recognized the voice instantly and spun around to greet the purple haired witch.

"Hey Tonks! Thanks for coming. The party's great!" Harry said politely.

Tonks smiled politely at Luna, and the young girl surprisingly took the hint to leave them alone now. She was now looking around the room for someone else to talk to, and Harry couldn't help but feel sorry for her next victim. He wondered if Tonks knew that she had just saved him from a conversation about the existence of Crumple-Horned Snorkacks and the Quibbler's recent coverage about them.

"This isn't a party… this only a social gathering!" she exclaimed. "I'll show you what a party looks like. My new friend Dean… will you do the honors?" Tonks asked, shouting over the sea of people.

Dean promptly whipped out his wand and aimed it at the stereo in the corner of the room. A pink light bolted from his wand and hit the stereo, nearly knocking if over. It rocked back and forth a couple of times until it finally settled into place. The speakers quickly blasted to life and soon a song was resonating through the room.

"_Yahoo! This is your celebration__Yahoo! This is your celebration"_

Harry instantly recognized the Muggle tune, and apparently so did many of the others. Everyone shouted excitedly. Soon all of Harry's friends were grooving to the beat. Even some of the adults were beginning to dance along to the joyous song. Harry watched as Sirius quickly crossed the room and grabbed Tonks by the hand. She tried to protest that she didn't know how to dance, but Sirius wouldn't hear anything of it. Soon he was twirling his cousin around the room and looking like he was having a good time. Poor Tonks had nearly tripped over her own two feet several times, but seemed to be enjoying herself nonetheless. Even Dumbledore was tilting his head gently from side to side to the beat of the music, a twinkle in his eye.

"_Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)__Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)__There's a party goin' on right here__A celebration to last throughout the years__So bring your good times, and your laughter too__We gonna celebrate your party with you"_ After the song ended many others followed. Each one mixed with the previous one so that their beats seemed almost intertwined. There was a nice mixture of both Muggle and Wizard recording artists throughout the night. Fred and George would occasionally light off another firework, adding to the spectacular drama of the evening. Many others were using their wand bubble tips to create a myriad of colored bubbles drifting over their heads. Seamus had found Elmer and Ginny explained to him what he was. Together they found a way enchant the poor dummy into dancing along to the music. The inanimate body sprung to life and began to do something that resembled a solo tango around the room. Many of the guests were laughing uproariously and everyone enjoyed the spectacle, even if they did have to jump out of the way as Elmer glided by. Harry couldn't remember the last time he'd had so much fun. He made his way back over to where Hermione, Ron, Blaise, and Draco were standing and joined them as they were swept away by the thumping beat. He let himself move to the music and soon found a rhythm that suited him. Like before, he found that he could almost lose himself in the music. He was living in the moment, and he felt very alive. He was still very aware of everyone around him, but he didn't feel as self conscious as he was before. He occasionally felt someone bump into him, and mentally forced himself not to think about. He didn't like being touched by anyone, but he understood that the occasional nudge was to be expected when dancing with so many people. Harry tried to mimic some of Draco's moves, who was an amazingly good dancer, but found that he was better off using his usual movements- which consisted mainly of moving side to side and bobbing his head up and down. 

"Are you having a good time!" shouted Ron.

"Yeah! Thank you so much!" Harry shouted back.

He saw that Ron had looked over his head towards the doorway and a big smile crossed his face. "Well, it's about to get even better! Dean… Dean!... DEAN! Kill the music!" Ron shouted over the lively crowd.

Dean whipped out his wand and another pink bolt of light shot out of the end of it. The music died instantly. The silence that followed was deafening… literally. The music had been so loud before that Harry felt as if his ears had now been plugged up.

He looked back at his best friend, and Ron simply smiled at him again. The tall red head grasped him by the shoulders and turned him around. Harry instantly saw a giant cake floating into the room on a small card table. It came to rest in the middle of the room. Ron pushed him gently from behind and Harry took a few steps forward.

Someone dimmed the lights and the seventeen candles on the cake flared to life, illuminating the magnificent pastry in all its glory. Harry had never seen such a cake before and figured that it must be at least two and half feet across and three tiers high. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever expected such a thing. He felt his eyes become slightly misty as everyone broke out in song.

"_Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Harr…rry… happy birthday to you!"_

"Go on Harry, blow out the candles," Hermione encouraged him.

"And don't forget to make a wish…" Draco whispered behind him.

Harry closed his eyes and tried to think about what he wanted most in life. He wished that he would always be surrounded by friends and family and that he and Draco would always be together. He wasn't sure if any of that would ever be reality, but that didn't keep him from hoping.

Harry took a step forward, gathered up a deep breath, and blew as hard as he could. All the candles went out in one blow and everyone cheered. Harry was about to turn back to face his friends when the candles flared to life again. He was shocked to say the least. He had never heard of such a thing occurring, especially since he had been so deprived on the whole birthday celebration thing for so many years. Part of him suspected that it might be back luck. Everyone started laughing as Harry desperately tried to blow them out again, hoping that he hadn't ruined his wish. No matter how hard he tried, the flames wouldn't die. Mrs. Weasley, who had levitated the cake in, tried a few charms hoping to extinguish the flames, but nothing she did seemed to work.

Even his friends came forward and started blowing, trying to help him out. But the expression on each other's face was just too funny. Soon they were all laughing so hard they couldn't even put their lips together to blow properly and ended up making utter fools of themselves. They even tried fanning the flames with their hands, but that only seemed to make the situation worse. They would have stopped altogether, but they were all worried about the cake melting before anyone could eat it.

Fred and George were laughing themselves silly watching the entire scene. They finally couldn't take watching them practically spitting all over the delicious cake and revealed the spell that would disable the trick candles. Harry noticed that although Mrs. Weasley was now scolding the twins, she really seemed secretly delighted that their childish prank had gotten Harry to smile again.

The cake was cut into enormous pieces and served with ice cream. Harry had never tasted anything so delicious and relished every bite of the rich desert. This was probably one of the best nights of his life and he couldn't imagine how it could get any better. And yet it did.

* * *

Draco couldn't have been more pleased at how the evening had turned out. Harry truly seemed to be having a good time, and Draco was more than ecstatic that he had helped create that smile on his face. Harry hadn't stopped smiling all night. He seemed a little edgy with so many people hanging around him, but he was genuinely having a good time… that much was clear. 

After most of the remains of the cake and ice cream had been cleared away, Ron and Hermione forced Harry to sit down in front of everyone and begin to open his presents. He looked embarrassed to say the least. Draco knew that he didn't really feel comfortable being the center of attention, but he deserved to know how much everyone cared about him. Thankfully everyone was really nice about it, however, and didn't tease him too much about how much his face had reddened.

He decided to stand a short distance away and helped Ron hand Harry his presents and take them away once they were opened. Draco also made sure that he cleaned up all the wrapping paper so that Mrs. Weasley wouldn't have to worry about it later. Although he was pretty sure that everything Ron had said before about Draco being ungrateful had been just to get a rise out of him, he couldn't help but think that there might be a small bit of truth in it.

Draco watched as Harry opened present after present, desperately trying to hide how uncomfortable he was at receiving so many gifts. Harry thanked each person wholeheartedly, like it meant the world to him that they had been thoughtful enough to buy him a present. He was so sweet about it that Draco felt like he had to restrain himself from reaching out and kissing the poor boy on the cheek. His boyfriend got everything from boxes of chocolates to T-Shirts that had fun logos on them.

Oliver, Katie, Angelina, and Alicia had apparently owled one another once they received their invitations and had pooled their money to buy Harry a complete Quidditch set. They cleverly had wrapped each item separately in various size boxes so Harry couldn't guess what they had gotten. He finally found the trunk to store them all in and enlarged it to its proper size and stored the balls and bats away for safe keeping.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley presented Harry with warm woolen winter cloak that had been hand made. He also opened a small box that contained an intricately designed piece of metal with his name and face on it. Draco recognized what it was instantly, since he had received a similar one on his own birthday. Apparently Harry did not. When he looked up at Mrs. Weasley questioningly, she simply took the metal piece from the box and walked over to the grandfather clock- that had been brought from the Burrow- and added it to the clock's face. The small teen suddenly realized what it all meant and his face turned a deeper shade of red. Again, it was all that Draco could do not to put his arm around Harry to give him a squeeze.

Harry couldn't even express the words to tell Mr. and Mrs. Weasley how much the gesture meant to him, but was able to stand and hug them both deeply. They seemed to understand.

Percy, Bill, and Charlie gave Harry a wizarding chess set and Tonks and some of the Order members gave him some books about dueling and on becoming an auror. Old Mrs. Figg gave him several pairs of socks for some reason, (she must think that he was in need of them) and a tin of chocolate. Fred and George gave him their standard box of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes samplers. Draco knew that Harry hadn't even made it through the last box they gave him and probably didn't have the heart to tell them.

Ron and Hermione gave him an album full of pictures and mementos from their days together at Hogwarts. Draco knew that Harry had only one framed photo of him and his friends together and maybe a few more photographs of them stuck in the back of his album Hagrid had made him, so to have an entire scrapbook of his time with them was really special. Draco watched as Harry wistfully flipped through the pages. He had no idea that Ron and Hermione had collected so many pictures over the years, and he suspected that Colin and Dennis Creevey might have been partly responsible. He noticed that several pages had been left blank in the back so that he could fill it with memories from their final year together at Hogwarts. It was funny to see pictures of Harry when he was younger. He looked so young and innocent then. A part of Draco wondered how his life might have been different if he had run away from his father much sooner and become friends with Harry. "Thanks you guys… you don't know what this means to me…" Harry finally whispered, looking up at his friends from his seated position. "No problem Harry," said Ron. Together Ron and Hermione both leaned down to give Harry a big hug. Everyone "awwed…." at seeing the intimate moment between the Golden Trio and they broke away laughing awkwardly. Draco wished he could have been a part of that moment and was slightly jealous that he couldn't be so open about his affections for Harry. He had felt Sirius watching him throughout the night and he knew better than to do anything to cause Harry to become upset. He would just have to wait until they could be alone to give him a birthday kiss to remember. 

Pulled back from his thoughts Draco realized that Harry was now being asked to open his gifts from Remus and Sirius. "I'm taking you shopping tomorrow to spoil you rotten, but there is a special something that I think should be presented to you on the day of your birthday…" Sirius began. "I had one and I think your father was given one as well, so I hope you like it. Go on… open it!"

Harry took the neatly wrapped box from his godfather's hand and began to unwrap it. Draco peered over his shoulder and saw a long slender box, about 10 inches long, within the wrappings. Harry carefully opened the box to discover an intricately carved dagger nestled in a bed of purple velvet.

Draco felt his face flush instantly with anger that Harry's godfather would give him such a gift when the boy had struggled for so long with his addiction to cutting. His temper lessened considerably as he began to realize that Sirius had no way of knowing that any of that had occurred without Harry or Remus telling him. Glancing at Harry's face he saw that it had drained of all color and a sense of longing stirred behind his emerald green eyes.

Looking up, Draco saw Ron and Hermione both looking at him in alarm and seemed to be gesturing with their eyes to take it away from him. Glancing over at Remus, Draco noticed that he looked a bit shaken as well.

"It's a tradition in many pureblooded families to present an heir with a ceremonial dagger like this one when that heir comes of age," Sirius continued to explain, seeing the confusion on Harry's face. "I had your name engraved along the hilt. See it there…"

Draco and Harry looked closely at it and saw that "_Harry James Potter"_ had been engraved into the ebony handle.

"Thank you, Sirius… I've never seen anything like it…" Harry finally said, finding his voice.

"You're welcome. It's actually one of a kind. I had to go through considerable trouble trying to contact its maker through Owl mail without you knowing these last couple of days," said Sirius.

"But you didn't have to get me anything. I would have understood. You just got home-" Harry began.

Sirius waved his hand to stop and replied, "Nonsense! I couldn't miss the opportunity to present something like this to you on such a special day. If James were here, I'd like to think that he might have done the same."

"Thanks," Harry said again softly, looking back down at the dagger lying in his hands.

Draco saw the look Harry had in his eyes and feared the worst. He promptly snatched up the dagger in the box and closed the lid. He moved back towards the gift table and made like he was going to place the present with the others, but decided to hide it a bit underneath one of the t-shirts in case Harry got any ideas. Draco made a mental note to talk to Remus about hiding it from Harry when they got home.

Harry then received his next gift from Remus, which ended up being a pair of dragon hide pads for Quidditch. Harry's face lit up considerably and he flashed a smile at his guardian. Remus knew how much Harry loved the sport and openly supported the decision to become a professional Quidditch player instead of training to be an auror. Draco and Harry had already had a conversation about that as well, and Harry insisted that as long as Voldemort was alive, he would never allow himself such a frivolous career choice when so many people were still suffering. He was going to do everything in his power to see that he was prepared for the final battle, even if that meant becoming an auror. But the pads still brought Harry a great amount of happiness, even if they would only be used one year.

"Is that it?" Ron asked, looking around at all the opened boxes, making sure that they hadn't forgotten anything.

"Actually, there is one more thing…" said Remus, pulling an old box out from under one of the tables. "This is a gift from both Sirius and myself that we had agreed to keep secret until your seventeenth birthday. It took a lot of work to gather it all together. I hope you forgive us, Harry, for waiting so long to give you these things, but they were so special that we decided to wait until this very moment to reveal them to you."

Harry darted his eyes upwards at Draco, a look of apprehension on his face. Draco smiled down at him reassuringly and placed his hand on his shoulder. He didn't care what anyone else thought. Whatever Remus and Sirius had planned it would probably affect Harry a great deal and Draco wanted to be there with him to share in whatever emotion the gift invoked.

Harry opened the old box he was handed and gasped audibly. His hand quickly came to cover his open mouth and his eyes watered slightly. Inside were many sentimental items that obviously once belonged to his parents. He held up and fingered each one carefully as if they might disintegrate before his very eyes. The box held old love letters that his parents had written to each other, old photos of them in school, a few baby toys that must have belonged to Harry, dried flowers from Lily's wedding bouquet, jewelry, pictures of Harry's grandparents, and an assortment of odds and ends.

"Oh my god… but how?" Harry asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"Not everything was destroyed the night your parents died, Harry…" Sirius explained.

"You mean you found all of this stuff at Godric's Hollow?" Harry asked.

Draco could understand his surprise. His parents' house had literally been flattened to the ground on the fateful night long ago.

"Yes, most of it… Sirius and I had a few photos and old mementoes from school that we were able to gather between us. Some things we were able to recover from old friends of your parents," Remus added with a smile. "They were only more than happy to give us the few precious items they had to give to you. Do you like it?"

"Oh my… yes… I love it… Thank you so much… you don't know what this all means to me!" Harry insisted. He gently set the box on the ground and jumped up to hug both men at once. Draco noticed that Sirius seemed pleased that Harry was treating him the same as he would Remus.

"Well, there is one more thing…" Sirius began, stooping to select a solid black spherical object from the box.

"Sirius, not now…" Remus warned.

"I think he might want to see it!" Sirius argued. Remus shrugged but didn't look to happy about his decision.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Remus found most of these things among the rubble at your parents' house. This had been kept in a safe that he was able to find," he said, holding up the black ball so that they could all see. Many people began to whispering amongst themselves, obviously recognizing it for what it was. Draco had never seen one before but could guess at its true nature.

"What is it?"

"A holographic recorder… it was used to record an image at your parents' wedding that they wanted to preserve," said Sirius.

"I can see my parents?" Harry asked softly.

"If you want to."

"Now?"

"Whenever you are ready, Harry," Remus added. "We can do this some other time..."

"I think now is as good a time as any. What better way to mark this celebration than by viewing the one that made it all happen," Sirius said, using his wand to levitate the object.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, watching his godfather closely.

"Didn't you know? You were conceived on your parent's wedding night." Sirius said with a suggestive wink. The crowd erupted into a fit of giggles. "Are you ready?"

Harry nodded uncertainly and Draco took a step forward so that he could stand beside him. Sirius tapped the floating ball with his wand and it began to spin around wildly.

All of a sudden the image of Lily and James Potter appeared before the entire room. They waved to everyone in the scene, and it was somewhat eerie. A few people waved back even though they knew they really weren't there. They were just waving to their wedding guests long ago.

Amazingly, their bodies appeared almost solid. But it was obvious that they weren't really there because the image of them was too bright, like they had been taken right off the screen of a movie. James was dressed in traditional black dress robes, and Lily wore a Muggle wedding dress that had an empire waist and sheer peasant sleeves. The white gown was breathtaking on her and fit her graceful body perfectly. Her waist length auburn hair had been painstaking curled so each ringlet cascaded softly down her back and a crown of white flowers encircle her head. She was one of the most beautiful people Draco had ever seen.

Draco couldn't get over how much Harry looked like his father either. He had always heard that to be true, but in all the time they had been together Harry had never once shared with him any pictures of his parents. He suspected that it hurt Harry too much to speak about them.

A soft melody began to play and James began to lead Lily around the dance floor. Harry's guests backed away instinctively even though it probably wasn't necessary. The recorder had captured their first dance together as man and wife- the beginning of their new life together as a married couple.

Draco turned to watch Harry and saw that his face conveyed a mixture of emotions. It was as if his features couldn't decide if he was happy or sad. Looking back Draco realized that the wedding moment was coming to an end. James dipped his new bride dramatically and placed a kiss on her lips. Lily sprang back up laughing excitedly and the young couple smiled politely at all their "imaginary" guests, who had begun to applaud.

The image faded and soon all that was left was the black ball slowly spinning to a halt. Everyone turned back towards Harry trying to gauge how he was feeling about everything.

The small teen made an attempt to be polite and thanked Sirius and Remus again. But then he excused himself saying that he needed a moment to be alone. He left the room quickly and Draco felt his heart breaking for him.

"I told you not to do that tonight," Remus scolded Sirius.

"But I thought Harry might have wanted to see it…" his godfather tried to explain. "I'll just go make sure he's alright."

"No, I'll go!" Draco said firmly, walking past them and out the door.

He heard Sirius begin to protest and Remus telling him to leave Harry alone for a bit. Someone had the sense to turn the music back on so that the guests wouldn't be distracted by Harry's sudden absence and soon the party was underway again.

Draco found Harry sitting on the bottom step of the stairs, his head hanging in his hands. He sat down beside him and put his arm around him. Harry leaned into the embrace. Neither one said a word for a while. Being beside one another was enough.

Suddenly, Harry's hand shot to his scar and his fingers began rubbing it lightly. "What's wrong?" Draco asked fearfully. He knew that Harry hadn't had any dreams or visions in a while and was worried what that meant.

"N-nothing…" Harry said, still rubbing his scar.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not really… I keep getting these little twinges every now and then. I don't know what it means," he replied.

"Have you told anybody about it?" Draco asked, concern evident in his voice.

"No, there isn't much to say. I haven't even had a vision in a while. I think it might be my mind playing tricks on me because I'm worried about why things have been so quiet."

"You need to tell someone anyway. I'm worried about you."

"Thanks, but I'm fine," Harry said. "I'll tell Remus later if it makes you happy."

"It would," Draco admitted.

They sat in silence again pondering what it all meant. Draco couldn't help but see the sadness in Harry's eyes again. The blond stood up and then reached down to grab one of Harry's hands. He pulled him up beside him and said, "C'mon love… let's go upstairs for a bit. You could use a break."

Harry nodded mutely and quietly followed Draco upstairs. The blond took Harry to the room that he shared with Ron and sat him down on the bed before closing the bedroom door.

"Are you alright?" he asked hesitantly as he took a seat beside Harry.

Harry shrugged and didn't say a word. "Do you wish that you hadn't seen that tonight?" he asked, referring to the holographic recorder Sirius had used.

Harry thought about what Draco had asked for a moment. He sniffled lightly and wiped away a single tear. "No, it's not that. I think it would have been just as hard for me to see that no matter when it happened. They must all think I must be a big baby for leaving like that."

"No, they don't. They didn't even notice. They began playing music again as soon as you left. They're all down there partying," Draco said, hoping that Harry would feel less self-conscious.

"Oh…" he replied lamely, sounding slightly hurt.

"I don't mean to make it sound like they don't care… just that they do understand that's all," he tried again.

"They looked so young and happy, didn't they?" Harry asked thoughtfully. Draco knew that he was referring to the image of his parents.

"Yes, they did. I see now why they say you look so much like your father. He was a handsome man," Draco commented.

Harry laughed lightly and said, "I don't know whether to thank you or hit you for that comment."

Draco gave him a playful smirk and Harry smiled back. He loved how quickly he was able to put the smaller teen at ease. "Get over here and kiss me, birthday boy!"

Harry complied and leaned over to kiss Draco for the first time tonight. The blond pulled him in closer and kissed him passionately, hoping to express how much he loved and cared for Harry on this special day. They lay down beside one another and continued their loving kisses on each other's mouths. They finally broke away from their brief snogging session, but Draco wouldn't let go. He held onto Harry tightly and breathed in his scent.

He looked amazing tonight and Draco hated having to share him with everybody else. He wanted Harry all to himself, but realized that everybody cared about him almost as much as he did. Harry finally pulled back from the embrace and sat up. Seeing the longing look on Draco's face, he kissed him once more on the cheek.

Draco sat up beside him and sighed deeply. He sat there numbly, not saying a word, mentally debating with himself whether or not this was a good time to give Harry his gift. He had been so nervous about it all day that he had nearly made himself sick with worry.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked, seeing the pensive look on Draco's face.

"Yeah, why?" he asked, trying to brush of his feelings of insecurity away.

"I don't know. Your mood shifted somehow. You seem anxious about something."

"I kind of am… I still haven't given you a birthday present," he replied.

"Oh, you don't have to give me anything…"

Draco rolled his eyes at him and sighed deeply. "I wasn't sure when would be the right time to give this to you… I guess now is as good as a time as any." He reached underneath his pillow and pulled out a small black box, wrapped with a red ribbon.

"Draco you didn't really have to…" Harry began to say. Draco stopped him by placing his hand gently over Harry's lips.

"Yes I did. I wanted to give you something special for your birthday to show you how much you mean to me. You are my everything, Harry… I never thought I would ever say that about anybody… but you are… I can't imagine my life without you anymore and I can't even imagine a future without you…"

"What are you saying?" Harry asked nervously as Draco removed his hand.

"Open the box and see…" he said breathlessly.

Harry unwrapped the box to find a beautiful platinum gold ring inside. He recognized the intricate design instantly. It was the same dragon design that wrapped around Draco's ring that Harry had given to him for Christmas, and nearly matched the dragon pendant that always hung around Harry's neck. Like Draco's ring, it contained one tiny emerald green eye.

"I wanted to get you a silver ring like mine, but I figured with Remus around that it was probably safer to go with platinum," he explained.

"It's beautiful… thank you…" Harry said, taking the ring out of the box and placing it on the ring finger of his left hand.

"Harry this ring is my promise to you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't know what our plans are after we leave school, but I hope this ring symbolizes how much you mean to me. I will always be by your side as long as you'll have me. And if everything goes according to plan, someday I will replace these rings with wedding bands. I love you more than life itself…" Draco said softly, his voice catching in the back of his throat as he was overcome with emotion.

"I feel the same way… I promise I will never leave you," Harry replied softly.

The two teenagers embraced each other warmly and plastered kisses all over each other's faces. They held onto one another for as long as possible, relishing the love and comfort they each bestowed on one another.

"I got my wish…" Harry said suddenly.

"What's that?" Draco asked.

"Oh nothing…"

They kept each other company a while longer before deciding that they probably should get back to the party before anyone started to wonder where they were.

* * *

Sirius noticed Harry and Draco slip back into the party almost half an hour after they had both left and wondered what had took them so long. Surely seeing his parents couldn't have upset Harry that much. He had only wanted to provide him with a loving memory of his parents instead of the screams of torment that filled his head whenever Dementors got too near. He hoped that he hadn't somehow destroyed the precarious relationship he had begun to build with his godson. 

The two young men found their friends quickly in the throng of people and began dancing once again. Sirius knew that Harry had never been allowed to celebrate his birthday growing up so he was glad that he was able to participate in this big bash. He watched his godson fondly as he danced with his friends, song after song.

The living room wasn't very large so there wasn't a lot of room to dance with so many people crammed in there. The noise and the heat had both risen considerably within the few hours since the party had started and Sirius found himself beginning to sweat. He made his way over to one of the walls and rested his back on the cool surface. A few members of the Order tried to make conversation with him, but he stayed mostly quiet and seemed content just surveying the scene before him.

Sirius watched with amusement as Harry and his friends enjoyed themselves. It was over abundantly clear how much everyone adored his godson. They all had a smile or a kind word to say for him. Some light hearted jokes were made occasionally, but overall they all treated Harry carefully, as if he were made of glass.

Sirius appreciated the fact that Harry was so well loved, but his friends' behavior sometimes was also very strange. He had a hard time understanding it all. Curiously, the small raven haired teen regarded everyone as carefully as they did him. He appeared to be having a good time, but his body language suggested that he was keeping himself well guarded. He didn't seem entirely comfortable in the crowded room. Even the smile that crossed his lips, although at first seemed genuine, never really matched the look in his eyes. Sirius noticed that Harry would flinch occasionally when someone accidentally bumped into him, but then quickly resume whatever he was doing to cover up the tiny movement of his shoulders.

The only person Harry seemed to be entirely comfortable around was Draco, who was dancing rather close to his godson. At first, Sirius didn't think anything of it because the music was a fast beat, which meant everyone tended to dance closely together as a large group. But then he noticed the way they smiled at one another and the twinkle in their eyes, and he wondered if it was something more.

Feeling like a pervert for staring, Sirius excused himself from some of the Order members who still dared to stick around in a room full of hormonal teenagers. He made his way over to the food table to help himself to some punch.

"Having a good time?" Remus asked, who had suddenly appeared at his side. Sirius nodded mutely and gulped down his punch, suddenly feeling quite parched. He glanced back over at Harry and saw Draco whispering something in his ear. His godson smiled brightly and burst out laughing at whatever the blond had said.

"What's with Harry and Draco?" Sirius asked Remus.

He couldn't help but notice that Remus had noticeably stiffened at his question. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is how come those two are so close now? Are they more than just friends?" Sirius prodded.

"I don't know what you mean…" Remus said, his voice trailing off as he quickly walked away.

Sirius was puzzled by his friend's behavior but was in no mood to pursue the issue any further. He was hot and irritated now for some reason.

Feeling somewhat restless watching the younger crowd enjoy themselves, Sirius slipped out from the party to explore his parents' home. Thankfully it was much cooler out here than it had been in the party.

It was a somewhat surreal experience to be back here after reliving so many awful memories that took place in this very house while in Limbo. He was glad that the Order had continued to use the house for their headquarters even after Sirius's "departure" from this world.

Things hadn't changed all that much in the last year. The house was noticeably cleaner with the Weasleys staying there year round now. They had moved some of their furniture in, but otherwise the house was just the same as he remembered it.

Sirius walked around the rest of the first floor desperately trying to chase away all the old memories. He soon made his way downstairs to the kitchen, but found that most of the Order had assembled there to give the teenagers some privacy. It appeared as if the gathering had been casual and showed no signs of being a meeting. Several bottles of wine had been set out on the table, and many were sipping it from goblets. They motioned to him to come join them, but he didn't feel entirely comfortable around the others. He politely excused himself and went back upstairs.

He wasn't up to socializing just yet. In time, Sirius knew that he would be able to lead a fuller life, especially since he had been exonerated of all charges, but for now he was content with his simple life with Harry and Remus. He was slowly accepting the path fate had led him down and becoming accustomed to living life again.

He needed to feel comfortable again in his own skin before he would ever feel comfortable around others. It was funny really… he hadn't been anything more than an apparition while he was in Limbo and he yet almost hated his corporeal form now. Ever since he had been brought back, his body had felt too heavy somehow. It was as if he were being confined within his very own body with no hope of escape.

Things were getting progressively better, but there were times in which he felt as if he were suffocating. At least he was able to escape reality occasionally in his animagus form. His alter ego had helped his human side heal considerably.

The sounds of the music blaring in the living room oddly did not reverberate throughout the rest of the house. Sirius reasoned that someone must have put a silencing spell on the room to prevent any of the neighbors hearing the music and notifying the police for a noise violation.

Having no other place to go, he began to climb the stairs. Sirius thought about these things as he wandered from room to room. He soon reached the room in the attic that had once held Buckbeak and opened the door, hoping to see his old friend. He hadn't really expected the hippogriff to still be here, but amazingly he was.

"Buckbeak!" he exclaimed excitedly, closing the door behind him.

The half eagle- half horse-like creature recognized Sirius immediately and trotted over to greet him. Sirius met him with a bow, which was promptly returned, before attempting to pet Buckbeak.

His old friend leaned into the hand stroking him and cooed affectionately. Sirius lovingly rubbed the soft feathers, relishing the comfort this large beast somehow brought to him. They had been partners in crime at one point in their lives… two fugitives desperate to escape imminent death… who sought solitude in this old house not so long ago.

He hadn't even noticed that the two of them weren't alone, and he startled slightly when that figure approached them. Molly had been in the room when he had opened the door, attempting to feed the poor creature. She was still holding a bundle of dead ferrets tied to a string, looking quite cross that Buckbeak was now ignoring her.

"I can't believe he is still here… I would have thought that the Order would have set him free…" Sirius said to Molly.

"We did try a few times, but he kept flying back here. Hagrid said that Buckbeak no longer has a herd so he keeps coming back to the one place he felt safe. Apparently he considers the people in this house to be his herd now."

"Really… I had no idea…" Sirius said softly. "How have you been ol' boy?"

Buckbeak snorted roughly, spraying Sirius's face with hippogriff mucus. Sirius wiped off his face, but made sure not to show that he was disgusted. He didn't want to offend his old friend.

"Not well, actually. He hasn't been eating very much and has been battling some type of cold on and off…I think he misses you…" Molly said softly.

Sirius smiled and reached for the string dead ferrets. She handed them over and Sirius quickly tossed a few into the air. Buckbeak caught them in mid air and swallowed each down quickly. Sirius repeated this action several times until all of his food was gone.

"Well, I'll be… He hasn't eaten that much in… I can't tell you how long…" she said in amazement. "So how are you?"

"As good as can be expected, I suppose," he answered, almost absentmindedly.

"And Harry? How is he adjusting to everything?" she persisted.

"What are you getting at Molly?" Sirius asked. He knew from previous experience what her thoughts were on his relationship with Harry. She always felt that he was using his godson as a substitution for James.

"Oh nothing… I just wanted to know how Harry was dealing with two bachelors…"

"He's doing quite well… in fact I've never seen him so happy…" Sirius replied. He didn't know why he felt compelled to lie to this woman, but he suspected part of the reason was that he didn't want to jeopardize Harry's living situation. In actuality, Harry seemed mostly withdrawn around him. Tonight was the first time he had seen Harry truly happy since he had come home.

"I hear that you are taking Harry to get his apparition license tomorrow and then going shopping-" she began.

"Yeah, so…"

"So… I hope that you realize how dangerous it is for Harry to go out in public. Proper precautions need to take place or else-"

"Molly, I'm perfectly capable of defending my godson!" Sirius exclaimed. "Do you really think I would put him in danger?"

"No of course not, but you both can be so reckless at times. I've spoken to the headmaster and we both agree that you should take an escort with you tomorrow just in case the Death Eaters try anything," she reasoned.

"I don't think that is necessary!" Sirius replied haughtily.

"Well I do, and so does Albus. You don't really have a choice in the matter. Either you take someone from the Order tomorrow or you don't go at all!" she yelled in her mother-like voice.

"Fine! Who's going to "_escort_" us?" Sirius said snidely, using his fingers to quote the word escort in the air.

"Tonks."

"Tonks! I love my cousin dearly but she's a bit-"

Molly cut him off seeming to agree with him. "I know, I know, but Dumbledore insists that Tonks is fully qualified for the job. Plus she has a knack for blending in. Harry doesn't even have to know she's there…"

"Alright…" he said. He patted Buckbeak one last time and reached for the door so he could leave.

"And Sirius…"

"Yeah?" he asked tiredly.

"Be careful."

He nodded and quietly left the room to rejoin the party.

* * *

A/N: Yea…. that was a very light and fluffy chapter. You know what that means. angst is on the way! Muahahaha… (cough, cough… hairball…) Okay, I'm better now. Don't forget to leave a review. 

A/N2: The song lyrics are from "_Celebrate"_ by Kool & The Gang. It's an oldie, but a goodie regardless of your age.

**Many thanks to all my readers and reviewers!**


	7. Male Bonding

A/N: Hey everyone… I know I have been infrequent with my updates but I do have a good excuse for this chapter. A couple of weeks ago I started this chapter and decided to save it on disk, instead of leaving it on in my hard drive where prying eyes might see… Well, somehow that disk became corrupted with a virus and I lost eight pages of work plus a wealth of research I had to do on the Ministry and Diagon Alley to pull this chapter off. With everything else going wrong in my life, it was just the icing on the cake. I have finally managed to motivate myself to rewrite it again. I'm trying to tell myself that this happened for a reason, but I loved that first draft. Oh well… I hope you enjoy this update after the long delay. Any comments you may have will be greatly appreciated.

**Chapter 7- Male Bonding**

Seeking a breath of fresh air to clear his mind, Remus found himself standing on the front porch of his cabin. It was still very early in the morning, and the sun had only just begun to rise. The trees were blowing gently back and forth as the cool breeze picked up their leaves and tossed them about. He shivered slightly as he watched a hawk take flight from a pine tree and wrapped his arms around himself, trying to preserve a bit of warmth. As chilly as it was out here, he also found the air to be rather refreshing. He breathed in deeply and inhaled the piney fresh scent. It was times like these that he was grateful that his parents had thought to build their home in this ancient forest when he was diagnosed with Lycanthropy. Virtually unadulterated by civilization, the woods that lay around his cabin seem to hold a history all of their own, like some forgotten whisper echoing stories of times long ago.

Standing there quietly, watching the awe inspiring scenery around him, Remus thought back to all the times he had stood in this very spot, thinking about things. It was something that he had learned to do as a small child when he first began to struggle to understand the uncertainly of his duel life as a wizard and a dark creature. The woods had always held a sense of fascination for him as a child, and there was a small part of him deep inside that longed to roam among the trees, wild and free. But he kept his wolf side at bay, knowing that he could never give in to primal desires, especially now that he had a cub to look after. Harry meant everything to him now.

In fact, it was the morning after Harry's birthday, and Remus was feeling unmistakably nervous… which had brought him out here in the first place. He was dreading the conversation that he was going to have to have with Harry today about the present Sirius had given him last night. And he hoped to collect his thoughts before he went to go speak with him. They had already made so much progress together, and he was worried that one wrong move could send Harry back to where he was before.

There was another thing that was bothering him as well. Although he trusted Sirius with Harry, the fact that he was taking Harry to the Ministry to get his Apparition license and then going on a shopping spree in Diagon Alley didn't sit very well with him. In the last few months he had spent as Harry's guardian, he had found himself falling deeper and deeper into a parental role. And giving up his rights as a parent, even temporarily, seemed overwhelmingly difficult right now. It wasn't that he was jealous of the two spending time together… Merlin knew that they needed some male bonding… but it scared Remus to no end to think that something may happen to Harry and he wouldn't be there for him. What if Death Eaters showed up in Diagon Alley? What if something went wrong at the Ministry again? What if… what if… what if!

As much as he tried to reassure himself that today would go off without a hitch, he couldn't shake the feeling that something may go wrong. A sense of dread had overcome him and it didn't seem to be going away. It had gotten to be so bad that he was beginning to feel a little unwell as a result.

He tried to reason that it was just his nerves, and not anything else. He hadn't slept all that well the night before and he was still feeling the effects of his last transformation. For some reason the last full moon had affected him more strongly than before. He knew that stress was a big factor in both his mental and physical well being, but he had no idea that he had been under such stress while dealing with Harry and Sirius's reunion until just now.

He took one last deep breath and turned to go back in the cabin. It was still very early in the morning, but he had been standing there for so long that he wasn't even sure if anyone else was awake yet in the house. He found the first floor to be unoccupied so he made his way upstairs figuring he would need to wake both Sirius and Harry if they wanted to make their appointment at the Ministry in time. They both tended to be late risers, which was the complete opposite of Remus, who was a morning person.

As he climbed the stairs and paused by the bathroom door, he heard Sirius's unmistakable baritone voice bellowing while in the shower. Remus chuckled to himself as his friend sang an old song a little off key. Thankfully, some things never change. Sirius seemed to be in rare spirits lately, and last night had really done wonders for him. He seemed to have been much more at ease around everyone at the party and was looking forward to his new found freedom.

Remus was overjoyed that his best mate was finally embracing his life once again, but he wasn't so naïve to think that he didn't still have a few demons in his closet. No one could go through what Sirius did and not still suffer some sort of repercussions. Sirius hadn't really opened up to him again since that first night alone at the cabin, so Remus had no way of knowing how he was dealing with things. In fact, he wasn't even sure if Sirius was still plagued by nightmares. As much as he wanted to continue to help his friend in a clinical sense, he respected that the man felt he was now capable of dealing with things on his own.

He passed the bathroom and made his way over to Harry's bedroom. He listened quietly outside Harry's door, wondering if Harry had been able to get up on his own after such a late night. He didn't hear a sound on the other side so he decided to knock lightly on the young teen's door. "Harry?" Remus called.

"Yeah…" a small voice replied on the other side.

Remus was surprised when he opened the door to find Harry already dressed for the day and looking very much awake. In fact it appeared as if he had been awake for quite a while, given the task he had currently set himself to. He was sitting at his desk with a pile of parchment and a well of ink in front of him, and appeared to be scribbling away rather furiously for it to be so early in the morning.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked lightly as he entered the room and closed the door behind him. He sat down on the bed just behind Harry and waited for a reply.

Harry gestured to the pile of opened gifts that were still strewn across his dresser on the floor waiting to be put away. The three of them had managed to get all the gifts home late last night, but were at a loss as to where to put it all. "Writing thank you cards…" Harry replied. He looked up from his writing briefly to look at Remus. He seemed to be looking for some sort of validation that what he was doing was the proper thing to do.

"That's very thoughtful of you Harry, but I'm sure that could wait a few days. No one ever expects a thank you so soon…" Remus said gently, wondering what had possessed Harry to rise so early to start such a menial task. A part of him suspected the real reason was Harry was truly grateful for everything he had been given. After surviving a childhood in which he never received anything that wasn't a hand-me down, he had come to appreciate the thoughtfulness of others.

"I thought I might as well get started. I do have to write a lot," Harry replied, with an easy smile. As uncomfortable as it made him, Harry couldn't hide the fact that receiving gifts and being remembered in general brought him a great deal of pleasure.

"I guess you do," Remus agreed. Harry did fact have many 'thank you's to write. The turn out at his surprise party had been amazing and Harry had graciously received more presents than he probably ever felt possible.

"Thank you again, Remus, by the way," Harry began. He placed his quill aside and turned his body so that he could face his guardian and rest his arm on the back of the chair. "I loved everything you managed to collect of my parents… it was very special…"

"You're welcome, Harry," Remus said warmly. Glancing up he noticed for the first time that Harry had taken all the old photos from the box of mementos he had received and had placed them on the wall in front of his desk. Remus made a mental note to get a frame for each one of them so that they could be displayed properly. "Did you have a good time last night?"

"The best… everything was so nice…" Harry shrugged and sheepishly added, "It was kind of overwhelming… with all the presents and everything…"

"I can imagine… "

"But I had a lot of fun," Harry said quickly, hoping to dispel any notions his guardian might have to the contrary.

Remus noticed that Harry was nervously twisting a ring around the finger of his left hand with his thumb. He recognized the design instantly and suspected where the ring may have come from. "That's a beautiful ring you got there. Was it a gift from Draco?" he asked.

Harry blushed deeply and replied, "Yeah."

Remus wanted to inquire further, but seeing the expression on Harry's face he knew better than to pry. If Harry wanted Remus to know about it then he would have said something further. For now it seemed that Harry wanted to keep its relevance a secret. The ring was obviously symbolic of Harry and Draco's relationship together, and he was genuinely happy for them. Harry needed Draco in his life, and the ring helped to solidify that the blonde's presence wasn't going away.

After a few moments of silence, Remus took a deep breath and decided that he might as well get this conversation over with. "Harry…the reason I came up here is… well… there is something I need to talk to you about," Remus began. He really did not want to be having this conversation, but he knew that it had to be done. The sooner, the better. A small knot had formed in his stomach as he began to worry about how Harry might react. He spied the long slender box that housed the dagger and retrieved it from the pile of gifts. He had meant to grab it last night, but found he didn't have an opportunity with Sirius around. "I don't know really how to say this…"

"I understand…" Harry said softly, lowering his eyes to the floor.

"What's that?" Remus asked curiously.

"That you don't want me to have the knife…" he replied, almost in a whisper.

Remus felt his heart sink as he heard the defeated tone in the small boy's voice. He hated having to do this, but he felt he was left with no other choice. "It's not that I don't want you to have it… or that I don't trust you… you've come so far in your recovery, but I would be a fool… and a poor guardian… if I knowingly allowed you to keep something… that you may use to harm yourself…"

"I get it… you don't need to explain…" Harry finally lifted his head to meet Remus's worried gaze. He gave a crooked little grin and shrugged a shoulder to show that he understood and that he wasn't all that bothered by the suggestion.

"I'm sorry…"Remus said, feeling somewhat relieved that Harry was being so understanding about all of this. "I'll keep it someplace safe… maybe someday…"

"I take it you didn't know about the dagger?" Harry asked carefully.

"No. I didn't," he replied sharply, anger evident behind his voice. He had been appalled when he saw the gift that Sirius had presented him, but he knew that his anger was misplaced. Sirius had no way of knowing that his godson was still struggling with issues of self mutilation.

Remus tucked the box into a large pocket of his robe and decided that he would hide it in one of his dresser drawers later. Hoping that he could lighten the mood, seeing that Harry was looking so despondent, he asked, "So… are you ready for today?"

"Yeah… I've been studying all week. I can't wait to get my apparition license. I never want to travel by floo or portkey again if I can help it," Harry exclaimed excitedly. He seemed to appreciate the change in subject as much as Remus did.

"Well, we'll see about that… as of right now the safest way you can see Draco and the Weasleys is by floo…"

"Oh yeah, right…" Harry said with smile. "But I still can't wait!"

"It is exciting coming of age, isn't it?" Remus sighed wistfully, remembering when he had turned seventeen. "Are you excited about your shopping trip as well?"

"I guess," Harry replied, sounding a little unsure of himself. "I really don't get why Sirius wants to spend any more money on me when he has _already_ bought me several birthday presents."

"Well, for one… he has a lot of money to blow… and he loves hanging out with you… and wants to spoil you rotten… and he has yet to enjoy life as a free man… and he" Remus had begun to count off all the reasons on his fingers and would have continued if Harry had not stopped him.

"Yeah, yeah… I get it…" Harry whined, rolling his eyes.

Remus chuckled softly and rose to his feet. He walked over and softly tousled Harry's messy hair lovingly. As he turned towards the door, he felt two small arms snake around his waist. Somewhat surprised, he reached around and hugged Harry back. Hugs from his teenage ward were rare, and he savored each and every one of them.

"Thanks again, Remus… for everything," Harry said softly.

"No problem… it was my pleasure."

Harry nodded and returned to writing his thank you notes, as Remus stepped into the hall. He paused for a moment, relishing the warm feeling that had overcome him, before setting off downstairs again.

Sirius must have finished his shower while Remus was talking to Harry, because he found him downstairs, pouring himself a cup of coffee at the kitchen counter. His hair was still slightly damp from the shower.

"Hey… you wanna cup?" Sirius asked as Remus approached.

"Sure," Remus said with a nod. He accepted the steaming hot mug of coffee and sipped it gratefully, still feeling a bit chilled from standing outside for so long. It didn't taste all that great- Sirius never could manage to make a decent cup- but it was wonderfully warm. They both took a seat at the kitchen table. Noticing the odd silence that now hung between them, he searched for something to talk about. Of course there was only one thing that came to mind. "Will you be leaving soon?"

"As soon as Harry's ready, I suppose," Sirius responded, sipping his own coffee carefully. He made a face at the bitter taste, but continued to drink it just the same. He must have noticed that pensive look on his friend's face because he asked, "What?"

"Nothing… why?" Remus really didn't feel like getting into it with Sirius this morning.

"I can tell when something is bothering you Rem, so out with it!" Sirius set his coffee cup down and folded his arms across his chest.

"I'm just worried that's all…" Remus stared down at the black liquid and traced the rim of the mug with his fingers.

"Why!"

"Because… anything could happen-" Remus began.

"-and you don't trust me!" Sirius finished for him, anger evident in his voice.

"That's not it at all, Siri. You know that Harry is a target. I would just feel better about all of this if I-"

"You're not coming…" Sirius said in a low voice that sounded almost like a growl. "I want to spend time with him alone…"

"I know, but…"

"Don't start! We've already been through all of this and you agreed that I could take Harry today without any interference from you… Besides, we'll have an Order member tailing us at all times."

Remus was quiet for a moment after that. He trusted both Sirius and Tonks, who would be following them, with his life, but he still couldn't shake his feeling of dread. He would feel so much better if he could only go with them. "Why is it so important to you that you take Harry alone today?" Remus finally asked.

"Because…" Sirius began, searching for a way to explain what he was feeling. "Because I lost an entire year with him. Harry thinks of you now as his father figure, for reasons I don't quite understand. I don't feel important in his life anymore… and I thought maybe if I did this with him today that he might realize that I might still be something more…"

"You're still his _godfather_," Remus tried to explain, realizing for the first time how his relationship with Harry had hurt Sirius's feelings.

"Yes, but you're his _guardian_."

Remus sighed sadly and realized he wasn't getting anywhere in this conversation. "Fine, do what you must. But be careful! Use constant vigilance!"

"You sound like Moody…" Sirius muttered.

"Yes, well be careful just the same. Voldemort could be anywhere right now…"

"I know that, Remus. Don't you think I know the consequences of running into Death Eaters better than anyone?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"I suppose…" Remus said sadly.

There were another few moments of silence. Finally, Sirius said in a soft voice, "Is it so much to ask that I spend some time alone with my godson?"

Remus looked up at him but didn't respond.

"Is it so much to ask that a man enjoys his freedom for the first time in nearly sixteen years?" Sirius intense grey eyes caught his amber brown ones, looking for understanding.

"No, its not. But I'm worried that not everyone will be as happy about your freedom as we are…"

Sirius eyed him carefully and then looked away in resignation. "I'm sure everything will be fine. Stop being such a worry wart, Rem…" And with that, Sirius got up, placed his coffee cup in the sink and went in search of Harry.

Remus decided to head outdoors again to get another bit of air. Maybe he could do some work outdoors around the cabin to get his mind off things. The knot in his stomach that had begun to form earlier had grown considerably. He just would not feel at ease again until Harry was home safe.

* * *

It had only been about six months since Harry had last been to the Ministry of Magic, and he couldn't shake the odd sense of déjà vu. He found himself walking with Sirius to the edge of the wards surrounding Villa de Luna, like he had done with Remus not so long ago. They had walked in relative silence, both still a bit tired from the party the night before. Neither one of them really knew what to say to the other. Harry was feeling a bit nervous, and he welcomed the silence so that he could review in his head what he had been studying about apparition. 

Once they were clear of the wards, Harry put his hand on Sirius's arm and held on as his godfather Apparated them both to the heart of downtown London. The pair walked briskly along the street that would lead them to the old telephone booth that served as the visitor's entrance to the Ministry. If possible the street and the buildings that lined it seemed to be in an even worse state of disrepair than when Harry had seen it last. Harry was sure that some of the locals had added their own "artwork" in recent months because some of the designs were of a nature that he did not recognize from his last excursion here. New graffiti had been added on top of the older artwork and the font was so strange looking, Harry could barely read what had been painted.

The old red telephone box came into view, and Harry couldn't shake the dark feeling that had overcome him. It had been over a year since Sirius had fallen through the veil. And although his godfather was alive and standing right beside him, all the old feelings of guilt and remorse had come rushing back. A thick lump had formed in the back of his throat, and he swallowed against it painfully.

Harry paused in front of the bi-fold door and turned to look back at Sirius.

"What is it, Harry?" he asked, seeing the worry on Harry's face.

He was feeling a little shaky, but he knew that he had to say this now or he would never find the courage to do it again. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I don't think I have ever told you that, but I am sorry."

"_Sorry_? For what? I'm not understanding…" Confusion was evident on his godfather's face, and Harry could tell he was desperately trying to wrack his brain for some memory to explain his odd apology.

"I'm sorry that you fell through the veil when you tried to come save me. I know how awful this past year must have been, and it's all my fault. I should have known better than to believe that false dream Voldemort had been sending me. If I had only used the mirror you gave me, or found some other way to contact you… none of this would have ever happened," he replied, his voice wavering slightly.

His godfather bent his knees slightly and stooped down to look Harry in the eyes. He grabbed both of Harry's hands and held them with his own. "Harry, it isn't your fault that I fell through the veil. You had no way of knowing that any of that would happen," Sirius tried to explain to him.

"But-" he tried to explain.

"No buts. I don't blame you for what happened, and you shouldn't either. Besides, if anyone is to blame then it would be Voldemort and my good for nothing cousin. If I remember correctly, it was Bellatrix that hexed me right before I fell."

"Yeah, it was…" Harry said softly, replaying the image of his godfather being cursed and the look on his face before he fell. "But-"

"So you see… you're not to blame," Sirius said earnestly.

Harry shrugged and gently pulled his hands away, feeling a tad uncomfortable under his scrutiny. Straightening up, Sirius asked, "What brought all this on?"

"I don't know… I guess coming back here and all…" Harry said sadly.

Sirius looked at him sympathetically, but there was a sadness behind his own eyes as well. "Well, there is no need to apologize. I'm just glad that you're okay. Do you still want to do this? Because it can wait for another day… we can just reschedule-"

"No! I want to do this," he said quickly. Seeing the odd expression on Sirius's face, he said, "Thanks for bringing me."

"No problem, Har," Sirius said with a smile.

Harry turned away and opened the doors to the booth. He fumbled with the receiver and began to type in the code necessary to speak with the receptionist down below. Typing in the code from memory, 6-2-4-4-2, he realized for the first time that it spelled out the word magic on the key pad. For some reason that made him smile, and helped quell some of the nervousness he was feeling.

Soon a friendly receptionist was heard on the other end of the line. "Hello, and welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and what your business is here."

"Our names are Sirius Black and Harry Potter… and we're here to get my Apparition license," Harry replied. He turned towards his godfather, who had now joined him the telephone booth and closed the door behind him.

"Thank you," said the receptionist. "Please submit to a search and present your wand for registration if you have not already done so at the security desk at the far end of the Atrium."

Harry hung up the phone as the line went dead. Two small silver badges bearing their names appeared in the coin return, and Sirius and Harry promptly pinned them on. Almost immediately, the telephone booth began to descend below the streets of London towards the subterranean offices of the Ministry of Magic.

Soon the doors opened to reveal the Atrium, which was the main corridor of the Ministry of Magic. Like before, Harry stared at the lobby before him lost in memory. Even a year later, he still couldn't shake the image of his duel with Bellatrix Lestrange and Voldemort trying to possess him. He didn't even want to think about what would happen if Dumbledore hadn't shown up. Harry still found it odd that there wasn't a single trace of the battle left in this pristine corridor. It was almost as if it had never happened.

Glancing up Harry noticed that Sirius seemed a little uneasy all of a sudden as well. It was then that he realized how difficult this must be for him. He seemed to be lost in some sort of memory. The last time he had been here was right before he had fallen through the veil. Sirius had rushed to the Ministry the second he learned his godson was in trouble and paid a horrible price for his concern- almost a year in Limbo because of one wrong step and a hateful curse. Harry knew for some reason that the psychological torture he experienced in that strange place still haunted his dreams.

Seemingly come out of his trance, Sirius motioned them to move forward. They quickly moved across the long hallway, dodging the witches and wizards that were popping in and out of the gilded fireplaces that lined the Atrium's walls. Glancing upwards, as he always did, Harry searched the peacock blue ceiling that served as a large bulletin board for some kind of information about Voldemort's whereabouts. He had not received a vision in a very long time, but his scar was increasingly becoming bothersome. He felt odd little twinges nearly all the time now and he was at a loss as to what it meant.

The only messaged written in the swirling gold lettering was, "_Death Eater activity in Europe still remains unusually quiet…" _

Unfortunately, that message did nothing to ease Harry's mind. He wasn't sure exactly what that meant for the wizarding world, but he didn't feel like expending any more energy this morning thinking about it. Today was supposed to be a happy day, and he was determined to find himself in good spirits around his godfather no matter what. He knew that his behavior around Sirius had been strange, mainly because he was trying to hide so many secrets, but he hoped that they could reconnect somehow.

They soon passed the Fountain of Magical Brethren and made their way down the hall towards the lifts. Upon reaching the golden gates at the far end of the hall, Sirius and Harry were motioned to the security desk to state their business. Sam, the security guard he met last year, was on duty again.

The guard looking looked at the names on their badges. "State your business please," Sam asked, getting ready to write their response into his log book with a rather formal looking quill.

"I'm taking my godson to get his Apparition license today," Sirius replied proudly.

"Really? You seem a little young to me. Have you come of age already, Mr. Potter?" asked Sam, eyeing up Harry carefully.

"Yes. I turned seventeen yesterday," Harry said in frustration. He knew that he was small, but he hated it when people thought he was younger than he really was. It wasn't his fault he had been starved most of his life, leaving him quite a bit shorter than the rest of his classmates.

"Okay, okay… didn't mean to offend you. Do you need to register your wands?" the security guard asked.

"Nope. I think we're all set," Harry replied, anxious now to get to the testing center.

"Actually, I need to register mine," Sirius replied, pulling his wand from his pocket. Harry nodded remembering now that Sirius's wand was new. He had lost his original wand when he fell through the veil last year.

When the ministry learned of his innocence and that he had "mysteriously" shown up again, they had granted him a full pardon and a mild monetary compensation for all his years spent in Azkaban. Fudge even went so far as to bring Ollivander to St. Mungo's to present him with a new wand. The Ministry had just assumed that since Sirius's first wand was snapped when he was imprisoned that he had not gotten another. After a tedious search through all the wands Ollivander brought, he was finally able to determine what would be the best fit for Sirius.

"Step over here." Sam held up a long golden rod, thin and flexible, and passed it up and down Sirius's back. He then took Sirius's wand and dropped onto a brass instrument that looked like a set of scales with only one dish. A narrow bit of parchment came out from the slit at the base.

"Fourteen inches, dragon heart-string core, mahogany, been in use just over a month?"

"That sounds about right," Sirius replied. Sam made the proper notations in his log book before handing it back to him.

Seeing that they were now free to leave, Harry led the way towards a small hall just past the golden gates beside the security desk. They would need to take a lift to the Apparition Test Center.

A sign to the left of the lift doors indicated the departments on each level. The current position in the lifts near the Atrium was on Level Eight. Scanning over the other nine levels, Harry saw that the Department of Magical Transportation was located on Level Six. The Apparition Test Center was located there, as well as the Floo Network Authority, Broom Regulatory Control, and the Portkey Office. He pressed the button for Level Six and felt the lift drop two floors rather quickly.

After stepping off of the lift, they quickly found the Apparition Test Center. Sirius opened the door and motioned to Harry to go inside. The lobby on the other side was stark white and contained only a reception desk and a few chairs that lined the walls on either side of the door. He quickly noticed his friend sitting beside his grandmother on the far wall.

"Hey, Neville," said Harry, as the still slightly chubby boy rose to greet him.

"Hi, Harry. Happy Birthday. How was your party?" asked Neville.

"It was awesome… and Happy Belated Birthday to you too…" he replied with an easy smile.

Neville glanced over his shoulder at his grandmother and then looked back at Harry. Lowering his voice he whispered, "Sorry I couldn't make it to your party. I wanted to be there, but Gran planned a family party for me. It was a real snore… let me tell you. I really had wanted to come."

"I wish you could've been there too… maybe we can plan to do something together next year since our birthdays are only a day apart?" Harry offered.

"I would like that," Neville replied. The teen suddenly got a startled look on his face and said "Erm… hello…" to someone behind Harry.

Turning his head slightly, Harry saw that Sirius was now standing behind him watching them carefully. "Neville, I don't think I have ever gotten a chance to introduce you to my godfather… this is Sirius Black, Sirius this is my friend Neville Longbottom," Harry said, gesturing back and forth between them.

Although he looked somewhat frightened, Neville offered his hand politely anyway. Sirius responded with a firm handshake and said, "Pleased to meet you Neville. I've heard a lot about you."

Harry knew that was an outright lie, seeing that he had never told Sirius anything about Neville other than that they were friends, but he was pleased that he had made an effort to be friendly towards Neville.

"Likewise," Neville responded, looking a little more at ease.

"Ahem…" Neville's grandmother cleared her voice loudly and then with a stern look, gestured to her grandson to return to his seat beside her.

Although his grandmother was a big supporter of Dumbledore and never had any problems with Neville's friendship with Harry in the past, it was clear from her attitude right now that she didn't wand Neville associating with Sirius. Although his godfather had been cleared of all charges, Harry had to assume that Neville's grandmother still had her reservations about him, as many people probably did. Sirius glared at her angrily, but didn't say a word. He simply turned around and walked toward the reception desk.

"I guess I should go sit back down…" Neville said looking slightly embarrassed. "Sorry…"

Harry nodded in understanding. Neville sat down beside his grandmother, looking quite miserable. The older woman looked quite stately in her regal robes, perfectly manicured nails, and gray hair swooped up into a tight chignon. Very much the picture of what should be prim and proper. No wonder Neville looked so uncomfortable next to her… he was the exact opposite in every way. It was amazing to think that he was even raised by her.

Harry followed Sirius to the reception desk thinking about Mrs. Longbottom's peculiar behavior. He knew that they might encounter people who were still terrified of him on their trip today, but he hadn't thought that it would be this soon. He felt badly for his friend, and hoped that his home life wasn't as bad as it seemed.

"Do you have an appointment?" the pretty blond receptionist asked them. Harry nodded at her. "Name?"

Sirius's face seemed to light up at the sight of a pretty lady. Harry realized that it had probably been a long time since he had the opportunity to be with a woman, and he wasn't going to pass up any chance to get to know someone new. He had the impression that Sirius was quite the lady's man in his day. His godfather beamed at her and said in a suave voice, "Harry Potter…"

At first the receptionist seemed really surprised to hear that name. She looked at Harry curiously and then back at Sirius making sure she had heard right. She then checked her schedule and replied, "Ah, yes… you're right here. Your apparition license testing will be overseen by Proctor Jonathon Ambrose. You may have a seat while you wait." She batted her pretty blue eyes at Sirius and smiled brightly.

"We'll do that, thanks," Sirius replied casually. He smiled at her again and turned away from the desk to go sit down.

Harry couldn't help but notice that the two of them were flirting with each other. He rolled his eyes as he took a seat across the room from Neville and his grandmother. As much as he wanted to talk to his old friend right now he figured that it would be better if they kept a safe distance. He didn't want to infuriate the old woman because she seemed the type that might somehow prevent their friendship if he got on her bad side.

Harry picked up a Witch Weekly, the only magazine he could find in the lobby, and began to thumb through it half-heartedly. However, the longer he sat there, the more nervous he became. Sensing his uneasiness, Sirius asked "Are you ready?"

"I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I've got the theory behind Apparition down pretty well. I'm just worried about splinching myself somehow during the test," Harry replied truthfully. Lately, he was finding it easier and easier to talk to Sirius.

"I'm sure you'll do fine. Your mother and father never had any problems their first times. You're going to be great," he offered.

"Thanks," Harry replied.

Instead of making him feel better, however, Sirius had inadvertently made him feel a whole lot worse. Sadly, today was just another reminder, like many other milestones that would occur in his life, that he didn't have his parents there with him to share the moment. It was nice that Sirius wanted to be here for him, but today was difficult all the same. His parents weren't here to see him come of age magically or get his license. Nor would they see him graduate from Hogwarts or see him get married- if that was even a possibility for him and Draco. It wasn't something that he thought about a whole lot, but once in a while that realization crept up on him and he was left feeling a bit sad about it all. How would things have been different if they had survived that fateful Halloween night?

Harry found that he didn't have to wait very long for his test to begin. Soon a young man dressed in brown robes, who was presumably the testing proctor, opened the door to the left of the reception desk and called for the next testing applicants. "Neville Longbottom? Harry Potter?"

Both teens rose and walked to the doorway, closely followed by their accompanying guardians. Both Sirius and Neville's grandmother took a protective stance behind the boys, only Mrs. Longbottom seemed to be eyeing Sirius rather nervously.

Their proctor wasn't much older than Percy, and seemed just as full of himself. He carried an air about him that much the way Percy used to. "Hello, I'm Proctor Jonathon Ambrose. You may call me Jon."

"Hello," Harry and Neville both said at the same time.

Jon seemed to all but ignore Neville, however. He was staring at Harry rather peculiarly. "So you're the Boy-Who-Lived, eh? The great Harry Potter…" the man began. "Somehow I thought you would be taller. Is it really true that you have a scar?"

"Er… yeah…" Harry replied, his face growing red with embarrassment. He reached up and flattened his fringe against his forehead, hoping to keep his scar well hidden. Just once in his life he wanted to do something without his fame getting in the way.

"I was hoping that I would get a chance to meet you…The Ministry informed us all what happened last year when You-Know-Who got in and I was wondering-"

"Excuse me, but can we get on with this?" Sirius asked, interrupting Jon. "I hardly think it's appropriate to be asking Harry these questions right now." Much to Harry's relief, Sirius seemed to be just as irritated with Jon's annoying questions as he was.

"Yes, of course," the proctor said in a very business like tone. They were led down a narrow hallway that opened up into an enormous room. It reminded Harry of a Muggle gymnasium because the ceiling was incredibly high and the walls looked like they were made of cinder block and painted an awful yellow.

"Alright, gentleman, it's time to begin. I trust you both have studied the _Ministry's Tips and Guidelines to Getting Your Apparition License_?" asked Jon. Both Harry and Neville nodded, taking out their wands. "Then who would like to go first?"

"Um… why don't you go first, Harry…I'm still a little unsure about all of this…" Neville suggested.

His grandmother tutted at his reply and crossed her arms over her chest. "Nonsense, Neville. You're a pure-blooded wizard and you come from a long line of powerful magic. You need to stop this self-deprecating behavior before it gets you into trouble one day. You will do fine."

"Yes, Gran…" Neville replied obediently. He took a few steps forward with a defeated look on his face.

Harry could tell from the way Neville was gripping his wand that he was extremely nervous… way more nervous than he was. "It's alright…I'd like to go first if you don't mind," Harry offered. Neville gave him a grateful smile and returned to stand beside his grandmother. Harry knew from his experience leading the DA during their fifth year that Neville learned best by example.

Harry approached the proctor and gave an anxious glance towards Sirius. Now that this day had finally come, he was more nervous now than ever. He was rewarded with a smile and a slight nod.

"Mr. Potter, if you would stand here on this x on the floor we can begin."

Harry complied and listened intently to what Jon had to say next. "Now, the whole point of apparition is to transport oneself from one location to another safely. This involves a great deal of concentration. Any waver of concentration in your mind could leave your body splinched. Lucky for you the Ministry as healers on duty in case such an event happens."

Harry gulped noticeably and felt his stomach do a flip flop. He just kept reminding himself that if Ron, Draco, Hermione, and the twins could do this, than so could he.

"I'm sure that will not be necessary, seeing that you are Harry Potter, but we must take precautions," said Jon. Harry didn't appreciate his attitude about all of this, but he didn't dare say anything about it. This man currently held the power to grant his license or to take it away.

"Now, I want you to concentrate on the x on the other side of the room. Do you see it?"

Harry nodded and thought about what he needed to do.

"Alright. Whenever you are ready, we may begin," said Jon.

Harry stared intently at his destination until he was sure he had memorized how far he had to go. It seemed to be at least 100 feet away. He closed his eyes tightly and felt his magic well up inside of him as he focused on where he wanted to go. He heard a loud _CRACK_ and he opened his eyes.

To his surprise, he was on the other side of the room. His head felt slightly dizzy, but other than that he was still in one piece. Glancing down he saw that he was standing on the other x perfectly. His heart swelled with pride for himself, as he heard Neville and Sirius cheering excitedly for him from across the room.

"Alright Harry. I want you to try to apparate back," Jon called to him.

Again, Harry concentrated with all of his might and felt that familiar surge of magic rise within him until he heard a _CRACK._

Opening his eyes, he saw that he had safely returned. However, only one foot had landed on the x. Harry was concerned that he had somehow failed the test and looked up at Jon expectantly.

"Close enough! Well done, Mr. Potter. I knew you had it in you," Jon praised. Neville and Sirius began applauding loudly and whistling in admiration. Mrs. Longbottom turned her nose up in disgust at such unruly behavior.

"Am I done? Did I pass?" Harry asked excitedly. He hadn't felt a rush like this since his last Quidditch match.

Jon smiled softly. "Unfortunately, no… It's one thing to apparate across a room, it's quite another to apparate to a location you can't see."

"So what do I have to do?" he asked.

"Well, do you think you can apparate back to the visitor's entrance, you know the old telephone booth, and back again?" Jon asked, raising his eyebrow.

"You mean that anyone can just apparate in and out of the Ministry? Isn't that dangerous? I thought with the Death Eaters breaking in last year that security would be tighter," Harry said in an exasperated voice.

Jon shook his head and replied, "Actually, security here is rather tight. Each department is warded so that only the proper staff can apparate in and out of their respective offices. However, most choose to use the floo network, which is also specially warded to prevent another attack. Your appointment today allows you a small window of time to apparate in and out of this specially designed room so the wards don't go off. Once you and Mr. Longbottom leave, the wards will be put back in place."

"It seems like a very poor system. Aren't you worried that Death Eaters will Apparate in here during someone's appointment?" Sirius commented.

"I never thought of it that way… but I suppose so. Well, anyway, I assure you that it is perfectly safe. Are you ready Mr. Potter?" Jon asked.

"I think so…" Harry said slowly, beginning to worry once again about splinching himself.

"Excuse me, but for safety reasons I feel it necessary to Apparate with my godson," Sirius said suddenly.

"That usually isn't allowed… but under the circumstances… I guess I can let it go. Just make sure that you do not interfere with him Apparating in anyway. He needs to do this on his own," Jon warned.

Sirius hadn't really heard a word Jon said and was all but ignoring him. He turned toward Harry, his eyes bright with enthusiasm. "Ready Harry?" Sirius asked, with a big grin on his face.

Harry nodded, closed his eyes, and began to focus on the telephone booth outside. Within seconds he found himself outdoors staring at the ugly Muggle contraption. He was feeling much more disoriented than he had before, but all feelings of uneasiness dissipated quickly realizing what he had accomplished. He heard another audible crack and found Sirius standing before him.

"You did it! I'm so proud of you!" Sirius exclaimed, clapping Harry affectionately on the shoulder. "I knew you could do it."

"That was so much easier than I thought!" Harry confessed. "And much better than traveling by floo." Apparating might leave him feeling slightly dizzy, but it was much better than tumbling out of a fireplace covered in soot or traveling by portkey, which he had never been able to do without thinking of the third task during his fourth year.

"I told ya!" Sirius said, chuckling lightly.

Harry was feeling almost as happy as he had last night at his party, and was glad that Sirius was a part of today. He secretly wished Remus could be here too, but he didn't dare voice that aloud.

They apparated back quickly and were told that Harry had passed successfully. Just as Sirius was about to leave, Harry yelled, "Wait! I want to be here for Neville like he was for me." His godfather nodded, and together they stood off to the side to watch his friend take his test.

Unfortunately, Neville was having a lot more difficulty than Harry was. He hadn't splinched himself, but he also hadn't moved any farther than a few feet at a time. He was becoming increasingly frustrated with himself and the proctor wasn't doing much to help him. Harry was almost positive that a lot of his self-consciousness right now stemmed from the demanding glare of his grandmother. Her facial expressions were so much like Snape's it was scary. It was no wonder Neville always did so poorly in Potions.

After he had managed to only move about twenty feet on his fourth try, Neville looked over at him and said, "I appreciate you sticking around for me Harry, but I might be here a while. I know you have plans today. Why don't you and your godfather get going and I'll owl you later?"

"Are you sure?" Harry asked, feeling badly for his friend.

"I'm sure. Thanks," he replied.

"Okay, bye Neville!" Harry called, following Sirius out in the reception area.

To his surprise his Apparition license was already printed on a certificate and was waiting for him. Sirius took the license from the pretty receptionist and bid her farewell. He handed it to Harry, who quickly cast a shrinking spell and placed the document in his wallet for safe keeping.

"Do you think you can apparate all the way to Diagon Alley? I don't think it's too far away for you, and you haven't had any trouble yet?" Sirius asked.

Harry would have like to have stopped by and seen Arthur, or maybe even Percy seeing that they were getting along better now, but he wasn't sure if their offices allowed visitors. Deciding that they should probably be on their way he asked, "But where would we apparate to? Doesn't it have to be a specific place that I can concentrate on?"

Sirius thought about it a moment. "Hmm… how about just outside Gringott's… that's where we're supposed to meet… I mean that's probably a good place to start…"

Harry noticed the slip, but decided to let it go for now. He closed his eyes and tried to picture the wizarding bank run by goblins in his mind. "Yeah, I think I can do it."

"Okay, on the count of three. One… two… three!"

And with two loud _CRACKS_ he and Sirius disapparated.

* * *

Sirius was greatly relieved to see that both he and Harry had apparated to Gringott's safely. Seeing the dizzying expression on Harry's face, he reached out and steadied the poor boy carefully. Apparating could take a lot out of you magically, especially if it was your first time, and he wanted to be sure that his godson was okay. 

"So where to first?" Harry asked, his eyes bright with excitement over his recent achievement.

"If you don't mind, I would like to make a quick stop into Gringott's to get my affairs in order," Sirius explained. He had yet to go to the bank and check on his vaults since he had come home. He was pretty sure that the bank had no way of knowing about his "disappearance," but he wanted to check on everything just the same.

Harry nodded agreeably. "Okay. That'll give me a chance to stop by my vault as well."

Sirius sighed in frustration, realizing that his godson was still not getting the whole point of today's excursion. He had always wanted to spoil Harry rotten, and realizing the type of childhood he probably had, Sirius wanted to do it now more than ever. Those good for nothing relatives of his had never spent a dime on him that wasn't necessary. Even if Harry had already received numerous presents last night, that wasn't going to stop Sirius from buying him anything and everything he wanted. And he certainly had the money to do so. "Harry, I told you that you don't need any money today. I'm buying everything!"

"I know, but I always feel more comfortable if I have a bit of pocket change on me at all times," his godson confessed.

Sirius could certainly understand that feeling of security and muttered, "Fine!" under his breath.

They climbed the steps of the blazing white marble building and entered the wizarding bank. Goblins eyed them both warily and followed their every move. After seeing to his financial affairs, visiting their vaults, and exchanging some coins into Muggle money, Sirius and Harry made their way outside into the afternoon sunshine.

As they descended the stone steps, an old lady behind them tripped and pitched forward precariously. Hearing her cry out, Harry thoughtfully turned around and helped her up. A knowing smile crossed his face as if he had suddenly realized something.

"What's that look for?" Sirius asked curiously. He certainly knew the identity of the old lady following him, but he couldn't be sure if Harry had figured it out yet.

"Oh nothing…" Harry replied, brushing off his clothing casually.

"C'mon… what is it?" Sirius asked, stopping mid stride.

"I was just wondering how long Tonks had been following us around Gringott's…"

"What? How did you know?" Sirius asked curiously, motioning to the old lady to come closer. Outwardly, she appeared to be quite elderly. Numerous wrinkles lined her face and her hair was almost white. She walked over quickly, with no sign of age evident in her gait.

"I just know Tonks's mannerisms by now… and besides, it's not every day you see a witch with pink eyes," Harry said, chuckling to himself.

"Tonks!" Sirius scolded the witch. "How could you be so foolish? If Harry can see through your disguise, then who else could?"

"Sorry, I thought I was being careful. I didn't mean to trip… Wotcher, Harry!" Tonks said cheerfully, giving him a wink.

"Hey Tonks," Harry replied. "What's going on? Why are you following us?"

"The Order felt that you needed some extra protection, you know… just in case," she replied.

"Oh," said Harry lamely.

Sirius saw the look on his face and decided that he just needed to be reassured. "I don't like it anymore than you do, but I guess the safer we are the better, right?"

Harry shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. Is she going to follow us all day?"

"Yeah. Sorry kiddo, but it was the only way I would be allowed to take you out today." It was the truth too. Remus, Molly, and Albus had all gotten on his case about taking Harry out without additional protection. It was decided that they would have an Order member tail them at all times as security.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry asked, looking at little hurt that he had been left out of the loop.

Sirius was starting to wonder if this little blunder was going to cause another rift between them. "Because I thought it would bother you that you needed a personal bodyguard everywhere you go."

"Well it does bother me…" he mumbled.

"Would you rather Tonks change into another disguise so that you hardly know that she's there?"

"No, it's alright," Harry replied with a sigh.

"Well, let's be going then. Where do you want to go first?" Sirius asked.

"Actually… can we go to the Magical Menagerie?" Harry asked, glancing up the street at the large store that was a couple of shops down from Gringott's.

"Why do you want to go there? If you're out of owl treats for Hedwig than we should go to Eeylops Owl Emporium, they have the best selection there," Sirius suggested as they started walking.

"Well, I kind of wanted to get something for my friend's pet…it's not an owl…" Harry explained quickly, as Sirius followed him into the store. Tonks stayed behind to stand guard outside and watch for any suspicious activity.

"Do you mean Crookshanks?" Sirius asked, inquiring about his old feline friend.

"No… but I should probably get something for him too or he might get jealous. I wanted to get something for Jinx." Harry began browsing the many aisles, seemingly looking for something in particular.

"Jinx. Who's Jinx?"

"You met her before. She's Draco's Kneazle," Harry explained. "She helped us find the temple on Donn Island, and I haven't really had the chance to give her something in thanks until now."

"Oh," Sirius said lamely.

The store's owner quickly came over to assist them. She was a witch who wore heavy black spectacles that seemed like they might fall off her face they were so large. They made her eyes look unusually large. Sirius watched as she helped Harry pick out a few treats and a couple of toys for his friends' pets.

He could appreciate the fact the Kneazle had somehow helped in his rescue, however minute her role, but he didn't really get why Harry felt the need to buy something for Draco's pet. In fact the whole notion of buying gifts for another person's familiar was somewhat bizarre, but he felt he was in no place to judge Harry or his actions.

Sirius still didn't approve of Harry's friendship with Draco, and their odd closeness with one another last night at the party had also left him rather confused. Although he said he would pay for everything today, he didn't move to pay for any of the things Harry picked out. There was no way he was buying a toy for a Slytherin's pet! His godson seemed to understand and fished a few sickles to cover the expense. This was probably the reason why Harry had insisted on visiting his own vault today as well.

Stepping back outside, they met up with Tonks again, who was still in disguise. They decided to skip Gambol & Japes Wizarding Joke Shop since Harry already had quite a stock of Weasley's Wizarding Whizzes from Fred and George. And the rest of the obscure stores up Diagon Alley didn't hold much interest to them either. They decided to head back down the cobblestone pathway towards the Leaky Cauldron.

Spying Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor, Sirius said, "Hey, let's get some ice cream!"

"But we haven't even had lunch yet!" Harry argued.

Sirius smiled, knowing that Harry probably rarely dared to do such frivolous things such as skipping a meal in order to devour a sundae. "So what! We'll make it our lunch. What do you say?"

"Okay," Harry said excitedly. He rushed over to the small ice cream shop and began browsing the menu inside.

"What looks good?" asked Sirius, standing beside him with Tonks, who would be joining them for a snack.

"I don't know… everything looks good…" Harry looked a little flustered with all the choices.

"What do you usually get?" he asked.

"Oh, I don't know… I don't eat ice cream very often… I like chocolate…"

"That's it, I'm doing the ordering. We will have three mocha grande hot fudge sundaes please… with extra whipping cream, nuts, and cherries…" Sirius ordered.

"Yum!" Tonks replied eagerly.

Since it was so nice outside they decided to eat their sundaes out on the patio. Sirius watched in amusement as Harry ate his ice cream. Most teenagers his age would lap it up as fast as possible, but not Harry. He seemed to savor each and every bite.

He watched as Harry methodically dipped his spoon into his desert and gathered a little bit of everything before popping it into his mouth. A piece of metal suddenly glinted in the sun, drawing Sirius's attention to his other hand, which was holding the base of the sundae's glass bowl. On the ring finger of his left hand was a beautifully platinum ring covered in an intricate design of a dragon. A single emerald adorned its eye. It was quite spectacular to say the least. Sirius couldn't remember ever seeing it before and wondered where it came from.

"That's an amazing ring you got there, Har. Did you get it for your birthday?" he asked curiously.

"Um… yeah…" Harry said quickly. A panicked look crossed his eyes and his face became noticeably redder.

"Really? I don't remember you opening it. Who is it from?" Sirius pressed.

"Oh… I got so many wonderful presents, I can't remember who gave me what anymore…" Harry said quickly. He removed his hands from the sundae and began to wipe them on a napkin nervously.

Sirius wanted to continue to question him about it, but had a feeling that they would only end up butting heads again like they had about everything else. He wanted today to be perfect, and arguing was not on the agenda so he let the issue drop. It wasn't important anyway.

They finished their sundaes quickly and as they were about to leave, they began to notice several witches and wizards whispering and pointing at them. Some had rude expressions on their faces and Sirius knew they had probably recognized him. He motioned Harry and Tonks to start walking.

As he walked pass one particular couple of witches he heard one say, "I can't believe the Ministry thinks that he's innocent!" Sirius just glared at her as they crossed the road to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.

As far as Sirius knew, Harry didn't own any robes other than his school robes and one set of formal robes. He had received a beautiful winter cloak last night from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, but otherwise Harry was seriously lacking in wizarding apparel. They spend a lot time browsing and laughing at all the new style's that were coming out now. Both Harry and Sirius couldn't imagine anyone wearing day glow orange robes trimmed in yellow frog skin, but apparently it was a hot item. Many of the other customers in the store looked at them strangely, but Sirius couldn't determine if it was because of their rowdy behavior or if they recognized them.

They probably spent an hour or so in the fitting rooms trying everything on. Surprisingly, it was a lot of fun and both got a kick out of bringing outlandish items for the other to try on. By the time they were finished, Sirius had bought Harry six new robes and a few for himself. Most were for causal wear, but he also got Harry another set of formal robes figuring he would soon outgrow his old one. He even got one that automatically adjusted according to the temperature outside.

Harry tried to protest the purchase and even tried to pay for at least a percentage of it, but Sirius out right refused. Today was just something that he had to do. In a small way he felt like he was making up for all the years he missed out on Harry's childhood. These were the things that he would have naturally bought for his godson, and today would be no different.

Shrinking their packages so they were more manageable to carry, Sirius led them past Flourish and Blott's towards Quality Quidditch Supplies. There he bought Harry some conditioning oil for the new dragon hide pads Remus had bought him and a new broom servicing kit. They stuck around a while longer marveling at all the new brooms that had come out since Sirius had bought Harry his firebolt. He mentioned buying Harry a new one, but his godson wouldn't allow it.

All in all, today had been a perfect day so far. That was until they stepped outside the Quidditch shop.

"It's Sirius Black! And he's with Harry Potter!" A woman cried in fear.

"I told you he was here!" another voice yelled. "How can they just let a mass murderer walk around free like this?"

"Murderer!" a few voices yelled.

"He should be put back in Azkaban!"

Harry and Sirius had stopped in mid-step and found that there were nearly twenty people gathered in front of the shop, all looking quite put out at Sirius's presence. Tonks moved protectively in front of them, and the gawkers looked amused that a little old lady was trying to defend them.

"He's a Death Eater! I can't believe the Ministry or Dumbledore is allowing him to shop here! And with the Boy-Who-Lived! Has the whole wizarding world gone mad? He escaped from Azkaban for Merlin's sake," a man called, pointing his finger at Sirius.

Sirius felt an unexplainable rage start coursing through him. He was framed from murder, sentenced to a life term in Azkaban, and then spent a year in Limbo and he had never done a thing wrong. Even if he had, hadn't he already paid his dues? Why couldn't he just live his life without all of these complications? All he wanted to do was to hex these people to get them out of his way, but he knew that wouldn't be the right thing to do with Harry around. There were a thousand things he wanted to say to these people, but he couldn't seem to connect his mouth to what his brain wanted to say.

"Come here Mr. Potter," a woman called to Harry in a sweet voice. "We'll keep you safe from him. You don't need to be afraid." Several others began calling to him too.

Harry had an alarmed look on his face. He suddenly shouted, "Shut up! I'm not afraid! Sirius Black is my godfather and in case you haven't read the papers… he's innocent! He was framed all those years ago. Why can't you just let him be?"

"Harry it's alright…" Sirius tried to say, seeing how upset he was becoming.

"No it's not alright! Peter Pettigrew is your mass murderer! He's been tried and thrown into Azkaban for his crimes. Why can't you let my godfather just be!" he screamed.

"Even if he was innocent, he could still be a Death Eater!"

"Is it proof that you want? Then here!" Sirius yelled, rolling up the sleeve of his left forearm. "See! No mark. I am not, nor have I ever been, a Death Eater. Now just leave us alone!"

Sirius grabbed their packages and bags in one arm and reached for Harry with the other. With a firm grip on him he quickly led them to the entrance of the Leaky Cauldron. Glancing over his shoulder he could see Tonks dutifully following them. Luckily, the angry mob had not followed them, and was now muttering to each other about the lack of the Dark Mark on his arm.

"Tonks, you could have warned us about what was going on out there!" Sirius scolded, stepping through the magical portal in the brick wall. They then passed several trash cans as they navigated the small alleyway.

"I'm sorry. I didn't have any time. I was trying to block them from entering the store!" she explained.

The three of them walked abruptly into the Leaky Cauldron, startling the few patrons that were there. Hushed whispers began flying around the room and it appeared as if the scene they had encountered on the street was going to happen again here.

"What are we going to do?" asked Tonks.

"We could just head back to the cabin," Harry suggested.

"NO!" Sirius yelled, a little louder than he expected. "I'm mean… no, I'm not going to allow anyone to ruin our day. I'm spending time with my godson god dammit and no one is going to stop me!"

"I don't think it's really wise to go back to Diagon Alley. At least not right now. People are still adjusting to the fact that you're innocent," said Tonks lightly.

"What is there to adjust to? I am a free man and I can do what I want. I don't see how it's any of their god damn business!" Sirius yelled, pointing at the customers in the pub.

"Sirius…keep your voice down," Harry warned him.

Tom, the bald and toothless owner of the Leaky Cauldron, walked over to them to see what was going on. "Can I help you?" he asked in a tone voice that clearly meant, "_Why are you disturbing my customers?"_

"Actually, my godson and I would like to shop in London for a few hours, but we don't want to carry all these bags. Could we possibly store are things in a spare room?" Sirius asked quickly, eyeing the glaring customers.

"Will there be some form of compensation?" Tom asked, robbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Yes, of course."

"Done!" Tom said. With a flick of his wand he banished all the packages into one of the back rooms and held his palm out. Sirius paid him with a galleon and led Harry out the main entrance by the elbow. They left the small, shabby-looking inn and stepped out onto Charing Cross Road.

When they got outside, Harry shrugged away and said, "Stop man handling me! What's going on? What are we doing?"

"I thought we were still shopping," Sirius said, sounding disappointed.

"I guess we could, but neither of us seem like we are really in the mood any more. Can't we just go home?" Harry asked.

"Maybe you should," suggested Tonks.

Sirius ignored her. "Do you really want to?" Sirius asked, hoping the answer was no.

"I don't know. I'm just not sure I want to go shopping anymore…" Harry responded, glancing down. Today had already been somewhat stressful. He hoped that he could lift his godson's spirits again. He loved hearing him laugh.

"I don't care what we do as long as we spend some time together," Sirius replied.

"What will we do?" Harry asked.

"Anything you want…"

"Okay," Harry said with a grin.

With good intentions in mind they started on their way, having no way of knowing just how trying the rest of their day would be.

* * *

A/N: Okay, the next chapter is the one you have all been waiting for. Sorry it took so long to build up to it, but that's what we writers do… build suspense. The event that reveals how Sirius finds out about everything will take place in the next chapter and the drama that will unfold will be amazingly intense. I can't wait for you to read it. 


	8. Something wicked this way comes

A/N: Hey everyone…just so you know, in order for this chapter to work, I had to switch points of view a lot. I also had to write some of the scenes from a _new_ point of view… a character we haven't yet seen in any of my stories. Curious yet? You should be! Don't worry; it will all make sense in the end once that person's identity is revealed. I'm sure you will all figure it out long before I tell you though. It's pretty obvious, but still shocking.

**Chapter 8-** **Something wicked this way comes…**

"Where to?" Sirius asked, as they began walking away from the Leaky Cauldron.

"Er… I'm not really sure…" he replied.

To be honest, Harry really did not have any idea where they should go in London for the rest of their day. Other than King's Cross Station, Diagon Alley, and the Ministry of Magic his experience in the large city was quite limited. The Dursleys had rarely taken him anywhere unless it was absolutely necessary, so he was feeling more like a tourist today than anything else.

Sirius didn't seem to mind. "I guess we can just start walking towards Oxford Street. I'm sure we'll find something to do along the way."

"Okay…" Harry said agreeably.

He plodded alongside Sirius, acutely aware that Tonks was still following behind them. The day had already been a lot better than he had expected, especially since he and Sirius were getting along so well now. But after that overwhelming mob scene in Diagon Alley, Harry wasn't sure if he was in the mood to do much of anything now. Sirius had insisted, however, so he had obligingly agreed.

They were all quiet for a while, as each one collected their thoughts. Harry felt like a mixture of emotions all of a sudden and he was having difficulty sorting it all out. Although he had become increasingly more comfortable with his godfather as the day progressed, he still felt like he was holding back a small part of himself; like he was afraid to be who he really was.

He felt all moody and depressed too, for some odd reason. He was trying his best not to show it, but he couldn't stop some of the feelings that were bubbling just at the surface. He had struggled all year to suppress this darker side of his personality, but here it was popping up again. Harry could only assume his moodiness was because he felt guilty for keeping so many secrets from his godfather. So many things were still left unsaid…

Sirius had been so great today that Harry felt just awful for ever keeping everything from him in the first place… but then again, how would he react once he found it all out? How would Harry ever find the courage to explain it all? He was beginning to feel like he might be able to do this soon, but where would he even begin? It was quite a conundrum to say the least, and his worried thoughts were giving him a headache. Just thinking about it brought back too many bad memories.

Glancing sideways at Sirius, Harry could see that he seemed to be a bit low spirited at the moment too. Who could blame him after the way he was confronted in Diagon Alley? The man deserved to be honored, not shunned; for all that he had gone through.

After a long walk, they finally reached Oxford Street. Having never really had the opportunity to sight see, Harry found himself staring in awe at this amazing city. Both he and Sirius weren't really sure what they were going to do in the city, but at the moment they seemed satisfied to simply walk aimlessly and see what there was to see.

Tonks, who seemed rather frustrated by their sudden silence, couldn't stand it any longer. When they stopped at an intersection to wait for the traffic light to change, she put a hand on both of their shoulders and whirled them around to look at her. "What's with you two? Are you going to let those stupid people back there in Diagon…er… back there… get you down?" she asked. She had noticed a few Muggles standing nearby and decided not mention the name of the magical little town hidden within London.

They shrugged innocently and looked at one another to see who was going to handle the feisty witch. Tonks wasn't about to back down. "Now you listen to me… you are both going to have a good time and that's all there is to it. Do you understand?"

They both nodded mutely. The light changed and they could have walked across the street, but they remained rooted to the spot, each waiting for the other to say something. A few passersby seemed to be rather amused by the "old" lady who was berating the two men. They gave them a sympathetic look as they went on their way.

"Now since neither one of you seem to know where to go I suggest maybe going to the British museum since it's just across the street. It's not exactly the most exciting place to go, but at least it's something to do until you two figure out how to talk to one another once again," she suggested.

Both of them agreed and began walking towards the museum. On the front steps they encountered a rowdy travel group of Americans. They were all huddled together passing off the cameras to one of their group members to take a picture in front of the museum. They were really quite annoying, and Harry couldn't wait to get around them.

Unfortunately, there were just as many tourists inside. The museum probably would have been interesting to see if they didn't encounter so many rude patrons in each gallery. Harry, Sirius, and Tonks literally had to fight their way through some of the doorways just to get to the next gallery there were so many people. They later learned that there had been a special exhibit that had just opened that day, which probably could account for the large numbers of people turning out.

They didn't even spend an hour in the museum before they decided to head back outdoors. Thankfully, the beautiful weather was lifting their moods as they continued to walk. Harry found that he had begun to relax once again after a short while. It really was a glorious day. The sun was shining and surprisingly there wasn't a single cloud in the sky, a rarity here in England. He promised himself to make the most of the day and he was determined to do so.

As the afternoon progressed, Harry was suddenly struck by an interesting notion. For once in his life people weren't singling him out for who he was. It was refreshing not having people ogle them while they walked. Harry had put up with his fame ever since he had entered the wizarding world and it was very trying at times, especially since he never asked to be famous. Sirius was famous as well, but in a different respect. Neither one, it seemed, could ever really walk down Diagon Alley again and not get noticed.

At least out here in the Muggle world, both were anonymous. Harry, Sirius, and even Tonks had agreed to dress in Muggle clothing today instead of their wizarding robes, just in case they decided to venture out into London. Harry was kind of glad now that they had. There was something to say for anonymity, and Harry was now enjoying it.

* * *

Somewhere nearby a black Ford Escort had maneuvered expertly into a parking space. Once the keys were removed from the ignition, its obese passenger struggled to open the door and exit the vehicle. The cars in the car park were so closely spaced that this was a bit of a challenge for such a large man. The economy size car, which had tilted precariously to one side only moments ago, had now righted itself again as the massive weight was removed from the interior. 

The man cursed loudly as he finally exited his vehicle and began walking up the street. Parking in London was bloody awful and now he would have to walk nearly two blocks up Oxford Street in order to reach the electronics store he needed to go to. He was taking a late afternoon lunch hour and he only had limited amount of time to get what he needed to do done.

A few weeks ago he had purchased his beloved son something called a MP3 player (whatever that was), and in only a few days time, his son was already complaining that the damn thing was broken (something about his music sounding like static). Normally he had no problems allowing his son to toss the object aside when he tired of it, but he had paid a hefty price for the expensive gift and he was determined to have it repaired since he had purchased a warranty. It was supposed to be state of the art technology, so why was the damn thing already broken? To say he was furious over the matter was an understatement.

Unfortunately, his obesity made it difficult to walk long distances and he was already breathing heavily. He huffed and puffed his way up the street clutching the small bag that contained the MP3 player in one hand. After a short while he climbed the steps of the shopping building that housed the electronics store, somewhat out of breath.

A cheery fellow, who looked like he knew too much about computers for his own good, quickly greeted him. "Hello, I'm Chadd. How can I be of assistance?"

"Yes, I bought this thing for my son and now it's broken. I want a new one," said the man, as he fished the object and his receipt out of the carrier bag.

"These just came out only a few months ago. What seems to be the problem?" Chadd asked as he turned the MP3 player over in his hand.

"I don't know. My son says that his music has static in it," the man grumbled.

"Well, let's check it out." Chadd took the object and disappeared in the back room for a while to do diagnostics tests.

After a few minutes Chadd returned and handed the MP3 player back to his customer with a cocky smile. "Well you're right, there is something wrong with it. It's a good thing you purchased the warranty."

"Well, I would like a new one then," said the man, his frustration growing.

"I'm sorry we can't do that. You selected the customization option and had your son's name engraved on back. Anything that is personalized must be shipped directly back to the distributor when there is a problem," Chadd said matter-of-factly.

"What? Why?" the man yelled.

"Because that is how our system works. If you hadn't gotten it personalized, we could give you a new one today or ship it out for you. Unfortunately, you will have to arrange the shipment yourself because you chose the customization option," said the younger man, seeming to enjoy this little power trip he had going.

"What? But it was a free option! I don't understand your logic!" By now the large man's face was almost purple with rage. All he wanted to do was break this snot-nosed-know-it-all kid in half. Several other customers in the store were now looking their way.

"Calm down sir! You must have taken advantage of one of our promotional deals. I'd like to help, but our policy states that anything personalized falls on the responsibility of the customer to contact the distributor when there is a problem. You did sign the contract," he pointed out.

"Fine! How do I do that then?" the man asked, trying to control the growing rage inside.

"You can try calling the customer service number on the back of your contract or sending them an email online. I'm sure your son could help you fill the application out on their website. I believe the cost of shipping is around 30 pounds," explained Chadd.

"30 pounds? But I bought a service warranty. Why do I have to pay?"

"That's just how our system works, sir," said Chadd once more, clearly irritated with the customer.

"This is ridiculous. I don't see why I have to go through all this trouble when I bought this from your store and paid for a service warranty," he complained.

Chadd crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. "I understand you're upset, but I simply can't help you."

"I want to see the manager!" he demanded.

"I _am_ the manager, sir," said Chadd, smiling once again in a condescending manner.

"This is fucking unbelievable. Thanks for nothing. I'll never shop here again!" the man shouted angrily.

He rushed out of the store, slamming the door behind him. Several of the other customers were still gawking at his rude display.

He began storming up the street towards his car, thinking about what had happened. Nothing seemed to be going right in his life anymore, and that had only added fuel to the fire. He felt like he was no longer in control of his life- like someone else was pulling all the strings.

In the last year both his business and personal life had taken turns for the worse. His company was about to go under, meaning money was tight at home as a result. His wife was threatening to leave him if he didn't get his act together, but he honestly had no idea how to go about doing any of that. He was even having difficulty with his son. His boarding school had contacted him and his wife on several occasions in the past year regarding their son's supposed bullying behavior. Of course, they didn't believe such rubbish about their beloved son, but rumors were starting to spread nonetheless among the neighbors that also sent their children to the same boarding school.

Everything used to be so perfect. What had happened? As the man continued to pound angrily up the streets, he realized that he already knew the answer to that question. It wasn't a what… but a who.

He knew with utmost certainty who had been the cause of all his troubles, and if he ever set eyes the boy again, he knew he wouldn't be able to hold back his rage.

All thoughts of returning back to work were now gone. He was now seething inside and he needed something to calm his nerves down before he lost it completely. Seeing a local pub he often frequented just down the street, the man headed towards it, cursing all computer nerds and their cocky attitudes and the boy who was the cause of his problems.

A few stiff drinks and he would feel better once again; like he always did…. like he was in control again. That was the one good thing about alcohol; it was empowering.

* * *

After visiting the British Museum, Sirius decided that Harry needed some more Muggle clothing, so they headed towards the shopping district. 

"But Sirius you've already bought me enough today. I really don't need anything else…" Harry whined.

Sirius was feeling a little irritated that Harry still couldn't understand why he was doing this. "It's not about need, Harry. Sometimes we do things because we want to. And I _want_ to buy you some more clothes. I know you don't have a lot anyway, so don't argue with me. If it makes you feel any better, I need to add to my wardrobe as well," Sirius stated firmly.

"Fine…" Harry mumbled. It appeared that as long as Sirius was buying something for himself, Harry wouldn't feel so bad about the cost.

Tonks helped point out which stores would carry what they were looking for. After visiting five different stores on Oxford Street, Harry now had three new pairs of jeans to add to his clothing, as well as several bright colored t-shirts and a pair of new trainers. He also got some much needed socks and few pairs of boxers. Harry seemed really grateful for the new clothes, and he made sure to tell Sirius over and over again.

Sirius, who wore Muggle clothing as much as he wore his wizard's robes, had only bought himself some pants and a few dark shirts to go with them. He tended to avoid anything with bright colors and preferred mostly muted tones. Harry had tried to comment that he was dressing like Snape with all the dark colors, but one firm look quieted him instantly.

Tonks had insisted on helping them carry some of their bags. She swore that she could still keep a sharp eye out for danger while carrying a few things. It was really funny to see an old lady helping two grown men carry their shopping. The fact that she was following them didn't help matters. An indignant tourist made a comment to them as they walked by_. "Where I come from, we help the elderly out of the kindness of our hearts, not make them carry our things!"_ They couldn't help but laugh at the man, and he seemed very irritated.

After all that shopping, they were all incredibly thirsty. And their ice cream lunch had left them still hungry as well, so the three of them decided to head towards a local restaurant for a bite to eat.

As soon as they were seated, a waiter came to take their order. Harry seemed to be having trouble deciding what he wanted. Sirius knew that Harry would inevitably end up choosing the cheapest item on the menu so that he wouldn't have to spend so much on him, so decided to order for them all.

"Yum…fish n' chips!" Tonks exclaimed, licking her lips. "Just what I wanted!"

"Is that alright, Harry?" asked Sirius worriedly. He was wondering now if he had made a mistake just ordering for Harry like that. He had done the same when they got ice cream earlier, and he didn't want to think he was trying to control his godson. He just wanted Harry to understand that he didn't have to hold back when he wanted something. Sirius had both the want and the need to buy him whatever he wanted financially.

"I guess… I've never really tried it," Harry admitted.

"You've never had fish n' chips?" Sirius asked exasperatedly.

"No…" Harry grumbled.

Sirius was really surprised by that, and was beginning to wonder what else the Dursleys had deprived his godson of. "Oh. I just assumed most Muggles had tried fish n' chips before… it's a pretty common food… well, never mind. Trust me… you'll love it."

Harry only shrugged. He smiled reassuringly at his godson and it seemed to help the situation. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't figure Harry out. He was just different somehow, and it wasn't in a way that Sirius could ever hope to explain.

They made small talk waiting for the food to arrive, but there were some questions that had been collecting in Sirius's brain that he wanted answered. He was sure that Harry didn't want him prying into his life, but he had already waited so long that he decided he couldn't wait any longer.

The food arrived, hot and fresh. Sirius took a bite into his breaded fish and found it to be wonderfully delicious. Harry and Tonks seemed to be enjoying themselves as well. Seeing that they were all distracted by the food, Sirius decided to tread into uncharted water.

"So tell me about yourself…" Sirius prodded, as he licked the grease off his fingers.

"W-what do you mean?" Harry asked, popping another chip in his mouth.

"I mean exactly what I said. Tell me about yourself. It's been nearly a year since I last saw you. I know I've probably missed out on something. So what's happened in that time?" Sirius asked.

"Er… nothing really…" Harry said. He picked at his food listlessly, refusing to make eye contact with him.

Sirius wasn't about to back down. He had a gut feeling there was more going on than Remus and Harry were telling and he was determined to find out. "How was school? Anything interesting happen last year?"

Harry raised an eyebrow at that. "You mean apart from Voldemort attacking on Halloween, Remus capturing Wormtail in Dartmoor, and bringing you back from beyond the Veil?" he asked sarcastically.

Sirius had been told very little about those events and as much as he wanted to prod those issues further, it was the time before and the time in between those events that had him most curious. "Yeah…"

"Not much… did Remus tell you that Death Eaters attacked the Burrow last Christmas?" Harry asked.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah. That's the reason they're staying at Grimmauld Place, isn't it?"

"Mm-hmm…" Harry mumbled, as he bit into another chip.

"What else happened?"

"I told you…not much…"

"Sirius, you do realize that you're grilling the poor boy…" Tonks warned.

"I only want to get to know my godson, Tonks," he replied.

"But you do know me…" Harry said quietly. The tone in his voice made it sound as if he were trying to convince himself of that as much as he was his godfather.

Sirius was growing increasingly frustrated. "Oh come on, there must be something you're not telling me. How were your classes? Is old Snivellus still being a hard ass?"

"Actually I did very well last year. Hermione only beat me by a few points," Harry finally admitted.

Sirius was shocked by that. Harry had always been an exceptional wizard, but getting top marks in his classes was certainly a new development. "What? When did you turn into a bookworm?"

Harry seemed to take offense by that. "I d-don't know… I guess with the war going on… I just figured that I better be as prepared as possible for what happens in the future. I've been studying a lot of defense on my own… and learning occlumency… you know that… and we're supposed to start training this summer too."

"What are you training for?" Sirius asked.

"For the war…" Harry replied quietly. He was looking nervous about the situation for some reason and that bothered Sirius.

"What makes you think that you have to prepare for war Harry? You've just now come of age… you don't think I would just allow you to go off to battle, do you? You're much too young!"

"Sirius…" Tonks warned him again. He shot her a dirty look, wishing once again that the Order hadn't insisted on her coming. His cousin could be quite a pain sometimes.

"You don't understand…" Harry muttered, still staring at his food. It bothered Sirius that he couldn't look up at him.

"What don't I understand?"

Harry's green eyes finally looked up at him. In a determined voice he said, "I can't talk about it now," as his eyes darted towards Tonks.

Sirius got the message loud and clear. Whatever was bothering Harry, it wasn't something he wanted to discuss in front of Tonks. He decided to lay off the subject for now, but made a mental note to discuss it with him later. He wondered if it had anything to do with the prophecy that Voldemort had tried to get his hands on last year.

"Fine… Well, then… tell me what kind of trouble have you got yourself into?"

"Of course leave it to a Marauder to ask something like that…" said Tonks in a disapproving tone.

Sirius knew that Tonks had known about his escapades when he was in school because of her family. He had recently learned that Remus, who had been saddened when he lost his friend last year, had shared with Tonks some of their adventures. Remus had also told her that they had even gone so far as dubbing their troublemaking foursome as the Marauders.

"I haven't gotten in any trouble this year, believe it or not," Harry replied.

"No adventures?"

"Just saving you…" Harry said in a cocky tone.

Sirius was a little disappointed. As proud as he was of all of Harry's efforts, he was sad that he hadn't had any other adventures this year. Harry had always been such a mischievous kid. "Nothing new happened at all?"

Harry sat quietly for a moment, seeming to search for an answer to his question. "Well, Ron and Hermione are dating now…" he offered.

"Finally! I always knew those two would get together," Sirius said with a smile. "What about you? Are you interested in any girls this year? What about that girl named Cho you liked last year?"

"That was in fifth year… and no… there are no girls I like right now…" Harry replied, looking nervous once again.

Sirius was just about to ask if he were interested in any _boys_, when a noisy procession of waiters and waitresses began parading out of the kitchen. A small boy at the table next to them was celebrating his birthday, and the restaurant staff was loudly singing a variation of the birthday song to him. Sirius noticed that Harry seemed grateful for the interruption.

Before Sirius could ask him again, the waiter brought them the bill. Seeing that the moment was lost, he paid the waiter and ushered Harry and Tonks out of the noisy restaurant. They began walking aimlessly once again, lugging their many bags with them.

Finally the silence was broken by Harry's small voice. "Sirius…"

"Yes?" he asked.

"Could you tell me about my parents?" he asked, hope filling his eyes.

"Sure. What do you want to know?" Sirius asked, smiling down at him again reassuringly.

"Everything…"

Sirius saw the opportunity to reconnect with Harry again, after he somehow put a wedge between them back in the restaurant, and decided to take it. He was thoughtful for a few moments, as he tried to call up a few memories that Harry would enjoy. It was more difficult than he thought. His brain was a funny thing these days… sometimes his memories were fuzzy and other times they were as clear as day.

Finally thinking of one that Harry would like, he asked, "Have I ever told you about the Gryffindor Civil War in our sixth year?"

"No…" Harry replied, shaking his head.

"Well…" he began.

* * *

After downing a few shots of his favorite whiskey, the large man stumbled out of the pub out into the late afternoon sun. He knew he was in no position to drive, and he certainly couldn't go back to work in the condition he was in, so he decided to have a seat on a bench before heading back to his vehicle. 

His life was a mess. He was at the end of the rope with no hope of rescue. Although he would never admit it to himself, but part of his financial problems was his fault. Despite the lack of money at home, the man still tried to shower his family with gifts like he had always done to show that he loved them. Unfortunately, spending money recklessly like that had only led to more problems with his wife.

Lost in thought, he almost missed the sight of a young man with glasses and dark, messy hair walking across the street beside a taller man with long black hair. He had to do a triple take, but he soon realized that he recognized the young man. He was smiling as if he didn't have a care in the world, laughing at whatever the taller man had just said.

The man locked his eyes on him, watching his every move. He had no right to be so happy. He had no right to walk about as if he had never done a thing wrong. He could feel the young man's freakishness polluting the very air he was breathing. So much so that it was making him sick.

A new wave of rage coursed through his body as he watched the pair, and his hands nearly ripped the bag he was holding to pieces he was so upset. Stuffing the now mutilated bag in his jacket pocket, he stood slowly hoping that he hadn't been seen. Nothing had been right since that worthless little freak had run away and now he was going to pay.

The man crossed the street behind him and began to follow them carefully. It appeared as if the frail old lady following them was somehow with them. If he wanted to ever get his hands on the boy, he had to make sure that it wasn't in the presence of the old lady or the man that he was with. It would cause too much of a scene. No… he would wait until they were alone.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

"- and then your Mum… she… she…" Sirius tried to say through his laughter.

"What?" Harry prodded him, grinning madly. He loved hearing stories about his parents and today was no exception.

"She came down the stairs to the common room and her hair was bright purple! Her lovely red hair was _purple_! You should have seen the look on her face. If looks could kill your father would have been dead-" Sirius suddenly froze as he realized what he just said. "Oh… oh Harry… I didn't mean it like that…"

Surprisingly, Harry found that he wasn't upset by that comment. He grinned at his godfather reassuringly and said, "It's alright, Sirius. I know what you meant. Tell me what happened next!"

"Well, James knew he was in big trouble then. Lily got a hold of his all his quills somehow and enchanted them so that when he wrote anything, all his of lettering came out in this frilly pink script and little flowers appeared all over his essays," Sirius replied, his grey eyes shining happily from the memory.

"Really?" Harry asked, his voice shaking with laughter.

"Oh that's not all… Lily did a number of things on top of that… I can't remember them all, there were so many… but I do remember James having a little problem out on the Quidditch pitch for a while… Lily threw handfuls of itching powder into his uniform!"

"She didn't!" Harry exclaimed, knowing full well how that would affect a player's performance.

"She did! Old Hooch was appalled when she saw James scratching in places a man shouldn't scratch in public."

Harry was giggling now. "Did they always prank each other like that?"

"Nah… just for few months in our sixth year. James had been trying to his moves on your mother for so long that he had just about given up. He probably would have too if poor Lily hadn't accidentally walked into a prank that was meant for someone else. Boy did she give James an earful over that. She chewed him out right in the middle of the Great Hall. He loved the attention so much that he started teasing and pranking her all the time. Lily was so good natured that she put up with it for a little while, but eventually she decided to start getting even with him as well- which then started a small feud. I don't even remember how it all got started, but it got so bad at one point that McGonagall finally got fed up and gave them both detention together for an entire week."

"What happened then?" Harry asked curiously. He had often heard of stories about his father and the Marauders, but never about his mother and father in school.

"Well, I guess you could say the rest was history. They fell in love," Sirius said wistfully.

"In detention!"

Sirius gave a shrug. "Hey, stranger things have happened…"

"_Don't I know it! I fell in love with my school enemy!" _Harry thought to himself.

Both of them were quiet now, but were smiling softly as if each were lost in some sort of happy memory. With no place in particular to go they just kept walking, each keeping a look out for any potential Death Eaters and watching that Tonks was still dutifully behind them.

Sirius suddenly stopped in front of a shop and stared at the clothing in the front window. "Can we stop in here for a minute?" Sirius asked him.

"A leather store?" Harry asked curiously

"Yeah. I used to have this amazing leather jacket I would wear on while I was on my motorbike, but I lost it when I went to Azkaban. I think I would like to get another," Sirius replied, staring thoughtfully at a leather jacket in the store's window.

"Okay," said Harry, following his godfather inside. Tonks stood her ground in front of the shop entrance, carefully searching the streets for any sign of trouble.

Harry was almost overwhelmed by the heavy scent of leather when he walked inside. The store was a lot larger than it had seemed outside. Although it was primarily a leather dealer, it also contained some other types of clothing as well. Other than Harry and Sirius, the store was completely void of customers. A single sales lady was at the back counter, reading a magazine.

Harry followed Sirius closely as he began walking up and down the aisles checking out the many styles. "Hmm…" Sirius said, examining the lining of each jacket and the length of the sleeves.

Feeling a bit bored, Harry began to wander off on his own, and looking at what else the store had to offer.

Suddenly, Harry felt his chest grow slightly warm.

He knew from past experiences what this could mean. Grasping through his shirt at his dragon pendant, which always hung around his neck, Harry felt that it indeed had grown warm. He was about to panic and warn Sirius, but then a second later it was cool again.

That was odd. The magical amulet was a gift that Draco had given him last year for his birthday, and it served as an early warning system for danger. It had never grown warm and then cooled again so quickly. Was this just a false alarm or was he really in danger? Were Death Eaters or the Dementors near?

Sirius eyed him curiously and saw his apparent discomfort. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing…" Harry said truthfully, feeling that the pendant was in fact cold once again. It must have just been a false alarm.

"Whatever happened to your motorbike anyway?" asked Harry, changing the subject.

Sirius paused as he was browsing some black zippered jackets. "You know what… I'm not sure. That last I saw it was the night…well, you know…"

Harry nodded, but he didn't dare tell his godfather that he had actually relived that night from Sirius's perspective during one of his dreams when they were connected.

"I told Hagrid he could borrow it so that he could deliver you safely to Dumbledore. I assume he must have put it somewhere for safe keeping. I couldn't even bring myself to ask about it when I escaped prison, because I didn't want to see it then." The sad grey look in his eyes was almost haunting.

"Why not?"

"It's hard to explain. I just didn't. Maybe it's because I loved that bike so much. And it would have killed me to see it again and not be able to ride it when I was still wanted by the Ministry," Sirius said. Harry remembered how depressed he was when he was cooped up in Black Manor for nearly a year and how he wanted nothing more than to walk about as a free man. "But now that I have been pardoned… I think I would like to ride it once again. Do you think Hagrid might still have it?"

"I don't know, but we can ask…"

"I'd love to take you for a ride. There's nothing like it… well except maybe flying on a broom," Sirius said with a wink.

Harry eyes widened happily at the prospect of flying. "I would love that!"

"Well, now I can't wait to go home and fire call Hagrid!" Sirius said happily, all traces of sadness disappearing from his face again.

Harry was amazed by the range of emotion Sirius could go through in a single day. There were so many sad memories in him that they seemed to fight for existence with all the happy ones inside his Swiss cheese brain. Harry hoped for Sirius's sake, that the happier memories would win more often.

"What do you think of this one?" Sirius asked, holding up one of the leather jackets.

"It's nice," Harry replied, not really having an opinion on the matter. He really didn't know much about fashion to say one way or another.

"Too bad they don't have it in my size," he said, after checking the tag. "Hmm… maybe they have more in stock in the back. I'm going to ask the lady at the counter."

"Alright," Harry replied. Watching his godfather walk over to the sales lady, he realized Sirius's interest wasn't only in the jacket. He had found another pretty blond to talk to.

Harry rolled his eyes as he heard the young woman laugh at something Sirius had said, and began to browse the large shop on his own. First it was the receptionist at the Ministry and now the sales lady. He had had no idea what a flirt his godfather was. He'd certainly gained back his self confidence rather quickly.

Harry found a section of novelty T-shirts at the front of the store and began reading all of the fun logos on them. Apparently the store did have a few more jackets in stock, because the sales lady was now leading Sirius towards the back so that he could try them on.

"I'll be right back, Harry," Sirius called to him with a wink. Harry nodded and continued to browse the shop on his own.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

The obese man had followed them for a great deal of time. His breathing had become more and more ragged as he walked, because of his large frame. With each step he was plotting ways in which he would wreak his revenge on the "Boy." It was the only thing that kept him going in this god awful heat.

When he saw the Boy and the man finally enter a store leaving the old lady outside, he decided that he needed to be cautious. He didn't know if the old lady was one of "them," and he didn't want to take a chance being seen. So he waited patiently down an alley; peeking his head around the corner occasionally.

At one point he tried to slip behind the old lady when she was looking the other way. He had even made it to the front entrance of the store before she turned around and spotted him. The piercing look she gave him was so disconcerting that he decided to walk on by as if he had changed his mind. She stared after him, watching his every move. He couldn't be sure if she knew who he was, so he slipped down another alley nearby to wait again.

An opportunity soon presented itself. A small child ran up to the old lady and threw her little arms around her. "Thewe you awe. I fought I wost choo," she said.

Startled, the old lady turned around to see who it was, and the little girl realized that she had hugged the wrong person. "Are you okay?" the old lady asked.

The girl burst into tears and began crying. "I want my gwama…"

She tried everything to calm the girl down, but nothing seemed to be working. She couldn't even get the girl to tell her a name.

Another old lady, apparently the child's grandmother, crossed the street to meet them and picked the little girl up in her arms. "There's my sweet baby… where did you go off too…Thank you for watching her…"

Seeing his chance, the large man slipped behind the distracted old lady and entered the store.

* * *

Now alone in the main part of the store, Harry found himself feeling a bit bored. The afternoon had been fun when he was talking to Sirius, but he didn't particularly enjoy shopping in general. He slid t-shirt after t-shirt over the racks as he browsed each one waiting for Sirius to finish. 

He didn't even bother to look up when he heard the bell on the store's main door jingle as it opened. He just kept moving the clothes about on the rack unenthusiastically. He had just picked up a black shirt he was thinking about purchasing, when he felt the dragon pendant around his neck grow warm again.

Confused by what it meant, he froze in place. It wasn't until he heard the ragged breathing that he turned around abruptly. He expected to find a Death Eater lunging over him, but to his absolute horror… he found Vernon Dursley standing before him. He dropped the shirt he was still holding to the floor. The plastic hanger it was on clattered on the ground noisily.

"U-uncle…" Harry stuttered, his breath catching in his throat. He never thought he would see Vernon again, and now here he was looming dangerously close. Harry moved instinctively backwards and ran into a rack of clothes against the wall.

"_How did he get in here unseen? Where was Tonks?"_ Harry thought.

"I can't believe I found you- you worthless freak!" his uncle yelled, closing in on him. "Where have you been!" He reached out with his meaty fist and grabbed the front of his shirt tightly.

"I... uh…" Harry tried to form words, but his mouth didn't seem to be working properly he was so terrified. The dragon pendant was now hot against his chest. His uncle had missed grabbing it with his t-shirt by mere centimeters. He desperately tried to get Vernon's hand off of him, but he was no match for the sheer mass his uncle had over him.

Gripping his shirt even tighter, he yelled. "I don't know how you managed to run away last summer, but you should have just stayed away. You are in a lot of trouble boy!"

"W-what? Why?" he asked. His heart was pounding in his chest now and he was sure that Vernon knew how terrified he was.

"For sending one of those freaks to my house! Do you have any idea what he did to me? Did you think that was funny!" Vernon screamed into his face.

Harry suddenly remembered what Remus had done when he learned that Harry didn't want to testify against his uncle. Not long after Harry had run away, the werewolf had broken into the house on Privet Drive and put Vernon under a spell that causes him to feel all the pain he had ever inflicted on Harry. It was supposed to be quite a gruesome spell, but is not listed as one of the unforgivables because the victim is merely experiencing the pain he inflicted on another person.

Apparently Remus couldn't handle the fact that Vernon had abused him and wouldn't be going away to prison, and felt he needed to take the matters in his own hands. And this was before he learned about the sexual abuse! Harry was surprised that Remus hadn't gone back again once he learned about the true nature of what had happened to him.

Harry had been told that Remus had held the spell on Vernon for an unusually long period of time and there was question as to whether Vernon would still be right in the head after such torture. Remus had been reprimanded by the Ministry for his actions and placed on probation as a result.

"I said, did you think that was funny!" Vernon yelled, shaking him violently back and forth.

"N-no…" he replied.

Vernon continued to hold onto Harry by the shirt, but he also roughly grabbed Harry by the face. "You have caused nothing but grief to my poor family, and now you're going to pay!"

"No… uncle…p-please…." Harry pleaded, reverting back to the scared little boy he once was. He managed to push his uncle's hand away from his face, but couldn't dislodge him from his shirt.

"After all we did for you, it just wasn't enough for you was it? You decided that you had to destroy my family too! You cursed us somehow, I just know it. You and your freakish ways! That's the reason my business isn't doing well and why Petunia is upset with me!"

"No I s-swear I didn't…" his breaths were coming in quick little gasps as he listened to his uncle's irrational reasoning. Something definitely wasn't right in his head.

"You're going to fix everything and put it right. You're coming back home with me!" Vernon yelled, trying to pull Harry towards the door.

"No!" Harry yelled, utterly horrified at that prospect. "Stop!"

He struggled to push him away and finally managed to free himself briefly, until his uncle grabbed a hold of his upper arm. His eyes darted towards the back of the store, looking desperately for Sirius. Where was he? The back store room was so far away, he wasn't sure if Sirius would hear the commotion or not. He opened his mouth to yell for him, but Vernon promptly back handed him across the face with his other hand.

"Shut up!" he yelled.

Tears instantly formed in his eyes at the pain, and Harry brought up a shaky hand to cover his now burning face. He was suddenly filled with such shame. He hated being so weak. Why couldn't he just stand up to his uncle? He was an adult now… at least according to wizarding standards.

As he stared hopelessly into his uncle's beady eyes, he realized that this was worse than any nightmare he had ever had about meeting his uncle again. This was a living nightmare.

"Who was that with you?" His uncle demanded, looking towards the back of the store to see if they would be disturbed.

"My g-godfather…" Harry whispered, afraid to speak any louder for fear he would be hit again.

Vernon looked back at him, spittle flying from his lips as he spoke again. "You told me he was dead! You lied to me… hoping for sympathy… thinking I would be easier on you… Well, you thought wrong…"

Vernon then punched him in the face, catching Harry in the left eye. His head ricocheted backwards hitting a rack of clothes behind him. He was overcome by dizziness and it was all he could do to stay conscious.

"_Where was Sirius? What was taking so long?"_ Harry thought frantically.

Vernon let go of his shirt, but before Harry could move out of the way again, his uncle grabbed him roughly by the throat practically choking him. Harry squirmed to get away, panic rising in his chest, but found he was utterly defenseless against his uncle.

Being this close to him Harry could smell his uncle's horrendous body odor from all the sweating in the afternoon heat, but what was worse… he could smell the whiskey heavy on his breath. His uncle was drunk again. He stared helplessly into those hate filled eyes and bulging purple face, remembering all the times his uncle had been this close to him.

Smiling wickedly, Vernon brought his face close to Harry's ear and whispered, "Tell me boy… does your godfather know about our games? Did you let him touch you?"

"No…." Harry moaned pitifully, gasping again for breath. He couldn't stop the steady stream of traitorous tears that were now coursing down his face.

"Does he know what a filthy disgusting whore you are? That you always let me play with you… that you were a _good little boy_…" he said in an icky sweet voice.

"Nooo… no… no…" Harry began to yell, shaking his head back and forth. The hand on his throat now was so tight that he was gasping for breath.

"You're mine, boy… mine! No one else can touch you!" Vernon yelled into his ear.

Still gripping Harry by the throat Vernon began to drag him towards the entrance of the store. Harry stumbled repeatedly as his feet tried to remain firmly on the ground. His arms lashed out wildly, simultaneously trying to free himself from his uncle's death like grip and looking to grab one of the nearby clothing racks.

"No!" He tried to scream, but his voice was caught in his throat because of his uncle's vice like grip.

He had no idea what Vernon was planning to do when they got outside. There were people everywhere, and they were bound to see something and call for help. But Harry didn't want to wait to find out. Knowing Vernon he had probably already thought that far ahead. What if he managed to drag him down some dark alleyway? What would he do to him then?

"_Oh gods… no….not that… not again,"_ Harry thought wildly.

Lashing out again with his arms, he was able to grab a few racks, sending them crashing to ground as he leaped back wildly trying to escape. It was then he remembered his wand in his back pocket, hidden under his shirt. Grabbing it quickly, he jabbed it into his uncle's throat.

"Let… me… go…" he said determinedly, his voice barely above a whisper. Harry's tear stained face was now bright red from exertion and lack of oxygen.

Vernon laughed in his face and gripped Harry's throat in meaty hands more firmly. "Are you threatening me? I know you can't do magic outside your school, boy."

"You're wrong…" he choked. In the clearest possible voice that Harry could manage he yelled, "_STUPEFY!_"

Sirius and the sales lady returned to the front of the store just as his uncle's unconscious body slumped to the ground heavily. They must have heard the racks of clothes clattering to the ground.

"Harry!" Sirius yelled as he ran to the front of the store. "Are you okay?"

Harry wouldn't answer him… or rather couldn't. He was too busy trying to wipe the tears away and take wonderfully deep steadying breaths.

"What happened?" the pretty Muggle blond screamed, as she stared down at Vernon's body. She then pointed to the wand in Harry's hand and said, "What is that? What did you do to him? I'm calling the police!"

She turned to run towards the phone, but Sirius stunned her from behind with his own wand. "Damn it… the Ministry isn't going to like this… Harry, what happened? Isn't that your uncle?"

Harry stood there; still as scared as ever staring into his godfather's confused face. He was shaking so badly he was surprised he was still standing upright. He couldn't find the words to explain what happened, or what it all meant. He reached up and lightly fingered the bruises growing on his throat as his uncle's hateful words began ringing through his head.

"_You're mine, boy… mine! No one else can touch you!"_

He never wanted Sirius to know about what his uncle did to him, and now here he was demanding an explanation. Tears flowed freely again down his still reddened face, and Harry was at a loss as to how to stop them.

"Harry…" Sirius said softly as he approached him. He reached out to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but Harry flinched badly.

"_Does your godfather know about our games? Did you let him touch you?"_

"No! Don't touch me!" He screamed, backing away.

"Harry… what is it?" Sirius tried again, his own grey eyes filling with confused tears to see his godson in such a frightened state.

A sob escaped Harry's swollen throat as he ran blindly out of the store. He didn't even know where he was going, but he just had to get away.

"Harry! Wait!" Sirius yelled, running after him as they exited the store.

"Harry! Sirius! What's happening!" Tonks yelled behind them. She must have grabbed Sirius to see what is wrong, because he struggled out of her grasp.

"Tonks stay behind! Wait for the Ministry officials to clean up in there!"

"What happened?" she yelled.

"I don't even know. Harry, stop! Tell me what's wrong!" Sirius screamed, still running after him.

Harry could feel him hot on his trail, and ran even faster with every last ounce of his energy. He darted through crowds of people and across a busy street. He finally found an abandoned alley and slowed his pace a bit, trying to catch his breath. His poor throat was still agonizingly sore and it made breathing difficult.

"Harry!" Sirius yelled, appearing at the other end of the alley.

"Leave me alone…" Harry cried desperately, his voice cracking.

"Let me help you!" Sirius pleaded.

Harry just kept shaking his head back and forth, as he backed away again. He was desperate to get away… to be alone… so he could do what he needed to… to stop the pain…

Sirius took another hesitant step towards him. It felt as if his entire world was collapsing onto him again. Feeling the beginnings of a panic attack, he knew he had to get away. Harry decided to try out one of his new skills and hoped that it would work again like it did this morning. Concentrating with all of his might, he suddenly disappeared without a trace.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so Sirius didn't exactly figure it out yet, but that scene was necessary to start the ball rolling. Hold on to your seats ladies and gentlemen. The next chapter is going to take you on an emotional ride! 

A/N2: I did a little research and I found out that MP3 players were first available in the late 90's, so I think its plausible Dudley had one (seeing how he gets everything he wants). The electronic store conflict is actually something that happened to me recently. It was very infuriating and I'm still a bit pissed off about it!

A/N3: I hope you all like the chapter. I had mixed feelings about it, but I guess it served its purpose… that is set the stage for the next chapter.

**Many thanks to all my reviewers!**


	9. Crimsom Regret

**Warning:** This chapter contains some graphic scenes and may trigger cutting. Please do not read if you feel you may endanger yourself. (I'm being serious).

**Chapter 9- Crimson Regret**

Nothing could have been more horrifying than encountering his uncle again. Still in the grips of his panic attack, Harry somehow managed to Apparate himself just outside the wards surrounding Villa de Luna. With one clear thought in his mind, he knew he had to go home. He began running through the woods wildly towards the cabin, his breath coming in short painful breaths as his tears continued their path down his reddened face.

He had worked himself into such a state that he could barely see where he was going. On more than one occasion he had tripped over a large tree root and had toppled forward, skinning the palms of his hands. One of his ankles felt sore from one of his falls as well, but he savored the pain. It was helping to take his mind off what had happened. Still feeling an intense need to get home, he quickly scrambled to his feet and plowed onward through the dense trees.

He needed to get home and he needed to be alone. For some reason, it never occurred to Harry to Apparate to headquarters to seek out Draco's support nor did it occur to him to look for Remus on the property around the cabin. He didn't even think about going to his best mate Ron, who had helped him on more than one occasion to deal with all of this. It just wasn't natural for him to reach out to anyone.

As a child, he had become accustomed to looking out for himself and he never once had anyone to turn to for help. Of course, Harry now had the love and support of his boyfriend, guardian, and best friends, but in his frightened state it never occurred to him to go to them. And if he was honest with himself, he really didn't want to see any of them right now. He was just too ashamed and embarrassed. He was alone now, just as he always had been.

The cabin soon came into view and he raced towards it with his last bit of energy. Climbing the steps, he opened the door quickly and rushed inside. Thankfully he was home and Remus was nowhere to be seen. He didn't want the man he now thought of as his father figure to know what he might have to do.

Harry went upstairs to his bedroom and sank to his knees on the floor, feeling safe for the first time since his encounter with his uncle. His heart continued to pound loudly within his chest and he took long wheezing breaths trying to get himself under control, which was painful because of his swollen throat.

Never in his wildest dreams had he ever really thought that he might actually see Vernon Dursley again, and yet fate had cruelly thrown them together once more. He sat there upon his knees with his arms wrapped around his waist, rocking himself back and forth trying fruitlessly to calm down. He just couldn't stop the flow of tears coursing down his face or suppress the many sobs building up in his chest. He tried again to wipe the tears away, but by now it was no use. There was just no stopping them.

He tried breathing calmly like Remus had taught him and he even tried thinking about his "happy place" that he used in Occlumency. But nothing he did seemed to make him feel any better. Those hateful words that his uncle had said to him and the bruises on his face and neck were constant reminders of what had happened. Reminders that he was still just a stupid vulnerable kid. Reminders that he was weak and pathetic. Reminders of the "games" his uncle had made him play… that he had been used and abused like the filthy whore that his uncle said he was… and he had let him!

"_Does he know what a filthy disgusting whore you are? That you always let me play with you… that you were a good little boy…"_

For so many years… before Harry was old enough to understand… he had let him do those awful things to him for fear he would be hurt worse. That was the part that shamed him the most. He didn't think he would ever recover mentally from when his uncle had finally raped him last year… but it was the repeated sexual abuse he endured as a child that was the most traumatic for him.

Today brought all of those feelings of insecurity and unworthiness and shame back with such fierceness that Harry felt he might actually choke on the reality of it all. He thought he had finally worked past all of that with the help of Remus and Draco, but now he felt the farthest away he had ever been to being "alright."

Desperate to stop the unimaginable pain inside, Harry grabbed his journal from where he had stashed it between the mattress and box spring of his bed, hoping that it would help to write some of his thoughts down. The alternative was something he promised he would never do again. For a moment he stared at the page blankly trying to think what he wanted to say. He noticed that his hand was shaking while it waited to begin writing. Gripping the pen tightly he wrote:

_I don't know how it happened but I ran into…_

But then he stopped. He tried to write the rest, but found that the task was impossible. The words just wouldn't come out. Harry couldn't even force himself to write down what happened. Words were powerful… if he wrote it down then it made it true… more real… and all Harry wanted to do was forget.

Angrily he began writing a series of X's into his journal instead, but only as a substitute for what he really wanted to do. Unfortunately, the more X's he wrote the more he began pressing his Muggle pen into the paper, scratching and embossing each page with the tip until it began to rip and tear. His own tears splashed onto the page, causing the ink to smear and become something ugly.

He stopped what he was doing and stared at the messy pages. He hated what he was looking at and he hated what he was feeling inside. Still consumed by overwhelming anguish, Harry ripped out the last couple of pages he had written and tore them into tiny pieces. Each little white piece of paper fluttered to the floor.

He then threw his journal against the wall as hard as he could. As the journal fell listlessly to the ground, Harry began pacing around his room, his arms wrapped protectively around his waist again.

All he could think about was how Sirius almost found out about everything. Harry thought for a while that it might be okay to tell him, but after what his uncle had said… Harry wasn't so sure that he wanted to.

"_Tell me boy… does your godfather know about our games? Did you let him touch you?"_

Of course Sirius would never hurt him… right? Well… there was that one time he threw Harry up against the wall after he was brought back from beyond the Veil… but it wasn't like he knew what he was doing. Did he? Consumed by his anxiety, Harry began thinking more and more irrationally until he was positively terrified of his godfather. He continued pacing about in a fretful manner.

On one of his paces back and forth he caught sight of himself in the mirror on his dresser. Lucky for him it wasn't enchanted, but seeing the truth staring back at him was just as awful as any criticizing remark some of the enchanted mirrors were capable of dishing out.

He detested what he saw in the reflection. He didn't even recognize his own image. He seemed as pale and as skinny as ever; like he hadn't spent a whole summer eating healthily and swimming out in the sun. Livid bruises stood out on his neck in the shape of purple handprints where his uncle had choked him. And his face was a mixture of bruises, dirt and tears. His left eye where he had been punched was so swollen now that it probably would be black soon. What was worse, however, was the fact that he looked as dirty as he felt inside. He had finally seen himself for who he really was… what his uncle had always tried to tell him… that he was a freak.

He wanted nothing more than to make his reflection go away, and yet he couldn't seem to turn away. Something unnatural began to stir inside of him, and Harry knew that it was his accidental magic trying to unleash itself.

Suddenly, the mirror shattered in place as the force of magical energy built up inside of him. A thousand cracks appeared in the surface of the glass, creating a sparkling silver spider-like web. Unfortunately, the release of magic hadn't made him feel any better. It had only made things worse. His reflection was now a grotesque mosaic of his image repeated hundreds of times in the shards of broken mirror. The same image over and over again… the image of a pathetic excuse for a human being.

Regrettably the mirror had remained intact when it shattered so there was no spare shard for Harry to find some kind of release. Finally tearing his eyes away, he leaned forward and gripped the edges of his dresser and bowed his head so that he couldn't see his horrid reflection anymore. Another sob escaped him and his body began to tremble with emotional exhaustion.

He just couldn't take it anymore. He had only been home a few minutes and there was no telling how soon Sirius and Remus would figure out what happened or where he was. He decided that he just had to do it… after everything that happened to him, he just deserved it…

Stepping into the hallway he pointed his wand towards Remus's bedroom. "_ACCIO DAGGER!" _he yelled. He had no idea where Remus had hidden it, but a simple summoning spell would locate it quickly. Luckily for him, his guardian hadn't yet put it under lock and key.

The long wooden box that held the ceremonial dagger, which Sirius had given him for his birthday, came flying towards him. He caught it expertly in the air using his seeker reflexes and dashed back into his room. He closed his door and cast a couple of spells to ensure his privacy he were disturbed.

Falling back to his knees again Harry opened the case and stared at the dagger that lay on the purple velvety folds of fabric within. He fingered his name, which had been engraved into the hilt, and then removed it from the case. By now he was an autopilot and his next actions came to him as easily as if he did them everyday. He promptly pushed up both of his sleeves of his shirt to reveal his bare forearms. Harry then softly whispered a spell to end the glamour charms he had been using, and his scars suddenly appeared.

He let out a small cry as he stared at the numerous raised lines that were etched onto each of his arms. He had become so used to the glamours that he almost forgot how monstrous he really was. He carefully began tracing each one as he remembered what had caused them. Some were as old as before his third year at Hogwarts; each one made in precise neat rows. Others zigzagged their way across his arms; crossing older scars haphazardly. These scars were made only a few months ago and had almost cost him his life.

He was sobbing again as his uncle's words circled through his mind once more. "_You're mine, boy… mine! No one else can touch you!" _

"I'm sorry Draco…" Harry whispered aloud.

Finally unable to stand it any longer, Harry pressed the blade against his skin and dragged it across slowly. He was amazed at how smoothly it pierced his flesh. A thin line of red soon appeared where the blade had been. It coalesced into a river of blood and then navigated its way towards the back of his arm where slowly it began to fall to the floor in tiny droplets.

Sweet release. For a tiny moment, Harry was able to forget about what had happened. He concentrated on the pain and let it wash over him in relief.

Unfortunately that relief was short lived. As soon as he was able to forget about everything, the memory of his uncle attacking him came back just as quickly. He found another patch of unblemished skin and pressed the blade to it again. He hated what he was doing, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

He hated feeling this way… hated everything that ever happened in his life…

He just wanted to forget.

End the pain he was feeling inside.

So he cut again…

and again…

Until crimson regret poured from his veins.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Sirius had watched in horror as his distraught godson suddenly disapparated into thin air. He had no idea what had happened back in the leather store, but obviously Harry's run in with his uncle had not gone well. Sirius knew that Harry had not had a happy childhood based on the limited information he had been given, but what just happened pointed to deeper issues than Sirius was currently capable of understanding.

"What the hell happened!" Sirius screamed into the abandoned alleyway.

He had never seen Harry so absolutely terrified in the short time he had known him, and that was saying something. Sirius had seen fear in Harry's eyes when they had watched Remus transform into a werewolf and when he returned from the third task and when he had fought the Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries. But none of those events compared to the horror he saw in Harry's eyes as he cornered him the alleyway this afternoon. Whatever had happened must have been really awful. He couldn't wait to get his hands on Dursley to find out.

Having no idea where Harry had gone off to, he ran back to find Tonks. She wasn't outside the leather store like she was earlier so he went inside There he found the witch worriedly watching over the body of Vernon Dursley and the pretty sales lady he had been talking to earlier.

"Sirius, where's Harry? What happened here?" Tonks demanded as soon as she caught sight of her cousin.

Consumed with rage, Sirius stalked over to Vernon Dursley fully intending to wake the bastard up and inflicting bodily harm onto him until he found out what the man did to Harry. Sirius grabbed him by the shirt and pointed his wand at him in order in revive him.

"Sirius!" Tonks yelled. "Don't! Wait for the ministry!"

"This bloody bastard did something to Harry and I'm going to make him pay!" He screamed.

Unfortunately, before he was able to do anything two Ministry officials wearing red Auror robes Apparated to their location inside the store. Seeing the two Muggles lying on the floor and Sirius standing over one of them with his wand out, they instantly raised their wands and pointed them at him.

"Back away and put down your wand!" one of them yelled.

"It's Sirius Black…" the other Auror whispered to him. They both stared at him with an expression that could only be a mixture of awe and fear. "I can't believe it…"

"You don't understand…" Tonks began, but one of the Aurors trained his wand on her as well. She stared at the man indignantly. "It's not Sirius that you want!"

"He's a known criminal!" the first man shouted.

"He was cleared of all charges. Just listen to me!" Tonks exclaimed.

Sirius made a move like he was going to either tackle them or begin throwing hexes their way, and they moved on him with lightning speed realizing they had taken their focus off him for a moment while they addressed Tonks.

"Back away and put down your wands or we will be forced to stun you!" the other shouted.

"Sirius, just do what he says!" Tonks pleaded. "I'll take care of this." Sirius nodded and backed away slightly. She then suddenly transformed back into her younger self in order to address the two young men.

"Tonks… what are you doing here?" the second man asked. He lowered his wand and looked at her quizzically. The Aurors obviously knew her from work.

"If you must know Thomas, I was out shopping with my cousin and his godson… that's what!" she said irritably.

"Alright, don't get snippy. We just want to know what's going on…"

"Our detectors just alerted us that there was an unauthorized use of magic in this Muggle sector. What happened?" the other man asked, also lowering his wand.

"I don't know, Frank…" Tonks said impatiently. "Both Muggles were unconscious when I came inside."

"That one…" Sirius said as he motioned to the large body of Vernon Dursley on the floor, "attacked my godson, I think. He stunned him in order to get away. I had to _stupefy_ the sales lady because she was threatening to call the police."

"You think he attacked your godson… you didn't see it?" Frank asked curiously.

"Well, no…" he mumbled.

"Sirius, where were you? You know Harry can't be left alone!" Tonks scolded. Sirius looked her dead in the eye, but had nothing to say. His face was turning red with shame over what he had done.

Thomas was curious now. "Harry? Do you mean Harry Potter?"

Sirius ignored his questions and folded his arms angrily over his chest. "I was in the back with the sales lady trying on a jacket. I didn't know this would happen! Where were you, Tonks? You were supposed to be guarding the door. How did you not see Vernon Dursley walk into the shop? You know what he looks like for Merlin's sake. You helped retrieve Harry from Privet Drive before his fifth year!" He screamed at her.

"I…I… well, there was this little girl… I got distracted… but it was only for a moment!" she tried to explain.

"Excuse me, but we have a situation here! If you would please stop arguing for just a moment so we can sort this out…" Frank reasoned. He waited until Sirius and Tonks were silent once again. "Thank you… as I was trying to say… if your godson, Harry was it… truly was attacked then we will have to bring this man in for questioning. He will be detained in one of our cells until you decide whether or not you're pressing charges. We will also have one of our obliviators come and erase the sales girl's memory as well. Thank goodness this altercation didn't occur outside… then we would really have a mess on our hands."

Thomas nodded in agreement and then added, "Of course we will have to bring your godson in for questioning as well… to hear his side of the story. Do you know where your godson is now?"

"Well, no…I don't know…" Sirius admitted.

"Well, was he hurt?" the Auror asked. "He may need to see a healer."

"Oh gods… I don't know…he was really upset and I think there were some bruises on his face… oh no… what have I done!" Sirius looked at Tonks in horror. He was beginning to panic thinking that something truly awful had befallen Harry.

The horrified look Tonks was giving him wasn't making him feel any better. "Sirius, I think you need to go and find him…"

"But where? I don't know where he went. He Apparated away before I could even talk to him! I couldn't even get near him!"

Tonks looked at him thoughtfully and said, "Well, there are only two places I can think of that he might go… home to the cabin… or to headquarters…"

"Headquarters?" Frank asked. "Do you mean the Ministry?"

"Why would he go to headquarters?" Sirius asked curiously, ignoring the Auror's questions once again. He knew Harry was close to the Weasleys, but for some reason he couldn't picture him going to them after something like this. Could Tonks mean that Harry would go to Draco?

"I don't know, he just might… but, try home first…"

"Okay," Sirius replied. "And Tonks, please make sure you are discreet about this whole situation." He nodded towards Vernon Dursley and then looked back at her. From the look in Tonks eye's he knew that she understood what he meant. The last thing Harry needed was the media getting wind of what had happened today. Sirius knew how he was hounded for being a so-called celebrity.

He took a step back and Apparated to a point just outside the wards surrounding Villa de Luna before the Aurors could say otherwise.

* * *

Remus had been feeling so anxious about Sirius and Harry's day out together that he decided to get some more work done around the cabin. The fresh air always helped to clear his mind so he stayed outdoors most of the afternoon. 

He had already cleared some of the brush that had become overgrown by the dock, and he was currently chopping firewood. Of course, it was unnecessary for him to be using an axe when he could magically splice the wood, but Remus found that sometimes the Muggle way was more cathartic. Thankfully, the stressful knot that had formed in his stomach earlier had begun to loosen as the day progressed.

He had just finished splitting the last log, and he decided that he should bring an armload to the cabin. He bent over and gathered as much as he could carry so that his arms were now laden with several logs of fresh piney wood. He rose carefully, minding the soreness he now felt in his lower back, and began walking towards the cabin. As he cleared the last twenty meters to the front steps, his wolf-like instincts began kicking in. He suddenly realized that something was amiss. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was definitely wrong. He began looking around carefully, trying to determine the cause of his alarm.

The hairs on the back of his neck slowly rose as he assessed the situation. It was then that he noticed that the door to the cabin was now wide open. He clearly remembered closing it behind him earlier. Just as he was going to inspect the matter further, he caught a blur of black out of the corner of his eye. Something familiar was moving through the trees at a break neck speed.

Dropping the firewood to the ground, he watched as his friend barreled towards him in his animagus form. The black dog skidded to a stop and quickly transformed back into a human. Sirius was clearly out of breath, having run all the way from the wards, and took a moment to take a few gasping mouthfuls of air. He grabbed Remus by both arms to steady himself.

"Where's… w-where's Harry?" Sirius asked, his chest heaving. His grey eyes were wild with fright.

Remus became instantly worried and gripped Sirius by the arms so that they were now locked together in a desperate hold. "What do you mean, where's Harry? Isn't he with you?" he asked angrily, trying to hide the anxiety he was feeling inside.

"Something has happened. I thought he might have come back here," Sirius said breathlessly.

"What? I don't under-" Remus began, but he suddenly remembered the open cabin door and stopped in mid sentence. Without another word he raced into the cabin and up the stairs towards Harry's room.

He almost breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of the closed door for it meant that Harry was indeed home and not being held captive by Death Eaters. Unfortunately, he knew that Harry was far from safe… even from himself.

"Harry! Harry… it's me, Remus…" he called knocking lightly on the door. "Are you okay?"

Hearing no reply he tried to open the door but found that it was locked. Remus then began pounding on the door to get Harry's attention, but his efforts were to no avail.

Realizing Sirius had followed him up the stairs, he turned on him. "What the hell happened? Why has Harry shut himself up in his room!" he demanded. Remus couldn't imagine what had transpired that had gotten Harry so upset, and he was becoming quite alarmed.

Sirius looked like he was at a loss to explain what happened. "I-I don't know! We were having such a good time… I took him shopping after we got his license and everything was great. We somehow managed to run into Vernon Dursley and-"

"What? You saw Vernon Dursley? Harry's uncle?" Remus asked. He grabbed Sirius's arm as if that would somehow make him admit that what he said was wrong.

Sirius nodded and shook his arm away. "Yes... why? What's the matter? Did something happen to Harry while he was at the Dursleys? Remus… what the hell is going on?"

Remus didn't answer him. He had been overcome by a sinking feeling in his stomach at this piece of information, and he didn't know how to begin answering all of Sirius's questions. Finding his voice again, he muttered "Oh gods… no…. oh no… what happened!"

Sirius's eyes darted back and forth as he stared in Remus's face, seemingly trying to understand why he was becoming increasingly upset. "I said I didn't know! I was trying something on in the back with the sales lady and when I came out Harry had stunned his uncle… I didn't see what happened…"

"You left him alone! You. Left. Him. Alone!" Remus said so menacingly that his teeth were clenched tightly together. "How could you do that to him?"

Sirius looked quite shame faced. "It was only for a moment and Tonks was outside standing guard-" he tried to explain.

"God damn it, Sirius! You have no idea what you have done!" Remus screamed at him.

Realizing that the person he needed to be dealing with was behind a closed door doing God knows what, Remus turned away from his friend and concentrated on getting to Harry. "Harry! Harry! Let me in!" he yelled, as he knocked on the door once more.

"Remus… tell me what's wrong," Sirius demanded, but he was ignored.

Remus knocked again. Still there was no reply. Remus knew he had to get to the boy he now considered as his "cub" before it was too late. Harry had come such a long way in the healing process, but he knew better than to assume that he was strong enough to suppress the urge to cut.

"HARRY!" he tried once more. Getting no response, he pressed his ear to the door.

"Remus, what's going on?" asked Sirius, pushing Remus's shoulder get his attention. Apparently, he was becoming increasingly agitated that Remus wasn't telling him anything.

"Shut up so I can listen!"

"But I-"

"SHUT UP!" Remus screamed, pressing his ear closer to the door. He wasn't sure what he was listening for- maybe it was for some sign of life- but he listened just the same. Unfortunately, there was utter silence on the other side of the door.

Standing so close the door he suddenly was able to sense the presence of magic emitting from it and figured that Harry had placed charms on his door to keep them out. Remus quickly cast a spell to open the door and another to end a silencing charm just in case. Remus knew that it would be one of the first spells Harry would think of to keep them from knowing what was going on behind that locked door. (He certainly had asked Remus to do it enough times while Sirius was in the house to keep him from hearing his screams at night).

Holding his breath, he slowly pushed open Harry's door. The sight he saw on the other side cut through his very soul. For a brief moment he stood there staring at the image before him not wanting to believe that what he was seeing was real. So wrapped up in what he was seeing and feeling Remus barely heard Sirius's surprised gasp behind him.

Unimaginable sorrow filled him at the sight of Harry's frail body. There was Harry upon his knees, his back half turned to them, with a small pool of blood staining the sisal rug beneath him. He was crying openly as he stared at the cuts lining both of his arms as they bled freely on the floor. The beautiful dagger he had been given for his birthday was clutched tightly in one bloodied hand. He had yet to notice that the door had opened or the presence of the adults in all of his agony. A feeling of overwhelming anguish permeated the air to the point that it was almost suffocating.

"Oh Merlin! Harry… what have you done?" Sirius cried, trying to get past Remus to his godson. Remus reached out and grabbed Sirius's arm to stop him. "Remus, let me by… he's hurt!"

Remus looked deep into his friend's eyes and said, "Stay here," with such ferocity that it froze Sirius in place. It wasn't often that Remus spoke to someone in such a manner so when he did people knew better than to question him. It probably helped that Sirius knew that Harry was closer to Remus now, so he let him proceed without interfering.

Remus took a deep breath and turned back to Harry. He hated seeing that his suspicions earlier had been confirmed. He didn't even think twice about what he was doing, he just instantly went into action. He quickly crossed the room and moved carefully in front of Harry. Upon see his guardian, Harry relaxed somewhat and let out a pathetic whimper revealing his guilt. Remus gently took the dagger that now lay listlessly in his hand and observed his self-inflicted wounds more closely. Harry had made three neat cuts into each of his arms, but thankfully they did not appear to be life threatening.

"I'm sorry…" Harry whispered, almost inaudibly. He began to sob and it was all Remus could do to remain calm.

Remus quickly tossed the knife aside so that it was no longer in Harry's sight. He didn't even realize that it had skittered across the hard wood floor towards Sirius, who promptly picked up the birthday gift and stared at the bloodied blade in absolute horror. The werewolf grabbed a discarded t-shirt from the floor and used it clear up some of the blood as best as he could so that he could see the wounds more clearly.

Knowing that he had to heal Harry first before he dealt with any of the emotional problems that he was going through, Remus sat down upon his knees and began to slowly and methodically heal each wound. Each one required a cleansing spell and then a healing spell that took a tremendous amount of effort, especially for someone who wasn't accustomed to healing magic.

After Harry's last episode, Remus had learned from Madam Pomfrey what to do if something like this were to happen again. They were both well aware how close they came to losing him last time, and they didn't want to repeat that event if necessary. At least now Remus could heal him directly instead of bringing him to Hogwarts, therefore saving precious time.

Listening to Harry's sobbing almost broke Remus's heart. He kept whispering over and over, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

Glancing up he saw that Sirius had taken a few steps forward. Remus knew he wanted to understand what was happening, but now was not the time. He shook his head determinedly at Sirius to explain that he needed to stay away. He seemed to understand, and stood there numbly staring at them in confusion.

"Shh… it's okay Harry, it's okay…" he said soothingly, as he continued to work. Harry had worked himself into quite an emotional state and he knew that he had to be careful while dealing with him.

After a few moments, Remus began to tire. Healing another person was quite draining and the werewolf was growing increasingly more fatigued as he mended Harry's wounds.

As he finished up he heard Harry say, "I couldn't help it… I-I tried to stop, like… like you taught me… but I couldn't help it…"

Remus quickly cast another cleansing charm to get rid of the remaining blood on his arms. He then gently pulled Harry into a hug, being careful not to startle him. He tucked the boy's head underneath his chin and gently stroked his hair to soothe him. Harry stiffened in his arms at first, but then gradually leaned into the warm embrace continuing to cry. "Shh… it's okay… shh…."

"I'm so sorry… please forgive me… don't send me away…" Harry whispered, almost inaudibly.

Remus was startled by this statement and didn't know what to make of it. Did Harry think he would just give him up for a moment of weakness? Where did Harry think he would send him? Back to the Dursleys? Or maybe to St. Mungo's? After the last incident Harry had made it emphatically clear that he never wanted to go some sort of mental hospital for his self-mutilation, but did he harbor some small fear that he might be sent there anyway? Whatever the case may be he needed to make sure that Harry understood that that would never happen. Harry needed to know that the cabin would always be his home.

"Of course I forgive. We'll get past this like we did before. I would never send you away… I love you…" Remus said softly. "This will always be your home…"

Harry broke down into tears again, sobbing into his chest. Clutching him tightly to his chest, Remus looked around the room to further assess the situation. The rug was completely ruined now and he would have to remove it a little later. There wasn't a spell strong enough that could remove that amount of blood from the woven fibers. He then saw that the bedroom mirror had been shattered somehow and that there were tiny pieces of paper scattered all over his floor. He could only assume that the Muggle-looking paper had come from Harry's journal. He must have attempted to write down what happened, only to find that it wasn't enough to stop the pain he was feeling inside.

After a short while Remus pulled Harry back gently so that he could look into his pale face. He had seen the bruises on his neck and face earlier, but he had had to wait to assess them until he had controlled the flow of bleeding. Harry's left eye was nearly swollen shut and the purple bruises on his neck were clearly in the shape of someone's hands. It all reminded Remus a little too much of what he had witness in Harry's pensieve a few months ago, and he had to fight the rising bile in the back of his throat at the memory.

"Harry, can I heal these bruises too?" he asked gently.

Harry nodded solemnly and tried once again to wipe away his tears. His normally bright green eyes were now surrounded by red bloodshot veins from the amount of crying he had done since his encounter with his uncle.

All Remus wanted to do right now was to scream and throw things because of what his uncle had done to him, but he kept his temper in check. He knew better than to show his anger around Harry, especially at a time like this. The slightest elevation in the tone of voice would send Harry into a quivering mess. He had to swallow thickly a few times to fight the nausea that was beginning to overcome him. Having witnessed the rape in Harry's pensieve had been one of the most difficult things Remus had ever done. And seeing the bruising evidence of near strangulation on the boy's neck, so similar to what happened to Harry only a year ago, made him feel the uncontrollable rage coursing through his veins. Even though he had just gone through a transformation, he could feel the wolf inside of him begging to tear loose and kill the man that hurt his cub.

Keeping his rising anger at bay, Remus used another spell to minimize some of the bruising on Harry's face and neck. He was unable to heal them completely. He lacked the expertise necessary. Fortunately, the swelling and dark coloration had been reduced greatly, but he would need to use a healing salve to complete the process. At least now Harry wouldn't feel any of the pain.

Remus took a moment to study Harry's fading bruises and abruptly remembered that he should have recorded the injuries in some way before he healed them. He sighed deeply in frustration over his careless actions. He had just instinctively begun healing the teen before he thought about what the courts might need to press charges. Remus had no idea where Dursley was at the moment, but evidence would be needed before he could be brought in.

Standard procedure called for pictures to be taken when a wizard or witch was assaulted by someone, as well as a written report on the attack. From past experience he knew that he Harry wouldn't have allowed such a thing anyway, and he felt a little less guilty about not following protocol. He would try to persuade Harry once again to press charges, but in his heart he knew that he would never do such a thing. Harry was too protective of what little privacy he had from the media, and this wasn't exactly something he wanted the rest of the wizarding world to know.

Remus cast a quick glance at Sirius, who was still standing eerily quiet in the doorway. It was amazing that his best friend had managed to stay silent for so long and he prayed that he could do so for just a few moments longer. He gave Sirius a meaningful look and then turned his attention back towards Harry, who was seemed to be in better control of himself. Harry had calmed down considerably in the last few minutes and Remus felt that he might be up to talking now.

"Are you okay now? Do you feel a little better?" Remus asked, gently pushing back a lock of hair that had fallen in Harry's face.

Harry thought about it for a moment and shook his head. He glanced down at his arms, which were lying limply in his lap, and began to trace some of the older scars. He seemed disappointed that his newer wounds had "magically" disappeared. Remus had caught Harry cutting himself in enough time that the cuts he inflicted upon himself today would not leave scar tissue. At least not this time.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Remus asked. Harry shook his head again and sniffled loudly.

Not willing to back down just yet, he asked. "Did you run into your uncle while you were shopping?"

Harry's head snapped up at the question, and Remus recognized the fear in his eyes. Harry _had_ seen the man that had systematically ruined his life since he was one year old. A small part of Remus had hoped that Sirius had been lying, but he knew the man too well to know that he would never do such a thing.

"Did he hurt you?" Remus asked, meaning the fading bruises that still lined his face and neck.

Harry shook his head, to Remus's surprise. He silently wondered about that. Maybe Harry didn't associate the word "hurt" with being beaten, but with the other… more heinous of Vernon's crimes. Remus inwardly sighed in relief that Vernon had not violated him again. Harry couldn't possibly recover from something like that again.

"Of course he did… no one else was there…" Sirius muttered in an irritated tone.

"What happened?" Remus asked, eyeing Sirius again, who was still lingering in the doorway.

"Sirius knows…" Harry said softly, refusing to look up at him.

"Knows what, Harry? Knows what happened?" Remus whispered back, using the same tone Harry had just a moment ago. It was a therapy technique he had learned early in his training which allowed a patient to feel a little less threatened by difficult questioning.

"That I'm a freak!" Harry cried. He buried his face in his hands and began to noticeably shake.

Apparently Sirius could not stand to wait in the doorway any longer and felt it necessary to intrude upon the pair's conversation. "Harry, you're not a freak…" he said, finally entering the room and putting a hand on his godson's shoulder.

"NO! Leave me alone!" Harry cried, swatting away Sirius's hand and scrambling back towards the bed. Sirius stared in bewilderment and kneeled beside Remus who was trying to get Harry's attention.

"Harry… it's okay…" Remus said, trying to calm him down.

"It's not okay! Uncle Vernon was right all along! I'm just a worthless freak!" he screamed. Harry brought his knees up to his chest, put his arms over his head, and curled in a tight little protective ball.

"I want to understand what's going on. Harry, just tell me what happened…" Sirius said. He grabbed Harry by the wrists in an attempt to uncoil him so that he could talk to him properly. Harry didn't take it very well and began screaming the word "NO!" over and over again.

"Stop it, Sirius!" Remus yelled, as he pried Sirius's hands way from Harry. "You're scaring him!"

Sirius looked at him in bewilderment and then stared down at Harry. They were both alarmed by what he was saying now as he rocked himself back in forth in his tight little ball.

"No… stop… I don't want to play anymore games!" he whispered desperately.

"Oh shit…" Remus muttered under his breath, realizing what Harry was implying. He still didn't know what had transpired between Harry and his uncle, but somehow Harry now believed that Sirius was going to hurt him the same way his uncle had for so many years. "Sirius, I need you to leave us alone, please," he tried to say calmly.

"What? Hell no! I'm not leaving until I know what the fuck is going on!" Sirius yelled.

"Sirius, be reasonable… there are things going on here that you know nothing about. Please just leave," Remus said again, rising to his feet. He placed himself between Harry and Sirius, blocking their view of each other in an attempt at calming them both down.

Sirius stood up to meet him and crossed his arms over his chest like he was taking a stand. "Like hell I will! Harry just tried to commit suicide and you're treating him as if nothing happened. Like you almost knew what you were going to see when you opened the door!"

"Sirius-" Remus warned him again in a soft tone, hoping that his friend would get the hint and lower his as well. He glanced nervously at Harry trying to decide what to do. He really couldn't leave Harry's side at a time like this, but Sirius was becoming increasingly irate and could do more damage to this situation than had already been done. Tiredly, Remus wracked his brain trying to find a solution. He just had no idea what to do at the moment.

"No, don't dare interrupt me! You have both been keeping things from me and I want to know what the hell is going on!" Sirius was screaming at the top of his lungs now and Harry was just as much as a mess as ever, sobbing on the floor behind Remus.

Finally not being able to take Sirius's immature behavior anymore, Remus yelled, "I can't believe how you are acting. Don't you see how you're upsetting him! Get out of here right now!"

"I'm not going anywhere until I know what is wrong with my godson!" Sirius roared, trying shove Remus aside.

By now Remus had had enough. He grabbed Sirius roughly by the arm and dragged him out into the hallway, away from Harry. Sirius tried to resist but found that he was overcome by his friend's strength. Amazingly, Remus was much stronger than his friend even with his frail body. His werewolf powers must have been kicking in with the levels of adrenaline rushing through his body.

"You need to leave us alone right now so I can talk to Harry…" he whispered in a fierce tone. "You're only making things worse!"

"I don't understand! What the fuck is happening!" Sirius screamed towards the ceiling. It was clear that he was near his wit's end.

"I can't deal with both of you right now!" Remus yelled. "You are going to go downstairs right now and wait for me until I know that Harry is okay!"

"NO! I'm not leaving Harry! Something is wrong with him!" Sirius protested. "You know, don't you? Why won't you tell me!"

Remus took a deep calming breath, willing himself to stay in control of this situation. He had to keep his head about him if he was going to be able to deal with either one of them right now. "You're right, something is wrong with Harry… And if you don't shut up right now and do as I say, then he may do something much worse than what you saw before! You are scaring him, Sirius. Don't you understand that?"

Sirius's eyes became watery and he looked away in shame. "But…I…." Sirius was unable to form anything intelligent, so he just simply closed his mouth.

"Whatever happened today has deeply affected him and stirred up a lot of old memories-" Remus began.

"What memories?" Sirius asked, his eyes darting back to look at Remus searchingly.

"Harry doesn't want you to know-"

Sirius looked at him indignantly. "What! I'm his godfather! I have a right to know!"

"I know… and after what happened today I fear it can no longer be kept a secret. I tried to get Harry to tell you before, but well…" Remus looked back into the room, making sure Harry was where he had left him. Harry had not moved from his position on the floor and continued to rock himself back and forth in a comforting motion.

"Remus… please, tell me what is wrong with my godson…" Sirius pleaded, his eyes filling with tears.

Seeing how upset his friend had become, Remus finally relented. It was unfair to withhold this information from him any longer, and by now it was impossible. Sirius wouldn't stop until he found out the truth. "I will… but not now… I need a few minutes alone with him… I need you to wait downstairs…"

Remus stared into Sirius's grey eyes hoping to make him understand. All he saw though was such pain. Sirius had been through a lot and now he was hurting from the fact that something was wrong with Harry and he was powerless to help him. It probably hurt even worse to know that Remus somehow could help him.

Seeing that he wasn't going to win, Sirius nodded finally and turned towards the stairs. He looked rather numb about everything that had happened so far. Remus watched as he descended the steps, before he let out a breath that he seemed to have been holding.

He rubbed his face tiredly and reentered Harry's bedroom. Harry was still sitting on the floor all curled up, but he didn't appear to be crying anymore. Remus kneeled next to the teen.

Seeing his guardian beside him again, Harry whispered, "Sirius hates me now."

"Sirius, doesn't hate you…" Remus replied, gently rubbing the boys arm in consolation. He noticed that Harry hadn't flinched away this time.

"Yes, he does," Harry insisted.

"I promise you he doesn't… he's just very confused right now…"

"Are you going to tell him everything?" Harry asked.

Remus sighed deeply. "I'm afraid I have to, Harry. He's very concerned about you."

Harry's face crumpled in misery and he buried it in his arms, which were still wrapped around his knees. "I know you don't want me to Harry, but he needs to know," said Remus.

"I know…" Harry whispered, looking very much defeated.

"Can you tell me what happened now?" Remus asked. "Please, Harry… I need to know…"

Harry nodded finally, and licked his lips in preparation to tell his tale. "It all happened so fast… Sirius was in the back and… and I felt my dragon pendant grow warm… did you know it worked on Muggles wanting to do harm to me, not just wizards and Dementors?" he asked somewhat distractedly.

"No, I didn't," Remus admitted. "Please continue…"

"I turned around and my u-uncle… he was standing there… he g-grabbed me and said some stuff… and he tried to take me back to Privet Drive, I think… I-I was so scared, but I fought back… I finally remembered my wand… and I stunned him," Harry revealed, in a rather shaky voice. His reddened eyes had become watery, but he managed to breathe deeply and hold the relentless tears at bay.

"What did your uncle say to you?" he asked.

"I don't want to talk about it right now…" Harry said softly.

Remus pursed his lips in frustration. He wanted to force Harry to tell him more, but Remus knew better than to push him when he didn't want to talk. It was an agreement he had made with him when he first started their therapy sessions. He could ask as many questions as he wanted, but it was up to Harry when he wanted to answer. Pushing Harry too hard or too fast before he was ready could have serious consequences.

"Alright…" Remus replied quietly. Looking at the young man beside him he could see that three was something he wanted to say. "What is it, Harry?"

"It's just…er… am I in trouble now?" asked Harry, worry evident in his small voice.

"No, of course not, why?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Because I used magic on my uncle…"

"That was in self defense. You would never be in trouble for something like that," Remus explained. Harry's body seemed to have relaxed in relief.

Thinking about the matter further, he realized that he never asked Sirius would become of Harry's uncle. For all he knew he could still be stunned back at the shop they had been in. He had a suspicion, however, that the Ministry may have detected Harry's magical signature and sent in Aurors to investigate. He made a mental to ask Sirius about it later. For now he needed to focus on making sure Harry was okay.

Seeing the exhaustion on Harry's bruised face, he added, "Let's get you into bed. I think you need some rest."

Harry nodded and stood carefully. He toed off his trainers and climbed on top of the bed fully clothed. He lay down and curled into the fetal position. Remus sat beside him and rubbed Harry's back reassuringly.

"I'm sorry you had to go through any of this. I don't know what your uncle said to you, Harry… but I can assure you that nothing that man says is true. You are a wonderful person and I love you very much… as much as if you were my own son… so does Sirius," he added as an afterthought. "You will always have a place in my heart Harry, and the cabin will forever be your home."

"Thank you…" Harry said softly. His eyes were beginning to droop now with exhaustion.

Remus knew he was about to fall asleep so he quickly said, "You know that I will be placing locking charms on anything you could use to harm yourself as well, right?"

I know…"

"And that I'm going to have to confiscate your wand for the time being…" he added.

"I know…"

The last time Harry cut himself he had transfigured a knife out of a plastic comb when he couldn't find a blade in time to fulfill his need. Now that he was no longer under age, he could use magic anytime he felt necessary, which meant that hiding sharp objects wouldn't be enough.

"Is there anything in your room I need to know about?" Remus asked. He hated having to ask any of this, but it was necessary. In the past Harry had hidden pins and other such small objects about his room and trunk just in case he needed to hurt himself. Remus wanted to believe that he had found them all before, but he needed to be sure.

"No," Harry said automatically. From the tone of his voice, Remus knew he was telling the truth. He sighed in relief, grateful that for the past few months Harry had successfully kept himself from harming his body.

"I need to go downstairs and deal with Sirius now. We will talk about this more when you're ready..."

"I really didn't want him to know…" Harry whimpered. One small tear escaped from his closed eyes.

Remus wiped it away tenderly and kissed him on the forehead. "I know, kiddo, but we really have no choice now. He has a right to know and he won't stop until he finds out. I promise you, everything is going to be okay…"

Harry shrugged uncertainly and curled his body up a little tighter in a protective manner. Seeing him so obviously full of pain, Remus had an idea. "Would you like me to call Draco over to sit with you?" he asked. He hoped that his boyfriend might be able to provide some of level of comfort while he dealt with Sirius.

Harry lay there uncertainly for a moment, and then finally nodded his head. "Alright, then. He'll be here in just a moment. Rest now, and let me know how you're feeling later. I don't think you'll need a blood replenishing draught, but if you still feel weak a bit later it might be necessary."

"Okay…" Harry replied, as he closed his eyes.

Remus stood up and gently stroked Harry's black locks a few times before he turned away. "Everything will be alright… I promise you…" he said once more.

He tiredly walked out of the room, making sure to pick up Harry's wand, which still lay on the floor. He then closed the door behind him, confident that Harry wouldn't harm himself again tonight. Tomorrow… and the day after… well, that was a different matter. But for now he trusted that the teen would be alright until Draco arrived. He descended the steps wearily, and was quickly greeted by an impatient looking Sirius.

"Remus, tell me what the hell is going on!" he demanded.

Remus held up a hand to stop his friend and shook his head. "Give me a moment… please…" he begged.

"Fine," Sirius replied angrily. He childishly stalked over to one of the couches and plopped down with his arms crossed to wait.

Remus nodded indifferently and then walked towards the fireplace. He threw some floo powder into the fireplace, stuck his head in and called out his destination. He was momentarily overcome with dizziness, but soon everything came into focus.

Soon the image of the living room at Number 12 Grimmauld Place appeared before him. Seeing Draco sitting comfortably reading a large book by himself, Remus breathed a sigh of relief. He really didn't want to involve the Weasleys just yet and he was grateful he had caught the blonde alone.

Startled to see Remus's face in the fireplace, Draco jumped up from the chair he was sitting in and quickly said, "Professor Lupin, what is it?"

"Draco, I need your help. It's about Harry. I need you to come here immediately," Remus said in a clam, clear voice.

"Let me just write a note," Draco responded, as he walked over to the living room desk. He knew better than to leave without telling one of the Weasleys where he had gone off to. Molly would have "kittens" as Ron liked to say.

Remus to withdrew his head from the fireplace and then backed away so that he wouldn't collide with the young teen as he flooed over. By now Sirius was on his feet again pacing back and forth.

"Malfoy! You called Malfoy? Why the hell would Harry want to see him at a time like this?" Sirius screamed.

Remus merely shook his head at him to signal that now was not the time. Sirius threw his hands up in the air in frustration as he began to pace again. Moments later, Draco came tumbling out of the fireplace as the green flames disappeared behind him.

"What's happened?" Draco asked, dusting the soot off his clothing. The blonde instinctively knew that where Harry was concerned, anything was possible.

Remus could think of no other way to tell him other than being blunt. "Harry ran into his uncle today while shopping."

"What? Where is he?" Draco asked anxiously. Seeing Sirius now for the first time, Draco looked back at Remus worriedly. He knew how much effort Harry had put forth to hide his past and their relationship from his grandfather. Remus merely shook his head slightly to indicate that he shouldn't say anything else at the moment.

Sirius was glaring daggers at them from only a few feet away, trying to figure out what was going on. He had managed to somehow circle around to the back of the couch during his incessant pacing. He was now leaning behind the couch, gripping the top of it tightly in his hands until his knuckles turned white from the effort.

"He's up in his room…" Remus replied. Seeing that Draco was going to go his love without another word, he grabbed the blonde's arm to deliver one last message. "You should know that he cut himself again… try to get him to talk…"

Draco hung his head dejectedly and nodded in understanding. Then taking the stairs two at a time, he raced upstairs to see his Harry.

"I can't see my godson right now, but you're going to let Malfoy! What the hell is going on!" Sirius yelled.

"Keep your voice down and have a seat," Remus ordered, sitting across from him the other couch.

"I don't want to-"

"I said SIT DOWN!" Remus said more forcefully. He leaned forward so that his elbows were on his knees and used his fingertips to massage his temples. This wasn't going to be easy, and he was already tired and feeling a headache coming on.

Sirius sat down, but made a big show about how upset he was in the process. He sat there huffily, waiting for Remus to continue. When it seemed he wasn't going to begin explaining, Sirius started in on him again.

"Why is Malfoy here?" he asked again.

"Because I needed someone to look after Harry while I dealt with you…."

"But why Malfoy? Why not Ron or Hermione?" Sirius asked in frustration.

"Because… because Harry needs Draco right now…" Remus said softly. He knew he wouldn't be able to explain Draco's presence without revealing the truth of their relationship.

"I don't get it..."

"Sirius, think about it. Do I really need to come out and say it?" Remus asked, rubbing his face again tiredly.

"You mean to tell me that… Harry and Malfoy… _Harry and Malfoy_…" Sirius asked in disbelief, putting the pieces of the puzzle together. Remus only nodded. "I don't believe it!"

"His name is _Draco_, and you better start believing it because nothing will ever separate those two. They've been through too much together," Remus replied.

"How long?" he demanded.

Remus looked upwards trying to think of an answer. "I'm not really sure. I think since last summer…"

"You've got to be kidding me. But he's a Malfoy!" Sirius yelled, indignantly.

"And you're a Black. That doesn't mean that you're anything like your family, Sirius," Remus reminded him.

"But Harry told me all the awful things that Malfoy said and did to his friends! How could he put all of that aside?" he questioned angrily.

"He's changed, I guess… He and Harry share a similar past. Draco would die if it meant he could save Harry. They love each other deeply," said Remus.

"That ring Harry got for his birthday… it's from him isn't it?"

Remus only nodded. There was a moment of silence as Sirius tried to process this new bit of information. "Why didn't Harry tell me?" Sirius asked sadly. "Why did you both lie to me?"

"He wasn't sure how you would react. He didn't think you would approve of the fact he is gay."

Sirius sighed softly. "Oh, honestly, I would never shun my godson… I love him…"

"I know you do, Padfoot…" Remus replied, with a smile.

"Remus… tell me what is wrong with Harry. What happened with his uncle? Why did he cut his arms? Was he trying to commit suicide?"

"It wasn't suicide…"

"Then what is going on?" Sirius pleaded. "I'm freaking out here. You need to tell me something."

"It's a long story…"

"I have all night," said Sirius, making himself comfortable on the couch to illustrate the point.

Remus nodded and leaned forward on his elbows, clasping his hands tightly together. He took a few deep breaths and finally looked back at his long time friend.

"Sirius… I don't even know where to begin… so I just will come out and say it. Harry was abused while he was living with the Dursleys…"

* * *

A/N: I hope you all appreciate the update. This chapter would have been up sooner, but is apparently having some issues in its system. I hope you liked it. This was the scene that sparked the rest of the story. I really struggled with Sirius's characterization again. He turned out differently than I originally planned, but that is probably a good thing for Harry. He was originally going to be much scarier. Let me know what you thought! 

A/N2: Those of you who follow my other story _Shattered Illusions_, please forgive me for not updating. It's hard to write for both stories at the same time right now and I really wanted to write these last few chapters for _Somewhere_ before I focused on anything else. I promise I will start writing for _Shattered_ again as soon as possible. I will never give up on either story, and both will be seen through until the end. I don't want to rush them either, because I feel I owe it to myself and my readers to always produce quality work… so I guess I'm trying to say don't expect regular updates on either story. I'm doing the best that I can.

**_Many thanks to all my wonderful reviewers.__I was simply overwhelmed by how much you all loved the last chapter. I hope you found this one to be equally satisfying_.**


	10. Bitter Truth

A/N: I'm so sorry for the lateness of this chapter! I really am. I know it has been a month now since I last updated. Believe it or not I had a hard time telling Sirius what happened to poor Harry in this story… I just didn't want him to know all the pain his godson has had to suffer. But he has a right to know. I hope you like how Remus explains it all. It was unbelievably difficult to write because there was so much to say and I had to find a delicate balance in revealing everything. I can't tell you how many times I rearranged things, rewrote scenes, and revised everything. I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with how this turned out. Let me know what you think in a review.

**Chapter 10- Bitter Truth **

Regret is an undeniably hard dish to swallow. It is that unshakable feeling that comes without warning and then settles neatly inside of your heart so that all that you feel is the pain of all your mistakes, with no hope of alleviation in sight. That what Harry was feeling right now. Regret.

He made so many mistakes in his life, so many foolish, misguided mistakes. Seeing Uncle Vernon again today brought it all back until it seemed almost fresh and new. Believing deep down that if he could only please his relatives they might love him in return… never telling anyone what was truly happening in his so-called home… hiding his pain for so long… picking up a blade that first time… ever allowing his uncle to come near him… letting himself be manipulated by so many, including Dumbledore and Voldemort alike… letting his Muggle uncle scare him when he was now almost a fully trained wizard, and technically an adult…

Harry wished he could go back to so many points in his life and change things, anything, for the better. But he knew that was impossible and that he had to face this newest development or drown in the sad depression that was currently overcoming him. He hated that he had succumbed to his own weaknesses and had cut yet again, effectively shattering the trust he had built with the ones he loved.

He lay there in his room in the cabin on top of his bed in a protective little ball as his mind raced over the day's events. The small teen couldn't stop thinking about everything, even as exhausted as he now was. His eyes were closed, but sleep would not come.

He wanted to truly believe Remus when he said, "_Everything will be alright… I promise you,"_ but he just couldn't. Even with all the support that Remus provided him, it still seemed as if his world were crashing down upon him once again.

Harry lay there on his side as a quiet numbness overcame him. If he concentrated hard enough, he could almost feel the incisions that he had made on his arms earlier and he found it somewhat comforting. If he focused on the phantom pain, then he didn't have to think about what was bothering him most… that Remus was going to tell Sirius everything.

"_He's going to know…"_ Harry thought pitifully. He wasn't sure how Sirius would react to any of it. He knew that Sirius was still an emotional wreck sometimes from his stay in Limbo. Would this finally send him over the edge? What if he did something irrational? What if he hated Harry for what he had let his uncle to do him? He couldn't bear to think about any of it.

Soon there was a soft knock on his door. Not trusting his voice to give a response, Harry lay there silently willing who ever it was to just go away. Suddenly the handle on his door turned and a platinum blond head poked into the room. "It's me… can I come in?" Draco asked softly.

Harry felt his heart skip at the sight of him. He had almost forgotten Remus's suggestion to have Draco come sit with him while he talked to Sirius. Harry nodded from where he lay on the bed, and watched as Draco closed the door behind him and approached the bed cautiously.

It was late afternoon by now and the fading sunlight was now streaming through the trees and into Harry's open window, highlighting Draco's pale features with its soft glow. At that moment, he had never looked more angelic. There was a soft smile on his face, meant to reassure his love, but it soon slipped away as his eyes took in Harry's form lying on the bed. Now there was a slightly pained look on his face, as if seeing Harry like this was too much for him.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked, sitting beside Harry on the bed. Draco reached out and rubbed his arm gently to let him know how worried he was.

Harry simply shrugged, because he wasn't sure if he should nod or shake his head, and it's impossible to do both. He could see that Draco was taking in not only his battered appearance, for the bruises were still fading, but also the state of his room. "Can you tell me what happened, love?"

Harry shook his head no. "Are you tired?" Draco asked, seeing that Harry's eyes were becoming heavy lidded. This time Harry nodded because he couldn't deny the fact that he was quite exhausted. "Then get some sleep. I will be right here when you wake up."

And with that, Draco got up and walked around the bed. Before Harry could protest, the blond had already climbed into bed behind him and wrapped his arms around him. Harry instinctively recoiled at the touch and tried to pull away, but Draco refused to let go.

"Draco, I don't know…" Harry said almost fearfully. Today had left him reeling and he wasn't sure what to think or feel anymore.

"It's alright, Harry, it's me…I won't hurt you," Draco softly whispered. He pulled Harry against his chest and wrapped his arms around him more tightly, spooning him with his legs.

"Please… I can't…" Harry whispered desperately. His voice was suddenly choked with emotion. Seeing his uncle again had brought back too many memories… memories he would never be able to forget even with the help of a pensieve.

He didn't really understand what Draco wanted right now and he felt himself getting defensive. Panic rising in his chest, Harry tried to pull away from the embrace, only to find his boyfriend scooting up beside him again. He took a few shuddering breaths trying to get himself under control. He felt so foolish for reacting this way when he had cuddled with Draco hundreds of times in the last year, but he couldn't help feeling the way that he did right now. He just couldn't stand being intimate right now… not after what his uncle said to him… and done to him so many times.

"I just can't… my uncle… h-he… Draco, I'm sorry…" Harry tried to explain, his voice still choked with emotion.

"It's alright, just rest… all I'm going to do his hold you, love… nothing else… you don't have to worry about anything else right now…" Draco said reassuringly, refusing to let him go. "You can tell me later…"

Realizing Draco's intentions now were innocent, Harry whispered, "I'm s-sorry… it's just…" He couldn't finish. The lump in his throat had returned and he found that he couldn't speak if he wanted to. His eyes became glassy once again, and a few tears trickled down his face, wetting his pillow. He felt so foolish to be overcome by such grief over his childhood and all the awful things that had happened to him, but he couldn't stop thinking about it all.

"Shh… it's okay… I'm here…" Draco whispered in his ear.

He was grateful that Draco loved him enough to know that he wasn't ready to talk about anything just yet, and could simply be there for him. It was times like these that he knew that they were truly soul mates, in tune to each other's hearts and bodies, giving each other exactly what the other needed. Harry lay there a long while, relishing the warmth of Draco's body behind him. His boyfriend's mere presence had calmed him considerably in the last few minutes and he found that he could finally fall asleep without worrying what was being said down below.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Remus looked away from his best friend, who was sitting across from him on the other couch, and tried to collect his thoughts. He knew this conversation would be difficult, but he never realized just how much so, especially in light of what had happened to Harry today. Remus leaned forward on his elbows, clasping his hands tightly together. He took a few deep breaths and finally looked back at his long time friend. "Sirius… I don't even know where to begin… so I just will come out and say it. Harry was abused while he was living with the Dursleys…"

"What?" Sirius asked in disbelief. His body seemed to visibly tense as he heard Remus utter those awful words.

"Harry was abused by the Dursleys. It's the reason why he was upset when he saw his uncle today. I only just found out last summer," Remus revealed.

Sirius was speechless for a moment, his eyes wide and his body still, in apparent shock. After a while he began to shake his head back and forth, almost imperceptibly, as he tried to find the words to describe how he was feeling. "But that can't be… I mean, I know that he didn't like his relatives and all, but… Harry would have said something to me if something like that were happening… he wouldn't… he wouldn't just keep something like that a secret," Sirius protested, not wanting to believe the truth.

"Unfortunately it is true, Sirius, as much as I hate to admit it…" Remus replied softly. "They treated him very badly…"

He watched Sirius's face as it contorted with a mixture of emotions. Remus was sure that he could see Sirius going through different stages of confusion, betrayal, disbelief, and out right horror as he stared into his friend's pale eyes.

"Are you trying to say… you can't mean… aren't you just referring to what the Weasleys told us at headquarters last year?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about…" Remus said carefully. Sirius's memory was so sketchy sometimes it was hard to figure out what he was referring to, though Remus had pretty good idea where Sirius was going with this.

"Don't you remember last summer when Arthur and Molly pleaded with Dumbledore to get Harry out of Surrey… just before Harry encountered those Dementors…" he began.

"That was two summers ago, Sirius…" Remus reminded him. The distractedly wondered why it was time that Sirius always had the most trouble with when it came to his swiss cheese memory.

"Whatever… you know what I'm referring to," Sirius replied in an irritated tone. "The Weasleys made it clear that the Dursleys were not caring for Harry properly, making him do endless chores and being put on wild diets because of his cousin's weight issues. They wanted to get Harry out of there, especially after what happened to him in the Triwizard Tournament. They were afraid that he would be put back in his cupboard or that the Muggles would lock him in his room and put bars on his window again. That's what you're talking about, right?"

The more Sirius talked, the more he sounded like he had convinced himself that the limited amount of information he had was the "abuse" Remus was referring to. Although the neglect that Sirius knew about is child abuse, it paled in comparison to the horrors that his godson was actually put through. Remus shook his head sadly in response to Sirius's question.

Molly and Arthur had learned most of what they knew about Harry through their son Ron, who had been hesitant at first at betraying Harry's trust. Apparently he and Hermione had written letters to one another about how worried they were about their friend, and agreed that they needed to tell an adult what they knew about Harry's home life. Ron had approached his parents early that summer and they immediately called a meeting with Dumbledore, Remus, and Sirius to plead the case to remove Harry from his relative's care. Everyone had all been horrified then when they learned about how Harry was treated at home, but in light of Voldemort's return, they were defenseless to do anything about it.

Sirius had been particularly upset over learning that his godson spent his first ten years of childhood living in a cupboard. He spent the better part of that long night screaming at his former headmaster to do something to save his godson. Sirius had even made plans of his own to go and rescue Harry, but threats of stunning him and locking him in his room put all of that to a halt. Sirius hated the thought of becoming a prisoner in his own home any more than he already was.

Voldemort had only just been resurrected and there was no telling what his motives were just yet. After an intensely long conversation it was decided, with much hesitation, that Harry would remain with his relatives for as long as possible. Dumbledore insisted that as long as Harry wasn't coming to any physical harm that he was safest from the Death Eaters at his relatives' house because of his mother's blood sacrifice. The Order members placed around the house had been made aware of Harry's plight, but no one saw any indication that he was being harmed. This seemed to pacify Sirius to some extent.

If Harry had only said something… if they had only checked on him… they would have known that the abuse and neglect were so much more than they had suspected. They assumed that the neglect that Harry did suffer (that they knew about), while unfortunate, was not life threatening and therefore seemed less important than protecting Harry from Death Eaters.

They had no way of knowing that only days later Harry would be removed from the Dursleys care, but for very different reasons. The young teen had encountered Dementors while out walking with Dudley and had been forced to cast a patronus to protect himself and his cousin. As a result, Harry had to face the Wizengamot for the use of under-age magic and possible expulsion from Hogwarts. Fortunately, all charges had been dropped because of Dumbledore's influence over the court and it was decided that Harry could remain at the Order's Headquarters.

Everyone had been overjoyed at Harry's arrival at Grimmauld Place and had agreed that they would keep their secret conversation about Harry's home life to themselves. Sirius explained that he intended to get Harry to talk about it later, but that it never felt like the time. They acted as if they knew nothing was wrong, and Harry did just the same. Apparently he was incredible actor. Remus had reason to believe now that Harry had been sporting some injuries then, but had kept them hidden beneath his clothing. At the time, everyone was more concerned about Harry's angry outbursts, which seemed to have no rhyme or reason, to notice that anything else may have been wrong. Looking back now, Remus could conclude that Harry's uncharacteristic behavior then was a culmination of grief over Cedric's death, stress over the whole under-age magic fiasco, and the pressure to hide what his relatives had done to him to a house full of Order members.

"First I find out my godson is gay, dating Malfoy of all people, and now this!" Sirius suddenly shouted. "What are you going to tell me next!"

Surprised by his outburst, Remus carefully said, "I know… it's a lot to take in."

"It's not that... it's just… I-I don't understand… what did they do?" asked Sirius, trying to find the right words.

Remus sighed and closed his eyes when he saw the desperate look on Sirius's face. This was going to be difficult.

"Moony, tell me what's going on… tell me what they did to him…" Sirius pleaded, after Remus's long silence.

Remus opened his eyes again, knowing he simply couldn't hold off this conversation any longer. He was startled to see the bloodied dagger lying on the coffee table in front of him. He hadn't noticed it when he sat down, but figured that Sirius must have brought it down stairs with him when he was rudely ushered out of Harry's room. Remus made a mental effort not to look at it again so that he could remain focused.

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "I'm sure you know that the Dursleys weren't very nice to Harry based on what the Weasleys told us. They were down right neglectful. You may not know that they called him a freak and told him he was worthless all the time…"

"No, I didn't, but that makes sense with what Lily used to tell us about her magic hating sister…" Sirius said softly.

"Well, they also… they…" Remus struggled to say what he knew he must. There was no telling how Sirius would react.

"Remus, just say it!" Sirius said more loudly now, clearly growing more and more frustrated.

Remus looked him dead in the eye and said, "Sirius… they were beating Harry as well... apparently they thought they could beat the magic out of him…"

"No…that can't be…" Sirius replied, his hand coming up to his now opened mouth and his eyes becoming glassy with sadness.

Remus couldn't even respond at this point. This was so much harder than he had expected, if that was even possible. His throat was constricting tightly and he could feel his own eyes filling with unshed tears. There was a long moment of silence as Sirius sat there trying to understand it all. There was such sadness in his eyes. His pale grey orbs looked more haunted now then they did when he returned from beyond the veil.

Strangely, Sirius's eyes clouded over a few moments later until only anger remained behind them. Remus could feel his friend practically seething again as he processed what had been said so far. If his reaction now was any indication on how the rest of the night was going to go, Remus knew that this would probably get ugly.

"No… that can't be right. You're lying!" Sirius said suddenly, startling Remus greatly.

"What?"

"You're lying… Harry would have said something!" he yelled, jumping to his feet. "He wouldn't have kept something like this a secret. He knows better!"

Remus knew from his years as a therapist, even if he was an unlicensed one, that denial was always the first stage in acceptance. "I'm not lying…"

"Shut up! It can't be true… it can't…."

"I assure you that I'm not lying, Sirius…" Remus came around the coffee table and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. Sirius looked into his eyes and saw that he was in fact telling the truth. It was as if all the air had deflated out of him. His body slumped down slightly where he stood and he brought up his hands to cover his face.

"He's already been through so much… why this too…" he moaned.

Remus's hand was still on his shoulder and he could feel Sirius's body beginning to tremble. He knew then that Sirius was crying. Hearing him take a shuddering breath, Remus pulled his friend into a loose embrace. He held him quietly for a moment, letting Sirius grieve for Harry's lost childhood and the fact that he had done nothing to prevent him feeling such pain. Remus had gone through a similar stage when he saw Harry, broken and bruised, at the Burrow. There is nothing worse than knowing someone you love has suffered, and you were powerless to stop it.

Suddenly, Sirius pushed Remus away angrily. "Why didn't he ever tell me?" he asked, wiping away his tears. There was a sort of pain evident in his voice from not being told about situation.

Remus opened and closed his mouth, but found that he really didn't have an answer. He wasn't shocked by this sudden display of anger, for he had felt that too, but it was terrifying to see the rage behind Sirius's eyes.

"Has he been lying to me all this time?" Sirius yelled. "And don't tell me he hasn't, Remus. Omitting the truth is the same as outright lying!"

Remus nodded his head sadly, remembering how he felt about everything when he first learned about it last summer. "He lied to all of us, Sirius… he told me once that when he came to Hogwarts and met us all, that he just wanted to fit in and be a normal kid… he just didn't want anyone to know how bad he had it at home… he didn't want pity…"

"But they were hurting him! He should have said something!" Sirius screamed, pointing in the direction of where Harry lay in his bedroom. "I would have tried to help him!"

"Keep your voice down…" Remus chided him. "You never told anyone Sirius, and your father used to beat you as well…"

"But that's different!" Sirius exclaimed, folding his arms over his chest. "Besides, you and James knew…"

Remus rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Only after you ran away from home. And how is this any different?"

"I don't know, but it is. He should have told us!" Sirius yelled again.

Remus sighed and gently grabbed Sirius's arm, directing him to sit down on the couch behind him. He knew that Sirius was going to have to remain calm if they were going to get through this conversation. Harry didn't need to hear his godfather ranting and raving downstairs when he was trying to deal with his own emotional issues at the moment. He was thankful that he had enough presence of mind to call Draco over to sit with him while he informed Sirius what was going on. They sat beside one another, half facing each other, and Remus found that he could continue now.

"I know that and you know that… but he's been dealing with this for a very long time on his own. He doesn't know how to reach out to others very well. I started doing therapy sessions with him this year hoping that I could get him to open up more…"

"How did that go?" Sirius asked. There was hope now in his eyes that Harry would somehow heal from all of this.

"Harry has made a lot of progress…he was finally able to confide in me and tell me a lot of what happened… he's been using a journal to write down his thoughts and Dumbledore gave him a pensieve to help with some of the memories so that he could sleep through the night… he was becoming too dependent on sleeping draughts," Remus explained. "I'm worried today may have ruined it all…" he added softly.

"How long has this been going on?" Sirius asked, his voice catching in his throat again. He looked down at his hands which were now wringing nervously together in his lap.

Remus had to swallow thickly before he could continue. "I suspect that the abuse started when he was left with those horrible Muggles when he was a baby… can you imagine the emotional damage they have done to him since that time? They told him that he was a burden… that he was _freak_… that no one cared about him… and what's worse, he believed them. I think Harry was afraid that they would kill him if he ever told what was happening. Do you see why Harry would be reluctant to tell anyone?"

Sirius sat there with his mouth gaping open like a fish, clearly in shock. He ran a shaky hand through his long black hair as he tried to come to grips with the information he was hearing. "So that is reason why he reacted so badly when he saw his uncle today…" Apparently Sirius was beginning to understand the implications of Harry running into Vernon Dursley again.

"Yes…"

"Is that why he tried to commit suicide?" Sirius asked tearfully.

"I told you… it wasn't suicide. Harry cuts because… well, because hurting himself helps him escape the pain he is feeling inside…"

Sirius sat there quietly again, trying to process it all. His gaze fell upon the dagger on the table that Harry had used to cut himself. The very dagger Sirius had given him the night before as a birthday present. Looking somewhat alarmed, he said, "But I don't understand… I can see why seeing his abusive uncle would upset Harry, but why would that make him hurt himself… I never did anything like that and my old man hit me all the time… it doesn't make any sense…"

"Everyone is different Siri…victims of abuse often seek unconventional outlets to help them deal with what is happening to them. The fact that Harry is a cutter makes perfect sense when you understand his past…there is something else I haven't told you Sirius… something that has hurt Harry much more deeply…" There was a painful lump in his throat again, making it nearly impossible to speak. Remus's eyes filled with tears as well, but he would not allow them to fall. He had to remain strong... for Harry… for Sirius.

"What?" Sirius asked, visibly distraught by what he was learning. His eyes were now wide with fear over what he might learn next.

"I'm not so sure that you want to know, Padfoot," Remus replied gently, knowing that his friend's nickname would help to put him a little more at ease.

"I need to know what happened to him… please…" he pleaded.

Remus sighed again, for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. "I'm sorry to say that the abuse was much worse than we all suspected… you have no idea what he has been through…"

"What? There's more?" Sirius asked in disbelief. Remus nodded reluctantly. "What did they do to him? What haven't you told me?"

"The abuse wasn't limited to only emotional and physical abuse…" Remus began, feeling the lump in his throat growing larger and larger.

"I don't understand…. But that could only mean…" Sirius gasped and then whispered, "Please don't tell me… Harry wasn't also…he couldn't have been… you know… "

Remus nodded, knowing that Sirius understood what he was about to say next. "Harry was sexually abused as well…"

"Oh no…NO!" Sirius exclaimed. His eyes filled with tears again as he sank back against the couch. It was as if the life had blown out of him. "No… that can't be…"

Remus continued quickly while he felt like he still had the strength. "His uncle has repeatedly molested Harry since he was very young… he told him that it was what _good boy's_ did… made him do unspeakable things…"

Sirius looked like he was going to be sick.

"Harry didn't know any better or understand what was happening to him… he thinks that he let his uncle do it to him…"

Sirius's hand was over his mouth again, and it looked like he was trying to prevent himself from throwing up. "Oh god…how did you find all this out? During one of your… what did you call it? Therapy sessions?"

"No actually, Harry ran away from the Dursleys one night last summer when he had had enough… apparently he took the Knight Bus to the Burrow. Ron and Draco realized that he wasn't acting right and discovered what had happened to him… even then Harry didn't want anyone to know…" Remus revealed. "I didn't find out myself, until a little while later." He chose to leave out the part in which Harry had asked Remus to view the memory of the rape in the pensieve so that he could better help him in their sessions.

"Is this why Harry thinks he's a freak… because of what his uncle did to him?" Sirius asked sadly. Remus nodded.

After the initial shock had worn off, unimaginable rage seemed to fill Sirius's body. "I'm going to kill the bastard! No one touches James and Lily Potter's son and gets away with it!" Sirius jumped up quickly, plotting revenge. "I can't wait to get my bloody hands on him!"

"Sirius! Calm down!" Remus yelled as he stood up beside him. He glanced upstairs and was thankful to see that the door to Harry's room was closed. Hopefully the boys wouldn't hear any of this.

Sirius left his side and began pacing the living room, pulling at his hair in frustration and pulling deep breaths into his heaving chest. "I'm going to fucking kill him!"

"Sirius, be quiet! You don't know what you are saying… now, just calm down…" Remus said, using both of his hands to gesture in a "down" type motion, hoping to encourage Sirius to decrease the volume of his voice. He did not want Harry or Draco hearing any part of this conversation.

"I will not calm down! How can you expect me to remain calm when-"

Remus crossed the room quickly and grabbed Sirius's arm roughly with one hand and put his other hand over his friend's mouth. "SIRIUS! Shut up! Harry is going to hear you!"

Unfortunately, this action caused the opposite of what Remus wanted to happen. Sirius pushed him way angrily and then lashed out wildly, knocking over one of the dining room chairs in frustration. Sirius then turned around and kicked the fallen chair, knocking it into the others that still remained standing. The chairs had also bumped into the table, causing the vase in the center of it to topple over and crash to the floor. The once beautiful vase fractured in several large pieces.

"I don't care! I want Harry to know that I'm going to make that sick son of a bitch pay for ever touching him!" Sirius yelled. "I'm going to fucking kill Dursley!"

Sirius pulled out his wand from his sleeve and began stalking towards the cabin door. Seeing that his friend had only one thing in mind, Remus brandished his own wand and pointed it at his friend. "Sirius, stop! You're not thinking clearly. Killing Vernon Dursley isn't the answer. You'll only end back up in Azkaban!"

"I don't care! It would be worth it to slay that fat bastard!" Sirius screamed, throwing open the door.

Before he could go any further, Remus yelled "_ACCIO WAND!" _and neatly caught Sirius's wand in mid air. He put it up his opposite sleeve alongside, Harry's wand, which he had taken earlier, and secured them together with the wand strap that had been sewn inside.

"How dare you!" Sirius turned around quickly in the doorway, his face flushed with anger. "Give me my wand, Remus."

"No."

"Fine, I kill the arsehole with my bare hands!" Sirius replied, a mad glint now in his eyes. He turned around to leave, but was quickly caught with a stunning spell before he could take another step.

Remus watched as his friend collapsed where he stood in the door frame into an unconscious heap. He hated having to do that to his best mate, but he was left with no choice. He knew that all Sirius wanted to do was seek revenge for what had happened to his godson, but Remus couldn't allow Sirius to return to Azkaban after all he had suffered. And that was exactly where he would end up if he had succeeded in murdering Vernon Dursley; wherever he was.

He ran a shaky hand through his hair, which had fallen forward when Sirius pushed him away, in an attempt to push it back away from his face. But no matter what he did, it continued to fall forward. Remus was incredibly tired now, but he knew this night was far from being over. His body still ached from his recent transformation, and he was weary with worry over what had happened to Harry.

Not knowing what else to do, Remus carefully levitated his friend to a nearby chair and cast ropes to bind him to it. He then closed the door to the cabin and placed a chair in front of Sirius and sat down across from him. There was still so much more to say…

* * *

Draco lay behind Harry for a long while, listening to the sound of his steady breathing. At first his breaths had come in short little gasps as Harry quietly cried himself to sleep. But after a short while, his breath had evened out, and Draco knew that he had fallen asleep.

He was facing the back of Harry's head, and his nostrils were filled with the sweet smell of Harry's scent. There was nothing he wanted to do more than to reach out and stroke his dark hair right now, but his arms were occupied with holding Harry close. They were still wrapped tightly around Harry and were beginning to cramp because of the position he was lying in. Draco decided to just ignore the pain for the time being and concentrated on just being there for Harry. There was no telling what had occurred today or how this would affect Harry, but Draco was determined to be there for him no matter what.

Draco's heart had been pounding in his chest earlier when he had made his way upstairs. He had no idea what had occurred today, but he was furious with Harry's uncle nonetheless. It was all he could do to calm himself down enough to come in and care for Harry the way that he needed. By nature, Draco wasn't typically a "loving" person. He could be down right cold hearted and manipulative at times, that's what made him a Slytherin. But when it came to Harry, he couldn't help but let down all of his walls. Harry brought out the best in Draco from some inexplicable reason, even when he was surviving a nightmare himself.

Draco was still incredibly upset that something had happened to Harry again and he hadn't been there to protect him. What troubled him most was that whatever had happened, it had been so bad that Harry had felt the need to cut himself again after abstaining from the act for so long. He had almost lost Harry once… Draco didn't want to go through that again.

It nearly broke his heart, when he had found Harry curled up in the fetal position, looking quite sad and lost, his pale cheeks stained with tears. The haunted look in Harry's eyes spoke volumes. Draco had tried to keep his features neutral to hide how alarmed he was at seeing the fading bruises on his face and neck, but he wasn't sure if he had pulled it off very well. He couldn't see how badly Harry had cut himself because his sleeves were covering his forearms, but if last time was any indication of what had happened Draco feared the worst.

From the significant sized blood stain on the sisal rug beside the bed, Draco guessed that Harry must have used a blade of some sort. Although it looked as though the small teen hadn't lost an inordinate amount of blood, he was probably weakened nonetheless. He had also noticed when he came in the room, that the mirror above the dresser had been shattered somehow and that small bits of paper were scattered all over the floor. Harry's journal lay open beside one wall, facing down with its numerous pages folded haphazardly. Draco knew it probably would never again lie flat when closed.

Harry had refused to tell him what his uncle had said and done to him, and it pained him to see Harry trying to suffer through it alone. As much as he wanted to know about what happened today to his poor love, Draco knew that Harry was still very guarded about his feelings. It would take some time to get Harry to talk about it all, but Draco was confident that he would see them through this too.

Draco shifted his arms slightly, trying to get more comfortable, without waking Harry. In the end, he was left with no choice but to gently pull his arms out from under him. The cramping was just too great. It was a bit painful at first when the blood began rushing back to his limbs, but he quickly recovered and found he was much more comfortable cuddling up beside Harry. At least now he was able to sit up slightly and run his fingers through Harry's dark locks like he had wanted to earlier. Harry leaned into the touch while sleeping, sensing that he was safe in Draco's presence.

Draco smiled softly, but it quickly turned into a frown. From this position he could see the bruises more clearly, and it upset him greatly. Especially the handprint shaped bruised that encircled Harry's throat. Without realizing it, Draco had stopped stroking Harry's hair, and his boyfriend whimpered at the loss. He quickly began playing with a few dark strands again to calm him, but his attention didn't waver from the injuries Harry had on his face and neck. Draco was tempted to steal a look at Harry's forearms as well, but he felt that would be invasion of privacy somehow. Cutting seemed to be such a personal thing.

Draco slowly noticed that the voices downstairs, which had begun to get increasingly louder, had now turned into shouting. He couldn't hear what was being said down there, but he had a fair idea that Remus was telling Harry's godfather a good deal about his past. He noticed that Harry had winced and frowned a few times at the sound of the angry voices in his sleep. Worried that Harry would awaken from the noise, Draco quickly cast a silencing charm around the room.

Unfortunately, the bed had shifted when he cast the spell and Harry had awoken anyway. He rolled over uncertainly and looked up at Draco sleepily, his eyes unfocused because of his missing glasses. Draco quickly handed him his spectacles, which he had removed when Harry fell asleep, and Harry put them on.

"Hey," Draco said softly, smiling down at him.

"Hey," Harry replied.

It was getting darker now and the bedroom was filled with an ominous red glow of the setting sun. There was just enough light for Harry to see the features of his room. Sitting up slightly, he looked around the room uncertainly, his eyes glancing over the broken mirror and then at the bloodstained and paper littered floor. Harry seemed to be remembering all that had happened this afternoon. Draco was mentally kicking himself for not thinking of cleaning up some of the mess while Harry had been asleep.

"What is it?" he asked, when he saw the frown on Harry's face.

"I thought I heard someone yelling…" he said softly.

Draco had been expecting to hear him say that, and he didn't want to inform him that there was indeed some sort of shouting match taking place down below. Draco decided to shrug as if he didn't know what Harry was talking about.

They sat quietly side by side now, taking in the growing darkness. When it became too dark to see one another, Draco cast a _lumos _spell on the lights in the room until the glowed dimly.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. Draco wasn't sure how to ask Harry about what happened. Remus was so much better at these sorts of things.

"Fine," Harry stated in a flat tone. That was such a typical response for him.

Draco rolled his eyes and sighed deeply. Unable to resist the temptation any longer and seeing no harm in doing it, he leaned over and kissed Harry softly on the temple. He was startled when Harry began to pull away from him with such sadness in his eyes.

"Don't…" Harry whispered in despair. His emerald green eyes couldn't seem to meet his. He stared intently at the bedspread instead.

"Don't what? Kiss you… why?" asked Draco in confusion.

Harry merely shrugged and looked away, unwilling to say more.

"Harry, why can't I kiss you? You never had a problem with it before," Draco pressed.

Still he said nothing. "Harry, what is going on? Tell me!"

"Just leave me alone," he said miserably.

"No, I won't! Not tell me why I can't kiss you!" Draco demanded.

"Because… I'm t-tainted… just a filthy whore… you'd be better off without me…" Harry spat, his words laced with such pain and humiliation.

"That's not true! Where did you hear such a thing?" Draco asked. When Harry wouldn't respond, Draco gently grabbed his chin trying to get him to look at him. Harry tore his face away from Draco's grasp and looked the other way. He then wrapped his arms protectively around his waist, determined not to say anything more.

"Did your uncle tell you that!" Draco said exasperatedly. He couldn't contain his anger any longer.

"What does it matter?" Harry asked bitterly. "It's still true."

Draco felt his heart sink as he realized that all those months they had spent building up their relationship had been completely torn apart in one crushing blow made by a certain Vernon Dursley.

Determined to salvage their life together and to prove to Harry once and for all what he meant to him, "Harry, I love you more than anything… more than life itself… I don't know what that bastard said or did to you today… but that will never change how I feel about you…"

Harry continued to look away as if he hadn't heard a word he said, but Draco sensed that his message got through anyway.

"Harry what happened today?" he asked again.

"Why do you want to know? So you can pity me…" Harry asked, in a defeated tone.

"No, because I love you and I want to help you… and because Remus told me you cut again… whatever happened today must have been bad if you felt you had to cut… you haven't in so long…" Draco said truthfully.

Upon hearing this, Harry broke down in tears again. Sobbing he said, "I'm so sorry Draco… I-I know I said that I wouldn't anymore… but I-I couldn't help it… I tried to stop…"

Draco reached over and pulled him into a hug. Harry resisted again at first, but eventually began to cling onto him for dear life. His face was buried in Draco's chest as he continued to sob. "Shh… it's okay Harry…" Draco said, trying to soothe him.

"No it's not… I'm so w-weak… I'm supposed to be an adult and I can't even stand up to a Muggle… How am I supposed to defeat Voldemort?" Harry moaned.

Draco hated hearing him sounding so defeated. "Don't worry about that now, love. Besides you will always have me by your side. You'll never have to face anything alone…"

"I was alone today…" Harry muttered into his chest.

Draco's heart nearly broke once again, because what Harry had said was true. He hadn't been there when Harry needed him most. Apparently no one had. "Where was Sirius?" Draco asked suddenly, hoping that Harry would continue to open up to him.

"Off flirting with some girl…" he sniffled. "I should have known something was wrong. My dragon pendant grew warm a few times, but I just ignored it because I couldn't see the danger…"

"What happened next?" Draco asked, hugging him closer and resting his chin on top of Harry's head.

"I don't really know… Uncle Vernon just appeared out of nowhere… I-I don't know how he knew where I was…" Harry's voice was choked with emotion and sounded as if it took him a great deal of effort to even speak.

"What happened?" Draco repeated. He could feel his shirt becoming wet as Harry continued to cry into his chest, but he didn't care. He was actually getting his boyfriend to open up to him and that was what mattered.

Harry wiped away his tears and turned his head to the side, so that he could speak more clearly. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, seemingly trying to find the words to explain what had happened. It was as if he were having some sort of internal struggle about how much to say, but he finally began speaking again. "He w-wanted to know where I had been… he said I was in a lot of trouble because his business wasn't doing well and my aunt was upset with him. He said that I had I cursed them somehow. He thought… he thought I sent Remus to attack him- I tried to explain that it w-wasn't my fault, but he wouldn't l-listen," Harry added quickly.

"Did he hurt you?"

Harry nodded into his chest and another sob escaped from his chest. "He grabbed me and started shaking me back and forth… said I had to go back with him to fix everything… he tried to take me with him so I tried to call for help- Sirius had been gone for so long- but he hit me… and then he started choking me… I tried to fight him… I really did, but he was always too strong for me… I finally remembered my wand and stunned him…" his voice trailed off as he spoke so that it was barely above a whisper near the end.

"Then what happened," Draco asked, running his fingers through Harry's hair again to calm him.

"Sirius and the sales lady came out. They wanted to know what happened, but I couldn't tell him… I didn't want him to know what Vernon had said… so I ran away…" Harry said tearfully.

"What did that bastard say to you?" Draco asked, trying to hide the venom in his voice.

"It doesn't matter…"

"Of course it matters, Harry…" Draco said softly.

He sat back a bit and carefully lifted Harry's face from his chest with his hands. Draco tried to get Harry to look at him so he would know how serious he was, but Harry still refused to meet his gaze. Determined to show him how much Draco cared for him, he attempted to kiss away Harry's tears only to be shoved away.

"I said don't!" Harry said forcefully.

"Harry, what's wrong! Why can't I kiss you?" asked Draco, feeling really bewildered.

Harry wrapped his arms protectively around his chest and sat back. "I told you… you'd be better off without me…" Harry replied, breaking down again.

Draco tried to reach out to him, but Harry wouldn't embrace him. "How can you think that? Don't you know how much I love you!"

"How could you possibly love me?" Harry asked desperately. Draco could see from the look in his eyes that he needed to be reassured how much he was truly loved. The damage his uncle did to him today was just as significant as anything he had done in the past. He had shattered Harry's faith in himself.

"Harry, you know I love you. I probably always have, but I was too blind by my hatred and jealousy of you all those years to ever realize it. You have no idea how much I care for you-"

Harry's green eyes shone with humiliation, showing the absolute despair he was feeling right now. "I don't know how anyone could care for me! I'm a worthless freak… a filthy disgusting whore who let his uncle p-play with him…"

"Oh, Harry…." Draco said, crying openly now. "Are these the things your uncle told you?"

"He said… he said that I was his… that no one else could touch me…" he sobbed. "He wanted to know if I let Sirius play g-games with me like he did…"

"Oh god… I'm so sorry, Harry… none of that is true. You know that right?" Draco stared in his eyes searchingly, but couldn't tell if Harry believed it or not. "Your uncle was just saying those things to upset you. None of that is true…"

Harry was still crying now, his face screwed up with misery. Draco tried once more to reach out to him and found Harry was more willing now to be comforted. He was just too mentally and emotionally exhausted to fight him anymore. He pulled the smaller teen into his embrace and situated them so that Draco was leaning against the head board and Harry was curled up beside him, his head lying on his chest.

"Do you understand Harry? You are not a freak or a whore. It's not your fault that your uncle did all that stuff to you. You were just a kid. Do you understand?" Draco asked, his own tears sliding down his face.

Harry shrugged noncommittally, and Draco knew they had another long road ahead of them.

"Harry, I have to ask… did he touch you…" Draco hated asking, but he knew that it was necessary.

"No…" his love replied quickly. Draco sighed in relief, but he didn't feel much better.

"I love you Harry, and I know how awful today was, but we'll get through this together. I love you and I'm never going to leave your side."

Harry was crying again, but this time Draco was sure that it was because he was relieved that he wasn't going to abandon him for his uncle's crimes. He heard Harry softly say, "Thank you…" after a short while, and he knew they would be alright.

They lay there beside one another for a long while, enjoying each others presence. Both of them were wondering about what was happening down below, but neither found the courage or strength to admit what they were thinking. Only time would tell how that situation would be resolved. One thing was for sure, however, Draco would help Harry face that too.

* * *

Remus stared at Sirius's limp form in front of him, tied to the chair. He made one last attempt to push back the wayward strand of hair in front of his face and _enervated_ his friend.

Sirius blinked his eyes uncertainly and looked around the room and then down at the ropes binding him to the chair. "Remus, what the hell did you do that for!" His tone of voice made him sound like he was accusing Remus of pulling a nasty prank, instead of stunning him and tying him up.

"Because you were going off to do something impulsive without thinking things through… again!" Remus reprimanded him. As much as he wanted to join Sirius right now in ripping Vernon to shreds for hurting his cub, he knew that Harry needed them both now more than ever. He wouldn't risk jeopardizing Harry's safety if they were caught while seeking revenge.

"I don't care what you think! I want the man to pay for what he has done to Harry!" Sirius yelled, struggling against the ropes. "Let me go!"

"No!"

"Remus, let me go!" He yelled once more.

"No… not until you hear me out completely…"

Realizing that he was fighting a losing battle, Sirius took a deep breath and then hung his head. Remus hadn't expected him to give up so soon, but he was grateful that he did. He almost didn't hear what Sirius said next, it was whispered so softly.

"Moony, how did we allow this to happen? How did we not know?"

"I've asked myself that a thousand times, Sirius, and I have never found an answer that I'm comfortable with," he replied truthfully.

"I don't understand…"

Remus didn't know what he meant so he waited for him to continue.

"I don't understand how that bastard is walking around free! Why isn't he in Azkaban? Or some Muggle jail?" Sirius asked, finally lifting his head again.

"Harry refused to press charges…" Sirius began to protest so Remus raised a hand to stop him. "Before you say anything, we all tried to convince him to but he adamantly refused. He didn't want the whole wizarding world knowing what had happened to him if his uncle were put on trial…"

Sirius thought about that for a moment, and said, "It would have been a media frenzy…"

"Exactly. None of us was willing to put Harry through that, and with Fudge in the Ministry there is no way we could push it through without his knowing. He even has connections with the Muggle court systems. He would leak the story himself if it meant defacing the Boy-Who-Lived and helping his status somehow. And as you know now, the Order has reason to believe that Fudge is somehow covering up knowledge of Voldemort's whereabouts…"

"Yes, but… why didn't you do something about it, Remus? How could you find out what happened to Harry and not do anything about it?" Sirius practically hissed.

Remus slowly met his gaze and answered, "I did… and I was put on probation for it by the Wizengamot…"

"What?" he asked curiously.

Remus sighed and said, "When I found out what had happened, I broke into the house on Privet Drive and used a spell that I learned from Severus that made Vernon relive all the pain he had ever inflicted upon Harry. I guess I held the spell on him a little too long, and there was some question if he would ever be right in the head again…"

"You did that!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Yeah… and I would do it again, but I'm not willing to risk my custody of Harry. I almost didn't get guardianship of him because of that little impulsive act."

Sirius stared at him, wide eyed. "Way to go Moony, I'm proud of you…"

"Well, I'm not proud of it so shut up…"

There was silence again for a few moments as to the two men tried to figure out what to say or do next.

"Release me…" Sirius pleaded after a short while.

"I don't know…" Remus said cautiously.

"Please… I promise to behave…" he said in a patronizing tone.

"I will stun you again…"

"I know…" Sirius said softly.

Remus removed the ropes and stood up quickly when he saw Sirius rise from his seat. From the look in Sirius's eyes, Remus knew that this was for from over.

"I'll be taking my wand back too, thank you very much."

"No…"

"Remus, don't start. Give me my wand!" he shouted.

"Not until you promise me that you're not going to do anything rash."

"I can't do that… I have to make that bastard pay," he said almost too calmly.

"Sirius, think about you're saying. Harry thought you were dead for nearly a year! For Merlin's sake, he almost went crazy when he heard you calling to him from the beyond. He figured out a way to save you and have you in his life again, and you're going to throw it all away! Why?"

"I will always be a part of his life, but I just can't sit back and do nothing! Not after what you've told me happened to my godson! I have to do something!" Sirius shouted, going for the door again.

Remus was scrambling now trying to figure out a way to make Sirius stay. He didn't want to have to stun him again, seeing that he would have to do so repeatedly for as long as Sirius was hell bent on revenge, but he would do so if it was necessary. No… he needed to think of something else.

"Sirius! I'm not done!" Remus suddenly spat. "There is more to Harry's story! It's worse than you think…" He knew it was almost cruel now to tell Sirius the rest of the tale at this point, but he was left with no choice.

Sirius whirled around suddenly, and advanced upon Remus angrily until they were almost nose to nose. He knew that Sirius's anger with him was misplaced, but it was unnerving to say the least. "Yeah, right! What could possibly be worse? The bastard starved him, beat him, deprived him of any love, and then you tell me he was molested! I don't see how it could get any wor- " there was a sudden silence as realization dawned on Sirius's face

Remus looked at him sadly, almost regretting now that he even had to tell Sirius this last bit.

"No…no…." He said shaking his head back and forth. "No… not that too…"

There was a crazed look in Sirius's eyes and it was starting to scare Remus. He had seen Sirius look like that before, when he had first woken up in the hospital after he was rescued. Remus backed away from him like he was a wild animal, and found himself run into the back of the couch. "Sirius… you need to remain as calm as possible… I will stun you if I have to…" Remus said, holding his wand out in front of him protectively.

"Was he…" Sirius asked, a moment of clarity shining through his crazed appearance.

"Yes…his uncle… he raped Harry last summer… and almost strangled him to death after. That's when Harry finally ran away. He realized if he didn't get out of there, he would probably be dead soon," Remus revealed. It was until he raised his hand to rub at his tired eyes that he realized that he was crying openly. When had that started?

"No…" Sirius moaned. He finally let the tears fall that he had been holding back the last few minutes. He collapsed to his knees in the middle of the living room. Sensing his distress, Remus kneeled beside him, knowing that his friend needed comfort. This wasn't any easier on him either, and they needed each other's support right now.

"How could anyone do that to a child?" Sirius moaned. "What kind of monster does that to a child?"

"I don't know… I don't know…" Remus kept repeating.

Remus knew that Sirius was no longer in any state to go seeking revenge. He was too wrought with grief, and he couldn't help but feel secretly relieved. He was amazed at how quickly Sirius had transitioned between each of his emotions. Just moments ago he had questioned stunning his friend while Sirius was in a fit of rage, and now he seemed to be only consumed with sadness as he sat weeping on the floor. Remus found that he was crying right along with him, though he knew all of this from before.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Sirius made an attempt at composing himself. He stood up shakily and made his way over to the couch. He sat down heavily, as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He noticed the dagger again, which still lay on the table and picked it up, studying the drying blood on the sharp blade. Remus sat down beside him and watched him carefully, wondering what he was thinking. He didn't have to wait long.

"Remus…I still don't understand… how does any of this explain why Harry cut himself with the dagger…" Sirius asked, his voice still choked with emotion. He wiped away a few stray tears and sniffled loudly.

"It's a coping mechanism… " Remus replied matter-of-factly. "The pain he feels inside is so overwhelming that the only way Harry feels he can get relief is to cause himself physical pain. It masks what he is really feeling inside and lets him forget for just a brief moment all the shit that has happened to him…"

"Wouldn't there be scars? We went swimming. Why didn't I see any on him?" Sirius asked curiously, placing the dagger back on the table.

"Glamours… he didn't want you to know…"

Sirius nodded in understanding. "How often does he do this?"

"I think Harry used to cut himself much more frequently… we worked through some of his pain and he was able to stop, for a while. We had one really bad episode last year, and we almost lost him. It took a while to work through that, but Harry made it. He's stronger than he gives himself credit for. Today must have brought back all those old memories again… I guess he couldn't stop himself." Remus said sadly.

"How long has he been a cutter?"

Remus cocked his head to one side, thinking carefully. "I believe he said since his third year…I'm not sure how or why it got started though…"

Sirius was thoughtful for a few minutes, as if he were thinking carefully about something. Closing his eyes suddenly he finally whispered, "I do…"

"What?" asked Remus in shock. How could Sirius know any of that when he only just learned that Harry was a cutter?

Sirius's voice sounded very far away as he began to explain his theory. "It was that awful night you turned into werewolf and Wormtail got away…I had only known Harry a few minutes… but I asked him if he wanted to live with me. I was so surprised that he said that he did, a little too eagerly, I might add. I was a wanted criminal and I must've looked bloody awful then… he barely even knew me… but he wanted to come live with me anyway. I didn't question it at the time, but there had been such hope in his eyes. I was confused about why he wouldn't want to stay with his relatives, but I didn't think it was an issue. I was too happy to know that he had chosen me over them to wonder why. We were going to be a family… Only that isn't what happened. The Dementors nearly killed us… Harry used the time turner and rescued us, and Buckbeak and I escaped… and Harry was sent back to the Dursleys…" By now his voice had trailed off into a whisper.

"Sirius what are you saying?"

"You didn't see the look in his eyes while he watched Beaky and me fly away. There was such sadness… now I know why. Harry must have been so crushed when he realized that he had lost his chance at getting away from his uncle… I was so concerned about getting away that I didn't think to question Harry about his home life and why he was so eager to stay with me…I was selfish! I took away his hope… I was the reason he felt that he had to slice open his arms…" Sirius finished tearfully. He rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands.

Remus let out an exasperated sigh. The last thing Sirius needed was thinking that he somehow caused any of this. "Sirius, this is not your fault…"

"Yes it is. I should have taken Harry with me... even if we did have to stay on the run. At least he wouldn't have had to go back there…" he tried to reason.

"That wouldn't have been safe…"

"Oh and staying with those Muggles was?" Sirius asked hotly. Remus couldn't deny that he had a point.

Suddenly, Sirius gasped loudly and sat bolt upright. "What is it?" Remus asked.

"Limbo…"

"What?" asked Remus, confused by Sirius sudden change in thought. It was really disconcerting when he changed subjects so abruptly like that.

"Limbo… that's what Harry must have had to endure while he was in Limbo… no one should ever have to experience that… and certainly not a child who has already suffered so much… and then Harry thought he was going crazy because I was calling out to him, trying to get help… he saw my memories in his dreams…. what he must have gone through this year…" he moaned.

"Sirius, it's not like that was your fault. Harry's soul was sent to Limbo because of a spell that his soul mate, _Draco_, used to save him from the killing curse. It was only a coincidence that he made a connection with you there. It's not your fault that any of that happened," Remus tried to reassure him.

"Oh god…after my rescue, I woke up in the hospital… I didn't understand what was going on. I _attacked_ him… he must have been so afraid... thinking that I was like his uncle…"

Remus didn't want to say it, but he knew he had to. "I'm afraid that it's much worse than that… I'm not sure what Vernon said to Harry today, but whatever it was he thinks that you want to touch him like his uncle used to."

Sirius was flabbergasted. "What? I would never do that to him, or anyone else for that matter. How do you know he's worried about that?"

"Remember when he said upstairs, '_I don't want to play anymore games'_… well he meant the '_games'_ his uncle used to play with him…"

Sirius shook his head and buried his head in his hands again. "Oh god no… this is too much… too much, Remus…"

"I know Siri…"

"No, you don't. I'm not like you. I don't know how to handle any of this..." Sirius tried to explain. He rose from the couch and began pacing around the room.

Remus sighed tiredly and rose to his feet as well, knowing that he may have to stun his friend again if this situation got out of hand.

"I can't handle this…" Sirius kept muttering. "I just can't…"

"Sirius, it's okay. I know it's a lot to take in, but we can help Harry get through this…" Remus tried to reassure him.

Suddenly stopped in mid-stride and said, "I need a drink…" He stalked across the room and went to one of the kitchen cupboards where he had apparently hidden a bottle of whiskey. He pulled out the bottle and grabbed a glass from another cupboard. He then began screwing off the top.

"No… Sirius, you can't!" Remus tried to protest. He grabbed the glass he was going to use and tried to take the bottle as well.

"Shut up, Moony. I'm a grown man. I can have a drink if I want!" Sirius yelled.

"No you can't!" Remus shouted back. In one swift move he grabbed the bottle, unscrewed and stalked over to the sink where he began to pour the alcohol down the drain.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing that for!" Sirius shouted, pulling on his friend's arm, trying to save the whiskey.

"You can't drink around Harry…" Remus said, trying to refrain from yelling anymore. His head was starting to pound from all the stress and he really didn't feel like arguing with Sirius anymore.

"What? Why?"

"His uncle is an alcoholic… I believe whiskey is his drink of choice…" Remus said calmly, rubbing his temples trying to relieve the growing pressure in his head.

"Oh shit!"

"What?"

"Shit! Shit! Shit!"

"The night you transformed and Harry stayed with the Weasleys… I was home alone and needed a good drink. It had been so long… so I got some whiskey and settled in for a long night alone. Harry came back for something and I think I was drunk. I don't remember what we said, but I do remember Harry had this scared look in his eyes. I didn't understand it at the time…"

"What happened?" Remus asked almost fearfully.

Sirius sighed deeply. "Nothing really. He just flooed back to headquarters as fast as he could. What he must think of me…"

"Sirius, it'll be alright-"

"How can you say that? How will anything ever be alright again? For Merlin's sake, my godson thinks I'm an alcoholic and that I'm going to molest him!"

"Sirius, calm down! I don't think Harry really believes any of that, he's just scared after everything that has happened. You can show him that isn't true… you can be there for him when he needs you most… you can be the godfather that he's never really gotten to know… but you can't be that person if you're thrown in prison for a rash decision…"

Sirius nodded quietly, finally seeing Remus's point, and took a seat at one of the kitchen chairs. Remus followed suit and waited for his friend to make the next move.

"What are we going to do?" Sirius asked sadly.

"I don't exactly know… I guess we are going to have to handle Harry very delicately over the next few days. He's going to be moody and we have to understand that his mood swings are not directed at us. I need you to watch him and make sure that you don't see him with any knives, pins, needles, that sort of thing…"

"You think he'll cut again?"

"I'm not really sure, but anything is possible, especially after an episode like this. I'm going to start our sessions again as well, but you cannot be present for them unless Harry wants you to," Remus stressed.

"I understand…"

"It's really important that you try to treat him normally, too. He understands that we're watching him, but he will hate it if we start treating him like he's going to break at any moment. He really just wants to be treated like everyone else…"

Sirius nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Sirius? What happened to Dursley after Harry ran away?" he asked curiously.

"You know what… I don't know. He was still unconscious when I left. Two Ministry officials had showed up saying that they detected magical signature in a Muggle sector, and were sent to investigate. Tonks seemed to know them and said she would handle it while I searched for Harry. I think that they took Vernon into custody, and that they wanted to speak to Harry about what happened," said Sirius.

"You didn't tell me Vernon was taken into the custody of the Aurors!" Remus yelled.

"Well, we never got around to it... you were too worried about Harry to listen to anything I had to say earlier…"

"So they took Vernon to the Ministry?" Remus asked, growing frustrated.

"I don't know…" Sirius admitted. "Why? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, staring at him in disbelief. "If Vernon is at the Ministry, then Fudge will know something happened with Harry and call for an investigation. It will be all over the papers by morning!"

"Oh damn, you're right. I didn't think about any of that…"

"Well, you didn't exactly know the whole story before either," Remus said in his defense. "You said Tonks was still with them when you left?"

"Yeah."

"We need to contact Dumbledore and get a hold of Tonks as soon as possible. I'm hoping that she had enough sense to handle this situation discreetly."

Sirius was quiet for a moment. He looked at Remus for a moment and said, "Will Dursley ever pay for his crimes?"

"I don't know, Sirius. I don't know… If Harry was anyone else, this wouldn't be an issue, but being who he is… he just doesn't want everyone to know the extent of the abuse… hell, he didn't even want us to know…"

Sirius nodded sadly, and didn't say another word. Remus couldn't be sure what he was thinking, but part of him felt that Sirius was not going to let Dursley off that easy.

* * *

A/N: I have always wondered how much Sirius knew about Harry's home life in the canon, and after an email from my beta, who does a lot of research for me, I came to the conclusion that we really had no way of knowing. So I came up with the "conversation" that the Weasleys had with Dumbledore, Sirius, and Remus about Harry's home life the summer before his fifth year. It seemed to work well with the story. Hey, I've got to take a few liberties!

A/N2: Sirius had quite a mouth on him in this chapter, didn't he? What did you think of his characterization?


	11. No Rest for the Weary

**Chapter 11- No Rest for the Weary**

After such a heart wrenching conversation, neither man knew what to say, so Sirius and Remus both sat quietly at the kitchen table waiting for the other to make the next move. Studying his friend carefully, Remus noticed that Sirius had rope burns on his wrist and arms from his struggle to get free earlier. He hadn't meant to cause him any harm when he cast the ropes around him and felt badly that he had resorted to such measures. He also noticed that Sirius's face was drawn with sadness and that his eyes were red rimmed from crying. He imagined that his own face must look somewhat similar.

Remus's headache seemed to have increased tenfold and he was still emotionally reeling after everything he had just told Sirius. He rubbed at his temples and closed his eyes willing the pain away. He was just so… tired. He was physically drained after healing Harry and his emotional conversation with Sirius had really taken its toll on him.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked, noticing his friend's distress.

Remus looked up in surprise and saw the concern on his face. He had assumed that Sirius had been lost in his own thoughts after the long silence and wouldn't notice his pain.

The werewolf nodded ever so slightly. "Yeah, I'm fine… I'm going to make some tea…" Remus got up from the table and quickly magicked a pot of tea and poured the steaming liquid into two mugs. He added a shot of a pain relieving potion to one of the mugs from a vial he kept of it in the pantry of the kitchen to help alleviate his headache. He also added a shot of a healing potion to Sirius's mug to help with the superficial injuries he incurred when Remus had to restrain him.

He returned to his seat across from Sirius and handed him his own mug. "What's in this?" Sirius asked, realizing that his mug was filled with something more than just tea.

"A healing draught… for your arms…" Remus said quietly, carefully sipping the hot tea.

Sirius looked him at curiously and then down at his arms. His eyes widened in realization as he took in the raw skin. He must not have known he had been injured either. Sirius lightly fingered the tender skin before sipping his own tea. Neither man said another word for a few moments, each one processing the enormous amount of information that had been exchanged earlier.

Remus was itching to go up and check on the teen he thought of as his cub, but Sirius would inevitably follow and he wasn't sure if Harry would want such an encounter. Even if he was able to go check on him alone, Remus wasn't so sure Sirius could be trusted not to do anything rash in his absence. In his heart he knew that Draco was taking care of Harry and for now that had to be enough.

"Thank you…" Sirius said softly, breaking the silence that had persisted for nearly ten minutes.

"For what?" Remus asked, feeling some of the tension in his head beginning to dissipate as the tea worked its magic.

Sirius looked him in the eye and smiled softly. "For helping Harry through all of this… I just wanted to say thank you… it's nice knowing he had someone to take care of him while I was gone…"

Remus could only nod in response as he stared at the wood grain in the table, thinking about what his friend had said. On the surface is seemed like a show of gratitude, but he couldn't help but think that it meant something more. Was Sirius implying that now he was back that Remus wasn't needed any longer? Did he mean to take Harry away?

Remus may not have been officially named Harry's godfather by James and Lily, but he had always been under the impression that that was only because of the restrictive laws regarding werewolves and minors. Before the incident at the Department of Mysteries, he had never minded that Sirius had had a more important role in Harry's life. They were alike in many ways and naturally gravitated towards one another. But after Sirius's unfortunate departure, Remus was left to pick up the pieces… a job that he took very seriously.

He was Harry's legal guardian now and he would allow no one- including Sirius- to jeopardize his role in Harry's life. He loved that boy as much as if he were his own. Remus had made a home for Harry, a place where he could feel secure enough to be himself. Taking him from the only true home he had ever known could only do him harm, especially after everything Harry had been through. He needed the sense of comfort he had found staying in the cabin now more than ever.

Looking back at his best mate again, Remus could see Sirius staring at him strangely. Maybe he was making too much out of this… maybe what Remus was feeling was some of his own insecurities creeping back… and then again _maybe_ he had good reason to feel a little territorial… In any case, they would just have to work out a way that they could both be influential in Harry's life without stepping on each other's toes.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked again.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Remus replied. "I just have a lot on my mind."

Finishing his tea, Remus set to work doing a couple of things that needed to be taken care of immediately. First he located the still bloodied dagger from the coffee table in the living room. Gripping the intricately carved handle, he used a cleansing charm to rid the blade of the now dried blood and then locked it in a small chest along with Harry's wand. The wand would be returned to the teen when he had proven that he could restrain from causing himself harm for a sufficient amount of time. Harry probably wouldn't see the dagger again for a very long time. Ensuring that the chest was secured with several strong spells, Remus then locked it in one of the downstairs closets.

He then set about spelling all the drawers in the kitchen containing sharp objects. Sirius watched him curiously as he moved from each drawer and cupboard making sure he hadn't forgotten anything. "Do you really think Harry will try cutting again?" he asked, once he realized the cause of Remus's odd behavior.

"I don't know…" Remus said bluntly. "He was able to suppress the urges last time. I'm hoping with additional therapy he can get through this too…"

After checking to make sure that Harry was safe from anything specifically designed to cause harm, Remus made his way over to the fireplace. He was vaguely aware of Sirius following him. He threw in a handful of floo powder called out "_Order's Headquarters" _and stuck his head in. He was immediately overcome by a dizzying sensation, but he was soon able to see the kitchen of Number 12 Grimmauld Place and the five people within clearly. Dumbledore, Molly, Arthur, Snape, and Tonks were all seated around the large kitchen table, discussing something of importance. Thankfully, none of the Weasley children seemed to be present at the moment.

"Hello…" he called aloud.

The adults turned their heads towards the direction of the fireplace, each face etched with lines of worry. At the first sight of him, Tonks leapt from her seat and rushed towards him. Tripping on the hearth, she fell forward on her knees narrowly missing falling head first into the green flames where Remus's head now lay.

"Oh Remus, I'm so glad you fire called. We've all been so worried over here! We weren't sure if we should contact you yet. We hadn't heard from you but we saw Draco's note stating he was coming over to visit Harry, so we assumed he was with you after that terrible mess in London… is he alright?" Tonks asked breathlessly.

"He had some minor injuries, which I've been able to heal. Physically he's fine, but I'm more worried about him emotionally…" Remus admitted sadly.

The others came around the table and stood behind where Tonks was currently kneeled. "Remus, I must ask… did Harry-" Dumbledore began.

Remus knew what the headmaster was going to say and he gave him a stern look as if to say "_not now!"_ He was pretty sure that Arthur, Molly, and Tonks knew about Harry's self-mutilation after what happened last year, but he didn't want to explain everything if they didn't. "We can speak of that later…" Remus said firmly.

"Do you require Madam Pomfrey's assistance?" the old wizard persisted.

"No… I think he will be alright this time…" Remus responded, hoping that Dumbledore would catch onto his subtle hints and not ask anything further while so many were in the room. Dumbledore nodded in understanding, his pale blue eyes had all but lost the twinkle they normally had, but Remus didn't even care. He couldn't help but blame the headmaster for all of Harry's troubles. If Dumbledore had only thought to check on Harry all those years…

Tonks broke his thoughts as she began rambling anxiously. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect him, Remus… I was guarding the street looking for signs of Death Eaters while Harry and Sirius went inside… if I had known his uncle was near… I got distracted- this little girl thought that I was her grandmother because I was in disguise and all and- I never even saw him slip by… are you sure he is alright?… I've been so worried-"

"Tonks!" Remus shouted to stop her endless chatter. "Harry is going to be okay… alright? I won't say that I'm not disappointed in both you and Sirius for letting him go through this again… but I will say that you had no way of knowing what would occur today. Don't beat yourself up over this anymore than you already have…"

"Alright… it's just…" Tonks took a deep breath and Remus could see her wiping away some tears. "I didn't know what to think after Harry left like that… he looked so upset…"

"That poor boy…" Molly muttered and dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief. "After everything he has been through…"

"Remus, did Harry tell you what happened to him?" asked Arthur, who was standing beside his wife, an arm wrapped around her in a comforting gesture.

"Yes, somewhat…" Remus tried to explain. "I think that running into his uncle in London was probably just a coincidence, but it really shook him up though. Vernon Dursley said some awful things to him and apparently tried to take him back to Privet Drive. Harry had to stun him to get away. I'm assuming that it was his magical signature that alerted the Aurors."

"That's correct… Thomas Janowitz and Frank Templeton arrived on the scene almost immediately. They were surprised to find Sirius Black there and feared the worst had happened. Both Dursley and the store clerk had been stunned and they thought Sirius was responsible. With all the commotion they had almost forgotten that he was given a full pardon. I thought they were going to hex Sirius for sure," Tonks replied, now rubbing at her sore knees as she explained. "I got them to let me explain, but they still wanted to question Harry and take his uncle into custody…"

"Tell me that didn't happen! If Dursley was brought to the Ministry, Fudge will call for a full investigation. Harry can't handle all that right now!" Remus asked quickly, feeling a sense of panic rising in his chest.

"Remus, calm down so we can explain," said Arthur.

"Calm down? Of course I won't calm down! Do you have any idea what Harry's has been though? What he's still going through? Now tell me what happened with Harry's uncle!" Remus couldn't help but yell at all of them. Didn't they understand how critical this situation was?

The Order members looked at one another, seemingly trying to decide who would be the one to tell Remus what had happened. Molly's face was red from crying, and Snape's face was taught with quiet determination. No one seemed to want to tell him the truth.

"Somebody tell me something!" Remus could hear Sirius mumbling about something behind him in the cabin, but he couldn't make out what he was saying.

Dumbledore strode forward and glanced down at him. "Remus, Vernon Dursley is here at headquarters. He has not been taken into the custody of the Ministry."

"What?" That was the last thing he expected to hear. "Why is he there?"

Tonks sighed deeply and began to explain. "I didn't know what to do…I knew that the Order didn't want the Ministry investigating into Harry's past, so I did the only thing I could think of… I obliviated the Aurors so they would think that they stumbled upon a dispute between a muggle store clerk and a wizard and that it was all a false alarm. I also obliviated the store clerk to make her think she had just fainted. I didn't know what to do about Harry's uncle so I brought Dursley here. It didn't seem right just to let him go…"

"What is the Order going to do about him?" Remus asked curiously.

"That has yet to be decided…" Dumbledore replied calmly. "But at least now we don't have to worry about any interference from the Ministry."

"Will he be punished somehow?" he asked. Again, no one seemed to want to answer his questions.

Arthur finally responded, but looked away as he began to speak. "We can't do much without causing an uproar with the Muggles. We're still trying to determine the best course of action…"

"Don't tell me we're just going to let him go!"

"Nothing has been decided yet," said Molly in a tearful voice, who had been very quiet up until now.

Remus couldn't help but feel that Dursley was going to get off much too easily. He was beginning to feel like he was being kept in the dark somehow. "Why didn't you want to tell me that you had Dursley in your custody?" he asked.

No one said anything again in response so Snape sighed irritably and said, "Because no one wants to run the risk that you or the mutt is going to do something rash! We all know what happened last time…"

Remus found that he couldn't deny their sense of caution on this matter. All he wanted to do right now was go over to headquarters and kill Dursley for what he had done to Harry.

"I have to ask that neither you nor Sirius come to headquarters for the time being," said Dumbledore, speaking up once again. "And please do not tell Draco of Vernon's location just yet either."

"What? Why?"

"Neither one of you is capable of thinking rationally about this situation right now. The last thing we need is either one of you killing the bastard…" Snape muttered under his breath.

Remus was appalled that Snape seemed to know what he was thinking. "You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do in regards to Dursley! You just can't ban me from coming to headquarters."

"I'm sorry, Remus, but it is for the best," said Dumbledore sadly.

Remus could feel himself growing more and more agitated. It had been a very long day and he really didn't feel like listening to his so called friends tell him what he should and should not do. "Listen, I'm not just going to stand by while you all decide what you are going to do about Harry's uncle! I'm his guardian… I have every right to come over there and-"

"Remus, Harry needs you now… you almost lost custody for what you did to his uncle last time. Don't make the same mistake again," said Arthur. "From one parent to another… I understand what you must be feeling. But let us handle this…"

Those words struck a chord in Remus and he felt his heart swell at the thought that Arthur considered him to be a "parent."

"Alright," he said, almost reluctantly. "But keep me informed…"

"We will," said Arthur. "We won't do anything without your consent."

Remus nodded and pulled his head out of the green flames. The cabin came into focus again after a few dizzying seconds. He stood up and noticed that Sirius had already gone over to the kitchen table and sat down again. Remus approached him cautiously, knowing that Sirius had heard every word of the conversation while he was standing behind him, even if it was a bit muffled on this side of the fire call. He sat down across from him again and waited for Sirius to say something.

"Dursley is in my mother's house…" Sirius muttered.

"I know… at least he wasn't taken to the Ministry," Remus said, trying to find the positive.

"What are we going to do about it?" Sirius asked. His eyes suddenly filled with an intense hatred for the man that caused his godson harm.

Remus decided to play dumb. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean!" Sirius shouted. "We have the perfect opportunity to get revenge-"

"Don't even think about it!" Remus yelled, before Sirius could finish.

"Why the hell not?"

"Keep your voice down Sirius! I don't want Harry to hear you," Remus hissed. "You're not to go over there and cause any trouble. Besides, we've been banned from headquarters temporarily."

"You're going to let some ban stop you! It isn't like they've put up any wards to keep us out. It was probably just a verbal ban. You've always bent the rules just as much as me. Are you actually telling me that you wouldn't love to go over there and kill that son of a bitch for what he has done to Harry!" Sirius whispered back fiercely.

Remus growled in frustration. "It doesn't matter what I would or wouldn't like to do right now. I'm already on probation. I can't risk losing custody, alright? My only concern is Harry!"

"You don't think I'm concerned about him! Did you see the way he looked at me? I can't stand knowing that he thinks I'm going to hurt him. Dursley needs to pay!" he shouted. Sirius was trying desperately to make Remus understand. "Give me my wand!"

Remus shook his head furiously and discretely made sure both of their wands were neatly stored up his sleeve. "You're not going, Sirius. End of discussion. You'll only land yourself back in Azkaban!" the werewolf retorted, his anger rising by the minute.

"You can't tell me what to do, Remus!"

"Yes, I can. I'm Harry's guardian, and I'm not going to let you do anything that may jeopardize his recovery… including finding out his godfather has gone off the deep end, again!" Remus spat with his teeth clenched together menacingly.

"I see… that is how it's going to be, is it?" Sirius said in disgust. "You're his guardian now, so I don't have any say!"

Remus closed his eyes tiredly and firmly said, "Yes…"

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Hearing Harry's erratic breathing change to a more steady rhythm, Draco knew that his love had finally fallen asleep again. He waited for another few precious moments making sure that Harry was sleeping soundly. Glancing down at their hands, which had become entwined together on top of Harry's chest, Draco couldn't help but think of their future. The single emerald that adorned each of the silver bands on their ring fingers glinted in the dim light of the room.

Seeing the two bands next to each other like that reminded Draco just how important this young man in his arms was to him. Harry was his everything now, as odd and as confusing as that was at times. They had once been arch rivals and even bitter enemies, and now all he felt for Harry was love.

Harry truly had changed Draco's life for the better and he didn't ever want to look back at what he once was. Draco had found his soul mate and in his love for him he had found salvation. He never thought he would find an absolution to his problems, but with love of Harry and the guidance of his godfather and the Weasleys, Draco had changed in so many ways.

The rings were a symbol of their love for each other, and Draco had never been so happy than when he had given Harry the ring for his birthday yesterday. That seemed so long ago now.

Draco watched Harry sleep for a few moments longer before he carefully disentangled himself from Harry's limbs. He then gently got up from the bed so as not to disturb his broken angel. He hated to leave Harry alone like that, but there were some things that needed to be done and he was sure that Remus wouldn't be able to take care of it while he was dealing with Sirius.

Draco surveyed Harry's room and decided that it needed to be cleaned up a bit. The last thing they needed was for Harry to wake up and see the damage he had done and remember what had happened.

Taking his wand out, Draco set about repairing the dresser mirror, which had resembled a silvery spider-like web from the way it had cracked under Harry's raw power. Casting a repairing charm, Draco watched as the numerous shards of broken glass began to melt into one another slowly until the glass was whole once again. He then banished all the bits of paper on the floor to the waste basket and tried his best to flatten out Harry's journal. It was in rather bad shape after it had had several pages torn out and apparently flung against a wall. He was tempted to read through to see if Harry had written anything about him, but he knew better than to shatter Harry's trust like that. He set it on the night stand beside the bed and looked around to see what else he could do.

The only thing left to do was to take care of the blood stains on the rug and the t-shirt on the floor. He knew a simple cleansing spell wouldn't work, but he tried anyway. The large stains still remained, so he decided to shrink both the rug and the shirt, place them in his pocket, and dispose of them later. At least now, Harry wouldn't see a puddle of blood when he woke up and be reminded of how he had cut himself once again.

Draco then took a moment to look around the room to see if he had forgotten anything. Everything else appeared to be in order. There were several of Harry's birthday presents still stacked around his room, waiting to be put away, but otherwise the room appeared as normal as possible.

It was then that he noticed the long wooden box that had been hastily discarded by Harry's closet. Picking it up, Draco peeked inside and found the purple velvety folds of fabric that once held the ceremonial dagger Sirius had presented Harry on his birthday. Draco felt a well of anger building up inside of him over the supposed gift. Deep down he knew that his anger was misplaced, but somehow it didn't make things any easier. Sirius hadn't known about Harry's problem and it wasn't like he gave him the dagger for the intent of using it for self mutilation. And as Draco contemplated the matter further, he realized that his boyfriend probably would have found something else to harm himself with, even if he had never received the dagger.

Tucking the box under his arm, he turned back to look on Harry. Seeing his love sleeping peacefully, Draco decided to head downstairs to talk to Remus, knowing that he would be obviously still concerned about Harry.

Draco placed a chaste kiss on Harry's forehead before walking out of his room. He left the silencing spell that he had cast earlier just in case, but left the door slightly ajar. Draco had no idea how Sirius Black was going to react about him being here and there was no telling what Lupin had told him already. Their conversation could easily get out of hand and Draco didn't want Harry hearing any of what they needed to say.

He crept down the stairs slowly, hearing Lupin and Black talking about something with heated voices at the kitchen table. It was clear they were arguing about something. He didn't really want to interrupt their conversation so he waited quietly at the foot of the stairs, one hand resting on the railing, the other clutching the wooden box. They seemed to be so engrossed in their conversation that they didn't even know that he was there. From what Draco could understand, they seemed to be arguing about seeking revenge against Harry's uncle. Draco had no idea where the bastard was right now, but he hoped that he would finally get what he deserved.

He took a moment to observe the two friends closely. They were such polar opposites in so many ways that it was a wonder that they had ever become friends in the first place. Lupin was the introverted one, valuing knowledge, hard work, and determination. There was a quiet calmness about him that even Draco found reassuring. Black, on the other hand, was extroverted. He exuded his boisterous, and sometimes aggressive, personality with little effort.

One was light, the other was dark. One had the aura of being an "old soul," while the other radiated the youthfulness that he had only just regained.

The differences were almost staggering and yet they were also very much alike in so many ways. Both had been shunned by the Ministry, either as a dark creature or as a wanted criminal. Both enjoyed a little mischief now and then to keep their spirits up. Both had mourned for the loss of their friends and would stop at nothing to ensure that their deaths had not been in vain. Both had volunteered for a secret and dangerous organization designed to stop Lord Voldemort from reaching power. But most importantly, however, both had silently pledged to do everything they could to see that Harry was safe and happy. Too bad they were a little late on both accounts.

Draco finally stepped away from the stairs and headed towards the kitchen. When he reached one of the posts that supported the upper level of the house, he leaned against it and crossed his arms, waiting for Lupin and Black to notice him.

"No need to be quiet gentlemen. I've placed a silencing charm on Harry's room," Draco said, to announce his presence. Both men turned their heads toward his direction, startled to see him standing there.

"Draco… how is he?" Lupin asked, his eyes now shining with concern. It was amazing how quickly he could change his emotions from anger to concern when it came to Harry.

Black looked up at him curiously, but couldn't disguise his anger over the situation right now. He seemed torn between learning about what happened to Harry and arguing about what they would do about his uncle. "This conversation isn't finished, Remus!" he stated furiously.

Ignoring him, Lupin repeated his question. "How is he?"

"As good as can be expected after what happened…by the way, that was an awfully nice gift you gave your godson…" Draco said to Black with a sneer, as he laid the wooden box on the table in front of him. He still couldn't shake the anger that he was feeling, so he crossed his arms over his chest again.

That comment seemed to shut Black up and he stared at the box, guilt written all over his face. Draco found a small amount of satisfaction that he had made Sirius Black look that way.

"That isn't fair, Draco. Sirius didn't know that Harry was a cutter," Lupin chided.

"I don't really care…" Draco replied coldly.

Lupin sighed heavily, revealing how exhausted he was right now. "Is Harry still awake?"

"No, he's asleep just now… "

"I'm not surprised. He's had a long day. How was he feeling?"

"Well, he's an emotional wreck right now. It took forever to get him to go to sleep. Didn't even want me hold him or-" Draco began to explain, but then remembered the angry godfather sitting at the table beside Harry's guardian. He dropped his arms to his side realizing the slip he had made and looked to Lupin for guidance.

Sensing his apprehension, Lupin explained, "It's alright, he knows everything now."

"Everything?" Draco questioned.

"Yes, everything…"

"Harry won't like that…" He knew how hard Harry had worked this summer to keep the truth from Black. The fact that his godfather knew everything now was like throwing salt onto an open wound.

Black seemed to be studying him carefully, and Draco felt as if he was examining his very soul. "I deserve to know what happened to my godson…" Black said in a rather forceful tone. Neither Draco nor Lupin seemed to want to respond to that comment.

Draco was decidedly uncomfortable all of sudden and he wasn't sure how to react around these two men. He really didn't know either one of them well and Draco was at a loss how to handle everything. Before whenever he was presented with a difficult situation he could easily slip into his old persona, but being cold and aloof didn't seem appropriate just now and it wasn't really serving any purpose. All he was doing right now was driving a bigger wedge between him and Black. Harry wouldn't want that. He finally decided that he should be seeking Black's approval, not discouraging it. This was going to take all of his patience.

It was unfortunate that Draco and his cousin had never had an opportunity to know each other before. A combination of Black being in Azkaban and being disowned from the family before Draco was even born had ensured that they wouldn't have ever had crossed paths if it hadn't been for Harry. There were too many odds stacked against them for the two cousins to willingly come together under any other circumstances.

Draco sighed and ran a hand through his hair tiredly. He almost never wore his hair gelled back anymore after Harry told him how cute he was with his hair undone.

Sensing the growing tension in the room Draco tried to find a way to change the subject. "I cleaned up Harry's room as best I could…" he said as he walked over to the waste bin and threw out the miniaturized rug and shirt that he had confiscated from Harry's room.

"Thank you Draco, I appreciate that," Lupin said with a warm smile.

"He probably won't sleep very long. I thought I might come down and get something for him to eat for when he wakes up," he added. Hopefully Black would see how much he really cared for Harry.

"That's a nice idea, though I doubt he will want to eat anything just now," Lupin replied.

Draco nodded agreeably. "I know. He never eats when he's upset. But it doesn't hurt to try…"

"You're right," Lupin replied. "We need to encourage him as much as possible. I'll make some sandwiches and tea for you to take up to him…" The graying man got up from the table and set to work making the simple meal.

"Thanks," Draco said softly and sat down at the table to wait. He couldn't help but feel his cousin's eyes watching him carefully.

"Remus tells me that you and Harry have been dating a while now…" Black began.

"Since last summer," the blond replied nonchalantly.

"What are your intentions with him?" Black asked.

"What do you mean?" his voice cold and devoid of emotion. "_Remain calm," _Draco told himself. "_Don't let him get a rise out of you. He's only trying to get you going because he's upset about Harry. You used to do this all the time yourself."_

Black let out an exasperated sigh. "I mean are you playing games with him or do you truly care about him?"

"Sirius, leave him alone…" Lupin scolded him from where he stood by the counter.

Draco looked his cousin dead in the eye and said in a deadpanned voice, "I love Harry with all of my heart. I would willingly die for him if it meant I could spare him a moment's worth of pain. I will never leave him and I plan on spending the rest of my life with him… so if you have a problem with that-"

Lupin interrupted him quickly. "That's enough Draco. You don't have to explain yourself. Sirius is just a bit on edge." He set the plate of sandwiches and a mug of tea on a tray and set it on the table before him.

"Aren't we all…" Draco muttered.

"You love Harry with all you heart?" Black asked with bemusement. He seemed to be remembering all the problems Harry and Draco had with each other over the first five years together at Hogwarts. To say that they hated each other then would be an understatement.

Draco's pale eyes peered into his cousin's piercing gray ones and saw that he was sincere. He wasn't trying to be cruel; he was only trying to understand. "More than you will ever know… now if we're done with the declarations of love, I would like to try to bring Harry something to eat…" Draco said, standing up so that he could take the tray upstairs.

"Actually, if you don't mind… I would like to take him up the food. I haven't had a chance to speak with my godson yet about today," said Black, looking up at Lupin. Draco noted that he seemed to be asking Lupin for permission.

"That's fine. We can all go check on him together…" Lupin offered.

"No, I want to talk to Harry alone…" Black said firmly.

"I don't think that's a good idea. You might upset Harry…" Draco began, doing his best to protect the man that he loved.

"I'm not going to say anything to upset him-"

"You don't understand! It isn't anything you might say, it's the mere thought of being alone with you that might upset him!" Draco said exasperatedly. He really didn't want to spell it out to him.

"I hope you aren't implying that Harry is afraid of me!"

"Well, not exactly, but…"

Black looked like he was about to fly off the handle when Lupin reached out and put a gentle hand on his arm. "Sirius, you know why Draco might be concerned. It isn't anything you've done to him. It's that bastard that hurt him. He's made Harry question his relationship with you and that's not something that is going to be easily repaired."

Black glanced back and forth between Lupin and Draco searchingly. "I understand your concern, but I promise that I won't do anything to upset him. Harry has to understand that I would never hurt him and that he never needs to feel afraid around me. I need my godson to know that I love him and that nothing that has happened to him will change the way that I feel about him… and I can't do that with two mother hens hovering over us monitoring everything that I say…"

"I know that Sirius, but it's just…" Lupin tried to explain.

"Remus, I have to do this. I promise that I won't upset him," Black pleaded. "I'm his godfather. I have the right…"

"Fine, but let us check on Harry first and make sure he's okay with it. I won't push him into something if he isn't comfortable with it first," Lupin offered. "Besides, Harry may still need me to administer a healing salve." Draco nodded in agreement.

"Fine," said Black. From the tone of his voice he sounded quite disappointed, as if he expected Harry to choose Remus and Draco over him.

The three of them went back upstairs to check on Harry. Lupin stopped Black in the hallway and motioned to the blonde to go first. Draco decided to leave the silencing charm in place so that he and Harry would have a bit of privacy.

Draco entered the room apprehensively, carrying the tray of sandwiches. He was surprised to find Harry sitting up in his bed writing in his journal. His back was against the head board and his knees were drawn up so that they could write in his journal against his legs.

"Hey love," Draco said softly. "How are you doing?"

Harry's eyes snapped up at the sight of him and he smiled softly in relief. "I thought you had left…" he mumbled, setting his journal beneath his pillow for safekeeping.

"No, I just went downstairs for a bit to get you something to eat," he replied, setting the tray on the bed beside him before he sat down himself.

"I'm not hungry…" Harry replied, grimacing at the sight of food. He tended to get nauseous when he was upset.

"I knew you would say that. Maybe later then. How about some tea?" Draco offered, handing Harry the steaming cup that had been placed on the tray.

"Sure," Harry replied, taking the mug but making no motion to sip from it. He seemed content to sit there with his arms resting on his legs, holding the warm mug above his knees.

Draco couldn't help but notice the vivid bruises standing out against Harry's pale skin. He made a mental note to ask Lupin if there was a salve that Harry could put on to help lesson the coloration.

"How did you sleep?" Draco inquired, trying to find something he could say to him that wouldn't upset him.

"Alright, I guess. I didn't dream, so that's good…" Harry muttered.

Draco nodded in understanding. Harry hated dreaming. As far as Draco knew Harry had never dreamed normally. His nights were either filled with nightmares of his uncle or visions of Voldemort. And last year, when Harry was connected to his godfather in Limbo, he had confusing memory-like dreams that he knew could not be his own. Before Harry discovered what they meant, he had believed he was going insane. They drove him to cut himself so deeply that he almost died from the blood loss.

He watched as Harry finally took a hesitant sip of his tea and seemed to relax somewhat. Draco could only assume that Lupin made him his favorite herbal tea with a shot of a calming draught.

Sensing that Harry could probably stand to have a visitor while he was feeling so calm, Draco did what he knew he had to do. Taking one of Harry's hands he gave it a squeeze and said, "Listen… Sirius wants to come in and talk to you…"

"He does?" Harry asked; worry beginning to etch his face. "Why?"

"Because he's worried about you. He just wants to talk. Is that alright?" Draco asked, searching his eyes for some sign of apprehension.

Harry took a few deep breaths before responding. "I guess… will you stay with me?"

He tried not to frown at Harry's desperate plea but he couldn't prevent his facial muscles drawing downwards. He hated the frightened tone in Harry's voice. No he didn't hate that… he hated the man who had put it there. "I would, but he wants to talk to you alone," Draco replied.

"Oh..." Harry said softly, staring down into his mug of tea. "Are you leaving then?"

Draco nodded and said, "Yeah, I probably should check in at home. I kind of left in a hurry, and I'm not really sure anyone saw my note. Mrs. Weasley will be upset I missed dinner."

He didn't really want to leave him, but Black was insisting that he spoke to his godson alone and there was no telling how long their conversation would last. There was no sense sticking around, especially when he wasn't wanted. Plus Draco felt that he owed it to Ron and the Weasleys to tell them what happened to Harry today. They would be just as concerned about him as Draco was.

"Do you have to leave?" Harry asked, his voice small and pitiful.

Draco couldn't help but feel his heart go out to him. "Do you really want me to stay that much?" Draco asked, sensing that Harry was feeling really insecure with the idea of being left alone. Harry could only shrug.

"Listen… Sirius really wants to talk to you alone… I will come back tomorrow for a visit… but if for some reason you need me in the middle of the night, I'm only a fire call away… okay? Doesn't matter the reason why… if you need me, I'll be there…"

"Okay…" Harry replied, looking somewhat comforted by the notion that Draco would come to him at a moment's notice.

"I need you to make me a promise, though… that you won't cut again…."

Harry didn't answer, but did give him another silent shrug of his shoulder to indicate that he would try.

"Remember, you can always tell me anything. I wouldn't be upset," said Draco. "I love you…"

"I love you too, Dray…"

"Come here."

Draco pulled the smaller boy into his embrace, making sure that they didn't spill the hot tea. He kissed Harry on the forehead and then gently took his face in his hands and kissed him on the lips. This time Harry didn't pull away, and he even leaned into the kiss. It was then that Draco knew that they would be alright. It was enough to make him smile for the first time tonight. He gave the smaller boy's nose a quick nuzzle with his own and kissed him once more on the forehead.

"Everything is going to be okay," he said softly, pulling him close once more.

"I know…" Harry replied, studying his tea once again.

Draco reluctantly climbed out of the bed and smiled at his soul mate once more before he quietly left the room. He closed the door behind him and found Lupin and Black still waiting in the hallway.

"How's he doing?" Black asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Okay. He's awake and he's willing to talk to you," he said, speaking directly toB Black. "But if you do anything to upset him, you'll have to answer to me…"

Black nodded in amusement, and then rolled his eyes towards Lupin.

"Did he eat?" Lupin asked. Draco shook his head no.

"Alright… Sirius see if you can get him to eat at least something before he turns in for the night. I'm going to go prepare that healing salve. It will only take a short while. By the time I'm done you should have had enough time to talk to Harry. I don't want you badgering him all night…"

"Fine," Black replied.

"You know how to make healing salves?" Draco asked, somewhat impressed that his former professor was capable of brewing a potion and then reducing it into a slave. He had always been under the impression that he was only knowledgeable about DADA since that was the subject he taught while at Hogwarts.

Lupin nodded. "Before I could even use a wand, I learned at an early age how to brew healing potions and salves. Werewolves often have to treat their own wounds after a transformation, so the skill comes in handy. I also picked up a few things while I was learning to be a healing therapist."

"I see…" Draco replied. He still wasn't comfortable with the idea that Harry's guardian turned into a vicious creature once a month, but he couldn't fault the man for an unwanted and undeserved curse.

"Well, I suppose I should head home then…" Draco mumbled.

"Home?" Black asked questioningly. The look he was giving him was rather unnerving. He had already questioned Draco once before about calling Black Manor his home, and the blond didn't know what to make of the constant questioning. Was all that time in Limbo making the man forgetful or was he being purposely vindictive?

"Yes, back to the Order's headquarters… my home, at least temporarily…" Draco tried to explain. "Ron and the others will be worried about Harry."

Black nodded. "I almost forgot that you're staying with the Weasleys now… hmm…"

The way that he said it made Draco feel like his current living situation might some how be in jeopardy. After all, it was really Black's house he was staying in. They were cousins related by blood, but that didn't mean that there was any love lost between them.

Draco felt his heart drop into his stomach. He hated to be reminded that if it weren't for the kindness of the Weasleys he would have no place to go. Severus certainly couldn't take him, seeing that he never stayed in one place for very long now. He might not be in the Dark Lord's service any longer, but he was still a very skilled spy, capable of inquiring information in the least likely of places. He did floo to headquarters often to touch base with the Order and give Harry an Occlumency lesson when he could, but otherwise his time was spent elsewhere.

It hurt somewhat that Severus had very little time for him, but deep down Draco understood how invaluable he was to the cause of the Light. Draco couldn't wait for school to resume again, just so that he could see his godfather on a more regular basis.

Draco knew better to ever think that he would ever truly be accepted into the Weasley family, despite his own face on the family's grandfather clock, but there were times when he was with them that he wished he had been born with red hair instead of blond. Sure the Weasleys struggled to make ends meet, but their lives were so rich with love for each other and the laughter they shared each day that it made up for what they lacked. Draco could see how much richer their family was than his own. It took him long time to realize it, but he finally saw what was right before him; how little he truly had growing up.

Draco shook himself from his thoughts and said, "As I was saying… I guess I will be going now…"

Lupin reached out and placed a warm hand on his shoulder. "Thanks again, Draco, for helping Harry…"

Draco smiled at him and said, "No thanks needed. I love him… I would do anything for him. So if he needs me or wants me to come back in the middle of the night, please don't hesitate to fire call…"

"I'll do that, Draco. Thanks," Lupin replied.

Draco went down the steps with a heavy heart. He knew he was leaving Harry in good hands, but it didn't make things any easier. He tiredly walked towards the fireplace, grabbed a handful of powder from the flower pot, and flooed home.

* * *

Sirius watched as Malfoy slowly descended the stairs. The young man was something of an enigma to him. All he had heard from his godson for nearly three years was how awful the teen was to Harry and his friends. And yet even in light of that previous information, Sirius still couldn't deny the fact that Malfoy did appear to care for Harry deeply. Maybe Remus was right about his young cousin after all. 

At least now Sirius understood the strange closeness he had begun to perceive about the young couple. It was something about the way they looked at one another while they were dancing that had first raised Sirius suspicions. And then later on Sirius had known something was off when Harry had insisted on buying treats for Malfoy's familiar in the Magical Menagerie. Sure he bought treats for Crookshanks too, but somehow Sirius recognized that they were really meant for the Kneazle. He just knew there was more to their relationship than anyone was willing to tell him.

In some ways Sirius felt he should be grateful that Harry had someone to love, but he also couldn't help but think how much more difficult Harry's life was going to be because of his choice of life partners. The wizarding world, much like the Muggle one, didn't exactly support gay couples. And they certainly wouldn't like the fact that their so-called savior was dating the son of a Death Eater. If Sirius was honest with himself, he really didn't know what to make of the odd relationship either.

Turning back to Remus, Sirius watched as he tiredly cast "Finite Incantatum" over the door. "What are you doing?"

Remus looked at him and said, "Draco mentioned that he had cast a silencing charm earlier. I wanted to take it down so that if Harry has a nightmare later, I'll be able to know."

It probably meant nothing, but Sirius couldn't help but notice that Remus had used the words "_I'll be able to know"_ instead of "_We'll be able to know."_ Did he really think that he was so incapable of caring for Harry?

"Oh… so can _I_ go talk to him now…"

Remus sighed and looked like he wanted to tell him no, but then thought better of it. "Yes… just be careful… if you think something is wrong, just come get me. I'll be downstairs preparing the salve in the kitchen."

Sirius nodded, but then stopped for a moment to really take in Remus's appearance. His old friend had dark circles under his eyes and his overall appearance was quite haggard. "Are you sure you're alight? You seem really exhausted. Should you be making the salve when you're so tired?"

"I'm fine. No rest for the weary, right?" Remus lightly joked.

"I guess," Sirius said with a shrug, wondering what else he could possibly say.

"Good luck…" Remus finally said, patting his arm reassuringly before he descended the stairs.

Sirius took a deep breath knocked on the door to Harry's room. When he heard no response from within, he let himself inside. His godson was sitting up in bed, clutching a mug of tea to his chest and staring out the window. Harry didn't even register that he knew he was in the room.

"Hey kiddo," he said softly to announce his presence.

"Hey," replied Harry, still refusing to look at him.

"How are you doing?" he asked, not sure where to begin this conversation.

Harry was silent for a moment before he finally replied,"Okay, I guess…"

"You know you gave me quite a scare today running off like that. I didn't know what to think…"

Harry muttered something that sounded like, "Sorry," and continued to stare out the window.

"Don't be sorry. It's okay. I was just worried. I still am…" Sirius said softly, his voice trailing off at the end. "Can I sit with you a bit?"

"I guess," Harry whispered. He set his now empty mug on the night stand and then drew his legs up so he was sitting cross legged against the headboard. He seemed to be trying to get as far away as he possibly could from Sirius without it being conspicuous. Harry then crossed his arms protectively around his waist and slumped down a bit. Sirius couldn't help but feel the fear radiating off of his godson. It was clear just how uncomfortable he was making him.

Sirius sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at his godson carefully. Harry looked much better than when he had seem him before when he was beaten and covered in blood, but his current appearance was still a little unsettling. Harry's left eye was no longer swollen shut, but was still a deep purple and hand shaped bruises were still evident on the boy's neck despite Remus's earlier attempt at healing them. At least some of the swelling and dark coloration had been reduced somewhat. It was a good thing Remus was downstairs preparing the healing salve.

Still unsure of where to begin, Sirius asked, "Why did you run away from me like that today? I would have helped you…"

Harry sat there motionless, giving no notion that he had even heard what Sirius had said. When it looked as if his godson wasn't going to respond he said, "Harry? Tell me… I won't be upset…"

The small, dark haired teen seemed to be trying to think about what he wanted to say for several minutes. Sirius waited, somewhat impatiently, hoping that Harry wouldn't shut him out yet again.

"Harry… it's okay… you can tell me…"

His godson took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Finally he said, "I didn't want you to know… any of it… I didn't want you to know and now Remus has told you everything…"

"Why didn't you want me to know?" Sirius asked exasperatedly. "Did you think I didn't care?"

"I didn't want you to hate me…" Harry revealed, now looking intently at the duvet on the bed.

Sirius hated hearing the sadness in his voice. "I could never hate you Harry… how could you think that?"

Harry didn't respond to his question. Instead he looked down at his arms as they slowly slid apart over his waist until one of his hands was lightly grasping his wrist. The movement was almost undetectable as Harry used his thumb to trace in the inside of his arm back and forth. It took Sirius a moment to register what he was doing, but he soon realized that he was tracing one of his scars with his thumb. It must provide some sort of comfort for him.

"Harry why would you think I would hate you?" Sirius persisted. "Harry?"

Harry's green eyes finally looked up at him, shining with fresh tears. "I don't wanna say…." he said miserably.

"I know you don't kiddo… but I need to know…please tell me…" Sirius pleaded, straining to keep his voice as calm as possible.

"There's just too much that has happened… I didn't know what you would think of me? I thought you might hate me…"

"I know, you said that already Harry. Why?"

"Because I'm gay…because I let my uncle hurt me in so many ways… because I wasn't strong enough!" he exclaimed. He tore his eyes away again and let out a soft sob, trying to regain control of his emotions.

"I don't hate you Harry, and certainly not for any of that. I love you!" Sirius exclaimed.

He could see Harry's chin begin to tremble as he suppressed his emotions, so he reached out to stroke Harry's hair affectionately. Unfortunately, the sudden movement scared Harry and he flinched violently, ducking away from Sirius's hand.

"Harry, I would never hurt you… ever…" he said, lowering his hand. Sirius's own eyes filled with tears as he realized just how emotionally scarred his godson truly was. "I love you…"

Harry seemed surprised by his tears, and Sirius reasoned it probably was because he had never seen him cry before. "I'm sorry…" Harry whispered.

"I love you, kiddo, more than you know… you're like a son to me… the child I've always wanted…" Sirius began.

Harry began to cry openly, no longer able to suppress his tears any longer.

"If I had known what was happening to you I would have broken out of Azkaban sooner… I would have taken you away from there and kept you safe… but I didn't know Harry… oh gods, I'm so sorry… I didn't know…" Sirius said, his own tears streaming down his face. He hated the bastard for what he had done to Harry, and Sirius couldn't shake the idea of seeking revenge.

"I was too afraid to tell anyone…" Harry admitted, seemingly trying to ease Sirius's guilt for not rescuing him. "He said he would kill me if I did…"

"I know… come here…" Sirius said, motioning for Harry to come closer.

Harry looked hesitant at first, but finally crawled over and settled into his open embrace. Sirius wrapped his arms around his godson and held him tightly to his chest. It felt good to comfort him, even if it was in the worst of circumstances. _He was definitely going to pay for hurting his godson._

They held onto one another for a long while, rocking gently back and forth, as their tears finally began to dry.

"I'm not who you think I am… I'm not James…" Harry whispered into his chest.

"I know that, Harry. I never thought that. I'll admit that I'm surprised by everything I have learned about tonight, but that doesn't make me love you any less…we can get to know each other again…"

Harry nodded and sighed in relief. It was obviously a worry that he had been secretly harboring.

They finally pulled away from one another and he saw that Harry's face was incredibly sad and weary. Sirius desperately wanted to make him feel better again. "You know, you've gotten my clothes soaking wet," Sirius joked, glancing down at the shirt he was wearing. "I'm worried this might start to shrink…"

Harry chuckled and said, "Hey, I wasn't the only one crying here. Besides, I think you got snot on me." As if to illustrate his point, Harry gently tugged at a wet spot on his shoulder.

"A little mucus never hurt anyone," Sirius retorted. "In fact, I think I heard once that it was good luck."

"I thought getting bird droppings on you was good luck?"

"Oh… well that too," he said playfully.

Sirius was glad that he was able to make Harry smile again. "You know, you're going to be okay Harry… we're going to get you through this…."

"That's what Draco and Remus keep saying…" he said, looking back from Sirius.

"Well, it's true…" said Sirius. "As much as I would hate to agree with a Malfoy, it's true."

Harry laughed lightly. "He's not like that anymore…"

"I know… I'm just teasing. I know he cares for you…"

"More than you know," Harry said shyly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. As he did so the sleeve of his shirt fell to his elbow and faint white and pink scars became clearly visible.

Sirius felt his breath catch in his throat as he bore witness to the pain Harry had inflicted upon himself in order to deal with everything. He couldn't help but stare at the tell tale lines that marred the pale flesh. Harry noticed what had happened and quickly pushed his sleeve back down.

"Sorry about the dagger," Sirius said again finally. "I didn't know about…"

Harry promptly interrupted him and said, "That's okay. I know…" It appeared as if this was a topic Harry didn't want to talk with him about just yet.

Remus suddenly knocked on the open door so as not to startle them both. "Can I come in?" he asked gently. Both Sirius and Harry nodded and Remus stepped into the room.

Sirius felt a little irritated that he hadn't had more time alone with Harry, but knew that repairing their relationship was going to take more than just a single conversation.

"I have healing salve for your bruises, Harry. Can I put some on before you go to bed?" the werewolf asked.

Harry nodded somewhat reluctantly, looking very much like he was tired and wanted to be left alone.

Sirius stood up from his spot from the bed and went to ruffle Harry's hair affectionately before turning away. He saw his godson try to disguise it, but he had flinched again slightly when he reached out to touch him. He sighed tiredly, hating the fact that Harry was so jumpy around him. Sirius stepped back and watched as Remus sat down in front of Harry with a bowl of gooey salve.

Remus gently scooped a small amount onto his finger tips and then reached out to rub the salve onto the bruises on Harry's neck. Harry cringed slightly at the touch, though not as badly as when Sirius had touched him. Remus ignored the response and continued to rub the salve in thoroughly.

"It's warm…" Harry said absentmindedly, sounding as if he were trying to focus on something other than the hands touching his sensitive neck.

"I just made it so the salve really hasn't had time to cool completely," Remus replied.

Harry winced slightly in pain as Remus rubbed at a tender spot around his left eye. "I'm sorry… I'll try to be more careful…"

Sirius could see that Remus was trying to school his features so that he wouldn't look so distraught in front of Harry, but it was clear that his godson was being affected by the long look on Remus's face. Harry sniffled as his eyes began to well with tears again.

"I'm sorry… I just can't get myself in control of my emotions… I don't mean to be such a baby…"

"It's okay, Harry," Remus said lovingly. "It's been a long day." Setting aside the bowl of salve, he pulled the teen carefully into a hug and rubbed his back in a reassuringly manner. Sirius could hear Harry sniffle once more, but that was all. Remus had a calming affect on the young man, and when he finally pulled away, Harry appeared much more composed.

Sirius felt like he was intruding upon them somehow and stood there quietly for a few moments trying to assess what he wanted to do.

"Do you want to use your pensieve before you go to bed?" Remus asked, reaching beside the bed and picking up a medium sized wooden chest that must have held the pensieve he was speaking of. Sirius remembered from their conversation earlier that Harry used the pensieve to rid himself of painful memories so he could sleep at night.

"I don't know…" Harry said softly.

"Well, I'll set this here just in case," Remus replied, clearing a spot for the chest on the night stand. "Do you want to talk tomorrow?"

Seeing that neither one of them seemed to care that he was still in the room, Sirius slipped out quietly. Harry and Remus were so wrapped up in their conversation that they barely noticed he had left. He was a little sad that he could be so easily dismissed now that Remus was a more prominent figure in Harry's life, but that didn't really matter just now. All that mattered was seeking retribution.

Sirius was determined more now than ever, especially after seeing how distraught his godson was. He knew what he needed to do.

He was wandless, but that wasn't really an issue. He wouldn't be needing magic for what needed to be done. Filled with a sense of purpose, he quickly went down the stairs and over to the fireplace, where he grabbed some floo powder. Uttering his destination, he threw down the silver substance and was quickly was engulfed the green flames.

* * *

A/N: After an immense overhaul of this story's outline it looks like this fic will be closer to thirty chapters than my original goal of twenty. I hope that you are all as excited as I am. My muse kicked me into high gear today and my outline is now a whopping 20 pages long! After rereading the entire "_The Soul Mate Series,"_ I realized there were a lot of details that I wanted to revisit to make the story more consistent. There is going to be another ten chapters or so before Draco's role in this story takes over, much more than I had originally expected. When this occurs there will be a noticeable shift in the story's plot. You will see how both boys' stories come together in the end. 

A/N2: Before you ask… no, Draco doesn't know about Vernon being at headquarters and neither do the Weasley children. He didn't hear enough of Remus and Sirius's conversation to gather that tid bit. They will learn all about that soon enough.

A/N3: I'm only writing this note because I know someone will comment on it. In Draco's perspective, he referred to Sirius and Remus primarily as Black and Lupin. I have many reasons for this, but it was mainly because I felt it fit with his character better. He's not really ready to be on a first name basis with these men. Perhaps with Remus he might be, but since he was his professor last year he is used to calling him Lupin.

_**Many thanks to all my readers and reviewers! I know my updates are infrequent so thanks for sticking with me.**__** To everyone else who continues to read my stories… please review... you know you want to! **_


	12. Sweet Revenge

A/N: This chapter takes place just after Draco leaves the cabin in the last chapter. Yes, it's still the day after Harry's birthday... or rather the night after. Well, you know what I mean.

**Chapter 12- Sweet Revenge **

It had taken every ounce of will that Draco could muster to leave Harry that evening and return home. All he had wanted to do right now was curl up beside his love and calm the boy's fears, but with two overbearing adults in the house determined to check in on them, that would have certainly been an uncomfortable situation.

It was a small relief, however, that although he did have to leave his boyfriend that evening, he was leaving him in good hands. Remus was Harry's therapist after all.

The least Draco could do after Harry's ordeal was have the decency to explain to the others that loved him so much what had happened. He knew they would do the same for him if the tables had been turned.

Stepping out of the green flames of the fireplace, Draco found himself facing the familiar living room of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Although the gas lamps were brightly illuminated and the fire had returned to normal in the fireplace, the darkly painted walls of the miserably gloomy room made Draco feel even more dark and depressed than he was before. What was it about this god forsaken house that it still exuded a feeling despair despite all of the attempts Mrs. Weasley had made to make the place more cheery?

Draco sighed dejectedly and dragged his feet across the moldy carpet towards the old fashioned settee. The book he had been reading earlier was still face down on the arm of the couch where he had left it when he had received the summons to go to the cabin. He noticed that the note he had left was missing from the desk and imagined that the Weasleys knew of his absence by now.

He tiredly wondered where they all were as it was unusual to find the living room completely unoccupied, even at this late hour.

As if on cue, Jinx suddenly came running into the room and quickly made her way over to him. She jumped into his arms and began purring loudly. "_Mrrarow_…" she called to up him. If Draco didn't know better he would think she was chastising him for being gone all evening.

Not sure if he could gather the courage to say anything to the Weasleys just yet, he sat down on the couch thoughtfully, petting the little Kneazle in his arms. Lost in his brooding thoughts, he found a bit of comfort in the small, warm weight that had settled into his lap. He continued to stroke Jinx's soft fur and found that if he held his hand in place, Jinx would pet herself by rubbing up against his hand affectionately. He had only a few moments of peace until his thoughts were interrupted.

"Hey, you're back!" Ron exclaimed as he entered the room, a book in his hand. He had probably had come here to do some studying and had found Draco instead.

"Yeah…" Draco replied softly, still petting the Kneazle.

"We saw your note… why did Remus suddenly ask you to come to the cabin? Is this about Harry? I thought he was out with Sirius today shopping. Did something happen?" Ron began to ramble, his knuckles turning white as he gripped his book tightly in both hands. He had obviously been worriedly.

"Yes," he said, still staring down at Jinx.

"Yes, what?" asked Ron, sitting beside Draco now and setting his book aside.

"Yes, something happened," Draco replied softly, still not willing to meet Ron's anxious gaze.

"Well, what happened?"

Draco couldn't seem to find the words to tell Ron what was going on. It was just too hard. He knew he deserved to know, but Draco wasn't sure how much of it he should say. He didn't want to violate Harry's privacy by saying too much, but then again Ron of all people would understand how traumatic today was for Harry. He had been the first to discover the abuse last summer.

"Draco… I know it must be serious. Please tell me…" Ron begged.

"I don't know…" Draco said softly. He wasn't trying to be rude or evasive. He just didn't know how to tell Harry's best friend that he had broken his promise not to cut yet again.

Ron jumped up angrily and began pacing back and forth in front of the couch. "I'm so sick of this!" he shouted in frustration.

"Sick of what?" Draco asking, feeling completely bewildered. Ron's temper was legendary, but he still found it surprising just how quick to anger he really was at times.

"Sick and tired of everyone thinking that I wouldn't understand… or that I'm not old enough to know what is going on… I'm bloody seventeen!" Ron shouted. "I'm an adult and old enough to join the Order if I want to, godammit!"

Draco suddenly got the impression that there was more going on then him not telling Ron about Harry. "What are you on about?" Draco asked, eyeing him quizzically.

Ron stopped short in front of him. "Several members of the Order have been in and out of here all night. Something big is going on and nobody will tell me what it is. My parents, Dumbledore, Snape, and Tonks are in the kitchen right now discussing whatever they've hidden upstairs!" He gestured to the ceiling above with a pointed finger.

"Hidden?"

"Yeah, a couple of hours ago… just after you left actually… Ginny and I were sent to our rooms while they brought whatever they're hiding in… Dumbledore ordered us not to go to Sirius's old room under any circumstances until further notice," said Ron, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking thoroughly irritated. He began pacing back and forth again.

"What do you think they are hiding?" Draco asked, his brain slowly forming some sort of a revelation.

"I don't have a bloody clue!" Ron shouted. "And no one will tell me! I asked to be a part of the Order and I was told I couldn't join until I finished my seventh year!"

"Sorry… I was just curious…" Draco muttered, more to himself than to Ron, as he continued to pet Jinx.

"First I'm kept in the dark about whatever they're hiding and now I've got you refusing to tell me what is going on with my best friend!" Ron continued to shout.

Draco looked up at Ron, seeing for the first time how distressed he really was. "I'm not refusing to tell you, Weasley… it's just hard, okay?"

"Draco, what happened to Harry?" Ron asked again. His anger had deflated slightly, but he was still pretty upset. "I've been really worried that something had happened to him for you to leave like that… You've gotta tell me something! Please?"

Draco took a deep breath and decided that he couldn't beat around the bush anymore. He would just have to come out and say it. "Harry ran into Vernon Dursley today while he was shopping with Sirius in London."

"W-what?" Ron screeched, thoroughly mortified.

"I said-"

"I know what you said, I just can't believe it! What happened? Is Harry okay?"

Draco shook his head sadly. "No he's not… his uncle said some pretty crappy stuff to him and tried to force him to go back to Privet Drive. There was a struggle and Harry had to stun his uncle to get away…"

Ron opened and closed his mouth wordlessly as he tried to think of what to say next. Finally, he squeaked out. "But is he okay? I mean…"

"He's going to be okay. He had some bruises on his face and neck, but that was it. Nothing else _happened_." Draco stressed that last word, hoping that Ron would understand what he had meant. He felt that it was important for him to know that Harry wasn't sexually assaulted again on top of everything else.

Thankfully, Ron did understand. "Well that's good… I mean it's not good, but I'm glad that bastard didn't, well you know…"

"I know." After seeing Harry's reaction after what happened to today, Draco couldn't imagine what he would have done if his uncle had violated him again. It would have destroyed everything Harry had worked so hard at overcoming, and he was pretty sure that self mutilation could have quite possibly turned to suicide.

Ron sat down again next to Draco put his head in his hands thinking things over. His fingers clutched at the hair around his temples as he came to terms with what he had learned. Suddenly he shot up in his seat and looked Draco dead in the eye. "Harry didn't? Did he?"

Draco sighed and nodded. He didn't even have to ask to know what Ron meant. They had been through all of this together before. "Yes he did." He closed his eyes at the memory of the broken glass and the bloodstained rug. He hadn't actually seen Harry after he had cut up his arms because he had already been healed, but he could imagine how awful it must have been.

"Is he okay? It's not like last time is it?" Ron asked, his eyes filling with tears. It was obvious that he was remembering when he discovered Harry in the showers of their dormitory sixth months ago. It had been his quick thinking that made him follow his friend in the first place and then gotten Harry to the infirmary when he saw what he had done. Draco knew without a doubt that Ron had saved his friend's life that day.

"It wasn't as bad as last time… I don't think… Lupin had already healed Harry's arm when I saw him… he's going to be okay…" Draco reassured him. "But Harry is having a hard time with it all. You know how he gets…"

Jinx sensed that Ron needed a bit of comfort as well and jumped from Draco's lap into Ron's. When he didn't move to start petting her, she began to rub against his arms and chest until he got the idea. Reluctantly he began petting the Kneazle and seemed to relax a bit. Draco couldn't help but be awed by the little creature and her instinct to know just what people needed.

Ron sat quietly for a few moments thinking about it all. Finally he said, "Is that why Remus asked you to come over all of a sudden?"

Draco nodded. "Yes, partly. There was another reason as well." With the loss of Jinx from his lap he suddenly felt very vulnerable and uncomfortable. Having nothing else to do with his hands he began picking a stray thread from the cushion he was sitting on.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Lupin asked me to sit with Harry and make sure he was okay while he told Black everything that's happened in the last year. I guess he was really freaking out about it all," Draco explained, remembering the crazed look he saw in Sirius's eyes when he had first arrived.

"He told him everything?" Ron asked, apparently shocked. Draco nodded again "So the abuse… the cutting… you guys together… he knows it all now?"

"Apparently…"

"Whoa." Draco sneered at Ron's eloquent choice of words. "Well that must have been one hell of a conversation."

Draco laughed darkly. "You have no idea… I started hearing the shouting from upstairs in Harry's room and had to put up a silencing charm so that they wouldn't disturb him any further…"

"Poor Harry…" Ron muttered, staring down at the Kneazle still curled up in his lap.

"Yeah…" Draco replied softly. "But we'll get him through this…It won't be like last time…" Harry had kept a lot of secrets from them as he tried to deal with everything on his own. The abuse, reliving the horrors of his childhood in Limbo, and having all those strange dreams had certainly taken a toll on Harry last year. This time, everything was all out in the open, and Harry would hopefully be more inclined to talk about it with them.

"Yeah," Ron agreed, scratching Jinx behind the ears.

He and Ron still had their differences but when it came to Harry, there was an unspoken alliance. They would both stop at nothing to assure Harry's well being. Draco couldn't help but suddenly notice the similarities between them and Sirius and Remus's current situation.

After a few moments of silence, Draco decided to probe Ron a little more about what was being hidden in Sirius's old bedroom. "So what do you think they're hiding up there?"

Ron sighed in frustration. "I told you already that I don't know. I say it's probably some forbidden magic artifact that will help bring down You-Know-Who, but Ginny seems to think that it's a dark creature of some kind," Ron answered with a shrug.

Something in Draco's mind suddenly clicked into place. "Could it be a person?"

Ron thought about it for a moment. "I don't know. Maybe… you think it's a Death Eater?"

"I don't know…" Draco said slowly. For some reason he had a very bad feeling that he knew exactly who was up in that room. It was just too much of a coincidence that the same day Harry runs into his uncle, the Order has someone hidden in their headquarters.

"Well, if they do have someone up there then they've got to have silencing charms up or something… unless whoever is up there is stunned…" the red head continued.

Ron saw his sudden uneasiness and studied him closely. Draco looked away and stared at the opposite wall as he worked out what he was going to do next. He owed it to Harry to do at least something. He just couldn't sit idly by while the man who had systematically shattered Harry's innocence and trust could be upstairs. The bastard needed to pay for what he had done.

Draco stood up and reached for his wand, gathering his courage to go upstairs and hurt the man that had abused Harry for so long. He was almost sure now about who was hidden up there. His facial features slowly became more taut and rigid the more he thought about what Harry had been through. A look of cold disdain, which he had adopted and perfected long ago, once again set into his face. He knew what he had to do.

"What's going on?" asked Ron, eyeing Draco's raised wand. "What are you doing?"

Draco said nothing as he stared upwards towards the ceiling where he knew the captive would be. Intense hatred flooded his veins and he began to tremble with determination. He knew what he needed to do, but there was an obstacle in his way…the Order. They would most definitely do everything in their power to stop him from doing anything rash. He needed a plan.

Ron suddenly gasped aloud. "Do you think that it's Harry's uncle that's upstairs?"

"Probably… it's too much of a coincidence," he responded.

Ron leapt off the couch, sending a disgruntled Jinx running away indignantly. "What are you going to do?"

"What do you think?" Draco sneered. Actually he really didn't know what he was going to do to the hateful man, but he wouldn't tell Ron that. He figured he would know what to do once he got into that room. He didn't want to risk killing him and being sent to Azkaban, but how far was too far when you're dealing with a man as purely evil as Vernon Dursley?

"You can't! You'll get in trouble and Harry would be upset!" Ron reasoned.

"You mean to tell me that you don't want to do anything? You have the perfect opportunity to make that sadistic bastard pay for what he did to Harry and you are just going to stand by and do nothing?" he spat at the red head.

Draco must have struck a chord because Ron began sputtering at that last comment. "O-of course I want him to pay… b-but the Order… he's here for a reason. Maybe they thought of a way to punish him…"

Draco rounded on the taller boy quickly. "Listen here, Weasley. I was trying to be nice by telling you what happened to your friend because I thought you cared about him. Don't you dare stand here and try to tell me not to go through with this after all Harry has been through!"

"I do care about him… and I want to help…" Ron said determinedly.

"Fine!"

"Well, then what are we going to do?" he asked, when he saw that Draco hadn't moved a muscle.

"I'm not sure. It's not like I can just waltz upstairs and into that room. It's probably heavily warded and guarded as well. We'd probably be hexed before we even came within a foot of it," he explained.

"So now what?" Ron asked.

"I don't know… I'm thinking…"

* * *

Remus hadn't even noticed that Sirius had left the room he had been so concerned about taking care of Harry. Once the healing salve had been gently rubbed in, he asked Harry to change into a pair of pajamas and put him to bed. He then spelled the lights to dim and pulled the covers up to Harry's chin, tucking him in. 

As promised, Remus had stayed with Harry until he had fallen asleep again. He had tried to encourage him to eat one of the sandwiches Draco had brought up earlier, but they remained untouched. At least Harry had drunk the herbal tea he had laced with a calming draught.

Harry had been restless at first, tossing about in his bed trying to find a comfortable position. Seeing his discomfort, Remus had sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed the hair back on his forehead. Harry had flinched at first at the touch, but once he remembered who was sitting beside him, he inclined his head slightly towards him accepting the affection gratefully. Remus talked to Harry softly as he continued to stroke his dark hair. He mainly told Harry about the repairs he had been doing around the cabin that day for lack of anything else to talk about. It didn't matter what he said really. The calm, constant voice was reassuring to his cub as he drifted off to sleep. It helped to let him know that he wasn't alone and that life would go on again as usual.

As he watched the young man begin to fall asleep, Remus noticed that the vivid bruises that had marred Harry's face earlier were beginning to fade now with the help of the salve. Thankfully, by tomorrow they would be gone completely.

Remus waited until he saw the steady rise and fall of Harry's chest before he got up to leave. He did a quick survey around the room to make sure Draco hadn't forgotten anything in his attempt to clean up the "evidence" and found that he had done a superb job. He noticed that the pensieve again on the night stand beside Harry's bed and mentally thanked Dumbledore again for the thoughtful gift.

Being a therapist, he wasn't in the habit of allowing his patients to ignore their problems, but where Harry was concerned it was sometimes necessary to temporarily relieve his mind of all of his haunting memories just so that he could get some rest. The kid had simply been through too much over a short period of time and was struggling desperately to deal with it all. If putting his memories in a pensieve helped him sleep through the night, then Remus had no problem with it. He would help Harry sort through his feelings over this most recent incident during one of their sessions and go from there.

He wasn't sure if Harry would use his pensieve or not tonight, but Remus was glad that it was there if Harry needed it. The only problem was that Harry couldn't activate it on his own now that Remus had taken his wand. He had offered to help him to relieve his mind earlier, but Harry had refused. Remus just hoped that Harry would come to him if he needed him. The sight of the pensieve upon waking may very well be enough to encourage Harry to do just that.

Feeling assured that everything was in order, Remus left Harry's bedroom and entered the dimly lit hallway. He decided to leave the door open and cast an alarm charm on the room that would alert him if Harry needed him. It was actually a spell many mothers used with their newborn children, but it worked just as effectively in this scenario as well.

Remus didn't really want to leave Harry alone in his room tonight, especially not after how Harry had sliced his arms open, but it was more important that he build the boy's trust again. He needed Harry to know that things were going to be okay and they could trust one another to do what was right. Babying him wasn't what Harry wanted or needed. If something were to happen in the middle of the night that caused Harry to feel that he needed to cut himself again, Remus would be alerted by the spell immediately.

It was better that he gave Harry a little time alone. They would talk later once Harry was rested and had an opportunity to analyze his feelings in a healthy manner.

Remus tiredly wondered where Sirius was, but upon seeing his closed bedroom door he assumed that he had gone to bed as well. It didn't even occur to him that the bedroom door had been closed all day. He wasn't concerned about Sirius doing anything rash anymore either, because Dumbledore had strictly forbidden them from seeking any kind of revenge. Sirius held the headmaster in the highest regard and rarely went against his express wishes. They both trusted that the Order would do what they thought was best.

He had thought it odd for Sirius to leave like that without saying goodnight, but chalked it up to Sirius still trying to figure out how to deal with them now that he had returned from Limbo. Although Sirius had made a full recovery mentally, there were still many things he struggled to deal with.

Thinking back on it, Remus couldn't help but wonder if Sirius's sudden departure was because he was hurt that Remus had intruded on his conversation with Harry. In retrospect it may have looked like he was trying to take over the situation, but Remus had merely been trying to heal the boy. It was important that he administered the salve as soon as possible. He hadn't meant to kick Sirius out of the room, so to speak.

Whatever the case may be, it was clear that the two of them needed to sit down and talk about Harry in a civilized manner. He needed both of them in his life and they had to work out once and for all what their roles would be in that life. This petty bickering over custody and guardianship was only hurting Harry, not each other. A lot of their heated conversation had arisen from the fact that Sirius had been unwillingly kept in the dark for so long. He was obviously angry and hurt that he hadn't been told about it all sooner. Remus had tried to be patient with Sirius, but while dealing with Harry he feared that he let his distress over the situation get the better of him and said things he didn't really mean.

He loved Sirius like a brother and in his heart Remus knew that they would work it out somehow. They had been friends for too long not to come to some kind of understanding.

Thinking of Sirius, Remus realized that he still had his wand stowed up his sleeve. He thought about knocking on Sirius's door and returning it to him now, but figured it could probably wait until morning. He was probably already asleep.

"We'll talk tomorrow old friend," whispered Remus as he passed by Sirius's door, trailing his fingers long the wooden door frame.

Exhausted after such a long day, Remus decided to go to bed. Entering his own room, he sat down on the edge of his large bed, feeling heavy and weighed down. The headache he had earlier was back in full force. He was too tired from his conversation with Sirius that day to bother going back downstairs to retrieve some more of the headache potion he had taken before. He would sleep it off and hope tomorrow would be a better day.

After all, what else could possibly happen tonight?

* * *

Ginny suddenly entered the living room as Ron and Draco stood their silently trying to think of a plan. "Hey, what's going on?" she asked, noticing the two boys with their wands raised. 

"Shut up, Ginny, we're trying to think!" Ron scolded his little sister.

Ron's mind was still reeling from what he had heard from Draco, and with each passing minute he was growing more and more upset about what had happened. They did have the perfect opportunity to seek revenge on Harry's uncle for what he had done to their friend, and they were trying to figure out how to accomplish this task without running up there and alerting the entire Order.

"Sor-ry," Ginny said in disgust, as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I just wanted to know what was going on..." her voice trailed off and her eyes widened as she looked past Ron and Draco at the fireplace.

"What?" asked Ron, turning around to see what she was staring at.

As the green flames dissipated, the menacing form of Sirius Black appeared at the hearth. His face was set determinedly and his eyes shone with anger. He looked much like he did that night in the Shrieking Shack when he had dragged Ron up the stairs seeking revenge on his pet rat that turned out to be Wormtail. It was an intimidating sight to say the least. All three of them took a slight step back as Sirius stepped out of the fireplace.

"What are you doing here?" Draco boldly asked. "I thought you and Harry were having a talk!" Ron noticed that Draco seemed almost resentful and wondered if this "talk" was the reason Draco had returned here so soon.

"We were… we did…" Sirius spat, his teeth clenched tightly all the while.

"So why are you here?" Draco persisted.

"Why do you think?" Sirius asked him coldly. "Do you have _any_ idea who the Order is hiding in this very house?" Sirius's eyes looked almost wild. Ron noticed that they were red rimmed and tired like he had been crying.

"Vernon Dursley?" Ron asked carefully. Ginny looked over at him in surprise.

"Correct. Now tell me where he is!"

Ron didn't know how Sirius knew about Harry's uncle being here, but figured he must have gotten an owl or a fire call from the Order.

"Upstairs. In your old room," Ron said quietly. He was feeling a little apprehensive and somewhat afraid at telling Sirius this information. There was no telling what the unpredictable man would do. He felt his mouth go dry and he had to lick his lips in order say anything else. "But he's being guarded by an Order member."

Sirius nodded at this information and then said, "Give me your wand!"

"What? Why?" Ron asked, clutching his wand to his chest. He didn't like the idea of handing over his wand to anyone. He hadn't gotten a wand of his own until his third year and it was the most precious thing he owned.

Sirius didn't take too kindly to Ron's reaction. "Because Remus has liberated me from mine! Now hand it over!" he yelled in frustration.

"Here," said Draco, relinquishing his own wand, seeming to know what Sirius intended to do with it.

"Where's Dumbledore?" he asked.

"D-downstairs…" muttered Ron.

"Good… I'll deal with him later…Now out of my way," said Sirius, as he pushed past the three teenagers and into the hallway, holding Draco's wand in front of him.

Ron and Draco took one look at each other and realized that Sirius was going to do exactly what they had been discussing. This wasn't something they wanted to miss. They chased after him, determined to watch every detail.

"What's going on?" Ginny whined fearfully, as she followed close behind.

"Be quiet!" Ron and Draco shouted at her.

The long moth eaten curtains that covered the painting of Mrs. Black suddenly flew open, revealing a portrait of an old woman with yellowing skin. "TRAITOR! How dare you return to this house! Leave this instant!" She started screaming, her eyes rolling back into her head. "Traitor!"

"Shut up mother!" yelled Sirius as he cast a spell that silenced her immediately. The painting continued to scream her complaints, but no one could hear what she had to say; at least for the time being.

They climbed the stairs quickly and Sirius gave no indication that he knew or cared that he was being followed. When they reached the top step and crossed the hallway, they saw the door to Sirius's room that was being guarded.

"STUPEFY!" Sirius yelled and a bright red light shot out of his wand and hit Kingsley Shacklebolt in the chest before he could even raise his own wand. Ginny let out a small cry as his body hit the floor.

"Sorry about that Kingsley," said Sirius softly as he stepped over his body to examine the wards on the door.

"Well, that was easy," Ron muttered to Draco, who nodded in agreement, wishing they had thought of that.

The three of them watched closely as Sirius continued to examine the doors, using his wand to scan it thoroughly. He then smiled suddenly in realization and spoke an incantation in Latin that unlocked the door. Apparently Sirius had recognized the wards on the door from his own experience in the Order and knew how to disengage them.

The creaky door swung open revealing a very obese man tightly tied to a chair in the middle of the room. His large head was lolled to side and he appeared to be unconscious. Dursley's white shirt was stained with sweat and his appearance in general was rather disheveled. Ginny gasped audibly beside them and clasped a hand over her mouth recognizing then man for who he was.

Ron glanced at Draco quickly and saw that he was seething at the sight of the man who had hurt Harry repeatedly. He realized for the first time that Draco had probably never seen him before, and the shock of encountering the man who had hurt Harry so deeply was probably overwhelming. The blonde's jaw was tightened angrily and his hands were clenching and unclenching at his sides.

Before they even realized what had happened, Sirius had stepped into the room and slammed the door behind him.

"Wait!" Draco cried, running forward and pounding on the door. "Let me help you! I want to kill the son of a bitch for what he's done! Black… Sirius, open the door!" he screamed. He tried the handle several times and even tried to ram the door with his body in an attempt to make it budge, but it was no use.

Ron rushed forward and pushed Draco aside so that he could examine the door himself. "He's probably got another locking charm on it," he explained.

Ron tried every unlocking charm that they could think of but nothing worked. He had even tried the incantation that Sirius had spoken earlier. They stood there quietly for a few moments, wondering what was going on behind the closed door.

"I wish I knew what was happening," Ron said tiredly.

Draco nodded and pressed his ear to the door. "I can't hear anything!"

"There's probably a silencing charm on the room as well," Ron replied. He lifted his wand and said "_Finite Incantatum_!"

Amazingly, the silencing charm had been removed but the door remained locked. They could now hear signs of struggling and shouting inside.

"Get up you fat fuck!" they heard Sirius scream. "Face me like a man instead of the filthy pig that you are!"

There were some noises now that sounded like someone was being thrown into the furniture in the room. With each loud thud, the three teenagers flinched slightly.

"What's he doing to him?" Ginny asked her brother fearfully, tears in her eyes.

"What do you think?" Ron asked her in a condescending tone.

"But why?" she asked, a small tear strolling down her cheek. She had never really cared for violence before, especially not after her ordeal with Tom Riddle, and Sirius was probably scaring the daylights out of her right now

"Ginny, you know why…" Draco said softly. And it was true. Ginny may not know about the extent of the abuse or what had happened today, but she knew enough to know that Harry's uncle had been quite cruel to him over the years.

"But Sirius isn't going to kill him? Is he?" she asked.

Draco and Ron looked at one another and shrugged. At this point they really didn't care what Sirius did to Dursley as long as the bastard paid for what he did to Harry. Death would only be a small price to pay for his sins.

"He can't kill him! He'll be sent to Azkaban again! Don't you care?" she asked, crying more openly now.

"Maybe Ginny's right. Maybe we should stop him before it gets too far?" Ron asked Draco. The blond nodded but offered no indication on how they were going to do that.

"I'm going to go get help!" Ginny cried, jumping over Kingsley's body and running down the stairs as fast as she could. Being underage, she couldn't do magic herself to revive the Auror so she did the only thing that she could… get more adults.

"Let the Order sort this out…" said Draco leaning against the wall and crossing his arms tiredly. Since Sirius had taken his wand there wasn't a whole lot he could do either.

"I have to do something," Ron replied. He pointed his wand and Kingsley and said "ENERVATE!"

The tall black man sat up quickly as he regained consciousness and trained his wand on Ron and Draco, looking back and forth between then. "What the hell just happened?"

Draco merely shrugged as if he didn't know anything. It was clear to Ron that he wasn't going to be very forthcoming about this situation.

"Sirius is in there with Dursley," Ron offered. "He only stunned you so that you wouldn't get in his way."

The Auror cursed under his breath and began firing spells and uttering incantations looking for the one that would unlock the door.

Ron soon saw his parents, Snape, Tonks, and Dumbledore rushing up the stairs toward them.

"What is the meaning of this?" his father asked him. "Did you have something to do with this?"

Ron found that he couldn't reply and stared at the door that still remained locked. Dumbledore brushed Kingsley aside and held up both of his hands to the door. A faint blue glow emanated from his palms and the door finally swung open revealing the awful scene inside.

The room was in complete disarray now and the chair Harry's uncle had been sitting in was now on its side, broken into several pieces. Sirius was standing over a very bloody and bruised Vernon Dursley kicking him repeatedly. Snape and Ron's father quickly pushed inside the room and pulled Sirius off the large man. Sirius began thrashing about in their arms, screaming for them to let him go. When it appeared as if Sirius wasn't going to go with them willing, Snape pulled out his wand and stunned him. Sirius's body slumped in their arms as they dragged him into another bedroom and locked him inside.

Ron could only stare in horror at the bloody mess that was Harry's uncle. What had Sirius done?

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the cliffie. This chapter was much shorter than my others, but if I didn't end it there I feared that I would never get it posted. I still hope you all enjoyed it. 

A/N2: Okay, one more chapter to go to cover this fateful day and the story's timeline will begin progress normally once again. Sorry that it took seven chapters to tell one day of the summer, but I think I like how it all turned out. Don't worry this story isn't over yet! The encounter with Vernon was mainly a plot device to explore the characters interactions with one another before I throw them all for a loop again. There are another few twists along the way, but first we will see Harry begin to heal again. I think he deserves it.

**Thanks to everyone for all of the wonderful reviews!**


	13. After a Long Day

A/N: Apparently there was never an author alert sent for the last chapter, so if you missed it please go back and read it or the following will not make any sense. And yes, we are still on the day after Harry's birthday party (the same day as the shopping spree). Happy reading!

**Chapter 13- After a Long Day **

The long wait for some kind of answer as to whether or not Dursley would live or die was unbearable. It was very late at night, or rather very early in the morning, and Draco was dead tired.

Mrs. Weasley had ordered them all to bed, but the three of them couldn't possibly sleep with everything that was going on. Instead, they sat up with each other and waited.

Draco sat back against the cool wall of the dingy bedroom that he shared with Ron in Number 12 Grimmauld Place, ignoring the Weasley siblings across the room. Conversation wasn't important, especially at this time of night. No one seemed to know what to say anyway. Ron and Ginny were apparently in no mood for any kind of discussion at the moment after what they had just witnessed and that suited Draco just fine.

He was pent up on nervous energy after everything that had happened this evening and he couldn't seem to calm his nerves despite his exhaustion. He was trying desperately to relax so that he could think clearly about it all. But unfortunately, every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Vernon Dursley's bloody form behind them.

Draco wasn't exactly sure why he was still so fixated on that horrific image, but it was all he could think about at the moment. A couple of hours had passed since Harry's godfather has stormed into the Order's headquarters looking for the man that had caused his godson so much pain, but the image was still fresh in his memory. He had yet to decide whether or not he should be grateful for what Sirius had done or jealous that he hadn't gotten to the bastard first.

Draco had known what Sirius was up to the second the door had closed behind him, but never did he imagine what would be left in his wake. There had been a lot of blood, so much blood…

It had pooled around the obese man in a crimson puddle, from where he had been struck numerous times by some blunt object. Draco imagined that it might have been the chair that had been broken into several pieces. The sheer force of being hit repeatedly had caused the man's bulging skin to split under the immense pressure.

So much blood… it reminded Draco of the time he saw Harry in the infirmary when Ron found him cutting his arms in the showers. They had almost lost him then from the blood loss. In fact, for a short while Draco had thought they had. He even passed out when he heard Harry's heart had stopped momentarily thinking that he had died, only to discover later that Madam Pomfrey had been able to restart it again.

Harry had promised that he wouldn't cut again after they learned what happened to him last summer, but he had broken that promise. Not once, but twice. Tonight was the second time his loved had succumbed to the emotional pain and released his frustration through self mutilation. The second time that Draco could have possibly lost the man he loved more than life itself. Would Harry be able to keep his promise this time?

His heart ached painfully at the mere thought and his soul wept at the near loss of its mate tonight.

He just couldn't relax. Not with these morbid thoughts in his head. He closed his eyes again willing away the unpleasant thoughts.

Draco wasn't a violent person by nature, which is why he had always let Crabbe and Goyle do his dirty work back when he was still trying to emulate his father. It was part of the reason why he had refused to become a Death Eater. He couldn't stand the thought of hurting innocent people for the sake of cleansing the blood line. But there was a small part of him that wished he could have been the one to make Harry's uncle pay.

The silence was almost deafening as Draco waited for news on what had become of Harry's uncle and what would happen to Sirius. Silencing charms had been put up around the various rooms the Order was using to handle the delicate situation so that prying ears couldn't hear what was going on until the adults learned more about what had happened.

The only sound that Draco could hear was the occasional soft sigh from the other occupants in the room as they all quietly waited, dreading what they might hear when the news finally came. Boredom wasn't a problem; they all had too much on their minds.

"_What was taking so damn long?"_ he wondered to himself, as he brought his knees up to his chest.

On one hand, Draco just wanted the disgusting piece of filth to die so that his soul could be sent to hell for his innumerable sins. But Draco knew that the Order, in good conscience, could not let Dursley die even in light of their feelings for the man. They would do everything in their power to see that he lived or they would be no better than Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

On the other hand, Draco hoped that the Dursley didn't die for Harry's sake. There was no telling how Harry would react if his uncle did die as a result of being beaten to death by Sirius, despite all he had suffered at the man's hands. It was in his nature to feel guilty over any death that was directly or indirectly caused by some connection to him. He had already felt responsible for many of the deaths caused by the Dark Lord, and the vengeful death of Vernon Dursley would only increase the burden of guilt Harry carried on his shoulders.

Opening his eyes again, he peered over to Ron and Ginny who were sitting side by side on the bed opposite from him, also wide awake at this late hour.

"Do you think he's dead?" Draco finally asked. His voice sounded cold and emotionless in the still room. He was just too tired and overwrought with emotion from today to sound like he cared if the man lived or died.

"Don't know," Ron muttered. "I imagine that they would have told us by now if that had happened."

Madame Pomfrey had been called in to heal Vernon Dursley once the Order had discovered what Harry's godfather had done to him. Sirius had been stunned and locked up in his old bedroom while the Order decided what to do with him. Hours had gone by and they hadn't heard a word about either man.

The three of them should probably have gone to sleep by now it was so late, but who could possibly sleep during a time like this. No one had said a word about Harry since it all had happened, but they were each worried about how this was going to affect him.

"What do you suppose is going on in there?" Ginny asked, leaning against her brother tiredly. She looked like she might fall asleep at any minute.

"No idea… probably patching the bastard up," he Draco replied coldly.

"Well, it's a good thing that they are…" she replied. She tiredly rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, staring off with a dazed expression.

"What? How can you say that? Don't you think he should suffer?" Draco asked. His voice sounded unbearably loud to him after sitting for so long in utter quiet.

"Well no… Sirius had no business coming here and doing that-" she began.

Sitting up in his bed, Draco cut her off before she could even finish. "Are you mad? Do you have any idea what that arsehole did to Harry!"

Ginny looked quickly back and forth between Draco and her brother. "Well not really… no one's really said anything to me directly… but I imagine things were bad for Harry with the Dursleys-"

"You have no idea!" Draco shouted. He could feel the anger rising up inside of him. Ron eyed them both carefully, not really knowing what to say but looking like he wanted to defend the both of them.

Ginny was looking somewhat glassy eyed now as she tried to explain herself. "It's not like I don't want his uncle to pay for hurting Harry, it's just… well, he looked bloody awful… what if he died? Did you ever think about that?"

Draco was about to make another scathing comment back at her, when Ron cut him off. "Draco, she's right… Sirius would be sent to Azkaban again and Harry wouldn't want that. Not after he just got him back."

"I suppose…" Draco relented, not really feeling up to a fight as he first thought. There was just no point to it now, especially since Ginny was only voicing what Draco had already considered.

"Sirius should have let the Order handle everything instead of barging in here like that," Ginny added. "Everything is really complicated now." Neither Ron nor Draco could argue that.

"You're starting to sound more and more like Hermione, Gin-Gin," Ron commented. "She's a bad influence on you. Always doing the sensible thing."

"Well you're the one dating her… speaking of which are you going to owl Hermione and let her know what's going on?" she asked.

"Yeah, but I wanted to wait until I knew all the details. I don't want her to worry needlessly," Ron explained.

They sat there another few moments listening to the silence once again, wondering what was happening in the other two bedrooms.

"How much longer are we going to have to wait?" Ron asked crossly, breaking the tension once more.

"I don't know, but I'd like to get my wand back…" Draco said softly, feeling slightly irritated with himself for ever handing it over in the first place.

As if on cue, there was a soft knock on the bedroom door. Ron uttered a quick reply and Mrs. Weasley stepped inside, followed closely by her husband. Both of them looked rather disheveled and bore traces of blood around the sleeves of their robes, hinting at the fact that they had assisted Madam Pomfrey in healing Harry's uncle.

"You're still awake I see…" she said softly, her voice sounded rather strained.

Ginny yawned and said, "We couldn't sleep."

Glancing up at Mrs. Weasley as she drew near, Draco noticed her rather haggard appearance. He couldn't remember ever seeing her look so tired or so sad before. The dimness of the room seemed to enhance the circles under her eyes and the wrinkles in her face. She seemed so much older to him now and more vulnerable somehow.

This troubled Draco for some reason; to see the woman he looked up to as a surrogate mother looking so forlorn. He wished he could reassure her in some small way. He didn't know why, but he wanted nothing more than to snuggle up in her warm embrace and forget that this awful day had ever happened. It was an idea that he had begun to fantasize about more and more as he reflected on his own childhood and the lack of intimacy he grew up with.

"Well, what's going on?" Ron quickly asked, staring at his parents expectantly.

Mrs. Weasley looked at her husband sadly before sitting down beside Draco on his bed. Mr. Weasley stood beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder for support.

"Well?" Ginny asked. "Is he even still alive?"

Her mother nodded at her but couldn't seem to say anything just yet, as if she were finding the strength to even speak about it all.

"Do want me to tell them…" Mr. Weasley asked his wife, squeezing her shoulder affectionately.

"No, I will…" Mrs. Weasley looked at each of them wearily and took a deep breath before she began. "Vernon Dursley was seriously injured by Sirius tonight, as you know… He had many deep cuts, which caused the large amount of blood loss. A blood replenishing potion has taken care of that though…There was also extensive bruising over his entire body and several broken bones, all of which have been healed. One of his ribs punctured his left lung, but Madam Pomfrey was able to heal the lung before there was any permanent damage. Fortunately there were no other severe injuries to the internal organs…" Mrs. Weasley quickly said all in one breath.

Draco, Ron, and Ginny stared at the Weasley parents in disbelief. They had each come to the conclusion that Dursley would somehow continue to suffer, but it appeared as if the Order had decided to patch him up completely.

"So that's it? You just made him good as new! I thought that he would at least be in some sort of pain for a while… he should suffer for what he did to Harry. How could you just fix him up like that after all he's done!" Ron shouted angrily.

His father took a deep breath and nodded at him in understanding. Draco watched as he walked across the room and sat beside his children and looked at Ron in the eyes. "We had to, Ron. You know that…. But he is not _good as new_… there were some… some _other_ injuries that we could not heal completely…"

"What do you mean?" Draco asked.

"Dursley is now blinded in his left eye… there was just too much damage and the eye is quite complicated… Poppy was only successful in making it appear normal…" Mr. Weasley replied.

"Big deal!" Ron shouted. "Somehow blindness in one eye doesn't justify what he did to Harry!"

"There is something else…" Ron's father explained, in a low voice. He paused for a moment, seeming to weigh his words before he spoke next. "There was also some damage to Dursley's groin from Sirius repeatedly kicking him. Poppy couldn't fully repair the injury… and there were some complications… he will never be able perform sexually again…"

Ginny looked uncomfortable upon hearing that bit of information and squirmed by her father's side, clearly embarrassed to hear her father speak of such things. She couldn't possibly understand how this bit of news could be met with any amount of satisfaction because as far as Draco knew, she didn't know about the rape or the molestation.

Ron and Draco, however, looked at one another knowingly. Silence hung in the air between as their eyes communicated what each other was feeling. There couldn't have been a more fitting punishment, other than death, for a man who had sexually abused his nephew from a very young age. Draco couldn't help but feel somewhat triumphant over this turn of events, and he raised his eyebrows at Ron in response. Ron nodded at him once to reply, his eyes shining with emotion.

Draco only tore his eyes away when he felt Mrs. Weasley grab his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. She seemed to know what he was thinking and was reassuring him that it was okay. She gave him a sad smile and then kissed him on the forehead. "It's okay Draco… I know…" was all she said.

He squeezed her hand back gratefully, knowing that she would not look down upon him for feeling ecstatic over the fact that Dursley would never be able to hurt Harry, or anyone else for that matter, sexually ever again. She understood what he was feeling, and right now that was all that mattered to him.

"So what happens to him now?" Ron asked.

His parents shared a knowing look and they both looked to their son sadly. Their lack of response spoke volumes about the decision the Order had made.

Ron glared at each of them, growing angry once more. Any happiness he felt over Dursley's plight had suddenly dissipated. "Don't tell me that we're just going to send Harry's uncle back home like nothing happened!"

"We don't have a choice Ron," Mrs. Weasley said sadly. "Harry being who he is… well, it would just get really messy…" Her eyes quickly filled with tears and it was clear that she was just as unhappy over this turn of events as they were. She blotted her eyes with a handkerchief from her pocket and dabbed at her nose.

"What do you mean you didn't have a choice? How can we not have a choice?" Ron shouted. "The bloody bastard should be locked in Azkaban!" He continued to lament his dissatisfaction over the whole situation furiously, cursing every one who was just going to stand by and do nothing.

Draco sighed loudly and stared at the ceiling resignedly. He had already gone over this whole scenario in his head a million times, and he knew beyond a doubt that not even the Order could make it work. There was simply no way to make Dursley pay without bringing unnecessary attention to Harry's past. Unfortunately, Ron was a little slower about these sorts of things and needed everything spelled out to him.

Mr. Weasley finally put up a hand to stop his son's tormented rage. "Ron…we have to let him go. The Order has spent hours tonight trying to figure out every possible scenario and there are just too many complications…"

"I can't believe you're going to let that fucking bastard go free!" he shouted. Ginny nodded in agreement and began to softly cry beside him.

"Ron!" Mrs. Weasley scolded him. "Language!"

"But he is a _bloody_ _bastard_, Mum, and I'm not going to just sit here and let you do nothing about it!" he screamed. His chest was heaving up and down in anxiety.

Mr. Weasley spoke next. "Ron, stop it now… I know it's hard to understand, but just try to listen… we cannot put Dursley in Azkaban without getting the Ministry of Magic involved. And if the Ministry is involved then the media will inevitably catch wind of what has happened to Harry… Fudge will want to administer Veritaserum to both Harry and his uncle to prove our allegations… Do you really want Harry to go through that?"

"Well… no…" Ron agreed. His anger quickly deflated and he seemed to calm down somewhat.

"The media would have a field day with this story and Harry would never be able to get past what has happened to him…you know what this would do to him… it might push him over the edge…" Mr. Weasley said.

Ron stared at his father sadly, realizing the truth in his words. "I know it would be wrong to just kill Dursley, because that would make us like the Death Eaters, but can't we lock him up somewhere else… so the Ministry wouldn't know about it?"

"We've thought of that already… but then we run the risk of Petunia Dursley going to the Muggle authorities when she discovers her husband is truly missing. There is no telling what she might reveal about our world if she wanted to get her husband back badly enough… she knows more than we give her credit for…"

"Hasn't she realized her husband is missing by now?" Ginny asked, sniffing slightly.

"Uh… no… we asked Shacklebolt to head over to Privet Drive and stun Petunia and Dudley Dursley temporarily so that they didn't report Vernon missing until we knew what we wanted to do with him," Mr. Weasley revealed.

"Can't we just obliviate their memories so that they don't even know that he is missing?" Ginny asked. "Then we can lock him up anywhere we wanted."

"Then we would have to alter every person's memory in their neighborhood who knows him, and the people he works with, and any of their friends, and his sister Marge, and…"

"Okay, I get it… you can't just erase a person from everyone's memory…" Ginny said irritably.

"What about trying to get Harry's uncle thrown in a Muggle Prison?" Ron suggested.

"Also too complicated… unless Dursley committed some other crime, we would have to try him on several accounts of child abuse, which would be hard to prove now… and we run the risk again of the Ministry and the rest of the wizarding world of finding out what has happened to him…" said Mr. Weasley.

"This sucks!" Ron said irritably.

"Yes it does," his father replied.

"When are you returning Dursley to his home?" Ginny asked suddenly. "I don't like that he's here…"

"Tomorrow…" said Mr. Weasley, giving his daughter a look of understanding. "But I do have one bit of good news. The Order has placed a restraining charm on Dursley so that he cannot come within a hundred yards of Harry ever again. That way we don't have to run the risk of Dursley trying to hurt or kidnap Harry again."

"What happens if he does try to come within a hundred yards?" asked Ron.

Mr. Weasley smiled at him. "I assure you; the restraining spell is quite painful and actually incapacitates the person completely until they move out of range once more."

"Good," said Ron, looking quite happy at the possibility.

Draco had been watching the entire exchange quietly, his mind thinking about how Harry would take all of this news and how they should tell him.

"Are you okay?" Mrs. Weasley asked him, giving his hand another squeeze.

"I guess so…" he said. "I'm just worried about Harry. I thought he might owl me or floo me to come back over tonight… I told him that he could…" He said quietly, revealing his unspoken thoughts to this motherly-figure. Sirius must not have talked to Harry for very long before coming here. Didn't Harry need him?

"He's probably just sleeping," she said softly to him.

Draco looked across the small bedroom to Mr. Weasley and asked, "What about Sirius? What will happen to him?"

"Nothing…"

"Really?" Draco asked, feeling very much relieved. He knew what it meant to Harry to have Sirius in his life again, even if their relationship had been strained these last couple of months. Seeing his godfather sent back to prison would destroy his spirit.

Mr. Weasley nodded. "No one has the heart to put him back in Azkaban and doing so would only warrant a Ministry investigation since he was cleared of all previous charges. And there is no point in sending him back to St. Mungo's since he clearly was in his right mind when he stormed headquarters. He knew exactly what he wanted to do and why. There's no question of his sanity. Albus, however, was not happy about his actions here tonight. He has suspended Sirius's membership in the Order for three months or until he can prove that he will not act out in vengeance or in such a violent manner."

"That sounds reasonable," said Ron, clearly happy over the news as well. "He hasn't really been active yet in the Order since his return, anyway."

"Yes, well, he is our friend and we understand his reasons for coming here tonight. I'm not so sure that I would have done anything differently if it were my own child that had been hurt…" Mr. Weasley revealed.

"Where is Dumbledore now?" asked Ginny.

"Speaking to Sirius," said her mother. "He's finally calmed himself down after we revived him. Dumbledore is going to let Sirius go home tonight and explain to Remus and Harry what he's done."

The three teenagers nodded in response and then each began to yawn in turn. It appeared as if they were much more tired than they had expected.

"Well… I'm just going to check on everything and see if they need any help. If you have any further questions, please wait until the morning. It is quite late," said Mr. Weasley. He stood up and paused for a moment, looking at each of them in turn before finally leaving the room. It seemed as if he wanted to say something more, but was just too tired to do so.

"Okay, off to bed with you…" said Mrs. Weasley, in her motherly tone, rising from her position on the other bed.

"Um… Mum? Can I sleep in here tonight?" Ginny asked tentatively. "I don't want to be alone in my room with that man in the house."

She looked down at her daughter sadly. "Yes, of course, go change into your pajamas and I will transfigure a bed for you," her mother replied. "But know that your father and I would never let you come to harm."

Ginny nodded and quickly left the room to change into her night clothes. Mrs. Weasley then pointed her wand at a chair in the room and levitated it over between the two beds and transfigured it into a small cot. She then said goodnight to both Ron and Draco, stopping for a moment to place her hand softly on both of their cheeks, before finally leaving as well.

Ron and Draco wasted no time changing into their pajamas. Ginny returned rather quickly and dashed into her small bed, too embarrassed by her fears to look either boy in the eye. She lay down and curled up on the thin mattress and yawned tiredly. Draco lay down as well, but stared up at the ceiling restlessly. Ron had yet to go to bed.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to write to 'Mione before going to sleep," Ron said, stretching his arms over his head.

"Be my guest," Draco muttered.

Ron dimmed the lights so that only the candles on his side of the room remained lit. He pulled out a quill and parchment and quickly set to work writing to his girlfriend about what had transpired tonight.

Draco found that he still couldn't sleep despite his exhaustion and decided to head to the loo, leaving Ron and Ginny behind. When he got there he was shocked to see his pale reflection in the bathroom mirror. He looked horrible, with great big bags under his bloodshot eyes and his hair was looking rather unkempt. He no longer took pride in gelling it back, but he still felt that a certain amount of hair care was necessary to keep up appearances. He ran his fingers through his platinum hair, but found that it was no use. He still looked like crap. But it's not like it mattered anyway at this time of the night.

A huge lump, which had been slowly forming in his throat all evening, was threatening to begin howling in misery. His eyes were shining with emotion and Draco had to blink to keep the tears from falling. He hated himself for lettings his emotions get the better of him. He was usually much more composed than this. But he couldn't stop thinking about Harry and what his uncle had done to him… and that they couldn't even punish the bastard for his unspeakable crimes because the attention Harry would get would surely break him.

Draco was really upset about the injustice of it all, and he wished that he could take Harry away from all of this and keep him safe.

Sighing frustratingly, he turned on the tap and waited for the water to get warm. He then washed his face with the tepid water and found the warm comfort soothing. He sighed in relief. He continued to splash his face with water, enjoying the sensation until he calmed down. Feeling much more relaxed than he had all evening he dried his face with a towel he found in the bathroom.

Upon exiting the bathroom, however, he walked straight into the one person that could bring back all of his anxieties once again.

* * *

"Hey, watch where you're going!" a voice said irritably. 

Sirius looked down and saw Malfoy looking at him strangely, a sour expression on his face. "Sorry, didn't see you there…" he muttered, knowing full well that he wasn't at fault. "Actually, I was coming to look for you…"

Malfoy simply responded by raising an eyebrow inquiringly. He then crossed his arms over his chest and waited for a response.

Sirius wanted nothing more than to wipe that sneering look off his face, but figured he had caused enough violence for the evening. Besides, this boy obviously meant something to Harry, even if he couldn't understand.

Fingering the wand in his pocket he pulled it out slowly and then handed it over to the blonde. Recognizing it instantly, Malfoy swiped it out of his hands and clutched it tightly in his own. Sirius noticed that Malfoy was holding it in front of him in a defensive posture.

"Thanks," said Sirius, nodding to the wand.

He turned to walk away when Malfoy's voice stopped him. "I should be thanking you," he said. "You did what we have all wanted to do for a very long time."

"Something had to be done," Sirius replied, turning back to him.

Malfoy nodded and slowly lowered his wand, seeming to trust him a bit more now. "They're letting him go free."

"I know," he replied. "Dumbledore explained everything."

"Are you going to tell Harry?" Malfoy asked, taking a step forward, his pale eyes looking worried.

"I have to tell him something. He'll find out eventually," Sirius replied. "But not tonight. I'll wait until tomorrow, when he has gotten some rest."

Malfoy nodded again. Sirius noticed that he had let his guard down a little and seemed to be struggling to say something to him. Finally, after several moments of silence he said, "Tell Harry… tell Harry that I love him… and if he needs me I'll be there."

Sirius was a little startled by those words, seeing as he was still getting used to the idea of his godson and Malfoy in a relationship, but he nodded just he same. "I will."

Sirius turned away once again and headed towards the stairway. He wanted nothing more than to get out of this godforsaken house right now. There were too many bad memories here and Sirius had just added one more.

The Order had informed him of their decision to let Dursley go free and all of the reasons why. He hated what they had to do, but in the end he understood. It was what Remus had been trying to tell him all along. It had taken the better part of an hour to convince Dumbledore and the rest of the Order that he wasn't going to do anything else rash, but they had finally let him go. But not before they warned him about ever seeking out Vernon Dursley again. It wasn't likely that they would be so generous at looking the other way again.

Madam Pomfrey had also generously treated the wounds he had incurred while beating Dursley to death. He didn't know why he chose to use his hands instead of the wand he had borrowed, but somehow nearly tearing a man limb from limb with his bare hands was much more satisfying than any magic he could have used. It was like giving the bastard a taste of his own medicine.

Sirius was completely drained after that agonizingly long conversation and all he wanted to do was go home, having no energy left to speak to anyone else.

He descended the stairs to the first floor and saw a dark shape sitting on the bottom most step. He was in no mood for any other discussions, but it looked as if he wasn't going to be able to get by unless he passed whoever was sitting down below. He was just going to have to grin and bear it if he ever wanted to get out of this house.

When he had reached the base of the stairway Sirius discovered that it was Tonks waiting for him. She seemed lost in her own little world and didn't even realize someone was coming down the stairs, despite how they groaned under his weight all the way down. It wasn't until he was standing beside her that she felt his presence. She stood up quickly and tried to compose herself. She opened her mouth to speak to him, but he quickly covered it with his hand.

Her eyes looked up at him searching, and he pointed towards the moth-eaten purple drapes that covered his mother's portrait. The last thing they needed was to wake up the whole house at this ungodly hour with his mother's incessant shrieking. Tonks nodded in understanding and followed him to the drawing room.

Once they were inside, Sirius noticed that for the first time that he could ever remember, Tonks had not used her metamorphmagus abilities to change her features. The young woman standing before him bore no trace of twinkling purple eyes or bright bubble gum pink hair. She stood before him as who she truly was with soft brown hair that gently curled at the ends and somber brown eyes.

Sirius knew that she had waited for him for a reason so he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her sternly. He was in no mood for conversation and he would really rather be on his way.

"Sirius…" Tonks said, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm so sorry… I know I let you down today… I didn't know that would happen to Harry… I-"

"Stop, just stop…"

"But I need you to know how sorry-" she tried again.

"I don't want to hear it!" he shouted angrily.

Tonks burst out crying now, thinking he was blaming her. She began to sob as she brought her hands up to cover her face. She was shaking now uncontrollably and Sirius could feel some of his resolve waning. Sighing deeply he pulled his cousin into his arms and said, "I didn't mean to yell at you. I just don't want apologies from you. It wasn't your fault."

"But-" she sobbed pitifully.

"No buts, it was my fault Harry was ever hurt by that sadistic bastard…" he said.

"Sirius, you didn't know…"

"I'm not talking about just today. If I had never gone after Peter the night James and Lily were killed, if I had escaped Azkaban sooner and got Harry out of there, if I took him with me after I met him in his third year… maybe none of this would have happened." Sirius had never felt so guilty in his life. In fact the pain he was feeling inside was so heavy he thought he might choke on it.

"You mustn't think like that… it's not your fault. It was Dursley!" Tonks protested, pulling away and wiping her tears.

"Yeah well, there's that too," he replied.

Tonks stared up at him wanting to say more, but couldn't seem to get it out.

"Listen, it's late… I want to get out of here and get back to Harry so if you don't mind…" he walked past Tonks and was about to head towards the fireplace in the living room when he heard his name being called again.

"Sirius?" Tonks called after him.

"Yes?" he replied tiredly, turning around to look at her questioning.

"I don't know if now is the time to tell you this… it seems so stupid to tell you now…"

"What?" he said irritably.

"Well, it's just… I didn't know what to do with all the shopping that was left behind in London so I brought it here. I took the liberty of retrieving the things we left with Tom at the Leaky Cauldron as well. The bags are downstairs on the table in the kitchen…" she said, looking quite embarrassed that she troubled him with something so trivial.

He stared at her incredulously for a moment wondering how she had the audacity to mention the shopping spree after what he had done to Harry's uncle this evening. But the longer he stared at her the more he realized that his little cousin meant well. She didn't intend for Harry to get hurt today and she was only trying to be helpful in her own way.

"Thanks," he said curtly. "I just go get them and be on my way."

Tonks nodded at him, seeming to understand the reason for his foul mood at the present. "I'm really sorry Sirius…" she said once more as he walked past her out of the room.

Sirius was just too tired to respond. He headed towards the stairs that led to the kitchen and took the stone steps two at a time hoping to grab the bags and leave as soon as possible. Unfortunately, fate seemed to be playing a series of cruel jokes on him today.

There was only one other person present in the basement kitchen when he finally pushed through the doorway. And it just had to be the man that Sirius loathed above all others. Snape.

Neither man had spoken to one another since the incident at the Department of Mysteries, little over a year ago. They had only communicated with each other in the past when it was necessary for the Order. Otherwise they completely ignored each other if it was at all possible. Their nonexistent relationship was still tense to say the least, and neither man was willing to let go of their petty rivalries left over from their school days at Hogwarts. They hadn't even seen each other since Sirius's return, which suited both men just fine.

The foul creature of a man was sitting in the corner of the kitchen in a high backed chair sipping a cup of tea, staring at him with a bemused expression. "Did you have fun tonight?" he asked, his voice cold and calculating as he rose to meet Sirius in the center of the room.

"Leave me alone _Snivellus_… I'm in no mood…" Sirius growled, eyeing the fireplace and desperately wanting to leave that very moment. He didn't care at this point if he left the stupid bags of shopping behind.

Snape crossed his arms over his chest and sneered at him menacingly as he moved to step in front of Sirius. "Nor am I, but I would like a word nonetheless you stupid mutt…"

"What could you possibly want?" he said growing more and more irritated with each passing second. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared back at Snape intently.

"Draco's wand…"

Sirius sighed in frustration. "I've already returned it to him if you must know," he said, turning to grab the bags from the table.

"Fine. Then may I ask why you took the liberty of taking Draco's wand instead of using your own?"

"That is not of your concern…" Sirius said coldly turning back around and unwilling to admit that Remus had taken it from him in an attempt to prevent what ended up happening here tonight.

"It is my concern where my godson is involved," said Snape narrowing his eyes.

"Godson? Draco Malfoy is your godson?"

"Yes."

"Figures," Sirius replied, rolling his eyes. "I should have known that the King of Darkness would be the godfather of the Prince of Slytherin. You snakes always did stick together…"

"As do you mutts," Snape retorted.

Sirius quickly grabbed the numerous bags and slid all of the handles over one of his arms so that his other hand would be free to grab the floo powder. The strain on his arm from the added weight was uncomfortable and the handles bit into his skin. He would give anything right now to have his wand back so he could shrink the damn things and there was no way in hell that he was going to ask Snape for help. "Whatever…You've said your piece, I'd like to go now…"

He pushed past the infuriating man so he could grab a handful of floo powder from the flower pot by the fireplace.

"I just hope you realize what you have done and make amends before it is too late," Snape muttered softly as Sirius turned away.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" he asked, stepping into the fireplace.

Snape raised his eyebrows in amusement. "Oh nothing… my opinion never mattered much to you anyway…"

"Don't play mind games with me Snivellus… just tell what the hell you are talking about," Sirius shouted, his voice growing louder and louder.

"I don't think you've fully considered your actions here tonight," he said. "The consequences could cost you everything."

Sirius met Snape's eyes with a leveled gaze. He expected to see the hatred he was used to seeing in the man's obsidian eyes, but instead he was met with what looked like pity. The scathing remark he was going to say died on his lips and instead he said, "Albus is an understanding man. Both he and the Order realize why I had to make that man pay. I don't agree with what they are going to do with the stupid bastard now that they have brought him here, but at least I made sure that he would never forget what he did to Harry."

"But will Harry or the werewolf forget what you did to his uncle?" Snape asked knowingly.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Do they know you're here?"

"Well, no…"

"And did Lupin explain to you why you were both expressly forbidden to come to headquarters?" Snape asked.

"Well, yes, but-"

"So you broke his trust… and now you've broken Harry's…"

"What? What are you talking about?" Sirius said exasperatedly, gesturing wildly around the room with one hand, like the answers to Snape's mysterious riddles might appear out of thin air. As he did so the floo powder he had been clutching fell through his open fingers.

Snape snorted in amusement. "Come on Black… I know you're not that dense. Harry trusted you to be in his life again after bringing you back from a virtual hell. And yet you risk everything to serve your own vendetta. You must have been pretty confident that your friends in the Order wouldn't turn you over to the ministry if you had actually succeeded in killing Dursley."

Sirius scoffed at him in disgust. "Shut up… Snivellus… at least I have friends who I can count on…"

Snape didn't even bat an eye at that last comment. "Did you ever consider the fact that this extreme display of violence would to do a young man who has suffered extensive abuse? Are you so thick that you don't see how Harry might now associate you with his uncle?"

The next comment Sirius was going to sling at Snape caught in his throat and he found that he had to swallow hard against the thickness that had developed there. How was it that this man could see into his soul and know exactly what he feared most? Was Snape just that intuitive? Or was he using Legilimency to read his thoughts?

Snape stared at him for several seconds daring him to say something in return. Finally finding his voice, Sirius shouted, "Who the hell do you think you are? How dare you say such things to me! You don't know Harry! You don't know what he will think about all of this! Don't you dare stand here and pretend to know a thing about Harry!" He pointed his finger in Snape's face threateningly.

Snape merely knocked his hand away. "I know more about him then you think…" Snape said coolly, his voice sounding quite restrained in contrast to Sirius's growing temper.

"Like hell you do!" shouted Sirius, adjusting the heavy burden hanging on his arm.

"I've trained him in Occlumency… I've seen the horrors of his past… and I know the man that he has become…" Snape said softly.

"What's with the sudden change of heart? Have you finally stopped confusing him with his father?"

"Yes, I have… have you?" Snape asked.

"Why you son-of-a-bitch!" Sirius screamed, launching himself at Snape, forgetting the fact that he only had one free arm to fight.

Before he could even land a blow he was met with a wand jabbing him in the throat. "I think you've done enough damage tonight… go home Black…" Snape said coolly. He took a step back and lowered his wand.

Sirius stared at him, his chest heaving with hatred for this awful excuse for a human being before him. Tearing his eyes away he grabbed another handful of floo powder and stepped back into the fireplace.

He decided that he need to get out of there before he let his emotions get the better of him once again.

Throwing down the floor powder he shouted "_Villa de Luna!"_

Sirius was immediately overcome by a dizzying sensation. He clutched all of the shopping as closely to him as possible to prevent it from getting hung up on anything.

Soon he was stepping out of the green flames and into the cabin. It was utterly quiet and he knew that Remus and Harry must still be in bed, knowing nothing of what Sirius had done tonight.

He quickly removed the shopping from his arm and left it on the table downstairs. He rubbed the soreness out of his arm from where the handles of the bags had bit into him and made his way upstairs.

He briefly paused outside Harry's room to check to see that he was okay. Hearing his godson breathing evenly, he knew that he was sound to sleep.

Sirius made his way to his own bedroom at the cabin and collapsed onto his large bed heavily. He couldn't wait to fall asleep and forget everything that had happened after such a long day.

Not even bothering to remove his clothing and change into his pajamas, Sirius soon drifted off to sleep. Sheer exhaustion was the only thing that kept the nightmares about what he had done at bay.

Just exactly what he would say to Harry and Remus, Sirius didn't know, but that was something he could worry about tomorrow.

* * *

A/N: _After a long day_… what a fitting title for a single day in this story that took so many chapters to write. Things will be moving along now at a steadier pace. I hope you've all enjoyed everything so far. Sorry this chapter was somewhat shorter than the others, but I wanted to save the scenes that happen next for the following chapter. I know it's not my finest work, but it is what it is. I know some of you are angry that Dursley wasn't punished more, but honestly everything I could think of was too complicated to write and I didn't want it to take over the focus or purpose of this story. Please be understanding. 

**Many thanks to all my readers and reviewers!**


	14. Never There

A/N: The title of this chapter and its contents were inspired by the song "Never There" by Hoobastank. Go check it out if you haven't heard it already. I would post the lyrics here, but it's not allowed.

**Chapter 14- Never There**

The bright light of morning filled his simple room alerting Remus of a new day. He had always been an earlier riser and this morning was no exception despite the emotionally exhausting events from the day before. Quietly slipping from his room, he took a moment to check on Harry and Sirius before going about his morning routine.

Peeking into Harry's open bedroom door he saw that the teen was sleeping soundly. He had no way of knowing if Harry had been plagued by any nightmares last night, but from this vantage point at least he knew that his cub was safe and warm in his own bed. He would have to wait until Harry was awake to determine his emotional stability.

Remus knew that the therapy sessions would have to begin again very soon seeing how traumatized Harry was yesterday. Not only was he almost kidnapped by the very man who had repeatedly abused him as a child, but he had sought the comfort of a knife once again. All the progress that they had made together over the last few months seemed to have vanished in a single instant. Sighing, Remus realized that they would have to possibly start all over. He hoped this time the road before them wouldn't be as long.

Seeing that Harry was resting and wouldn't need him immediately, Remus walked across the hall and knocked lightly on Sirius's door. Hearing no answer, he carefully turned the knob and peeked inside. He breathed out in relief upon seeing Sirius's sleeping form having not realized he had been holding his breath. For some reason he had been fearful to open that door and that he would find that Sirius was somehow missing, having gone off and done something rash like he had intended to last night. Remus had gone to bed without checking that Sirius was still home, and his subconscious had worried about it all night, dreaming of his friend doing unspeakable things to the man that had brought Harry so much pain. He was grateful to see that all of his worrying seemed to be for naught.

He quietly closed the door and made his way to the bathroom where he took a long, hot shower to ease his muscles; tired from chopping wood yesterday. When he felt refreshed once again, he made his way downstairs and towards the kitchen. Deciding that he was a bit hungry, Remus made himself a pot of coffee and some toast. Later, when Harry awoke, he would make him a big breakfast and try to get him to eat at least a portion of it. Harry typically did not eat when he was feeling troubled, something Remus feared that the teen had been conditioned to, having been underfed most of his life anyway. Remus desperately wanted to break him of this unfortunate habit.

Sipping at his steaming hot coffee, he sat down at the kitchen table with his curriculum outline for the next school year and nibbled at his toast. He wasn't really concentrating on the notes he made over the last month, but it was all he could think of to distract his mind. He needed to remain calm and collect when he saw Harry again this morning, but as much as he had tried he couldn't keep his thoughts from drifting back to the encounter Harry had with his uncle yesterday and how it would affect him.

He wondered how Harry would be this morning. If he would be skittish and reserved, like in the past, or more comfortable around Remus now they had spent much more time together. He also wondered how Harry would react to Sirius and if he would open up to his godfather or remain closed in on himself.

There was really no way of knowing until Harry came down. Remus planned to get him to eat something and then later suggest that they go for their daily swim. Yes, a bit of normalcy before they talked about what happened was probably the best option.

His curriculum outline long forgotten, Remus sat back with his coffee and looked around the cabin absentmindedly. Because of the spacious open format of the first floor, he could see each of the living areas easily. It was when his eyes scanned over to the dining room area that he noticed for he first time that there was a pile of shopping bags that appeared to be filled with clothing and other miscellaneous items over on the table. He could only assumed that they were the things Sirius and Harry must have purchased yesterday on their shopping spree.

Remus went over to investigate and felt utterly confused. He knew for a fact that those bags hadn't been there yesterday when Sirius had come home looking for Harry, and for the life of him Remus could not think of how they had gotten there. All the windows were tightly shut so now owls could have made delivery. Had someone brought them by the floo? Only Grimmauld Place and Hogwarts were currently connected to the cabin's fire place and Remus couldn't imagine why anyone would bring the bags here in the middle of the night.

Thoroughly perplexed, Remus only turned his attention away from the bags when he heard a pair of feet descending the stairs. He thought for sure that it was going to be Harry, since Sirius was not typically an early riser, and so he fixed a comforting smile on his face and prepared to greet his cub with a warm comment.

He was surprised then when he discovered that it was in fact Sirius coming down the steps. His smile waned slightly when he realized that Sirius was still wearing the same clothes as the night before, having obviously slept in them due to their wrinkled appearance. What was going on?

"You're up early," Remus finally said as Sirius approached him cautiously.

"Didn't sleep very well last night," he replied nonchalantly. Something about Sirius seemed off in the way he was carrying himself and he didn't seem willing to look Remus in the eye.

Curious as ever he asked, "Where did the bags come from? They weren't here yesterday."

"Oh… those… yeah, I made a little trip to my mother's house last night," said Sirius as he yawned and rubbed his eyes tiredly. As he did so Remus spotted a few drops of blood dotting the sleeve of his shirt.

The implications of what Sirius said and the incriminating evidence on his sleeve weaved their way through Remus's mind until they started to make sense. If he went to headquarters last night he very well could have done something to get himself in trouble. An overwhelming sense of anger filled Remus as he realized that Sirius had not only disobeyed his wishes, but also a direct order from Dumbledore.

"What have you done?" Remus said in a low growl.

Sirius raised an eyebrow and gave him a cocky grin. "It doesn't matter, Moony. It's over now."

"What. Have. You. Done?" Remus repeated angrily.

Sirius crossed his arms over his chest, obviously proud of whatever had occurred last night without Remus's knowledge. "I just paid a visit to certain Vernon Dursley and made sure he understood what a bastard he really is…"

Remus stared at him open mouthed. "You didn't! How could you? I expressly told you that you were forbidden to go to headquarters or seek revenge of any kind. How dare you go against my wishes!" he yelled.

"How dare I? Harry is my godson and that son of a bitch did unspeakable things to him! I have every right to do what I think is necessary to ensure his safety! To see that some sort of justice is done!" Sirius yelled back. "It's no different than what you did last summer! Only you used magic!"

"Yeah and I was placed on probation for it by the Ministry, which is why I told you not to do the same. You may have been cleared of all charges, but that doesn't mean your name is completely clean!"

"I don't care! I did what I had to do to take care of my godson! It was the least I could do after all he has been through. And I cannot believe you are going to stand there and tell me differently," he retorted.

"He's not your responsibility anymore Sirius!" Remus screamed, not caring how hurtful his words were at the moment.

"So this is how it's going to be? You think some piece of paper telling you that you are Harry's guardian somehow overrides the fact that James and Lily named me his godfather?" he questioned heatedly.

"They had no way of knowing how poor a choice that really was!" Remus retorted. "You always act on impulse! You never think things through or consider how it might affect anyone else!"

"How dare you!" Sirius yelled angrily, moving towards him.

Remus was about to let out another comment when there was a loud tapping on the window. An owl was hovering just outside trying to deliver its message. Giving Sirius a reproachful glance, he stalked across the room and threw open the window. He quickly removed the parchment from the leg of the owl and began to read its contents. It was a letter from the Order about Sirius's actions last night. They weren't sure whether or not Sirius would own up to what he had done and they wanted Remus to be aware so that he could handle the situation accordingly. He scanned the contents quickly his mouth open in horror as he read the detailed summary of Vernon's numerous injuries.

But before Remus could even finish reading the letter about what Sirius had done, it was snatched away. "If you want to know what happened then you ask me! I don't want you reading whatever version Dumbledore has made up…"

Remus tried to grab the parchment back to no avail. "Sirius do you realize what you have done?" he asked, thoroughly appalled by what he had read already. And he didn't even know what the outcome of it all was, since he was unable to finish the letter. For all he knew Vernon could have died of complications.

If Harry learned about this, it would only further push him away from his godfather. Their relationship was already strained at best.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Although Harry had appeared to be sleeping peacefully when Remus had checked on him this morning, he had really been in the hold of yet another nightmare.

_Harry was backed into a corner with no hope of escape. He couldn't remember how he came to be in this darkened room, but what he did know was that he was in danger. He was not alone in this room. And he was afraid… very much afraid._

_He quickly checked to see if he had his wand with him and discovered that he was utterly defenseless. He didn't know how he was going to get out of this situation alive._

_A large hulking form stalked towards him from across the room. Harry couldn't make out the figure's face, but from the heavy gait he knew with almost certainty who was approaching. The man finally stopped his approach when he came within mere inches from him. At this proximity Harry could smell the hot, putrid breath of the man before him and could now clearly make out the face in front of him in the dim light._

_Vernon!_

_Filled with an absolute horror that had become all too familiar to him, Harry felt a sense of panic set it. He scrambled about desperately, trying to get away. He stretched his arms out searching the foreign walls for some sort of door or opening, but there was nothing. He was literally backed into a corner, and there was no chance he was going to get around his uncle's massive body blocking his escape._

"_So Boy… you told them about our little games, didn't you?" Vernon asked, his voice deceptively calm._

_Harry was too terrified to answer his uncle's question. What would he do to him if he told him the truth? What would he do if he said nothing at all?_

"_Did you tell everyone about what I do to you? Answer me!" Vernon shouted, reaching out to grab Harry by the front of his shirt._

"_Please….don't…" was all Harry could say. He brought his hands up to the large meaty fist holding on to him and desperately tried to remove it from his shirt._

"_I'm going to teach you a lesson that you'll never forget!" he said, removing his grip on Harry's shirt. Instead his hand gripped the back of Harry's hair, wrenching his head backwards so that he was now staring up into Vernon's face. Harry's neck was at a painful angle and his scalp hurt from his hair being pulled so menacingly._

"_NO!" Harry screamed, just as he began swinging his arms wildly, trying to get away._

Harry awoke suddenly, shivering all over despite the heat of the summer morning. He quickly sat up in bed, trying to shake the dream that had just plagued him. For a moment he couldn't think of why he would dream such a thing… it had been so long since he thought of Vernon. Then to his horror, he remembered what had occurred while shopping with Sirius in London.

Memories of what happened yesterday had come flashing back to him in startling clarity. Encountering Vernon in the shop… apparating back home… Remus and Sirius discovering what he had done….

Never before had he ever felt so embarrassed. Not only did he react badly to the situation by cutting himself, but he had also let Remus and Draco down by not being strong enough to resist the urge. And now Sirius knew about all that he had tried to hide from him.

It was just too much. Even after all the hugs and reassuring words it was just too much to handle. He hated having to deal with all of this shit time and again.

He felt like he was going to lose it all over again. He quickly stood up and began pacing around his room anxiously. He needed to stop feeling this way. Writing in his journal was not going to be enough; he knew that much from last night.

The urge to cut again was growing stronger with each passing second, but without his wand or any sharp objects Harry didn't have many options. He wracked his brains trying to find a way to end the madness he was feeling. In the end, he could only think of one solution. He couldn't seem to stop himself despite his promise to Draco and Remus. He dropped to his knees at stared at his hands, wondering if it would even work.

Biting at the nail of his index finger of his right hand, he managed to create a sharp notch in the nail. He quickly dragged it across the skin of the inside of his left forearm, where a long sleeve t-shirt could hide the new damage, but found that he had barely broken the skin. Trying again he dragged he jagged nail faster and harder against the skin and was able to draw a small amount of blood. He stared at the tiny cut with disappointment. It would just have to do. He didn't have any other means to make a larger cut and he really couldn't risk it anyway with both Remus and Sirius in the house.

At first he felt a small bit of satisfaction at looking at his handiwork, but soon another feeling began to set in. Regret… that unshakable feeling that had been haunting Harry since yesterday.

Why was he doing this? Why wasn't he stronger? Didn't he owe it to everyone not to do this anymore after what he put them through? Did he really need to do this?

The guilt over what he had done soon became overwhelming. Feeling disgusted with himself, he quickly wiped the blood away with a tissue and was pleased to see that it had stopped bleeding so quickly. He was better than then this. He didn't need to resort to such measures anymore, did he?

Not feeling better about it all yet, Harry grabbed his journal from the nightstand where Draco must have set it the night before. The pages were crinkled and bent at odd angles and it appeared that it would never lie flat again, but Harry didn't care. He grabbed a pen from his desk and sat down cross legged in bed, resting the journal against one of his legs.

He wasn't sure if writing down his thoughts would help him feel better or not, but at this point he had really nothing to lose. He just wished he had been stronger in the first place.

_Dear Journal,_

_I cut myself again... I cut yesterday with a dagger and today with my own nail when I couldn't find anything else sharp enough. Remus took my wand away again so I couldn't transfigure anything. _

_I had a nightmare this morning. About him…I thought that scratching up my arms would make me feel better again, but it didn't. I only feel guilt and regret. _

_WHY AM I SO WEAK?_

_Yesterday had felt like the worst day in my life, but looking back now I know that it wasn't. I have had much worse days… my parents dying, watching Cedric's murder and Voldemort's resurrection, seeing Sirius fall through the veil, so many incidents during my childhood, my uncle RAPING me… I had several other days that were so much worse, why did I feel that I had to cut myself to cope this time._

_Yeah, I ran into Vernon again and he said some stuff to me and roughed me up bit… but that was all. OK, so I was scared… but I had my wand and I stunned the bloody bastard in the end. I saved myself… again! And I would do it again if I had to._

_Why does it seem like I face these things alone all the time? I guess it doesn't matter. I'm an adult now, I guess. I'm almost fully trained and have the license to use my wand when I see fit. When I stop to think about it, if I were to ever run into my uncle again, who would have the upper hand? I would because I have magic! And I wouldn't hesitate to strike that bastard down!_

_I guess that's what bothering me. Even after all those talks with Remus I can't seem to let go of my past. My so-called relatives never loved me, so why do I dwell on what that thought of me so much. I still feel worthless sometimes. I still feel like a freak. I just wanted to belong…_

_At least now I have Draco… and Remus… and I guess Sirius… and definitely Ron and Hermione._

_I can't do this anymore… I can't cut… they mean too much to me and seeing their disappointment in me yesterday broke my heart._

_I am promising myself here and now… I WILL NOT CUT AGAIN! I AM STRONGER THAN THIS! I WON'T LET THEM THINK ME WEAK! I WON'T LET MYSELF!_

After re-reading his scattered thoughts hastily written in large letters across the paper, Harry slammed his journal closed, breathing heavily. He was still feeling rather emotional about it all and it was unsettling. A part of Harry wanted to write his X's all over his page to relieve some of the tension he was feeling, but that was his substitute to cutting and he didn't even want to think about that anymore.

Deciding that if he really wanted to continue to live without hurting himself, the first step was telling Remus what he had tried to do again. It was the only way he would ever have a clear conscious again about it all. He hoped that Sirius was still asleep just now. He wasn't so sure he wanted to deal with him just yet this morning. Harry was still feeling rather awkward around him now that Sirius knew all of his deepest darkest secrets.

He quickly changed into a fresh set of clothes, forgoing his shower until later, and crept out into the hallway. He nervously ran his hand through his untidy hair, trying think about what he was going to say to Remus when he saw him. Maybe start off with an apology…

As Harry crept towards the top of the stairs, he could hear angry voices downstairs and recognized them as belonging to Sirius and Remus. Harry hoped they weren't fighting about him. He would hate to come between the newly reunited friends for any reason.

Harry peered around the corner and saw Sirius and Remus standing apart from one another, their arms crossed over their chests with angry expressions on their faces. Sirius had just balled up some piece of paper and had thrown it across the room in a defiant manner. Both men were quiet for a moment, assessing one another. Meanwhile, Harry distractedly noticed the bags from their shopping trip to London were on the dining room table and wondered where they had come from.

"If you're not going to let me finish the letter than at least tell me whatever else happened!" Remus shouted, his eyes blazing angrily.

Harry flinched at his tone. He had never seen Remus this upset before and he wondered what was going on to cause the normally quiet man to react so heatedly.

"It's not that big of a deal! Okay!" Sirius shouted back, gesturing with hands. "I went to headquarters, beat the shit out of Vernon Dursley, and came home. End of story!"

Harry felt his heart drop to his stomach and had to lean on the railing of the stairs for support for fear his legs might give out beneath him. Had Sirius really gone and beaten his uncle up? He should have known Sirius would do something like this. He never should have let Remus tell him the whole story about his life with the Dursleys. What had Sirius done?

"I can't believe you would go and do something so stupid!" Remus yelled. "I told you not to go to headquarters and you went and did it anyway. I didn't think I really had to keep you tied up all night to prevent you from doing something like this."

"You're not my keeper, Remus. Stop treating me like a child!" Sirius said angrily, looking away. "I will do whatever I damn well please!"

"Harry is already so upset about yesterday…Do you even realize what you've done?" Remus asked, now rubbing his face tiredly. "Harry is-"

"Of course I do! But I couldn't let Vernon go unpunished!"

"You're not listening to me! Harry is not going to like this one bit," said Remus in a low voice. "If you haven't noticed already Harry has issues with trust. How you can expect him to trust you when you do something like this?"

Sirius growled in annoyance. "I understand that, but I needed to do this… Somehow I think Harry will understand too. I needed to let that son of a bitch know just how much of a bastard he really is!"

Neither one of them had noticed Harry yet, so he quietly made his way down the steps. Harry felt very tightly wound at the moment, and the more he listened this conversation the more he disliked what he was hearing.

"Sirius, you didn't kill the man, did you?" Remus asked carefully.

Sirius snorted and replied, "So what if I did?"

What if Sirius had killed Vernon out of revenge? The Ministry would surely lock him up in Azkaban again. How could Sirius do something like this and not think about the consequences?

Harry felt like he had just gotten his godfather back only to have him snatched away again. Harry couldn't bear to think of losing Sirius once more. Despite all of the tension between them over the last few weeks, they had begun to open up to each other again. Before the incident with Vernon, they had begun to bond on their little shopping spree. And just last night Sirius had embraced him with open arms even after everything he had learned about Harry's horrible past.

How could Sirius do this to him after they had finally got to know each other again?

Something inside Harry snapped. He had never felt so hurt and angry in all of his life. Before he even knew what he was doing he had stalked across the room. "How could you!" he shouted.

"Harry-" Sirius said in a startled voice as he whipped around to face his godson.

Remus was surprised to see him as well. He stared at him wide eyed and Harry knew he was watching his every move.

"How could you!" he repeated, his voice sounding choked. Harry suddenly decided that he couldn't even stand to be in the same room as Sirius right now. He quickly turned on his heel and ran towards the cabin door, ignoring the two shocked men standing behind him.

"Harry wait!" Sirius shouted frantically. "It's not like that-"

But Harry didn't wait. He didn't want to hear any more. Right now he hated Sirius for what he had done and he wanted to be as far away from the man as possible.

Harry threw open the cabin door and ran bare footed outside. He was oblivious to the direction he was running, but he soon found himself heading for the dock.

* * *

"Harry, wait!" Sirius yelled after his godson, but Harry wasn't listening to him right now. "Dammit!" 

"Well this is certainly a fine mess!" Remus said to him coldly, brushing past Sirius and walking out onto the front porch in the hopes of catching up to Harry.

Sirius quickly followed and grabbed Remus's arm, whirling him around to face him. "Wait! Listen! I didn't kill Dursley! Okay? I just said that because I was irritated with you for scolding me like a child again. I didn't know Harry was standing there!" Sirius said breathlessly.

"You didn't kill Dursley?" Remus asked slowly, crossing his arms again over his chest as he glared at his best friend.

"No! Pomfrey's already healed the bastard up- well the best that she could, there is some permanent damage- and he's on his way home! I didn't kill him, as much as I wanted to, I didn't kill him. You've got to believe me," Sirius pleaded with Remus desperately.

"I believe you… but it's Harry you have to convince… he's really upset right now," said Remus with an a frustrated tone. "There's no telling what he might do. He is in a very fragile state."

Sirius nodded in agreement, realizing how complicated this situation had become. "I know… I seem to have made a bigger mess of things haven't I?" Sirius asked, running a shaky hand through his long black hair.

"Yes you have. Now I need to go talk to him before he does something rash, so…" Remus said, brushing Sirius aside once more.

"Let me… "

"I don't know..." he said cautiously.

"Please… I need to do this," Sirius stated firmly. "I promise to come get you if, well you know, Harry needs you…"

Remus looked reluctant at first, but finally nodded. "I will be speaking to him later anyway… for a session…" he added when he saw the odd look Sirius gave him. "Just be careful of what you say… he's sensitive right now."

"I know…" Sirius said, as he descended the cabin steps quickly.

"Sirius?" Remus called after him.

"Yeah?" Sirius asked irritably. He really wanted to be on his way to speak with Harry.

"What was the permanent damage?"

Sirius smirked at the question, knowing that Remus would not fault him for what he had done. Remus may have disliked his decision to go after Dursley, but deep down he knew that his friend wanted Harry's uncle to pay for his crimes just as much as he did. "I could go into every delicious detail, but… partially blinded the bastard and well… he can't perform sexually anymore," Sirius said, somewhat proudly.

"Good," was all Remus said, as he turned to go back into the cabin.

Sirius eyes quickly scanned the property, searching for his godson or perhaps some sign of which direction he had gone. Squinting against the bright sun light, Sirius saw Harry only a little ways away; standing beside the dock throwing rocks into the water. He walked towards him slowly, hoping not to startle the teen. He made sure to make a lot of noise in the brush as he walked towards him so as to alert Harry of his presence. He was sure that Harry heard him because at one point he had turned his head slightly to the side to see who was coming.

Harry didn't acknowledge him, however. He just continued to search for rocks to throw them angrily into the water. Sirius was somewhat surprised that Harry hadn't run away from him again. He half expected to chase the teen all afternoon trying to apologize and looking for forgiveness.

It was a calm day, with little chance of a breeze, the surface of the lake was like a perfect mirror. The only disturbance in the water's surface was the ripples caused by Harry's rocks breaking the surface tension.

Sirius was at a loss at how he was going to begin this difficult conversation with Harry. He had never been very eloquent with words like Remus and his time in Azkaban and Limbo had left somewhat dysfunctional when it came to understanding how to communicate with others. His extreme isolation had left him with a social ineptitude for understanding what others were feeling at times.

Sirius came to stand beside his godson and softly said, "You know… most people try to skip rocks across the water, not throw rocks at it."

Harry gave him a scornful look and then threw a large rock as hard as he could at the water to be spiteful. Unfortunately, his aim was a little off and the rock struck then end of the dock instead, denting the surface of the wood.

Sirius sighed at his godson's anger at him. "Harry… I didn't kill him…"

Harry was about to throw another rock, but stopped in mid throw as he registered what his godfather had said. "You didn't?" Harry asked in disbelief, lowering his arm and dropping the stone beside him.

Sirius shook his head and tried to catch Harry's eye so that he would know his sincerity. "No… I was just making a rude comment to Remus because I was irritated… I didn't kill him…"

"I really thought you had… and that the ministry was going to put you back in Azkaban or something. I thought I was going to lose you again…" Harry said angrily.

"I know, I'm sorry…"

"So you didn't go beat up my uncle?" Harry questioned.

Sirius sighed again deeply and said, "Well, no… I did do that part, but I didn't kill him…" This conversation certainly wasn't going to be easy. How was he going to explain all the reasons behind his actions without brining up Harry's painful past?

"What did you… what did you do to him?"

Sirius took a deep breath and recounted his actions last night. He even revealed the injuries Vernon sustained and how he was reprimanded by the Order. He figured being honest with Harry was better at this point then having him learn about it from somebody else. Harry had listened attentively, a mixture of awe and confusion on his face. Sirius couldn't help but notice the small glimmer of satisfaction in Harry's eyes when he learned that there would be some lasting damage.

When he was finished, Sirius waited quietly for Harry to say something. It seemed as if Harry was processing everything he had said. When several moments passed without a word he softly said, "Harry… are you okay?"

Harry looked at him in disgust and said, "Why would you do such a thing! How could you!"

"Harry! I had to! He did unspeakable things to you! What kind of person would I be if I let someone hurt my godson like that and get away with it?" Sirius asked.

"I can't believe you would do something like that. You're just like him!" Harry turned away from him and crossed his arms across his body protectively.

Sirius was horrified at the accusation, especially in light of what Harry had said about him wanting to play "games" with him last night. "Don't you dare say that, Harry! I am nothing like your uncle. I would never harm a child or anyone else for that matter- who didn't deserve it!" Sirius exclaimed.

"But you still beat the crap out him! I know you didn't kill him, but were you trying to?"

Sirius didn't honestly know the answer to that question and it scared him a bit. Was he trying to commit murder? He decided to side step that issue instead. "I can't believe you're upset that your uncle was even hurt!" Sirius shouted in disbelief.

"I'm not! I hate him!" Harry shouted. "I HATE HIM!"

"Then what's wrong?"

"I don't… I d-don't like violence," was all Harry said, as he hugged himself about his waist.

Sirius couldn't help but be reminded of Snape's comment to him last night at headquarters just before he left. "_Did you ever consider the fact that this extreme display of violence would to do a young man who has suffered extensive abuse? Are you so thick that you don't see how Harry might now associate you with his uncle?"_

Realizing that he could ultimately destroy his relationship with his godson if he wasn't careful, he softened his tone. "I know that Harry, but how is what I did last night any different then what Remus did to him last year?" Sirius asked.

Harry seemed to consider what he said for a moment. "I don't know… I guess its not… that wasn't right either… but you didn't even think about the consequences, did you? What if you had killed him?" Harry asked.

"So what if I had? So what? Vernon Dursley is a complete bastard that doesn't even deserve to live, let alone walk around free for his crimes!" said Sirius, feeling some of his resolve beginning to wane in frustration.

"But they could have put you in Azkaban! They would have taken you away from me again…" said Harry. His voice sounded almost pained with anxiety.

Sirius shook his head. "No… I wouldn't let them… I would have just gone on the run again if need be… I've done it once; I could do it again…"

Harry stared at him incredulously, his eyes shining with fury. "How could you even think about that? The Order wouldn't let me run away with you! Why didn't you think about me?"

"I was thinking of you…" Sirius said impatiently.

"No you weren't! If you were, you never would have taken the risk. You always do this, act on impulse!" Harry stamped the ground with his foot, like an angry child.

"But Harry… I thought…"

"I don't care what you were thinking! Every time I need you around, you're never there! Never!"

"Harry…" Sirius began to say, but knew that Harry was right.

Harry's words stung Sirius's heart and he knew what he was saying was true. He had given up the chance to raise Harry so that he could seek revenge on Wormtail and as a result Harry was condemned to a childhood of pain and hate. Even when they were reunited in Harry's third year, Sirius had initially chosen to kill Wormtail instead of handing him over to the authorities to clear his name. He was so consumed for his hatred for the man that had betrayed them all, that he was willing to give up on the chance to raise Harry yet again.

Although unintentional, Sirius had all but abandoned him when he fell through the Veil while dueling with his cousin at the Department of Mysteries. And later, Sirius wasn't there again when Harry was attacked by his uncle on their shopping trip. The poor boy had to save himself, _again_. And now, when Harry seemed to need him the most, he risked everything to seek revenge all over again.

"It's true! I never wanted to say this to you Sirius, but you've never been there for me. "

Sirius could feel an awful ache tugging at his heart. Everything Harry was saying was true. Every time Harry had ever needed him, he had never been there. And even when he had been around he had ignored what was right in front of him. He should been the one to recognize all the signs that Harry left for them to read right in from of their faces. There had been so many indications that something was wrong… how Harry hated living with the Dursleys, how he was always so thin after the summer holidays, how withdrawn he always seemed… Of anyone, Sirius should have been the one to recognize the signs. He and Harry shared similar pasts and yet he never once realized the extent that Harry had suffered while he stayed on Privet Drive.

"I'm sorry, Harry… I didn't realize…" Sirius said, feeling himself getting choked up on the pain he was feeling inside. "I'm sorry…"

Before he knew, his eyes had filled to the brim and soon the traitorous tears were falling down his face. It seemed so odd to be filled with such sorrow on such a bright beautiful day, but Sirius could no longer feel the warmth of the sun. Instead his heart felt cold and numb, like his entire world was shrinking in upon him. A darkness surrounded his soul in such a way that he could have sworn he was in Limbo again, reliving every awful memory. Feeling like he had no other choice, Sirius sank shamefully to his knees and begged Harry. "Please, please forgive me…"

"Sirius, don't-"

"Harry… please forgive me… I'm so sorry… please forgive me…" Sirius begged from his position on the ground.

Harry looked down, surprised to see his godfather in such a state. His firm resolve slowly dissipated and his features softened when he realized what Sirius was trying to do. He kneeled down in front of Sirius and said, "It's okay, Sirius… I was just mad… I didn't mean to make you so upset… I'm sorry…"

"Never say you're sorry… you have nothing to be sorry for… you were just being honest." Sirius reached out and placed his hand on Harry's shoulders, debating with himself whether or not to pull Harry into a hug like he so desperately wanted to. The last thing he needed was to startle Harry unnecessarily.

"I've just been so upset about everything… I didn't mean to take it out on you…" said Harry, his chin beginning to tremble noticeably as if he were trying to prevent himself from getting too emotional. Soon his eyes were filling with tears of his own.

"Harry, what is it?" Sirius asked, when he realized that something more was going on.

"It's just… it's just… I had a nightmare about my uncle and when I came downstairs I thought you had killed him…. and even though I was mad at you because I thought you would be leaving me again…. I was relieved… I was relieved that he was _dead_…." Harry began to sob.

Sirius finally reached out and pulled his godson into his arms. As he hugged Harry to him, his own crystalline tears falling onto teen's black messy hair. Sirius made himself a solemn vow. He silently promised that he would do everything in his power to see that Harry was safe and happy again. No one should ever have to go through this much pain. It was amazing to see how well Harry turned out in light of everything he had been through.

He softly stroked his godson's head as he whispered comforting words. "Shh… it's alright. We're going to be alright now…. I'm never going to leave you again… we'll get through this…"

"I know… it's just hard," Harry said, wiping away his tears determinedly.

"Yeah it is…" Sirius said softly. "But you'll be okay… we'll be okay…"

"I hope so…" he said, pulling away.

Something had been weighing on his mind since last night and he felt that he needed to approach the topic again. "Harry, you know I would never hurt you, right? I want you to trust me, and I'm afraid that now you don't."

"I know you wouldn't hurt me…" Harry said softly, his green eyes were clear now and Sirius new that his words were genuine. Nothing could have made Sirius feel better than that statement.

"Good, because we're going to hanging around each other a lot and I wanted to make sure…"

Harry smiled at him as he stood up. Sirius rose up beside him and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay? I want you to be honest with me…"

"I'm not sure if I'm okay, but I know I will be… I've got you, Remus, and Draco watching out for me… and the Weasleys… and Hermione…and…" Harry said, naming all the members of his family.

Sirius chuckled at the list of names. "Seems like you have a lot people who love you and that are looking out for you."

"Yeah, I do…" Harry said with a smile.

Sirius had also relied on his friends to be his family, and he was glad that Harry could do the same. After a short while the pair started walking back towards the cabin, their stomachs growling hungrily.

As they walked, Sirius suddenly realized something he had meant to tell Harry. "Speaking of Malfoy…I mean, _Draco_… He told me last night to tell you that he loves you and if you need him that he'll be there…"

Harry blushed a deep shade of red at the mention of his boyfriend and their love for each other. "Thanks… it's nice to hear…"

Glancing up Sirius was surprised to see none other than Draco Malfoy sitting on the cabin steps beside Remus. "Well, speak of the devil…" said Sirius with a laugh.

Sirius was starting to find that he was warming up to Malfoy, as odd as that seemed. It was clear to him now after watching the couple together these last two days, just how much Harry and Draco cared for each other. If Harry found someone to love him unconditionally and could help him heal from his horrific past, then he wasn't going to deny him such an opportunity, even if that person had a questionable past.

"Draco!" Harry shouted, running toward his boyfriend earnestly. "I'm so glad to see you…"

The tall platinum blond teen stood up quickly from his spot on the porch to greet Harry. "Hey love," Draco replied warmly, embracing the smaller teen in his arms. "I've been worried about you. Can't seem to stay away…How are you?"

"I'm fine…" Harry said quickly, avoiding eye contact.

Sirius was certain that his godson wasn't fine, but at least they had made some progress together today. He caught up to the small group and watched the scene before him with interest, feeling somewhat forgotten.

From the look on his face, Draco didn't seem to believe Harry either. It was clear from the redness around his eyes that he had been crying earlier, but Draco didn't mention it. He seemed to want to say something more about the situation, but instead said, "Well, do you feel up to going swimming? I brought my suit."

"Yeah, that sounds great. I need a good distraction," said Harry rushing past Remus, who was standing on the steps, to change into his own suit.

"Hey, what about breakfast?" Remus called after him.

"I'll eat later!" Harry yelled back as he ran inside.

Draco followed his boyfriend into the cabin shaking his head in amusement, leaving Remus and Sirius alone on the porch.

"You guys talked it out?" Remus asked, his face surveying Sirius's own carefully.

He nodded and took a deep breath. He really did not feel like getting into it with Remus just now. "Yeah, he was pretty upset with me for a while there…I think he felt like I had abandoned him. We came to an understanding though…"

"I see…" said Remus.

Sirius wasn't sure what to make of Remus's comment so he continued, hoping to win some sort of respect from his friend for handling the situation so discretely. "He seems to be okay though… seemed pretty eager to go for a swim just now too."

Remus thought about those words carefully and said, "Yeah… but I can't help but feel like he is just putting on a front for all of us."

"You think?"

Remus nodded and stared out at the landscape thoughtfully. "Yeah… but if acting normally is helping Harry to cope then I'm not going to say anything against it… as long as he doesn't try to deny what happened yesterday. I just hope he'll open up again when the time is right."

Sirius nodded in agreement, hoping that when that time came that Harry could talk to them both… not just Remus.

Draco and Harry soon came rushing out of the cabin past them and ran towards the direction of the lake, clad in bathing suits and towels in hand. Draco must have cast a glamour charm on Harry for his body bore no trace of the self inflicted scars or the scars of his past. Instead, they looked like two healthy young teenagers racing towards the lake at breakneck speed. Harry reached the end of the dock first, tossed his towel behind him, and jumped cannonball style into the frigid water. Draco chose instead to gracefully dive into the water. They both resurfaced quickly and began splashing each other playfully. Sirius couldn't help but laugh at their childish antics.

Remus and Sirius decided to sit in the old rockers on the porch as they watched the pair frolic and play like a couple of five year olds in the water. They rocked silently, observing the two teens and enjoying the warm summer day. However, for all the beauty around them, neither one could deny the darkness that had somehow settled between them, though neither had spoken of it.

The tension between them seemed to be growing with each passing minute and Sirius soon found it to be almost suffocating. Finding that he could bear it no longer, he turned to his friend and asked, "Are you still mad at me? For going after Dursley?"

Remus considered what he said for a moment. "I am mad that you went against my wishes, yes… but I can't say that I don't feel somewhat relieved that someone made Dursley pay. I just wished you would have listened to me instead of reacting so recklessly. I don't enjoy having to stun you and tie you up to get you to hear me out."

Sirius took what his friend said to heart realizing that he was making a lot of sense. "Remus, I think you and I need to talk about Harry… we both said some stuff to each other last night and this morning that I don't think either of us meant…"

Remus sighed in relief beside him. "I'm glad you brought it up… I've been thinking about that as well…" He took a breath and seemed to steel himself for what he had to say next. "I did say some things I didn't mean. I'm sorry for being such a prat…"

"It's okay. I've been a git myself…" Sirius said softly, staring at his hands folded in his lap. "Sorry about that."

"No, it's not okay. This is not an excuse for my behavior, but I think you should know the reasons why I've acted the way I have…"

"I'm listening..."

Remus continued to rock and stare out at the lake, unwilling to look Sirius in the eye. "Well, I've never told anyone this before, but I have always been a little resentful of the fact that as a werewolf I am denied by law a chance to have a proper family. I accepted it over time, but it never really hurt any less…"

"I knew that Moony…"

"Yes, well… when the opportunity arose for me to take custody of Harry, I jumped at the chance. Not just because he is James and Lily's son or what had happened to him and I thought I could help… I wanted custody of him because I also wanted something for me… a family…"

Remus paused for a moment and Sirius felt himself holding his breath, waiting for what his friend might say next. He could tell that this was all very painful for Remus to say.

"As much as I love having you back with us Padfoot, I worry that Harry might want to be with his godfather instead of his new guardian. I worry that you might take him from me… however unintentionally…" he added softly.

Sirius was shocked to say the least. He had been worried all this time about his role in Harry's life, wondering where he would fit into it, and Remus had been worried about the very same thing. "I would never do that! I couldn't possibly!"

"I guess deep down I know that, but it's something I worry about anyway… a lot actually. I've worked so hard to ensure that he is safe and happy, but I'm not you. I don't think I can give him what you can. I worry that I'm somehow not enough for him. You and Harry used to be really close… It sounds stupid to say it out loud, but I worry that he might choose you over me… and that I will be left all alone, _again_…" Remus's voice sounded so small and helpless. It pained Sirius to think of his friend feeling so lonesome.

Sirius stopped rocking and stared at him in disbelief. "How could you think that? Remus, I would never do that to you… I know what you and Harry mean to each other. Is this really why you've been so irritated with me? Why you've been throwing your guardianship over him in my face?"

Remus nodded reluctantly. "Well, yes… in some ways I think of Harry as my cub. I love him as if he was my own child and I didn't feel like you were making the best decisions for Harry's welfare so I played my guardian card in the hopes of getting the upper hand."

"I figured as much…but it was really unnecessary. I have no intentions of ever taking Harry from you. Its easy to see how close you two are now. But I need to be just as much a part of his life. I love him like a son too. And I am still his godfather… Can't we be a family together?"

Remus smiled. "I was hoping you might say that Padfoot. I think Harry would like that very much. He needs both of us in his life right now."

"You don't know what a relief it is to hear you say that… I was kept in the dark for so long about so many things… I was beginning to wonder if I would ever belong in this tight knit little family you and Harry have created," Sirius said honestly.

"But we need to respect each other's decisions when it comes to Harry and discuss stuff that is important…like parents would…"

Sirius nodded, feeling very relieved about it all. "Agreed."

Remus couldn't have looked happier about their new arrangement either. "But no more impulsive decisions…"

"Alright, fair enough. Well, I guess we're one big happy family now…" he said, feeling better than he had in a very long time.

"A family… now and forever…" said Remus, with a smile. "Harry will be pleased."

Sirius was glad they had finally hashed all of that out. At least now they knew where they stood with one another. They sat in the rocking chairs for a little while longer, enjoying the weather.

After a short while, Sirius realized that there was something that was still bugging him.

"Hey Remus?" he finally asked.

"Hmm? What?" he asked, tearing his eyes from the lake where he was watching the boys still swim.

"Can I have my wand back?"

Remus let out a shaky laugh. "I suppose…If you promise to be good!"

* * *

A/N: So much angst… don't worry, this story will be fluffier for a short while. Sorry that chapter took me so long to get out, but both my beta and myself have been quite busy as of late. I'm hoping to have more time to write now, but I can't promise anything. Some of you seemed surprised by the sudden animosity between Sirius and Remus over Harry's custody, but I think it made perfect sense to have some sort of tension. I hope that you like how it was resolved. Don't forget to leave me a review! 

**Many thanks to all my reviewers and readers! **

**And one thousand thanks for my dedicated beta Drae, who has been with me since nearly the beginning and tirelessly proofreads my stories even with everything going on in her life. You're the best!**


	15. Healing Once Again

A/N: If you didn't know from reading my other fic, I recently had someone plagiarize two of my stories and post them on another site under their own username. They took the time to erase the review responses, but kept the same titles, _Bring Me to Life_ and _Echoes of the Mind_. Can you believe it? I was very upset over the whole ordeal! Fortunately, the problem as has since been taken care of. A huge thanks must go out to _Col Sanders_ for making me aware of the situation. If anyone else notices my stories elsewhere, please let me know as soon as possible.

**Chapter 15- Healing Once Again**

Harry awoke the next morning with one thing on his mind… _keep moving… don't stop…_ He knew that if he stopped for any length of time his thoughts would quickly return to things he'd rather not think about.

_Don't think about it…_

Much like last year, Harry soon found that he needed to keep busy in order to prevent himself from dwelling on unpleasant things. Although he was determinedly putting his past behind him, he could feel a darkness creeping up inside of him once again. It was all he could do to prevent himself from slipping into depression. He felt tired all of the time now and his chest and shoulders felt as if there were some sort of invisible weight pushing down on him.

Harry tried to stay upbeat and positive, but it was hard; especially when his normal tendencies would have him slicing up his arms to drive all the evil way. But he was not going to do that now… he was better than all of that.

Distractions were what Harry needed right now. Any distraction… so that he wouldn't think about his past… so he wouldn't think about him…

_Keep moving… don't think about it…_

Looking about his room for something to do, he noticed the numerous piles of things that were now scattered about his room. He had decided to attempt to put away all of his things once again, when a small brown owl came tumbling into his window in a haphazard fashion. The poor thing zigged and zagged about the room helplessly before finally landing upside down on his bed.

"Hullo, who are you?" he asked, as he set the bird upright on the footboard of his bed.

The little owl gave a shiver and then extended its leg towards Harry indicating he had a letter to deliver. Unrolling the parchment he had detached from the scaly leg, Harry discovered that the letter was from Neville. Looking down at the frazzled bird with its feathers all out of place, it seemed only fitting that a boy who was so endlessly clumsy was to have a bird that matched his personality. It reminded him so much of Neville he couldn't help but reach out to help the thing straighten its feathers.

Hedwig hooted at him from her perch when she saw him stroke the poor bird, as if to remind him who his pet really was. She was eyeing the pitiful thing in the same way that she looked at Ron's owl Pig. Clearly its behavior was not what she thought was respectful or dignified for bird of such importance, and she seemed put out that Harry would even pet such a creature.

"Oh Hedwig, don't be jealous, you're still my favorite owl…" he said softly as he gave both birds some owl treats.

The little brown owl hooted happily and quickly ate its snack. As soon as it was done, however, it flapped its wings a few times experimentally until it was hovering a few feet above Harry's bed. Seeming satisfied that it wouldn't fall out of the air again, the owl promptly flew back out of the window, narrowly missing the window frame on its way.

"Hey, wait! I still have to write back to Neville," Harry called after the absentminded owl in frustration, but it was useless. The owl was already tumbling over the trees in its shaky flight home. Harry couldn't remember Hedwig ever returning without a reply from his friends, and wondered if it was a difference in the training or the personality of each owl.

"Looks like you're going to have a bit of a fly today, girl," he said to Hedwig, who rose up her chest in a proud like manner.

Harry turned his attention back to Neville's letter and wondered what his bumbling friend might have to say. They had just seen each other a couple of days ago at the Ministry of Magic, but to Harry it seemed like weeks because of everything that had happened. He was quite curious to see what Neville had to say so he began to read:

_August 3, 1997_

_Dear Harry,_

_How have you been? I'm okay. Gran is still bugging me and I wish I could get away, but overall my summer has been pretty good. Ginny and I write as much as we can, but it just isn't the same as seeing her. I can't wait until we go back to Hogwarts in the autumn. Guess what? I finally passed my Apparition test! It took some doing, but I finally made it through in the end. I don't know how much Apparating I'm going to do in the near future, but I like knowing that I at least can now. Anyway, I just wanted to say hello and ask you about your summer. I bet you're having all kinds of fun with your guardians. Having Sirius Black as your godfather must be so cool! Gran and I might be taking a holiday sometime this summer, but I would like to get together with you, Ron, and Draco sometime if that's alright. Well, I gotta go… Gran's calling. I will try to write again soon._

_-Neville_

Harry smiled down at Neville's letter. He was truly happy that his friend had finally passed his test. Harry knew how much anxiety he had had over the whole ordeal and he wished he could instill some more confidence in him. He had been doing so well in Dumbledore's Army in their fifth year, but they had not reassembled the club last year. Harry had been stressed enough as it was dealing with the aftermath of his time in Limbo and dreaming about strange memories that he later learned belonged to Sirius; he didn't dare think about starting the DA again with everything going on. Besides, they had Remus for a DADA teacher now so it didn't seem as necessary. But he wondered what that year off did to Neville's confidence. Thinking about his friend and how hard he tried despite his short comings made Harry want to start the club up again next year. It was certainly something to think about.

Harry quickly sat down at his desk, grabbing a quill and a spare piece of parchment to write to his friend. It was then that he noticed a pile of cards and envelopes pushed off to one side of the desk, and for a moment he had forgotten why they were there. He wracked his brain trying to remember and finally had to pick up one of the cards to read the inside when he couldn't recall. Quickly scanning the contents he realized what he was looking at and what had happened. He had never finished his thank you cards from his surprise birthday party because of what happened in London.

_Don't think about it… keep busy…_

He groaned in frustration, wishing he would have sent them off sooner. After surviving a childhood in which he never received anything that wasn't a hand-me down, he had come to appreciate the thoughtfulness of others. Thanking his friends for their kindness was important to him and he hated himself for becoming so distracted that he had forgotten all about them.

Harry decided to write back to Neville first. The trouble was, however, that Harry wasn't sure exactly what to say. Neville had asked about how his summer had been… could he tell him that it had been somewhat confusing and depressing? Or that he nearly had a nervous break down and sliced up his arms? Of course, Neville probably didn't know about the events that occurred after Harry had left the Apparition center that morning, or the profound impact it had on him. He trusted Ginny, Neville's girlfriend, not to say anything if she even knew what had happened. And Harry wasn't so sure that he wanted Neville to know. It wasn't that he didn't trust Neville with the information; it was just nice having a friend that he could be "normal" with. In the end he wrote:

_Dear Neville,_

_Congratulations on passing your Apparition test! I knew you could! My summer has been okay so far. Mostly I've been hanging out with Draco and Ron and studying for next year. Living with Sirius and Remus is certainly interesting. It takes some getting used to, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It would be great if we could all get together soon. I would love it if you could come to the cabin some time. What do you think? Well, I will write again soon. Take care and have good summer. -Harry_

_P.S. I think your owl is as forgetful as you… it forgot to wait for my reply, which is why I had to send Hedwig. _

It felt good to write to Neville without having to worry about all that other stuff. It made him feel like a normal teenager for once.

After rereading his letter, Harry glanced up momentarily and noticed again the several photos he had pinned to the wall. The smiling faces of his parents and grandparents at various ages were looking down at him from their pictures, and he found a small amount of comfort in being able to see them looking so happy. He sighed wistfully at what could have been.

_Don't think about it… you can't change it…_

He then carefully rolled the parchment and walked towards Hedwig, who already had her leg outstretched waiting for him. Harry promptly tied the letter on using a leather thong and gave Hedwig another owl treat as he stroked her beautiful white feathers. He knew if he didn't give her a bit of attention now after the brown owl had come barging into her territory that she would be upset with him later.

"Alright girl, take this letter to Neville…" he said. "Be nice to his owl when you get there. He probably didn't mean to leave without my letter."

Hedwig hooted appreciatively, since it had been a long while since she delivered anything. She gave him a gentle nip with her beak and then spread her long wings taking flight. She then soared through the air and out the open window, cuffing the side of his head with her wing as she flew.

Returning back to his desk, Harry sat down to finish the thank you letters he had begun the morning of his Apparition test. It took him quite a while since he had to remember what everyone had given him, but he finally completed them all. He would have to ask Remus about how to go about owling them to everyone. It would be too big a job for Hedwig, unless she did it over several weeks. Harry thought that maybe he could send them to Hogwarts and borrow the school owls to deliver them all at once. He set them aside and decided to mention it to Remus later.

_Keep moving…_

Harry then turned his attention to the matter of the clutter in his room. To say it was a mess was an understatement and it bothered him greatly. Because of his upbringing as a virtual house slave, Harry had developed a need for tidiness and order. He had never finished putting away his birthday presents from his party and now he had an entire shopping spree of things to put away as well.

All of the shopping bags had been brought up by Sirius and Remus yesterday. He was amazed to see just how many things he now owned. Before, all of his belongings could fit entirely in his trunk for Hogwarts, but now it was clear that he would have to leave quite a bit behind when he returned to school in the autumn.

This was certainly a first for him… having a home to keep his stuff in… having a bedroom that was all his own… filled with personal belongings and clothing that actually fit him… it was almost too good to be true.

Harry smiled, feeling very rich for the first time in his life despite all the gold that lined his vault in Gringott's.

He had no idea where to begin. He turned a slowly in a complete circle, surveying everything that needed to be put away and decided that he would start with the all the clothing.

He opened up his bedroom closet and was amused to see that there was almost nothing hanging it but a couple sets of his Hogwart's uniform, his school robes, and a bottle green dress robe he had gotten for the Yule Ball in his fourth year. Other than that, his closet was completely bare. He never had anything else to hang in there. He went through each of the shopping bags and hung his nicest shirts and pants on the hangers that he had found in the closet. He also hung up a few jackets he now had as well as the six new wizarding robes that Sirius had made him buy. Most of the robes were for casual wear, some were formal, and one automatically adjusted according to the temperature outside.

Next, Harry neatly folded all of his new t-shirts and made a couple piles on the floor, hoping to organize them somewhat before he put them away. He knew he wanted to place them all in the dresser so he went through the drawers trying to decide where to put them. He pulled out each drawer and noted that he still had a lot of hand me downs from the Dursleys. Seeing those overly large shirts and pants brought back too many painful memories. Harry systematically ripped every single one out of the drawers and threw them onto his bed. He had no reason to hang out to these horrid things anymore and he was going to throw them away the first chance he got. He also tossed out any old socks and underwear he found knowing that in one of these bags he had plenty of replacements. Sirius had been adamant about buying him new socks and underwear as well as all the clothes on their shopping trip. It had been embarrassing at the time, but Harry was glad now that he had.

With his drawers now empty, Harry finished putting his things away. He found his jeans wouldn't fit with all the other clothes in the drawers so he hung those in the closet as well. He soon located his three new pairs of shoes and lined them up beneath his clothes in the closet.

With the clothing out of the way, Harry began putting away some of his other gifts from his birthday. The box of chocolates was left on his dresser for easy access and his warm woolen cloak was hung in the closet. The sampler box of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes went up on a shelf in his closet beside the other two boxes he had yet to use.

Harry moved his pensieve from the nightstand back into the wooden box that usually held it and placed it on the floor on the other side of his bed, out of the way. The album from Ron and Hermione was then placed on his nightstand beside the framed picture of the trio. Realizing that it was silly now to hide the black and white picture of him and Draco, he brought the frame out from where he had hidden it in the drawer of his nightstand beside his mother's journal on ancient magic. He had put it away before so that Sirius wouldn't see it and know of their relationship, but that didn't matter now. His godfather knew everything. He then lovingly arranged everything on the nightstand until it looked just so.

The only thing left to put away was his Quidditch set and the dragon hide pads. It wasn't really practical to keep them in his room and Harry figured he could ask Remus about another place to store them later, but for now he kind of liked how they looked positioned in the corner of his room.

He gathered up all the old clothes on his bed and shoved them all into the empty shopping bags and placed them outside in the hallway to be disposed of later. For some reason he simply couldn't stand to have them in his room any longer. He didn't want them tainting his new things or reminding him of his past.

_Don't think about it…_

Glancing around his now tidy room, Harry felt a certain level of satisfaction. Cleaning his bedroom had been rather cathartic, and he felt much calmer than he had earlier. Something about cleaning and organizing always helped to put his mind at ease.

All that was left was his box of mementos from his parents that Remus and Sirius had given him for his birthday. Carefully lifting the box, Harry carried it over to his bed and sat down beside it cross legged.

He gently rifled through the box selecting the sentimental items that he wanted to look at more closely. The box held old love letters that his parents had written to each other, a few baby toys that must have belonged to Harry, dried flowers from Lily's wedding bouquet, jewelry, and an assortment of odds and ends.

Harry had already taken a lot of the old photos out of the box and had placed them on the wall in front of his desk. There were pictures of Harry's grandparents and old photos of his parents in school. He would have to ask Remus about getting some picture frames for them later.

He was especially curious about the love letters, but decided to save them for another time. There was one thing in particular he was looking for. He soon located the solid black spherical object that was so precious to him. It was a holographic recorder that had been used to record an image at his parents' wedding.

Harry really wanted to see his parents just now, but he wondered if he was even going to be able to make it work. Harry had seen Sirius levitate the ball and then tap it with his wand, but Remus had taken his wand from him. Could he make it work without a wand?

Harry wasn't sure. He had never really tried wandless magic before… well, at least not intentionally. There were several episodes in his past when he had accidentally caused something to happen, like the time he blew up his Aunt Marge. But never had he done magic intentionally without a wand…

Except… there was that time that he opened that door in the temple on Donn Island when the others couldn't. Harry wasn't sure if that was wandless magic or not. He had only turned the handle in his hand. But then again, it hadn't worked for Ron or Draco and Hermione's unlocking charm hadn't worked either. For some reason he had just known that he could.

Figuring he had nothing else to lose, Harry held the black sphere up in his left hand and tapped it with finger from his right hand, pouring all of his will and intent into making the object work. Nothing happened at first, so Harry tried again, concentrating with all of his might.

Much to Harry's delight the ball began to float off his hand and spin wildly in the air. The now familiar scene of James and Lily's wedding appeared before him, filling the entire room.

Harry watched with tear filled eyes from his bed as his parents waved to their unseen guests. They looked so young and healthy and beautiful… it was almost too much for him to take in. The couple soon began to dance around the floor, their first together as man and wife. Harry smiled as he watched his father dip his mother dramatically and place a kiss on her lips, and was saddened when the image soon began to fade.

It was then that Harry noticed that he was not alone.

* * *

Remus smile waned as the holographic image of James and Lily disappeared from Harry's room. The black ball slowly spun to a halt and landed on Harry's bed. He hadn't meant to walk in on Harry as he was watching his parents wedding video, but Remus had grown concerned when Harry hadn't responded to his knock. 

Seeing the surprised look on Harry's face now watching him carefully from his bed, he raised his hands in defense and said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you…"

"It's alright," said Harry with a shrug, returning the holographic recorder to his parents' box of things. "I was done anyway."

Remus curiously asked, "How did you get it to work without your wand?"

"I don't know… I just did…" Harry replied nonchalantly.

Remus then watched patiently as Harry neatly placed the box on a shelf above his clothing in the closet, and turned back to him.

"Did you need me for something?" Harry asked politely.

"Yeah, you haven't come down to breakfast yet today and I wanted to come get you for one of our sessions…" Remus said softly, folding his arms over his chest. It was sometimes awkward being Harry's guardian _and_ his therapist, but he did his best to keep those two roles separate and respected Harry's feelings on the entire matter.

"Oh," he replied, looking very surprised.

Remus was suddenly feeling like he has just sprung the whole thing on him, even though he had told Harry that they would be talking about everything that happened soon. "Is that okay, Harry? We can wait until a little later today if your busy doing something."

"Do I have to talk to you _today_ about this stuff?" Harry asked quietly.

"I'm afraid so. I don't want to put it off any longer. You and I both know you need to do this," Remus said firmly. There were some things Harry was just going to have to do whether he liked it or not in order for him to heal emotionally.

Harry sighed and nodded reluctantly. "Alright, let's get this over with."

Remus smiled reassuringly. "Okay. I'll give you a moment to change out of your pajamas and I'll meet you downstairs."

Harry looked at him strangely and then down at the clothes he was wearing. He smiled sheepishly. "I forgot to change this morning."

"I see that," Remus said with a smile. "Do you want to shower first?"

"Nah, I wanna go for a swim later. I'll shower after," Harry replied.

Remus nodded and left the teenager to change. He quickly went down to the kitchen and began preparing French Toast for breakfast. Harry showed up a few minutes later and took a seat at the kitchen table and waited patiently for his morning meal. Remus dished them both up plates, smothered it in maple syrup, and sat down across from Harry, helping himself.

"Where's Sirius?" asked Harry, picking at his French Toast.

"Out for a bit of a run…" Remus replied with a smile.

"Like jogging?" Harry asked curiously, having never known Sirius to be much of an athlete.

"Nope. Just running about… chasing birds… you know; that kind of stuff."

"You mean as Padfoot? Oh Merlin…" said Harry chuckling to himself. "Whatever prompted him to do a thing like that?"

"I don't know. He seems like being a dog once in a while. And he was keen on giving us some time to talk this morning," replied Remus, taking a sip of coffee.

"Oh."

"So what do you want to talk about?" Remus pushed.

Harry looked up at him incredulously and asked, "What? Now? Over breakfast?"

Remus shrugged indifferently. "Sure, why not…"

Harry pushed his food about his plate as he replied, "I don't know… it just seems weird. We've always talked in the living room and you took notes."

"I thought I'd try a less formal approach today. If you don't want to we can go back to whatever you feel most comfortable," said Remus. The last thing he wanted to do was to change their normal routine if it was going to make Harry feel anxious.

"No… this is okay, I guess…" replied Harry.

Remus nodded and waited. He had already asked Harry what he wanted to talk about and he wasn't going to ask again until he was ready. Knowing Harry as well as he did, if he waited long enough Harry usually chose the direction he wanted the discussion to take.

After finishing only half of his breakfast Harry put his fork down, leaned back, and sighed tiredly. "I've been having nightmares again…"

"About your uncle?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me about them…" said Remus, pushing his plate away so that he can lean his arms on the table.

"It's the same as always… my uncle is coming after me and I can't get away…" Harry muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"It sounds frightening…"

Harry nodded. "It is."

"How have you handled the nightmares so far?"

"Well, I tried writing in my journal-"

"That's good!" said Remus proudly, not realizing what he had interrupted.

"But it didn't help at the time… and I did something that I probably shouldn't have …" Harry said somewhat reluctantly. He cast his eyes downward and the guilt was clearly written all over his face.

Remus felt his heart stop momentarily. Harry couldn't possibly mean what he thought he meant, did he?. "Show me your arms," he demanded.

Harry nodded and held up both arms over the kitchen table so that Remus could see his under arms. He took each of Harry's arms in his hands and studied them carefully, looking for any sign of a new injury among the numerous scars. After searching thoroughly Remus noted a few tiny scratches on the inside of his left arm. They were barely noticeable and quite superficial.

"How did you do this?"

"With my nail…"

Remus looked up at him thoroughly appalled. "You did what?"

"After a nightmare yesterday morning I scratched myself with my own nail… I tried to hold off but it was just too hard… I stopped myself before I could go any further if it makes you feel any better…"

Remus took a deep breath to calm himself and closed his eyes feeling an enormous amount of anxiety coming on. He worried about Harry endlessly and knowing that he had purposely hurt himself again made Remus feel like a failure as a guardian and as a therapist. He should have seen this coming. He should have encouraged Harry to speak to him sooner. He thought that he had been playing it safe when he locked up all the sharp objects in the house and took Harry's wand away.

"Um… Remus, you're kind of hurting me…" Harry said softly.

Remus looked down and noticed that he was holding Harry's wrists a little too tightly. He quickly let go and said, "I'm so sorry, Harry…"

Harry nodded and said, "It's alright, you didn't realize."

But it didn't make Remus feel any better. He couldn't help but notice the way Harry was rubbing his now sore wrists.

"Why didn't you come to me when you felt the need to cut? I could have helped you," he chided.

Harry looked quite upset about trying to harm himself again. "I know, but I didn't think of that at the time…"

"Harry, it's important that you trust me with these things."

"I know… "

"How often do you feel the need to cut?"

Several seconds passed before Harry finally answered. "All the time now…" Harry admitted.

Remus felt as if a great weight had been placed on his shoulders. This was much worse than he had originally thought. If Harry felt the need to cut all the time there was no telling what harm he could do to himself in the future.

"But you don't have to worry. I'm not going to cut myself ever again," he said quickly.

"Harry, I know you might think like that but the reality is that you have an addiction, one in which you have a difficult time suppressing…"

"Remus, I'm not going to cut again. I promise you. It's not worth it. I never feel any better and I hate what it does to you and Draco. I'm not going to do it… no matter how bad it gets… I even wrote about it in my journal. I can show you if you want…" Harry began to ramble anxiously.

Remus smiled reassuringly. "No, that's alright. I believe that this is how you really feel…"

Remus certainly wanted to believe him the way Harry talked about not cutting again, but it was better not to. As a therapist he had to treat Harry as someone who was always potentially at risk to hurt himself.

"I'm not going to let this get the better of me Remus, I promise you. I just have to keep busy."

"What do you mean keep busy?" he asked, suspecting that he already knew the answer. Harry had suddenly become very studious last year after his experience in Limbo and Remus knew it was his way of distracting himself from whatever was plaguing him.

"As long as I'm busy and moving around I can't think about all of that stuff and I won't have to cut," said Harry.

"I see… and does that work for you?" Remus asked curiously.

"For the most part, yeah…" he said, looking a little more comfortable with the conversation now.

"What kind of things are you planning to do to keep busy?"

"Oh, I don't know… study, go see my friends, play Quidditch, go swimming…"

Remus smiled at him once more. "Those are all really healthy alternatives… might I suggest still using your journal as well."

Harry nodded. "I do that anyway."

"And what happens when you finally stop moving? When you have nothing to keep you busy? What do you think about?"

Harry sighed and said, "My uncle… stuff he did to me…"

"Do you think about that stuff more now because of what happened when you encountered him in London?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I just can't seem to get over it… but I will. I'm not going to let him still control my life even when I no longer have to live with him."

"That's a pretty positive attitude. You've come a long way, Harry," said Remus.

And it was the truth. He couldn't imagine Harry having such a way of looking at things a year ago. Remus wanted to believe that the healing process would be much faster because of the endless amount of support Harry had. It wasn't that he never had that support; it was just that he was more willing to embrace it now than ever before.

"I know," he said with a smile. "I'm determined to put all of that behind me. I've got a lot to live for."

"That you do…" Remus said wistfully, thinking of the life that Harry and Draco might build together if they were given half a chance.

They were both quiet for a moment as there was a lull in the conversation.

"You mentioned having nightmares and thinking about the things your uncle did to you… do you need to use your pensieve to rid yourself of any more of those memories?" he asked. Harry couldn't activate his pensieve without the use of a wand, and Remus wanted to be sure that Harry understood he could ask for help if he needed it.

Harry looked thoughtful for a moment and finally said, "No. I think I'll be okay this time. I want to do this without having to use a crutch of some kind."

"Alright, let me know if you want to use it…"

Harry nodded and then said, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What is going to happen to my uncle… you know… after what Sirius did to him?"

"Oh, well… he's …" Remus said, stumbling over his words a bit. He wasn't really surprised by Harry's question. Remus just really did not want to have to tell Harry the truth.

"Just say it," Harry said, closing his eyes to brace himself from what he would about to hear.

"The Order has already released him from their custody and returned him to his home. He was healed as much as possible and sent on his way," said Remus, knowing that yesterday Sirius had already explained what he did to Vernon Dursley when he went to headquarters the other night.

"I knew it!" Harry said, his eyes opening once more. "I just knew it…"

"Harry, what did you want to happen? Did you want to press charges?" Remus asked carefully.

"No! Of course not! You know why I wouldn't… it's just that… I don't know…" Harry said, looking thoroughly frustrated.

"You wanted him to somehow pay for what he did to you…" Remus said for him.

"Yeah," Harry replied. "I thought Sirius had really killed him… and even though I was upset, I was also secretly glad… I wouldn't have to be afraid anymore…"

Remus shook his head sadly, knowing just how real Harry's fears were. "But you don't have to be afraid, Harry. You are a very powerful wizard and capable of defending yourself. You proved that when you got away from him again… and if it helps, the Order has placed a restraining charm on Dursley so that he cannot come within a hundred yards of you ever again."

Harry nodded and seemed a little more at ease. "Was he obliviated?"

"No, he remembers _everything_ that happened," Remus replied.

Harry nodded again, taking it all in. "You really think I'm a powerful wizard?"

"Absolutely! I can think of no other student that could have executed a full patronus in their third year. You are more powerful than you know," said Remus, his heart full of pride for this young man in his care.

Harry shrugged uncertainly. "I don't feel very powerful. I'm supposed to fulfill this stupid prophecy with Voldemort by Merlin knows when… and I don't feel the least bit ready. I can't defeat him by _sheer dumb luck_ again!" he said exasperatedly. Without realizing it he had done a perfect imitation of his Transfiguration professor.

"You sound like McGonagall…" Remus said with a chuckle. After having had Minerva as a transfiguration teacher and working with her two separate years, he had gotten to know some of her favorite phrases.

Harry didn't seem to appreciate his comment. "Remus this is serious…" Harry whined when he saw Remus smirk at him. "Serious, not Sirius… ugh… you know what I mean…"

Remus laughed at him again but then quickly wiped the smile off his face so that he could address Harry's concerns properly. "You're right, you're right… what do you want to do about it? How will you feel more prepared?" Remus asked.

"Can I start training more actively now that I've come of age? Most of the defensive spells I know only in theory. I haven't really had a chance to test them out yet. There's a lot I want to try from those advanced DADA texts you gave me and the others… but I'll need my wand."

Apparently Harry had already given this a lot of consideration. Remus was thoughtful for a moment. "I'm not so sure Harry… I'm worried about relinquishing your wand to you again…"

"I'm not going to use it to transfigure something to cut my arms up with, if that is what you're thinking…" Harry quickly replied.

"I want to believe you, but I don't know…" he replied honestly. If Harry had another nightmare, and it was easy to assume that he would, Remus didn't want him having the power to inflict harm onto himself if he lost control again.

"What if… what if you only give me my wand when I'm practicing spells and I hand it back over to you when I'm done?" Harry proposed.

That certainly sounded reasonable to Remus and it would help alleviate some of his fears. "I'm willing to do that. You would find this arrangement acceptable?"

Harry nodded, obviously hopeful of using his wand once again. He had only just been given the right to use his wand whenever he wanted, only to have to taken away just as quickly.

"As for you training… what to do propose we should do?" Remus asked. Dumbledore had always planned on Harry receiving some kind of formal training to prepare for the war, but with everything else going on the training had gotten pushed aside until Harry was emotionally and mentally ready.

"Well, me and Ron and Draco- and I guess Ginny too- have been mainly researching possible defensive spells we could use. Ron and Draco have had some practice on Elmer, but I haven't been able to do much of anything," said Harry.

"Elmer?"

"Our practice dummy."

"Oh that's right…" said Remus, remembering the dummy he had seen dressed up in colorful beach wear at Harry's surprise party. It was a wonderful idea the children had come up with and Remus was curious to see how the dummy could be used to practice dueling. It might be something he would want to include in his teaching next year.

"What about Hermione? Won't she want to be involved in this training as well?"

"I suppose but she has been busy with her parents. But I think she might be staying with the Weasleys while her parents are on holiday soon…" Harry drifted off thinking.

"So what do you want to do?" Remus asked, to get Harry back on track.

"So I was thinking… since you're our DADA professor anyway and Sirius can't do anything for the Order because he's on probation… maybe you two could start tutoring us here at the cabin?" Harry asked hopefully. "Up until now we've worked at headquarters, but it's hard to concentrate with so many people coming and going."

"Have you asked the others about this?"

"Not really, but I know they would be open to the idea."

Remus was certainly open to the idea, but he wanted to check on a few things first. "Alright. I'll talk to Sirius about it and we'll figure out some sort of practice schedule. In the mean time you should contact your friends about this and find a way to floo Elmer over here so that you lot can practice some of the nastier spells on the dummy."

"Really? You're going to train us?"

"Really," said Remus, with a smile.

"This is great, Remus! We're finally going to get some real training! Thank you so much!" Harry said enthusiastically.

He chuckled at Harry's behavior. "You're certainly welcome… but keep in mind that training must not get in the way of your studies for school or our sessions. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, of course," he replied.

"Anything else you want to talk about it?"

Harry quickly shook his head. "No, but can I ask a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Can I work on wandless magic in my training?"

Remus pondered his question for a moment. "I suppose, but it is quite difficult to do."

"I know, but I want to give it a try."

"Then I don't see why not," he replied, remembering the way that Harry had activated the holographic recorder this morning without the use of a wand.

"This is great! Can I go write to my friends now?" Harry asked.

"Sure, go on…" said Remus.

Harry gave Remus a quick hug, let out of whoop, and tore up the stairs to his room. Seeing Harry so confident and enthusiastic made Remus believe that Harry was going to be okay this time. It might be a long road, but he was definitely going to be okay.

Smiling more than he could remember doing in a long time, Remus set about cleaning up the kitchen.

* * *

Draco wandered about the Order's headquarters later that evening rather listlessly, feeling more bored than he could ever remember. He had been feeling a bit melancholy ever since he left Harry yesterday, and it was taking every fiber of his being not to go rushing over there again today and scoop him up in his arms and make sure that he was really okay. 

Although Harry had never said anything about it, Draco had seen the fresh tiny scratches on the inside of his arms. He was positive that they were new, but they certainly weren't life threatening so Draco didn't say anything about it. He didn't want to ruin the happiness that shone in Harry's eyes as they frolicked about in the lake. It would seem like a shame to ruin their fun with unwanted questions about a habit Harry was trying desperately to break. Draco had felt sad and somewhat angry that Harry continued to do this to himself, but he hid those emotions for the sake of the one that he loved. Didn't Harry know he could tell him anything? That he would never judge him?

Draco couldn't imagine losing Harry. He had almost lost him once, maybe twice now, and he knew without a doubt that he would die as well if Harry ever passed on from this plane of being. Harry was his life line and Draco wasn't sure how to function anymore without him.

"_Merlin, how did I ever get this bad? "_ Draco thought.

Walking across the hallway towards the stairs, Draco heard a dreadful cough behind a closed bedroom door. He paused for a moment wondering who might be ill. He heard it again and knocked on the door. "Are you alright in there?" he asked, not knowing who was on the other side.

"I'm alright dear, but thanks for checking," he heard Mrs. Weasley, coughing once again.

This was odd. Draco couldn't ever remember Mrs. Weasley ever being sick in all the time he had known her.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes, dear, you run along now," she replied, in a falsely sweet sounding voice.

Draco was feeling troubled by Mrs. Weasley's illness. He wished he could do something for her after all the times she had cared for him, but he respected her wishes and left her alone.

Feeling even more dejected than before, he wandered down to the drawing room and curled up with a Potion's book. Ron and Ginny were no where to be found so he wouldn't be disturbed while reading.

Jinx, ever mindful of where her master was, soon came running into the room and curled up beside him. The sight of her tiny furry body warmed his heart slightly, and he reached down to pet her while he was perusing the text in front of him.

He was only reading for a short while when Harry's owl, Hedwig, came flying up to the window. He leapt from the couch and quickly opened it so that she could enter. The snowy white owl flew to the back of the chair and tiredly raised her leg to hand Draco the letter she carried.

Draco took the letter from her, unrolled it and read:

_Hey Draco,_

_It's me. Just wanted to thank you for spending time with me yesterday. You always seem to know when I need you. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that Remus has agreed to start training all of us in defensive magic so that we'll prepared for the war. Isn't that great? He's going to make up a schedule or something and get back to us. Let Ron, Ginny, and Hermione know that you'll all start coming to the cabin for defensive training. And we have to somehow get Elmer here too. I hope I can see you again soon. Take care of Hedwig for me and make sure she has had a good rest before sending her home. She's been out all day delivering messages for me. Thanks for everything._

_All my love,_

_Harry_

Draco smiled as he read his beloved's words. Well, at least now he had something to look forward to this summer and a guarantee that he would be seeing Harry fairly often. He had no way of knowing how much they were going to need this training in the coming month.

* * *

A/N: Well, what did you think? Not my best writing, but it is what it is. There was a little foreshadowing thrown in at the end, but otherwise a pretty peaceful chapter. I know, I know… not enough Draco, right? Don't worry, I promise he will have more prominence in the story rather soon. 

A/N2: I'm sure you all noticed that this chapter was much shorter than usual. I don't have writer's block, if that is what you're thinking, but I do have some good news and I've got bad news. Which one do you want first? Well…the bad news is that for the next six chapters or so you might notice that the chapter lengths are going to be much shorter. This is so I can move the story's time line along and add the crucial details to the plot that I will need later in the story. The good news is that as a result I should be able to update more quickly, taking into consideration that I'm also writing another fan fic (as well as taking graduate classes this summer).

**Many thanks to all my readers and reviewers!**


	16. Under the Weather

**Chapter 16- Under the Weather**

Ron paced back in forth in front of the fireplace in the living room of Black Manor, anxiously waiting for Hermione's arrival. She had spent most of the summer with her parents again, seeing how they missed their daughter so much while she was at school. But had decided to come and stay at the Order's headquarters for the last few weeks of August while her parents went to several dentist conventions overseas.

"_Where could she be?"_ Ron thought helplessly.

Hermione had been scheduled to Floo over from Hogwarts fifteen minutes ago and he was beginning to wonder if something had happened to her. Because of the strict security protocol, only Hogwarts and Villa de Luna were allowed floo connections to the Order's headquarters. And they didn't want her father driving up to the front of the house, giving away the location. So Hermione had had to Apparate to the village of Hogsmeade, walk the long path up to Hogwarts, and then floo to headquarters from there. She was supposed to have member of the Order escorting her, but Ron worried that something had happened and that they were ambushed. Any number of things could have happened to her by now.

Just when Ron thought he was going to go crazy with worry, brilliant green flames suddenly appeared in the fireplace and the swirling image of Hermione Granger soon appeared.

"Hermione!" Ron shouted gleefully, as his girlfriend stepped out of the hearth.

"Hi, Ron," she said with a smile. "It's good to see you."

Ron was about to scoop her up in his arms and express how much he had missed here when he noticed a ball of orange fur squirming in her hands to get free.

"Alright, Crookshanks, settle down," Hermione scolded her bandy legged cat.

Crookshanks quickly leapt from to the floor with an indignant meow. He then shook his fur out thoroughly and then systematically bathing every inch of himself to get rid of the soot from the travel here.

"I must look like a frightful mess," she commented, noticing the way her cat was now grooming itself. She began to dust some of the soot off her own clothing, but found that she wasn't having any luck getting it off.

"Here, let me help you with that," Ron said softly. Hermione had only used the floo connection a few times since discovering she was a witch so not surprisingly she wasn't as savvy about it all as he was. Ron pulled his wand from his pocket and performed the cleansing charm his mum always used on him after they floo traveled.

"Thanks," Hermione said softly, leaning forward to give Ron a kiss.

Relishing the touch of her lips against his own, Ron wrapped his arms around his girlfriend, pulling her closer to him. They had just seen each other a few days ago for Harry's birthday, but it felt as if weeks had gone by. He had missed her terribly this summer, and he was looking forward to the time they were going to get to share together before they returned to school in the autumn.

They kissed passionately for a long while, but with a house full of people it wouldn't be long before they were interrupted. Ron reluctantly pulled back and took a good long look at her, smiling. Hermione looked even more beautiful than the last time Ron had seen her. She had started doing something new with her hair, so it was no longer the frizzy brown style she normally wore. Now her hair was much sleeker, and it framed her face with soft brown curls. She was wearing a white tank top and a cute pair of blue shorts because of the summer heat, and Ron couldn't help but notice how it accentuated her body. All Ron wanted to do right now is whisk her away to some place private where they could snog properly, but he knew that with people coming in and out all day long, that was going to be difficult.

Brushing her hair lovingly away from her face Ron said, "I've missed you… what took you so long?"

Hermione smiled up at him. "I had a bit of a delay. Snape wasn't too happy about having to escort me," replied Hermione. "He insisted on stopping into the apothecary in Hogsmeade to replenish some of his supplies so that the trip wasn't an entire waste."

"You had to be escorted by _Snape_? That had to be fun," he muttered, not really wanting to think about his girlfriend having to be around that overgrown bat all alone.

"He's not that bad, you know," she argued. "I got a chance to look around and we were in and out of the apothecary within a few minutes."

As much as he wanted to hate their Potions professor, Ron couldn't help but nod in understanding. In all honestly, Snape had been a lot less nasty to them since they had taken his godson, Draco, in and the greasy git seemed to soften up a bit on Harry once he learned about his horrific past.

"Hey, where's your stuff?" Ron suddenly asked, looking over Hermione's head towards the fireplace for her trunk.

"I shrunk it, of course, and placed it in my pocket for safe keeping. Am I witch or not?" she asked playfully, as she pulled her miniaturized trunk out of her pocket to show her boyfriend.

Ron smiled sheepishly. "I can never remember that one. Too many years of lugging my own trunk around to think of it. Creature of habit, I guess. Do you want to get settled in?" he asked.

"No that's alright, I want to talk to you about a few things first…" she said softly, re-pocketing her trunk.

Ron knew without asking what she wanted to talk about so he led her by the hand to one of the couches and sat down beside her. It was then that they noticed Crookshanks had stopped bathing himself and had begun investigating the living room, sniffing all the furniture and checking each of the corners.

"I wonder where he's off too…" said Hermione, watching as Crookshanks suddenly darted from the room and out into the hallway.

"Probably off to go find Jinx. The last time he was here, they ended up chasing each other all over the house," Ron replied, remembering the mess they had caused in their wake.

"You're probably right. I hope that don't get into too much mischief."

Before they could begin their conversation, they heard a surprised shriek from the adjacent hallway as two blurs of fur ran past the doorway. "Oh my!"

"Mum? Is that you?" Ron called.

"Yes, dear… Something furry just ran straight through my legs!" his mother responded as she peeked her head around the doorway. Seeing the couple sitting together, she stepped forward into the room to greet them. "Oh, I see Hermione is here now. That must have been her cat that just gave me such a fright."

"Sorry, about that Mrs. Weasley. Crookshanks and Jinx were just playing," Hermione apologized.

She smiled and pushed a stray hair out of her tired face. "That's alright. No harm done. Come give me a hug, love," his mum said. "It's good to see you again."

Ron watched as Hermione stood up and hugged Molly affectionately. Stepping back Hermione noticed the circles under his mother's eyes and her rather pale complexion. "Are you feeling alright, Mrs. Weasley?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm fine dear. Just a little under the weather," his mother answered. Seeing the concerned look on both their faces she added, "Really… I'm fine. Nothing to worry about… I'll see you to later. Ronnie, make sure Hermione gets a chance to settle in."

"Okay, Mum," said Ron, starting to worry more and more about his mother's ailing health.

They watched as she walked slowly out of the room and made her way upstairs. "What's wrong with your mum?" Hermione quickly asked.

Ron shrugged uncertainly. "Don't know. She won't say for some reason. I think she has a cold or something, but she feels like she has to hide the fact that she's ill from the rest of us."

"Why?"

Ron thought about it for a moment and said, "I think she feels that she has to remain strong for us. I'm not really sure why. She's just always been like that."

"Well, it doesn't look too serious. I hope she feels better soon," Hermione commented.

"Me too."

"So how's Harry?" she asked.

Ron sighed, knowing that Hermione would eventually ask him this question. He had owled her about what happened to Harry in London and what he had done to himself afterwards. She had been utterly mortified and had been owling him ever since asking about their friend. She was afraid that if she owled Harry directly, he would only push her way or get upset at her for prying.

"I don't really know. The last time I saw him was at his birthday party," he replied. "Only Draco, Sirius, and Remus have seen him since then."

"What does Draco say about all of this?"

Ron was thoughtful for a moment before he said, "Draco saw him the day before yesterday and he said that Harry seemed to be doing surprisingly well given the circumstances."

"But is he going to be okay?" she asked.

"I think so…" Ron said carefully, wondering the exact same thing himself.

"I still can't believe Harry ran into his uncle in London! What are the odds of that happening? And how could he do those things to poor Harry? How could anyone ever do that to another human being!" said Hermione, getting more and more emotional with each passing second. Her eyes became glassy and she dabbed at the corners with the tips of her fingers and took deep breath.

Ron knew she was trying not to cry. He pulled her close and made some shushing sounds to calm her. "I don't know Hermione, I don't know… but at least Sirius made the bastard pay for what he's done to Harry," he reasoned.

"I guess… I really wish he would have thought things through first… what if his uncle had died? Sirius could have gone to Azkaban again!"

Ron couldn't deny that Sirius's actions had been rather rash, but he probably would've done the same thing himself if he had been given half a chance. "It's over now. Try not to dwell on it."

"I'm just so worried about him, Ron. He's been through so much. I couldn't bear it if he tried something drastic again," she said, growing tearful.

"I know, I feel the same way. But we are all going to help him through this. The way Draco talks, Harry's practically back to normal," he said giving her a squeeze. "They went swimming in the lake and Harry was actually smiling and everything. I don't think its going to be as bad as last time."

Hermione nodded and wiped her tears away. "I hope so, but I know better than to assume Harry is alright just because he seems 'back to normal.' When can we go see him?"

"Later today if you want. Remus and Sirius agreed to start training all of us and they want us to go over there later to get a handle on our individual skill levels."

"As worried as I am about Harry, this is very exciting! You mentioned in your owl yesterday that Sirius and Remus had agreed to help us, but I didn't expect it all to happen so fast."

"Neither did I," said Ron.

"I'm so relieved that we're finally going to be able to start training for real. I've been doing a lot of reading and I think I might have some ideas."

"I wouldn't expect anything less," he replied, giving her shoulder a playful nudge.

Hermione made a face at him and said. "I'm not the only one who takes studying seriously. Harry has been reading just as much theory on defensive magic as I have."

"Yeah and we know why too," Ron retorted.

Hermione nodded sadly, thinking about their friend. Hermione and Ron knew very well that the reason Harry had become so studious last year was because of his need to remain busy at all times. It was his way of coping with all the awful memories from his experience in Limbo and to deal with the strange dreams that had begun to plague him.

Seeing the now pensieve look on Hermione's face Ron asked, "What are you thinking?"

Hermione sighed. "I don't know… It's just that we haven't seen Harry since his trip to London... I'm worried that he'll act differently around us or something. Do you think he'll even talk to us about what happened to him?"

"I don't know. I'm not good with those kinds of things. You could try though…if you can get him away from Draco long enough," Ron said with a smirk.

Hermione made a soft humming sound as she thought about what Ron said. "How is Draco anyway?"

"Draco? What do you mean?" he asked, looking at her with a confused expression on his face.

"This all has to be pretty hard on him… you know, worrying about Harry and everything…" Hermione said patiently.

Ron shrugged and said, "I don't know… he seems fine to me… doesn't really say much…"

Hermione gave him a leveling look. "Sometimes it's the things that people don't say that should worry you the most, Ron. Draco has had a hard life. He deserves more consideration than that…"

"I'm perfectly nice to him now… we haven't gotten into it in ages…" Ron argued, feeling very put out that Hermione was scolding him on how to handle Malfoy.

"I'm sure you haven't, but have you ever stopped to ask him how he's feeling? Have you asked him if he's worried about Harry? Or if he feels uncomfortable hanging around with us all the time? He never sees his own friends… that's gotta be hard," Hermione pointed out.

"Draco doesn't have friends!" Ron retorted. "All his Slytherin buddies abandoned him!"

"He does to have friends! What about Blaise?"

Ron rolled his eyes. "Okay he has one friend, you got me there… but Draco never talks about the bloke so he's easy to forget about."

"My point is that you should be more considerate of his feelings. He must feel so alone living here," Hermione said sadly.

"Alone? Did you happen to notice how many people are in and out of here everyday?" Ron asked, looking at her like she's mental.

"Ronald, someone could be standing in a crowded room and feel out of place and alone. It must be hard for him trying to fit in here, especially because we're in the Order's headquarters. It goes against everything he learned as a child… Don't you think some small part of him misses his family in some way? I'm mean… definitely not his father… but I'm sure he is still worried about his mother…"

Ron certainly had not expected her to say that. "His mother? What about her? She's been missing since that battle in Dartmouth!"

"Exactly… don't you think the fact his mother is still missing bothers him? What if your mother was missing, heaven forbid, how would you feel?"

Ron felt an icy chill go down his back. He didn't want to think about any of that. "I never really thought about it before… I guess he might be upset…but I didn't really think he even liked her all that much…"

"Just try to talk to him..." Hermione encouraged.

"Me? Why me?" Ron asked incredulously. "You're the touchy feely one, not me!"

"I know… trust me, I know. But you're practically brothers…he might open up to you."

Ron was about to say something nasty to retort that comment, but felt that he really didn't have the heart. Malfoy really had become a member of the family in some strange way and he had been undyingly faithful and devoted to Harry. All round Malfoy had turned out to be an alright fellow despite the fact he could be a git sometimes.

"I'll try…" Ron said reluctantly.

"Good," replied Hermione, kissing him squarely on the forehead. "Do you feel up to some studying?"

"Hermione, you just got here…" Ron whined. "I had other things on my mind than studying."

"I'm sure you did," Hermione said with a chuckle. "But I know for a fact that you've hardly done any school work since you left Hogwarts."

"That's not true!"

"Ron?" Hermione questioned him knowingly.

"Alright so it is true, big deal. You know how hard school is for me," he said, feeling rather embarrassed about it all. No matter how hard he tried, his schoolwork never seemed to come easy to him.

Hermione rubbed his arm gently and said, "Yes, I do, which is precisely why I'm going to help you. We're going to cover some of the books Remus has assigned for DADA next year."

"Do we have to do it right now?" he complained.

"Yes. If Remus and Sirius are going to be checking our skill levels I want to be ready… don't you?"

"I guess…" Ron said sadly. He had really been hoping to snog Hermione instead of studying with her.

"Listen, I promise that there will be a nice reward if we get some studying done first," said Hermione, with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"What kind of a reward?"

"A good one…" Hermione said, somewhat seductively as she kissed him again on the lips.

"I'll go get my books!" said Ron, leaping off the couch. "I'll be right back."

Hermione could only shake her head and laugh in reply.

* * *

Draco had been in the middle of reading a fascinating account of the use of potions throughout history when Ron came barreling into the bedroom they shared, startling him greatly. 

"Ah! What the hell is your problem!" Draco shrieked as he grabbed his chest in a vain attempt to calm his now racing heartbeat. He scowled at the red head, feeling a little foolish that Ron had unsettled him so.

Ron grabbed some books from his bed and turned to face Draco. "Sorry! Just came to get some books… Hermione promised…" he began and his face turned bright red. "Er… never mind… I'll just be on my way."

Draco just shook his head in annoyance and tried to turn back to the book he had been reading. Finding his thoughts to be rather distracted, he decided that a change of scenery might help him to concentrate. Still feeling quite melancholy and anxious to see Harry later, Draco decided to take his book outside to the swing in the garden for a bit of fresh air.

Stepping in the hallway, however, he noticed Mrs. Weasley leaning heavily against the wall trying to catch her breath. She looked quite sickly, more so than yesterday, and Draco felt himself grow concerned about her health. Glancing around, he noticed that Ron was no where in sight. In his mad dash to get his books and be with Hermione, he probably hadn't even noticed his mother standing in the hallway or the state she was in.

Approaching her cautiously, Draco said, "Mrs. Weasley, are you alright?"

She looked up at the blond and seemed startled to see him standing in front of her. "What's that? Oh yes… I'm fine. Just a bit out of breath from climbing those stairs. I'll be alrigh-" but she was unable to complete her sentence because of the coughing fit that overcame her.

Draco watched helplessly as the cough completely overcame her. From the sound of it she had a lot of congestion in her chest. He hated seeing her this way. She had always been so strong, so dependable. It hurt to think about her feeling weak or in pain. Draco had come to rely on Mrs. Weasley so much for her unconditional support and love this last year that he couldn't imagine her not being in his life.

"You don't sound alright… I think maybe you should go to bed," Draco said softly.

"Nonsense…" she said, trying to clear her throat. "I'll be fine. Besides I have things to do."

"You really should go to bed," he insisted.

"I appreciate your concern, but I can't. I have things to do. This house would fall apart if it weren't for me…" she said hoarsely.

And it was true. Everyone depended on her to be strong… to be there… ready with a hot meal or a potion to help you sleep… ready to hear your problems… ready to fight for the Order if necessary… ready for just about anything they called upon her to do. No one else worked as tirelessly or with as much love as she did.

Molly Weasley was the glue that held them all together.

"But you're sick," said Draco, looking at her sadly. Couldn't this poor woman take at least one day off?

She shook her head emphatically. "I'm not sick. I can't afford to be sick… not now… not when there is so much to do…"

"Can I at least help you then?" Draco asked, realizing she wasn't going to listen to his pleas for her to get some rest.

She tried to say no but another coughing fit overcame her. Once it passed, she took a deep breath to calm her rattling chest, and said, "Alright, follow me."

Draco nodded and set his book on a table in the hallway. He watched as Mrs. Weasley pushed off the wall tiredly and began moving down the hallway to furthest bedroom. He followed closely, hoping that she wasn't going where he thought she was.

"Er… what are we doing?" he asked cautiously, knowing exactly what was kept in the last bedroom on this floor.

Unlocking the door she turned to him and said, "Feeding Buckbeak. I somehow forgot to do it this morning and he's bound to be hungry…"

"Buckbeak?" Draco whispered, feeling all of his old fears come rushing back. Despite what anyone said, he had been badly injured when he failed to greet the large beast properly.

Realization dawned on Mrs. Weasley's face and she said, "Oh Draco… I forgot… Ron told me about what happened in third year. You can wait out here if you want."

Draco gulped audibly and said, "No… that's alright. I said I would help."

She smiled and then opened the door leading him. He instantly felt his heartbeat quicken as his anxiety set in. He knew the woman he was with would never let him come to harm, but he was somewhat afraid nonetheless. The great beast was even larger than he remembered it. The sunlight streaming through the windows glinted off his silver feathers making Buckbeak seem much larger and more powerful then Draco ever remembered.

As soon as Draco was in sight of it the hippogriff began eyeing him carefully as if he remembered their first encounter so many years ago. Not wanting to make the same mistake as he did before, he bowed deeply alongside Mrs. Weasley and stood upright again waiting to see what happened.

Much to his relief Buckbeak returned their bows and flapped his wings anxiously for his meal.

"Look there…I think he likes you…" said Mrs. Weasley, her voice sounding rather weak.

Draco gave her a nervous grin and said. "Can we feed him and get out of here? He might act like he likes me now, but I don't really want to push my luck…"

She gave a tired laugh and said, "There are some ferrets hanging on the wall there. They have a preserving charm on them so don't feel squeamish about touching them. Just toss a few up so Beaky can catch him and we'll be on our way."

Draco nodded and moved to the far wall never taking his eyes off the huge beast. He retrieved the ferrets that hung there and tossed them up like instructed. To his utter amazement and delight Buckbeak caught them right out of the air in his mouth. Draco tossed up a few more for good measure until it appeared that he had had his fill. To make the moment even more memorable the Hippogriff bowed to him again in thanks. Draco returned the gesture and then looked to Mrs. Weasley who was smiling at him proudly.

"Do you want to pet him?" she asked, reaching out to stroke Buckbeak's feathers.

"Er… no… that's alright. I have had enough for one day," he replied.

It felt good to overcome one of his fears and make amends with the creature he offended so long ago, but he was still feeling rather anxious. Despite the positive encounter his heart was still beating like mad.

"Well, alright, let's be on our way," she said, as she led them back out into the hall.

As soon as the door was closed, Draco found Mrs. Weasley coughing once again, leaning against the wall for support.

"You're really sick. You should be in bed…"

"I told you before, I'm fine. I can't be sick. I have things to do…" she tried to say, coughing as she did.

Draco shook is head in frustration. "You are going to bed and I don't want you arguing with me. I know you think that you have important things to do, but there is nothing more important right now then your health. Everyone can get along just fine today while you have a bit of rest!"

Mrs. Weasley stared at him wide eyed and finally nodded, realizing that it was probably no use arguing with him. Nobody had probably ever talked to her like that before and she seemed stunned into silence.

Draco wrapped a supportive arm around her and guided her to her bedroom. He then helped her cross the room and directed her to the bed. She lay down carefully under the covers. For some reason looked quite small and helpless in the big bed, despite her plump size. It was rather unnerving.

Draco wasn't sure what else he should do for her. Sitting down beside her, he soon noticed how uncomfortable she seemed to be about being looked after like this. Apparently she was the one who did the looking after and to have the roles reversed on her must have been disconcerting. He smiled at her warmly and patted her hand to reassure her as another coughing fit took hold. He noticed once it had passed the way she seemed to be shivering and he pulled the covers up to her chin. Sensing that she probably had a fever as well, he reached out to feel her forehead and noticed that she was warm. The symptoms could mean any number of things so he thought it best if he just asked.

"Now tell me what's wrong…" he said firmly.

She sighed and said, "I have wizard's flu. I thought it would pass after a few days, but it's only gotten worse."

Draco thought about everything he had seen her do in the last few days since Harry's party and realized why she had suddenly gotten worse. "You haven't been resting, have you?" he asked. She shook her head no. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

She sighed and looked very lost in the blankets covering her. "It's no big deal. I thought it would pass."

"Are you sure it's just wizard's flu?"

She nodded and said, "I'm positive. I've treated if often enough with my own kids to recognize the symptoms."

Draco had had wizard's flu once as a child and he thought back to how it had been treated and suddenly remembered that there was simple cure, but the potion had to be ingested several days in a row to be effective. "Have you been taking a potion?"

"Of course, only I've run out and I need to make more," she said softy. "I was just too tired today… afraid I might do something wrong as I added the ingredients."

Draco's heart warmed at the idea of finally being able to help her in some small way after all she had done for him. She was the only mother figure he knew now and she had done everything in her power to feel welcomed in her home. Brewing a potion to help her get well was the least he could do.

"Don't worry; I'll brew it for you."

Mrs. Weasley looked surprised at the offer. "You? But I couldn't ask you to do that… do you even know how?"

"I'm in the top of my class in Potions, Mrs. Weasley. I can do it. Trust me," he said, a genuine smile lighting up his face.

"Well, alright," she said looking quite grateful.

Draco was about to leave her to make the potion when he suddenly realized the condition he was leaving her in. She had to be quite uncomfortable with a fever and a cough plaguing her. He wracked his brain trying to think of what he could do to make her more at ease, but found he didn't have a lot of experience to go on.

His own mother had never really taken the time to care for him so he couldn't really draw any knowledge from his experiences with her. Whenever he had been ill as a child a healer had been brought in if the sickness was beyond what the house elves were capable of treating. He could recall however, a few simple charms that might be helpful and he decided to use them now.

Grabbing his wand from his pocket, he first transfigured at glass of water and placed it on the nightstand beside her. Next he transfigured a cloth from a pillow and cast a cooling charm over it and placed it gently over her forehead to help ease the fever. And lastly, he used a charm on her chest to help widen her airways so that she could breathe more easily if another coughing fit came on. This had been done to him on more than one occasion when he had a cold and he could always remember the charm for some reason. The potion he would brew would help clear her cough up, but in the meantime the charm would ease her suffering. He could feel Mrs. Weasley's eyes watching him curiously all the while.

Confident that he was leaving her as comfortable as possible, Draco said, "Try to get some rest. I'll be back in a little while with your potion."

She caught his hand as he turned to leave and whispered, "You're such a good boy. Thank you for caring for me."

He smiled at her, feeling an overwhelming sense of love fill him, and then turned away. "_You're such a good boy…"_ Those simple words had nearly been his undoing. All he had ever wanted as a child was to be noticed and loved by his parents and he never felt like he could meet their high expectations. And yet here was this simple woman, who had lovingly taken him in, and those quiet words had meant more to him than anything his own mother had ever said to him.

Oddly enough, his eyes were somewhat tearful as he made is way downstairs, and he felt embarrassed that he had been overcome by such emotion over something so silly. Brushing away the wetness on his face, he rushed down the stairs to the makeshift laboratory his godfather had set up so that he could brew in between Order meetings. He noticed Ron and Hermione speaking to one another in the living room and wondered when she had arrived. On the way down he ran into Ginny coming out of the kitchen.

"Oh hey, Draco," she said cheerfully.

He eyed her warily, wondering how she could be so cheerful when her mother was lying upstairs so ill. But then again she probably had no way of knowing. Mrs. Weasley had hidden it from all of them. "You should know that your mum has wizard's flu. I'm making her a potion that will help get rid of it," he said matter-of-factly.

Ginny's eyes widened in panic. "Mum is sick? I didn't know that. Where is she?"

"Upstairs in her room," he replied.

Without waiting another moment, Ginny tore up the stairs in search of her mother. Draco entered the makeshift laboratory and located a potion's manual that might have the recipe he would need. Locating the potion that cured wizard's flu almost immediately he set up locating the ingredients. Much to his relief he found that everything he needed was already present in the room, lining the walls on several different shelves.

He diligently began adding the ingredients to the cauldron he had set up. It was a simple potion, not requiring a lot of attention, but he worked meticulously nonetheless. He wanted to be sure that he did it right. Mrs. Weasley's health depended on it.

At one point an orange ball of fur, which he assumed to be Hermione's cat Crookshanks, came running through the room in one door and out the other. Then Jinx, his Kneazle, came barreling into the room, moving much faster than Draco had ever seen her move. She leapt onto the table and began searching the room for her elusive playmate when she did not see where he hag gone off to.

"Jinx! Get out of here! You are so annoying!" he shouted, trying to shoo her away from the precious potion he was making.

She gave him a pleading look so he pointed towards the direction that Crookshanks had gone. Without waiting another second Jinx tore off the table after him. Draco could only shake his head in amusement, certain that those two would get into more trouble before long.

After a half an hour, the potion was ready. Draco put out the fire below the cauldron and placed a rapid cooling charm on the brew so that it could be consumed immediately. He bottled up the potion in three different flasks and made his way upstairs to Mrs. Weasley.

The house was oddly quiet now and Draco wondered where everyone was. Climbing the stairs to the second floor he could hear voices coming from Mrs. Weasley's room. He found himself growing frustrated that she wasn't still alone. He had wanted to spend more time nursing her to let her know how much he cared about her, but she probably wanted to spend time with her own children.

Sighing sadly, he knocked on her door before entering. On the other side he found Ginny, Hermione, and Ron all sitting around Mrs. Weasley's bed with concerned looks on their faces.

"Mum… are you sure you're going to be alight? I've never seen you like this before," Ginny asked.

Draco recognized the strained look on Mrs. Weasley's face and knew they were wearing out her patience.

Seeing Draco enter the room with her potions she pleaded, "Tell them I'm fine… that it's just wizard's flu… that I just need to take a potion and get some rest…"

"She does need some rest," said Draco looking around at the others, feeling somewhat uncomfortable," which will be nearly impossible with you lot in here."

"Oh… sorry Mrs. Weasley. We weren't thinking," said Hermione, looking somewhat sheepish. "Is there anything else you need?"

"No, I'm fine. Draco's taken care of me," she replied softly.

Hermione nodded and then looked over at Draco with a smile on her face. "Alright then. Let us know if you need anything. C'mon Ron… Ginny…"

"But…" Ginny and Ron both said, as Hermione grabbed each of their arms and began dragging them towards the door.

"No buts… your mum needs to rest… Draco has it all under control…" she said firmly.

Both Ginny and Ron cast a look at Draco and then at their mother. It seemed as if they looked somewhat ashamed that they hadn't noticed their own mother's illness before him. Ron looked back at Draco again as his girlfriend dragged him out, his blue eyes searching him for some kind of understanding. Before Draco could ponder if further, Hermione had closed the door.

"I have your potion here, Mrs. Weasley," he said, sitting down beside the red haired woman in bed.

"Molly, I told you several times now to call me Molly…" she said softly, as she grabbed the potion from his outstretched hand.

"Okay, Molly…" he said, unable to hide his smile.

He placed the other potions on her nightstand for later and replenished her glass of water with a wave of his wand. Having finished her potion in one gulp, Molly lay back against her pillow and tiredly closed her eyes.

"Thank you, Draco, for being so kind to me," she said, her eyes now heavy with sleep.

"It's no problem… the least I could do after all you've done for me… I can't imagine where I would be right now if you hadn't taken me in," he added softly. "I wish I could repay you…"

She opened her eyes tiredly and reached for his hand. "Nonsense, dear. You're part of the family now. We love you as much as if you were our own son…"

Draco's eyes filled with tears once more. "I love you too…" he said softly, kissing the back of her hand. This was what he had wanted ever since he was a little boy.

She reached out and wiped away his tears and then settled back into her pillows, the potion finally taking a hold of her.

"Get some rest," he said patting her hand. "I'll check on you later."

She murmured a sigh in consent and fell into a deep sleep, already feeling some relief of her symptoms because of the potion in her system. Draco stayed with her a little while longer to make sure that she didn't need anything else before making his way out of the room. Before entering the hallway, however, he schooled his features so that no one would know about his emotional display just moments ago.

He retrieved his book from the table in the hallway and set out for the garden once more. It would still be a couple of hours before they all went over to the cabin to begin their training.

He passed Hermione, Ginny, and Ron talking quietly in the drawing room on his way out, but didn't stop to converse with them. Right now he just wanted to be alone. He entered the garden in the back and made his way to the swing beneath the large maple tree in the far corner of the yard. It was his thinking spot, a place he could come to when he needed a bit of peace and quiet. Sitting in a cool breeze while swaying back and forth was somehow very centering.

He opened up the book he had been reading earlier, found his page, and started reading once more. He hadn't gotten very far into the book, when he felt someone else sit down beside him on the swing, shifting the seat slightly and disrupting his swinging motion. Glancing sideways, Draco saw that it was Ron.

"Are you alright?" Ron asked.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" Draco asked, trying to make his voice sound indignant.

Ron shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. You seem quieter than usual and you haven't made any verbal shots at me lately. Feel like talking about anything?"

"No, I just want to read," he said quietly. Draco secretly appreciated Ron's attempt to reach out to him, but he just wasn't in the mood. Between being worried about Harry and Molly, he was feeling quite emotionally exhausted.

After another few moments of silence, Ron said, "Well, I'll leave you be. Thanks for taking care of our mum…"

Draco found that he couldn't respond to that comment he was so startled by what Ron said. Sensing his discomfort, Ron patted his shoulder and walked away, leaving Draco feeling somewhat bewildered.

Had it only been a slip of the tongue… or had Ron meant it to mean something more?

Draco wasn't sure but in either case the comment from Ron meant more to him than the red head would probably ever know.

* * *

A/N: Well, I don't have much to say for some reason this time around. Let me know what you think of the chapter. 

**Many thanks to all my readers and reviewers!**


	17. Prophecy Revealed

A/N: I don't say it enough, so I will say it again here. Many thanks to my beta, Drae, for all of her hard work throughout this series. I couldn't have done it without her.

**Chapter 17- Prophecy Revealed**

The cool water of Silver Lake had never felt as refreshing as it did today, as Harry swam from one side of the lake to the other. The calmness that overcame him as he glided through the water was something that the small dark haired teen had come to rely on to help him get through each day.

Harry moved almost effortlessly through the water, closely followed by Sirius and Remus. He had overtaken them both just moments before and he was determined to make it back to the dock before them. Considering the fact that he hardly had known how to swim when he began earlier this summer, he moved gracefully through the water like a skilled athlete. His tired muscles began to protest as he pushed himself harder and harder, but he never gave up. He reached his arms farther and farther ahead of him as he kicked his legs determinedly, pulling deep breaths into his lungs in alternating intervals.

Harry had found that although this morning routine had originally been designed to help clear his mind of his worries; it served many other purposes as well. For one, it had become a bonding experience for Harry to exercise with Remus each day. In the beginning Harry had relied on Remus's presence beside him, trusting that if anything were to happen to him because of his inexperience, his guardian would be there to rescue him. But over time, Harry had come to relish these moments together and was grateful when they had decided to include Sirius.

The weeks of swimming nearly every morning had also helped to tone his body, adding a small amount of musculature to his petite frame. Harry could feel himself gradually growing stronger with each passing day. He had also built up his stamina for prolonged vigorous activity, which he concluded that he would need if he were ever caught in the midst of battle… and he inevitably would. Although Quidditch could be physically demanding and was much more entertaining, it required very little of his cardiovascular system. Swimming had become Harry's ultimate workout.

Pulling another large breath into his lungs Harry quickly glanced ahead of him and saw that the blurry image of the dock was drawing near. He could hear Remus and Sirius splashing along beside him now and he knew he was losing his lead. Feeling quite competitive, he pushed himself even harder by kicking his legs powerfully.

When he finally reached the dock, he slapped the wooden post signifying his win. He turned around to see Sirius finish beside him seconds later, closely followed by Remus.

"Ha! I win again!" Harry shouted gleefully, as he bobbed up and down while treading water.

Sirius splashed water at him and said, "Yeah, well, you're a lot younger me… and I'm not used all this swimming just yet… give me a week or so and I'll overtake you easily!"

"In your dreams!" Harry said, laughing freely as he splashed him back.

Remus smiled at their playful banter and climbed the ladder that hung down from the dock, pulling himself onto the wooden planks. He then grabbed towel from the pile they had left there and began drying off. Sirius and Harry did the same; still cheerfully arguing over which of them was the better athlete.

Following Remus's lead, they sat down on the edge of dock with their feet dangling in the cool water as their breathing and heart rates returned to normal. They each leaned back to enjoy the warmth of the summer sun on their skin, as the water droplets rolled off of them and their brightly colored bathing suits slowly began to dry in the heat.

Harry closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh country air, listening to the sounds of the trees swaying in the gentle wind and the sounds of birds chirping nearby. It was times like these that Harry felt truly at peace.

But his peace didn't last long. He suddenly had the horrible sensation that he was being stared at as the hairs on the back of his neck began to rise. At first he figured it was just a chill from the lake, but he was incredibly warm now sitting there. He carefully glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw Sirius staring down at the scars that crisscrossed one of his arms. Sirius's face was expressionless, but his eyes conveyed a sense of sadness.

Harry had decided to forgo having Remus put his glamours on this morning because he no longer felt like he needed to hide it all from Sirius, especially now that he knew everything. Harry didn't like looking at the scars that marred his body either, but sometimes it felt good not to hide behind an illusion.

However, the way Sirius was staring at him now made him realize that not using the glamours might have been a mistake. Although he was sure Sirius meant nothing by it, he felt filthy and disgusting under his godfather's scrutiny. Glancing down at what he had done to himself Harry felt almost sick with the realization of how ugly he looked. What did Draco even see in him?

Unable to stand it any longer, Harry suddenly jumped up, surprising Remus who had been watching the scenery on the other side of the lake, lost in reverie. "What's wrong?" he asked

"Nothing," Harry replied, glancing at Sirius before starting to walk back to the cabin. He could hear Remus and Sirius rising to stand now too, watching him leave.

"Harry, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to stare…" Sirius said softly. Harry was surprised to hear the admission. He turned back again and saw that his godfather looked quite guilty and ashamed of himself. "I just forget sometimes and…" his voice trailed off as he tried to find words to explain.

"It's alright," Harry mumbled, feeling very unsure of himself.

Remus gave Sirius a disgusted look before turning back to Harry. "Are you okay?" Remus asked, studying his face carefully.

"Sure," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm fine."

"You don't have to feel embarrassed about your scars, Harry. Not around us. But if you want I can help you put on some glamours before your friends arrive…" he added, sensing what was troubling Harry now.

He nodded but didn't say anything else.

"I'm sorry, Harry… I don't mean to be so insensitive…" Sirius tried again, walking towards him.

"It's okay…" Harry replied quickly. "I'm going to go in and take a shower now…" He turned away hurriedly before Sirius could reach him and headed towards the cabin, making sure to grab his glasses from where he had left them beside the dock. He knew that Sirius was truly sorry, but he didn't feel like being coddled right now. He needed to remain strong.

He walked determinedly towards the cabin, ignoring Remus and Sirius's calls for him not leave. Pulling open the door, Harry was greeted by darkness inside. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting after being out in the harsh sunlight, and when they finally did he headed upstairs towards the shower.

Before long Harry found himself in a hot shower, scrubbing away the dirty lake water from his skin… scrubbing away at his numerous scars… scrubbing at the pain he felt inside. As much as he had come to accept his scars, they were still reminders of a past he had tried to forget.

It had become easier for Harry not to dwell on his encounter with his uncle over the past week, but he still had occasional nightmares. It hadn't been easy at first, but he could now suppress his need to cut after each ordeal by focusing on other things. But it was times like these that made it hard to forget everything that had ever happened to him.

The need to cut was strong, but Harry wouldn't allow himself to think about that right now. It was simply a matter of control.

_Don't think about it… keep busy…_

He leaned his head against the cool tile and allowed the hot water to wash over him, trying desperately not to think about how Sirius had been staring at what he had done to himself. He truly hated what he had become. Self-mutilation was never anything to be proud of.

Feeling himself slipping into a dark place, he concentrated on something that made him feel happy. His friends. They would be coming over again later today and that always cheered Harry up immensely. With that in mind, he turned off the shower and dried himself off thoroughly with a big fluffy blue towel.

Wrapping the towel around his waist, he sauntered back to his room and sat down heavily on his bed. For a brief moment he glanced down at the scars that were scattered haphazardly across his arms. He traced a few of them with his fingertips, remembering the events that had caused Harry to inflict each one. Some were slightly raised and pink; the older ones were flat and a shiny white. He longed to feel that type of pain again, the one that masked the pain he felt inside, but he wouldn't allow himself this comfort any longer.

Realizing that this depressing introspection really wasn't helping him any, he closed his eyes tightly, refusing to allow himself to wallow in those painful memories.

_Don't think about it!_

Harry lay back on his bed, and forced the images of Draco and his friends back into his mind. Finding himself struggling to keep them in focus with the "other" memories creeping up on him, he replayed the events that had occurred over the last few days.

Since he had owled Draco with the good news that Sirius and Remus would start training them in defensive magic, his friends had come over nearly every day. Harry took great pride in being able to show his friends around his "house" and the surrounding woods and lake. He had never been allowed to have friends come over as a child and so now he asked if they could come over at every available opportunity.

Overall, having his friends over had been a wonderful distraction; Harry's way of keeping "busy."

It had been an interesting week. Training was a lot more fun than Harry had expected, which made their grueling practice sessions tolerable. They honed their skills with the hexes they were already familiar with and experimented with the new ones that they had found during all of their research this summer. Harry had even been allowed to try wandless magic, though he hadn't been really successful with it yet despite his many attempts. The others tried as well, but were unable to produce any significant results.

Besides training, Harry and his friends went swimming, studied their texts for seventh year, took long walks though the trails with Padfoot nipping at their heels, and ate more ice cream than Harry could remember ever eating before in his life. He finally felt like a teenager for the first time in his life. For once, he could just be himself, without all the illusions and masks he wore to hide what he felt inside.

Harry hadn't forgotten the real reason he was training… so that he could someday defeat Voldemort… but he focused on the positive for once and that was spending time with his friends and Draco. With these worries cast aside, Harry and Draco found their relationship growing stronger as they enjoyed their carefree time together. Draco looked remarkably gorgeous now that he was getting tan in the summer sun. His platinum blonde hair contrasted beautifully with his tanning features, making him look even more striking than usual.

With that in mind, the only low point this week had been having to go to headquarters again for another Occlumency lesson with Snape. Harry had feared that some of his more recent memories would be unlocked when the Legilimens entered his mind, but fortunately that didn't happen. Despite the initial awkwardness between them, Harry and Snape had silently reached some sort of understanding, which had made the lesson go by without difficulty. It had been a while since he had even seen Snape, though Harry knew that he stopped by Number 12 Grimmauld Place often for Order meetings and to visit his godson, Draco.

His lesson went surprisingly well, and Snape had even commented that Harry had made considerable progress this summer when he compared his performance to his fifth year. This was mainly due to the fact that the Potions' Master had taken the time to teach Harry to meditate as a means of blocking his mind. Harry was now able to use the image of his home, Villa de Luna, to block Snape's intrusions with ease. He only hoped that it would be enough to block Voldemort should he try attacking Harry's mind again.

Harry rolled onto his side as he thought about his Occlumency lesson just the other day. Thinking of Voldemort now was only a reminder of what he would be required to do before this war was over… and somehow that was just as damning to his soul as thinking about his past.

Sitting up, Harry decided that he needed to get some things down on paper. Grabbing his journal he jotted down a few quick lines, heedless of proper grammar, punctuation, or sentence structure. He just put down whatever came to mind to express how he was feeling. In the end what he came up with looked almost like a poem, something he had never written before. But that didn't stop him from signing the piece with a few of his X's to signify how badly he wanted to hurt himself right now.

_i_ _feel as though darkness surrounds me. memories of the past threaten to_

_overtake- only to realize what I must become. the thought makes me want to _

_slice my arms open- to feel crimson pain would take it all away. lost in the nothingness… _

_i_ _seek the light of my friends, but they don't know my impossible destiny, a prophecy _

_that has been kept hidden. will I have the strength to do what I hate-_

_to become a killer?_

_XXXX_

Rereading what he wrote several times, Harry found himself to be breathing quite hard. Taking a moment to take a few cleansing breaths, he felt much calmer than he did before. He didn't feel like his "normal" self exactly, but the writing had certainly helped.

He quickly stowed his journal back in his nightstand and got dressed, deciding to wear a long sleeve t-shirt despite the summer heat. Even if he had Remus place glamours on him, he would still feel vulnerable somehow.

Knowing that it would be time for lunch soon, Harry made his way downstairs, determined to act as nothing were bothering him. It was hard enough being truthful to Remus during their sessions; he at least wanted to feel somewhat normal the rest of the time.

Harry hadn't even made it down the stairs when he was confronted by Sirius, still clad in his bathing suit but wearing a t-shirt now that matched. Harry found himself standing on the bottom step, eye level to his godfather.

Sirius sighed. "Hey, Harry… I just wanted to say I'm sorry again…"

"It's okay… really…" Harry replied, forcing a smile on his face to reassure Sirius that he was all right.

Harry still worried about his godfather's fragile state of mind and he didn't want to upset him any further. He had learned from Remus recently that Sirius still suffered from horrific nightmares and sometimes felt delusional about what was reality and what he experienced in Limbo, though he hid it from Harry. The last thing Harry wanted was to make his godfather suffer anymore after all he had been through.

"It's not okay. I never wanted to make you feel that way… I just have a hard time understanding it all sometimes… do you understand?" he asked, his eyes searching Harry's pleadingly.

"Yeah, I think I do," Harry replied, seeing the worry in his godfather's eyes.

"Can you forgive me?"

"Of course."

Sirius sighed in relief. "I love you, kiddo," he said as he pulled Harry into a hug.

As often as it was said to him now, Harry never tired of hearing those words. "I love you too," he replied, returning the embrace.

Harry wasn't as awkward as he once was about the hugs Sirius liked to bestow on him on a regular basis. He was used to it now. His godfather had turned out to be surprisingly much more affectionate than Remus had ever been. Remus tended to be more reserved, though Harry was sure that Remus often waited for Harry to initiate contact because of his previous dislike to be touched in anyway.

Pulling back Sirius asked, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," Harry insisted, feeling much better after his shower and writing in his journal.

"Good… are you hungry?" he asked, moving towards the kitchen.

"I'm famished!" Harry exclaimed. Swimming always left him with an incredible appetite, which is probably the reason why he had finally been able to gain a little weight this summer.

"Then how about I make us some sandwiches?" Sirius suggested, as he began poking his nose through the cupboards.

"You? Make food?" Harry asked jokingly, remembering the last time Sirius tried to cook and the disaster that had ensued. The hamburgers he had made resembled small hockey pucks, the fries were undercooked, and the pasta salad that had accompanied the meal had been a bowl of mush. "You're kidding right?"

"Sure, why not? You said you're hungry, right?"

"Not that hungry…" Harry muttered as he took a seat at the table.

"Hey! I heard that!"

"You're not going to put Sushi or anything in it, are you?" Harry asked teasingly, watching as Sirius finally dragged each ingredient from the refrigerator and cupboards.

"You aren't going to let that one go, are you? It was just a joke, and besides if I was going to swap sushi for lunch meat do you think I would actually tell you?" Sirius asked with a mischievous grin on his face.

Harry felt himself go green at the thought. Sirius was the type to do something like that, even though his prankster ways had been much more subdued this summer.

"I'm just kidding!" he said playfully.

Remus chose that moment to come in from outside, looking quite sweaty as though he had been working in the yard, though he was still clad in his bathing suit as well. "What's going on?" he asked Harry.

"Sirius is making lunch…" he replied, pointing to the mess Sirius was making with some bread and mayonnaise.

"Uh-oh," Remus said under his breath, as he sat down beside Harry at the table.

"Hey! I heard that!" Sirius exclaimed as he continued to slop the sandwiches together.

"You okay?" Remus asked, turning to Harry.

"I'm fine," he insisted, forcing a smile on his face once again.

Remus sighed, clearly disappointed that Harry wasn't opening up more. "If you say so…"

Sirius plopped down a plate in front of each of them and watched them expectantly. Harry and Remus both eyed their sandwiches warily, taking a moment to lift the bread to peer inside to see if it was safe to eat. Finding no cause to be worried, they each took a hesitant bite, sighing in relief when they found it to be edible.

Harry ate his sandwich hungrily, still keeping up the pretense that he was fine. He even joined in the playful banter that Sirius and Remus had begun about who was the better cook. Overtime their conversation turned to their favorite foods and then to their training session that afternoon.

When Harry was finished eating, he decided to wait for his friends on the porch. He determinedly pushed all his dark thoughts from this morning aside. He would not allow himself to dwell on his scars or his past. Instead he waited excitedly for his friends, wondering what their day might hold.

* * *

A short while later Draco, Ron, and Hermione arrived by Floo to the remote cabin. Ginny had not come with them this time because she had been actually invited by Neville's grandmother to tea. It seemed that Neville's "Gram" was finally willing to give poor Ginny a chance. And it wasn't like she would miss much in her own training anyway. She was unable to participate in practicing the spells she learned since Ginny was still underage. She mainly watched, hoping that through observation alone she might become more proficient in defensive magic. 

Draco and Hermione had gotten in the habit of bringing along Jinx and Crookshanks when they came to cabin to give Molly a break from their disastrous play. She was tired of having to use charms to repair everything they broke while chasing one another about headquarters. Besides, both Jinx and Crookshanks seemed to enjoy the woods immensely and could get lost for hours stalking one another. In fact, they had taken off into the woods as soon as they arrived and hadn't been seen since.

When they finally tired of their games, the pair could often be found curled up together bathing one another or taking a cat nap in the sun. They had become fast friends. They even shared the toys that Harry had recently given them that he had purchased in Diagon Alley during his shopping spree with Sirius.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco had currently found themselves in a large open clearing in the middle of the woods, listening to Remus and Sirius highlight the many strategies used during battle.

"The key to getting the upper hand on your opponent is always anticipating their next move," explained Remus, as he carefully circled Sirius never letting his eyes stray for a single moment. "You must expect the unexpected and always be prepared."

"C'mon old man, quit the chatter… let's give these kids something to talk about," said Sirius, holding his wand at the ready. Taking aim quickly he skillfully cast a stinging hex at his friend.

Remus blocked it easily with a shielding charm and returned fire immediately, knowing that Sirius guard would be down momentarily.

Draco watched as the Remus and Sirius expertly dueled. They seemed to be adequately matched skill wise, but there were distinct differences in their approaches. Sirius was ruthless, and would fire hexes at his friend at an alarming rate giving little chance of return fire. Remus, on the other hand, waited for just the right moment to strike at his opponent and when he did he delivered a powerful blow. Overall, it was fascinating to watch. This was much more engaging than that stupid dueling club Lockhart had initiated in their second year at Hogwarts.

Sirius and Remus dodged each other's curses and circled one another carefully. Although they were friends, they didn't seem to have the same qualms about firing the more dangerous hexes at one another as Draco and the others did. They dueled tirelessly for nearly twenty minutes and with no clear winner in sight, they called a truce. They two men shook hands and slapped one another on the back to show that there were no hard feelings over the curses they had fired at one another.

"Now you try," said Remus slightly out of breath, as he and Sirius stepped back from the clearing.

The foursome stepped forward and took their usual positions. Draco always sparred against Ron and Hermione against Harry for these lighter defensive spells. Anything that they learned that was remotely dangerous would later be cast against Elmer, their practice dummy, who had been brought to the cabin earlier this week. He was now slumped against a nearby tree waiting to be used. Elmer was still wearing Muggle khaki shorts and a Hawaiian shirt that Ron used to decorate him for Harry's birthday party. He looked very odd standing off to the side, blankly staring at them in that get up, but they all got used to his presence fairly quickly.

The two pairs moved apart slightly, taking care not to fire a hex in the wrong direction and catch one of their friends off guard. Draco had surprisingly found Ron to be a worthy opponent, though he frequently grew frustrated with himself when something didn't go as he had planned. Draco used this knowledge to his advantage, however, and had returned to taunting the red head endlessly as he did in the past as they dueled. He knew that if he could get under Ron's skin enough that he would make another mistake, leaving Draco with an opening to take him out completely.

Ron tried firing several different hexes at Draco, but he blocked each easily. "C'mon Weasley, is that all you've got?"

"_OCCIDO_!" Ron shouted, as he sent a trip jinx in Draco's direction.

Draco tried to block it but found that his simple shielding spell wasn't enough this time, Ron had put too much power into his jinx. Draco soon found himself falling face forward, but caught himself with his hands before he crashed in the ground completely.

Angry with himself for not choosing a stronger shield, Draco pointed his wand at the ground and quickly yelled, "_OPPUGNO_!"

The numerous sticks and twigs that covered this part of the forest floor began to writhe and twist as they were transfigured into a flock of small bats. Yanking his wand upwards swiftly, Draco sent the bats to attack Ron as he raised himself up from the ground.

Ron's eyes widened in horror as the screeching creatures began dive bombing him_. "IMPEDIAMENTA!" _he promptly yelled.

Draco saw that Ron's spell had slowed the bats down but had not stopped them completely. The bats continued to attack him, but it looked like a slow motion replay. Seeing that Ron was still trying to figure out to get rid of them, Draco took a moment to brush off the leaves that had clung to him when he fell. He then stole a glance at Hermione and Harry and saw that they were both handling each other quite well. Harry clearly had the upper hand in power, but Hermione had a wealth of knowledge of various hexes from all of her studying. Glancing behind him he could see Sirius and Remus whispering to one another animatedly as they watched both pairs duel, looking for teaching points to cover when they were finished.

"_DETINEO_!" Ron finally shouted, repelling the bats away from him and sending them into a deeper part of the forest. Not wasting another second he whirled around towards Draco and yelled "_EXPELLIARMUS_!"

Draco was quicker than him however and shouted, "_PROTEGO_," effectively blocking Ron from relieving him of his wand.

Knowing that Ron was now proficient in both repelling and blocking charms, Draco decided to turn up their duel a notch. Pointing his wand to a tree limb above Ron's head, he yelled, "_REDUCTO_!" The limb snapped in half and came crashing down towards Ron.

Realizing what he had done, Ron quickly and shouted, "_DETINEO_," again, realizing he wouldn't have time to dodge out of the way.

Unfortunately, neither of them realized until too late how closed Hermione and Harry's duel had come to theirs. Distracted by Draco's reductor curse, Hermione had taken the chance to yell "_EXPELLIARMUS_," and had extracted Harry's wand from his hand.

Now wandless, Harry had a split second to decide whether or not he should duck the branch now flying towards his face or try using a wandless spell. He chose the latter, hoping that it might work… and failed miserably.

"Oof!" Harry shouted as the branch collided with his nose, propelling him backwards and causing blood to come spurting out of his nose. The branch landed somewhere behind him.

"Harry!" Draco shouted, running to his side. "Are you alright?"

"No, I fink my nobe is bwoken…" Harry said, covering his nose with his hands.

Draco helped Harry sit up as the others came running over. "I'm so sorry, Harry. I didn't mean for that to happen. Why didn't you duck out of the way?"

"I fought dat I could cat a wandleb bell…" he muttered, his eyes screwed up in pain.

Remus gently pushed Draco aside and kneeled before Harry. "Let me see…" he said gently. Harry did as he was told and pulled his hands away. His face was covered in blood and his nose was at an odd angle. "Yup, it's broken… but I can fix it. Hold still… _Episkey_!" he said softly, pointing his wand

Draco watched as the blood on Harry's face slowly disappeared and his nose straightened back to normal.

"Feel better?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, thanks. That was weird… my nose felt hot then cold…" Harry replied, touching his nose gingerly to make sure that it was back to normal again.

Draco helped Harry to his feet and gave him a hug in apology.

"Sorry about that, Harry… I didn't mean to send that branch towards you," Ron said earnestly.

"And I didn't realize that taking your wand would cause you to get hurt, sorry…" Hermione said sheepishly, handing back his wand.

"I know. It's alright." Harry smiled at his two best friends making sure they knew that there were no hard feelings.

"Maybe we should forget dueling for today and work on some offensive spells on Elmer instead," suggested Remus. "That was a little too close for my comfort."

Sirius nodded, "I agree."

Harry looked disappointed with this decision, but nodded anyway. The atmosphere surrounding the clearing they were had become much more subdued after Harry's little accident and no one really seemed in the mood to train any more.

They each took turns casting some of the more dangerous spells at Elmer. This time they worked alone, receiving a more private tutorial from Sirius and Remus. They would each stand before the magical dummy and cast three different hexes they had been researching and waited for feedback on their wand movement and pronunciation of the curse after each one. This allowed the others who were watching to engage in conversation.

Draco, Harry, and Ron were currently watching Hermione as she cast a temporary blinding hex she had discovered at Elmer. Though they were sure she had done it correctly, the effect was rather anticlimactic. It would certainly be useful in battle, even if it had little effect on a dummy that couldn't see anyway.

"So Ron, how's your Mum doing?" Harry asked, knowing from their conversations earlier this week that the Weasley matriarch had taken ill.

"Don't know… ask Draco. He's the only one she'll talk to about it. She insists to the rest of us that she is fine and that we should stop making a fuss," Ron replied, sounding somewhat resentful.

Draco rolled his eyes, remembering how each of Molly's children had hovered over her these last few days asking pointless questions. "She's fine now. It seemed to take a few more days than normal for the flu to work its way out of her system, but she'll be alright. Mr. Weasley has been by her side since he came home and found her in bed."

"Yes, but you're the one who made the potion and had been taking caring of her," replied Hermione, rejoining them after she had finished her round of spells.

Draco shrugged, not really wanting to make a big deal out it. He made the potion because he cared about Molly, not because he wanted some sort of attention from the others for doing it.

"Ron, you're up next!" Sirius called over to them.

Ron nodded and jogged over to where Sirius and Remus were standing. "Great, I know the perfect jinx to liven things up… " he said, sensing that they all needed a good laugh right now.

He glanced over his shoulder and winked mischievously at Harry, before turning back to the adults. "_TARANTALLEGRA!"_ Ron shouted, aiming his wand at Elmer with a gleeful smile on his face.

The dummy suddenly began dancing about wildly, knocking into Draco and Hermione in the process as it danced across the clearing. Both Ron and Harry began laughing wildly. This was their favorite hex to place on Elmer and they apparently thought it was hilarious.

"Oh honestly, Ron… you can be so childish sometimes…" Hermione complained, as she pushed Elmer away and rubbed at her now sore arm.

"My thoughts exactly-" Draco began.

He stopped in mid sentence as two blurs of fur suddenly appeared in the clearing they were in. They skidded to halt when the saw Elmer's dancing about wildly. Jinx, who was endlessly afraid of the magical dummy, leapt into Draco's arms seeking safety. Crookshanks had apparently thought that this was some sort of game and jumped after her, forcing Draco backwards because of the added weight. Falling flat on his back, Draco felt the felines jump off him and dart into the woods.

"I've had it!" Draco yelled, retrieving his wand and jumping up from the ground. He fully planned on hexing his familiar from hear to kingdom come for doing that again. They had had similar experiences like this with Jinx and Crookshanks nearly every training session.

"That's it! I'm going to put a stop to this," growled Sirius. He then transformed into his animagus form of a large black dog and chased after Jinx and Crookshanks, barking menacingly. Hermione's bandy legged cat had been once something of a friend to Sirius while he was on the run. Now he was being hunted like prey.

"I guess we should call it day then," said Remus, sighing irritably. "We're all getting pretty cranky."

"No, just Malfoy…" said Ron, laughing at the leaves sticking to his blond hair.

Draco scowled in disgust as he pulled out the leaves. He then pointed his wand at the moving target. "_FINITE INCANTATUM!"_ Elmer slowed to a halt and then slumped over slightly, looking exhausted. "Thanks Weasley. That's just what I wanted… to be assaulted by a dummy and knocked down by two annoying pests."

"Sorry… geesh," Ron muttered. "I thought it was funny…"

"It was," Harry agreed, trying hard to suppress his laughter now as he walked over and helped Draco remove the leaves from his hair.

"You would," Draco muttered, feeling quite irritable now.

"I'm going to head back the cabin. You're all welcome to stay for dinner later if you want," said Remus, grabbing the dummy and throwing it over his shoulder.

"Thanks," said Hermione, smiling genuinely.

"Are you sure your nose is okay?" asked Remus of Harry again.

"Yeah it's fine," he replied, handing over his wand to his guardian.

Remus quickly pocketed the wand. "Alright, I'll see you all later," he said as he lugged the practice dummy away.

"What should we do now?" Harry asked, looking at each of them.

Hermione smiled. "Actually, I think Ron and I are going to go for a walk… and talk about some of the choices he makes…"

Draco almost sighed in relief, feeling a little less irritable. Now that they had all been coming to the cabin together for training sessions he almost never had any time with Harry alone.

"Aw, Hermione…" Ron whined, as she dragged him away by the hand.

Harry and Draco laughed at them good-naturedly and reached for each other's hands. They walked towards a shadier part of the forest where it was cooler and sat down at the base of a large tree, resting their backs against it, still holding hands. They knew that they wouldn't be disturbed here and they relished being alone together.

Draco was always grateful when he got time to spend with Harry, not only because he enjoyed his company but also because it gave him a chance to get away from the other teenagers that resided at the Order's headquarters.

Having grown up as an only child, Draco apparently didn't have the same tolerance that the others did for putting up with one another. Though he had come to love them as friends and family, they could each be annoying in their own ways. Hermione seemed to study incessantly, Ron was fawning all over her looking for opportunities to have a snogging session, and Ginny was owling Neville daily and begging her parents if he could come and stay there as well. As awful as it may sound, Draco really hoped that didn't happen. He didn't think he could put up with two disgustingly gross couples at the same time.

"Are you okay?" Draco asked, now that they were alone.

"My nose is fine, Draco…" Harry began.

"I'm not talking about your nose. Something's been bothering you all day. What is it?" he asked. He could intuitively sense when something was wrong with Harry and he didn't want him to think that he had to hide it from him.

Harry sighed. "It's nothing… just some stuff on mind…"

Draco knew what "stuff" meant all to well. It was Harry's way of explaining to him what he was thinking about without actually coming out and telling him. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"You know you can, though. Right? I don't mind…"

"I know… sometimes I just don't want to talk about it."

"Okay…" Draco whispered, knowing when to let the subject go. Harry did in fact seem alright, but Draco worried nonetheless.

"I like be here with you…" Harry said softly. He nudged his head up against Draco's shoulder and made a soft keening sound, like he was rather content.

Sitting beside Harry beneath the tree, Draco couldn't help but feel himself become slightly aroused as he gazed at the man he loved. Harry had grown incredibly tan this summer and he looked healthier than Draco had ever known him. There were even some reddish highlights in his dark messy hair, making him seem ever more handsome. The long sleeve t-shirt he was wearing clung to his slight muscles because of the heat, and Draco couldn't help but stare at the beautiful young man beside him.

"What?" Harry asked nervously, realizing that Draco was staring at him.

"Nothing…"

"It must be something. You're looking at me funny."

"No I'm not… I just like what I see," Draco said with a smile. "So beautiful…"

"Really?"

"And I just want to-" Draco didn't waste any time reaching out to the smaller teen and kissing him firmly on the lips.

"Mmm…" Harry moaned against his lips. "That's nice…"

"Shhh…" Draco whispered, taking Harry's face in his hands.

They kissed each other passionately exploring each other's mouths. It had been so long since they had been like this together. Their heated passion began to mount as they both grew more aroused. Unsure if what he was doing was going to upset Harry or not, Draco hesitantly moved his hands under Harry's shirt and brushed them against the damp skin lightly, causing Harry to squirm with pleasure.

Sensing that Harry was okay with this, Draco moved his mouth to nip Harry's ears and then suckled at the soft sweaty skin at the base of his neck. Harry moaned in delight and turned his head to the side to allow Draco easier access.

Rising to his knees slightly, Draco repositioned himself so that he was practically lying on top of Harry, his thigh pressing against Harry's straining groin. He was pleased that he had gotten such a response from him and returned to kissing Harry's mouth as he stroked the skin beneath his shirt.

Then Harry did something quite unexpected. He gently grabbed one of Draco's hands and moved it downwards towards the bulge straining against his pants. Excited to finally get a chance to touch Harry in this way, Draco grasped him over his pants, stroking him somewhat roughly. Still unsure of how far Harry was willing to go, he quickly undid the smaller teen's pants and reached his hand inside. Wrapping his hand around the straining flesh he began stroking Harry as he moved to kiss his neck once again.

"Oh god… yes…." Harry groaned, raising his hips slightly to increase the friction.

"Can I try something?" Draco whispered in his ear.

"Yes!" Harry said breathlessly.

"Are you okay?" Draco asked, more worried about Harry's emotional well being than anything else right now.

"Yes… don't stop…" he pleaded.

Continuing to stroke Harry, Draco pushed up Harry's shirt and began to lick and kiss his way downwards. Glancing up he got a slight nod from Harry and he knew that he could continue. He lifted Harry's bottom up and quickly pushed his pants and underwear down so he could easily access his prize. He had wanted to do this to Harry for so long that he could hardly believe it was happening. The farthest they had ever gone was only heavy petting.

He took Harry's member into his mouth and quickly began sucking and stroking it with his hand. Having never experience anything like that before, it wasn't long before Harry climaxed, spilling his seed into Draco's mouth.

Sitting up, Draco allowed Harry to pull up his pants again before snuggling up beside him.

Kissing him on the cheek, he asked, "Was that okay?" Draco knew what Harry had been forced to do to his uncle as a child, and was worried that he might somehow associate both experiences. Draco hoped that he wouldn't feel awkward about what he had just done to him, especially since he planned on doing it again and again.

"That was bloody amazing," Harry replied, returning the affectionate kiss.

Draco sighed in relief and kissed him again. It didn't matter that he had not been sexually fulfilled. Today had been about Harry. They were moving slowly in regards to intimacy in their relationship because of Harry's past, but each successive baby step pushed them towards Draco's goal of a healthy committed relationship.

They lay there a long while, snuggling beside one another despite the hot summer temperatures. Draco suddenly sensed that something was wrong as he felt Harry's body tighten up beside him.

"What is it?" he asked, studying Harry's face carefully.

The small teen didn't say a word. His face was screwed up in pain and the heel of his hand was pressed tightly against his forehead.

"What is it?" Draco asked again, as Harry moved away from him with both hand now clasped over his forehead.

"Voldemort…"

"What? You mean like a vision?" Draco asked worriedly, having no idea what he should do. He placed a hand on Harry's shoulder only to have it brushed away.

"No… but I heard him laughing inside of my head… he's happy for some reason…" Harry said, through gritted teeth.

"Is he here?" he asked, whirling his head about expecting to find Death Eaters surrounding them in the forest.

"No… but I think something has happened…"

"What do we do?"

"I need to tell Dumbledore," Harry replied, lifting his head finally and looking Draco in the eyes.

He could see the fear and dread that lay behind the emerald depths and finally understood the seriousness of the situation. "C'mon let's go!" Draco shouted, pulling Harry to his feet and dragging him through the forest towards the cabin.

They found Remus quickly, coming out onto the porch. "Remus!" Draco shouted, as they ran towards him.

"What? What is it?" he asked, sensing that something was wrong.

"My scar is burning… and I heard Voldemort laughing inside my head," Harry quickly explained.

"Was there a vision?" Remus asked.

Harry shook his head. "No, but I know that something is wrong."

"Are you occluding?"

"No, I didn't need to… and the pain has subsided…"

"Has your scar hurt any time before now?"

Harry looked hesitant to answer. "Well, yes… I kept getting these little twinges every now and then, but no visions… I didn't know what it all meant. I thought it might be my mind playing tricks on me because I'm worried about why things had been so quiet. The last time my scar hurt was at my birthday party. I promised Draco I would tell you, but then… well you know…" Harry said reluctantly. "This was the worst my scar has felt this summer."

"I can't believe you're just now telling me this," Remus scolded, reprimanding him for keeping that information to himself.

"Sorry… I kind of forgot…"

He gave Harry a leveling look and took a deep breath. "It doesn't matter. But I must stress that you tell me or Sirius the instant something like this happens again."

Harry nodded, realizing how dangerous it was to keep what had been happening a secret.

"Round up the others. We're all going to headquarters," Remus ordered.

Draco and Harry quickly nodded and set out to find Sirius and their friends.

* * *

After deliberating with Dumbledore and the rest of the Order, Remus and Sirius set out to find Harry and his friends. Not surprisingly they discovered the group resting comfortably in the living room quietly discussing Voldemort and trying to come up with possible theories about why Harry's scar had hurt. 

"What's happened?" Harry asked, sitting up at the sight of his guardian. Ron, Hermione, and Draco sat up as well.

Remus felt somewhat reluctant to tell them that their worst fear had been confirmed. They had been enjoying such a peaceful afternoon before all of this happened and it was a shame to have to ruin all that. He cleared his throat but found he didn't know what to say.

Fortunately, Sirius spoke up for him. "There has been a battle in South Yorkshire… The Death Eaters stuck so hard and so fast that the village had little time to call for back up… some Aurors had arrived on the scene but it was unfortunately too late. The entire village had been destroyed. There was little the Order could have done even if we had known about it in time."

"Any casualties?" Harry asked.

"Yes, several muggles were killed... as well as several witches and wizards," Remus replied. "Many villagers had chosen to flee as soon as they saw the Death Eaters and so fortunately many survived. Those who stayed to fight… perished."

"Anyone we know?" Hermione asked, her voice strained and her eyes filled with tears.

Ron's family had already lost his squib cousin and his entire family. That had been hard enough and they hadn't even known them. Remus couldn't imagine how devastated they would be if they lost anyone remotely close to them.

"There's a long list… so we can't be sure… but there is apparently twin girls who attend Hogwarts who lost their parents tonight," Sirius explained. "I think they were in your year."

"Pavarti and Padma… oh my god… they must be so devastated…" Hermione began crying softly in Ron's arms.

Harry sat there staring blankly across the room, knowing better than anyone how it felt to grow up without parents. Draco sat beside him looking equally perplexed.

"They're staying with their grandparents now," said Remus, hoping to alleviate some of their concerns.

"Do we have any idea why they decided to attack the village?" asked Ron, who was still trying to soothe Hermione.

"No, as far as we know Voldemort had nothing to gain by having his Death Eaters attack this location. He didn't even show up again. Dumbledore imagines that he is flexing his muscle, so to speak, letting every one know that he is still to be feared. Despite the Order's efforts, his numbers are steadily growing as more and more families who are too frightened to resist Voldemort, join his cause for fear that their loved ones will be killed," Remus explained.

"Yeah and what they don't understand is that they will all die anyway," said Sirius, his voice hard and cold.

Sirius was right, despite his harshness of his words. The war is looming closer and closer. That was the second attack that had occurred in relative proximity to London.

Draco suddenly stood up, startling Harry who was sitting beside him.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked.

"I need to owl Blaise… his family lives near South Yorkshire… I need to make sure he's alright," Draco explained, with a haunted look in his eyes.

Ron snorted and said, "I thought his father was a Death Eater."

Draco shot him a dirty look. "It's complicated… you wouldn't understand because your father never had to live his life in fear of serving someone he loathes in order to keep your family safe…"

Ron bowed his head guiltily and said a quite apology. Taking Harry's hand, Draco quickly whispered something in his ear. Harry nodded and gave Draco's hand a squeeze before allowing the blond to leave to write his friend.

Remus watched as Harry then crossed his arms over his chest and a forlorn look crossed his face.

"What's wrong Harry?" Remus asked.

Harry jumped off the couch and looked at him imploringly. "How can you even ask me that? You know what's wrong! I feel responsible for all of this," said Harry, his voice choked with emotion.

Ron and Hermione watched from their seated positions, not really sure what to say or do just now. They knew how Harry could get when he was on one of his rampages.

"Harry you're not responsible for Voldemort's actions. How could you be?" Sirius interjected.

"Yes, but I'm the bloody idiot that allowed myself to be captured during the Triwizard Tournament. It's _my blood_ that Voldemort used to resurrect himself!" Harry retorted, as he began pacing back and forth.

"Harry, don't do this to yourself… it's not your fault…" Remus tried to reason with him.

"I was useless in the last battle and I was useless for this one again! What good is all this training if I can't put it to use!" Harry shouted.

"Harry, you're still young… we don't expect you to fight in battle right now. You're not ready!" Sirius insisted.

"Yeah? And when will I be? When it's too late? When Voldemort has systematically taken every person I love away from me? That's not good enough! I need to know when!"

"Harry, you know that's not possible…" Remus tried again.

Harry growled in frustration. "Oh yeah… I forgot… this stupid prophecy never gave a time frame! So until the final battle goes down I get to wait around and sit on my hands and act like it doesn't bother me! Well it does!"

Ron and Hermione looked at one another and then back at Harry, waiting expectantly for the information they had longed to hear for over a year now.

"What about the prophecy? What are you talking about?" Sirius asked. He looked to his godson and Remus, confusion clearly written all over at his face.

Harry stopped dead in his tracks and looked to Remus in alarm, realizing that they had somehow had never gotten around to telling Sirius about the prophecy with everything else that had happened. They were both at a loss as to how to explain to Sirius that he had been kept in the dark yet again.

"What about the prophecy?" he repeated, his voice growing irritated. "Do you mean the one from the Department of Mysteries?"

Harry nodded. "The prophecy was about me and Voldemort… it said-"

"You can't possibly know what it said! No one does! I saw it smash myself while we were fighting off the Death Eaters," he retorted.

"Actually, yes we do," said Remus finally. He looked over at Ron and Hermione and sighed. "I think that Harry and I need to explain a few things to Sirius… if you could give us a few moments…"

Sirius was glaring at all of them, apparently put out that this piece of information had been kept from him as well.

"We understand," said Hermione dejectedly, getting up to leave the room and give them some privacy.

"NO! No way are we leaving so that you can tell Sirius the prophecy and not us! Draco already knows… why can't we?" Ron shouted, his face turning to a dark shade of red.

Remus had never seen Ron Weasley so angry before, but he knew that it was justified. "Dumbledore does not want too many people knowing of the prophecy. It's dangerous," Remus explained.

"Ron, maybe we should go…" said Hermione softly, eyeing Harry's still angry godfather while tugging on her boyfriend's arm.

Ron shrugged her arm. "I understand the need for secrecy, but we're Harry's best friends. We are training with him and I plan to be by his side when he finally takes Voldemort down! And you're not going to stop me!"

Everyone was open mouthed in shock. Ron had never before used You-Know-Who's real name before. It was clear how seriously he was taking this situation.

"Now, wouldn't it be practical that Hermione and I knew about the prophecy so that we can better protect Harry?" Ron reasoned, his voice finally coming down a notch.

Remus sighed. "I suppose so…" He walked across the living room and closed the doors that led to the hallway. He then put up several different silencing spells, assuring that what they were about to say would not be overheard by anyone else.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Sirius stood their quietly and waited for Remus patiently as he finished his security precautions.

Only a small number people knew what the prophecy actually foretold. Even the most respected members of Order didn't know of the prophecy. It was too risky. Harry had learned about the prophecy from Dumbledore the very night that Sirius fell through the Veil. He then told Draco as their relationship began to unfold. Draco in turn let it slip to his godfather, Severus Snape, fearing that if he didn't find a way to save Harry from Voldemort he would lose his love forever and the wizarding world would be overcome with darkness.

Ron and Hermione had almost learned of the prophecy on Halloween night when Voldemort attacked Hogsmeade. Snape had confessed to them that he was the one that led Draco to the Solara Amicus spell that saved Harry's life because of the prophecy. When they tried to learn the details of what the prophecy foretold, Dumbledore had quickly explained they were not to ask.

Turning back to them, Remus said, "As you know, the prophecy was the reason Harry was lured to the Department of Mysteries. Although it was destroyed, there was one other person who knew what it had said…"

Sirius raised an eyebrow, and looked both Remus and Harry curiously.

Harry finished for Remus and said, "Dumbledore… after you, you know… fell through the veil… Trelawney had actually made the prophecy to Dumbledore and he let me listen to the memory in his office… he showed it to me in the pensieve …"

"What does it say?" Sirius asked.

Harry took a deep breath and then recited the prophecy in its entirety in a dead pan voice. "_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."_

The room was silent after Harry had finished. Apparently no one knew what to say. Ron and Hermione were pale and unmoving, frightened now for their friend.

Sirius looked especially flabbergasted by the content of the prophecy, alternately opening and closing his mouth as he tried to figure out what to say. "So you mean to tell me my godson is solely responsible for bringing Voldemort down?" he said finally.

"It would appear that way…" said Remus sadly.

"That's why I asked you and Remus to start training me. I meant to start sooner after what happened in the battle at Dartmouth, but with bringing you back from beyond the veil and dealing with everything else… I kind of got distracted. But I'm not now," Harry insisted. "I'm going to prepare for this war if it is the last thing I do."

"Harry, I can't believe that you're talking like this. You're just a kid!" Sirius exclaimed. He walked towards Harry and placed a hand on either shoulder trying to make his godson understand. "We can't expect you to defeat Voldemort! Not now!"

"I don't have a choice! Don't you see that! Its either him or me… one of us has to die!" Harry shouted, twisting out of Sirius's grasp.

Remus noticed the hurt in Sirius's eyes and said, "Unfortunately, Siri, it's true."

"But it's not fair to put that kind of pressure on him!" he exclaimed.

"I know…" said Remus.

"And the Order is okay with all of this?"

Remus shook his head. "The only Order members that know are myself and Dumbledore… and well, Snape too I suppose…"

"Snape knows? How?"

"It's a long story," muttered Harry.

"One that you're going to tell me soon, I hope," Sirius countered.

Harry nodded, somewhat reluctantly.

"So this prophecy is the reason why Voldemort attacked Harry when he was a baby? And why he keeps coming after Harry?"

"Yes," Remus replied simply, hoping that Sirius wouldn't connect that it is also the reason why Harry's parents were killed in front of him. It was hard enough as it was without anyone pointing that little fact out as well.

"I don't like this. I don't like this one bit!"

"None of us do… that's why we will be beside Harry no matter what happens when the prophecy is fulfilled…" said Remus in a determined voice

Sirius nodded in agreement. Remus couldn't help but notice how Harry looked away. Remus instinctively knew that Harry wanted to do this by himself if possible for fear of anyone else dying because of him. He still didn't understand that everyone he had ever lost didn't die because of him, but _for_ him.

"Is this what you couldn't tell me when we went to that Muggle restaurant?" Sirius asked Harry. "Is this why you've been studying so much? Because you think you have to kill Voldemort?"

Harry nodded, deciding to still remain quiet during Sirius' little tirade.

"This is ridiculous. I won't allow my godson to become a _murderer_!" Sirius yelled.

Remus winced at Sirius poor choice of words. "You don't have a choice in the matter, Sirius. This is a prophecy. The end result will come to pass whether or not you like it. Would you rather Harry kill or be killed?"

Sirius looked at Harry sadly, but neither said another word about the prophecy. He didn't have to… both Remus and Harry knew what he was thinking.

Harry was eventually going to have to kill…

* * *

A/N: It was very sweet that so many of you were very worried about Mrs. Weasley in the last chapter. It was just the flu and she's all better now. Draco just needed to learn how much she meant to him. What did you think of how the prophecy was revealed? It was something I had meant to write about earlier, but it never really fit anywhere until now. And what did you think about the H/D fluff? I thought it was about time that they took another step towards a sexual relationship. This chapter was much longer than I had originally planned so I hope you appreciated it. Let me know your thoughts. 

A/N2: I had to create a few new curses and give incantations to ones that have been mentioned in canon. In case you're wondering, here are the Latin translations: _OCCIDO_ means "fall down" and _DETINEO_ means "hold off," which was the closest I could come to repel in Latin. (I use an online Latin/English translator so forgive me if they are not entirely accurate).

**Many thanks to all my readers and reviewers!**


	18. Motorbikes, Visions, and Midnight Swims

_This chapter has been reposted. I've added a bit more to the conversation between Severus and Draco. It never felt right the way I had written it before._

A/N: Sorry about the long hiatus. It has been a difficult year and I have had a lot to work through. I hope all my loyal readers haven't abandoned me.

A/N2: Since it's been so long here's a quick recap of what has happened so far. Harry is living with Remus and Sirius at the cabin and recently had an encounter with his uncle while on a shopping trip in London. He is still struggling with self-harm and his horrible childhood, and to complicate matters he is now sensing what's going on with Voldemort again through his scar. In the last chapter Harry is able to alert the Order of a possible attack, which was later confirmed to have taken place in South Yorkshire. And Sirius, Ron, and Hermione finally learn of the prophecy. Draco is struggling to find his place in the Weasley family and is determined to help Harry any way that he can. Oh, and as I promised the story will shift focus onto Draco rather soon. Okay… that was the short, short version. A lot has happened besides all that, but I'll leave that up to you to re-read if necessary. On with the story!

* * *

**Chapter 18- Motorbikes, Visions, and Midnight** **Swims, Oh My!**

Draco was playing chess with Ron while he waited for Harry's Occlumency lesson to be finished. Hermione and Ginny were sitting close by reading the latest copy of _Witch Weekly_. It annoyed Draco to no end that Hermione pretended to only read the sensational magazine to see what they occasionally wrote about Harry, when he knew darn well how she enjoyed all the articles. On more than one occasion he had heard a conversation on make up tips from the magazine drift out of Hermione and Ginny's room.

"Checkmate!" Ron suddenly yelled gleefully.

Draco stared at the red head incredulously and then down at the board. Ron had won… yet again. "Damn it! Not again…"

Draco had yet to beat Ron at chess. He had once heard rumors about the famous chess game Ron had played when the trio had gone after the Philosopher's Stone, but he had never believed any of the hype… until now.

"Wanna go once more?" Ron asked, his blue eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Not really," Draco muttered.

Thankfully Harry had appeared in the doorway of the living room and saved Draco of any further embarrassment. He looked a little tired and he was rubbing at his temples with the tips of his hands. Draco eagerly rose to greet him, having waited for him for nearly an hour.

"How did Occlumency go?" he asked as he approached his boyfriend.

"Pretty well, actually. I was able to block Snape almost every time," Harry replied.

"That's great," Draco exclaimed, but seeing the look on Harry's face he knew something wrong. "Well, isn't it?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah… but it always leaves me with such a headache…" he explained, his green eyes looking slightly unfocused from the pain.

"Do you want a potion?"

Harry sighed tiredly and looked up at Draco appreciatively. "No, it's really not that bad… just annoying."

"I can take care of that… follow me…" Draco said softly, taking Harry by the hand.

He led his boyfriend upstairs to the room he shared with Ron, leaving the others behind. Once inside, Draco lay down in bed, pulling Harry against him. With his head resting on Draco's shoulder, Harry was soon put at ease as Draco gently rubbed Harry's temples with the tips of his fingers. He spoke to him softly, kissing his forehead periodically. The couple had grown much more intimate recently and they each relished the comforting touches they gave one another.

"Mm… that feels so much better," Harry moaned in appreciation. He then cocked his head so that he could kiss Draco on the lips. "Thanks."

"No problem…" he replied, running his fingers now through Harry's messy locks.

"Draco, I forgot to ask before," Harry began, resting his head against Draco's shoulder again. "Did you ever hear from Blaise?"

"Yeah. He owled me this morning… his family got out in time, but the house was completely destroyed. I think they're living with his uncle for now."

Draco had owled his friend the instant that he heard about the battle in south Yorkshire. He was certain that Blaise had told him once that he lived close to that area and he had grown instantly concerned for his friend. He was glad that he had followed his instincts to write to him.

"Well, I'm glad that he's okay," Harry said softly.

"Me too."

Draco's friendship with Blaise was important to him. He was the only Slytherin that Draco felt he could trust and he had been by Draco's side through everything last year. They had even grown quite close this past year, though maybe not as close as Harry was with his friends. Even when all the other Slytherins had rejected him, Blaise had been by his side. They confided in one another about their fears and admitted that neither one truly wanted to walk down that dark path that so many of their peers were ready to take. Blaise had even been supportive of his relationship with Harry, which what was most important to Draco

They were both thoughtful for a few minutes, unsure of what they should say. Neither of them was really in the mood to discuss the battle or Voldemort for that matter.

"Do you know why we aren't training today?" Draco asked finally. "I found a new spell I've been meaning to try out and I was hoping to do it this afternoon." Ron, Harry, Draco, and Hermione had been training regularly now at the cabin and it was unusual to have an afternoon off.

Harry yawned tiredly and mumbled, "No, I don't. I assumed Remus or Sirius had something else to do today."

The blond looked at him curiously. "Why are you so tired?"

"I got up extra early to swim because I knew I was coming here," Harry explained through another yawn. "And I didn't really sleep well last night either."

"Nightmares?" Draco asked worriedly. He knew how much seeing his uncle again was still affecting Harry.

"No, just worried about everything," Harry said with sigh.

"Oh…" Draco replied, knowing all too well what Harry meant. The recent battle had left them all feeling anxious and unsettled. Glancing down at Harry's sleepy face he smiled. "You know what?"

"Huh?"

"You're cute when you're all tired and sleepy…"

"Am I?" Harry said playfully. He turned over so that he was now lying on top of Draco, facing him.

Draco nodded. "Very."

Harry smiled and then captured Draco's lips in his own. He was obviously too tired to make much of an effort, but Draco appreciated the gesture anyway. They hugged and kissed for several moments, until Harry pulled away with a contented sigh. Draco grinned at Harry's head now lying on his chest and ran his fingers through his hair again.

"Hey Draco…" Harry began.

"Yeah?"

"I love you…" he said sleepily.

Draco smiled, pulling Harry closer. "I love you, too."

They fell asleep together feeling blissfully content just to be in one another's presence. They were both surprised when they awoke later and found that a few hours had actually gone by. Harry quickly excused himself, explaining he probably needed to get back home to see what was going on. Draco hated to see him go, but he nodded in understanding.

He escorted his boyfriend downstairs so that Harry could make his apologies to his friends for not visiting with them today before returning home. They found them eating lunch in the kitchen, so they retreated upstairs to say their goodbyes. Following Harry into the living room, Draco gave him one last kiss goodbye before Harry finally flooed back to the cabin. The blond couldn't help but feel a little sad to see Harry disappear behind the green flames of the fireplace. For as much time as they spent together, Draco was always left with the feeling that he needed more.

Turning around now, he caught a glimpse of his godfather walking past the living room doorway, his permanent scowl set upon his face.

"_Severus is still here!"_ Draco thought in surprise. He had assumed that Severus had gone back to Hogwarts after Harry's Occlumency lesson.

It was rare that Draco got any time to spend with his godfather alone. He was always popping in and out of the Order's headquarters at odd hours, working on different things for Dumbledore. With everything that was going on Draco was feeling a little forgotten. And for some reason Draco felt an overwhelming need to see his godfather just now. Before he even realized what he was doing, he found himself dashing into the hallway after him.

"Severus… wait!" Draco called, as he walked briskly to catch up to the man.

Severus turned around quickly, his black robes billowing slightly as he did so with his usual dramatic air. His godfather raised an eyebrow as he looked at Draco curiously. He had looked rather irritated when he had walked by the living room just moments before, but now his face was schooled to show Draco a bit of patience. "Yes?"

"Sorry," Draco replied quickly, feeling foolish now for having disturbed him. Severus probably had more important things on his mind than to deal with a needy teenager just how. Draco shoved his hands into his pockets nervously, a behavior he had unknowingly picked up from Harry. "Are you busy?"

"I have Order business I need to attend to. I was just leaving," Severus replied. Draco nodded, but felt bitter a disappointment that he never seemed to spend any time with his godfather. His face must have betrayed what he was feeling because Severus reluctantly asked, "What is it?"

"I just thought- never mind…I don't mean to bother you."

Severus sighed softly and said, "You are not a bother to me, Draco."

Draco looked away wanting to believe what his godfather said was true. But in all the time he had been staying with the Weasleys in the Order's headquarters he had barely ever seen Severus. Although the Potions Master was there nearly every day for Order business, Draco rarely got a chance to spend time with him. In fact, he was pretty sure Harry had spent more hours with Severus than he had during his Occlumency lessons. "Feels like it sometimes…" he muttered angrily.

There was a long pause following that statement. Draco looked back up at his godfather and saw the surprise and hurt in Severus's eyes. "I didn't know you felt that way."

Draco shrugged. "It's not a big deal. I'll leave you be so that you can attend to your duties," he said, somewhat coldly. He turned to walk away, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Perhaps I do have a few moments that I can spare to spend some time with my godson," Severus replied.

"You don't have to-" Draco began, starting to feel bad about wasting Severus's time like this.

"Come," he said, leading Draco back into the living room.

Severus strode towards one of the couches Draco followed, sitting beside him.

"How are you?" Severus asked in a somewhat formal tone.

"Fine," Draco replied.

This was how they began all their conversations, with polite questioning. Although Draco loved his godfather, he wasn't quite as close with him as Harry was with Sirius. But Severus was in fact a hard person to get close to. He seemed to keep himself carefully guarded at all times, even with his own godson.

"Is there something you wished to speak to me about?" he asked.

Draco felt himself blanch at the question and wished that he had planned something to say. All he really wanted was to spend some time with the blasted man.

"No, not really… I guess I was wondering how Harry's Occlumency lessons were going," he asked, not really knowing what else to say.

Severus raised an eyebrow at this question. "You would know better than I would, I think."

Draco merely shrugged.

"Doesn't he talk to you about them?"

"Well, yeah… but I guess I wanted your opinion. Is he going to be able to block Voldemort when the time comes?" he asked.

His godfather gave him a pensive look. "Potter has been quite successful as of late blocking me from his mind. When the time comes he has the tools he needs to block the Dark Lord from entering his mind. Surely he has told you about our sessions?"

"Yes, but I'm worried about him!" Draco nearly yelled. "He works himself constantly but never stops to deal with anything that is happening around him."

"Perhaps it's not the Occlumency lessons you are truly worried about," Severus offered.

Draco sighed in frustration. "It's just that… Harry always keeps everything so bottled up. I'm worried about him, but he won't talk about how much seeing his uncle again has shaken him up. He just wants to pretend it didn't happen."

He glanced up at Severus and noticed how uncomfortable the man had suddenly become.

"He's much stronger than you give him credit for," Snape said with some reluctance.

"I know he is… he's the strongest person I know…"

"How is everything with the Weasleys?" Severus asked, attempting to change this awkward topic.

Draco smirked and replied, "I loathe to admit this, but they really are a good lot."

"You are no longer having problems getting along then?"

"Oh, we have our moments, but no… we get along just fine." For some reason Draco couldn't admit how much he really liked spending time with all of them and that for the first time he actually knew what it was like to be a family.

"I know you wrote to your friend Blaise, how is he?" Severus asked curiously,

As head of Slytherin, Severus had always taken great pains to take care of the students in his charge, always inquiring about what was going on in their lives. He knew each one's personally and did his best to guide them in their lives, often giving subtle hints that they could choose paths different from that of their parents. It was no secret that many students in his house came from homes that believed in Voldemort's ideals. Though he could never outright deny the Dark Lord, he used clever manipulation to help his students see the truth… that they would become nothing more than slaves if they joined the Dark Lord's cause. Now that he was no longer a spy, this task had become much easier.

Blaise had become something of a project for Severus, encouraged by the fact that he had become friends with his godson, and he was determined to see that the teenager wouldn't align his loyalties to the wrong side.

"As good as can be expected, I guess… truthfully, I think he's devastated," Draco replied, as he explained the details of what had happened to his friend during the battle. Blaise had only a few moments to grab what he could before he and his mother had to flee their home. Finding some safety among the trees surrounding the ancestral home, they had watched in horror as Death Eaters had set the beautiful manor on fire, destroying all of their precious possessions inside.

Severus nodded. "I imagine he would be… losing everything like that."

"At least his family escaped alive," Draco reasoned, sighing wistfully.

Once brought up to believe that material possessions could bring you happiness, Draco had learned over time that family and loved ones were far more important. The Weasleys had taught him that through all the time he had spent with them over the past year. It was hard to believe that he had once been so materialistic and callous about the importance of family.

He appreciated the fact that the Weasleys had taken him in when he had no where else to go, but he couldn't forget what this war had done to his own family. His father was still rotting in Azkaban for his allegiance to Voldemort and his mother had been missing since last summer. Draco literally had no family to speak of and he hated to think that Blaise might meet a similar fate.

"Yes, but at what cost?" Severus asked softly.

"What do you mean?" Draco asked, growing worried now.

"Nothing…"

"No, tell me what you meant."

His godfather sighed as he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his legs. "I fear that the Dark Lord may still have influence over the Zabinis. Blaise and his father may yet become Death Eaters."

"He wouldn't!" Draco yelled incredulously.

Blaise's father had openly supported Voldemort during the first war, but had never officially joined his ranks. After the Dark Lord's downfall, he had been relieved that he hadn't, knowing how difficult life could have been for his family during all the investigations that the Ministry conducted in the years that followed. Now that the Dark Lord was back in power, Blaise's father had been constantly put under pressure to join the Death Eaters. He had managed to avoid any confrontation with them until now, but it was clear that his family's lives were no longer safe through apparent support alone.

"Draco, you know what kind of pressures the Dark Lord puts on people-"

"Blaise isn't like that. He's stronger than that!" said Draco heatedly, defending his friend.

Severus shrugged his shoulders in resignation as if to say, "_We'll see,"_ but the expression on his face spoke volumes. He was worried.

Draco sat there feeling angry with his godfather for thinking such a thing of his friend. He couldn't imagine Blaise ever joining the Death Eaters, but that didn't mean that he couldn't somehow be forced to. He hated this war and everything that it meant, and he found that since the recent battle he couldn't stop thinking about it.

"What is it, Draco?" Severus asked, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It's this war! I'm so sick of it. More and more people are dying all the time. My friends and I are training so that we can help in battle, but in the end, what good will it do? Harry will still have to face Voldemort and we could all still die!" he said heatedly.

"Draco, you mustn't think like that… the Order will do everything in their power to see that you all survive and that Harry succeeds," his godfather replied, surprisingly optimistic for such a dark man.

"Why does the Order have to do everything? Why can't the Ministry of Magic be more involved? It seems like the Aurors are late on the scene every single time there is a battle," Draco replied scathingly.

Severus nodded, his expression dark and stormy. "I can't agree with you more. The Ministry has been a little more than lax on their investigation into Voldemort's whereabouts and analyzing his activities."

"But why?"

Severus shook his head. "No one really knows for sure, but from the way Tonks and Kingsley talk about their Auror meetings it sounds as though they practically have their hands tied, unable to do much of anything. Dumbledore still suspects that Fudge may be being manipulated somehow by someone on the inside, but we do not have proof. And without proof, Fudge cannot be overthrown."

"What about Percy? Isn't he helping the Order, looking for evidence that Fudge is being controlled?" Draco asked, remembering the incident that happened last Christmas.

After being tortured by two young Death Eaters, Percy had unwittingly led the Death Eaters directly to the Burrow. Fortunately, everyone managed to get out safely and the Burrow was left untouched. But the Order had feared that their location was no longer safe and had insisted that the Weasleys move into headquarters, at least temporarily, until the war was finally over. After a full examination it had been discovered that Percy had been placed under the Imperious Curse several times while working at the Ministry, but it couldn't be determined if he was being controlled by Fudge himself or by somebody else. The extent of the corruption was amazing and they discovered that Percy had been forced to destroy documents about Voldemort's known whereabouts and activities.

Finally realizing what had happened, Percy had begged for forgiveness and was welcomed back to the family with open arms. He had been helping the Order ever since, still working at the Ministry in his same position, hoping to come across something that could help the Order's cause. It was dangerous for him, however, because he risked being cursed again. It was for that reason that he wasn't allowed to come to the Order's meetings… they feared he may accidentally leak information about the Order if he was ever placed under the Imperious Curse again.

"Yes, but he hasn't found anything conclusive yet…" Severus replied.

Draco sighed disappointedly.

"Don't worry, Draco… this war will come to pass soon enough… and when it does I know you and Harry will be victorious…."

"You think so?" Draco asked again, surprised again to hear Severus making such declarations.

"I have to…" Severus said softly.

* * *

Sirius had been impatiently waiting all morning for Harry to come back from his Occlumency lesson with Snape. He had something big planned for Harry that afternoon and he couldn't wait for his godson to find out.

Feeling restless, he had attempted reading one of the books in Remus's library, only to find that he couldn't concentrate. He was just too excited about spending some time with Harry. They really hadn't had a lot of time alone together this summer and Sirius felt like he needed to begin building memorable experiences with Harry to rectify all those years he spent away from him. It many ways Sirius felt like it was his fault that Harry suffered so much through his childhood. He never realized at the time that the choices he made would affect Harry so dramatically.

He had a lot to make up for and he was going to spend a lifetime making sure that Harry knew how much he loved him.

Sirius cast another tempus charm and stared at the glittering numerals in dismay. It had only been five minutes since he had cast the last charm. Frustrated that Harry had not come home yet, he called out to his friend in the kitchen, "Where is he?"

"Calm down. He'll be here soon," Remus said encouragingly. He had been working all morning on his lesson plans for DADA next year. Various books and pieces of parchment were spread across the kitchen table so that it was impossible to see the wooden grain below.

"I know but when?" Sirius asked, setting his book aside now.

"Soon," Remus insisted. "He's probably just visiting with Draco."

Sirius rolled his eyes impatiently, knowing that it was true. After observing them during several training sessions it was clear that those boys were beyond close. They seemed positively obsessed with each other at times.

If that was what being a soul mate meant, then Sirius wasn't so sure he ever wanted to find his own. He couldn't imagine being so wrapped up in another person that he failed to notice anyone else wanted to spend time with him; although, he hadn't had a lot of meaningful relationships over the years to go on.

Seeing Sirius's irritated expression, Remus shook his head in amusement and turned his attention back to his notes.

When Sirius felt like he could wait no longer, green flames in the fireplace flared up signaling Harry's arrival home. He watched as his godson stepped out of the hearth and began dusting the soot off his clothing.

"Hey," said Harry straightening his glasses. He then walked past his godfather towards Remus. Harry quickly handed his guardian back his wand. He was still only allowed to have it during training and Occlumency, though he really didn't need it now to keep Snape out of his mind.

"Hey yourself," said Sirius, jumping up from the couch. "Where've you been?"

Harry turned back to Sirius, clearly puzzled. "I had Occlumency," he said with a shrug. "You knew that."

"For four hours!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Well, I visited with Draco too," Harry said sheepishly.

Sirius threw his hands up in the air and made an exaggerated sigh, displaying how ridiculous he thought that was.

"What's with him?" Harry asked Remus, looking confused.

Remus smiled. "He has a surprise for you."

"Really?" Harry asked, his face lighting up in anticipation.

"Yeah, I've been waiting for what seemed like forever for you to get home. It's outside. C'mon…" Sirius said, gesturing towards the cabin door.

Harry followed quickly, a grin plastered on his face. Sirius led him to the front porch to where Harry could see his surprise in clear view.

Harry's eye's widened shock as he looked down at the amazing sight. "No way! Is this your motorbike?"

"Yup. Got it back from Hagrid this morning," Sirius replied, descending the steps and approaching the bike where it was parked. "He's been keeping it safe for me all of these years."

He ran his hand down the bike's lines, admiring the coolness of the metal and texture of the leather seats. It was quite beautiful for such an awesome piece of machinery; a luxurious combination of black, bright blue, and polished chrome. Spectacular. A real collector's item.

Harry quickly followed and imitated Sirius by running his hands along the frame as well. "Can we go for a ride?" Harry asked excitedly.

"You read my mind…"

"Yes!" Harry hooted, jumping in the air with enthusiasm. "Are we going to fly?"

"Of course," Sirius replied, chuckling now. "But we both need a something special first."

Sirius walked up to the porch and retrieved the leather jackets from where he had stowed them on one of the chairs. He didn't want to tell Harry, but he had gone back to the store where he had been eyeing them during their shopping trip in London… the very same one in which Harry had that encounter with his uncle. Sirius had planned all along to get his motorbike back from Hagrid and he had wanted to make the matching leather jackets a surprise for Harry. He had been entranced by the pretty lady at the store, but the jackets were the real reason Sirius had left Harry alone for so long. He regretted that decision now. Things may have turned out differently if he had never left Harry alone.

He had gone back to the store earlier this week to make the purchase. Thankfully, because of the obliviation charm Tonks used, the sales lady had not recognized Sirius.

Walking back towards Harry, he could see that his godson was beyond excited now. He held the smaller jacket out to Harry and put on his own.

Harry looked up at him in awe. Sirius knew he looked like a bit of a bad ass with his worn jeans, studded boots, and leather jacket. But he didn't care; he liked it. His black hair had grown long again this summer and Sirius loved the way it looked with this image. Returning from Limbo had been kind to him, erasing the effects that Azkaban had tolled on his body and restoring his youthful good looks. He suddenly felt much like he did sixteen years ago, before his life suddenly changed forever.

Harry must have realized he was staring and looked away. He quickly put on his own leather jacket, admiring the way it looked on his body. "This is so cool. Thanks!" he said excitedly.

Sirius smiled again, soaking up Harry's enthusiasm. His emotions were so genuine and pure when he wasn't guarding them with the walls he put up around him.

"No helmets?" Harry suddenly asked, looking around the motorbike like he had somehow missed them.

Sirius thought that this was an amusing question and laughed at his godson. "Do you wear a helmet when you fly?" he asked.

"Well… no… but I'm on broom then…"

"Well, neither do I. Don't worry… we won't fall or anything… and if we have engine trouble I can always spell a large net and suspend it between the trees to catch us before we smash into the ground." Sirius loved having Harry on sometimes.

"Oh, nice mental picture. Thanks!" Harry scoffed.

Sirius and Harry both laughed easily.

"Well, hop on," he said to Harry, gesturing towards the bike.

Harry grinned and swung a leg over the bike, gripping the handlebars. "I can't wait! Is it like flying a broom?"

"Er… kind of… not really… it feels a lot of heavier beneath you than a broom and it isn't as easy to maneuver… but this baby has raw power," Sirius replied.

"Hey, you forgot this," Remus called from the porch.

They both turned their heads to see him bringing down a picnic basket.

"Oops… sorry…" said Sirius, taking the basket from his friend.

"Did you make the lunch, Sirius?" Harry asked, looking somewhat apprehensive about what was inside of the basket.

"Yes, but I helped," Remus replied, winking at Harry.

"Oh, good," Harry replied jokingly.

Sirius looked properly insulted. "Hey! The sandwiches I made last time were… decent…"

Remus and Harry shared a knowing look and started laughing. Grumbling to himself about the pair always conspiring against him, Sirius shrunk the picnic basket and stowed it in one of the leather pouches that hung beside the seat.

"You wanna drive?" Sirius asked, looking down at Harry still positioned on the motorbike.

"Yeah… but maybe you should show me how it is done first," Harry replied, suddenly looking unsure.

"No problem, move back a bit."

Harry shifted backwards and Sirius mounted the bike in front of him. He then released the kickstand, turned it on, and revved the motor.

"You ready?" he asked.

Harry nodded, his eyes blazing with anticipation.

"Then you better hold on!" Sirius shouted behind him over the thunderous engine.

"Okay," Harry replied, wrapping his arms tightly around Sirius's wait.

"Have fun!" Remus said with a wave, as Sirius gunned the motorbike, propelling it forwards at an alarming rate.

Once they reached the appropriated speed, Sirius switched gears and the motorbike lifted off the ground. They rose steadily through the tall trees until finally they were flying just above them. Once they were clear, Sirius leveled off and took a moment to glance back at Harry.

His godson was grinning like a maniac and was looking down at the scenery around them.

"Can this thing go any faster?" Harry yelled to him.

That was exactly what Sirius wanted to hear. "Absolutely," he replied, shifting gears and gunning to the motor once again.

They flew for a long while at a dizzying pace. Sirius enjoyed himself as he expertly navigated dangerous turns giving Harry the ride of a lifetime. They were careful to stay near the woods surrounding the cabin and as close to the clearings as possible so that they could make an easy landing if necessary. They also made sure to steer clear of any Muggles, who also had cabins that dotted the countryside. Though it probably wasn't really necessary; the motorbike was equipped with a myriad of notice-me-not charms to keep unsuspecting Muggles from seeing the contraption flying through the air.

They did stop momentarily to switch drivers, and Sirius was surprise at how quickly Harry learned to drive the motorbike. He was as much as a natural to flying the bike as he was on a broom. Sirius was very impressed with Harry's skills and if possible he loved his godson even more in that moment.

When they finally grew tired and hungry, they lowered the bike to one of the clearings and came to a stop.

Sirius transfigured a picnic blanket from the grasses nearby and enlarged the basket of food. They dug in hungrily, eating the sandwiches that had been packed and quenching their thirst with bottles of pumpkin juice, spelled to stay cold.

Feeling warm and full, Sirius peeled off his leather jacket and rolled it up a bit and placed it behind him. Leaning back at the makeshift pillow, Sirius stared up at the clouds feeling quite content. Harry did the same, sighing peacefully before closing his eyes.

Life was good. Sirius was a free man. He had finally gotten a chance to get his motorbike back from Hagrid and had ridden his most prized possession once again. He was enjoying the fresh country air. His godson was resting beside him, looking more comfortable around him then he had since Sirius had returned from beyond the Veil. And all was well in the world. (He had decided not to think about Voldemort or the war right now). Sirius had not felt this "whole" in a very long time.

"Are you sleeping?" Sirius whispered, not wanting to wake his godson up if he were. He glanced over at Harry and watched his eyes flutter open.

"No… just relaxing…" Harry replied softly, though he let out a yawn.

"Would you like to hear some more stories about your parents?"

Harry nodded, and rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses.

"Has anyone ever told you about how James proposed to Lily?" he asked.

"No, how?" Harry asked, looking quite alert again. He sat up on his elbows and turned towards Sirius.

"Well… it's an interesting story… James knew he wanted to ask Lily to marry him, but he had no idea how to go about it… so the Marauders came up with a plan…"

"Oh no," Harry replied, having heard enough stories about the Marauders to know that when they were all involved, troubled always ensued.

"Oh no, is right!"

Sirius carefully explained how the Marauders convinced James that he should do something desperately romantic in his proposal or he had no hope of marrying Lily. They all decided that James should enact a scene from Lily's favorite Muggle play, _Romeo and Juliet._ On a beautiful warm summer evening, they put all of their planning into action. Sirius then described how they charmed the trees surrounding Lily's family home to sing a love song, though he can't remember what the tune is now, and then transfigured a bush beneath Lily's second story window into a trellis for James to climb up. Remus threw a few stones up at Lily's window to get her attention, and then hid with the others when she finally opened the window.

Bewildered by the trees swaying and singing around her home, she didn't even notice James below her. Armed with a ring box in one hand and a rose in his mouth, James clumsily climbed up the trellis. Lily screamed in fright when she finally looked down and saw the unknown dark figure jerkily climbing up her house. She took out her wand and stunned him immediately, thinking that it was a burglar. Poor James fell to the ground, breaking his left arm, just as the trees began wailing louder and louder. The other Marauders were having trouble controlling the spell and hadn't even noticed James fall in their panic to fix the situation before Lily's parents discovered what was happening.

Fortunately, the nosy neighbors who had come outside to investigate didn't realize it was the trees that were singing. The last thing the Marauder needed was to have their memories altered by the Ministry. In the end, Lily found James' efforts to be sweet despite how horribly it had gone wrong and she agreed to marry him. The funniest thing of all, however, was that the nickname Romeo stuck from that night on.

Harry smiled wistfully after the story, and seemed lost in thought as he thought about his parent's relationship.

Sirius also shared a few more stories about Harry's parents, watching as his godson's face filled with a mixture of happiness and sadness and regret each time. Although it seemed to pain him at times, Harry begged for more and more stories about his parents, anxious to hear about the people he had never known, but loved nonetheless.

When Sirius ran out of stories from off the top of his head and Harry had no other questions, they grew silent, both feeling somewhat tired now. It was quiet for a few moments as they each enjoyed the fresh breeze blowing across them and the beautiful scenery.

Sirius wasn't sure how to approach the subject, but he had been meaning to have another heart to heart with Harry about his past. He wanted to make sure that Harry knew he could talk to him about those sorts of things and he would never judge him.

"Do you want to talk about anything?" Sirius asked, feeling hesitant at first.

Harry looked over at him and asked, "Like what?"

"I don't know… I still feel bad about what happened when we went swimming the other day… you never talk about things like that," he said, trying to feel Harry out.

His godson's face darkened and he looked irritated. "That's because I don't like talking about all that. It's bad enough I have to talk to Remus nearly every other day about it all during our therapy sessions. I don't want to explain it to you too…"

"Oh," Sirius replied, feeling quite disappointed. He hated knowing that Harry could talk to Remus about the Dursleys but not him. He idly wondered how much Draco knew.

"_Probably everything seeing how close those two were,"_ Sirius thought.

Harry must have sensed Sirius's frustration and quickly said, "It's nice having someone I can be myself around. I feel more normal that way. And days like today help make me forget that any of that happened."

Sirius was glad that he was at least able to that for him, but he couldn't help but still feel sad that Harry wouldn't open up to him the same way he did to Remus. At least Harry could talk to someone about it.

And he understood completely, more than Harry would ever know. Sirius was also more comfortable talking to Remus in his own "sessions" than to anyone else. His friend certainly had a knack at putting you at ease and encouraging you to tell secrets that you would never tell another living soul.

Sirius understood the need for normality as well. He still suffered from horrific nightmares of Azkaban and his time in Limbo. He woke up most nights feeling completely bewildered, unaware of the time or what day or it was, still lost in the past. His mind played tricks on him and sometimes saw things that were not there when he awoke from a dream… haunting impressions of memories that the healers had not been able to piece together when they tried to repair his Swiss cheese like mind. Things had gotten better over time, but he knew he had a long way to go before he was completely healthy mentally.

He wasn't sure how much Remus had told Harry about his ongoing issues. He had taken great pains to hide it all from Harry, mainly using silencing charms and locking his door at night, but he was sure that Remus had mentioned something to Harry about it at some point. His nights held uncertainty, but thankfully his days held a certain amount of peace for him. Sirius strived for a level of normalcy during his waking hours, knowing that when darkness fell, his nightmares would begin again. But he felt like he could be himself around Harry, pushing all of his demons aside. Normalcy was a definitely a good thing.

"Thanks Sirius," Harry suddenly whispered.

"For what?"

"For not pushing me like everyone else does… for taking me out on your motorbike… for telling me about my parents… for spending time with me…" he whispered. "For giving me time…"

Sirius was surprised to hear that Harry was so grateful for all these things. Feeling genuinely appreciated, he replied, "You're welcome…"

Harry closed his eyes, looking quite peaceful again.

"I love you, kiddo…" Sirius whispered. "Always and forever."

"I love you too, Sirius…" Harry replied, his eyes still closed.

"And I'll always be there for you…"

"I know…"

Harry drifted off to a peaceful sleep, napping beside his godfather under his watchful gaze.

Sirius studied his godson carefully and couldn't help but notice how innocent Harry looked, despite the horrors he had gone through. He vowed to himself, once again, that he would never allow Harry to come to harm… ever again.

* * *

Today was one of the best days of Harry's summer. The weather had been absolutely gorgeous, even when he had gotten up an extra hour early to go for his morning swim the weather had been favorable. He had had a relatively decent Occlumency lesson with Snape and had even gotten a chance to visit with his boyfriend, Draco. And best of all, Harry had spent the better part of the day with Sirius, riding on his motorbike, learning about his parents, and napping in the fresh country air. And when the day seemed like it couldn't get any better, they arrive home to find a wonderful meal that Remus had prepared while they had been gone.

Today had been a good day.

Which was why it felt so unexpected when Harry woke up from a dead sleep in the middle of night with his scar burning.

He sat up quickly, feeling quite sick and dizzy. His scar burned painfully, even worse than before. Harry knew that he had to get Sirius or Remus. There was no telling when a vision might take hold.

Grasping his forehead in one hand, he pulled his covers aside and slid out of bed. He was only able to take a few steps before he collapsed to his knees, overcome by the intense pain. His head felt like it was splitting wide open.

Harry knew that he needed to start Occluding before it got any worse. He desperately tried to call up his center, the peaceful image of the cabin and the surrounding woods, in his mind. But the pain was just too great. He had never had to focus in such agonizing misery before. As hard as he tried, he simply could not hold the image long enough to block anything out.

He could feel himself falling forward, his hands catching himself before he hit the floor. He managed to lower himself to the hardwood floor, only to be overcome by waves of nausea and throbbing pain. Writhing on the floor now, he barely registered the person walking past his door call his name, before the vision took hold.

It was somehow different than before. Because Harry was still desperately trying to Occlude, the images that came through in his vision were somewhat muddled.

_Voldemort sitting on some type of throne in the middle of a cavernous room… _

_His most trusted Death Eaters delivering their latest reports…_

_The Dark Lord's fury at something that had gone wrong…_

_Torturing his followers for their failure almost to the brink of insanity…_

_Another Death Eater, young and obviously frightened from the way he was shaking, stepping forward to make his report…_

_Voldemort cackling wildly with glee… stating, "Watch her, but do not interfere. She may still have some usefulness…"_

Harry could feel himself sinking deeper and deeper into the vision and as much as he wanted to find out who they were talking about, he feared he might lose himself completely if he didn't break the connection. The pain had become overwhelming.

Taking deep steadying breaths, Harry focused on the image of Silver Lake. He thought about the cool waters and how they sparkled in the sunlight. He thought about the trees swaying overhead and the sounds of birds chirping nearby. Eventually, still breathing deeply, he was finally able to focus on the image completely and could no longer see or hear Voldemort or his Death Eater's activities.

"Harry! C'mon, kiddo… wake up!"

Harry suddenly opened his eyes wide and quickly moved away from the arms holding, unaware of his surroundings. When he realized that it had been Sirius that had been holding him, he slumped in relief. Even without his glasses he could see the worried look on the faces of Sirius and Remus. His godfather was sitting on the floor beside him while Remus stood in the door way, watching them closely.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked, creeping a bit closer to him.

Harry nodded, but rubbed at his scar, which still ached somewhat.

"Was it a vision?" he asked.

"Yeah," Harry replied, his throat feeling a bit scratchy.

Sirius reached out to him again and nearly crushed him in a fierce embrace. "That was rather scary. Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Harry muttered into his shoulder, returning the hug.

From this awkward position, smashed against his godfather's chest, he could see Remus still standing worriedly in the doorway. Harry idly wondered if by the look on his face if Remus wished that he were the one comforting him instead of Sirius, like he usually did, but Harry had to admit… this felt nice too.

Harry finally pulled back, and the pair moved to sit on the bed. Remus stepped forward now, probably sensing that he wasn't going to invade their privacy.

"I only got here just moments ago. Did you Occlude?" Remus asked worriedly.

Harry nodded, understanding his concern. They had been working all summer to get Harry to be able to block visions. "I finally was able to in the end, but it was really hard. Harder than I ever imagined. I never had to do it before while my scar was burning."

"So you got caught in the vision?"

Harry's head felt fuzzy and dull. He was having difficulty remembering what he had seen though it had happened only moments ago. "Yeah, but it was kind of blurry and muddled… like only bits and pieces were coming through…"

"Can you remember any of it?" Sirius asked, brushing a strand of hair out of Harry's face.

Harry leaned into his touch and thought about it carefully. "There was a Death Eater meeting of some kind… they were making reports and Voldemort wasn't happy with them… he tortured them I think…"

"Are they planning an attack?"

Harry thought about it for a moment, trying to analyze what he had seen. "I don't think so…"

"Well, do you know what was said?" asked Remus. "Think carefully."

"Not really. The only thing I really remember was this part at the end. Voldemort said, '_She may still have some usefulness…'"_ Harry relayed.

"_She may still have some usefulness?_ What does that mean?" asked Sirius, looking to Remus now.

"I have no idea," Remus replied, looking perplexed. "Do you Harry? Did they mention a name?"

Harry shook his head sadly; knowing that piece of information could have benefited the Order somehow.

"That could be just about anyone…" Sirius muttered, obviously disappointed.

Remus stepped a bit closer and gently caressed Harry's head. "How's your head?"

Harry tilted his head towards him, relishing all this parental comfort he was now receiving. "It still hurts," he admitted.

"I'll get you a headache potion," said Remus. "I'll be back in a moment."

Harry watched Remus leave the room and turned back to his godfather beside him.

"How did you know I needed you?" he asked.

"I happened to be walking by when I saw you fall on the ground. Even if I hadn't though, your screams were enough to wake the whole house," Sirius tried to say light heartedly.

"Oh," Harry replied, feeling a little embarrassed. He had repeatedly asked them both to put up silencing charms around this room so that he wouldn't wake them when he had another silly nightmare, but they had adamantly refused. Now he could see why. They needed to know when he had visions as well. "Sorry," he muttered.

"Don't be sorry. It's not like you have any control over when something like this is going to happen," Sirius insisted.

Remus reappeared in his room, holding a vial of potion. "Here," he said, handing Harry the potion.

He took it the vial and downed it instantly, ignoring the horrid taste in left in his mouth. Within in minutes his headache vanished completely.

"Since your vision didn't warn us of an attack, I think it is safe to assume that we can wait to inform the Order until morning. For now… I think we should all get some sleep," said Remus.

Harry felt a sense of panic rising within him. "I don't want to go back to sleep!"

"Harry, you probably should. You've barely slept a few hours," said Sirius.

"I'm fine. I took a couple of naps today. I don't need to sleep."

"Harry…"

"You don't understand! I can't sleep now!" Harry shouted, jumping up from his bed.

Sirius stared at him incredulously. "Why not?"

"Because I'll have a nightmare or something now. I'm too on edge. What if I have another vision?" he said rapidly, taking shallow breaths.

"It'll be alright, Harry, calm down…" Remus said reassuringly. "You've never had more than one vision during the night. I'm sure you'll be fine. You really need to rest."

"I can't calm down… you don't understand…" he said.

Sirius and Remus looked at one another, neither one quite sure what to say.

His thoughts were becoming a jumbled mess in his head. After such a peaceful day, all of his anxieties had come rushing back. He couldn't stop thinking about the vision. Feeling pain in his scar was always alarming, but actual visions were much worse. Seeing Voldemort's face always triggered other memories… terrifying memories and images of the Dark Lord that Harry would like to forget. And with them came the overriding knowledge that Harry would be the one that had to end it all. The prophecy had said as much. It was just too overwhelming.

And there was only one thing Harry wanted to do now… something horribly self-destructive to take away his anxiety. But he had promised himself he would never do that again. And now he was struggling with that desire.

The pressure inside his chest began to mount and it felt as though a panic attack was coming on due to all of the stress. He was near hyperventilation now, as his breaths became shallower.

"Harry-" Remus tried again.

"I'm not going to sleep!" he shouted again.

"Alright, you don't have to go to bed Harry. Calm down!" said Sirius.

"Can't-" Harry said breathlessly.

Remus eyed him carefully. "Are you feeling like you need to-"

Harry nodded before Remus could finish, not really wanting him to finish that sentence. Finally understanding his meaning, Sirius was now staring at Harry like he was at loss as to how to handle him. He looked to Remus desperately and Harry's guardian stepped forward.

"Deep breaths, now, Harry… c'mon," Remus said, placing his hands on Harry's shoulders. "Try to remain calm…"

Harry did as he was told, but it was a few minutes before he could control his breathing completely.

Sensing what Harry wanted to do, he asked, "Do you want your journal?"

Harry shook his head, still trying to fight the urge to cut. "No… it's not going to help…"

"What would help?" asked Remus.

"I need to get my mind off all of this. I can't go back to sleep until I do…" he moaned desperately.

Remus looked into his emerald green eyes thoughtfully. "I have an idea…"

"What?" asked Harry.

Remus looked at both Sirius and Harry and said, "Get your swimsuits on."

"What?" they both exclaimed.

"You heard me… get your bathing suits on. We're going for a midnight swim."

Sirius and Harry looked at Remus incredulously, but followed orders, even if it were with confused mumbles of protest. Once they were all ready, the threesome walked out to Silver Lake. It was nearly impossible to see outside the cabin at night so Remus magicked several spheres of light to guide their way. The night air was cold and they shivered against its chill.

He watched as Remus and Sirius jumped into the water off the end of the dock and quickly followed. Harry wasn't sure if he really felt in the mood to swim, but he knew he had to keep busy… keep his mind off unpleasant things. So he had agreed, even if somewhat reluctantly.

He joined Sirius and Remus bobbing in the water and before long felt himself beginning to calm somewhat. The water was much warmer than the night air and the combined effect was crisp air and tepid water was oddly refreshing.

Harry had just felt himself starting to relax after a long while, when a pine cone hit his head. He figured it had fallen out of a tree but looking up, Harry could find no trees above him. Glancing around he discovered that Sirius had found a few floating in the water near the shore, and was getting ready to chuck another at him.

"Hey! Watch it!" Harry said irritably, as another hit him in the shoulder.

"You gonna stop me?" Sirius said playfully.

Harry looked at Remus beside him and saw his guardian wink. He watched as Remus swam over to the dock, grabbed his wand from where he had laid it, and pointed it at the trees. With a well aimed spell he had sent nearly a hundred pine cones flying towards Sirius's head.

"Hey, no fair using magic!" Sirius exclaimed as he was pummeled by pine cones from above. "This means war!"

Sirius came stalking towards Remus and Harry, splashing great handfuls of water at them.

"Hey… I didn't… do it…" garbled Harry, through mouthfuls of water splashing him in the face.

He turned on Sirius in retaliation, splashing him with all of his might as he steadily drew closer. He was so keen on getting back at this godfather that he soon began to forget what it was that had brought him out there in the first place. When Remus distracted Sirius by splashing him again and Harry saw his opportunity when Sirius wasn't looking. Harry jumped on his back, dunking him under the water.

Before he realized what was happening, Sirius had gotten a hold of him and lifted Harry straight out of the water, high over his head. He then threw Harry with a great heave into the deeper end of the water.

"Ahhh!" Harry screamed, before taking in a deep breath of air.

Harry somehow had expected this when Sirius had picked him up, and already had a plan in place. Instead of rising out of the water right away he decided to swim towards them under water.

Neither Sirius nor Remus could see him in the darkness and they quickly grew worried when he hadn't resurfaced right away. He had become a stronger swimmer over the summer, but that didn't mean they hadn't stopped worrying about him.

"Harry?"

"Harry!" yelled Remus, moving towards where he had last seen Harry.

In the dark water, he felt Remus draw near. He had originally planned to go for Sirius, but this was somehow better. Reaching out Harry yanked Remus's bathing suit down to his knees before popping out of the water, taking in a deep breath.

"Harry!" Remus yelled indignantly. Both Sirius and Harry were roaring with laughter now. "You're going to pay for that!"

Harry swam away in retreat laughing all the while. Who knew that their childish antics out here tonight would help him forget all of that stress and worry?

They played and swam and laughed until they were all exhausted completely. And when they were thoroughly water logged they retreated back to the house.

They used drying charms before entering the cabin and spelled a roaring fire in the fireplace to help take off the chill. With empty mugs of hot chocolate in their hands the threesome fell asleep easily, snuggled against one another under warm blankets with their feet propped up on the coffee table; each one relishing the comfort of their family members.

Fortunately, Harry did not have another vision or nightmare that night. And neither did Sirius.

A/N: I hope you liked Sirius's POV; we haven't seen it in awhile. Again sorry for the long wait. I hope this chapter was worth it.

A/N2: I'm still unsure about the whole reviewer response things, so please accept this simple shout out to all my loyal reviewers. Forgive me for not keeping up with my half of our conversations, but I would still love to hear from you.


	19. Prelude to the Unexpected

A/N: I apologize for my extended hiatus in writing this story. I know it's been over a year since I updated last. Check out my bio for more details if you're really curious. I hope I haven't lost too many of my readers, and that those of you who have chosen to give this story another chance like what you see. As promised, I do plan to see this story through to the very end even if it takes me a while. And I've finally decided that with everything going on that I would have to postpone writing for my other story _Shattered Illusions_, which is my own personal favorite, until the _Soulmate_ _Series_ is finished. It's just too hard to write for both at the same time, especially now. I hope you're all not too disappointed.

A/N2: I had planned a few transitional chapters before some of the drama ensues once again, but after such a lengthy hiatus I figured my readers would get fed up with me if I didn't move the story along. So I changed things a bit in my outline to give you one necessary transitional chapter, before things pick up again. (A lot of groundwork for future chapters takes place here as well as some recapping, though hopefully both are subtle). I hope you all like it.

A/N3: I reposted Chapter 18 and added a few things, nothing of importance, but you may want to reread it. It may help you to familiarize yourself with the story before reading this chapter. Also, there's a nice recap of the story in my author's notes there. Just as a reminder, this is AU and non-HBP compliant.

_**Don't forget to leave me a review! **_

* * *

**Chapter 19- Prelude to the Unexpected**

_A field of tall grasses lay before them, dotted by only the occasional tree, perfect for some low flying. It was peaceful out here, away from everyone else, and the couple reveled in its solitude. The buzzing of insects sounded like the earth itself was humming a slow, but happy tune. Wispy clouds painted the bright blue sky, flanking the hot summer sun, which was beating down on their backs. A warm wind blew across Draco's face, brushing his long blond locks aside as he idly flew alongside Harry 10 meters or so above the ground. _

_He took a sidelong glance at the love of his life, and smirked at the expression on his face. Harry looked quite content, something that Draco always took pleasure in seeing. He watched as Harry pulled ahead of him slightly, meandering back and forth in wide, lazy arcs._

"Hey, catch me if you can!" Harry suddenly shouted, glancing back over his shoulder at Draco. He then leaned forward on his broomstick increasing its speed abruptly and sped away.

_Never to be outdone, Draco leaned forward on his on broom and set after his boyfriend. "I'll get you Potter!" he yelled back playfully. "And when I do…"_

"_You'll what?" Harry asked, masterfully changing his direction so that he was now flying back towards him._

_Draco reached out for him as he flew past, but missed him completely. He lowered the nose of his Nimbus 2001 and spun around to chase after Harry again. They flew circles around one another, each one attempting bold moves to impress one another, as they flew higher and higher. Draco tried once more to catch Harry, but the dark haired teen had already maneuvered himself so that he was now diving towards the ground. Draco quickly followed suit._

_It wasn't long before their toes were skimming the tops of the grasses. Harry looked back at Draco again as his broom continued its descent, unaware of how close he had flown near a tree._

"_Watch out!" Draco called._

_But it was too late. Harry had narrowly missed the tree, but his toes had caught one of the roots that were protruding from the ground and he tumbled off of his broom._

"_Are you alright?" Draco asked, as he dismounted his own broom and kneeled down beside him._

_Harry was laughing at his own carelessness and was grinning broadly up at him. "Yeah."_

_Seeing that there was no harm done, Draco decided to straddle Harry's sweaty form and said, "Well, I caught you. Now what should I do with you…"_

_Harry shrugged uncertainly, but the seductive look in his beautiful green eyes told Draco that he wanted him just as much as he wanted Harry. He leaned forward for a kiss, when…_

"Draco?"

_Mmmmmm_…

"Draco!"

"Huh? What?" Draco asked feeling completely bewildered. He shot up in bed to see Molly with a load of laundry in her arms standing in the doorway.

"It's nearly noon. Were you taking a nap?" she asked, shifting the laundry basket from one hip to another.

Draco was grateful that the dream he had been having hadn't progressed any farther than that or else he would have had an embarrassing bulge in his pants to hide from Molly. He had had the reoccurring dream often enough to know how the events usually played out, and the ultimate affect it had on him.

"I guess I must have fallen asleep while reading," he replied, gesturing to the open book beside him. He had slept restlessly last night and had found himself rather exhausted as a result all morning. Harry had been on his mind a lot lately, more so than usual, and he couldn't stop thinking about what the future had in store for them, both the good and the bad.

"Oh, well I just wanted to let you know that Harry is here with Sirius and Remus. Seems he's had another vision and an Order meeting has been called."

"Oh," Draco replied, suddenly feeling disheartened. Harry's visions meant bad news, usually regarding an attack of some kind. He also knew how hard Harry and Severus had been working this summer to prevent these visions because of how badly they affected him. He prayed that Harry hadn't done anything drastic to cope, not that he really had in the past, but things were different now. "Thanks for letting me know."

Eager to see Harry, he jumped to his feet and began to straighten his clothes, trying to look more presentable. He ran his fingers through his hair as he glanced into the bedroom mirror, straightening any stray hairs that might have occurred from lying in bed too long. He didn't wear his blond hair gelled back anymore, but he still fretted over his appearance occasionally. Old habits die hard.

"I'm going to do a quick load before I join the Order for the meeting. Those blasted meetings always seem to last forever. Do you have any laundry, dear?" she asked, watching him with an amused expression on her face while he continued to preen. She then carefully stooped to pick up a few of Ron's things that lay about the floor and added it to her basket.

"Oh, that's okay… you don't have to… I can…" Draco began, loving and hating that this woman seemed to insist on taking care of him like he was one of her own. It still boggled his mind how he had gone from ridiculing the Weasley family to envying them so quickly. It made him question the relationship he had had with his own family… his own mother even, and the weird dynamics that had caused him to have such a twisted view of the world for so long. It was something that unsettled him greatly, especially in light of her disappearance.

Molly smiled. "It's my pleasure. Now hand it over." She knew perfectly well that Draco didn't have a clue when it came to laundering his things, as much as he insisted otherwise.

Draco nodded knowing by now that it was pointless to argue. He retrieved his laundry from the hamper and handed it to her in the laundry sack. "Thanks Mrs. Weasley," he replied, somewhat sheepishly.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Molly. I told you before that you can call me Molly."

"Thanks, Molly," Draco said again still feeling bit awkward that he was on a first name basis with her since he helped her when she was ill. She smiled warmly at him and then left him alone.

If it wasn't for her, he would probably look more like a beggar than anything else. Although he still owned a wardrobe full of once lavish designer clothing, his growth spurt over the last year had complicated matters greatly. He wasn't nearly as tall as Ron, but he now stood nearly a head taller than Harry. Nothing fit correctly anymore, and Molly had had to repeatedly lengthen everything and let out the seams. As a result his once fine clothes had since become worn and threadbare, despite the careful laundering. Draco had even found himself borrowing some of Ron's things on occasions, painfully swallowing his pride as he remembered all the times he had made fun of the red head in the past about his meager upbringing.

He could conjure clothing if he really wanted to, but those types of spells tended to be temporary and he didn't want to run the risk of finding himself naked in public if the spell wore off. Draco supposed that he should purchase some new things before school resumed, but he had spent what little money he still had on Harry's birthday present. As it was, he was probably going to have to borrow money from his godfather in order to pay for his school things in a few weeks. The Ministry was still refusing to release his family's assets that they had acquisitioned after the raid on Malfoy Manor last summer, leaving Draco nearly penniless despite his family's fortune. He could probably ask Severus for some money for new clothes, but his pride kept him from asking for help any more than he needed. He was no longer the selfish brat that he once was and he was still determined to prove it.

After checking his appearance in the mirror once more, Draco made his way downstairs to the living room hoping to find Harry. Seeing only Ron, Ginny, and Hermione, he opened his mouth to ask where Harry was but was cut off before he could get a single word out.

"Harry's talking with the Order in the kitchen. We got kicked out," Ron informed him, without even looking up from the Quidditch magazine he was browsing.

Draco opened his mouth indignantly to protest that wasn't what he was going to ask, but then closed it abruptly. Ron knew him too well now for Draco to pretend otherwise.

The blond walked over to the arm chair besides the fireplace and sat down heavily, observing the others. Ron was loudly flipping through the pages of his magazine. It appeared as if he wasn't really seeing anything that was written on the pages; he was just going through the motions. Hermione was knitting something or other, probably more clothing for her damn house elf rights organization she was always going on about, and Ginny was staring absentmindedly out the window. The tension in the room was heavy, and it was clear that each of them was trying not to think about what was happening in the Order Meeting, despite how much they wanted to speculate on it. They were clearly as worried as he was that there might have been another attack.

"Any idea what's going on?" he asked casually, trying not to let the fear he was feeling inside reveal itself in his voice.

"No clue. All we know is that Harry had another vision last night," Ginny replied, stroking Jinx who had curled up in her lap, her gaze never wandering from the window.

Draco nodded, knowing as much already. Then he thought about what she said and asked, "Last night? His vision was _last_ night? Why didn't they inform the Order sooner?"

"We don't know anything, Draco," Hermione replied, setting her knitting needles down. She then smiled at him sadly as if to reassure him. Although they all feared another attack, they also worried what this meant for Harry. "I'm sure Harry will explain everything when we see him."

Draco nodded again, resigned the fact that they would have to wait to find out what happened. Fortunately, they didn't have to wait long, because the dark haired teen suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"Hey," he said, alerting them all to his sudden presence.

"Harry!" they all said in unison, surprised to see him so soon.

Ginny, Hermione, and Ron jumped up and began asking him a barrage of questions, unaware that their voices had become a jumbled mess. Jinx left the room, obviously irritated by all of the sudden noise, probably in search of her friend Crookshanks.

Harry looked back and forth between each of them, clearly perplexed as to who to answer first and what was exactly asked. Glaring at them all, Draco grabbed Harry by the wrist and directed him over to the sofa. The others followed and settled themselves around them.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked, not having to state out loud what he was worried about.

Harry looked at him and sighed. "I'm fine," he replied.

Something about the way he answered made Draco question the validity of his response. Harry's recovery was still fragile at best since his relapse after his birthday. He quickly glanced down at Harry's arms to see if there were any tell tale signs that he had hurt himself again and realized that his long sleeves would have covered the evidence. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm okay," Harry stated, a little more firmly.

"What happened?" Ron asked eagerly.

Harry sighed again before explaining what had happened. "I woke up in the middle of the night with my scar burning. I could feel that I was about to slip into a vision so I tried Occluding, but I've never had to do it while my scar hurt. I had a hard time focusing, and a few details of the vision got through, but I managed to push it away in the end."

"That's wonderful, Harry," Hermione exclaimed. "This means that you're getting better at blocking Voldemort."

Harry nodded, but looked upset about it all just the same. Although Harry's visions had been invaluable in informing the Order of Voldemort's actions, there was a considerable risk in allowing the link between them to develop as they feared Voldemort may try to posses Harry again. As a result the visions had become both a blessing and a curse. Harry had protested continuing his Occlumency lessons with Snape in the beginning, but then reluctantly agreed that it was probably for the best.

"You said that a few details got through. What did you see?" Draco asked.

"Not much," Harry replied. "I couldn't remember much of it after it was over. I think there was a Death Eater meeting of some kind and that they were making their reports, but I didn't hear much of it because I was trying to Occlude… Voldemort was upset about something and he tortured a couple of them or something…but there is one thing I do remember clearly…"

"What is it?" Hermione asked.

"Well, the only thing I really remember was this part at the end of the vision where Voldemort said, '_She may still have some usefulness…'"_

"That's it?" Ron asked, sounding disappointed.

"Yeah, Ron. That's it! Would you have rather that I allowed myself to be overwhelmed by the vision completely and risk being possessed!" Harry shouted angrily, clearly tired of having to explain himself.

"Well, no of course not," he stated emphatically. "It's just… it's not much to go on…"

Harry groaned, as he dropped his head in his hands. "I know… that's what the Order said. It's why we waited until now to tell them. They looked pretty disappointed. Part of me wishes that I hadn't Occluded."

"Don't say that, Harry. You said it yourself. If you didn't Occlude, Voldemort could use your link to get to you, and then where would you be?" Ginny asked.

"I know, I know…"

"_She may still have some usefulness_… what does that mean?" Hermione asked, the gears in here head already turning as she mulled over his new information.

"Maybe he was referring a female Death Eater?" Ginny offered.

"Could he mean Bellatrix Lestrange?" asked Ron, sounding proud of himself for thinking of her

"Bellatrix? She wasn't captured during the battle in Dartmoor? Or in Hogsmeade last Halloween?" Ginny asked carefully, taking a sidelong glance at Draco, knowing that his own father had been among the Death Eaters that were captured. Draco looked away, unable to meet her concerned gaze. His father was still a sore subject with him as Lucius represented everything Draco had been conditioned to believe in, and had walked away from.

Harry shook his head. "No, I don't think so. Remus would have told us… told me… if she had."

They knew all to well that Bellatrix Lestrange had been the one responsible for Sirius falling through the Veil at the end of their fifth year. Harry had been so upset that he had chased after her and had tried to use an Unforgivable curse on her in vengeance. It hadn't worked all that well, and Harry had hated her ever since she escaped.

"Maybe," Hermione replied, nodding. "She has always been a loyal supporter… but wait, that doesn't make sense…" she said, shaking her head now. "_She may still have some usefulness_… that sounds more like someone that Voldemort might have dismissed originally, but has since reconsidered. I don't think that applies to Bellatrix. Her loyalty has never wavered."

Draco scoffed. "Dismissed? Voldemort doesn't dismiss or overlook or forget anyone! And he certainly doesn't have a forgiving nature! I doubt that's what he meant…"

"Well, I was just saying…" Hermione said defensively, her voice trailing off.

Harry sighed loudly, and rubbed his hands down his face. "Listen, I've already been through all of this with the Order. They are no closer to figuring any of this out than we are. It's not like we have much to go on, just a phrase taken out of context. We're not even sure of anything right now… so let's not dwell on it."

"You tired?" Draco asked Harry, still feeling a bit drowsy himself even after his midmorning nap.

"Yeah, I was up late last night," he replied.

"Because of the vision?" asked Ginny.

"Yeah," Harry replied, looking away.

Draco caught his gaze and gave him a concerned look. Harry gave him a look back that Draco took to mean, "_I'll tell you later!"_

"I wish I knew what was happening in the meeting," Ron said wistfully, gazing towards the hallway as if he expected someone to come inform them what was going on at any minute. "I don't understand why Mum won't let us join the Order. We're all of age… well, except Ginny of course…"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "You know Mum is just trying to protect us."

"I know… but she can't protect us forever… eventually we're going to have to get involved. I'm not going to allow Harry to have to face that monster alone!" Ron countered. Since they had learned about the prophecy regarding Harry and Voldemort a silent pact had been made that when everything went down that Harry would have his friends by his side.

"He won't have to," Draco said firmly.

"No he won't. He'll always have us," Hermione added.

"Thanks guys, but can we change the subject? It's getting pretty depressing in here," Harry pleaded.

"We could do some more school work, Hermione suggested, rising from her seat and making her way over to the table to begin sifting through the various seventh year texts that had accumulated there. She found whatever she was looking for and seated herself at the table.

"Hermione…" Ron groaned, clearly not interested in the idea.

"We've spent most of the summer studying all of the defense books Remus and Sirius gave us for training and have completely neglected our studies. School resumes in just a couple of weeks. Don't you want to be prepared?" she asked.

"She's right," Harry replied. "I haven't even started my History of Magic assignment. And I know you haven't either, Ron."

Ron rolled his eyes; he had never been big on studying during the summer holiday. He'd much rather spend his time doing something else. Anything else, really.

"Alright, let's get to it," Draco began as he joined Hermione at the large table that had been placed on the far side of the room for this very purpose. "It's not like we have anything else to do, but wait. You can borrow my HOM text, Harry."

"Thanks," he said, grabbing the book and plopping himself down in one of the available chairs.

They spent the next hour or so wading through their various assignments. Ron was having a more difficult time than the others and seemed to give up easily. He was whining incessantly and seemed to generally be having a difficult time with the seventh year texts.

"Who writes these things anyway? I swear that they're written in gibberish. I don't know how you all make sense of any of that," Ron complained, jumping up from the table to stretch for a bit. He began to wander around the room, seeming to look for an excuse not to study.

"Ronald, if you'd just sit and focus…" Hermione began, but then thought better of it. She knew how difficult her boyfriend could be at times.

Draco couldn't help but smirk at the pair. Hermione was able to understand Ron in everyway except when it came to school work. She seemed to have trouble understanding why he couldn't pick up everything as easily as she did.

Surprisingly, Draco had come to enjoy Hermione's company, since she arrived at Number 12 Grimmauld Place this summer. He had always thought of her as an annoying little know-it-all at Hogwarts, but after banding together with her and Ron in helping Harry resurrect his godfather and spending time with her these last couple of weeks, he realized why Ron and Harry cared about her so much. She was friendly, caring, trustworthy, and loyal; everything that a true friend could ever be.

Her dedication to her studies, although irritating at times, was laudable. She was still the top of their class, much to Draco's dismay. He had always been an excellent student- mostly because of father, who had a need to have his son be absolutely perfect at everything he did- but he never seemed able to surpass Hermione's efforts. His attempts to appease his father when he was younger largely went unnoticed. Unless he was the best, Lucius wanted nothing to do with him.

"Hey, look what I found!" Ron shouted gleefully, as he tossed the beach ball he had discovered peaking out behind one of the curtains into the air.

"You found a ball. Well done, Ron," Ginny mocked her brother.

"Why is there a beach ball in the living room?" Hermione asked, watching her boyfriend as he played a little game with himself. It could only be described as "_Keep-the-ball-in-the-air-and-dive-like-wild-when-necessary-to-prevent-ball-from-touching-the-ground."_

"Don't know... must be left.. over... from…. Harry's. party," said Ron said in between bumping and tapping the inflated ball repeatedly back up in the air. Apparently he couldn't do both at the same time. "I think its how… Dumbledore got everyone… here… portkey…just a ball now…"

"That looks like fun," Harry commented, attempting to get up from his chair and join his friend.

"Oh, no you don't," said Draco, grabbing Harry's wrist. "You have an essay to finish."

"Spoil sport!" Harry replied, sticking out his tongue childishly.

Suddenly Ron lost control of the ball and it bounced off his sister's head.

"Ow! Ron!" Ginny complained.

"Oh that didn't hurt!" he replied, chasing after his ball. Once he had retrieved it, his game resumed.

"Ron, please stop. It's distracting," Hermione complained.

"Fine," Ron replied, clearly irritated as he sunk back into his seat at the table and tossed the ball into the corner of the room.

Draco watched as the red head finally grabbed a quill, pulled the parchment that had his half written essay on it towards him, and glanced back at this textbook looking perplexed as to where to begin.

"What are you working on?" Draco asked.

Ron looked at him stupidly. "My History of Magic assignment, duh."

"I know that… what you writing about?"

"Oh. I decided to focus on the rise and fall of the Goblin Rebellion of 1180 AD, but I can't seem to find any facts to support theory that the strategies they used in each of their battles were comparable to… what?" Ron asked, when he realized was Draco was staring at him strangely.

"I don't get why you're having so much trouble. You're obviously knowledgeable on the subject," Draco reasoned.

"Well, I do listen to Professor Binns…" Ron began.

Hermione gave him a look as if to state she thought otherwise.

".. occasionally… when it's actually interesting. I just have hard time making sense of the textbook. It's so dry and boring and confusing."

"My thoughts exactly," said Harry, twirling his quill between his fingers.

"Hermione, could you help me again… pretty please…" Ron pleaded.

"Ron, I've pointed you to the chapter you need to reference and given you my notes. What more do you want from me? I'm not going to write it for you," she said angrily, clearly frustrated with him.

Draco sighed when he realized that he could probably help Ron out. It appeared as if he had some sort of learning disability- something he was all too familiar with having been accompanied by Crabbe and Goyle for so many years. He had on more than one occasion helped the two oafs with their school work and he imagined he could help Ron as well. The boisterous teen clearly could understand and retain information if he heard it orally, but didn't seem able to possess the strategies necessary to weed through the enormous amount information in their textbooks.

"Maybe I can help?" he offered.

Ron looked at him skeptically at first and then reluctantly replied, "Alright."

Draco spent the better part of the next half an hour showing Ron how to use reading/revising strategies to make sense of what he was reading and how to transfer that information into his own words to add to his essay. He could feel the others watching them occasionally, but he tried to ignore it. For whatever reason, Draco apparently had a knack for explaining things in a way that made Ron feel at ease. Draco had wanted to help him out in the past, but their relationship hadn't really reached a point that he felt comfortable doing so until now. Besides, school work had always been more of Hermione's territory.

Hermione leaned over and whispered to him when the others were distracted. "Thanks for helping him," she said appreciatively. "I just get so frustrated sometimes…" Then she added, "You'd make a really great teacher."

Draco hadn't expected her to say that and felt taken aback. "Thanks." Teaching was career choice he had considered once before in passing, but had never voiced allowed. He promised himself that he would only allow himself to think about such a dream when this war was finally over. Until then, he had other matters that were more important to focus on.

A short while later, found the five friends feeling quite dull. Ginny had finally disappeared up to her room at some point, Hermione was reading a rather large book in the armchair in the corner of the room, and Draco, Harry, and Ron were putting the finishing touches on their essays for History of Magic. Actually, Draco and Harry were proofreading their essays. Ron had fallen asleep with his head resting on the textbook, snoring softly, after finally having finished his own.

Tired of sitting around all day, Draco finally got up to stretch and take a break. He blew the hair out of his eyes, feeling quite bored and a little surly. "Want to go out to the garden a bit?" Draco asked Harry, sounding hopeful.

"Sure," Harry said, grabbing the hand Draco had offered to help him up.

"Oy! Where are you two going?" Ron asked, finally waking up and looking up at them blearily.

"Out to the garden. We're tired of studying," Harry replied.

"Merlin! Can't you two do anything without each other?" Ron asked irritably, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Harry.

"Well, it would be nice if you spent some time with your best friends once in a while. I wonder sometimes that if Draco wasn't living here if we'd see you at all this summer," he replied bitterly.

Harry looked thoroughly offended. "What? That's not true! It's not like that!"

"Well, it sure feels like it," Ron mumbled.

Hermione scowled at her boyfriend from where she was sitting. "Ron, don't be mean!"

"I'm not! You were just saying the other day how nice it would be to spend some time alone with Harry."

Hermione shot daggers at Ron with her eyes before looking up at the confused pair. "I'm sorry, Harry," she said, her expression softening somewhat. "It's just that… we miss our little trio sometimes."

"That's hardly fair," Draco butted in. "You and Ron and are a couple too. Wouldn't that make Harry a third wheel when you hang out?"

"It's not like that," Harry said softly.

"Fine! Whatever… that still doesn't mean that they should be upset with you just because you have an opportunity to hang out with your friends and your boyfriend at the same time," Draco argued.

Harry sighed deeply. "They're right though…"

"Huh?"

"I haven't once spent any time alone with them this summer. No offense Draco, but they are my best friends. We've been through a lot together… and with everything else going on it didn't even occur to me…" Harry broke off looking quite sad.

Draco was quite offended. He liked to think of himself as Harry's best friend now, since they confided in each other more than anyone else. He hated that the title still belonged to another. He was about to say as much when Ron spoke up.

"Forget it Harry. It was a dumb thing to say," he said, looking remorseful. "I didn't really mean it anyway. I'm just irritable from working all day. No hard feelings okay?"

Harry nodded, but it was clear that he was feeling bad about neglecting his friends.

"C'mon," said Draco, grabbing his hand and hauling Harry out of the room and towards the back door. In the background they could hear Hermione scolding Ron for being so insensitive.

He dragged Harry out into the bright sunshine and made their way to the corner of the garden to their "spot." They both plunked down on the bench swing that had been brought over from the Burrow when the Weasleys moved into headquarters. The cool shade of the large maple that loomed over head made it a cooling retreat from the hot summer sun.

"Don't listen him. He's just being a prat. He's always grumpy when he wakes up," said Draco, hoping to make Harry feel better.

"I know," he replied, rubbing his eyes.

"Still tired?"

Harry shrugged. "Eh. Sort of."

"You weren't up late because of the vision, were you?" he asked, still curious from earlier.

"No. I was up late swimming," Harry stated, smiling softly.

"Swimming? At night? Isn't that a bit dangerous?"

"Well, Remus and Sirius were with me."

"But why?"

Harry was quiet for a bit. "It was Remus's idea. I needed the distraction. Alright?"

"Alright," Draco replied, getting the hint that Harry didn't want to talk about it any further. If Harry had hurt himself again, Draco felt confident that he would have told him by now. They sat quietly for a few moments, swinging idly back and forth, each one trying to think about something else to talk about.

"I know of some other ways to distract you," Draco finally whispered. Feeling bold, he leaned towards Harry and placed a chaste kiss on his neck.

"Oh really…." Harry whispered back as he titled his head to allow Draco better access.

Draco kissed his way up Harry's jaw line and said, "Really."

The pair enjoyed their few moments of peace as they continued to kiss one another softly, knowing that they couldn't really go any further without risking someone seeing them. It was enough, for now.

* * *

Remus leaned back in his chair as he surveyed the other Order members seated and standing around the kitchen table. There had been an uncomfortable break in the conversation sometime after Harry had left and no one knew exactly how to proceed next. As a result, various small groups began to talk amongst themselves, which is what usually happens when groups of people feel the need to fill the silence.

The Weasley family, minus a few members, was seated at one end of the table and was engaged in some sort of conversation regarding Percy. Sirius was questioning Shacklebolt and Moody about what he had missed while he was away for a year, feeling quite certain that Remus had left something out. Hagrid, who was squashed in one corner of the kitchen to make room for the others, was attempting to dissuade an irritated looking Snape from using boomslang skin in his potions because he felt that the poor snakes were treated inhumanely when bred in captivity. Minerva was scolding Mundungus for whatever miscreant deed he had done now, while most of the other Order members were anxiously speculating Voldemort's latest intentions.

Besides Remus, there were only two other Order members that had kept to themselves. Dumbledore was leaning forward with his elbows on the table and his fingers steepled, deep in thought, while Tonks was quietly doodling on a piece of parchment in front of her, too exhausted from her long shifts as an Auror to put much effort into conversing with anyone else as she normally would.

The Order had just spent several hours discussing business and had been trying to determine their next course of action in regards to Voldemort. They had seemed as perplex as he had been about the vision that Harry had had last night, which had brought about the sudden break.

"_She may still have some usefulness…"_

The cryptic message from the vision didn't mean anything more to him now than it had late last night when Harry had first told him and Sirius about it. At first Remus had wanted to report the vision to Dumbledore immediately, but after seeing the distress Harry was in because of it, he knew that it was more of a priority to make sure that his "cub" was okay. Now that the Order had been informed, he no longer felt guilty about waiting. Their response had been much like his own… utter bafflement.

On the table before them lay various documents containing lists of names of known Death Eaters, maps of their possible comings and goings, as well as conjectures as to Voldemort's motives and locations of possible attacks. The information did little good to them, however, as it has been impossible to determine who the "_she_" was that was mentioned in Harry's vision. Much of this information had been gathered by Percy Weasley, who was their contact at the Ministry of Magic because of his close ties to Fudge and his ability to get inside information.

Percy had done his best to keep the Order informed of the Death Eater's movements around Europe after his reunion with his family this past Christmas. The detailed maps he had created were amazing, but unfortunately the enemy never stayed in one place long enough to be captured. Percy had inside connections at the Ministry that enabled him to be privy to information that some of the aurors in the Order were not. It was because of his position in the Minister of Magic's office that he was allowed access to almost anything they needed. Unfortunately, his unique position was also quite dangerous, which is why his family was so concerned about his safety. He had not been allowed to attend Order meetings, not because he wasn't trustworthy, but because they feared that he may tortured or cursed for information if he was ever outed.

Voldemort's actions were confusing to say the least. After the attack in Dartmoor in late spring, there had been a steady stream of attacks. Voldemort had been relentless, and his numbers continued to grow as more and more people joined his ranks in fear that their families would perish if they didn't. The attacks had tapered off for awhile until the recent attack in South Yorkshire a few days ago.

Harry had been having visions nearly every night during the beginning of summer, and they had fortunately had been able to prevent a lot of deaths. Despite this, most everyone in the Order agreed that it was better that Harry learned Occlumency to prevent the visions from occurring, for obvious reasons.

After his quiet contemplation, Dumbledore finally cleared his throat to gain the attention of his fellow Order members. Only those nearest him quieted down and resumed their seats. Dumbledore cleared is throat once more, a little louder this time. The rest of the group quieted down and gave the eldest member their undivided attention.

"I fear that there is nothing more to be done this evening. Any last thoughts?" the aged wizard asked, glancing around the room. "Severus, you look troubled. Is there something on your mind?"

Snape raised his eyebrows in surprise, clearly not having expected to be addressed all of a sudden. "I'm concerned. I feel that there must be something or someone we're overlooking that would make Potter's vision comprehensible. I wish my position within the Dark Lord's ranks hadn't been compromised. Perhaps then I would have been able to offer some intelligence that could shed some light onto this situation," he replied, looking quite pensive.

Remus watched as his colleague glanced down at his forearm which he was gripping in his other hand, where his Death Eater tattoo had once been. Although its removal had been necessary to prevent Voldemort from torturing him from afar for his treachery, Snape still felt discomfort at times because of the residual dark magic that could not be removed. Remus wondered if the tattoo was bothering him now, or if he was simply regretting the fact that he could no longer work as a spy. Regardless, his expertise had proven invaluable to the Order of the Phoenix time and time again.

"I understand, Severus, but it does not bode well to dwell on things we cannot change," Dumbledore replied. "We can only hope that we'll figure out this latest enigma before it's too late."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Well, it is time for us to depart friends. Remember your missions and keep us informed. Thank you again for devoting your time and energy to a higher cause," said Dumbledore, rising from his seat.

The other Order members followed suit and began to make their departures.

"You're all welcome to stay for dinner," Molly shouted above the sudden din of noise as Order members began Apparating and flooing away. She began searching through the cupboards now that there was more room to maneuver around the kitchen.

"Thank you, Molly, but I really must be going," said Dumbledore, grabbing a handful of floo powder and gesturing to Severus, Minerva, and Hagrid to follow him. "There is much to do to prepare for the beginning of the school year."

"Remus? Sirius? Won't you and Harry stay for dinner?" she asked, using her wand to cast a spell to magically stir whatever she had thrown in a pot on the stove and cast another to start chopping vegetables on a cutting board.

"No thank you, Molly. You have your hands full with your own family. Besides, it's Sirius's night to cook," Remus replied, smiling at his friend knowingly. "I'm dying to see what he makes."

"You know, I am capable of making more than just sandwiches, old friend," Sirius replied.

"And what pray tell is on the menu tonight? Canned soup warmed through?"

Sirius looked offended. "No! Well… not now ! I'll come up with something great, you'll see."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay," Molly asked, looking quite sympathetic.

"We'll manage, I'm sure," he replied, clapping Sirius on the shoulder. "Come on. Let's gather Harry and be on our way."

"Alright. Have a good evening," said Sirius, nodding to Arthur and the twins, who were seating themselves again at the table.

The pair made their way upstairs and ran into Harry and Draco, who appeared to be coming in from the garden.

"So, did you figure anything out?" Draco asked.

"Yeah, did you figure anything out?" asked Ron, suddenly appearing in the hallway with Hermione in tow.

"Unfortunately, no," Remus replied, hating the look of disappointment that had crossed all of their faces.

"Oh… that's too bad. Are we leaving now?" Harry asked.

Sirius nodded as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah. Apparently it's my night to cook."

"Uh-oh," said Harry, glancing at a smirking Draco beside him.

"Hey! Watch it! I'm not that bad!"

"Whatever you say," said Harry, leading them all to the fireplace in the living room, picking up his school assignment on the way, and giving Hermione and Ron a little wave to let them know he was leaving now.

"Well, I guess I will see you later," said Harry to Draco before turning his attention to Ron. "And I'll invite you and Hermione over soon, okay?"

"Don't worry about it, Harry. It was a dumb thing to say," Ron said earnestly.

"All the same, I'd still like to spend some time with you," Harry replied.

Ron and Hermione nodded, smiling at one another. Draco, however, was clearly not amused.

Remus watched as Harry then leaned over and kissed Draco on the cheek, something he had never felt comfortable enough to do in front of them before. Remus could feel Sirius bristle beside him. He was still adjusting to Harry's sexual orientation and his relationship with Draco.

"Bye," said Draco quietly, looking quite red in the face.

"Bye," said Harry, grabbing a handful of floo powder. He quickly called out the name of his home, and Sirius and Remus followed.

* * *

"Merlin! I'm starving!" Ron complained stomping down the stairs as he patted his growling stomach. Studying always seemed to make him ravenously hungry.

"I swear, all you think about sometimes is your stomach," Hermione commented, following Ron and Draco down the stairs to the kitchen for dinner.

"That's not true. I think about Quidditch. And I think about you," said Ron, winking at her mischievously, knowing exactly how to get Hermione going.

Hermione blushed and giggled before shaking her head in disbelief and muttering something that sounded like "_Boys_!"

Draco made a gagging sound in disgust and pushed past them to have a seat at the table.

"Aw little Ronniekins is in love," said a familiar voice.

Ron glanced towards the table and found identical freckled faces staring back at him making mock "_goo-goo_" eyes.

"Fred? George? When did you two get here?"

"He's been thinking about Hermione," said one of the twins, ignoring Ron's question and using a babyish voice.

"And it was probably impure thoughts," added the other.

"Boys! Stop it now!" their father scolded, noticing Hermione and Ron's discomfort as they seated themselves at the table, beside Draco.

"Aw, we're just having fun," said George. "It's been far too long since we have had the chance to take the mickey out of our little bro."

"Dinner's almost ready dears. Help yourselves to some bread while I finish it up," said their mother, placing a basket of rolls in the middle of table.

Not a second was wasted before each family member began grabbing a roll for themselves, knowing all too well how quickly they seemed disappear. Draco waited until the others had taken their own and began buttering it before reaching out to take one for himself. He was still oddly quiet at meal times. Ron figured by now that he would be used to their boisterous family, but he still kept to himself. He wondered if it was a Slytherin thing, or if it was because of how Draco was raised.

"Hey," said Ginny, as she joined her family at the table, only mildly surprised to see the twins there.

"Hey," her older brothers responded through a mouthful of bread.

"Well, help yourselves," said their mother, placing the rest of the meal she had whipped up on the table and seating herself across from their father. The usual clamor of dinner conversation began as they all tucked in.

"This looks wonderful, Molly," said their father, as he began adding each item to his plate and passed each dish around the table.

Draco and Hermione nodded in agreement as they helped themselves.

"Thanks, it feels good to be all together like this doesn't it?" she replied. "One big happy family."

"Charlie and Bill aren't here," Ginny added, grumpily. Of all the siblings, she missed her eldest brothers most. "And neither is Percy."

There was a moment of silence after the mention of Percy's name. Although he had been forgiven for his break from the family, there was still some animosity towards him.

"Yes, well, that can't be helped… we're all here, and that's what matters…" Ron's father added. And with that, the normal loud conversations began once again.

Returning to Hogwarts seemed to be on everyone's minds as it was the main topic of conversation for most of the meal. Ginny was pleading with her parents to buy her another new set of robes before school began, and Draco and Hermione were discussing what classes they would be taking next year to prepare for their NEWTs. The twins, meanwhile, were regaling anyone who would listen about all of their new products available at their shop.

Ron grabbed the bowl of mashed potatoes and added another generous helping of it to his plate before setting back down. He almost always took seconds of everything. "So what are you two doing here?" Ron asked, glancing at the twins across the table from him. He hadn't spoken to them much since he noticed their arrival. He missed his brothers fiercely, but he couldn't also help feeling rather suspicious of their sudden appearance.

"It's nice to see you too, Ronniekins," said Fred.

"Can't your handsome older brothers come to visit the family?" said George.

Ron rolled his eyes. "That would be a first. Since you opened the joke shop we haven't seen either of you."

George looked truly offended. "That's not true. We came to Harry's party!"

"Okay, so there was one exception. What are you doing here now? Not looking to experiment on anyone are you?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"Maybe, maybe not," Fred replied cryptically.

Ron and Ginny both began glancing around the table to make sure there weren't any suspicious sweets or traps hidden anywhere among the dishes. They knew all too well not to trust this dynamic duo.

"Maybe we came because we missed mum's fine cooking," offered George, as he took a large spoonful of potatoes and shoved them into his mouth animatedly. Their mother looked over at him with an annoyed expression on her face at first, but then she smiled at him appreciatively. "Or maybe we came to see our new blond little brother!" he said, reaching over to ruffle Draco's hair affectionately.

Draco instinctively ducked, not really sure how to handle the situation. When he realized what they had said, he blushed furiously and gave a smirk. They all knew how much he longed to be apart of their family even if he had never said as much. It probably meant a lot to him that George acknowledged him as a surrogate brother, seeing as he was still adjusting to living with them and calling Grimmauld Place home. Ron was still watching Draco's reaction, when he was pulled out of his thoughts.

"And our bushy haired _sister_," Fred added, reaching out to ruffle Hermione's hair, but she ducked just in time.

Ginny sniggered behind her hand and Ron finally caught on to what she was thinking. "Ew… Hermione is _not_ our sister!"

"Aw… lighten up. We're just teasing… we know you like to think about her," said George, referring to Ron's earlier comment.

Ron shot him a dirty look, and turned to see Hermione laughing at him as well. He was about to say something to her about it, when she gave him a wink that he knew all to well.

"Actually we were asked to come for the meeting," Fred added nonchalantly, noticing that Ron was distracted.

It took a second for Ron to register what Fred had said. "Meeting? You mean the Order meeting? Why would they ask you to attend?" asked Ron, looking quite perplexed.

"Because dear brother-" the twins began, smiling at one another in a proud display. "-we are now members of the Order of the Phoenix."

Ron was absolutely indignant. "What? That's not fair! I'm of age now and mum won't let me join! How come you two got to?"

They both shrugged, looking indifferent about the situation, as if it were something that happened all the time.

"Ron, let it go…" Hermione began as she placed her hand on his arm, trying to reason with him before his temper got the better of him.

He shrugged her hand off his arm. "No! Mum? Dad? How come you let them join?" Ron asked furiously. "You said that we couldn't," he added gesturing himself, Draco, and Hermione.

"Now Ron… Fred and George aren't in school any longer. You all are. You need to focus on your studies a while longer," his father countered.

"But that isn't fair! They didn't even finish school!" Ron shouted, growing angrier by the second.

"Boys! Stop it now!" their mother tried. "You're ruining dinner."

"Hey, we're respectable businessmen! It doesn't matter that we didn't finish school!" George shouted in return. "Besides… we're of age."

"So are we!"

"You're just jealous," Fred added, sitting back with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Jealous? Hardly! I would wish for nothing more than to never worry about You-Know-Who. But this entire war depends on my best friend- Harry Potter- which in turn involves me and my friends. Don't you think we should be informed about what is going on!" Ron shouted, growing angrier by the second.

He had never felt more helpless than on last Halloween when he watched Harry be hit with the Avada Kedavra curse. He and the others had been stunned and if it weren't for Draco and the Solara Amicus spell, they would have lost Harry forever. Ron was not about to let that happen again. He had felt like a failure as friend then and he promised himself that he would do everything in his power to see that Harry survived this war. Being a member of the Order could only help that cause.

"Hey, don't be mad at us! It wasn't our decision!" George yelled, holding his hands up in the air defensively.

Realizing that his anger was truly misplaced, Ron turned towards his parents and stood up.

"I want to join the Order!" he demanded.

"Now Ron, we've discussed this before…" his father began.

"You're too young," his mother cut in tearfully. "Too young! I won't stand by and lose my family one by one. We almost lost Percy, and who knows is next. I can't stop your older brothers, but I can stop you. I said no and I won't change my mind!"

Tears rolling down her cheeks she backed away from the table and retreated to sink, crying softly.

"Now look what you've done," Ron's father said sadly, getting up to comfort his wife.

Ron felt bad about upsetting his mother, but that didn't change how he felt about the situation. "It's not fair… we need to be a part of this war whether you like it or not," he said, his voice barely a whisper now.

"We'll talk about this again later," his father added, as he wrapped his arms around his wife.

Ron knew all to well what that meant. "You can't protect us forever," he said, before retreating from the kitchen.

He didn't need to turn around to know that Draco, Hermione, and Ginny had followed him.

"You shouldn't have yelled at Mum like that. You really should apologize. She's only doing what she has to do to protect us," Ginny scolded him. She had her hands on her hips and was looking very much like their mother right now.

"I know," Ron admitted, feeling horrible now. "But it won't change how I feel."

"We'll find a way, Ron," Hermione said gently. "Even if we aren't Order members, we'll find a way to protect Harry."

"I hope so," said Draco, looking every bit as troubled as Ron.

They all nodded in agreement, forging their alliance once more.

* * *

A/N: Well, there you go. I hope you enjoyed the chapter after a year of waiting, even if it wasn't very eventful. The next chapter will be much more exciting, I promise, and this chapter's title will make more sense. I cannot promise, however, how often I will update. Simply know that I will finish this story, no matter how long it takes. 


	20. An Unlikely Refugee

A/N: I appreciated all the warm reviews and that many of you were excited for my return to writing. Thank you so much. Your kind words certainly fed my muse and I am full of ideas, eager to write them down. Now I just need to find the time. Hopefully you will all like this chapter. It's the one you've all been waiting for, and as promised Draco takes on a more prominent role for the rest of the story.

* * *

**Chapter 20- An Unlikely Refugee**

Harry felt the familiar pull of magic swirling around him as he was transported from one fireplace gate to another, flooing him home from the Order's Headquarters. Stumbling out of the hearth, he saw Remus and Sirius were sitting across from one another in the living room, their expressions somber and serious. He had heard them talking quietly as he arrived, but now they regarded him quietly. Their sudden silence was oppressive, and Harry couldn't help but feel like he was interrupting something. Feeling awkward, he quickly thought of something to say to ease the tension.

"I hate flooing. I really wish you'd just let me Apparate home from London," Harry muttered, coughing dryly to remove some of the soot he had inhaled upon his arrival, more for effect than anything else. He already knew the reason why it was forbidden. "I do recall getting my license this summer."

"It's too great a risk, Harry. You know that. I don't want you Apparating outside the wards surrounding the cabin unprotected," Remus replied, surrounding a little tired of giving this lecture. "Besides it's raining outside."

"Yeah, yeah. I know," he replied light heartedly, still hoping to ease the tension in the room.

It looked like they were in for quite a summer storm. The skies were lighting up with streaks of lightening and thunder was rolling in the distance. It had started raining a short while ago and it was literally pouring now.

Feeling rather sooty from his journey, Harry reached for his wand and then looked to his guardian for the okay to perform magic. Receiving a nod, Harry cast a spell to banish the soot from his clothing.

Harry moved towards them, wondering what was going on that these normally cheerful friends were so quiet and melancholy. From the way they were looking at him, Harry had the distinct impression that they might have been discussing him.

Before he could ask, Sirius suddenly stood up and said, "I guess I'll leave you two alone. I'm going to take a nap before dinner." And with that, Sirius gave them a sad smile and made his way upstairs.

It wasn't uncommon for Sirius to take naps at odd hours, often in his animagus form Padfoot, due to his inability to sleep at night. But Harry felt certain that here was another reason Sirius left them alone right now. Harry looked at Remus curiously, but only received a shrug in reply. Sometimes he felt that there was more going on then they were willing to tell him.

Harry made his way around the sofa and handed Remus his wand. Since his encounter with his uncle and his relapse in self-mutilation, Harry had only been allowed his wand during training and Occlumency lessons. Remus was still somewhat afraid that if Harry found himself in a situation where he was having trouble coping, that he might transfigure something to hurt himself like he had once before. It had already been a few weeks since the incident and Remus had yet to relinquish his wand to him. Harry hated having to ask permission to use it when he was of age now, but he knew it was only matter of time before Remus could trust him again and he could trust himself.

He flopped down onto the sofa across from Remus and crossed his arms like a petulant child, feeing somewhat irritable due to the headache he was now sporting. Harry had just returned from another Occlumency lesson with Snape. Like his more recent lessons with him, it had gone surprisingly quite well. He was quite efficient at blocking Snape out of his mind now as long as he focused. Meditating on the image of Villa de Luna each night before bed had helped him with that. Now he just had to learn how to Occlude when he felt a vision taken hold while his scar burned painfully and his head felt like it was splitting in two.

It had been a few days since his vision, and unfortunately they were no closer to finding out what it had meant. The Order was doing its best to follow any leads they received, while Harry concentrated on Occluding. It was imperative that Harry as able block Voldemort should he try to possess Harry through their link. His connection to Voldemort was just too dangerous to allow it to continue.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked, his brow creasing with concern when he saw Harry raise his hand to rub his temple to ease the dull pain.

"I'm fine. Just a slight headache," he replied.

Remus cocked his head to the side looking quite concerned. "Do you want a potion or anything to take away the pain?"

Harry shook his head and replied, "No, that's alright. It's really not that bad. I've had worse."

"Well, now that you're here. We should get started," he said, grabbing his notepad and pen from the coffee table and setting it on his lap so that he could take notes if necessary.

"Started? Now?" Harry asked feeling confused, but knowing what Remus was probably referring to.

"Did you forget that we scheduled a session this afternoon?" Remus asked calmly, his voice easing into the tone he used as a therapist to put his patient at ease.

"No…yeah, sort of… I was kind of hoping that we could postpone…" Harry answered reluctantly. He didn't want to admit the real reason he was little hesitant to speak with Remus. Even after all of their talks, Harry still felt a bit awkward about it all. The situation was certainly better than speaking to a professional therapist and risk having all of his secrets exposed to the wizarding world, but that didn't mean that it was any easier to speak to Remus about what he was feeling inside some times.

"We've rescheduled and postponed your sessions a lot lately because of training and Occlumency lessons. I feel it's important that we have a nice long chat today. That is… unless you are feeling unwell," Remus added.

Harry sighed, knowing that Remus was right. It had been a few days since his last session and with his relapse only a few weeks ago it was important that he stayed on track with his therapy. He did still have some urges to cut occasionally, but he had suppressed those urges by staying busy as much as possible.

"No, it's alright… this is just still kind of hard. I mean… you're like my friend, therapist, and parental figure all rolled up into one. It's just hard sometimes to distinguish which role you're playing and how I'm supposed to act," Harry admitted. He had been feeling a little confused about their weird family dynamic for a long while now and it felt good to finally get that out in the open.

Remus nodded and smiled. "I understand. Really, I do. It's confusing for me sometimes too. I just try to remember that we're family now and that it's important to keep the lines of communication open, no matter what the means… it helps…"

"Family..." Harry replied, smiling softly, loving the fact that he could now use that term. "I guess it's really not all that different from talking to family member, is it? Do you think I would have been able to talk to my parents about these types of things?"

"Absolutely. Your parents were the best listeners, though I'd like to think that they would have listened to more typical teenage problems instead of some of the things you've had to go through…"

Harry nodded, realizing what Remus said was true. He couldn't even begin to comprehend how much different his life would be if his parents had never been killed.

"Can I ask a question?" Harry said, thinking back to the awkward silence he had witnessed when he had first arrived.

"Sure."

"Did I interrupt something when I came home? It kind of felt like you were talking about me…" he admitted.

"You're too intuitive for your own good," Remus replied, shaking his head in disbelief. "We were talking about you. Sirius is still coming to terms with what he learned about you, and he's still dealing with that… among other things."

Harry thought about their body language when he had come home and started connecting some of the pieces together. Sirius's return from beyond the Veil had not been a smooth one. Although he had made a full recovery, there were still some things that he was dealing with as a result of existing in limbo, reliving his most painful memories over and over again, for nearly a year. Thankfully, the hallucinations, delusions, and violent outbursts Sirius experienced when he was first reanimated had subsided completely, allowing him to come to live with them at the cabin.

"Oh Merlin, did I, like, interrupt Sirius's therapy session or something?" Harry asked, feeling stupid for not realizing it sooner.

Sirius still experienced nightmares and often confused the timeline of when things occurred during his disappearance. Remus had taken on the responsibility of being Sirius's therapist when he had been released from the mental ward at St. Mungo's. Although Harry had not actually seen the pair sitting together for a therapy session before, he knew that they met frequently to ensure Sirius's mental stability continued to progress accordingly. There was hope that he would be able to find work again soon, especially now that his name was cleared after Wormtail's capture in Dartmoor.

Remus nodded. "Yes, but it's okay. Sirius knew you were coming home to talk to me. We were just squeezing in a few minutes so we could talk about-" He then paused as if he were contemplating whether or not he could say anything else.

"Talk about what?" Harry asked eagerly.

"I really shouldn't say anymore, Harry. His sessions are private, just as yours are. That's why Sirius left us alone. As much as he wants to know what's going on in that head of yours, he knows the importance of some privacy when you are still dealing with a few issues."

"Issues…" Harry muttered. "I hate that word. Somehow it doesn't really sum up everything I've been through or how I feel about it."

"What word would you use?" Remus asked curiously.

"I don't know… really hideously nasty stuff that seem to happen to me more than anyone else…you know, the basic shit that my life keeps handing me."

"Harry…" Remus chided.

"Sorry, but you know what I mean."

"I do… have you had anymore nightmares?" Remus asked, beginning to guide their conversation.

Harry shook his head. "No… I think I've actually been having some normal dreams lately, but I can never remember them when I wake up so I can't be sure."

"That's good. Dreams like that are healthy. Have you thought about what you want to do about the memories you've placed in your pensieve?" he asked.

Dumbledore had given Harry his very own pensieve last year following the attack that occurred on Halloween. He had been having trouble sleeping because of the memories that had been stirred up because of his time in Limbo, and had he even resorted to trying to steal a Dreamless Sleep Potion from Snape when the nightmares got too bad for him to deal with. The pensieve had been a blessing. With most of his traumatic memories removed, Harry had begun sleeping easier, but it also allowed his mind to be more open. The connection he had somehow established with Sirius in Limbo had crossed over into the living world and Harry began receiving images of what his godfather was experiencing. It had been terrifying at the time, and at one point Harry had seriously thought he had been going crazy. But once he figured out what has happening, he had set up about finding a way to bring his godfather back.

"No, I haven't even thought about it," Harry finally responded after some thought. "I haven't used the pensieve in a long while. Why? Do you think I should start putting my memories back in my head?"

"Not necessarily. In fact, it's probably too soon. But it is something to think about for the future."

Harry wasn't sure how he felt about that. Those memories were of the horrific child abuse he had suffered at the hands of uncle. "Why would I want to remember those things? Isn't the point of all this to forget all of that and move past it?"

Remus sighed, and paused for a moment seeming to choose his words. "Yes, and you have begun to do so. But you can't truly move past all of that until you have the knowledge of what happened and can accept that none of it was ever your fault. As awful as those memories are, they have made you what you are today. Without them you're not whole."

"I don't know if I ever want to remember any of that…"

"You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for. But don't feel pressured to take your memories back any time soon. It might be years until you are ready to make such a step."

"Okay," he replied, breathing a sigh of relief. It was just too soon to be thinking about anything like that.

The conversation then turned to other things that Harry or Remus wanted to talk about, mostly about how Harry felt after his encounter with his uncle and what he was doing to cope. After half an hour or so, there was a natural pause in the conversation. Harry didn't really have anything more that he wanted to say, and waited for Remus to guide the session in a new direction as he often did. Looking at his therapist he saw something troubling in his eyes. It appeared as if Remus had something important to say to him, but didn't know how to say it. They sat quietly for a few moments, listening to the storm rage outside.

Finally, Remus came to whatever decision he was trying to make. He set aside his notepad and leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees, and looked Harry in the eyes.

"One last thing before we're done here today... I've been doing some thinking, and I think you've proven that you are coping with things well since your last episode… and well, I think that you should be allowed your wand back without restrictions," said Remus. "But I think I'll hang onto the dagger Sirius gave you a little while longer."

"Really?" Harry asked, sitting up in disbelief. "I can have my wand back?"

"Yes, really. Just don't make me regret this decision," Remus replied, retrieving Harry's wand from where he had placed it on the coffee table and handing it back to him with a smile.

"Thanks," he said, glad to have his wand back in his possession permanently. He rolled his wand between his fingers, feeling the smooth wood pulsing slightly at his touch.

"Don't thank me. You're the one that did all the work to show me that you're dealing with everything in a healthy way."

A part of Harry felt like he really didn't deserve to have his wand back unrestricted. Looking away, he whispered, "I still have urges you know…"

"I know," Remus replied.

"But I haven't cut myself or stuck myself with pins or anything since it happened," Harry stated, feeling the need to defend himself for some strange reason. "And I haven't scratched up arms in a long while."

"I know that too. You may not have noticed but I released the locking spells on all of the kitchen drawers last week. If you were going to do anything I think we would have seen it by now. I think you've proven that you're capable of restraining yourself."

"You're not worried that I'll do it again?" Harry asked, revealing his own hidden fears in that question.

"Of course I am. An addiction like that isn't easy to break, but somehow I know that you'll be okay this time," he said.

Harry was surprised to hear this from Remus. "Why do you say that?"

"Because you have found healthy ways to distract yourself from the urges," said Remus looking him in the eyes to let Harry know his sincerity.

Harry desperately wanted to believe him, but he was still a little afraid of what he was capable of. "Yeah, but what if it's not enough? What if I'm not strong enough to resist?"

"You will. And even if you're not, you can come to me and I will help you through, just like we did last time."

Harry smiled, remembering the fun they had going for a midnight swim. His smile wavered, however, when he remember how badly he wanted to cut himself that night… to feel the sting of a blade across his skin… the craving for pain to forget the turmoil he was feeling inside had been quite strong. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because before you didn't feel you had anyone to turn to when you needed help and you coped the only way you knew how. But I truly believe that that has changed. You have me and Sirius, Draco, and the Weasleys now… and we would do anything to see that you never come to harm again. You have a large family that loves you unconditionally and will always support you no matter. And even if you do fall, it doesn't matter because we'll always be there to pick up the pieces."

"Thanks, Remus," Harry said softly. He got up from his position on the sofa and came around the coffee table to give his guardian a hug. "That means a lot."

Remus gave him a hug in return and said, "No problem, cub. I love you too much to ever see you hurt again, whether by your own hand or someone else's."

"I love you too. Thank you for trusting me. I won't let you down," said Harry, feeling quite certain that he had beaten this thing completely now.

"I know."

"Do you mind if I go up stairs for a while?"

"Not at all. Dinner will be ready in another hour or so," said Remus.

"Are you cooking?" Harry asked.

Remus smiled, knowing what he was alluding to. Sirius's attempt at meatloaf the other night had been disgusting to say the least. The meat had not cooked thoroughly in the center and he had somehow burned the mashed potatoes, if that was even possible. "Yes, I'm making shepherd's pie."

"Yum," he said, before turning to go to his room. He quickly climbed the stairs and opened the door to his room.

Flipping on the light, Harry crossed his room and flopped down on his bed. It was the first time in a long time that he had truly nothing to do. Harry had made sure to stay as busy as possible these last few weeks, afraid that if he was idle for any length of time that his old demons would come back to haunt him. So great was his fear that he "might" cut himself, he had become a master at scheduling out his day so that not a single moment was wasted. It wasn't hard to do with everything going on. Between studying, training, Occlumency lessons, and hanging out with his friends, there wasn't much time for him to be alone. And even was he was alone he had found ways to keep himself occupied. He had become an avid reader, pouring through all of the Defense books Sirius and Remus had suggested to read for training.

Filled with the confidence Remus had entrusted him with, Harry decided to see how he felt when he had nothing to do. Hey lay quietly on his bed, listening to the storm outside. He was pleasantly surprised to find how content he felt, even with the fear of the war with Voldemort looming closer. His therapy session today had gone really well, and he was filled with a sense of peace he hadn't felt in a while. For once, his thoughts weren't consumed with memories of his past or the need to cut himself. He lay there quietly, not really feeling like napping, and thought about his friends and family.

This idleness lasted only a short while, however. With his recent need to stay busy at all times, he found himself rather bored. Having nothing else to do, he pulled two thin books from his nightstand that he hadn't looked at in a while.

The first was his mother's research journal. It had proved invaluable over the course of the last year. It was because of his mother's tedious research that Draco was able to save him last Halloween and Harry was able to bring Sirius back from beyond the Veil. He turned each page with great care, reading his mother's words, and tracing the letters she wrote with his fingers occasionally, loving this odd connection he had with his deceased mother. Sometimes it felt as though his mother was reaching out from the grave to guide him through her research, and that thought filled him with a sense of love and adoration for a mother he had never really known. After a few minutes, he set his mother's book aside and reached for his own journal.

He flipped past his numerous entries over the past few months, ignoring the pages covered in X's and the frayed pieces of paper where he had torn his last entry out when his writing hadn't been enough to suppress the urge to hurt himself. He finally found a clean page to write on, grabbed a pen, and began.

_Dear Journal,_

_For the first time in so long I feel ok. Better than that. I feel great. I don't even feel like hurting myself, (yay!) I finally feel like I'm moving past all this shit stuff that's been going on, and I know that hurting myself was really destructive and bad now. I mean, I always knew it in theory, but it was hard to fully realise that when I was relying on it to cope with all my problems. In my session with Remus today, I truly understood and believed him when he said that I was strong. And he's right, I do have friends (well, they're family really) that love me and would do anything for me. I am so lucky to have them. So amazingly lucky._

_I feel better about myself too, like I can be a useful person in ways other than fighting Voldemort. Remus helped me see that, I'm glad I have him to talk to even though it's hard and sometimes weird. I've had this stupid prophecy looming over me and I know I have to do this, that no one else can do it for me. I didn't think I'd survive another encounter with Voldemort, like at halloween, but… I did. And what happened in Limbo, having to remember those things… The only good thing that came of that was learning that I really am loved, and that I can love in return, no matter how fucked up my uncle tried to make me. I have to survive this war now, I refuse to not win now. I have got so much to live for and so many people who need me. I need to win, get it over and done with, so I can get on with my life, and my future with Draco…_

* * *

Lightning streaked across the sky, followed closely by the roar of rolling thunder. It was late afternoon, almost evening, and Draco found himself playing chess with Ron yet again, biding their time until dinner. The game had become an almost daily occurrence for them, having nothing else to do when they weren't training with Remus and Sirius along side the others or working on assignments for school. Ginny and Hermione had finally gotten fed up with watching them play and had fled to their room to pour through Witch Weekly magazines, which Hermione adamantly refused to admit that she actually enjoyed reading. 

Jinx, the little Kneazle Draco had picked up on Donn Island, was nestled quietly in his lap, sleeping peacefully. He idly stroked her soft striped fur waiting for Ron's turn to be over, trying to determine what course of action he would take next.

It infuriated Draco to no end that he had yet to best Ron in chess. He thought that he might have come close nearly a dozen times, but each time Ron had maneuvered him into a false sense of security before he dealt his final blow, capturing his king. He had always been competitive by nature, driven to be the best in whatever he did, and he was determined to beat Ron one way or another. He was even ready to use some more Slytherin tactics if the need called for it, but another part of Draco wanted to be him to beat him fair and square.

Draco didn't have to wait long. Ron almost always decided how to move his chess pieces within a minute or so of his turn. Ron had just moved his rook across the board, capturing another one of Draco's pawns and looking quite satisfied with himself for reasons only he could understand.

Draco studied the board intently, trying to plan several moves ahead as Ron had once tried to coach him to do, but he couldn't seem to wrap his brain around more than a single move at time as it was nearly impossible to predict Ron's strategy. He tried to ignore Ron's irritating behavior of fiddling with his captured chess pieces in his hands while he waited for Draco to make a decision.

Another streak of lightning scattered across the sky, illuminating the dimly lit living room with its bright white light. Thunder cracked only a second later, alerting them that the heart of the storm was looming closer still.

Later, when Draco would have a moment to reflect on what happened in the next few seconds, he would swear that it seem to happen in slow motion.

They both heard the door in the front hall open with a noisy creak, but neither of them thought anything of it as it was a fairly common occurrence for an Order member to travel in and out of Number 12 Grimmauld Place by Muggle means instead of always Flooing or using Apparation. Moody often stressed the importance of the Order members in varying their routines so as to throw anyone off who may be tracing their movements. Draco didn't even bother turning his head to see who had arrived; he was so engrossed in the chess game before him.

It was only when Ron suddenly stopped playing with the chess piece in his hand, that Draco noticed the perplexed look on his face. He seemed to be staring at whoever was in the entryway. Curious, Draco turned his head to follow Ron's gaze to see who had arrived. From their vantage point in the living room they had a clear view into the foyer. It was impossible to miss anyone that might have come in the front door. And the person that was currently standing there was someone Draco had never expected to see again.

It felt as if his entire world had turned completely upside down. Draco broke out into a cold sweat as his anxiety increased, wondering if he was seeing a ghost. It felt as though everything were shifting sideways. Although a little shaky, he stood up, knocking Jinx to the floor. He stared at their visitor unblinkingly, not truly believing his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to call out to this mysterious woman, but he was unable to speak. His throat felt as though it had closed up completely, and he was having difficulty breathing, so great was his shock. He couldn't imagine how she had come to be here or what had happened to her during the months since her disappearance.

Ron stood up beside him and looked as though he were about to speak. Draco shot out his hand and grabbed Ron's arm to silence him before he could utter a single word. He was afraid for some reason that if they said anything that she might disappear… that he would learn that this was all some weird dream. Together they continued to watch this strange visitor, both already knowing who she was but not comprehending how she came to be here so suddenly.

She stood rigid in the foyer, looking very much disoriented, clutching her arms tightly against her chest as she shivered uncontrollably. The Muggle clothing she wore, a pair of faded denim jeans and a pink t-shirt, were somewhat ragged and completely soaked from the rain. The canvas shoes that donned her feet were saturated and muddy as well. Water dripped from her blonde hair, which was looking wild and windswept from the weather, and began to soak the rug that covered the wood floor in the foyer.

She seemed uncertain as to what she should do next now that she had gotten out of the pouring rain. If it was possible, she looked as though she was both familiar with the house she was standing in and a stranger in it as well. Her pale blue eyes were darting about wildly, taking in everything, but somehow she had yet to see the two young men watching her from the living room. Her eyes paused only when she saw the painting of Sirius's mother, which hung near the stairs, was covered in a black cloth. Draco wondered if she knew the likeness of her aunt lay beneath the shadowy folds of the dark cloth. She took a hesitant step forward and raised her arm as if to remove the cloth from the painting when she was startled by the appearance of Molly coming down the stairs.

"Hello?" Molly called, clearly not recognizing this strange woman before her at first glance. Draco almost didn't recognize her either because of her appearance.

Draco watched as the new arrival inhaled sharply and staggered backwards a few steps, staring at Molly uncomprehendingly. She stood frozen for a second longer until she spotted Severus and Moody coming up the stairs from the kitchen.

"Narcissa?" Severus called, staring at her in confusion, as he took a hesitant step forward. Moody grabbed his wand in alarm and pointed it straight at her.

"No!" she yelled in despair, though her voice sounded barely above a whisper.

She quickly turned back towards the door and yanked it open. She then ran as fast as she could out of Number 12 Grimmauld Place and down the block.

Finally finding his voice and overcoming his initial shock, Draco ran after her. "Mother!"

He leaped down over the front steps and started after his mother in full sprint. His shoes pounded the pavement, splashing into the occasional puddle. The skies were dark and rain poured down from the ominous clouds, making Draco's vision hazy at best. He was afraid that if he didn't catch up to her soon that he would lose her completely. His heartbeat and breathing quickened as he pushed himself harder and harder to catch up to her.

"Mother!" Draco yelled for her repeatedly, feeling himself becoming hoarse with each effort. His mother either didn't hear him or didn't care, because she kept on running as if her life depended upon it. In his peripheral vision he could see his godfather running along beside him, raising his wand and pointing it in her direction. Seeing that he was finally close enough that he wouldn't miss his mark, Severus yelled, "_Stupefy_!" and Narcissa collapsed in mid stride.

Draco winced in sympathy when he saw how hard she had hit the ground. A small part of him wanted to protest his godfather's actions, but he knew that it had been the only way to stop her. Together they jogged the rest of the way to her still form.

Lightning flashed overhead, illuminating her body sprawled sideways across the ground in the middle of the street, her hair plastered against the sides of her face. Seeing her so prone and helpless caused another painful lump to form in Draco's throat. All of these months that she had been missing he had hoped that she might still be alive, but he had never expected to see her again, and certainly not like this. She barely even resembled the mother that he knew.

Together Draco and Snape turned her body so that she was now flat on her back so that Severus could quickly assess her vitals and make sure she hadn't suffered any injures because of the stunning spell. The rain that fell upon her pale face coursed down her cheeks in small streams. She looked so sad and vulnerable like this. His godfather must have noticed how upset Draco was because he said, "She's alright Draco. You don't have to worry any more."

He nodded, but somehow he didn't feel exactly comforted. His heartbeat was slowly returning to normal, but that didn't mean he felt any less anxiety over this situation.

Moody and Ron ran up beside them, having finally caught up. "We should leave quickly. I don't think any of the Muggles noticed anything, but we should get out of here," said Moody, his magical eye swirling about, surveying the Muggle street carefully.

Snape nodded. "I'll Apparate her to headquarters. You should follow."

Before Draco could protest, his godfather and his mother disappeared with a loud pop. He rose from his kneeling position and prepared to Apparate himself.

"Are you okay?" Ron quickly asked, still somewhat out of breath. From the way the red head was looking at him, Draco was sure that he was feeling sorry and confused for him.

Draco knew that Ron meant well, but he was in no mood to play nice right now. He was just too overwhelmed. Without answering him, Draco Apparated back to Grimmauld Place. He quickly looked around and found a small gathering of people in the living room. He stalked into the room, roughly pushing past a few Order members who happened to be there this evening, in order to get to his mother. Tonks, Shacklebolt, Molly, and Mr. Weasley didn't seem to mind, knowing how difficult this situation must be for him.

Severus had laid her across the couch and was now using his wand to scan her body once more, this time more thoroughly. He was the only one present who had enough training to do so, and he was taking his time in order to make sure that he hadn't missed anything, whether it be physical or magical. She had yet to regain consciousness on her own, which happened occasionally, and it appeared as if a spell would have to be used to reverse the stunning spell.

Now that Draco could see her close up, she looked even worse for wear. Her clothing was not only ragged but dirty, and she had faint bruising and various cuts on the visible parts of her body. Draco began to feel slightly queasy at the sight of her. He couldn't even begin to imagine what she had been through all of these months.

He had never seen his mother look so fragile before, nor had he seen her look so common. He had never known his mother to wear Muggle clothing, as she thought it was beneath her. She had always worn the finest wizard robes and her hair was always done up just so. She never even had a hair out of place. In his mind she had always been the epitome of strength and grace. Even when his father handled her roughly, she still was the picture of dignified woman of wealth- so unlike her current appearance.

Hermione and Ginny, who had come downstairs when they heard all the commotion, were now standing against the wall watching everything. Seeing that Draco had arrived, they came up beside him looking sympathetic.

"Isn't that your mother?" Ginny asked softly.

Draco nodded, but refused to say anything else. What else was there to say?

Ron and Moody appeared behind them, having finally Apparated back themselves. Moody moved to stand near his fellow aurors and Ron joined his friends.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked, as he shook off the rain that had collected on his hair, earning a disapproving glare from Hermione.

"Honestly," she muttered, before casting a drying spell on her boyfriend and then one on Draco as well. He couldn't seem to bring himself to say thank you.

Ron smiled at his girlfriend in appreciation and then turned to Draco, "So what's going on? Why is she here?"

Hermione pursed her lips and glared at Ron. "We don't know anything just yet. Stop being so insensitive!"

"Sorry, I was just curious."

Draco ignored them and turned back to his mother, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. It appeared his godfather had already performed the same spell that Hermione had used to dry their clothes on Narcissa and on himself. When he was finished with the magical scan, he stood up to address the group.

"Severus, is she okay?" Molly asked.

"Yes, I couldn't find any serious injuries beside a few scratches and bruises, but she is somewhat malnourished. She looks like she might have lost some weight since I last saw her," he replied.

Draco nodded having already noticed that himself.

"Why did she come here?" Tonks asked, looking completely bewildered to see her estranged aunt.

"How did she even find our headquarters? It's protected under a Fidelius Charm!" added Moody, sounding quite alarmed.

"Do you think she was looking for Draco?" asked Molly.

Draco's heart skipped a beat at the thought. Had his mother been searching for him? Did she even know that the Weasleys were his guardians now? Where had she been all this time? Why was she dressed as a Muggle? They all have a lot of questions, but not as many as Draco.

Severus leveled each of them with a piercing glare. "I do not know," he said through clenched teeth. "The only way we'll find out is to ennervate her."

"I think we should contact Dumbledore first," said Mr. Weasley. "We don't know what kind of threat she poses."

"She's not a Death Eater if that's what you're thinking," Draco said pointedly.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Hermione, Ginny, and Ron searching her bare arms for the tell tale tattoo. They wouldn't find anything. The infamous dark mark was indeed missing from her skin. Although she was loyal to Lucius, she had never openly supported the Dark Lord. It was something that had troubled Draco when he was younger when he thought that following Voldemort would be his path. He wondered where her loyalty stood now that her husband was in Azkaban.

"And she is unarmed," Severus stated.

The group looked surprised. It was unusual for a witch or wizard to be found without their wand. The group began talking quietly among themselves speculating why Narcissa was suddenly here.

Draco was feeling aggravated by the situation, and he wanted everyone to shut up. They didn't know his mother and they couldn't possibly speculate her motives for coming here. He wanted nothing more than to be alone with his mother to find out the answers to all of his questions, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. They were standing the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, which meant a certain protocol needed to be followed to ensure their safety and the protection of their secrets.

"Dumbledore should still be contacted about this situation," Mr. Weasley insisted.

Severus reluctantly nodded in consent and turned back to Narcissa Malfoy. Draco noticed how quiet he had become and how he was looking at his mother with something that could only be described as fondness.

Mr. Weasley made his way over the fireplace and fire called Hogwarts. Upon his return he announced, "Dumbledore should be here soon... then we'll get some answers."

His friends tried to talk to him, but he brushed them off and moved away. He didn't want to talk anyone right now, not until he had some answers. He tried to block all of the conversations out that were going around the room, but it was difficult. Although he was a little self conscious about doing it, he finally decided to kneel down beside his mother and take her cold hand in his own. They had never really been affectionate towards one another, but Draco needed to feel her hand in his own to feel grounded. The entire situation was just too surreal. He stared at her face looking for anything that might help him understand what had happened, worried that if he looked away she might disappear again. The lump in his throat seemed to grow thicker, and he felt close to tears.

His head was still spinning from his mother's sudden appearance. Draco hadn't seen in her for an entire year. After the raid on Malfoy Manor and his decision to run away last summer, Narcissa had presumably gone into hiding with Lucius. Draco had no doubt that it had probably been a forced situation, but his mother had also been fiercely loyal to her husband despite his many flaws. They had no idea what happened to her after Lucius was captured last Halloween, until last spring.

The Order suspected that she had been spotted in Dartmoor during a battle. It was believed that she may have been staying with a distant cousin in the wizarding village, when it had been overtaken. Someone that matched her description and had the name of a flower was believed to be taken away by some of the Death Eaters who escaped. She had been seen struggling to get away, but no one knew for sure what happened to her from that point.

Where had she been all these months? Had she been captured by the Death Eaters? And if she had, did she escape? If she was alive all this time, how come she didn't contact him? Why show up here now? Was she looking for him? Or did she arrive here seeking refuge in her Aunt Walpurga's home?

Draco could feel his godfather watching him, but neither one could seem to say anything to the another. They waited quietly with one another, ignoring the others who were still speculating about Narcissa's sudden appearance.

Fortunately, they didn't have to wait very long. Dumbledore had arrived by Floo, followed closely by Professor McGonagall. Severus rose to meet with the adults to talk about the situation. Draco listened to their conversation from where he was kneeling. The Order members had decided that they would erect a few wards around the room to keep her from leaving once she regained consciousness. It was too great of a risk if she escaped. Draco couldn't even bring himself argue, he knew they were right. He wasn't sure if _he_ could even trust his own mother.

It was also agreed that there were too many people in the room. Severus, who had been a close friend to the Malfoy family, Dumbledore, and Draco would remain to talk with Narcissa while most of the others waited down in the kitchen. Moody and Shacklebolt had insisted on standing guard outside the room, in case Narcissa somehow got past their barriers.

With a plan in place, everything was set in motion. Draco stood and released his hold on his mother's hand when he saw his friends coming near.

"Are you okay?" asked Hermione, placing her hand on Draco's arm in concern.

He could only shrug, still not trusting his voice.

"We're here if you need us," said Ginny, hoping to reassure him.

"It'll be alright mate," said Ron. "At least now you'll get some answers."

Draco nodded and turned away from them, feeling vulnerable. They seemed to understand and left the room quietly.

When the last barrier was erected and everyone else had left, the three that remained gathered around Narcissa and prepared to awaken her.

Dumbledore nodded to Severus. He took a breath and said "_Ennervate_!" as he pointed his wand at the blonde woman lying on the sofa.

Narcissa sat up with a start. She was apparently still fuzzy from being stunned. She looked up at the three figures looming above and tried to move back farther onto the couch and away from them, obviously terrified. She drew her legs up to her chest and began drawing in ragged breaths as she began to panic. Squinting her eyes, she finally was able to focus enough to recognize her old friend.

"No!" she screamed, shaking her head from side to side in disbelief. "Leave me alone!"

"Narcissa, calm down," Severus tried.

"No!" she yelled, pulling at her hair with her hands, as she continued to shake her head. A single tear slid down her face in despair. She had yet to recognize the other two men in the room. Her eyes were darting about looking for an escape. Draco had never seen his mother in such a state and it unsettled him greatly.

Severus took a step forward in an attempt to calm her. "Cissy, it's okay…"

"No! Don't come near me!" she shouted, trying unsuccessfully to move back further into the sofa. She then began sobbing loudly.

When it became too much for her she climbed over the side and began looking for an escape. She looked toward the entrance of the living room and moved in that direction. Draco and Dumbledore moved in front of her, blocking her path.

"Mother… it's me, Draco," he finally tried, but she didn't seem to hear him over her own crying.

"You can't leave this room, Narcissa. There are wards keeping you here. Please just talk to us," Dumbledore tried.

"Mother?"

She looked at them in confusion, her face streaked with tears now. She was obviously in survival mode right now, and couldn't even recognize her own son, so deep was her fear.

"No!" she moaned, and ran for the windows on the far wall. She desperately began clawing at the bottom of one of the windows, trying to open it so that she could climb out. When that didn't work she grabbed a vase nearby and prepared to throw it at the window.

Severus came up from behind her grabbed the vase, setting it aside, and pulled her away from the windows.

"Stop it now, Cissy. You're only going to end up hurting yourself," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist as he tried to subdue her.

"No! Leave me alone! I won't let you bring me to him! He'll kill me!" she screamed, as she began thrashing about wildly trying to escape. She was acting like a caged animal, desperate for freedom.

"What? Who?" asked Severus, still trying to restrain her.

"The Dark Lord," she moaned through her tears. "He'll never forgive me for not going to him after Lucius was captured…"

"Cissy, I'm not a Death Eater anymore," Severus began.

"Lies!" she shouted, her legs kicking in the air as she tried to dislodge herself from his hold.

"Mother, just listen to him! You're safe here!" Draco shouted, feeling his eyes tearing up as he painfully watched his mother's desperation.

"No! You lie! Please just let me go!" she moaned, sagging in his arms now. "Please… if you ever felt anything for me, Severus, you'd let me go… please…I beg you…"

"Narcissa, you're safe here," Severus whispered into her hair, relaxing his hold on her somewhat.

Taking advantage of the situation, Narcissa kicked Severus in the shin and made an attempt to bolt from the room again, heedless of the wards surrounding it. She darted past Draco's outstretched arms trying to capture her and ran full speed at the living room's entryway.

She rebounded off the wards, which glowed blue for a moment, and landed on her back a few feet away having knocked herself unconscious.

"Well, that went well," Severus said dryly, brushing a long strand of black hair out of his eye.

Thunder rolled again in the distance.

* * *

A/N: Sorry to end it there. So what did you think? Were you all surprised? I'm sure many of you had already figured how who was the mysterious stranger that was going to eventually show up in this story. I had planned on using Narcissa all along and I was a little more than surprised when she played such a prominent role in the beginning of HPB. Please keep in mind that this story is AU from canon. I know you are all about to review and tell me that Narcissa wouldn't be able to find Grimmauld Place because of the Fidelius Charm, but I have a great explanation for all of that. All will be revealed in the next chapter. 


	21. Revealing Conversations

**Chapter 21- Revealing Conversations**

Ron sat at the large wooden table in the kitchen, surrounded by Hermione, Ginny, Professor McGonagall, Tonks, and his parents. They had been ushered out of the living room and down into the dark kitchen so that Dumbledore, Severus, and Draco could determine the nature of Narcissa Malfoy's sudden appearance, which had left them all reeling.

"I was so surprised when I came downstairs and saw that strange woman standing in the foyer," said his mother. "I didn't even recognize her at first, wearing those Muggle clothes. I always thought Narcissa would rather be caught dead than wearing anything Muggle made, the way she and her husband looked down on Muggles."

"Yes, it was a surprise, wasn't it? Lucius had always snubbed me because of my placement in the Ministry and my affinity for Muggle things. I always assumed that Narcissa felt the same as him," added Ron's father. "Wearing Muggle clothing… I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."

"Maybe she has changed," said Ginny. "A year is a really long time."

"Somehow I doubt she's changed that much. She was always such a stubborn thing…" said Professor McGonagall, having taught her years ago. "She seemed to believe in those pureblood ideals her husband was always flaunting.

"Well then maybe she didn't have a choice," Ginny offered.

"That's certainly a possibility," said Hermione. "She has been missing all this time…. without a home or even any money. Maybe she had no other choice. Can you even imagine?"

They were quiet for a moment, each speculating over Narcissa Malfoy and what she could have gone through over the course of this past year.

"I wonder why she came here or how she even found the place," said his mother. Then she asked, "Do you think something's wrong with the Fidelius Charm?"

"I'm sure Albus will get to the bottom of that. Do you think she was looking for Draco?" asked Professor McGonagall. "The poor boy hasn't seen his mother in over a year."

Ron watched as his mother's eyes clouded over. She had come to think of Draco as one of her own over this last year. "Somehow I doubt that," she said.

Ginny sighed sadly, "I can't imagine what Draco must be going through. This must be so hard for him. Maybe she _was_ looking for him. Do you think she knew how to find the house?"

"Well, from the look on her face when I first saw her in the foyer, it seemed as though she was familiar with the house. And she looked up at me as though I were the one that didn't belong here," said their mother.

"Maybe she is familiar with the house. Aren't Sirius and Narcissa related?" asked Hermione.

"Most pure-blooded families are connected in one way or another… "Ron's father answered her.

"They're cousins," said Tonks, cutting into the conversation now. "My cousins... Narcissa is my aunt… though you wouldn't know the way her sister's name is scorched off that blasted tapestry in the drawing room. Apparently my mother marrying a Muggle-born was too much for the family to handle."

Ron sometimes forgot that Tonks, Draco, and Sirius were all cousins. It wasn't something that was ever talked about and the three of them were so rarely in the same room together that when they were, you would never knew they were family.

"So, she could have known how to find her Aunt's house," Hermione insisted.

"Even if she did before, there's a Fidelius Charm on the house now. And Dumbledore is the Secret-Keeper. Somehow I doubt he told her how to find the place," Ron countered.

"Well she got here somehow!" Hermione protested. No one could deny that.

"Tell us what happened, Ron," his father insisted. "Maybe you can shed some light onto this mystery."

Ron took a deep breath before he began, loving that he was involved with what had transpired this evening, however small his part. "Well, Draco and I were playing chess when we heard the front door open. I didn't think anything of it at first, but then I noticed that it wasn't an Order member. Draco must have noticed too because he got all quiet. I almost said something to her, but Draco held me back. I think he was afraid she would run off if we said anything. Well, I guess she did… didn't she? We chased her down the street- ol' Moody can run pretty fast on the peg leg, by the way- and Snape stunned her in mid stride. She went down like a ton of bricks."

"Ron!" scolded both his mother and Hermione.

"What? It's true! You should have seen the way she hit the pavement! Smack!" said Ron, slapping the table to demonstrate and ignoring the appalling look his girlfriend was now giving him. "And then they brought her here."

"That's it?" asked Ginny, hoping for more juicy details.

"That's it! What else do you want me to say? It all happened really fast," said Ron defensively.

They were all quiet after that, no one knowing really what to say. What could they say? They wouldn't know anything for sure until Narcissa was finished being interrogated upstairs.

"How about some dinner while we wait?" asked his mother. Whenever there was problem she did what she knew how to do best; she fed them.

* * *

Draco, Severus, and Dumbledore stared down at his mother's still form lying sprawled across the living room floor. Her fruitless attempt to escape had caused her to rebound off the wards that they had erected to contain her.

Draco wiped away a tear that had fallen while he had been trying to get through to his mother in her crazed state. He still couldn't believe that she had suddenly come into his life again after disappearing for more than a year. Glancing at his godfather, he noticed the grave expression on his face and the way he had his arms crossed over his chest, staring down at her intently. Apparently Severus was struggling with her reappearance as well.

"Is she hurt?" Draco asked nervously, remembering how hard she had fallen.

Dumbledore stooped beside his mother and raised wand, scanning her for injury. "She has a concussion, but it can be healed," the old wizard explained. His wand tip glowed a soft yellow as he directed towards her head for a few moments as he healed her.

"What do we do now?" Draco asked.

"I fear the only way we'll get some answers and prevent Narcissa from injuring herself is with a binding spell," said Dumbledore. "Severus will you help get her in the arm chair."

Severus nodded. Draco watched as they both bent down over his mother and lifted her gently, transferring her to the squashy green armchair in the corner of the room. He was mildly surprised that they hadn't just used magic, but he was grateful that they were showing any amount of kindness considering they still didn't know if she posed a threat to the Order. Her head, lolled forward as they placed her in a seated position and his godfather gently pushed it back against the cushions where she would be more comfortable.

"_Incarcerous,_" said Dumbledore, casting the binding spell. He then said "_Enervate_," to wake her up again.

Her head snapped forward, her eyes wild again as she searched the room. "No!" she moaned, when she saw her captors yet again. She looked down at her rigid body, realizing that she had been magically bound to the chair with rope and began to panic once again.

"Mother? It's me… Draco…" he tried, bending down in front of her so that she could see him properly. "You're okay. It's safe here."

"No! It's a trick. You're an imposter!" she yelled, her eyes filling with tears once again. "You'll just take me to the Dark Lord. Get away from me!"

"Mother, please…Where have you been all this time?"

"Get away from me!"

Draco was flabbergasted. His own mother didn't even recognize him. He took a few steps back, not willing to upset his mother any longer. Dumbledore and Severus both grabbed chairs from the nearby table and sat down in front of her.

"Narcissa…" Dumbledore began, using a stern voice.

"Leave me alone…" she cried.

"Narcissa, I need you to take a breath and calm down. I will use a calming potion on you if need be. Now take a deep breath…"

"Please let me go…" she moaned, looking as though she was trying to fight against her bonds though her body couldn't move. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"We need to make sure you weren't sent here by Voldemort," Dumbledore explained.

"I wasn't! I swear! Please let me go," she said, still struggling.

"It's no use. You can't escape. So just calm down and listen to what we have to say…. Take a deep breath…"

Narcissa stared at him helplessly and did as he said, drawing in shaky breath a blowing it out as another tear coursed down her face. Draco could see that the fear was still evident in her face.

"That's it… take another…"

She followed the request again, sniffling pitifully.

"Do you know where you are?"

His mother nodded. "B-black Manor."

"Good. Now… do you know who I am?" Dumbledore asked.

She looked at him carefully, and replied. "Y-yes… you look like Dumbledore… headmaster of Hogwarts…"

"Yes," he said smiling. "And have you ever known me to associate with Voldemort?"

She cringed at the name and shook her head.

"Exactly. So you have nothing to fear. I will not be turning you over to him," Dumbledore explained.

"But you could be an imposter… using a polyjuice potion…" she protested.

"Well that is easy enough to prove otherwise. Polyjuice potions only last an hour at most. It's been over an hour since your arrival, though you were unconscious for most of it. No matter…You'll see in a short while that we are who we say we are," Dumbledore stated matter-of-factly.

"But…" she began glancing over at Severus, seemingly confused. She obviously believed that Severus was still a Death Eater.

"Narcissa," he began, but she looked away not wanting to believe what she was seeing. "Cissy, look at me…you can trust me…"

She looked blearily up at him. "How can I trust you? You have always been one of the Dark Lord's favorites," she said softly.

Severus took a deep breath and began his explanation. "I haven't been loyal to him for a very long while, not since Dumbledore spoke for me and kept me out of Azkaban. And when the Dark Lord returned, I worked as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix."

Narcissa shook her head in disbelief. "Even if this was true, how can you speak of this to me? Aren't you afraid of what I would do with the information?"

"He already knows of my treachery, so I have nothing to fear by revealing this to you. My betrayal was revealed last October."

"The attack on Hogsmeade… that's when Lucius was captured…"

Severus nodded. "I was punished for months before I finally decided to have the Dark Mark removed," he replied.

"But that's not possible…"

"It is," he stated, sliding the sleeve of his robe up his arm and undoing the buckles of the leather band he now wore on forearm. Draco could see from where he was standing that the flesh on Severus's arm was mangled and pink, and he wondered if the scar was still tender from the magical surgery to remove the tattoo.

Narcissa gasped in surprise. "Severus…" she said softly, looking at him with sympathy in her eyes. "If he ever captures you…"

"I know."

Draco had watched the exchange wordlessly. He wished he could speak to his mother alone to make her understand that he was indeed her son and not some imposter. She hadn't even acknowledged that he was in the room since Dumbledore and Severus sat down in front of her.

"If you are who you say you are… then release me," she requested, looking much more composed now.

Dumbledore thought about it for a moment and said, "I will release you as long as you agree to answer our questions and tell us about how you came to be here."

Narcissa nodded in agreement.

"And you realize that the wards surrounding this room will contain you for as long as necessary?"

She nodded again, remembering what happened last time she tried to escape. Dumbledore released her magical bonds and she sat back, looking a little more relaxed. She wiped the remaining tears off her face and ran her fingers through her hair, hoping to look a little more presentable.

"Good… now, how did you get here?" Dumbledore began

Narcissa crossed her arms over her chest, sniffling again. "I walked."

"From where?" asked Severus curiously.

Narcissa shrugged, not willing to say much more.

"From where?" Severus repeated.

"Does it matter?"

Dumbledore sighed. "I thought you agreed to answer our questions."

She looked away, looking very lost and still very much afraid. Draco watched her as she was quiet for a few moments, thinking about her situation. "If I answer your questions… can I go free?"

"I'm afraid that won't be possible… at least not yet," Dumbledore replied honestly.

"You'd keep me prisoner here? Against my will?" When neither man answered her, she said, "Then you are no better than the Dark Lord."

"Would you rather that I bring you to him? So he can torture you? Kill you even for your betrayal?" Severus asked spitefully.

"No," she replied, looking down at her hands in her lap.

"Then you would do well to remember that we are not the enemy…"

Dumbledore reached out and placed a hand on Severus's arm, calming him. "It's for your own protection as well as ours. I cannot permit you to leave until we have a better understanding of your motives, but I'm sure we can work something out so that you wouldn't feel so…imprisoned."

Narcissa sniffed, looking away from them. "Then I have nothing to gain by answering you, do I? You plan on keeping me here no matter what I tell you."

"Cissy, don't be difficult."

Narcissa looked back at Severus, staring into his eyes pleadingly. "If you ever felt anything for me you'd let me go."

"I can't do that. You know that…"

"Then I have nothing more to say," she replied.

Severus looked to Dumbledore and received a nod in reply. Draco watched as Snape pointed his wand at Narcissa and shouted, "_Legililmens_." Narcissa's face was paper white, her eyes huge. They stared at one another silently for a few seconds, until his godfather finally broke the connection.

"You are an accomplished Occlumens, I see. Lucius taught you well. What don't you want me to see, Cissy?" he asked.

"A woman always has a few secrets she doesn't want others to see," she explained.

"I am prepared to administer Veritaserum if necessary," said Dumbledore, challenging her now.

"You wouldn't!"

"I would… Severus," he said, looking to the dark haired man sitting beside him.

Draco saw Severus pull a vial from his robes and was shocked that he would carry such a potion with him. Then he noticed that it was the wrong color, and Draco smirked at the bluff. How very Slytherin of him... Apparently his mother didn't know it was the wrong color because she blanched at the sight of the false potion.

"No! Don't!" she exclaimed. "I'll tell what you want to know…"

Severus nodded and put the vial away.

"Good… now we know you were with Lucius before Halloween last year. What happened to you after he was apprehended?" asked Dumbledore.

Narcissa cleared her throat and began. "I couldn't return to the Manor and I had no way to access our family's vaults because of the seizure of our assets… so I made my way across Britain to stay with a distant relative…"

"In Dartmoor?" Dumbledore asked.

Narcissa's mouth fell upon in shock. "How…h-how did you know that?"

"You were spotted during the battle… struggling to get away from Death Eaters," Severus explained. "What happened? Were you captured?"

Narcissa shivered and drew her arms closer to her body. "Y-yes, but I eventually got away…"

"How?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she replied firmly, not wanting to say anything more about the subject. "I did what had to do to survive. There isn't anything I wouldn't do anymore…"

Draco felt his stomach knot painfully, imagining all of the horrible things that might have happened to his mother before her escape.

"Where did you go once you escaped?" Severus asked.

"No where, really... I haven't stayed it one spot for very long. I was forced to stay in Muggle shelters mostly," she said, her voice dripping with disdain. "Vile, filthy places…"

"That must have been difficult," said Dumbledore, his voice full of sympathy.

"You have no idea. Living among Muggles has been unpleasant at best," she replied. It seemed Narcissa had not changed much from her ordeal.

"Why did you come here?" asked Dumbledore

"I thought the house was abandoned," she stated simply.

"And how do you know of it?"

"It belonged to my Aunt Walpurga. She died in 1985 and as far as I knew it remained deserted all this time. Imagine my surprise to find you here?" she said, sneering at them both. "Why are you here? You have no right to be here…"

"Walpurga's son, Sirius Black… I believe your father and Sirius's mother were siblings, so you're cousins if I'm not mistaken… he allows us to come here if we have business in London," said Dumbledore, in an attempt to be vague.

"Sirius Black? But he fell… at the Department of Mysteries. Lucius told me so…"

"An unfortunate accident, yes, but he has returned to us," he replied.

"But how?"

"Does it matter?" asked Severus, repeating the line she had used earlier.

Narcissa was thoughtful for a moment. "Business? What business would you have here? You have no Hogwarts business here. And I doubt it's because of the Ministry of Magic…" Narcissa's eyes lit up with a sudden realization. "Is this the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix or something?"

Neither man replied, ignoring her question.

"Narcissa, how is it that you were able to find this place? How is that you know of its location?"

"What do you mean? I've always known of its location. I often visited my aunt while she was alive… but it was protected by a Fidelius Charm… how were you able to find it?" she asked curiously.

Severus turned to Dumbledore in alarm. "Albus, how is this possible?"

Dumbledore sat back, stroking his long beard in thought. "I think what we have here is a magical loophole… Narcissa who was the Secret Keeper of the Manor that told you of its location?"

"I guess it doesn't matter now… Aunt Walpurga…"

Dumbledore nodded, "This makes sense now."

"What makes sense?" asked Severus.

"Apparently when a Secret-Keeper dies, nothing changes about the secret they were keeping. The people whom the Secret-Keeper confided in still know the secret and everyone else still does not," he explained.

"Then how is it that Black was able to bring us here?"

"His mother must have become the Secret Keeper when he was very young, so he would still have knowledge of its location. He would have been able to bring me here without actually telling me the location, which wouldn't be possible under the spell anyway. By casting another Fidelius Charm over the previous one, I somehow created a magical layering, allowing both spells to remain in affect."

Severus shook his head in disbelief. "I didn't even know that was possible."

"Neither did I… we'll have to find a way to remove the previous spell for security purposes."

"Anything else?" asked Narcissa, apparently not amused by the conversation anymore.

Severus studied her carefully and then asked, "Where is your wand? No self respecting witch would be caught with out, especially in times like these."

Narcissa sighed heavily. "They took it from me when I was captured. I haven't been able to get another…"

"You've lived without magic all summer?" Severus asked.

Narcissa nodded miserably. "Anything else?"

"Are you loyal to the Dark Lord?" Severus asked, closing his eyes as if he feared the answer.

"I am loyal to no one now…" said Narcissa icily.

"I see…" said Dumbledore, clearly unhappy with her answer. Without her allegiance to the Order, it would be dangerous to allow her to leave. "There is one other matter to discuss…"

"What? I have nothing more to say…"

"Your son."

She sat up in surprise. "Draco? What about him?" she asked, her voice full of hope now.

"He's here… and I'm sure he wishes to speak with you," Dumbledore explained. He then turned to Draco and beckoned him forward.

He took a few hesitant steps forward, fearing rejection. His mother turned her head in his direction having forgotten that the young man was still in the room.

"Draco? This isn't an imposter?" she asked, her voice shaking with emotion yet again.

"Narcissa, you may not have noticed but you've been sitting here for well over an hour…if we were using a polyjuice potion, it would have worn off by now."

"Draco?" she called.

"Yes," he replied, coming closer still.

His mother stood up slowly, watching him carefully as if seeing him for the first time. She reached up and cupped his face in both of her hands and studied him intently.

"Mother, it's me…it's your dragon…"

Her eyes filled with tears as she finally began to comprehend that Draco was in fact standing before her. She then pulled him close, pressing his body against her own, as she hugged him tightly.

"My son… my only son," she cried, hanging onto him now. Draco held her as she sobbed into his shoulder. "I've missed you so…"

Dumbledore and Severus stood up and moved across the room to give them a bit of privacy. His mother continued to hold him, crying in relief for a long while. Draco simply held her, whispering calming words, feeling a little choked up himself. When she had finally calmed down again, he pushed back from her warm embrace to look at her once more.

She smiled at him, brushing the tears from her cheeks and studied his face.

"You've grown! And your hair is different," she commented, running her fingers through his loose locks. He hadn't worn his haired gelled back since he had last seen her. "I almost didn't recognize you."

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded, though there was something behind her eyes that he didn't like. There was something she wasn't telling him. "What about you?"

"I'm fine."

"They're keeping you prisoner than too?" she asked.

"What? No," he replied. "I live here."

"What do you mean you live here?" she asked, clearly shocked by his answer.

"It's a long story," he replied. "I'll explain later."

"I guess it doesn't matter. At least we're together now. I can't believe I found you," she said, smiling once again.

Draco felt taken aback. Did she really think that he was that naïve? She had found him by chance. He knew now that his mother hadn't been actively searching for him. He was about to say as much when he noticed the exhaustion on her face.

"You're tired," he stated, and she nodded numbly.

"I've traveled very far."

"Professor Dumbledore? Would it be alright if my mother could rest for a bit?" Draco asked.

The aged wizard looked over at them from where he was speaking with Severus and the two aurors. Moody and Shacklebolt had been summoned into the room while Draco had been speaking to his mother. "I suppose that would be acceptable, but she would have to agree to wear a magical tether, tying her to this house. She will not be able to leave, Floo, or Apparate."

His mother frowned unhappily and Draco spoke on her behalf. "Is this really necessary?"

"I'm afraid it is," said Moody. "It's the only way we can ensure she doesn't leave. It's just too great a risk."

Shacklebolt approached her, his wand raised. "I'll need you to hold out your arm."

Narcissa shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why are you treating me like this? I haven't done anything wrong," she protested.

"I don't trust you," Moody said, moving towards her, his magical eye scanning her up and down looking for dark magic. "Even if you never took the dark mark, you were always loyal to your husband. We cannot begin to assume your intentions now that you have found us."

"But I don't know anything… Severus, please," she pleaded, looking at the tall dark man beseechingly.

"Cissy, just do as they say," he said, refusing to look at her.

She stared at him quietly for a few moments. She then slowly raised her arm out to the auror. Shacklebolt said an incantation and a silvery band appeared around her wrist. It glowed bright yellow for a few moments until it faded back to a dull metallic band, about two inches thick.

"I don't suppose someone could obtain a new wand for me?" she asked, although she already knew the answer.

"That won't be possible. Perhaps in time," Dumbledore answered her.

Narcissa nodded, finally submitting to their will since she was powerless to fight them. "May I rest now? It's been a long day."

"Yes that would be acceptable," he said. Dumbledore reached out and released the wards surrounding the living room with a wave of his hand. "Follow me. Molly Weasley has already prepared a room for you."

"Weasley?" Naricssa asked in surprise. "What is a Weasley doing here?"

"The Weasley family lives here now," answered Severus.

Narcissa glanced at the covered painting in the foyer as she followed them to the stairs. "Aunt Walpurga would roll over in her grave if she knew…"

"I imagine so… lemon drop?" Dumbledore asked, holding a sack full of candy out to her as they climbed the staircase. She looked at him strangely and shook her head.

The group walked down the long hallway, past the numerous bedrooms that the Weasley's were using currently, to the bedroom at the end of the hall. Molly greeted them at the door, having just finished putting fresh linens on the bed.

"Hello Naricssa," she said, trying her best to be polite despite the strained relationship between the two families.

Draco's father and Arthur Weasley had never seen eye to eye.

"Hello, Molly," his mother replied, her tone icy. She looked as if she were going to say something more when there was an awful screech followed by a clawing sound coming from the room in the attic upstairs. "What is that noise?" she asked, clearly terrified by the sounds coming from above.

"Oh, that's our resident pet Hippogriff. Don't mind him. He's just a big teddy bear, really," Dumbledore explained. "Probably just stretching his wings."

"A hippogriff? Are you people crazy?"

"Mother, it's alright…" Draco tried to calm her.

"Calm? You want me to be calm? How can I be calm with a beast like that across the hall from me? Why would anyone bring a hippogriff here? It better not be the one that attacked you in your third year," she said, still ranting. "That half-giant, poor excuse for a teacher should have never…"

"Narcissa, that's enough," Severus chided. "The animal is well contained."

She harrumphed in displeasure and turned away from him.

"This is where you will be staying. I believe it was once your Aunt's old bedroom," said Dumbledore, changing the subject.

"Yes, I know," she said, pushing past him to enter the room. They followed her and watched as she sat down on the bed, fingering the old comforter. She turned back to them and said, "Anything else?"

Molly rolled her eyes at the display. "There are fresh towels in the attached bathroom. Are you hungry?"

"If it's all the same, I'd rather just go to sleep."

"Well, breakfast will be served at 8:30 tomorrow morning, see that you come to get something to eat. You will not be waited on while you're here," she added.

"Fine," Narcissa replied, pursing her lips in irritation.

Molly nodded and then turned to leave the room. She paused near Draco as she left, giving his arm a squeeze as she smiled at him reassuringly. Draco knew her well enough to know that she was not happy about the situation, but she was willing to try for his benefit.

"Would you like to me to heal your wounds?" asked Severus, stepping forward now. "I'm not as good as the school nurse, but I'm pretty fair at the skill. You appear to have only have a few scrapes and bruises, but…if there is any scarring…"

"Yes, please," Narcissa replied quickly.

Severus gently took her face into one of his hands. He then pointed his wand at her and the bruising and cuts began to fade until they were gone completely. He then moved his wand up and down her body, ensuring that she was healed everywhere. Draco looked away when the light from his wand lingered a few seconds longer on her lower abdomen. He didn't even want to begin to think what injuries she could have sustained during her capture.

"Thank you," she said softly, looking into his eyes earnestly.

"Would you like a calming draught?"

"No."

Severus held it out to her anyway. "It will help you sleep. Take it after you've showered."

She nodded and took it from him reluctantly. Severus left the room, followed by Moody and Shacklebolt.

"I trust that you'll be comfortable for the rest of night?" Dumbledore asked.

Narcissa nodded and he left the room as well. Draco was alone now with his mother for the first time all evening. Now that he had the opportunity to talk to her, he wasn't so sure he wanted to. In fact, his being alone with her now only made him feel uncomfortable. He needed time to think.

"Goodnight, mother," he said, not knowing what else to say.

She looked at him curiously for a moment and then nodded in understanding. "Goodnight, Dragon. We'll talk tomorrow."

He nodded and then left the room, leaving his mother to freshen up and get some rest. It would have been awkward if he had given her a hug or a kiss goodnight. It simply wasn't their way, even if they had been estranged from more than a year. He was fairly confident that the affection they showed one another upon their reunion would not be repeated. This unsettled him greatly, because he had come to rely on Mrs. Weasley's hugs and words of endearment, and he could even find that in his own mother.

Draco made his way downstairs. A crowd had gathered in the living room now that their visitor was upstairs. Everyone was curious to know what had been learned from the interrogation. Draco wanted no part of it. He walked past the room, not even acknowledging the curious glances Hermione, Ron, and Ginny were giving him. They seemed to get the hint that he wanted to be left alone.

Instead he made his way to the drawing room and sat down heavily in the armchair besides the fireplace. He stared into the flames of the fire for a long while, still not quite believing what had transpired tonight. Fires were always kept going in the house, though the rooms were chilled to stay cool in the summer, because of the constant flow of traffic in and out of the house because of Order business.

Now that he had a moment to reflect, he wasn't sure how he really felt about his mother's return. He was relieved to see his mother alive and well, but when he thought back on his childhood he couldn't help but remember their relationship. They had never been really close. And if he was truthful with himself, he would admit that she had never been a very good mother to him. The only thoughtful thing she had ever done was sending him sweets and letters while he was at Hogwarts. She really hadn't ever wanted anything to do with him whenever he was home on break, and to be honest he was raised more by the House Elves than he had by her. He had been nothing more than a trophy, an heir to their fortune, to parade around at society parties. What's more was that she knew how Lucius had treated him and had never tried to stop him. She had probably been too afraid, but shouldn't a mother to everything in her power to see that her child never comes to harm? Draco knew without a doubt that she had stayed with Lucius for the money. Did she really deserve a second chance?

He really only wanted to talk to one person right now… Harry. Grabbing a handful of silvery powder from a vase besides the hearth, Draco fire called the cabin.

"Hey, Draco," said Harry, as soon as he saw Draco's head in his own fireplace. "What's going on?"

"My mother is here," he blurted out.

"Your mum. She's there? How? Are you okay?" Harry asked, rambling now. "Where is she now? Is she there with you?"

"She's sleeping upstairs," Draco replied, unsure how to explain what happened.

"Move back. I'm coming over."

"What? No? It's okay. You don't have to do that," he said, secretly wishing for Harry to come there any way.

"Nonsense, move out of the way," Harry stated firmly. "Remus! I'm Flooing over to Draco's for a bit!"

Draco pulled his head back and then moved back to his armchair to wait for Harry. Within seconds Harry was already coming out of the fireplace. He then quickly sat down besides Draco, taking him into his arms saying, "Tell me what happened."

Draco spilled the entire story to him, analyzing every detail, not wanting to forget the moment of his mother's return. Harry asked a few questions here and there, but otherwise he listened to the story, allowing Draco to think things through as he explained what had happened. At some point Jinx had found the pair and hand jumped up into Draco's lap, purring affectionately.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked, when he had finally finished.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Draco replied.

"Mrraow…" Jinx called, nudging Draco's arm with her head, as if to say that she knew otherwise.

"Somehow I doubt that. It must have been a shock to see her again after all this time," said Harry knowingly.

"I'm fine…"

"C'mon, even Jinx here knows you're upset," he said, pointing to the Kneazle who was peering up at his face curiously.

Draco smirked. "Fine, I'm not alright… I just don't know what to say to her…"

Harry sighed. "I wish I could tell you what to say or do, but I'm not really an expert on dealing with mothers."

"I guess I'll figure it out."

"I'm sure everything will turn out right in the end," Harry said softly, kissing Draco on the temple.

"Thanks for coming over."

"No problem. You've done the same for me already."

Draco glanced over at the clock on the far wall. "It's getting pretty late and I'm sure Sirius and Remus are wondering why you came over all of sudden."

"Yeah, you're probably right," said Harry, rising from the armchair. "Try to get some rest. Tomorrow will be a new day. Maybe things will be easier with your mum then. And if you need me, I'm only a Floo away."

Draco was thoughtful for a few moments and realized that might not be such a great idea. "I know, thanks. But if you don't mind… I think I want to keep us a secret for a while. It's bad enough that I'm friends with _the_ Harry Potter… I don't think she'll be able to handle the fact we're dating."

"That's fine," Harry said, nodding in understanding. "You did the same for me when I didn't want to tell Sirius."

"Thanks," he said, catching Harry's hand in his own.

"Goodnight. I love you…"

"I love you too…" Draco replied pulling Harry down to him. So he could kiss him goodbye.

Once Harry had disappeared once more, Draco sat there quietly for a few moments, his lips still tingling from their kiss.

"Are you alright, Draco?" a deep voice called from the entryway.

Turning his head, he saw his godfather standing there looking at him intently.

"I think I'm in shock more than anything. This whole evening has been so surreal," he replied.

"I can imagine… I need to leave for Hogwarts - that is unless you need me here?" Severus asked, his dark eyes searching him.

"No, that's alright. When will I see you again?" Draco asked.

"Soon," he replied.

Draco nodded and then watched as his godfather strode away, his dark robes billowing behind him. He wondered what was going through Severus's mind, having seen Narcissa again.

He pet Jinx for a little while before he finally set out to find the others, knowing that he couldn't avoid them forever. He didn't really want their company just now, but he had learned over the course of the last year it was usually just better to let them in occasionally. They always meant well, and Draco often felt better after hanging around them.

He found them in the living room still, sitting around the table. The adults had either left or gone to bed… all that is except Moody, who was determined to stay up all night in case Narcissa had intentions that they do not know about. He had posted himself out in the hallway, muttering something about, "_Constant vigilance."_

"Hey," he said, entering the room and sitting down beside them.

"Are you okay, Draco? That must have been such a surprise," said Hermione, reaching out and placing her hand on his arm. When he refused to meet her gaze

"It was," he admitted.

"So you talked to Harry?" Ron asked.

"You heard us talking?"

"I went to peak in on you to make sure you were okay and saw you two talking. I swear I didn't stay listen or anything," said Ginny.

"Oh," Draco replied lamely.

"So where has your mum been all this time?" Ron blurted out, unable to contain himself any longer.

"I don't know."

Ron frowned, clearly not happy with this answer. Draco knew that they had probably already spoken with the Order members, but were curious if he knew anything more of the details.

"What happened to her?" Hermione asked.

"I. don't. know." Draco replied. And he really didn't. His mother had been rather tight lipped about her experience. They really didn't know much than they did before except that she had stayed in Muggle shelters occasionally.

"Well, what is she doing here now?" she persisted.

"I don't know!"

The three friends looked at one another, raising their eyebrows to relay some meaning only they could understand. Draco felt himself bristle. He was at a loss to understand his mother right now and his friends pestering him with questions only made him realize how little he really knew about what happened to her.

"It's been a long day, hasn't it?" said Molly, entering the room and breaking up the awkward silence. They all nodded in agreement, but said nothing more. "Why don't we all get something to eat?" she then suggested, still feeling the need to feed everyone to ease the tension.

"Mum, we already ate, remember?" said Ginny.

"Oh, that's right. Well, Draco hasn't eaten yet. Are you hungry? Can I fix you something?"

"No, that's alright."

"Are you sure because-"

"I'm fine," he said curtly, feeling quite irritated that no one would leave him be. Molly looked surprised at this sudden outburst, and looked him curiously. Realizing what a jerk he was being right now, he turned back to her and softly said, "I'm sorry. I'm just a little on edge right now."

"It's okay, dear. It's perfectly understandable."

"I think I'll just go upstairs to bed," he said, not wanting to start a riff with the others just because he didn't have his head right now.

"Alright," said Molly. She then gave him a squeeze and a quick peck on the cheek, as he rose from his seat. "Goodnight dear."

"Goodnight," he said softly, turning to leave the room.

He paused in the hallway for a moment, his hand gently caressing the spot on his cheek where Molly had kissed him. It had felt so natural to him. Why couldn't things be like this with his mother?

Feeling as though he was being watched, he saw Moody watching him out of the corner of his eye. The odd man harrumphed, before making himself more comfortable in the wooden chair in the hallway.

Draco quickly climbed the stairs to his room, changed into his pajamas, and crawled into bed. He knew there was no way he would fall asleep anytime soon. He needed to lay there in the darkness for a while to think about things. To think about where his own loyalties lied… with his own blood… or the family he had come to love as his own.

* * *

A/N: I really enjoyed writing that chapter. I hope you all liked my explanation for Narcissa's appearance. The information about Secret-Keepers actually came from JK's website and from an interview with her, though I've probably twisted it a bit to suit my needs. What did you all think? Don't forget to leave a review! 


	22. Mother Dearest

**Chapter 22- Mother Dearest **

The next morning found Draco feeling just as bewildered as he had before. He had barely slept all night, thinking about the situation, and he was now exceptionally grouchy. His mother's sudden reappearance had really thrown him for a loop and he didn't know what to say or how to act around her.

He kept to himself and ignored the others, who were up awfully early this morning and rather cheery as well. He lagged behind going down to breakfast, hoping to speak with his mother again without the others around. Once he had showered and dressed, he looked for his mother in the room she had been given, but found it empty. The bed had not yet been made and the Muggle clothing Narcissa had been wearing the night before had been tossed into one corner, completely forgotten. He could only assume that Mrs. Weasley must have left something out for his mother to wear, knowing that she wouldn't be comfortable in Muggle clothing for much longer.

Figuring that she had gone down to breakfast, as she was requested the night before, he headed downstairs to grab a bite to eat himself. He noticed that Moody had abandoned his post in the hallway, finally heading home. He must have decided that Narcissa Malfoy did not pose any imminent threat, at least for the time being. Draco knew it wouldn't be long before the crotchety old man found his way back to headquarters to assess the situation. Before reaching the kitchen, however, Draco saw his mother sitting quietly by herself in the drawing room, staring into the fire.

She had yet to notice him standing in the entryway, so he watched her for a moment as he pondered once again what he was going to say to her. He had been over countless conversations with his mother in his head while trying to fall asleep last night. None of them had gone particularly well, which is why he was hesitant to announce his presence just yet.

Narcissa sighed irritably and turned her head slightly to peer at the large family tapestry that adorned the far wall. Although the tapestry was immensely old and looked as though Doxies had gnawed their way through it, the golden thread that had been wound through its delicate fibers indicated the she was indeed of blood relation to the Blacks. A look of distaste suddenly crossed his mother's features and she shook her head slightly before letting out another sigh. Draco imagined that her disgust was due to the numerous scorch marks that marred the tapestry, representing family members that had not adhered to the "always pure" motto.

Watching her still, Draco noticed that his mother looked drastically different than she had the night before. Gone, of course, was the Muggle clothing that had been cast aside. Instead she wore an old robe, that had probably been quite elegant during its time, but definitely represented fashion of days long past. It had most likely once belonged to her aunt, left in storage among the other things that still cluttered Black Manor. However, the robe suited her well, a navy blue with flattering pleats that showed off her slight frame. Even her hair was different. Gone were the long wild tendrils of blond hair that had cascaded down her back in waves, frizzed because of her experience out in the rain. Her long hair was now neatly done up in an elaborate knot on top of her head, sleek and sophisticated. Her demeanor had changed as well. Yesterday she had been a nervous wreck; today she seemed cold and distant once again. The only thing that reminded of Draco of what she had been through was her painfully thin frame and the fact her face was devoid of any makeup.

Narcissa looked so much like her former self that it was easy for Draco to forget the woman that had stumbled upon them last night. She even held herself differently; sitting severely upright, her body almost rigid, her legs crossed at the ankles, ever the picture of a society woman. Her face was a mask of indifference as her pale blue eyes, so much like Draco's own, turned to stare back into the fire.

Draco didn't know why, but seeing her sitting there looking so much like the mother he knew, unsettled him greatly. Most children might feel relieved to see their parent looking as how they remembered them, but for Draco, he felt nothing but dread. It was as if nothing had happened in the last year. It had been easier when he saw her looking almost human last night, desperate and fearful. At least then he knew that she was capable of some kind of emotion, something he had been sure she was devoid of while he was growing up. She had always been cold and distant with him, rarely affectionate. The only time he had ever remotely felt her love for him was in her letters and the expensive sweets that she sent while he was away at Hogwarts.

But seeing her like this, looking quite unconcerned about what had happened to her over the course of this past year, made him feel lost and uncertain. Would things go back to the way they were?

She must have finally sensed that she was being watched because she turned her head in his direction. "Draco," she said softly.

He paused for a moment, uncertain what to say. He finally decided on the truth. "I was about to go to breakfast. Have you eaten?" he asked.

She nodded. She then smiled, her lips tightly drawn, and held her hand out to him in greeting. He walked across the room and took her hand before sitting down beside his mother. Her hand was warm in his own, so much smaller than he had remembered.

"It's been so long… let me see you…" she said softly. She then relaxed somewhat and turned towards him, studying him intently.

Draco felt himself blush under such scrutiny and opted to stare down at his lap, still unsure of what to say to his long lost mother. He couldn't help but think that if this were Mrs. Weasley that he would already be enveloped in one of her infamous hugs; his mother wasn't really the hugging type. He hated himself for comparing the two women, but he couldn't help it.

"You look so different. I still can't get over how much you've grown! You're as tall as Lucius now," she commented.

Draco then looked at her strangely, surprised that she would bring up his father after he had run away from the damn man last summer. She didn't seem to notice his discomfort. Her eyes scanned every inch of him, taking in his appearance. He had often worn Muggle style clothing instead of robes when he had still lived with his mother, as was the fashion for most teenagers, but he couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with what he was wearing under her scrutinizing stare. He was well aware at how worn his clothing had become, and he felt unfit for her approval.

"Still wearing these old things, I see," she added, gesturing towards his pants and shirt. "Though I suppose it can't be helped."

Draco bristled, trying desperately not to let his mother get underneath his skin, but failing miserably. He couldn't help it if he was virtually penniless and relied on his godfather, Severus, and the Weasleys to support him. He was careful with the things he did own, knowing that he no longer had the luxury to afford the expensive clothing he had been accustomed to in his youth. He felt that he still looked quite good, considering the numerous lengthening and preservation charms Mrs. Weasley had cast on his clothes to hold them together as he continued to grow taller.

"And this hair…" she said, rolling a few loose strands between her fingers. "I think I preferred how you used to wear it… over this…" she muttered. She had been the one to encourage him to slick his hair back, insisting that he keep a well-manicured appearance at all times.

"I like it this way," he said firmly as he brushed her hand aside. He refused to allow his mother to get the best of him, though she was already starting to succeed in making him feel about one inch tall.

She sighed loudly, to illustrate that she still disapproved. "I do hope you've at least kept your grades up. I hate to see everything you've worked for gone to waste."

"My grades are fine, mother," he replied curtly.

"Hm," was all she said in response. He knew that she could sense that he was different, that he had changed somehow.

Narcissa then gave him one last glance over, stopping only when she reached the hand she was still holding in her own. She turned it over and stroked the soft skin with the pad of her thumb. She stopped when she noticed that something was amiss.

"What is this?" she asked, tracing the faint scar that lined his palm with her finger.

"Nothing," Draco replied quickly, removing his hand from his mother's own. "Just sliced it by accident when I was cutting up some Mandrake Root in Potions." His lie was smooth and she didn't seem to notice his deception. Draco really didn't feel like telling her the long story of how he, Hermione, Ron, and Harry had resurrected Sirius Black from beyond the Veil by using their own blood. She would never be able to understand anyway.

"I think that the school nurse should have at least a job at healing you. Why did she leave you with a scar?" she asked.

He shrugged noncommittally. "You're looking well," he commented, hoping to steer the conversation away from himself.

"Yes, thank you for noticing," she replied, smiling wanly. From the glimmer in her eye he could tell that she knew she was being maneuvered. After all, she was a Slytherin herself. "It felt good to freshen up and get out of despicable Muggle clothing," she added, playing along.

"If it was so despicable, why were you wearing it?" he asked, curious as ever now.

"A woman does what she must to protect herself," she said, her eyes ablaze from the reflection of the fire.

Draco couldn't help but feel frustrated by her evasiveness. "What does that mean?"

"I didn't have many options, Draco. I stole them from a clothes line in attempt to hide among those awful creatures."

"Awful creatures? You mean Muggles?" he asked. He never really had any experience with them himself, but he was beginning to think that there weren't half bad after listening to everyone in the house go on about how clever they were to survive without magic. Even Harry insisted that they were alright, despite what his Muggle uncle had done to him. Draco was personally reserving judgment until he interacted more with them on his own. After all, Hermione wasn't half bad and she was a Muggle-born.

"Of course!" she spat. "It was awful staying in those shelters, but I had no other choice." It seemed that her strong dislike for Muggle things hadn't wavered since her stay among them. If anything, her animosity seemed to have increased ten fold.

"Why were you on the run?" Draco asked, still not clear on what had happened to his mother.

"I was supposed to appear before the Dark Lord, but I refused. There was a price on my head and I almost didn't escape when they finally caught up with me," she said softly, her gaze turning away from him.

"How _did_ you escape?" he asked, afraid of what she might reveal.

She shook her head instead, still refusing to explain what happened. "I did what I had to do to survive. I refuse to sit here and discuss it any further."

"Mother, what did they do to you?" Draco persisted, his voice barely above a whisper.

"It doesn't matter, now," she replied, but that haunted look returning to her eyes. "I lost what little protection I had when your father was captured. It was expected that I would follow in his path, but…. I-I just couldn't… I still believe in the cause… I just can't do what they asked of me…all that death…" she shivered uncontrollably. "I just had to get away from all of that."

"The cause?" Draco asked, raising an eyebrow. He had heard of all this before, having been raised by the woman, but it was hard to believe that she still felt so strongly about preserving the pure blood line after everything she had been through. "I thought by now you would have realized that it's all a bunch of hogwash… The Dark Lord himself is a half-blood!"

"Don't speak such atrocities," she said fearfully, looking around as if she expected the Dark Lord himself to come out of the wood work and strike them down.

"It's true!" he shouted.

"You sound like those Muggle-loving Weasleys!"

Draco sighed in frustration, knowing that he could never change his mother's mind on the matter.

Sensing that she wasn't going to win this conversation, Narcissa turned to another subject. "Enough about me. Tell me what's happened to you since I last saw you… you mentioned before that you live here…" she said, gesturing to the rest of the house with disgust. "Are you and Severus living here now?"

"Well… actually, no he's not," he replied, unsure of how to move forward.

"You're _not_ living with your godfather?"

"Well, I did try to at first, but it was too dangerous while he was spying for the Or…O-Order," he began to explain, not sure how much he should give away about the resistance against Voldemort. "I was given other living arrangements instead… and it's worked out for the most part…"

"And what living arrangements would that be?" she questioned.

"I'm staying with the Weasleys," he muttered.

Something flashed behind her eyes, and Draco knew that things were not going well. "What! Why is my son staying with those Muggle-loving poor excuses of witches and wizards?" she shouted.

Draco cringed at the tone in her voice and sincerely hoped that no one else in the house had heard her ranting. This was exactly what he did not want to happen. They were entering dangerous territory and Draco knew that there might not be any hope of recovery if he revealed what he really thought of the Weasleys, Molly especially. He secretly loved being doted on by her, especially since his own mother had never paid much attention to him. The house elves had been forced to raise him while she worried about other more important things… like managing the Manor and planning the next social event. In fact, Molly had been more of a mother in this past year than Narcissa had ever been to him.

"Listen… I didn't like the arrangement at first myself… but the Weasleys are not bad. They've been kind to me…" he tried to explain.

Narcissa studied him quizzically. "I don't understand! You are not the son that I know. How can you stand to be here in this run down filth in their poor company!" She turned her nose up in distaste.

Despite what he was thinking of his mother, Draco couldn't help but be embarrassed by the living conditions. The Black house was once the epitome of high society and now it was practically in ruins after years of disuse. As hard as the Weasleys had tried to make it home, the remaining traces of dark magic had lingered made it hard to make it much of anything. The old fashioned gas lamps that lined the walls flickered dim light over the peeling wallpaper and threadbare carpets, making the hallway and rooms appear gloomy at best. Even during the daylight the manor was amazingly dark. And often there was the sound something scuttling behind the baseboards in the hallway.

The more he thought about what she had said, the angrier he began. "Hey! Don't talk about them like that! You don't know them! They took me in and treated me well! And they took you in too, for that matter!" he countered.

"They didn't take me in, Draco," she spat, coldly. "I'm a prisoner here!" She raised her arm to show him the magical tether bracelet to illustrate her point.

Draco couldn't find a rebuttal there, so he started in a new direction. A fire was burning in his chest, and he suddenly felt like fighting with his mother, even if there was no end in sight. Years of emotional negligence had finally built up and he could no longer contain the words that were flying out of his mouth.

"If this place is such run down filth, why did you come here in the first place?"

"I had no other option," she replied. "I told you that."

"Whether neither did I!" he shouted, feeling a mixture of emotions welling in his chest.

His mother was quiet for a few moments as she thought about what he had said. She finally closed her eyes and replied, "You made your choice Draco, when you ran away."

Draco sighed, remembering the last time he saw his mother. Lucius had sprung from Azkaban after the Dementors had left. He had immediately returned home to collect his family and grab what they could before the Ministry seized their assets. He would never forget seeing his father storming down the great hallway, his robes filthy and his long platinum blond hair unkempt. The wild gleam in his eyes was fierce to say the least and Draco had never felt more afraid in his life, especially when he saw Lucius forcefully dragging his mother by her arm down the hall and the tears streaming down her face.

"_Just do what your father says, Draco,"_ his mother had said frantically, before disappearing into the master bedroom to collect their things.

It was then that Draco had made his decision to run away. He didn't want to even begin to think of what his life would have been like this past year if he had listened to his parents and left with them.

"I had to, mother. You knew Lucius was going to have me take the dark mark. You won't take it yourself, but you expected me too?" he asked.

Narcissa looked away, unable to respond. It was then that Draco finally knew the truth. It hurt to know that he had never really mattered at all. Her devotion had always been to Lucius.

"Would you be with him now if he hadn't been captured again?"

After a long pause she answered, "Yes."

Draco continued, desperately wanting to know after all this time, what had motivated his mother to stay with Lucius. "Why are you so loyal to him after all he put us through?"

"You wouldn't understand…" she said softly, her eyes shining now.

"I wouldn't understand? Are you serious? I lived through it!" he shouted, ignoring the tears that collected in his mother's eyes. "He put us through hell! We were always under constant scrutiny by the Ministry because of his dark associations, even before the Dark Lord returned. And once he was resurrected it only got worse! He made me attend all of those awful meetings- where they tortured Muggles! Those poor people didn't even do anything wrong!"

"Draco, stop it," his mother pleaded, not wanting to hear any more.

"No! He even shamed our family name when he was captured. It was all over the papers. Everyone in Hogwarts knew what happened, and I had to hear about it everyday from my classmates. Do you know what it's like to hear constant jeers about your own family? What good is supporting the Dark Lord if our very name is a disgrace? We lost everything because of Lucius! And for what? So that he could grovel at some half-blood's feet for the sake of some _cause_!"

"Stop it," she shouted, slapping Draco across the face.

Draco turned his head and clasped his hand to the stinging red spot where she had struck him, not wanting to believe what had just happened. Lucius was the only one to have ever laid a hand on him. He jumped up from his seat but stopped when he heard his mother call to him.

"I'm sorry, Dragon… I didn't mean it..." Narcissa looked at him, her eyes pleading for understanding. "I loved him. I never thought it would be this way."

Draco turned to look at her, his hand still clutching his face, where it was pulsing painfully. "How could you love a monster?" he spat.

"He's not a monster! Don't you dare talk about your father that way!"

"I have every right, Mother! I was always nothing more than a failure to him. No matter how hard I tried, or how I much I emulated him, it was never enough. He used to beat me when I didn't meet his expectations. For Merlin's sake, he strung me up in the dungeon after my first year when I failed to get Harry Potter kicked out of school. And you knew… " Draco said, his voice become choked with emotion. "You knew! And you never did anything to stop him!"

"I know," Narcissa moaned, burying her face in her hands. "I know… I'm so sorry. At the time I though he was doing what was best…"

"And that involved beating a child!" Draco yelled, his eyes blazing with pain. "Do you know what he did to me when he finally saw me again on Halloween? Do you?"

"No," she moaned, raising her head from her hands, tears streaming down her face.

Draco couldn't help but remember his father's words to him before he cursed his son with an unforgivable.

"_I am very disappointed in you, Draco," Lucius had scolded. "You could have joined us and been on the winning side. Instead you decided to befriend our enemy. Why?" he asked angrily._

_And then: "You will die for your betrayal Draco!" screamed his father in his ear as he increased his grip on his arms. "But first you will watch your friend suffer!"_

Draco had then watched helplessly as Harry had been tortured by Voldemort.

"_There is nothing you can do for him, Draco. Don't be a fool!" said his father, striking his son roughly on his right shoulder. Pain radiated from his shoulder and down his chest and back as he continued to protest._

When Voldemort heard Draco's comments that Harry would eventually be his downfall, he ordered Lucius to teach his son a lesson.

"He used the cruciatus curse one me!" Draco yelled at his mother. "To punish me for not following him in his footsteps. Does that sound like a father to you?"

The pain had been unlike anything Draco had ever known. His entire body had felt as if it were on fire and that he was being ripped and torn apart. He couldn't even tell if he was screaming or not. The pain had seemed to last for an endless amount of time.

"I didn't know…" she moaned pitifully.

"Did you ever care for me at all?" Draco asked, crying now.

"Of course I did! I love you!"

"Then how did you let that man single handedly ruin our lives?"

"Someday you'll understand what you'll do for love."

Draco wanted so badly to say something in reply, but the lump in his throat combined with the complete shock that his mother had little or no sympathy for what he had gone through left him speechless. He stood there a few moments longer, gaping like a fish, until he decided that he simply couldn't take it any longer.

And with that, Draco stormed out of the room and went up to the bedroom he shared with Ron, grateful that he could at least be alone for a while. He had long forgotten about his breakfast.

He hated the tears that were streaming down his face and he felt weak and useless as he lay in his bed facing the wall. After a short while he felt a warm weight settle on the bed beside him and he quickly wiped away the tears and tried to compose himself, knowing who was sitting with him.

"Did everyone hear?" he asked, turning over to face her. He was starting to feel quite embarrassed about what had happened only moments ago.

Molly nodded sadly. "But I managed to throw up a silencing charm before they got too much of an earful. I also instructed them to leave you alone today, so you let me know if they start pestering you."

"Thanks," Draco replied gratefully. He gave a sniffle, and looked away, suddenly hating the concern he could see in Molly's eyes. Why couldn't his mother look at him that way?

"I'm sure everything will turn out alright, Draco… and if it doesn't, you'll always have us," said Molly, somehow understanding what he was afraid of without him having to voice it aloud.

Knowing that he wouldn't be abandoned simply because his mother returned, filled him with such relief that he began to weep again, confused as to why he was feeling so sad and happy all at the same time. Molly swept him up into her arms and he settled against her bosom, relishing the warmth and acceptance he felt in her embrace. She whispered reassuring things into his ear until he was finally calm again.

"There now… we had ourselves a good cry," she said, finally pulling away and wiping a stray tear from her own eye. "I brought you some toast and juice if you want it," she said gesturing towards the plate she had set on the night stand earlier. "It's almost noon so I'll be serving lunch in a short while. Will you come down?"

Draco nodded and sat up. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Molly replied, kissing him on the temple before leaving the room.

Alone once again, Draco felt much better than he had before. He still hated that he had allowed his mother to get to him like this so he made himself a promise. This would be the last time he ever cried over Narcissa Malfoy.

* * *

Harry shouted uproariously as he maneuvered his godfather's motorcycle through the air, pushing it to go death defying speeds. Sirius gave a loud whoop behind him as he did another loop-de-loop. Driven by the adrenaline rush he was feeling, Harry performed numerous dives and various aerial feats, all of which left them feeling as if they could barely hold on. Centrifugal force alone was responsible for keeping them in the seat. It was an exhilarating feeling, so different than when he flew on a broom. His Firebolt made him feel like he was always in control, but this enchanted motorcycle had a mind of its own, much like the Ford Anglia Harry and Ron took to school their second year. It added an element of danger and suspense that he simply couldn't match with his broom.

After flying for more than an hour, the pair decided it was time to go home. Harry always found himself extremely tired after flying the motorbike, as the adrenaline that had coursed through his veins began to diminish. Harry made a dive for the ground through a clearing of trees and came to land only a few meters from the cabin, kicking up a layer of dust as Harry applied the breaks to slow the motorbike.

"That was so cool!" Harry shouted, jumping off the bike once Sirius had gotten off the back. "Can we do that again soon?"

"Sure," Sirius replied, "I like hanging out with you kiddo."

Harry laughed. "You know… I am of age and technically an adult… how long are you going to keep calling me kiddo?"

Sirius looked thoughtful for a few moments before replying, "Always," with a nod of his head and a smile plastered on his face. Harry smiled in return, secretly enjoying the term of endearment.

The pair made their way to the large porch and sat down on the steps to enjoy the shade. They each peeled off their matching black leather jackets and tossed them aside. It was evident from the look on both their faces that they were both hot and tired from their little adventure.

"Merlin, it's hot out here!" Sirius exclaimed, wiping the dripping sweat from his brow.

"Yeah," Harry said feeling the heat for the first time. It had been much cooler when they were several hundred yards above the ground, with the wind whipping about them as they soared through the air.

"Thirsty?" Sirius asked.

Harry shrugged. "Sure." He then watched as Sirius pulled out his wand and conjured to tall glasses of cold lemonade. Harry smirked at him as he grabbed one for himself. "You know, we could have just gone inside and gotten something to drink."

Sirius shook his head. "This was easier. Besides, it's too hot to move."

Harry sniggered at Sirius's laziness before taking a long sip of his cool drink. It was wonderfully delicious and felt like heaven on his parched throat. He hadn't realized how thirsty he had really been until now.

Sirius downed his own glass of lemonade rather quickly and used his wand to fill his glass again. He took another few sips before turning to his godson. "So why did you go to headquarters all of a sudden last night? Did Draco miss you already? Need a Harry fix," he said jokingly.

Harry smirked at his godfather's candor, knowing that he was still trying to accept their relationship.

"Actually, there's something I've been meaning to share with you," Harry began.

"Oh yeah?" Sirius asked, taking another sip of his lemonade.

"Narcissa Malfoy showed up at your house last night…"

"What?" the older man exclaimed, clearly surprised.

Although reluctant, Harry proceeded to tell him what Draco had relayed to him yesterday evening and the events that had led up to Narcissa's disappearance last year. Like Harry, Sirius had a lot of questions that couldn't be answered. Apparently he was just as unsettled about his cousin's sudden appearance as the rest of them.

"Does Remus know?" Sirius asked curiously.

Harry nodded, somewhat regretfully. He knew that Sirius was still sometimes jealous of Remus's relationship with him, even though they had come to some sort of truce. He tried to treat each of them equally, but it was hard sometimes having two male parental figures to answer to.

He had explained the situation to Remus earlier today when they had gone for their early morning swim. Sirius had chosen to sleep in late again. Although he still joined them occasionally, Sirius was not much of a morning person and the idea of getting up early for something as mundane as swimming was not at all appealing to him. His previous insistence upon joining them every morning had waned as the summer progressed. Harry suspected that part of the reason Sirius had so much difficulty getting up early was because he was a night owl by nature, and his dreams of his time in Limbo still haunted what little rest he got.

"So is Draco alright?" Sirius asked.

Harry was thoughtful for a few moments. "I'm not really sure… he says that he is, but I think that her sudden appearance has really thrown him off balance."

"Isn't he glad to see her? I mean… I never cared for her myself, but she is his mother," Sirius stated, his blue eyes still searching Harry for answers.

"I suppose," Harry replied with a sigh. "But it's not necessarily a happy reunion. I don't think they had that great of a relationship to begin with it."

"That's a shame… but it doesn't really surprise me…"

Harry was curious now. "Why's that?"

"Well, she's related to my family, isn't she? So genetically speaking she must be a cold hearted snake, right?"

"I guess…" Harry replied, hating that particular phrase. Being a parseltongue made him a little more favorable to snakes than most people. "But you're not so bad… and I'm rather fond of Draco," he added, hoping to lighten the conversation a bit.

Sirius smirked, but looked away as he grew solemn once again. "Well, all I'm saying is that Draco better watch his back. In all things there is a reason…"

* * *

Narcissa had kept to herself after their brief conversation that morning, having retreated to the room she had been given instead of interacting with anyone else. To Draco's knowledge, his mother had not even come down for lunch that afternoon. Draco couldn't bring himself to care, however. He was still angry with her indifference over how Lucius had treated him. He had tried to make his peace and his efforts had all been in vain. As far as he was concerned, his mother could avoid him for the rest of the summer and he couldn't be happier.

Unfortunately, his wish to avoid one another did not come true. Later that afternoon, Narcissa decided to make another appearance. Of course it just had to have been when Draco was tidying up the living room for Molly. With nothing to do, he had gotten bored and taken it upon himself to put away some of the things that had started to collect in what essentially was their "common room."

He was alone in the house, except for a few Order members downstairs. The others had gone to visit the twins in Diagon Alley for a couple of hours- probably on orders from Molly to leave him alone. They had invited him along to be polite, but he knew the real reason they were all going. At the time he hadn't felt like joining them anyway, but now he was wishing that he had.

His mother watched him from the entryway, much like how he had watched her earlier, silently pleading with him to notice her presence. He ignored her instead and moved toward the table and began stacking books and papers that had been spread across the surface haphazardly. Knowing that she was being ignored, she moved towards him and rested her hands on the back of one of the chairs.

"I'm sorry for earlier…" she began. "I didn't mean to come across as cold or uncaring. I'm sorry for what has happened to you and that I did nothing to prevent it… but I can't go back and change it… I'm sorry. Truly I am… Can forgive me?"

Surprised by her sudden speech, Draco nodded, not quite believing what he was hearing. He didn't know if he actually could forgive her or not, but it was easier to have her believe that he already had.

"Draco, can we start over…" she asked softly, clearly intent on making peace.

He shrugged noncommittally and finished gathering the various pieces of parchment that had littered the wooden surface. He set them aside along with a couple pots of ink and several quills.

"Draco…"

"Hm?"

"Draco…" she said, calling his name again, when it was clear that he was still trying to ignore her. "Why are you treating me this way?"

"What way?" he mocked.

"Like I'm not even in the room," she replied, unable to hide the hurt in her voice.

"I'm busy."

"What are you even doing?" she asked curiously.

"What's it look like I'm doing?" he asked dully, not willing to meet her gaze just yet.

"Well, it looks as though you're cleaning," she replied.

"I guess," he said, still trying to ignore her.

"Do they make you earn your keep or something?"

"No. I choose to help out in thanks for everything they've done for me. I appreciate the fact that they look out for me and treat me like family," Draco replied, finally looking up and staring straight into her eyes. She got the message loud and clear. "_They have done more for me than you've ever done."_

Narcissa bristled uncomfortably. "But why? Are there not any house elves?" she asked, turning up her nose in distaste. "I could have sworn the manor had house elves to keep things in order."

"No," he replied, remembering there was once a house elf, Kreacher, that had stayed with the Manor after his mistress died. However he hadn't been seen again after he had betrayed Sirius and lied to Harry at the end of their fifth year. "We each do our share here. I suggest that you help out occasionally as well. I doubt anyone will be by to clean your room," he added, remembering the state of his mother's room earlier.

She scoffed in dissatisfaction that she would have to be responsible for keeping her room clean. As far as Draco knew, his mother had never lifted a finger to do anything in her life, having been born into wealth. For that matter, neither had Draco before he had come to live with the Weasleys.

"Those Weasleys probably couldn't afford to purchase a house elf of their own anyways… not with all of those awful children to feed…" she began.

"Just shut up, Mother… I don't want to hear it…"

"Hear what? Just how poor those red headed Muggle lovers are?"

Draco looked at her in disbelief. "You are incredible! Don't you get it? We're poor now too! The Ministry seized everything because of Lucius!"

Narcissa pursed her lips and looked as though she were choosing her next words. "I'm working on a way to resolve that situation," she said.

"How?" he asked curiously, not really believing her.

"It doesn't matter now… I need to check on a few things first."

"Whatever," said Draco, moving away from her in disgust.

He then grabbed the numerous school bags from where they had been left around the room and neatly deposited by the wall near the table they studied at. He also collected the chess board and pieces from the floor and set them up on the table for a game with Ron later. He then used his wand to banish a plate of stale cookies to the waste bin in the kitchen, before casting a dusting charm around the room. It was the only two household charms he was efficient at using.

His mother watched him all the while, angry that he was still ignoring her and that he son was cleaning up the room like a common maid. There is an unspoken tension between them now and neither knew how to break it. Draco no longer felt like himself. He wasn't sure how to act or what to say. A part of him felt like he was reverting back to his old self and he hated it.

Glancing around the room, Draco was satisfied that everything was back in order. The only thing he had left to do was toss the ball that was against the couch back into the corner of the room.

"What's that?" his mother asked as he grabbed the ball.

"A beach ball," he replied, looking down at the colorful object in his hands.

"A beach what?"

"A beach _ball_. I guess it's a Muggle thing they use at the beach."

"But why is it here?" she asked, clearly perplexed.

"Don't know. I think its left over from a party we had for H-" Draco started to say, but then stopped himself. "For a friend. It had been used as a portkey, but now we bat it around the room when we're bored."

He then threw the ball in the corner, his mother watching curiously as it bounced a few times before coming to a rest. "How civilized," Narcissa commented dryly, before folding her arms across her chest.

Draco was about to turn to check under the couch to see if there was anything that he had missed when he heard his mother let out a loud yelp in surprise. He turned back to heard and smirked at the sight he beheld.

"What is it?" Narcissa asked, backing away from the tiny fur ball and that was purring loudly and attempting to rub up against her legs.

When it was clear his little pet wasn't going to have her affections reciprocated, Jinx peered up at his mother cautiously. Her eyes suddenly widened and her ears pressed flat against her head as she the hair on her back and tail began to rise in alarm. Seeing the Kneezle's sudden reaction, Narcissa froze in place for a moment, looking quite afraid. Draco couldn't help but find the situation amusing and wondered what Jinx was sensing from his mother for her to react that way all of a sudden.

"Oh, that's Jinx. She's a Kneazle," he replied nonchalantly, not sure whether or not to tell her that Jinx belonged to him.

"What does it want from me?" she asked fearfully, still backing away.

"She was just being friendly," Draco said, as he went to bend down and retrieve his pet, who was looking quite afraid now. "I'm not sure what's gotten into her." Before he could grab Jinx, however, his mother kicked at the poor thing.

"There are filthy beasts all over this place. First the hippogriff upstairs, and now this thing," she said kicking her foot at Jinx to ward it away when curiosity got the better of it and it came too near to her again. Finally giving up, Jinx sauntered off grumpily.

"Hey, you don't have to be so mean. She wasn't hurting you," he said defensively. Draco was beyond upset that she would treat something so innocent so cruelly. Something turned cold inside of him, after all that happened she was still the same heartless person as before.

Apparently that was the last straw because Narcissa suddenly snapped again. "I don't understand you! How can you stand being here?" his mother sneered, looking at their surroundings with distaste. He knew that it was the people here that disgusted her and not necessarily the house itself. Draco didn't comment, not really willing to admit to his mother yet just how much he had come to love the Weasleys. "Why don't you just leave?" she pushed when Draco didn't respond to her previous question.

"I have no where else to go…" he said quietly, still unwilling to tell his mother the truth. That he felt at home with the Weasleys. That he hadn't ever considered leaving since he had been in their care.

She studied him quietly for a few moments. "If I were to leave, would you come with me?"

"That isn't even possible right now," Draco commented, not sure what his answer would be if she asked again.

"I'll find a way…" she said softly.

"Whatever," Draco replied, pushing past her as he walked out of the room. That was quickly becoming his favorite phrase to say to his mother.

He didn't know how he felt about his mother's proposition. Part of him was secretly relieved that his mother still wanted him, but another part of him wanted nothing to do with her. The thought of ever leaving the Weasleys was terrifying to him somehow. Recently he had begun to think that the only way that would happen was when he and Harry finally got married. But now? He didn't know. Feeling disgusted, Draco stormed up stairs to the room he shared with Ron, slamming the door behind him.

"What's with you?" Ron asked.

Draco whirled around, startled to see the red head in their room. The group must have gotten back earlier than expected, though he hadn't noticed their return. From the pile of sweets and Weasley products on his bed it looked as though Ron hadn't returned empty handed.

"Shut it Weasel," Draco spat at him, before he even realized what he had said.

Looking hurt by the comment Ron left the room before Draco has a chance to apologize. Feeling awful for taking his anger from his mother out on his friend… his brother… Draco slumped down on his bed, wondering what exactly was wrong with him.

* * *

A/N: Whew! There's a lot of angst in this story! It tires me out writing it all. I don't know about the rest of you, but I found a lot of parallels between my characterizations of Petunia and Narcissa. (You'd have to read my other fic, She's Come Undone, to understand). They were both confused, desperate women, struggling to understand the monsters that they had married. What did you all think? Don't forget to leave a review. 


	23. A Bit of Summer Fun

**Chapter 23- A Bit of Summer Fun**

Harry sat on the old worn couch in the living room area of the cabin, waiting for his friends to arrive through the Floo. He had finally gotten around to inviting his best friends over and he was looking forward to spending some time alone with them.

He had felt bad when Ron had let it slip that he never had a chance to hang out with him alone. Even Hermione had agreed that she had missed their little trio. Harry hadn't even realized how badly he had neglected them since he and Draco began their relationship. Thinking back, he couldn't remember the last time the three of them were ever alone together. During their sixth year Harry had spent so much time ignoring everyone while he dealt with the strange dreams he was having and resisting the urge to cut that he never really made time for his best friends. He could only assume that the last time they spent any quality time together was toward the end of their fifth year, over a year ago!

Harry knew that Draco had been little more than irritated that he had not been invited as well. Harry had tried to explain that he hadn't done anything with Ron and Hermione in a very long time and that this would give Draco some more time alone with his mum. But his boyfriend simply refused to understand. He was angry, for reasons Harry wasn't certain as to why. He felt bad about possibly causing a rift between them, but in his heart he knew that it was okay to do things separately from one another. Draco would get over it eventually. He was just stubborn at times.

While he waited for his friends, Harry flipped through a Quidditch magazine that Remus had gotten him a subscription to. The turning pages were the only noise to be heard in the silence of the cabin. Remus had gone off to get more groceries and Sirius was napping again upstairs.

Harry enjoyed this brief period of being alone immensely. It wasn't often that he was without Remus or Sirius by his side when he was home. He knew that both men enjoyed spending time with him, feeling the need to make up for all of the lost years, but he also knew that it was their way of keeping an eye on him. Although Harry had not cut himself since his birthday, there was still the fear that if overwhelmed that he would resort to such drastic measures again in order to cope. Harry couldn't deny that he still felt the urge sometimes, and that he had come close to hurting himself on more than a few occasions. So it didn't bother him so much that he was almost never alone. But he did relish the privacy he did get on occasion, like today.

The need to cut had become more bearable over time. Harry learned how to distract himself from the urge by keeping busy. He found ways to fill his time during the day whether it was working on homework, training with the others, helping Remus around the cabin, or swimming. Not only was swimming great for endurance, it had done wonders for his body. Once frail and pale looking, his small physique had begun to fill out as he put on some weight this summer, his muscles beginning to show some definition. Even his color had changed into a healthy tan. His dark black hair was now streaked with shades of brown, bleached from the hot summer sun. Harry loved the way he looked for the first time in his life and was starting to feel more like the man he was becoming. He hoped that he'd have a growth spurt some time soon that he didn't feel so small around Ron and Draco.

Harry had decided to skip his morning swim today, knowing that on a hot day like this, his friends might want to join him in the cool lake. He wasn't exactly sure what else to do with his friends. He hadn't really planned anything and he hoped that it was okay. Being able to even have people over to his home was still rather new to him and he was feeling kind of nervous for some odd reason. Sure they had been to the cabin numerous times with Draco and Ginny for training, but that always felt more like a Defense class than having his friends over.

Harry smiled when the flames in the fireplace suddenly turned to a bright green and Hermione and Ron were spit out of the hearth. Ron, who was a little more accustomed to this form of transportation, helped his girlfriend steady herself before turning to his friend. Harry noticed that each of them was carrying a knapsack and he hoped that they had remembered to bring their swim suits.

"Hey mate!" Ron said, grinning broadly.

"Hello," said Harry, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable with his guests.

Having never been allowed friends over when he had lived with Dursleys, he was suddenly at a loss as to what to say or how to act. The fact that these were his best friends and that he had known them for six years was somehow forgotten momentarily. He was determined to play the part of the good host and ensure that his friends had a good time while they were here. He tried to remember all the times he had gone to the Burrow when he was younger and wondered if he was forgetting something.

"Er… glad you could come. I hope your trip went well."

Hermione smirked at him, suddenly understanding his awkwardness. "No need to be so formal! You see us all the time. And this isn't the first time we've been here, you know. We train here almost daily with Sirius and Remus."

Harry smiled sheepishly. "I know… but that's somehow different. So how is everything?"

Hermione looked to Ron for a moment, as if she was unsure as to what to say. "Alright, I guess."

Harry knew that look. "Why? What's going on?"

"Draco is being a right git, that's what. Reverting back to his Malfoy self," Ron replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Ron!" Hermione protested, slapping his arm.

"What do you mean?"

"What Ron means is that Draco is having some difficulty now that his mum is around. He's been a bit… short tempered lately," Hermione explained, choosing her words carefully. "More so than usual."

"I was afraid of that," Harry replied quietly, secretly wishing he had invited Draco over instead so that he could see for himself how he was really doing. It had only been a couple of days since Narcissa Malfoy had darkened their doorstep.

"Short tempered doesn't even begin to cover it!" Ron countered. "The git practically bit my head off this morning because I was being too noisy when I rolled over in my sleep. Said my bed was squeaking too much and that I was keeping him awake. Can you believe him?"

"Ron stop calling him a git in front of Harry, it's not nice! How would you feel if someone called me names all the time in front of you!" Hermione scolded.

Ron rolled his eyes. "Well, Draco used to do it all the time… calling you Mudblood and all that…"

Hermione sighed in frustration. "That was a long time ago… and we weren't together then…"

"Doesn't matter, I liked you then," Ron admitted.

"And it still bothered you, right?" Hermione asked, hoping that he was finally getting her point.

Ron nodded reluctantly. "Sorry, Harry. I just get so frustrated with Draco sometimes. Just when I think he's a cool bloke, he goes and does something that reminds me of how he used to be."

Harry nodded, not really taking offense to what Ron had said. He knew that Draco could be difficult sometimes and he could only imagine how off kilter he must be feeling while trying to deal with his mum. He was quiet for a few moments as he thought about the blond, hoping that he was truly okay. Harry was so deep in thought thinking about his boyfriend that he hadn't realized Ron had said something to him.

"Earth to Harry… come in Harry…" Ron joked, while knocking on his head playfully.

"Sorry," Harry replied sheepishly, knocking Ron's hand away. "I just worry about him. Especially now."

"Perfectly understandable," Hermione replied, smiling at him reassuringly.

"So what do you want to do?" Harry asked, feeling somewhat awkward again. Should he offer them drinks or a snack? Would they even want to go swimming? What if they got bored or something? He just knew he should have planned better.

"We're up for anything," Ron replied, looking quite unconcerned despite Harry's odd nervousness.

Harry looked between them both, wondering if he should he mention his idea. What if they thought it was lame? Why was this suddenly so hard? What was wrong with him?

"We did bring our suits…" Hermione lightly suggested. "Like you asked."

"Er… right… yeah, so um… do you wanna take the row boat out onto the lake and maybe go for a swim?" he asked, feeling quite stupid.

"Sounds great!" Ron exclaimed. "I miss the ol' swimming hole at the Burrow. This summer at headquarters just hasn't been the same. I've been aching for a good swim."

"Okay," Harry replied excitedly, "Change into your suits and meet me down by the dock. I'm going to go get the boat in the water."

His friends nodded and smiled at him before taking off in separate directions toward the two bathrooms. Harry, who was already wearing his swim trunks and a t-shirt, made his way outside. His eyes had been adjusted to the light in the dimly lit cabin so he had to squint against the harsh rays of the sun. This wasn't the first time he had found himself wishing once that he had a pair of sunglasses. He made a mental note to ask Remus or Sirius to pick him up a pair the next time they picked up supplies.

He jogged bare footed happily down earthen path towards the lake, careful to avoid the occasional rock that littered the pathway. Once he had reached the dock, he grabbed the old rope that had been wound around one of the pillars and tugged the small row boat from the overgrown weeds that lined the shore and into the water. By the time he had finished, his friends had already joined him at the edge of the dock.

Harry climbed into the boat and looked up at his friends, grinning broadly. He couldn't help but notice how much the couple looked like complete opposites standing beside one another. Ron's pale, freckled skin stood in sharp contrast to Hermione's skin tone, which seemed to tan easily. Ron's red suit was old and a bit frayed, obviously a hand me down. Whereas Hermione's one piece lavender suit appeared to be brand new and came with a matching wrap, which she had tied neatly around her waist.

Harry settled the oars into the water before grabbing onto one of the posts to steady the boat so his friends could climb in.

"Well, c'mon," he said, motioning them to join him.

"Are you sure it's safe?" Hermione asked, eyeing the rickety row boat unsurely.

"It's safe," Harry replied. "Do you want a life jacket or something? Or maybe I can cast a buoyancy charm on you…"

"No, that's alright… I know how to swim," Hermione reminded him. "I just didn't expect the boat to look so… weathered…" she said, for lack of a better word.

Harry could understand her hesitance. The boat, which had once been painted bright white, had paint peeling and chipping off every square inch of it, revealing the grey, weathered wood beneath. Some of the edges were a little rough, and it occasionally sprung leaks, despite the waterproofing charms on it. He had also been hesitant the first time he had ridden in the boat near the beginning of the summer when he was still learning how to swim. But he had grown fond of it over time, despite its dilapidated appearance.

Trusting Harry that they wouldn't sink any time soon, Ron and Hermione boarded the boat, leaving their towels and wands behind on the dock. The three friends enjoyed the quiet little ride together, relishing the peace that surrounded the lake.

Harry rowed the boat steadily around the shore, pointing out the sites- which consisted of some malformed trees that looked suspiciously like the trees from the Wizard of Oz, and some odd looking burrows that Remus believed belonged to a colony of Nifflers. Within the few short months that Harry had lived there he had come to love this place, feeling at home for the first time in his life. And it felt special to share his little place in the world with his family, his friends.

Their relaxing ride soon turned into a playful argument as Ron decided to splash Harry for rocking the boat. Harry had been trying to push away from a large rock near the shore when his oar got caught, tipping them dangerously to one side. Harry countered the attack, scooping large handfuls of water at his friend as they drifted farther away from the shore.

Hermione, who had been caught in the middle, yelped as the cool water touched her warm skin. She jumped up from her seat to avoid the fray as much as possible, but that only sent the boat rocking even more. Ron and Harry took one look at each other and jumped up from their own seats keen on playing their impromptu version of King of the Mountain. Only this game looked more like do-anything-possible-to-push-your-friends-out-of-the-boat. Even Hermione joined in on the fun once she realized she was left with no other choice.

The boat rocked wildly as the three friends began to laugh and shriek at each other's antics, not really believing that it could actually tip over. They pushed and pulled and splashed and laughed at one another, enjoying their childish behaviors. At one point they had rocked the boat so badly to one side that it actually began taking on water.

"We're sinking!" Ron shouted over Hermione's yelp of surprise.

"Abandon ship!" Harry yelled.

All three of them found themselves diving into the water and coming up shrieking in laughter as the poor old boat dipped beneath the water level and descended to the depths of Silver Lake.

They then swam over towards the shallower end of the lake near the cabin and enjoyed swimming for a good deal while longer. Harry was pretty sure that the boat wouldn't be missed. And even if it was, they could always use a summoning charm to pull it from the bottom of the lake.

When they were thoroughly water logged, they climbed out of the lake and lay out on their towels on the dock. Hermione made sure to cast another sunscreen charm on Ron, knowing that he would burn otherwise.

They lay for a long while, reminiscing about their past adventures and enjoying the afternoon sun. When it suddenly grew quiet, Harry turned to look at his friends. Ron looked as though he had fallen asleep and was snoring softly. Hermione, however, had sat up and was eyeing him carefully.

"What?" Harry asked nervously, suddenly feeling self-conscious under her scrutiny.

She looked at him sadly and pointed to his arms, which were tan and flawless because of the spell he cast earlier.

"It's a glamour charm," he stated simply, intuitively knowing what she was alluding to. He had already gone through this scenario with Sirius not too long ago.

Hermione sighed, "I know, but why Harry? You don't have to hide your scars around us."

Harry shrugged, not really sure as what to say in response. He had gotten so used to applying the glamour charms each day that he hadn't really considered going a day without them. It was just easier, for everyone's sake, to pretend that none of that had ever happened. Harry certainly didn't want the reminders or to dwell on it. And he really didn't want anyone else be affected by the hideous scars that lined his arms either.

"You can always be yourself around us, Harry. You don't have to feel embarrassed or ashamed. We would never judge you," she said softly.

"I know, thanks," Harry replied, rubbing his arms subconsciously. "I think I do it more for myself. I don't always want be reminded how hideous I look."

"You're not hideous, Harry," Hermione chided. "I think you're quite attractive."

Before he could respond, Ron broke the tension. He sat up looking quite disgusted with his girlfriend. "Oy! I'm right here you know. Can you maybe hit on Harry when I'm not around?"

Hermione jumped in surprise at the sound of her boyfriend's voice. "I thought you were sleeping!"

"Can't sleep when my girlfriend is hitting on another guy! My best mate!" Ron retorted, not even looking remotely serious.

"Aw…are you jealous?" Hermione asked playfully.

"Me, jealous? Of course not. Why would I be jealous? You're my girlfriend, not his," Ron said, crossing his arms defensively across his chest. "Besides what's he got that I don't?"

"A tan!" she replied, giggling now.

Ron screwed up his face like a petulant child. "So what!"

"Maybe you're just jealous that you can't tan," Harry quipped.

"I do too tan!" Ron countered.

"No you don't. You just freckle!" said Hermione, laughing at Ron's horrified look.

"I'll have you know that my freckles grow together when I'm in the sun too long and I look tan. So there," he replied, sticking his tongue out at her.

Harry and Hermione busted out laughing, knowing that nothing was farther from the truth.

"You better watch it pip squeak," Ron said to Harry, wagging his finger at his best mate. "You keep laughing at me and I'll throw you into the lake."

"Ooh… I'm so scared!" Harry said, throwing up his hands and feigning fear.

"That's it! You're so going to get it!" Ron shouted, jumping to his feet and attempting to lunge towards Harry. Only he lost footing in the process and one foot slipped off the edge of the dock, sending Ron reeling and falling into the water. Hermione and Harry were now howling with laughter as Ron came up sputtering.

"This is so not funny!" he shouted, wiping the water out of his eyes.

"Yes, it is!" Hermione replied, grinning broadly.

Before Harry or Hermione could defend themselves, Ron had reached up and grabbed each of them by an ankle and had pulled them into the lake. They tumbled in and came up sputtering, much like Ron had before. The three of them spent the next half an hour splashing, dunking, and teasing one another as they played in the warm shallows of the lake, with hardly a care in the world.

* * *

A few hours later found the three friends relaxing on the front porch in the rockers with tall glasses of lemonade, still feeling quite full from their lunch. Ron couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed a day like this. At first he had felt bad about the whole situation, feeling as though he had pushed Harry into inviting them over. But now he was glad that he did. The three of them needed to feel reconnected to one another. It had been far too long since they spent any quality time together.

"This has been such a nice day," commented Hermione. "I'm glad that you invited us, Harry."

"No problem," said Harry, smiling appreciatively.

"You know the only thing that could make this day better?" Ron asked.

"What?" By the look on his face Ron knew that Harry was still eager to please his friends.

"Quidditch."

"Aw, that _does_ sound like fun…" said Harry longingly. "I have all that new Quidditch equipment I got from my birthday, and I haven't gotten a chance to try it out yet. Do you feel up to a game?"

"Yeah, but we don't have enough players. It's impossible to play with just the three of us… okay two of us," he said, after catching Hermione's eye. It was well known that she had a fear of heights and hated flying on a broom unless it was absolutely necessary. "That is unless we invited some other people over…" Ron suggested.

"Really?" Harry asked.

Hermione shook her head. "I don't know, Ron. Maybe Harry would rather it still be just the three of us today… like he planned."

"I don't see why not. We've already had a nice time alone with pip squeak over here," Ron replied, gesturing to their small friend. "And I really need the practice if I am ever to be any good."

"Ron…" his girlfriend began, wanting to scold him.

Harry cut her off quickly. "No, it's alright Hermione. If you both don't mind, I think it sounds like a great idea. I could use a good game of Quidditch. I haven't even been on my Firebolt all summer."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

Harry nodded eagerly, looking to Ron for input on how to proceed. "Who do you think we should invite?"

"Well, Ginny obviously, and maybe the twins?" Ron asked, automatically thinking of his siblings and fellow Gryffindor teammates.

"Sounds good," Harry replied. "I know his mum is there and all but ask if Draco wants to come over as well. He'd be mad if we didn't."

"Don't I know it," Ron grumbled under his breath. He had been on the receiving end of Draco's anger on more than one occasion these last few days. He was tired of being the teen's whipping post, but he was willing to put feelings aside when it came to Harry.

"Alright, let's go call them," said Harry, jumping up from his seat on the porch.

As they entered the cabin he could hear Hermione scolding Ron in a hushed whisper as they lingered on the porch for a moment. "_You don't just invite others over like that Ron… now Harry feels obligated. What if he wanted to spend more time alone with us? You obviously made him felt guilty about it before…_" her voice trailed off as they followed him inside.

"_Hermione," _Ron whispered back_. "Let it go. He said it was a good idea…"_

Finding the cabin still empty, Harry wondered if Sirius was still napping or if he had gone off for a walk while they had been swimming. The trio made their way over to the fireplace and got ready to make their call.

"What about Neville? I know he's not much a flyer, but we haven't seen him in a while and I'm sure he'd want to join you," Hermione suggested, acting as though she hasn't just reprimanded Ron for suggesting who to invite over for their impromptu Quidditch game.

"Sure," Harry replied, shrugging nonchalantly.

Ron threw in a handful of Floo powder and fire called the Order's Headquarters. Surprisingly he got just the person he was looking for.

"What's up?" his younger sibling asked, kneeling down in front of him when she discovered his head resting in the coals of the hearth in London.

"Hey Gin, you wanna come to Harry's and play Quidditch for a bit?" he asked his little sister.

She nodded eagerly. "Sure. Let me just tell mum," she said, rising to her feet.

"Wait! Ask if Draco wants to come too," he added, remembering Harry's request. "And fire call over to the joke shop and see if the twins want to join us. I think they close early on the weekends. And see if Neville can come as well…"

Ginny smiled appreciatively at her brother for remembering her boyfriend and nodded in reply before turning away again.

"Oh and bring our brooms," he called after her.

She whirled around and placed her hands on her hips in a posture that was reminiscent of their mother. "Anything else, your highness?" she asked sarcastically.

Ron thought about it for a second. "No… that will be all," he replied, grinning superiorly at her.

Ginny rolled her eyes and turned to find their mother and Draco. Ron had barely a chance to pull his head out of the fireplace when Draco came storming through, carrying his Nimbus 2001 and looking very determined.

"Well, that didn't take long," Ron muttered, getting out of the blonde's way.

"Hey," said Harry, grinning at his boyfriend.

"Hey," Draco replied, looking at the three of them uncertainly. "I thought you all want some _alone_ time… what's up with a game of Quidditch?" he asked, his voice laced with venom.

"We thought it would be fun and that you might be interested. Is that a problem?" Harry retorted, obviously not allowing Draco's rude behavior get to him.

Ron smirked at the pair. He knew Harry loved the stupid git, but Draco was still Draco. And that meant putting him in his place occasionally, which Harry was quite capable of.

"No… no problem," the blond replied as he gripped his broomstick a little tighter, looking quite sheepish.

"You don't want to stay back and spend some time with your m-" Harry began.

Draco's eyes widened and he shouted, "No! I mean… no… I need to get a way for a bit, if it's alright with you…"

"I kind of figured," Harry replied, taking Draco's hand in his own, as if to show him that there were no hard feelings for his comment earlier.

Ron rolled his eyes as he watched the exchange. The couple could be quite sickeningly sweet at times and irritated him to no end. They were always hanging all over each other and professing their love. It was enough to drive a man crazy. Especially when Hermione gave him that look that meant, "_Why can't you be more like that?"_

It wasn't long before Ginny and the twins were coming through the fireplace as well, carrying their own brooms. The youngest Weasley came through first, closely followed by George, who bumped into her and nearly sent her plowing into the coffee table. His twin came up behind him just quickly.

"Oy! We heard there was a game of Quidditch we could join," said Fred, pushing his siblings aside as he attempted to dust the soot from his clothing.

George copied his brother's vain attempt to get rid of the soot. "Yeah, let's get this game started!"

Just when they thought the flow of traffic had stopped, another figure came through.

"Hi Remus!" said Harry.

Ron saw that his friend was looking nervous once again, and wondered what that was all about. Harry had been a bit jumpy all afternoon and Ron couldn't figure out exactly what was going through his head.

Remus smiled at the group and shifted the heavy bags of groceries he was carrying from one arm to the other. Ron crinkled his nose at the thought of all the vegetables that would have to be scrubbed because Remus decided to floo in instead of Apparate outside the wards. Harry had explained once before that Remus didn't like having to walk all the way to the cabin with a heavy load and chose to Floo instead.

"Well, hello everyone. What's going on? I didn't schedule a training session then forget about it, did I?" Remus asked.

"No," Harry replied quickly. "I invited everyone over for a game of Quidditch. If that's alright? I know I should have probably asked first."

Remus smiled at him. "Of course it's alright. You don't need to ask to have your friends over."

"Thanks," Harry replied, returning the smile.

"Are you going to use your new equipment?" Remus asked.

Harry nodded excitedly. "Only I don't know where to play. There really isn't a clearing in the woods that's large enough."

"How about playing over the lake?" Remus suggested. "It's not very large, practically a pond really. You could put the goal posts on either end. Plus if you try any of that death defying dives you so famous for, I don't have to worry about you smacking into the ground. You can just fall into the water instead."

"Brilliant!" Ron exclaimed, unable to contain his excitement any longer. "Go grab your Quidditch stuff Harry!"

"Alright, Alright..."

"I'll go help," Draco muttered, following his boyfriend upstairs.

Ron watched as Harry and Draco bounded up the stairs to gather his things.

Glancing around the cabin, Remus asked "Have you seen Sirius at all today?"

"No," Hermione replied, shaking her head. "Harry thinks he might be napping."

Remus looked somewhat concerned but nodded all the same. He excused himself from the small group and set about washing up his groceries and putting them away in the kitchen.

"Where's Neville?" Ron asked Ginny. "Didn't he want to come?"

His sister sighed in frustration. "His grandmother still won't let him come visit. I swear she thinks that I'm some kind of devil. Honestly… she keeps that boy on such a tight leash. He's practically an adult for crying out loud!"

"He's of age, so technically he is an adult," Ron replied. He secretly suspected that Neville's grandmother disliked Harry because of what had happened at the Department of Mysteries. And it was no secret that she still thought that Sirius was a criminal.

It wasn't long before Harry and Draco had returned with his trunk full of equipment. They helped him lug it outside and set the goal posts up on either end of the lake before enlarging them to their full size.

Hermione took a position to watch the game from the dock and keep score while the others mounted their brooms and took to the sky. Ron wished his girlfriend shared his love of flying and the game, but he knew that it would never be.

"Wait, we don't have nearly enough players. Your supposed to have seven players on each team," Draco pointed out, always a stickler for rules. "We have a total of six players."

"That's alright," Ginny replied. "We do this all the time at the Burrow. Some players will just have to play more than one position at a time. It's not ideal, but it works for the most part."

"Okay, who's on each team?" asked Fred, flying a wide circle around them all.

"Harry can play seeker, Ginny and I will play a combination of keeper, chaser, and beater," Ron replied, making sure that he put the best players on his own team. As much as he hated to admit it, his sister was good. Better than the twins had ever been. "You guys can do the same and you can have Draco as seeker," he added, gesturing towards Fred and George.

"What! We want Harry!" the twins said in unison.

"Too bad," said Ginny, her eyes shining with delight. "Ron already called dibs."

George snorted, clearly annoyed. "Great, we get stuck with the blond."

"Bloody hell, we'll never win!" Fred added.

"Hey! I've played seeker numerous times," said Draco indignantly.

"Yeah and we all know how that went," said George, rolling his eyes.

Ron laughed; secretly glad he had grabbed Harry while he had the chance.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco asked hotly, his face turning a lovely shade of red.

"It _means_ that you've never beaten Harry. We don't stand a chance," Fred replied, looking quite sullen about his team's prospects.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," muttered Draco.

"If it makes you feel any better, I am out of practice," Harry offered his boyfriend. "Besides, it's been a while since we competed against one another. You could still win."

Ron laughed at the thought. "Yeah, right!"

Draco turned to glare at him before looking back at Harry. "You ready, Potter?" he asked.

"I was born ready, Malfoy!" Harry retorted, his jade eyes gleaming.

"I'm not going to be easy on you, you know," said the blond, waggling his eyebrows.

Harry smiled, and said, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"You'd better watch out. I'm going to be all over your arse if you spot the snitch first…"

"Ooh, kinky!" said Fred, winking and leering at the pair.

"Keep it in the bedroom, please!" George said, laughing and thumping his twin playfully.

"Yeah, enough trash talk," added Ginny. "Can we concentrate on the game now, please?"

They all laughed good-naturedly and got into their positions.

"Are you ready Hermione?" Ginny asked, yelling to her friend down below.

"Yup," Hermione replied, as she walked over to the trunk they had placed at the end of the dock. She quickly released the snitch and the bludgers from their casings before throwing the quaffle up into the air as high as she could.

It was a great game, despite the limited number of players. Each team only managed to score a few points on one another because they sent so much time batting the bludgers away wildly while simultaneously trying to chase whoever had the luck to have the quaffle in their possession at the time. They had all but given up even defending their own goal posts. And they quickly found out that the quaffle was buoyant in water as it was dropped on numerous occasions into the lake below when a pass didn't quite make it to their fellow teammate.

The Weasley siblings spent more time laughing at one another's wild attempts to play more than one position at time than actually focusing on scoring goals. Harry and Draco, however, were much more serious. It was almost as if they were playing a game apart from the rest of them. They would slowly circle the lake several times over until one of them spotted the snitch, and then it was a race to see who would get to it first before it disappeared again. The Weasleys would often pause in their own attempts at playing the game occasionally to watch the pair dive and maneuver around one another at break neck speeds. It was amazing to watch. Even though they were both very skilled, it was easy to see that Harry was the better flyer. It was inevitable that he would eventually capture the snitch, much to Draco's dismay, effectively ending their game.

The six of them slowly made their way down to the shore where Hermione was waiting for them. They were all tired and sweating from playing in the hot summer sun.

"What's the final score?" Ron asked, rushing over to his girlfriend.

"153-3," she replied. "Not much of a high scoring game."

"You try playing with only three players per team," George retorted, wiping the sweat out of his eyes.

Hermione smiled, knowing her friend's comment was not meant in spite.

"Anyone want to play again?" Harry asked eagerly, still looking quite energetic despite how exhausted everyone else was. His summer conditioning had obviously had done him some good.

"Nah, I'm pretty tired," Ron replied. "But it was a good game."

Everyone nodded in agreement, feeling too hot to do much of anything else. After securing the equipment back into the trunk, they rested quietly on the dock, their legs dangling into the cool lake below, chatting for a short while.

Unfortunately, the twins had to soon make their goodbyes. "Sorry gang, it's been fun and all but we really need to get back to the joke shop. We have a sale going on this week that we need to prepare for," said Fred.

"I should be going as well," said Ginny, rising from the dock to join her brothers. "I've got Muggle Studies work I need to be doing. Coming Draco?"

"In a bit," Draco replied. "I want to stay a while longer."

"Suit yourself," she said, turning to walk towards the cabin, following her brothers.

"Do you think I should see them to the fireplace?" Harry asked all of a sudden, looking quite unsettled.

Ron clapped his friend on the shoulder. "Harry, chill mate. You don't have to play the part of the perfect host. They're perfectly capable of finding the fireplace and Flooing home without you."

"Are you sure?" he asked, still looking uncertain.

"It's okay, Harry, relax," said Hermione soothingly. "You're doing fine."

Harry smiled appreciatively and leaned back against one of the posts of the dock.

"Hey, do you want to take another spin around the lake before I head home?" Draco asked his boyfriend.

"Sure. Do you guys mind?" Harry asked, looking uncertain once again.

"Go. Have fun," Hermione told him. "We'll be fine by ourselves for a bit."

"Thanks," said Harry, grabbing his broom and taking to their air with Draco following close behind him.

Ron reached out and pulled Hermione to him, resting his cheek against her frizzy hair. The watched the other young couple as they slowly flew around the perimeter of the lake.

"It was a really lovely day," Hermione commented, snuggling a bit closer to Ron despite the heat.

"I know what you mean," said Ron, smiling as the sense of peace he had felt all day wormed its way back into his heart.

"Harry seems really happy, doesn't he?" she asked.

"Yeah, he does," Ron agreed. "It's hard to believe that he was a complete mess only a few weeks ago…"

Hermione was thoughtful for a few moments before she began. "He seems to have recovered from that whole ordeal rather quickly. Don't you think?"

Ron nodded against her. "I've thought about that to…but somehow I think this is different. He seems more… whole… if you know what mean…"

"Yes, I do," Hermione replied. "Do you think that it means he'll really be okay? That he won't hurt himself again?"

"Yeah, I do," Ron answered, though he still wasn't entirely sure.

"He's come a long way in the healing process, hasn't he?"

"I suppose."

"Do you still worry about him?"

"Of course. I think I always will."

"I do too," Hermione said softly. "I hate that he feels like he has to hide his scars from us though."

"I kind of understand that part actually…" Ron said, thinking about his own scars.

"You do?" Hermione asked. She craned her neck to look at him properly, her soft brown eyes searching his pale blue ones.

"I know it's not the same, but I still get embarrassed by the scars on my arms from those blasted brains… I've thought about using glamour charms too…" he revealed.

"Oh Ron… I didn't know you felt like that. I'm so sorry…" she said, taking one of his hands in her own and peering down at his arms thoughtfully.

"It's not a big deal, really. The scars bother me sometimes, but they've already begun to fade a bit."

"Well, I love you just the way you are," Hermione said, kissing him on the lips.

Ron smiled in appreciation. "Even if I can't tan like Harry?"

"Even then."

They sat quietly for a few moments enjoying the peace and solitude the lake and woods provided.

"You really think Harry's going to be okay?" Hermione asked, once more.

Ron nodded as he pulled Hermione back into his embrace. "I know so…he has Sirius and Remus now."

"And Draco," she reminded him.

"Yes and Draco… and us. We'll never let him hurt that way again," Ron stated firmly.

Hermione nodded, knowing that they would both do everything in their power to make that statement true.

* * *

"Thanks for coming with me to strengthen the wards," said Remus, traipsing through the woods, far off the beaten path. "I usually try to check on them once a week and it normally takes me quite a while. With your help we should finish them in no time."

"Not a problem," said Sirius, waving Remus off. "It's not like I have anything else to do anyway."

He let out a colossal yawn and tried to rub the burning sensation out of his eyes with the side of his hand. Sirius still felt immensely tired after his long nap today. For some reason he felt like he just couldn't get caught up on his sleep.

Remus eyed him warily. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?" he asked once again.

"I'm fine," Sirius said firmly, gritting his teeth. That was the third time today his friend has asked that very same question. He hated it when Remus treated him like a child.

Remus sighed and raised his wand to test the strength of the ward they were surveying. His wand tip grew bright blue while he uttered an ancient incantation. He then paused for a moment to ensure that their security system was working properly. Satisfied that the ward was going to hold he moved onto the next section of the perimeter.

The pair walked on, intent on performing the same spell a 100 feet west of their current location. As they walked, Sirius waited patiently for Remus to spout his concerns for him once again. He swore he could almost time how long it took for his friend to start up this same conversation. He didn't have to wait long.

"Well, it's just not normal for someone to sleep the day away… I'm worried about you getting depressed," Remus said finally.

"I'm not depressed. I can't sleep at night, and you know why. I sleep better during the day, plain and simple. Now leave me alone," Sirius growled, following his friend a few steps behind now, hoping to avoid this conversation entirely.

He was sick of this song and dance already. It was one thing to have Remus as a friend, it was quite another that he was always playing the part of his therapist. He appreciated the help his long time friend had given him, but he didn't like that every move he made or didn't make seemed to be analyzed ten times over. He was starting to feel like he was still in the mental ward at St. Mungo's

They had discussed his gaps in time and the nightmares he'd been having several times over already. They both knew that his nightmares were memories, segments of his life that he had relived while in limbo. He was sick of discussing it and as far as he was concerned it wasn't worth discussing anymore. His subconscious was obviously dealing with everything that had happened to him in its own way and he was powerless to stop it. He was in limbo for over a year, and he had only been resurrected a couple of months ago. His "problems" were obviously going to take some time for swiss cheese brain to sort out. For whatever reason, the nightmares stayed at bay during the daylight hours. They only seemed to plague him at night, though he wasn't sure why.

Not only was he dealing with his own personal issues, but he was still coming to terms with what had happened to his godson as well. He felt an enormous amount of guilt for having ever left Harry as a baby. He could have chosen to raise him as James and Lily had wanted, but he had chosen revenge instead. He would never forgive himself for leaving him behind to suffer his cruel fate at the hands of the Dursleys. Never.

He was broken out of his reverie again by the sound of Remus's voice.

"Well, I've been thinking about you becoming more active in the Order again or finding a job or something," Remus said finally.

"Why?"

"Because I'm tired of you loafing around the cabin all day," he said.

Sirius scoffed at the comment. "You're one to talk. You don't have a job and you aren't as active in the Order as you used to be."

"I do to have a job. I'm teaching again, remember? And my position in the Order has changed recently."

"How so?"

"Well, I've devoted myself to looking after Harry's well being… and looking out for you as well."

"Harry, I understand, but I wish you'd leave me alone already. I get that you worry, but I'm fine now."

"I know."

They stopped momentarily again, this time Sirius performed the spell, intertwining their magic to enhance the safety of their home and the surrounding perimeter. After completing his task Sirius sighed, thinking over what Remus had said. He did have a point. Sirius was sick of not having anything to do to fill his days. It felt a little too much like when he had been confined to his mother's house. Oh how he had hated that useless feeling. It's what got him in trouble in the first place.

"I do want to do more for the Order, but a job? I don't know," Sirius admitted.

"Why not?" asked Remus.

"Well, for starters I haven't worked in… oh, sixteen years! I don't even know what I would do anymore," he revealed.

"You used to be an Unspeakable. Maybe you could pursue that again," Remus suggested. "They'll need good men like you with the war going on."

Sirius snorted in amusement. "Yeah, right! I can only dream of having my old job back."

"Why do you say that?"

"Gee, let's see… I was a prisoner in Azkaban for the better part of thirteen years and then I was a fugitive. Somehow I don't think I would receive a warm welcome back into the wizarding community."

"You were acquitted. Everyone knows that now. It was all over the Daily Prophet," Remus pointed out.

"Somehow that doesn't matter."

"What do you mean?"

"Remus, I was all but arrested in Diagon Alley last month. You should have seen the way people looked at me. It was horrible!" said Sirius, shaking his head at the memory. "Innocent or not, people believe what they want to believe."

"What!?" Remus shouted, whipping around to look at Sirius properly. "What are you talking about? You didn't tell me about this!"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you about that with everything else… you know…" Sirius began, feeling sheepish. "Things didn't go well in Diagon Alley when I took Harry shopping. It's one of the reasons we went left and went to Muggle London. I regret that decision now…"

"I wish you would have told me before," Remus said softly.

"Sorry. It wasn't really important."

Remus nodded, knowing all to well what he meant. "But still, there's bound to be something you can do-"

Sirius stopped Remus with a wave of his hand when he spotted something in the distance. It was Harry and his friends. They must have been making their way through the woods and towards the Apparition point.

"Why didn't they just Floo?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know, maybe they felt like going for a walk."

"That doesn't really look like walking."

Ron was carrying Hermione on his back, and Harry was on Draco's. The two couples were having some sort of odd race, though neither pair was moving very fast. Apparently they were having a good time, because they were laughing and shouting as if they didn't have a care in the world. They watched them for a few moments behind the cover of trees.

"They must have finished their game," Remus whispered.

"I would have liked to have stayed and watched," Sirius said once again.

"Yeah well we had more important things to do."

When it looked like he might be overtaken, Ron reached out and pushed Harry and Draco aside, hoping to gain a lead. They recovered quickly and chased after their friends. It was clear that Draco and Ron's legs were about to give out under the burdens on their backs as they began to move slower and slower, their knees getting closer to the ground, laughing all the while. When they could stand it no longer, they unceremoniously dumped Hermione and Harry off their backs and onto the forest floor. The four friends then took a moment to catch their breath, unaware that they were being watched.

"I love seeing Harry so carefree like this," said Remus, watching the young man with his friends.

"I know what you mean," Sirius replied, glad to see that his godson had some happy moments amongst all the darkness.

"Seeing him like this, it's easy to forget everything that has happened to him in his life."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "They look so peaceful... Too peaceful…"

Remus smirked at him, already knowing where Sirius was going with this.

"What do you think? Should we ambush them?" Sirius asked.

"They could use some practice… and they've come along nicely in their training…" Remus commented.

Grinning at one another conspiratorially the friends gave each other an impromptu high give.

"I'll go left. You go right," said Sirius suddenly feeling alert.

Remus nodded. From the look on his face Sirius knew he was already plotting his move.

"Wait until I give you the signal," he said, moving around back behind the group, staying as hidden as possible.

When both of them were in position and it was clear that none of the friends knew was what about to hit them, they struck. Sirius gave a sharp quick bark, though it sounded oddly garbled using his human voice, as the signal. Remus quickly took Ron down with a stunner, hard and fast.

Shocked to see their friend lying unconscious beside them, Harry and Draco whipped out their wands and moved to put Hermione between them, who was also on guard. Their eyes were bright with fear, but they were clearly ready to fight as well. Sirius felt almost bad for scaring the kids, but he knew that they would appreciate this training exercise later.

Knowing that he was well hidden, Sirius cast the incarcerous spell at Draco, sending ropes winding their way around his body. With a quick flip of his wrist he had the boy suspended upside down, hanging from a nearby tree limb.

Harry shouted "Stupefy!" sending a bright bold of red light in his direction, but missed Sirius completely.

"Watch out!" Draco shouted from his suspended position, his face growing red as all the blood began to pool in his head. Remus had shot a rather odd choice of spells at Hermione, but she wasn't quick enough to dodge it. Amazingly, he had turned her brown hair a nasty shade of green. She screamed in fright when she saw what had happened.

Harry dared to look behind him to see what had become of his friend. A smile spread across his face when he saw her hair, seemingly understanding that they weren't under attack by Death Eaters.

"Accio Sirius!" he shouted, pointing his wand in his general direction.

Sirius didn't really expect his spell to work, but Harry's wand work was amazingly strong. He soon felt his body plummeting through the air before landing at their feet. Apparently Hermione had done the same to Remus because his friend's body had suddenly landed on top of him.

"Oof!" said Sirius, his back aching from the sudden impact.

Before they could jump to their feet, Harry and Hermione had effectively immobilized them.

"Well done!" said Remus excitedly, from his awkward position on the ground. "Not really sure you want to summon a Death Eater, but it worked all the same."

"Speak for yourself. My back is killing me!" Sirius complained.

"Can someone get me down from here!" Draco shouted. "I'm getting a headache."

Once all the spells had been lifted and everyone was checked over for injuries, they had a quick debriefing about what they could have done better. More training was definitely need, but overall Sirius and Remus were pleased with the results of their mock battle. It appeared that all their hard work this summer had finally begun to pay off. Hopefully it would serve them well if they ever encountered any real danger, which was only inevitable where Harry was concerned.

* * *

A/N: Can you believe it? A whole chapter of fluff, without any angst in sight. It was important to give the friends some normalcy after everything they've gone through. I can't wait for you all to read what happens next, the end is finally near. Only five chapters left!

A/N2: I'm a little worried about what my readers think of how this story has progressed so far. I know I lost a lot of reviewers after my year long hiatus and I'm not complaining about the few reviews I have kindly received, but I'm concerned that my writing isn't up to par or that the story is no longer holding anyone's interest. Any feedback would be more than welcome.


	24. More than Coincidence

A/N: Again, sorry about the infrequent updates. I'm trying to do my best. I hope you enjoy the next few chapters. A lot is going to happen very quickly. Let me know what you think.

* * *

**Chapter 24- More Than Coincidence **

Draco watched with mild interest as Ron grabbed the remote control beside him and surfed through the channels on the television set looking for something else to watch. The redhead, oblivious to the glares his girlfriend and sister were giving him, had finally settled on a channel featuring a lengthy commercial for some type of Muggle kitchen tool made in the United States.

"_It slices, it dices, it makes __julienne fries__…"_ the advertisement began, leaving Draco to wonder what exactly "fries" were.

"Ron, turn the channel back now!" Hermione complained, trying in vain to reach for the remote.

"Aw, come on, Hermione… this stuff is getting boring already," Ron began to whine.

Draco couldn't have agreed more. He was eager to watch something else as well.

"Ron, you know why we're doing this," Ginny tried to reason. "Turn it back now or I'm telling mum."

"Fine!" he complied, turning the television back to the channel they were on before. "But we bloody well better find something important happening today instead of the same old dribble they've been recycling the last few days or I swear I'm going to lose it…"

They fell into silence once more as they turned their attention back to television.

"_In other news today, U.S. President Bill Clinton met with our Prime Minister Tony Blair to discuss…"_

Draco sighed irritably as he watched the female news anchor on the television set before him, feeling quite bored and restless. He was sick of watching this blasted news channel and wished that Ron had succeeded in convincing the girls to watch something else again for a change.

Draco, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione had been watching the set almost non-stop since it was brought to Number 12 Grimmauld Place a couple of days ago. They did have an important reason to be glued to the television, but they all knew that the real reason they had been so keen on watching it day and night was because of a lack of anything else better to do. They were occasionally joined by various Order members, Mr. Weasley in particular, but with everyone being so busy they were often left with the set on their own.

Hermione was accustomed to watching Muggle TV shows, of course, but it seemed that the long months at Hogwarts without this form of entertainment had left her longing for it. She explained that she had spent most of the summer on vacation with her parents before coming to headquarters, so she didn't get a chance to watch it as much as she would have liked.

Ron and Ginny, whose only experience with a television set was when they had all watched the movie _Liar, Liar_ in the dorm last spring, were equally mesmerized by the moving pictures. Each was determined to figure out what sort of magic the Muggles had used to enchant the pictures to move. No matter how many times Harry or Hermione had tried to explain it to them before, they never could quite grasp the idea. Draco really couldn't either for that matter, and it was perplexing to say the least.

He had watched television a few times with Harry over at the cabin, and in fact this was the very same set. Remus had brought it over for them when they learned from Tonks that there was some suspicious activity happening in and around the Muggle world that was being broadcasted on various news shows on television. Earlier this year, there were some Death Eater attacks in the United States, which were mistaken for terrorist activity. There were also some mysterious attacks in other parts of the world that the Muggles seemed to have no logical explanation for. The elusive mysteries had since become national coverage.

The Ministry had been inefficient at best at determining if there were any correlation between Voldemort's movements and the baffling attacks in the Muggle world. And many began to speculate that there was no longer any type of communication going on between Minister of Magic and the Prime Minister of Britain. Some felt that they would have had more answers by now if there was still an open line of communication between the two leaders. The Order had longed suspected that Cornelius Fudge had been corrupted by the Dark Lord somehow, but they still lacked the evidence they needed to overthrow him.

A few of the Order members had tried studying this new information regarding Muggle related activity, but could find no logical pattern yet between the attacks and known locations of Death Eater activity. Like the Ministry, the Order had a hard enough time keep track of everything happening in their world, let alone keeping an eye on the much larger Muggle world around them.

Always eager to help, Hermione had suggested that the four of them could do some research for the Order and surprisingly the adults had agreed. Their plan was to watch Muggle news coverage, hoping to find pieces of information that could help fill in the gaping holes in their understanding of Voldemort's movements. If they could determine a pattern, they could possibly save lives and finally put an end to the terror they all felt.

After the four of them had gotten over their initial excitement of watching various Muggle TV shows, they got down to business. Each of them had sat dutifully in front of the set with a pad of paper and a pen. It had been Hermione's suggestion to use the Muggle pen and paper instead of a quill and parchment, explaining that it was less messy and easier to write on without having to have a table near. Draco had surprisingly found the Muggle method much more efficient and began wonder what other Muggle inventions were superior over their wizard counterpart.

After "_flipping_" through the "_channels_" with a "_remote control_"- Merlin, there was a lot of Muggle vocabulary to remember- they finally found a cable news channel that seemed to suit their needs. Tonks, who apparently was familiar with Muggle cable TV, was able to illegally tap into the neighbors cable feed next door and connected it to the set Remus had brought them. They became keenly interested in SkyNews, which offered live coverage of what was going on in Muggle world 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Draco found the Muggle world fascinating and he learned a lot in a short amount of time. Thankfully, Hermione didn't mind answering their many questions about the world she had grown up in. Watching the news had been quite addicting at first- there seemed no end to the steady flow of crimes, trials, transportation problems, foreign policy, and news about the various wars happening around the world. There was also a fare share celebrity gossip, as well.

It was hard at first determine what was "normal" news coverage and what could be related to Voldemort and his movements. But after watching for only few hours it was easy to see determine the difference. The news reporters would use such phrases as "_in an unexplainable event today…"_ or "_in what could only be descried as supernatural phenomena…" _or "_this mysterious set of circumstances have led us to believe that…"_ The foursome had since compiled a list of possible Death Eater related activity and the list was continuing to grow. Once they felt they had a reliable list of information they planned to present it all to the Order in hopes that they could find some connections by cross-referencing it with the information Percy had been able to obtain at the Ministry.

At first Draco had been eager to help his friends and the Order in this endeavor, but he soon realized that watching the news coverage was rather depressing. Much like their news source, _The_ _Daily Prophet_, rarely did Muggle's cover anything in a positive light; everything had a negative spin to it. And there was so much death and destruction! Draco had no idea of what life was like beyond his small realm of understanding. Watching TV had opened his mind to what the rest of the world was really like.

But he could only take so much. After watching several hours of news coverage, Draco was spent. He simply couldn't take it anymore.

"I can't watch anymore of this shite!" he said suddenly, startling the others as he jumped up. "I need a break."

"But…" Hermione began, looking perplexed. "We need your help. We've got to-"

Draco cut her off, not really wanting to hear the rest of what she had to say. "You can do it without me for now. I need to write back to Blaise, anyway."

Ron stood up as well and began stretching, yawning dramatically. "Draco's right. You girls got everything under control. I'm just going to-"

"-stay right here," Hermione finished for him, as she yanked Ron by the arm back down onto the couch beside her.

"Hey! Watch the arm!" Ron complained, rubbing his offended limb grumpily. "She's rough, that one."

"Sorry, but this is important."

Ginny nodded. "Hermione's right. I think we're getting close to something."

"Fine, but I'm warning you now… I could fall asleep at any moment," said Ron, yawning loudly.

"Not if I'm poking you…" Ginny replied, smiling sweetly at her brother as she began to poke him in the ribs.

"Hey! Stop it!" he shouted, slapping her hand away.

Hermione, who had been staring at the TV once more, flapped her hand at them to silence them. "Shh… I think this might be something new…"

Draco rolled his eyes at his friends and crossed his arms over his chest. His patience had been rather thin as of late, and they were treading on his last nerve. "Ron, can I borrow Pig?" he asked, lowering his voice so that he didn't distract Hermione from whatever caught her attention.

Ron smirked up at him and said, "Sure. Good luck!"

Draco looked at him uncertainly, before nodding his thanks. He finally excused himself from the others and headed upstairs. His Slytherin friend had written to him earlier this morning and he hadn't gotten an opportunity yet to reply.

Once he reached the second floor, however, he realized that he hadn't seen his mother all day. So he tiptoed his way over to her room to see what she was up to. Although their relationship was still on thin ice, he was curious how she spent her time while she was imprisoned here at the Order's headquarters. He suspected that she read most of the time, though she didn't visit the small library in the drawing room very often. For that matter, Draco rarely saw her leave her room. She preferred to take her meals in there instead of eating with the others. The few times they had tried to communicate with one another it had always ended up in argument of some sort; most of the time they avoided one another.

Peering around the doorway, Draco saw his mother staring out the window, a distant look on her face. He had tried on more than one occasion to reconnect with her, but he found that he didn't know how to act around her anymore. She seemed to be in a deep depression and could no longer to relate him as well.

She stared blankly out that window, not really seeing what was before her, lost in her reverie. Draco could only imagine what was on her mind, because she still refused to open up to him. She still hadn't shared what had happened to her during her capture, and he could only assume the worst. If he had stopped for a moment and tried to forget that she was his mother, he might have admitted to himself that she was a remarkable survivor, strong and unwavering. But there was too much animosity built up between them for Draco to see who she really was underneath her cold exterior. All he could see was a woman who had made a lot of poor choices in her life and couldn't even own up to her mistakes.

He watched as Narcissa unconsciously rubbed at the magical tether on her wrist, and it was then that Draco noticed that the metal bracelet had begun to chafe the skin underneath. The normally porcelain white skin had become raw and angry looking. How did he not see it before? Why hadn't she said anything?

Part of him wanted to go to his mother and heal her arm for her, but another part of him wanted to avoid a confrontation with her altogether. And the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to see her suffer this small irritation- as payback for never once standing up for him when Lucius was disciplining him. He knew that it was wrong and he felt insides turn cold at his own indifference, but once he made a decision he never faltered from it.

Confident that she hadn't seen him lingering in the doorway, he turned away from his mother and headed toward his room. He was surprised to see when he entered the room that Ron's owl, Pig, was already on his perch. The owl was notoriously difficult to track down and was rarely used for mail as a result. It seemed to sense that he was going to be delivering a letter this afternoon and began to move back and forth on his perch excitedly.

Shaking his head at the little bird's antics, Draco quickly retrieved the letter he had received this morning and read it over once more. He then grabbed a quill and a piece of parchment and composed his reply.

_Blaise-_

_It's good to hear from you mate. I know things haven't been easy for you this summer, and I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you. From your previous letter it sounded as though there were some things you needed to say that couldn't be said through owl mail. I hope everything is okay now. I've been asking if you could come over for part of the summer, but they haven't said anything about my request. It shouldn't be a problem since you were here once before for the surprise party. Just hang tight for now. And if we can't get together like we normally do each summer then we'll be returning to Hogwarts in just a couple of weeks and we can catch up then._

_-Draco_

Draco sealed the letter he had written in an envelope. He then attempted to tie it to the leg of the little grey owl bouncing up and down before him. Draco hadn't understood the amused expression Ron had given him when he has asked permission to use his owl, but now it was starting to make sense.

"Would you settle down already! You would think that I had asked you to deliver a letter to the Minister of Magic himself the way you are acting!" Draco shouted, fruitlessly trying to capture the blur of grey that was flying about him in an excited state. He now knew why Ron had rarely used his pet owl to write to Hermione before she had come to stay with them.

Pig hooted at him affectionately and eventually came to rest on the end of his bed. Draco reached out to the tiresome owl and attempted to attach the letter to his leg, but that only caused it to get excited once more and it began bouncing up and down eagerly. For a task that was normally fairly easy, he found that it took nearly ten minutes before he could calm the owl down enough to tie the letter on properly. It was a spirited little thing and it was a wonder the tiny owl managed to deliver anything at all.

After finally sending Pig on its way, Draco headed back downstairs to see if the others had found any new information, knowing that Hermione would be irritated if he stayed away much longer.

When he reached the stairs, however, he noticed that his mother was now at the bottom, speaking in a hushed whisper to the wall. Puzzled by his mother's peculiar display, Draco descended the steps to investigate. It was soon apparent that she wasn't speaking to the wall at all, but to the painting of Mrs. Black. Normally covered with a heavy black curtain because of its hideous nature, the portrait of the old woman looked upon her relative with a look that could only be described as adoration.

"_But do you think it's possible?"_ Narcissa whispered, clearly excited about something.

"Perhaps, but now is not the time… your traitorous son is listening to us my dear niece…" said Mrs. Black, her voice laced with malice.

Narcissa whipped her head around and discovered her son peering at her curiously from half way down the stairs. Looking startled and somewhat guilty, she reached out and quickly shut the black curtains over the painting once more, muffling her aunt's plea to "_kill the traitor and be done with it!"_

"Mother, what are you doing?" Draco asked, as he descended the rest of the steps. "I thought you were in your room."

Mother stood up a little straighter and smoothed her robes, trying to look more composed. "I was doing some thinking and needed my aunt's counsel on an important matter," she replied simply.

"Counsel on what?" Something about the entire scenario didn't feel right and it was only natural that he would be suspicious about her intentions.

"It doesn't concern you," Narcissa replied.

Now he really was suspicious and growing angrier by the second. It felt as though his blood was beginning to boil, and he knew he might lose it if they continued to any longer. Thankfully, he knew they wouldn't be heard over the din of the television set in the living room

"Mother, what are you up to?"

She took a small step back, looking hurt. "Nothing, my dragon. Why do you think so ill of me?"

"Because I know you!" he shouted exasperatedly. "Now answer me. What are you up to?"

"As I said before, nothing that concerns you," she said looking away. Rubbing her wrist subconsciously she whispered, "Perhaps in time you'll thank me."

"For what?"

Narcissa smiled and refused to reply. She brushed past him and began to climb the stairs so that she could return to her room.

"Mother! Don't walk away from me! I want to know what's going on!" he shouted. Ignoring his call, she continued up the staircase before disappearing from sight.

He wanted nothing more than to put his fist through a wall he was so angry with her. He just knew she was up to something, but what? She was a prisoner here, for lack of a better word, unable to leave the house. She had no wand, and no way of contacting anyone. It was impossible for her to escape. So what else could she be up to? He was just so confused!

Draco desperately wished for some peace and quiet, a chance to be alone with his thoughts so that he could sort everything out. He knew he couldn't face the others right now. But with rain pouring outside for the third time this week, he was confined to the indoors.

Draco missed his long walks that he used to take last summer when he was staying at the Burrow. At the time he had been trying to learn how to live without his family and adjusting to life with the Weasleys. The walks in the woods that surrounded the house offered him the perfect escape from reality, a moment to understand what his life had become in such a short time.

He didn't have the luxury of such walks now. He supposed that he could take a walk around the Muggle London neighborhood in which the Order's Headquarters resided, but it wouldn't be the same as the seclusion and peace he had felt in the woods he loved so much.

Because of this, he was struggling with how to cope with his mother's return in the midst of a house full of people. He felt irritated all the time and he couldn't begin to understand why. The only place he could ever go to be alone was the swing in the back garden that had become his "thinking spot" so to speak. But that was out of the question right now unless he wanted to be soaked to the bone from the rain.

He supposed he could return to his room, but he didn't even want to be on the same floor as his mother right now. He was liable to do something rash with the way he was feeling just now. Intent on being as far away from his mother as possible in this house, Draco headed down the next set of stairs.

"She's impossible!" Draco shouted, as he threw open the door and stormed into the kitchen.

"Who dear?" asked Molly, whirling around to see him properly as she finished drying some plates. Seeing the shocked look on his face she smirked and banished the plates back into the cupboards.

Draco stopped dead in his tracks. He hadn't realized that there was anyone down here and he was feeling quite foolish for how he had acted. "Er.. uh… it's nothing…" he said quickly, his face turning slightly red.

Molly gave him a placating look before gently taking him by the elbow and sitting him down at the kitchen table. She wouldn't let him leave now even if he wanted to. "Who dear?" she asked again, although he was fairly certain she knew who he had meant.

Draco frowned and said, "Who do you think?"

Molly sighed and tossed the kitchen towel over her shoulder. "What happened?"

Draco shoved his hands in his pockets, still feeling embarrassed by his rude entrance. "Nothing really… caught her talking to that blasted painting of Great Aunt Walpurga in the foyer… they looked real chummy," Draco replied crossly.

Molly's brow creased, looking concerned. Taking him by the arm, she led him over to the table to sit down. "Did you hear what they said?"

"Not really, but I'm sure she's up to something."

"Why do you say that?"

"I just know my mother, that's all… she won't stand being cooped up here much longer," he replied.

Molly nodded. "It's understandable I suppose, but there's not much she can do about it until other arrangements are made."

"So she really can't escape or anything?"

"I honestly don't see how…"

Draco was filled with a small sense of relief. "That's what I thought, but when I asked her what she had talked to her aunt about, she simply walked away… completely ignoring me like she always does!"

"I see… still not getting along, then?"

"No," Draco replied petulantly, crossing his arms over his chest. "She has a nasty remark at the ready for everything I say. Nothing I do or say will ever please her, I swear."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes! She won't even look at me the same anymore! I know I've changed, but have I changed that much that she doesn't even recognize or acknowledge me as her own son?" he asked desperately, an awful lump growing in this throat. He quickly rubbed his eyes to remove the prickly feeling that had started there, remembering his promise to himself not to shed another tear over his mother. "She looks at me as though I'm a stranger."

Molly looked at him uncertainly for a few moments. "I'm not sure what to say," she said, being honest. "I can't imagine ever feeling that way about one of my children, or someone that I think of as one of my own."

Draco looked away, knowing what she meant. How could this woman be so loving as to consider him family when his own mother couldn't even stand the sight of him anymore? Molly had been more of a mother to him than Narcissa had ever been. "You don't have to say anything. You've already done so much for me…"

"I'm sorry this is so hard for you," Molly said finally, looking quite apologetic. "I've been doing some thinking…it couldn't have been easy for her this past year. Maybe Narcissa's just still adjusting to being here and its easier to take her frustrations out on someone she loves-"

Draco cut her off. "Love? Yeah, right," he said, snorting in disbelief.

"She does love you, Draco. That much I know to be true…" she said firmly. "But it must still be difficult for her to be here."

"You have no idea! She _hates_ being here, and I imagine that she wants to get away from here eventually… but can't she just make the most of it! I just don't understand her! I mean… being a prisoner here is still got to be better than how she was surviving before. And yet something inside me tells me that she would do anything to get away."

"If she did…and I'm not saying that it's even possible…but if she did, or if we made other arrangements for her… would she want you to go with her?"

Draco looked up at her in surprise. It was the one thing that had been on his mind since his mother had arrived.

"Would _you_ want to go with her?" she asked, rephrasing her question.

Draco was silent for a few moments. "I don't know…" he replied, hating himself for even admitting it. As much as he loved the Weasleys, what kind of son would he be if he just abandoned his own mother in her time of need? Truthfully he never wanted to leave his surrogate family, but he had a nagging sense of familial obligation that just wouldn't leave him alone, no matter how nasty his biological mother was to him. But something else was bothering him as well. If he left the Weasleys, did that mean he would be leaving Harry behind too?

"Well, if and when the time comes, I'm sure you will make the choice that is best for you…" she said, patting his hand softly.

Draco nodded, still not quite sure what his choice would be.

"How about some tea?" Molly suddenly asked, changing the conversation.

"Tea, would be great," he replied, grateful that he wouldn't have to explain himself any further.

He watched quietly as Molly conjured them both cups of tea. It was the special blend that she had created that Draco had come to savor. They sipped their late afternoon tea in companionable silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

Mr. Weasley- Draco still couldn't bring himself to call the man Arthur- soon arrived home from work and joined them for a cup, relaying to them about the tense atmosphere that was beginning to build at the Ministry. Everyone was apparently on edge.

Only a few moments later the fire in the fireplace blazed bright green again, signaling that someone was Flooing through. Draco thought nothing of it at first and continued to sip his tea, thinking it was a member of the Weasley family or perhaps one of the professors from Hogwarts.

"Oh my…" Molly said breathlessly, as her tea cup clattered down onto her saucer and she stood up quickly.

Mr. Weasley jumped to his feet as well, looking quite uneasy as he came around the other side of the table.

Feeling slightly alarmed, Draco turned to see who had arrived. He had expected to see an injured Order member or something, but instead saw his boyfriend stumbling through, clutching his head tightly.

"Harry! What's wrong?" asked Draco, jumping to his feet and rushing over to his love to see what was the matter.

"Vision," Harry spit out through clenched teeth. He then squeezed his eyes shut as if he were trying to block out the pain.

"Oh no!" said Molly, looking positively terrified. Harry's visions were never good news. In fact, despair and destruction usually followed in the wake of the images Harry received from the Dark Lord.

"Are you Occluding?" Draco asked quickly, knowing how important it was that Harry blocked whatever was trying to get through. The chance that Voldemort could try to possess him if Harry didn't fight the link was just too great.

"Yes!" Harry shouted, a little more viciously than what was probably intended. Harry's scar had begun to hurt him more and more frequently. He had been able to successfully Occlude each time it had happened over the last few weeks, but apparently this mental assault was too much for him to handle.

They were still looking into a way to sever Harry's connection to Voldemort completely. It had been broken once before, after his time Limbo, but saving Sirius had opened the pathway between their minds once more. As wonderful of an idea as it was to sever the connection, everyone was at a loss as to how it could be done, and they certainly didn't want to subject Harry to the torture of Limbo once more.

His eyes were still tightly clenched and he was biting his lip, in order to keep from crying out from the pain. Draco could see through Harry's fingers that his scar was bright red and it looked as though it may be pulsing. Harry also seemed rather weak in the knees and looked as though he would pass out on his feet at any moment.

"W-what should we do?" Molly asked.

"I probably should contact the rest of the Order-" Mr. Weasley began, still looking very pale.

"Wait," Harry said tersely, his eyes still tightly closed. "They're coming."

Draco guided Harry over to one of the kitchen chairs hurriedly. Not knowing what else to do, he kneeled down beside Harry and took one of his hands in his own. Harry squeezed it firmly as he placed his other arm on the table in front of him and rested his forehead on top of it, sitting stiffly. He breathed in and out slowly and Draco could tell that he was trying to stay centered so that he could fight the images from bombarding his mind.

"I'll get him some tea and something to eat for when all of this is over," said Molly, clearly lost as to how she could help the young man. "He looks rather peckish."

Draco smirked, knowing that food was how Molly treated almost any tense situation. She seemed to believe that if they were well fed that all was right in her world. There was nothing either one of them could do for Harry right now anyway. Draco simply waited by Harry's side, holding onto his hand anxiously and willing the intense pain his boyfriend was obviously feeling to finally pass.

Mr. Weasley began pacing aback and forth across the kitchen, wringing his hands nervously for lack of anything better to do. All they could do right now was wait the vision out with Harry and hope it passed.

Moments later Remus and Sirius both came through the fireplace. Draco looked up at them anxiously hoping that one of them would be able to enlighten him as to what was going since his boyfriend was almost completely incapacitated.

Sirius took one look at Mr. Weasley and Molly, who were clearly fretting, and went to explain the situation to them while Remus joined Draco and Harry at the table.

"We've already contacted Dumbledore. He should be here soon," said Remus, sitting down beside Harry and looking over the teen carefully. "How are you doing?"

Harry was unable to reply, so he shook his head to indicate that he wasn't doing well. Apparently the slight movement was too much for him, because he suddenly moaned in pain. Draco made little shushing sounds in Harry's ear and stroked his hair in an effort to comfort him. He found his hair to be matted with sweat. Feeling his Harry's forehead and neck, Draco found him to be burning up. He imagined that the fever was because Harry was trying to fight the mental barrage he was currently suffering.

Remus looked over at Draco, and nodded his thanks for taking care of Harry for him. "It's taking longer than normal for the vision to pass. He's already been fighting it for half an hour. We thought it would be safer for him here," Remus quietly revealed, looking quite frightened himself.

Thirty minutes already? Harry had been in agony that long! Normally his visions passed within a few minutes. Draco felt his stomach clench in sympathy when he heard Harry's breath hitch in pain and let another soft whimper

"Try to relax," Draco whispered softly, using his other hand to rub his neck and shoulders. Harry nodded almost imperceptibly, and took another shaky breath and blew it out slowly, fighting the pain. He did this repeatedly and eventually his body began to lose its rigid posture.

Still holding his hand, Draco got up from his position on the floor and took the chair beside Harry. Molly set Harry's small meal on the table and sat across from them next to her husband and Sirius. They each watched the young man anxiously, feeling quite helpless. After another few minutes Harry carefully sat up, still cradling his head in his hands.

"Feeling better kiddo?" asked Sirius, his grey eyes bright with worry.

"Yeah, I think so," Harry replied, his voice sounding hoarse. "That one was really bad."

Draco gave Harry's hand another squeeze to let him know that he was still there. "I know you were Occluding, but were you able to see anything?" he asked.

Before Harry could answer, Dumbledore came through the fireplace, followed by Professor McGonagall and Severus. They quickly gathered around the others to assess the situation.

"How are you, my boy?" asked Dumbledore, patting Harry on the shoulder before taking one of the many seats at the large wooden table.

"Better," he replied, rubbing at his scar now, which still looked raw and painful. He then looked over at his boyfriend and smiled appreciatively. "Thanks Dray."

Draco nodded in understanding. "So did you see the Dark Lord?"

"Say Voldemort. Not Dark Lord! I've told you this before," Harry said angrily, his green eyes still dull with fever.

"Harry's right. The fear of a name increases the fear itself," Dumbledore added, clearly proud of his young protégé.

"He isn't _Lord_ over anyone but his followers," Harry continued. "It's a self appointed position. It's bad enough he's called Voldemort instead of Tom Riddle. Don't give him more power than he already has!"

Draco was taken aback slightly, having forgotten how much Harry hated that term. "Fine, sorry. I'll say Voldemort instead. Geesh… it's just a habit, you know."

"Well, break it," Harry said firmly. "And no, to finally answer your question. I never see Voldemort… I see things through his eyes…"

"We know you were Occluding, Harry, but were you able to see anything?" asked Remus.

Before he could reply, however, he was interrupted once more. The kitchen door swung open suddenly and Ron, Ginny, and Hermione tumbled inside.

"Professor Dumbledore? You're here! We were just about to floo you. We think we've found something-" Hermione began breathlessly, until she realized she had clearly interrupted something.

The three friends looked at one another, clearly quite alarmed. Not only by what the situation they had come upon, but also with whatever they had come to tell the professor.

"What's going on?" Ginny asked, looking to her parents for guidance.

Mr. Weasley looked up at his daughter and simply said, "Harry's had a vision."

Draco saw Ron, Ginny, and Hermione look at one another and share some kind of silent understanding.

"You okay, mate?" asked Ron, eyeing Harry carefully. For someone that had developed quite a tan over this summer, he did look rather pale right now.

"I've been better…I've got a nasty headache…" Harry replied, rubbing at his scar again.

"Well as if it's any wonder… you fought that snake-faced bastard for half an hour!" Sirius retorted, something akin to pride in his eyes.

"Half an hour!" Hermione said exasperatedly. "Oh Harry…" She came around the table and gave her friend a hug in sympathy and then stroked his hair fondly.

"I suspected you may have a headache and brought something to relieve it," said Severus, speaking up for the first time since he had arrived. "It'll help relieve any other ailments you may be feeling as well."

Harry took it gratefully and downed the purplish potion in one gulp. It was a true sign as to how far the two of them had come in their sessions that Harry didn't think twice about taking a potion from his once hated professor. A look of relief crossed his face a few seconds later and some of the color returned to his face.

"If there aren't any more interruptions, I need to explain what I saw before I forget it completely…" he began.

"Go ahead, Harry," said Sirius.

They all turned to the young man and gave him their full attention. Draco wanted to reach out and hold Harry's hand once more, but in a room full of people he thought better of it. Although everyone here knew of their relationship they were still shy about overt affection towards one another.

Harry sighed deeply before beginning once more. "I was Occluding, mind you, so I didn't see much… but they were planning on attacking several villages a once… I don't know which ones, but they're in Britain… many were killed…"

They all looked at one another clearly alarmed. This couldn't be good. Not by any means.

"Anything else, Harry?" Sirius asked.

He screwed up his eyes and tilted his head to the side, trying to concentrate. "No… that's it… sorry. I know it's not much to go on."

"You're sure?" Professor McGonagall asked, her face ashen with worry. "Is there anything you can remember about the surrounding areas that might help us pinpoint an exact location…"

Harry shook is head looking quite apologetic. "Sorry…" he muttered, his voice sounding hoarse.

McGonagall softly replied, "Don't be sorry. I'm glad you weren't able to see anything more… your safety far outweighs anything we could ever learn…"

There had been several smaller battles since the attacks in Dartmoor and South Yorkshire, in which Harry had been able to alert the Order, saving both Wizard and Muggle lives. But that was before he had successfully learned to Occlude. As important as it was for him to learn this necessary skill, Draco knew Harry regretted not being able to provide the Order with more accurate information now because of it.

"It's too bad we don't know where Voldemort is attacking," said Draco, speaking up for the first time in while. "We could help."

"Er… that's kind of what we were coming to tell you… the Muggles have got it all over the news right now. Fires are breaking out all over the country… well, at least in three different cities. The Muggles can't put them out and their finding dead bodies everywhere," Ron began. "Only they don't think it has anything to do with the fires because they're uninjured."

"They think it's some kind of natural gas explosion… possibly a problem with the gas lines, though their sensors haven't been able to find a leak of any kind," Hermione explained, referring to her pad of paper filled with endless notes. "And we know that it's happening in Luton, Reading and Chatham."

"Albus, there has to be connection with all of this," said Severus, looking pensive. "It can't possibly be a coincidence."

"I agree. Hermione, is there anything else?" said Dumbledore.

"Well, we think there might be some connections between some other things that have happened in the last month or so and-"

Just then, the flames in the fireplace blazed bright green once more, signaling someone else's arrival.

"What now?" asked Sirius irritably. With seven adults and five teenagers in the room, it was already uncomfortably crowded.

Tonks stumbled through the fireplace and quickly looked around the room at everyone who had gathered there. Spotting the person she needed she shouted, "Oy! Arthur, we need you! There's a situation at the Ministry. We think there may have been some attacks."

They all stood up, ready for action.

"Attacks? As in more than one?" Mr. Weasley asked, darting his eyes over to Hermione, Ron, and Ginny, wanting to confirm what they had already told them.

Tonks nodded anxiously, looking quite pale and ill. "Yes. There aurors have their hands full, so their calling in reinforcements from every department. Death Eaters are attacking Reading, Luton, and-"

"Chatham," Mr. Weasley finished for her.

Tonks stood there with her mouth agape. "Yeah, how did you know?"

"The Muggles have already started covering it on the news," Ron replied, filling her in on what they had learned. Tonks nodded, already knowing about the research they had been doing. "You need to tell the aurors to go in undercover; otherwise they'll risk magical exposure. The Muggles have got cameras everywhere!"

"We're already on it, thanks!" Tonks replied, looking anxious. "Are you coming, Arthur?"

"Yes, of course," he said, kissing his wife before following Tonks to the fireplace.

"Be careful!" Molly cried to them, looking beside herself with worry.

"I'll be back soon," Mr. Weasley replied.

"We'll have Order members to those locations as soon as possible," said Dumbledore, who had been whispering quietly to the other professors.

Tonks looked at them all blankly for a moment before replying. "The Minister of Magic made it clear to all of us that he doesn't want any interference from the Order on this one…" Tonks said quietly. "We're supposed to report back to him if we suspect an Order member is found at any of the locations. He was worried that the Order made interfere with the possibility of a peace treaty in the future…"

"That's ridiculous! There will never peace treaty. The Dark Lord doesn't negotiate!" said Severus, his voice dripping with venom. Everyone around the room nodded.

"Unless he doesn't need to negotiate… not if you have someone on the inside… Didn't you say, Arthur, that our own government may be covering up You-Know-Who's whereabouts?" asked Sirius.

"Actually it was Bill who began thinking that there might be a conspiracy. But I certainly believe it's possible. Percy may have been obliviated by someone inside the Ministry to prevent anyone finding out that they know more than they are letting on," Arthur explained. "Molly and I believe that it was the reason he was estranged from our family for so long."

"Do you think there's a conspiracy, Tonks?" asked Remus.

"I honestly don't know," she replied, looking quite bewildered. "The Aurors have had many leads, but our hands have been tied when it comes to following up on any of them. For while I just thought it was because of a lot of legal red tape, but now I'm not so sure…"

"This could only mean that the Minister was somehow working on behalf of the Dark Lord, or that he too was being manipulated somehow," said Severus, reiterating what they were all thinking by now.

Tonks eyes darted back to Arthur's now. "We really need to get back to the Ministry to get our assignments," she stressed, her voice sounding urgent.

"Albus, what will the Order do?" asked Arthur.

They all turned to look at Professor Dumbledore, knowing that the Ministry couldn't possibly handle all of this on their own. "I have long disagreed with Minister of Magic on many issues. This one is no different. We will still proceed accordingly. There is too much at stake for us to stand back and watch needlessly. And we can longer be certain that the Ministry will be our allies in this war against Voldemort."

They all nodded in consent, realizing how close this war was coming to their own home.

"Arthur, you and Tonks go help the Ministry and see what you can find out. Keep us informed. Severus and Minerva, take Sirius and Remus and assemble the rest of the Order and create three teams. Divide yourselves up equally and investigate these Muggle fires. See what we can do to help, and be careful. If you find yourselves in a middle of a battle, Apparate out of there and gather reinforcements. I'll meet up with you later. Molly, stay here at headquarters with the children and act as our liaison. Hermione, I would like to see these notes of you and your friends have created."

"Of course Professor Dumbledore," she replied, looking quite proud that she could help in some way.

"Finally, some action!" Sirius shouted, looking oddly gleeful at the prospect of walking into danger. He looked to the other three and nodded before they all Apparated away to locate their fellow Order members.

"What can we do?" Harry asked, looking much more alert now.

Professor Dumbledore smiled at him wanly. "Nothing, for now, my dear boy… this is not your battle to wage… not yet…"

"But-" Harry began to complain, but Dumbeldore sent him a look that refrained him for asking once more.

"Well, what about us?" Ron asked. "We are all of age now, why can't we help?"

"Because it's too dangerous," Molly said, glaring at the teenagers as if daring them to cross her.

Dumbledore nodded, stroking his long white beard in contemplation. "Molly's right. There are too many unknowns."

"Professor, I know you are just trying to keep us safe… but we all know that the final battle is going to come down to just me and Voldemort. The prophecy says so," Harry argued.

"Be that as it may… your part in this war has not yet come to pass. Do not be overly eager to jump into the fray so soon. You still have a lot to learn."

Harry nodded reluctantly and sank back down into his chair.

"Now Hermione, about these notes of yours…" Dumbledore began once more.

* * *

A/N: The next chapter picks up where this one leaves off, and I've already sent it off to my beta. So you all shouldn't have to wait too long for the next update. When I originally wrote this chapter it was pushing 40 pages in Word, so I decided to break it up into two chapters. I had no idea when I started writing the chapter that it would become so lengthy. Many of you have complained about the length so I'm trying to be a little more accommodating. I hope you liked it. Leave me a review! 


	25. Know Thyself

**Chapter 25- Know Thyself**

A short while later found the five friends and Professor Dumbledore, cross referencing the notes they had gathered with the information Percy had acquired from the Ministry, which he had obtained at great personal risk to himself.

On the table before them lay lists of known Death Eaters, maps detailing their whereabouts and the locations of all the battles that had taken place, as well as the various notes they had taken watching all the Muggle news coverage. Draco was familiar with most of the information, having taken many of the notes himself, and found that he and Ron worked well together coming up with possible connections and strategizing Voldemort's motives.

After their tireless efforts for nearly two hours, they had finally reached some conclusions. They were able to determine that twelve of the fifteen Muggle news stories that they had taken notes on could have involved Death Eaters. In fact, they were fairly certain that these events were actually smaller attacks that were planned to instill fear into the hearts of both Muggles and Wizards around Great Britain and various parts of Europe. After coordinating the date of each attack and pin pointing the location on the maps, they could clearly see that the attacks were being done in concentric circles around London, each attack getting closer and closer to the heart of Britain.

The Daily Prophet had speculated in sensational article this past spring that "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" had devised a plan of attack that involves total annihilation of the world. It seemed know that they weren't far from the truth. Voldemort and his followers had been regularly attacking smaller communities of wizards around the world. It was believed that once he controlled of most of the surrounding communities, that he would then focus his attack on Great Britain, which is commonly known to house the largest community of wizards in the world. It looked as though that prediction was now coming true.

Based on the information they were analyzing, they could only assume one of two things. Either Voldemort was planning to attack London next- most likely the only wizarding village in London, Diagon Alley- or he was looking for something or someone, suspecting it to be close to London. In either case, the news was grim.

The war was about to come to their own backyard. Thankfully, the Order's headquarters was well protected and unplottable. They were safe in their own little haven.

Confident with the success of his students' research, Dumbledore left headquarters to meet up with the rest of the Order to be apprised of the situation. Molly had disappeared somewhere else in the house, no doubt to worry about her husband's absence in seclusion. Leaving five weary friends with nothing left to do but to wait. Once again.

"I hate this," said Ginny, not having to elaborate on her abhorrence of the situation. They had already had this discussion many times before.

The "not knowing" was the absolute worse. Not knowing if a battle had even been waged. Not knowing if their loved ones were in danger. Not knowing just how many people had been injured or killed. Not knowing the fate of the wizarding world. Not knowing….

"Are you sure you're feeling alright, Harry?" asked Hermione, reaching across the table to grasp her friend's hand. "I hate to say it, but you look awful."

"I feel awful," he replied honestly, rubbing at his eyes tiredly.

He wasn't as pale as he was before, Draco observed, but his eyes revealed that Harry still wasn't a hundred percent yet. His fever had broken and his sweat matted hair had dried, leaving him with a haggard appearance.

"Do you still have a headache?" Draco asked, remembering the pain Harry had been in during vision. "I'm sure Severus has left another headache potion for you around here somewhere."

"No thanks. I think I'd just like to shower and lay down for a while, if that's alright?" said Harry, his voice sounding tired. "I'm just feeling a bit off, if you know what I mean…"

They all nodded, feeling sympathetic. He had mentally battled the onslaught of a vision for more than a half an hour before Voldemort finally receded his hold over him.

"Is anyone else hungry? I'm absolutely famished!" said Ron, jumping up to poke his nose into kitchen cupboards.

"You're always hungry," Hermione admonished. Ron shrugged in response and went about his search.

"Aren't you hungry?" Draco asked Harry, gesturing to the small meal that Molly had prepare for him earlier. Harry had yet to take a bite of it, and Draco suspected that he was too worried about what was happening to even think about eating.

"No, just tired. If you all don't mind, I think I'm going to go take a nap," he said. "It's not like there's anything more for me to do right now anyway."

Hermione looked as though she wanted to say something in response, but held back instead. Harry excused himself from the others and began to make his way upstairs.

A sudden, horrifying thought occurred to Draco as he watched Harry's retreating form. His mother didn't know that Harry was here, or that he was even friends with him. He had no idea how his mother would respond to Harry's presence in the house, and he wasn't so sure he wanted to find out. He didn't know how he was going to hide the fact that Harry was here if Narcissa decided to leave the privacy of her room.

Draco quickly followed Harry upstairs, hoping to intercede if the pair happened to come upon one another. The likelihood of that happening was slim, considering his mother rarely left her guest room, but the possibility of such an event occurring worried him.

Draco felt his pulse quicken at the thought of his mother discovering his relationship with Harry. It was bad enough that she was could possibly discover that he was friends with Harry, he couldn't imagine how she would react if she knew they were dating. For that matter she didn't even know that her own son was gay.

It wasn't something he really felt like announcing to her just yet. Their relationship since her return had been tenuous at best. They could barely be in the same room with one another before one of them began arguing about something or another. The thought of declaring his sexuality to her was enough to send his stomach into somersaults. After all, he was the last Malfoy heir and he was sure that she would contest that it was his job to find a proper girl to settle down to carry on the family name.

Thinking about his mother and the attacks that occurred today, he couldn't help but wonder if there was a connection. For a fleeting moment he thought that his mother might some how be involved with what was happening. She had looked awfully suspicious talking to the portrait of Mrs. Black earlier, but Draco could not think of a way that his mother could be responsible for the attacks. She had never left the house, mainly because of the magical tether tying her here, and she had no way of contacting anyone. Her tether prevented her from using any of the floos to fire call someone and she didn't have access to an owl. Realizing this, Draco almost felt bad that he would think of her so poorly, but there was no denying that his mother was up to something.

"You didn't have to follow me…" Harry said, drawing Draco's attention back to him. Harry yawned tiredly as he climbed the next set of stairs that led to the second floor. "I'll be alright on my own."

Harry must have sensed what was worrying Draco, because he suddenly said, "Oh, right…I hadn't thought about running into her," he quietly replied, as they both paused at the top of the stairs.

Harry and Draco both glanced around the second floor hallway, looking for signs that his mother was near. Seeing that there was no one in sight, Harry made his way towards the bathroom. He stopped short near Draco's bedroom, yawning once more. Glancing back and forth between the bedroom and the bathroom, he seemed to come to a decision.

"Maybe I'll just wait to shower," said Harry lingering in the doorway of the bedroom. "I'm just so tired…Do you mind if I sleep in here? Or I can find another guest room if you want?"

Draco nodded towards the bedroom and then guided him towards his own bed so that he could lie down. As long as he closed the door as he left, he was fairly certain that Harry's presence here could remain hidden a little while longer. Draco lovingly removed Harry's shoes off and then held the covers up so that he could crawl under. He then closed the blinds in the room with a flick of his wand, before turning to leave.

Harry caught his hand as he retreated. Turning back to his boyfriend, Draco saw the worry in his eyes. He had yet to say a word since following Harry in here, fearing that if his mother heard his voice she might come see what he was up to. He certainly didn't want Harry to think that he was slighting him in some way so Draco leaned down to whisper a reassurance, but found himself melting into one of Harry's kisses instead. It was tender and urgent, wanting nothing more than to find comfort. Draco returned the kiss with equal fervor, forgetting for a moment that should have been more cautious.

"I love you…" said Harry breathlessly as they pulled apart.

It was when he heard a sharp gasp from the hallway that Draco noticed Narcissa standing in the doorway. She must have just left her room to go downstairs to find dinner or something. Draco felt his heart drop into his stomach and jumped away from Harry as fast as he could, dropping his hand as if something hot had burned him. He knew that Harry was probably hurt by the gesture, but he was looking properly alarmed as well, sitting up in bed now. Draco stared at his mother in disbelief, not really comprehending how he had let the very situation he was trying so hard to avoid come to pass.

"Mother, I can explain…" he began. His mouth had gone dry and he was having difficulty speaking.

Narcissa's eyes slid from her son over to Harry, practically boring holes into him with the murderous gleam in her eyes. Her lips were pursed tight and her hands were angrily clenched by her sides.

"There really isn't any explanation needed is there?" she spat.

And she was right. What really could Draco say? It was fairly obvious from their display both their sexual orientation and choice of partners. Did it really matter how they came to be together? Or that they were ever once enemies?

Draco stood there silently, desperately trying to think of a way to fix this situation, but his mind was completely numb with the shock of what had just occurred. Seeing that her son wasn't going to offer any other explanation, Narcissa turned briskly on her heal and fled from their sight.

Draco swore under his breath. "Shite."

"Draco, I'm so sorry…" Harry tried to apologize, backing up against the headboard, looking thoroughly horrified.

"Leave it," he said quickly, not really wanting to hear any apologies.

"Draco…"

"Leave it!"

Harry nodded and turned away from him, looking quite forlorn. It had certainly been quite a day. At any other time, Draco would have cared, but right now he didn't even want to be in the same room as Harry.

"Get some rest," he said curtly, before quickly leaving the room to find his mother. It was time to face the music.

* * *

Harry groggily woke up a little more than an hour later, feeling a little better than he had before. With Sirius returning home and everything that had happened to Harry over the summer it had been almost easy to forget that there was still a war going on. But the dull ache in his head was a fresh reminder to him of the events that had transpired today… the vision, the attacks on Muggle cities, and now Narcissa's discovery of his relationship with Draco. It had been quite a day already.

Three hours had passed since he had tumbled out of the fireplace and into Grimmauld Place, clutching his head in pain, and he wondered worriedly what became of the Order. Were they able to assist the Muggles in putting out the strange fires? Had they found themselves in the midst of battle? Was anyone hurt or injured? What about Sirius and Remus? What exactly was going on? He needed answers, and he wanted them now.

A quick glance around determined that he was still alone in Ron and Draco's room. He was apprehensive at first with leaving the room to find the others, but he figured the damage had already been done as far as Draco's mother was concerned. He felt just awful about the situation and a knot had formed in the pit of his stomach as he contemplated just how upset Draco was with him.

Harry wearily dragged himself out of bed knowing that he would have to face the inevitable. He listened at the door for the sound of voices, but found that there was only silence on the other side. Opening the door slightly he peeked into the hallway to make sure that the coast was clear. Finding no one in sight, he quietly made his way downstairs. He quickly found Ron, Ginny, Hermione and Draco sitting in front of the television, their eyes glued to the set, anxiously watching Muggle news coverage. They were sprawled across the couch, chairs, and floor with various papers scattered around them.

"What's happening?" Harry asked anxiously as he entered the living room.

All four heads snapped up in his direction, having not heard him enter. The grim looks on their faces did not put Harry at ease.

"We're still not sure. No one from the Order has returned to headquarters yet, and Muggles don't seem to know much of anything," replied Ginny, turning to look back at the massive column of black smoke, which had begun to dissipate, that was being featured on the screen.

"Looks like they got the fires put out," Harry commented, not seeing any flames coming out of any of the buildings. He sank down onto the couch next to Draco.

Hermione nodded, "We suspect that the Order had something to do with that. My guess is that they are all under disillusionment charms."

"Have the Muggles discovered the cause of the fires?"

"No, but we're fairly certain that Death Eaters are responsible," Ron replied.

Harry sighed deeply as he watched the emergency workers at each scene handling the situation, helping those who were injured, and removing bodies that were killed in the "blast."

Harry sighed at all the death and destruction, wishing that he had been able to prevent it somehow. "I had hoped that we would know more by now."

"So did we," said Hermione quietly.

Glancing beside him, Harry noticed the grim look on Draco's face. He was almost fearful to approach Draco about what had happened with is mother. He had yet to say a word since Harry had entered the room, and the tension that was coming from his boyfriend was radiating off in waves.

"So is everything alright?" Harry asked Draco quietly.

"It's fine now," he replied tersely, though Draco wouldn't look at him.

Harry wanted to know exactly what had happened when Draco went to talk to his mother, but the blonde wasn't very forthcoming. He had said everything was fine, so why was he being so aloof about it all?

"Draco…"

Without responding, Draco got up and left the room. Harry looked to his friends for an answer to what had happened, but only received shrugs of uncertainty in response. He followed Draco and found him entering the drawing room across the hallway. The blonde didn't stop until he reached the large windows on the other side of the room. With his arms crossed and his back facing him, Draco stared out at the Muggle neighborhood, ignoring the fact that Harry had followed him.

"Draco?"

"I wanted to be alone…"

Harry shoved his hands in his pockets feeling very uncomfortable. "I just thought… I wondered what- so you talked to your mum?"

"Something like that…"

"You said everything is fine now. It isn't though, is it?" Harry asked coming up behind Draco now. Draco grunted noncommittally in response. "I'm guessing then it didn't go well. What did she say?"

"Nothing…" he said quietly.

Harry felt bad for him, knowing that his reunion with his mother more than a week ago didn't go the way Draco would have wanted. And now his mother found out a secret that Draco wished to keep hidden from her.

Harry reached out and put his hand on Draco's shoulder, urging him to turn around. "Dray… talk to me…"

"No!" Draco shouted, shaking his hand off his shoulder. "I'd like you to just leave me alone!"

Harry was taken aback, having never been spoken to like that from Draco. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing."

Harry sighed. "Don't say that. I know something is wrong, now just say it."

"It's nothing," Draco replied crossly.

"Draco…"

There was a moment's pause while Harry waited for a reply. At first he didn't think that Draco was going to respond, but then he muttered something incomprehensible.

"What?"

"I'm just irritated with you, alright?" said Draco, finally turning around now. His pale blue eyes still refused to meet Harry's green ones.

"With me?" Harry asked incredulously, wondering what he had done wrong when Draco hadn't said anything in response. He was fairly certain that it had something to do with Narcissa finding out about them, but that hadn't really been his fault. Besides, Draco had made him feel as if everything was fine now.

"You're mad at me?" Harry asked, understanding what Draco hadn't voiced aloud.

"Yes! Why did you have to go and kiss me?" Draco asked angrily, his eyes blazing as he finally looked up at Harry.

"I knew that this was what it was about," said Harry, feeling quite offended. "I said I was sorry! I didn't think she would walk in on us. And the last time I checked, the kiss was mutual."

Draco crossed his arms over his chest and adopted the Malfoy sneer that he had once been so famous for. "I just find it interesting that I helped keep us a secret from Sirius for more than a month, but you are here not even five minutes and your declaring your love to me in front of my mother!"

"Draco, I'm sorry! I didn't know she was standing there. What else do you want me to say?" Harry shouted exasperatedly.

"I don't know, but you've just made my life a hell of a lot worse!" Draco shouted back.

Harry stared at him incredulously. How could he say something like that to him? "I've made you life worse? How can you say that? I thought I meant something to you!"

Draco groaned in frustration. "Of course you do. That's not what this is about!" he yelled.

"Then what the hell is going on?" asked Harry, feeling quite bewildered on off balanced.

Draco turned away from again, still hugging his chest protectively. "Things were hard enough with my mother before. She won't even look at me now!" His voice made him sound wounded and afraid.

"I'm sorry!" Harry tried again, looking desperate.

"Sorry can't fix this Harry," said Draco, turning slightly to look at him once more. "My mother and I were never close, but at least we still had each other. Even after all the arguments we've had over the last week, we both knew we still had each other. Now we don't even have that!"

"I'm so sorry, Dray…"

"I went after her…. tried to talk to her, but she completely ignored me. Finally said she wanted me out of her sight," he said. "You can't know what that feels like. To be in love with an amazing person your mother doesn't approve of. She hates me! She won't even look at me! Can you possibly understand what that feels like?"

"She doesn't hate you Draco. She's your mother!" Harry tried.

"Yes she does! She knows that I've changed."

Harry rolled his eyes in irritation. Everyone knew that Draco had changed. It's what made him tolerable now. "So, that's not a bad thing!"

"Oh, it's not?" he asked, sarcasm lacing his voice. "Well, let me enlighten you, Potter. My _changing_ has completely shattered what was left of my life. Do you think that it was easy?"

Harry found that he couldn't respond.

"Huh? Do you think it was easy running away from my father and mother? Do you think it was easy putting aside all of the values I was raised with? To change the very core of my being? To be publicly ridiculed because of my family name? To defy the Dark Lord? To be shunned by my housemates? I used to be the most popular Slytherin, now I only have one friend left!" Draco shouted, obviously thinking of Blaise.

Draco could have turned his back and Harry and the Weasleys several times over the course of this last year, but his loyalty had never wavered. It hadn't when Pansy and he thugs had proposed that he spy on them for his father and the Dark Lord, and not when they tried to beat him into submission. He could have taken the easy way out, but he had chosen to stand beside those he had come to love. He had been shunned by his house as a result. It hurt Harry to think that Draco believed he only had one friend left in the world.

"No you don't! You have me! And Ron, Hermione, Ginny-"

"Those are your friends!"

"They're your friends now too! Why can't you see that? Why are you being such an arse?"

"I'm being an arse?" Draco asked incredulously.

"Yes, you are!"

"Just because I'm a little irritated? Aren't I allowed to be frustrated once in a while?"

"Of course, but I don't even know what this is all about!" Harry shouted exasperatedly.

"It's about me not knowing who I am anymore! I'm not really a Slytherin anymore- my whole house has practically shunned me- and I will never be a Gryffindor-"

"Trust me… you're a Slytherin to the core," Harry quickly replied, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at Draco unbelievingly.

"Whatever. That's not the point!"

"Then what is!"

"Just that…. this hasn't been the best year of my life," Draco mumbled, looking away now.

Harry couldn't help but retort," Well join the club…"

Draco looked up and met his eyes, knowing that no matter what had happened to him, nothing could compare what Harry had been through.

"I know…" he said quietly. "But things haven't been easy for me either…"

"I'm sure they haven't, but what exactly are we talking about here? I'm still confused," said Harry, feeling relieved that their shouting match seemed to be over.

Draco sighed irritably. "It's just been hard. I feel like I got dumped in a cauldron and my emotions were put on a mixing spell. I just feel confused…"

"What's been hard?" Harry asked softly, hoping to placate his boyfriend and fix the situation.

"Everything… running away, dealing with my house, listening to the comments everyone makes about us being together, confronting my father, facing Voldemort, dealing with my mother's reappearance, watching you go through everything…" Draco began. His voice trailed off to a whisper as he continued. "It's been hard learning what it was to be a real family…falling in love with you…"

Harry was really hurt now. "You say that like it's a bad thing!"

"Well, sometimes I don't know! I love you, Harry. I always will. But I've made a lot of sacrifices," Draco admitted.

Harry felt tears come to his eyes, wondering for the first if this was Draco's way of breaking up with him. "Why are you saying all of this?"

"So that maybe you'll understand what all this has cost me," Draco replied, gesturing towards Harry and the Order's Headquarters in general. "Hell, Potter, I don't even know who I am anymore!"

There was that word again, _Potter_. The way Draco had said his surname made him feel like everything that they had gone through together this year had never happened; like they were enemies once again. It made Harry feel immensely sad, feeling as though this might be the end for them.

"Listen, _Malfoy_, if you didn't like have changed who you are so badly then why the hell did you do it?"

"Because of you! The reason is you!" Draco shouted, walking away from him towards one of the chairs by the windows. He sat down on it, perching near the edge.

Harry was taken aback again, and found himself opening and closing his mouth, without any words leaving it, looking much like a fish. He really didn't know what to say in response.

Draco went on and added, "I changed everything about me because of you!"

"I get that, Draco. We've all seen the changes in you. I, for one, feel that they were all for the better. Do you regret all of that now?" he asked.

"No, never…" Draco said miserably, sinking back into his chair and looking as though the air had been let out of his sails.

"Then what's wrong?" Harry asked, taking pity on him and sitting down beside his boyfriend in the large squashy chair.

"I just never imagined it would be so hard still! When do we get a break? When do we get to be just a normal couple?"

"I don't know…"

Draco sighed, looking quite forlorn now that he had spent all of his pent up anger. After a long pause he finally said, "I'm sorry, Harry. I don't mean to be like this… None of this is really about us… it's just my mother-"

"I know… I'm sorry, too" said Harry, feeling the need apologize over and over again if necessary. Harry wrapped his arms around Draco, pulling him close.

"Why doesn't she love me? Am I so different than I was before?"

Harry didn't comment. There wasn't really anything he could say at this point to make the situation better. Instead, Harry buried his face in the crook of Draco's neck, breathing in his wonderful scent. He hoped this small bit of comfort would help the pain his boyfriend was obviously feeling from the rejection of his mother.

They sat there for a long while, holding onto one another, occasionally relishing the other with kisses. Neither of them wanted to leave the sanctuary of this room to face the inevitable. Not only were they dealing with the aftermath of Draco's mother, but also the attacks that had occurred today. They were still waiting to hear what had happened. Fortunately, they didn't have to wait long.

* * *

Ron, Ginny, and Hermione couldn't help but overhear Draco and Harry's conversation in the other room. The couple really should have put up a silencing spell, but in the heat of the argument they had obviously forgotten it. The three friends could have turned out the sound on the television set to block out the shouting voices or even throw up a privacy spell themselves, but they were just too curious to know what was going on.

They knew something had happened upstairs when they saw the look on Draco's face when he had come back down, but he hadn't told them what had occurred. Hermione, of course, already suspected that it had something to do with Narcissa and as always, she had been right.

Eventually the voices died down, and they could no longer hear what was being said. They could only hope that the pair had reconciled their differences.

"I've never heard them fight like that before," commented Hermione after a while.

Ron looked at his girlfriend in disbelief. "What? Yes you have! Remember what happened on New Years?"

"Yes, but that was a bit different, I suppose," Hermione replied. "Draco had been given that awful potion and he didn't even realize what he was doing until it was over. It wasn't Draco's fault that he assaulted him, and Harry knew that. The fight was more between you and Draco, if I remember correctly."

"Yeah, well I still say that the git deserved a good ass kicking after what happened," Ron muttered, obviously still upset at what had happened after all of these months.

"Ron!" Ginny chided.

"What? I'm just saying he could have observed a little more self control…"

"That's just ridiculous Ron. You know he became what he hated most!"

"I know, I know…" he replied, not really wanting to rehash all of that again.

They listened again for another few moments, wondering what the couple was saying now that it had gone quiet.

"Do you think they're going to be okay?" Hermione asked softly.

"They're fighting, 'Mione, not battling Death Eaters. Why wouldn't they be okay?" asked Ron.

"Well sometimes relationships don't turn out how you'd expect them to be," she said looking quite forlorn.

"It sounded pretty serious," Ginny added, looking equally as upset. "You don't think they're breaking up, do you?"

"I hope not. Harry really loves Draco. I hate to imagine what breaking up would do to him," Hermione replied.

"He survived Limbo and his soul chose to live despite all that has happened in his crappy life," said Ron. "And he survived that encounter with his bastard uncle this summer. Somehow I think he will survive a breakup."

"Ron, don't be so insensitive!" Hermione scolded.

"I'm not. I just think-"

Ron was interrupted by the sight of his father walking through the doorway with Remus and Sirius. His mother followed them in looking both tearful and relieved.

"Dad!" Ron shouted, jumping out of his seat. Hermione and Ginny stood up beside him, looking equally anxious.

"Hey, kids," said his father, looking rather worn and tired. "We have some news."

Ron nearly fell over when he saw the nasty gash in his father's arm. Remus and Sirius were sporting some minor injuries as well. "I'm fine, Ronnie," said his father when he saw him eyeing the gash. "Your mother will patch me up in just a bit."

"Wouldn't let me until he came to see you all. He knew how worried you've all been," his mother added.

"Where's Harry?" asked Sirius, looking around the room.

"Right here," Harry replied, appearing behind them in the doorway with Draco in tow. "What's happened? Is everyone alright?"

Ron the saw the desperate look in Harry's eyes as they skimmed over Remus and Sirius, making sure they were still in one piece, noticing all of the bruises and scratches.

"We're fine, Harry," said Remus, giving the teen a rough one armed hug. "Don't look so worried."

Ron saw Harry tried to smile, but it was clear he was still shaken up by the whole ordeal. They all were. Waiting to hear any type of news, when there are battles being waged, is unbearable.

"Where is everyone else?" asked Ginny. "Is it all over?"

"Yes," said their father. "Tonks, Moody, and Shacklebolt are being debriefed at the Ministry. I imagine the Aurors that are not dealing with the captured Death Eaters are all being reprimanded for working along side the Order again after explicitly being told not to allow us to interfere… and the professors are tending to some of the wounded in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. St. Mungo's already had their hands full so some of the injured were directed to the school. The Muggles are dealing with their injured and casualties too, of course."

"Were there that many?" Ron asked.

"Yes, but most of the injuries sustained were minor. Many just had a bad case of smoke inhalation. We got there in the nick of time."

"How many Death Eaters were captured?" asked Draco.

Remus turned to him to reply. "Only nine. Most Apparated away as soon as we arrived on the scene."

"How do you know?" asked Hermione curiously. "Forgive me, but I can't imagine that they would be in those awful robes in front of Muggles, exposing magic like that."

"Oh, but hey are," Remus replied. "They're using Notice-Me-Not spells to do their dirty work out in the open now. The Muggles didn't even give them a second glance."

"And the fires?" asked Hermione again.

"You were right Hermione, those Muggle fires were caused by Death Eaters. The blazes were used as a distraction. The smoke screen allowed the Death Eaters to raid the nearby homes," his father explained.

"Muggle homes? Why would they do that?" Ginny asked. "What could they possibly gain?"

"Well, for one it causes mass hysteria… fear is a powerful tool in Voldemort's campaign to take over the wizarding world," Remus explained. "If enough people believe that resistance against him is futile, they may start joining his ranks out of fear for their loved ones. It happened before…"

"They were looking for something else as well…" Sirius added.

"What?" Harry asked curiously.

"Muggleborns and halfbloods. Many still live around the Muggles they grew up with. Death Eaters killed quite a few, as well as several Muggles, before Ministry and the Order arrived at each scene," he replied. "Thankfully, there weren't as many casualties as Dartmoor, from what I hear."

Hermione made a sharp gasp, and covered her mouth. "Why? Why them?" she asked, although she already knew the answer.

"Voldemort is still trying to purify the race, I guess," said Sirius. "More pure blood propaganda. Just another strategy in his twisted drive for power."

"Anything else?" Harry asked, determined to find out all the details.

"Yes, actually… Dementors were used in Luton just like they did during the attack on Halloween in Hogsmeade," said Ron's father, looking perplexed.

"What is it, dad?" asked Ron.

"Well, it's just that the Dementors seemed out of place in this attack, less organized and rather random in their attacks," he replied. "Something tells me that Voldemort wasn't as successful as he thought he'd be in gaining their alliance. There seems to be some resistance… some wavering in their willingness to follow orders."

"What does that mean for us?" Ron asked.

"We're not sure. We're looking into ways of possibly coercing the Dementors against Voldemort, though were not sure how," said Remus. "You found one lone Dementor on your way to Donn Island and there may be more. If enough can be found that resist the collective mind the creatures seem to share when they are gathered, we might be able to somehow use them to weaken Voldemort enough to take him out once and for all."

"Well, we do know when thing for sure now… thanks to your research. Dumbledore says that the next attack will probably be in Diagon Alley. They are on alert now and many are being evacuated as we speak," said Sirius, grinning down at all of them broadly.

"At least some good has come of all of this," said Ron.

They were pensive for a few moments as they thought about all they had learned. The silence was broken by the sound of Harry clearing his throat.

"Does any one know if these attacks were somehow related to my vision… not the one from today, but from before… about the woman?" Harry asked.

_"She may still have some usefulness_," thought Ron, remembering the line from Harry's vision.

"No, we've thought about that too. We can't find a connection yet," Remus replied.

"So that probably means that whatever that vision meant has yet to take place…" he replied.

Remus nodded. "If we only knew what…"

"And when," added Ron's mother, still looking quite upset.

"Or where," said Draco, finishing everyone's thought.

Only time would tell.

* * *

A/N: Wow, these last two chapters were hard to write. I think my muse went on vacation for a while. I hope that you found it interesting. A lot of sub plots that have spanned the series are beginning to culminate together. Whew! I didn't think I'd ever finish writing it with what little spare time I have. I wrote everything so out of order that it's hard to imagine this came together in the end. Anyway, let me know what you all think in a review. I will posting the next two chapters very soon.


	26. She may still have some usefulness…

**Chapter 26-** **She may still have some usefulness…**

Remus finished the last of his late afternoon tea and rinsed his cup in the sink. He glanced outside at the spectacular forest view and smiled, knowing that they would soon have to leave this sanctuary once the school year began again. There was little more than a week left of the summer before he and Harry would leave to go back to Hogwarts.

Sirius had opted to stay behind and take care of the cabin in their absence and devote himself to helping the Order. Apparently the action Sirius saw during the recent battles only a few days ago and rekindled his unbridled spirit. They had all taken the situation seriously, increasing the amount of training that Harry and his friends received and researching ways to thwart the Death Eaters plans. But with Sirius it had become almost an obsession. He had decided to dedicate his time and energy to bringing down the Lord Voldemort once and for all, whatever the means.

Remus had to admit that this new surge of allegiance within his friend concerned him greatly, especially with mental confusion he still suffered from. He worried that Sirius would go off and do something reckless to get himself killed, _again_. He didn't think that Harry or himself could stand losing him once more. It had been hard enough the first time.

Remus raised his arms overhead and stretched carefully, aware of the tightness and the ache that had begun to manifest itself in his tired muscles. He had felt the onset of the familiar symptoms three days earlier. Experience had taught him to read the changes within his body. He could tell exactly when the moon would be full without having to consult a lunar calendar. After so many years of dealing with his "condition," he had become somewhat of an expert in regards to understanding his nemesis, the moon.

He was scheduled to arrive at Hogwarts this evening so that he could undergo his transformation within the safety and security of the dungeons. This would be the third time this summer that he would leave Harry to undergo his change, and it helped to know that he was leaving his cub in good hands.

Crossing the spacious open floor plan of the cabin, Remus stood at the bottom the stairs and called for Harry.

"Coming…" Harry yelled down.

The teen soon came down the stairs, a duffle bag slung across one shoulder, his body language hinting that something was on his mind. Remus watched as he set his things on the nearest couch and quietly slumped down onto the arm.

"Are you all set?" Remus asked, noticing once again how quiet Harry had been all day.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

Remus wasn't buying it. "Are you feeling alright? You've been quiet."

"I'm fine," Harry replied, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away.

"Why don't I believe you?"

Harry groaned and rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'm not fine. I'm worried about you, okay? I hate that you have endure all that pain during your transformation every month. It's not fair."

"Is that what this is all about? Harry… honestly, I'll be fine. I've done this a few times before," Remus chuckled, trying to reassure him. "It never seemed to upset you before. Why now?"

"It's always bothered me, but I guess it just bothers me more now."

"Why?"

"I asked Sirius the other day to explain how it all happens… he was a little _graphic_…" Harry replied, wincing at the memory of whatever his godfather had told him.

Although Harry had seen the transformation once back in his third year, his cub had never been told how the transformation actually occurs. Remus had no doubt that Sirius went into every gory detail, having seen him transform numerous times during all of their school years together. Remus was sure that his friend had explained how his bones would break and would painfully reform and that his muscles and organs would grow and shift until he resembled his canine form. Sirius had always been sensitive to ordeal around Remus, but loved to gross out others with what he had been allowed to witness so many times before. He just wasn't sensitive about how it may bother other people, especially his godson, and probably went overboard in the explanation.

"You could have asked me, you know…"

Harry shrugged, looking uncertain now.

"I'll always be honest with you if you ask me something, but I also reserve the right to keep some things private."

"I know."

They were suddenly interrupted by the sound of Sirius barging through the door, an armload of firewood in his arms and another large load magically levitating behind him. The both jumped in surprise having forgotten he had gone to collect the wood from the large pile outside. They had run low and needed to start another fire before Remus and Harry could Floo anywhere.

"Hey," Sirius barked in greeting, as he made his way towards the fireplace and dumped his load just to the side of it against the wall. He then used his wand, which he had been awkwardly holding, to direct the rest into its proper spot. Grabbing a few logs, he hastily tossed them into the fire place, ignited a fire, and then grabbed the pot of Floo powder from its position on the mantle.

"You two all set?" he asked, holding out the pot to both of them, looking grumpier than usual.

Harry nodded, grabbing his duffle bag once more. "I was just leaving… take care of yourself, okay?" he said turning to Remus.

"I will, don't worry…"

Harry nodded. "See ya," he said to Sirius, before grabbing and tossing a handful of Floo powder and stepping into fireplace. He shouted his destination and disappeared in a blaze of green flames.

The pair watched the young man leave and then turned to one another.

"Are you going to be alright here by yourself?" Remus asked his friend. Like Harry, Sirius had been quiet all day, but for very different reasons. Remus was fairly certain that he knew what was bothering his friend. When he didn't get a response, Remus said, "Are you listening to me?"

Sirius had been lost in thought and was startled by his question. "Hmm? What?"

"I asked if you are going to be alright here by yourself?"

"Of course," Sirius replied sardonically.

"You know what I mean…"

Sirius shook his head looking rather irritated. "No, what?"

"I mean are you okay that Harry is leaving to go to his friends' house leaving you here alone," Remus said, hating that he had to spell it out for his friend.

Sirius sighed, and the same haunted look that he had worn all day returned. "I just wish he felt comfortable hanging out with me," he finally admitted.

"He does," Remus insisted.

Sirius raised his eyebrow in way that could only mean, "_You're kidding me, right?"_ The last time Remus had gone off to Hogwarts for his transformation, Harry had come back to the cabin to find Sirius smashed drunk. After learning about his godson's horrible childhood, he had never forgiven himself for his drunken display.

"I promise you that he does."

"Then why does he always end up at headquarters instead of staying here when you are gone. I swear he doesn't want to be alone with me," he said. "Sometimes I wonder if he's afraid of me."

"I don't think that's it. Hanging out with his friends during my transformations is a bit of a tradition now for Harry. In some ways, he's still learning how to be a normal teenager. Before this summer, he never really had a chance to just hang out with his friends. And right now, that's what is important to him. I'm sure it won't always be like this…" said Remus. Then he added, "Think about yourself at his age. Did you ever really want to hang out with adults?"

"I guess not. I see your point…"

Remus smiled and clapped his friend on the shoulder. "As I knew you would."

"Wouldn't you rather have some company? Like in the old days?" Sirius asked, his blue eyes shining with the memory of the Shrieking Shack. "It might be fun."

Remus hesitated for a moment. Part of him wanted to relive the old days, but a lot had changed since then. "As much as I appreciate it mate, I'm going to have to pass. I wouldn't be much fun. The potion Severus makes me helps me keep my mind, but the transformation itself is getting harder and harder for my body to bear. I'm really content with sleeping through the night in a cell during the ordeal. And the following day I'm almost always in the infirmary recovering. The transformations get worse with age, which is why many werewolves do not live very long. I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess."

"I didn't realize…" Sirius said softly, obviously sympathetic to his friend's plight.

Remus smiled appreciatively. "It's alright. It's just one of those things I'd rather bear alone now."

"Well, it's getting late. You should be on your way."

Remus checked his watch and nodded in reply. "You're right. I need to take my potion soon."

"Take care, Remus."

"I will, my friend," he replied before stepping towards the fireplace and Flooing to Hogwarts.

* * *

"Get it! Get it!" Ginny shouted, pointing wildly at the flying beach ball.

"Got it!" shouted Neville, stumbling over a foot stool.

"No, I got it!" yelled Ron, diving towards the floor with his wand held tightly in his hand. "_Wingardium__ Leviosa!"_

Ron caught the ball just before it hit the ground and held it there, hovering in the air just inches above the ground, before flicking his wrist and sending the ball bouncing erratically around the room. He jumped back to his feet with a triumphant look upon his face.

"Honestly!" Hermione admonished them. She was trying in vain to read while the others played. Ron rolled his eyes at her, wishing for just once his girlfriend could let herself go.

Draco went chasing after the beach ball this time. "You're just mad you didn't think of the game yourself," he said to her, magically catching the ball in the air before sending it flying again. Ron, Neville, and Draco volleyed the ball back and forth to one another, running about the room as necessary to get a better aim.

Ginny would have loved to be able to participate as well, having inherited the Weasley spirit for fun and mischief, but she was still underage. Instead, she gave a play by play of all of the action, content with watching the boys have their rowdy fun.

Once a portkey to Harry's party, they had taken to batting the beach ball by hand around the room when they were bored. It had only been a step further to think of a magical way of playing their game. The game was pretty basic. There was only one rule: don't let the ball hit the ground. They had to keep the beach ball moving around the room only using magic. Ron's mother didn't exactly approve of their antics, but as long as nothing got broken she didn't seem to mind too much. It was no where in comparison as awful as some of the things the twins had done over the years.

Remarkably, their game had introduced a magical concept that had begun to fascinate them to no end. They had discovered the wonders of group magic, something that they would learn more about as seventh years. Although often difficult to perform, group magic had been commonly used throughout the ages to perform defensive magic as well as warding large buildings from attack.

The friends realized, quite by accident, that when joined together with a single purpose in mind, they were able to share each other's magic to keep the ball moving about the room. If all the players were concentrating, a levitation spell had to only be uttered occasionally to reinforce the strength. They were using group magic at the most basic level to play their game, but it presented infinite possibilities. They definitely wanted to explore it further in their training with Sirius and Remus, even if they weren't allowed to become official members of the Order of the Phoenix.

Ron "captured" the ball once more and threw his wand arm wildly to send the ball flying again, only his aim was little more than off. Neville desperately tried to regain control of the flying ball, but failed to do little more than push it more rapidly on its predetermined course.

"Oh no!" Ginny squealed, realizing what was about to happen.

Ron noticed too late that Snape and Narcissa were walking past the living room at just the wrong time. It would be impossible to stop it now, even if he did cast an Impedimenta charm. The out of control beach ball bounced off the side of Snape's head with an audible _thud_.

The Potion's Master quickly drew his wand and turned to assess the situation, his dark robes whirling about him menacingly. He soon realized what had happened when he saw the beach ball still bouncing about the room.

"You will cease this childish nonsense at once," Snape roared, "or so help me Weasley I will turn you into a freckled toad!"

Ron quickly worked to hide his grin, knowing that he could be possibly in a lot of trouble here. "Uh, sorry…" he finally managed.

Snape walked away in quite huff, probably still wishing that he actually had transfigured Ron into an awful toad.

Draco's mother lingered a moment longer and watched as the ball finished bouncing off the walls and came to rest near the doorway by her feet. She looked at curiously before glancing momentarily at Draco, her face an emotionless mask. She soon followed Snape down to the kitchens without a word being said.

"Ron! I can't believe you did that. He's a professor!" Hermione scolded him, throwing a decorative pillow from the couch at his chest. It fell harmlessly to the ground.

"Oops!" Ron said, shrugging sheepishly, while still trying not to smirk at the mental image that was playing through is mind.

"Sorry, that was my fault," Neville tried, looking a little shaken to have seen his Potion's Master outside of school. "I should have been paying better attention."

"It's not your fault. Ron has awful aim!" Ginny countered. Ron glared at his sister scornfully for never taking his side.

"Yeah, nice going, Ron," said Draco, coming up beside the taller redhead. "You're lucky my godfather didn't kill you."

"Yeah, well it looks like I survived," Ron replied, still trying not to bust out laughing.

"Barely," Draco muttered.

One look at one another was all it took. Ron reenacted the look on Snapes's face when he was hit in the head with the beach ball, and the pair collapsed to the floor in a fit of laughter. The image of Snape getting walloped in the head would keep Ron smiling for a very long time.

"Oy, what's with your mother hanging on Snape all time?" Ron asked, shoving Draco playfully in the ribs as he finally got up from the floor. He waggled his eyebrows at him suggestively.

Draco shoved him back into the couch and said, "Shut it, Weasley!"

Ron could tell that Draco wasn't really mad at him and was just as curious about his mother's behavior. "No, seriously… she never comes out of her room unless Snape is around. What do you make of that?"

"Ron, he said shut it," Ginny said firmly, bonking him on the head with another pillow.

"I was just wondering…"

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hermione rising from the couch to reprimand him, but he was thankfully saved by Harry flooing in at just the right moment.

"Hey mate!" Ron shouted excitedly, crossing the room to reach his best friend before Hermione could scold him for his thoughtlessness. "How are you?"

"Good," Harry replied, smiling softly as he dusted the soot off him.

"Hi Harry," said Neville, coming up to shake Harry's hand. "Good to see you."

Harry smiled even more broadly and was obviously happy to see his friend from school. "I didn't think you'd be able to make it."

"Yeah, well it took some convincing, but Gran's finally let me come visit Ginny," Neville replied, eyeing his girlfriend across the room, who was patting the couch beside her playfully. He then quietly excused himself to go join her.

"Harry, what took you so long? You just missed what has got to be the scariest and best moment of my life!" Ron exclaimed excitedly.

"Scariest and best? What could have possibly happened?" Harry asked curiously, as he slung the duffle bag he was carrying off his shoulder and placed it besides the sleeping bags that were lying against the wall.

Ron took a deep breath for dramatic effect. "We were playing that game we made up…"

Harry nodded, already knowing what he was talking about having played the game himself.

"And I threw the beach ball at Snape's head!"

"You did what?"

"I threw the beach ball at Snape's head! It made the coolest sound as it bounced off."

Harry stared at him wide eyed. "And you lived to tell about it!"

Ron grinned stupidly. "Yeah, isn't it great?"

"How are you still alive?"

Ron shook his head. "Don't know. He did threaten to hex me into a toad."

"A freckled toad!" Ginny shouted to them, half listening to their conversation, from where she was cuddling with Neville.

"He must've been in a good mood or something. It was…" Ron thought for a moment, trying to find the right words to describe the joy he was feeling. "Spectacular!"

"I would have loved to have seen that," said Harry, chuckling softly.

"Oy, that's my godfather you're talking about there," Draco said, playfully nudging Harry as he came up beside him.

"Yeah, and you've got to admit that he deserved it after all he's done to us," Harry retorted.

"I don't see how being a fine Potion's Master and strict disciplinarian warrants such an attack," Draco replied, his pale blue eyes twinkling in mirth.

"Like you didn't love seeing that happen," Ron retorted.

Draco smiled and nodded in agreement, knowing that it was true.

"Where's Blaise? I thought you said you were going to invite him," said Harry.

"Said he couldn't make it when he responded to my letter," Draco replied with a shrug. "Didn't really say why."

Ron watched as the blond then grabbed Harry by the arm and dragged him off to the armchair in the far corner of the room. Draco sat down and pulled Harry into his lap. Ron turned away before he saw anything that might gross him out. He made a face a mere thought that Draco and Harry might be snogging.

"Are you ever going to get used to the fact that they are dating?" Hermione asked, reading Ron like a book. "It's been over a year now, I think."

"I know. It's just that…well… just when I think I might have gotten used it, I get all weirded out again," Ron replied truthfully. "It's still strange, you know."

"Strange that Harry's gay, or strange that he's dating Draco?" she asked, looking at him curiously.

Draco and Harry had both changed a lot in the past year. Each had grown so much in so many different ways, having overcome a myriad of problems. They deserved a bit of happiness, even if it was with each other. Ron could acknowledge that fact, but that didn't mean he really understood it.

"Both!"

Hermione nodded in understanding. "Well, it's obvious that Draco isn't going anywhere any time soon. So might as well start accepting it, right?"

Ron looked at her knowing that she was right. "I suppose," he said. He chanced a glance over his shoulder at the other couple and cringed when he saw Harry kiss Draco softly on the lips. Looking away he noticed his sister doing something quite similar to Neville. "Ugh, not Ginny too! Do they have to kiss right in front of us?"

"What like this?" Hermione asked, boldly standing on her tip toes to place a rather suggestive kiss on his lips.

"Don't start doing that… or you might be in trouble later," Ron replied, capturing Hermione's lips again.

"Watcher every- Hey! What's with the massive teenage public display of affection!" said Tonks loudly, as she entered the room, cringing at the sight in front of her.

"Sorry, Tonks," Hermione replied, looking almost as red as Ron felt.

"We're not in public! We're in the living room!" Draco shouted, rising with Harry from the armchair to help the older witch with the load she was carrying in her arms. It was a miracle she hadn't tripped yet and sent all of her packages flying every which way.

Harry grabbed three thin square shaped boxes from where they rested like trays on her right hand, while Draco removed the large grocery bags filled with 2 liter bottles and bags of crisps from both of her arms.

Hermione joined Harry and together they leaned in and smelled the boxes. A look of satisfaction crossed both their smiling faces and they stared down at the boxes like they were filled with some sort of treasure. "Mmmm…" they both moaned.

"Okay there you two?" Ron asked, truly concerned. "You're sniffing boxes."

Harry and Hermione both burst out laughing.

"What? I know we decided to try something Muggle tonight, but I hope that you don't honestly expect us to eat a box," Ron replied, wondering how he was ever talked into any of this.

"We're not smelling the boxes, Ronald. We're smelling what's in the boxes," Hermione explained, as she opened the box on top to reveal a strange looking pie covered in cheese and bits of round meat.

Ron was about to protest that he didn't want to eat a pastry smothered in greasy cheese when his nostrils got a whiff of what Hermione and Harry were so enraptured with. His nose seem to come alive with the whatever herbs lay hidden with the messy pie in front of him and he longed to sink his teeth in whatever it was in front of him. "Ooh, that smells good. What is it?"

Tonks laughed at whatever look had crossed his face. "It's pizza, Ron. And you're going to love it!"

"Well, let's eat!" he declared.

"Not yet!" Hermione suddenly exclaimed. "We're not ready yet. Everything has to be just perfect."

Ron looked to Ginny and Neville, who looked absolutely clueless about all of this as he was. He then looked to Draco, who shrugged his shoulders, still holding onto the bags he had taken from Tonks.

"Well, what do we need to do? I'm starving," whined Ron.

"You're always starving!" Hermione replied. "Tonks, did you get a chance to bring the VCR and the videos I asked for?"

"Yup, they're right here in my pocket," the pink haired witch replied, retrieving the shrunken objects from her denim Muggle jacket. She set them onto a nearby table and re-enlarged them.

"Okay, so can we eat now?" asked Ron, making a move toward the pizza boxes. His mouth salivating now from the delicious smell.

"Nope, first everyone needs to change into their pajamas."

"Why?" asked Neville, looking quite startled.

"Because we're having a pajama party, that's why," she simply said. "When you are done… let's see… Ron, Ginny, and Neville can set up the sleeping bags and pillows in front of the TV. Harry can you handle setting up the VCR?"

"I think so," Harry replied. "I had to do it few times at the… few times before."

"Thanks. And Draco, can you help me with getting the drinks and get pizza onto plates for everyone?" asked Hermione sweetly.

"Great, I get to play house elf," Draco muttered, stepping forward to put the crisps and 2 liter bottles onto the table.

"Don't whine Dray, this will be fun," Harry assured him.

"Really? Have you done this… pajama party sort of thing before?" Draco asked him.

"Well, no, not really…" Harry admitted. "Not ever, actually."

Ron wanted to punch Draco for being so insensitive. Of course Harry hadn't. He hadn't even been allowed to have friends.

"Which is why we are doing this… so that we can all have a fun experience… now pajamas everyone!" Hermione shouted, clapping her hands together to get them moving.

A short while later found the six friends sprawled out on the floor in their sleeping bags, spelled with charm so that they were comfortable. Jinx and Crookshanks had since curled up beside them, looking quite content. The group munched on pizza and crisps, and they sipped Muggle colas through cups and fancy straws they had found in the bottom of one of Tonk's bags. They would have all preferred to have some kind of alcoholic beverage, but Ron's Mum wouldn't have allowed it.

On the TV before them was a movie called _Jerry Maguire_, which Hermione insisted was supposed to be very good. Ron had to agree, though he didn't understand much of the Muggle lingo in the movie.

Ron had watched a "Vid-eeh-oh" only once before at Hogwarts when Harry had helped Ginny with her Muggle Studies assignment last year. That had been great fun, but this was even better. Ron found that he was quite fond of pizza, something he had never had before. But he wasn't so sure about the fizzy Muggle drinks, though the others seemed to enjoy them.

All in all it had been a great evening, with lots of fun and laughter. Once they were done eating, they dimmed the lights and put on another movie called _Vegas Vacation_. Though it was a comedy, Ron didn't care for it much as he didn't really understand what the plot was supposed to be about. Instead, he focused on cuddling with Hermione, something he rarely got a chance to do in this crazy house.

Ron noticed that they were all snuggling with their significant others, content to forget about what was happening in the rest of the world. They talked quietly to one another, but mainly they watched the movie, glad for once to be able to escape the horrors of the world and mindlessly watch this form of entertainment.

Ron felt his eyes starting to get heavy as the night wore on. He snuggled down into his sleeping bag beside Hermione and allowed himself to start drifting to asleep. He caught a whispered conversation from somewhere behind and listened in quietly.

"You alright?" he heard Draco ask.

"Yeah," Harry replied.

"You've been kind of quiet."

"Sorry."

"What's wrong?"

"Just thinking about Remus. I hope he's okay."

"Oh… I'm sure he is. He's transformed loads of times before, right?"

"Yeah, I know…so how is your Mum?"

"Fine, I guess."

"Do you talk to her much?"

"Not really, no… not since I saw her talking to that blasted painting of Great Aunt Walpurga. I don't think she's forgiven me for being so suspicious of her."

"Are you still?"

"I don't know. Maybe… I've tried to talk to her, but it's useless. She doesn't tell my anything. Not that she ever has. The only one she seems to want to confide in is Severus."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they were friends back in Hogwarts," said Draco. Then he added, "She's more comfortable around him."

"I guess that makes sense then."

"Ron seems to think that they have a thing for each other…"

Ron tried not to cringe when he heard that comment. He didn't want to give himself away that he was listening to their conversation.

"Do you?" Harry asked.

"No. They're just friends," Draco stated a little more firmly than necessary.

"Oh."

It was quiet for a few moments and Ron was about drift off again, when he heard another whisper.

"What are you thinking?"

"Nothing."

"C'mon, Harry. What is it?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I think there's more to your mother than meets the eye…"

"What do you mean?"

"It's just… I keep thinking about what Voldemort said… that '_She still has some usefulness'…"_

"Yeah, so…"

"Well, what if he meant her? What if she leads the Death Eaters right to us?"

"Why would she do that? She escaped from them. Besides she can't even leave the house!" Draco said heatedly, causing a few of the others who had been snoozing to startle slightly before falling back to sleep. "My mother wouldn't sell me out like that!"

It sounded to Ron that he was trying to convince himself of what he was saying more than he was trying to reason with Harry.

"Shh… not so loud…" said Harry. "I'm sorry. You're right. I'm just worried about everything."

"I know, me too…"

"I didn't mean anything by what I said… I was just thinking aloud…"

"If you say so..."

"You know I love you, right?"

"I love you too… sorry for the attitude…" Draco apologized.

At the sound of kissing Ron rolled over at tried to will himself to sleep. Hermione was already asleep beside him, so he wrapped his arm across her waist and buried his face in the nape of her neck, feeling her curly brown hair tickling his nose. He concentrated on the sound of Neville softly snoring a few feet away, pretending that he was back at the Burrow listening to the chorus of snores his brother's would produce at night. He tired to think about anything other then what Draco and Harry might be doing.

Thankfully, it worked and Ron fell asleep to the soft glow of the TV a short while later.

* * *

Draco awoke in the middle of the night, feeling nature's call. He was content in his comfy sleeping bag cuddling beside Harry and his friends. He really didn't want to get up to use the restroom, but as he lay there he realized that soon he wasn't going to have a choice. He knew he shouldn't have drunk all of those fizzy Muggle drinks before bed.

He lay there a little while longer, feeling Harry's breath blowing on the back of his neck in little puffs and listening to Ron snoring softly somewhere across the room. When his need finally became urgent, he gently removed Harry's arms from around his waist. He then carefully slipped from his cocoon of warmth and padded on bare feet around the sea of bodies towards the bathroom down the hall.

Draco hastily relieved himself and made his way back to the living room, intent on falling back to sleep as quickly as possible. As he passed the darkened drawing room, something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. The room was dimly lit by the brightness of the full moon, and he could just make out the shadow of someone standing beside an open window.

"Hello?" he called out, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes so that he could see properly.

"_Who would be wandering about at this hour?"_ he thought. _"Its probably well past 2 AM."_

Upon hearing his voice, the shadowy figure shut the window promptly and whirled around to face him. The hairs on the back of his neck rose in alarm, and he wished that he had stowed his wand in the waistband of his pajama bottoms like Harry always did. "Who's there?" he asked, his muscles stiffening.

"It's only me, my dragon," said a soft voice.

"Oh," said Draco, recognizing the voice instantly. The tone, however, confused him somewhat. His mother's voice sounded almost kind, so unlike how she had been treating him these last few days since she had learned about his relationship with Harry. Taking a few steps closer he could just make her face out by the light of the moon. "What are you doing?" he asked tiredly

"Nothing," she said quickly, her voice laced with sweetness. "It was a bit stuffy in room and needed a bit of fresh air. The windows don't open in my room so I thought I would come down here… seeing as I'm not permitted to leave the house to enjoy the cool night."

"Oh," he replied lamely.

"Well, I suppose I should head back to bed now. Goodnight," she said, walking past him hurriedly.

"G'night," replied Draco after her, feeling bewildered by this oddly civil conversation.

He couldn't help but feel as though something was off, but he could not pin point what. Sure, his mother had opened a window, but it wasn't like his mother could actually escape through it or something. The magical tether kept her inside the house.

Draco tiredly made his way back to the living room and found his place beside Harry on the floor. He dwelled on his mother for a few moments longer before sleep finally claimed him once more, content in his assumption that his mother hadn't done anything wrong.

Unfortunately, he couldn't have been farther from the truth.

If Draco had been a bit more coherent at this late hour, he might have seen that his mother hadn't been alone when he caught her at the open window…

If he had only taken a few more steps into the drawing room he might have seen the Weasley's owl silently flying off into night, illuminated by the brightness of the full moon…

If he had only had listened to his instincts about his mother...

If only…

* * *

A/N: So what did you think? Please let me know. The next chapter is going to be action packed! The chapter title is "The Ultimate Betrayal."


	27. The Utlimate Betrayal

A/N: I've had this chapter back from my beta for weeks now, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to post it just yet. Something didn't feel right about it and it wasn't until recently that I've been able to make it right. I ended up adding three pages, which are unbeta'd so please forgive any errors. This chapter turned out completely different than I had originally planned, but I like it all the same. It does a nice job of tying up a few loose sub plot ends and contains one of the most action packed scenes I have ever written. Well, enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 27 – The Ultimate Betrayal**

Harry awoke to a strangest sensation on his leg. It felt as if a small garden gnome were trying to massage his calf muscle. Peaking one eye open, he saw that it was Jinx, Draco's Kneazle, kneading the sleeping bag, trying to find a comfortable position. When the little Kneazle finally seemed satisfied with her arrangement, she curled up in a ball behind the crook of his leg.

Harry blinked against the harsh morning light streaming through the windows and snuggled down further into his sleeping bag next to Draco hoping that he might fall asleep once more. Hard as he tried to rest peacefully there was suddenly kink in his back that just needed to be stretched. Trying not to wake Draco, Harry arched his body and stretched this way and that way, but still he found no relief. The backache began to grow and he finally decided that sitting up and stretching properly was his only option. Jinx, upset that her nap had interrupted, gave him a discontented look before sauntering off to find somewhere else cozy to sleep.

"Morning, love," said a soft sleepy voice beside him as Harry sat up and raised his arms over his head.

"Morning," Harry replied softly, leaning over to plant a kiss on Draco's lips. Draco moaned appreciatively and kissed him back, a little more forcefully.

"Isn't a little early for that?" Ron said with a groan from only a few feet away. His comment was met with a room full of giggles.

"Are you _all_ awake now?" Harry asked, having momentarily forgotten that he and Draco were not alone.

"Yeah," said the chorus of voices in the room. Harry watched bleary eyed as one by one his friends untangled their arms and legs and sleeping bags from each other. They slowly sat up, stretched, and rubbed the sleep out of their eyes.

Harry grabbed his glasses from the nearby end table and placed them on his face. He could see now that each one of his friends sported a lovely case of bed head, Hermione especially. When she noticed Harry's smirk in her direction, she self consciously ran her hand through her locks, trying to tame the frizzy curls.

"Last night was fun," said Ginny sleepily, still rubbing her eyes. "We should do it again some time."

They all nodded.

"How did everyone sleep?" Neville asked, yawning loudly.

"I would have slept a lot better had there not been all the snoring," Hermione complained. She still looked quite tired.

"It does take some getting used to," Ginny admitted, having grown up with all of her brothers, who were notoriously loud snorers.

"At least the cushioning charms we cast on the sleeping bags last night held up until morning," said Draco. "Otherwise I would have never been able to tolerate sleeping on the floor."

Harry smirked as he remembered Draco's reluctance last night, insisting that it just didn't make sense to sleep on the floor when there were perfectly comfortable beds to sleep in upstairs.

"I'm hungry," said Ron suddenly.

"You're always hungry," Hermione replied as if on cue. It had become something of a game with them, their little banter between one another.

"You just woke up, how can you be hungry already?" Neville asked and Ron shrugged.

An audible growl from Ron's stomach confirmed his need for sustenance, and they all laughed at him.

"I'm hungry too," said Draco. "How about we find something to eat in the kitchen?"

"Sounds good," Harry replied, feeling his own rumble of hunger in his stomach now.

They all nodded and padded bare footed downstairs, still clad in their pajamas, leaving behind the mess of sleeping bags and pillows in the living room. A wonderful aroma reached their noses as soon as they pushed open the kitchen door.

"Morning dears," a cheery voice called to them.

Harry could see that Mrs. Weasley was standing by the stove already anticipating the gang of hungry teenagers this morning. Her husband had undoubtedly already left for work this morning, and the house free of any other Order Members for once. All in all, it was kind of peaceful.

"Morning mum," said Ron. "What's for breakfast?"

"Well, I put some rashers of bacon on and there are eggs and toast. There's a pitcher of pumpkin juice and some glasses on the table, so you can help yourselves. Would anyone like something else?" she asked.

"Some tea would be nice," said Draco. Harry watched as his boyfriend hesitated at his own request before adding, "But I'll get it, Molly."

"Nonsense! Don't you trouble yourself. I'll get it," she said lovingly, patting him on the back to go sit down.

"Thanks," Draco mumbled, finding a seat beside his boyfriend.

Harry could see from the look in his eyes that Draco absolutely adored Mrs. Weasley. They had grown quite close over the past two summers and Harry knew that the changes in Draco were largely due the love this caring woman had bestowed upon him.

Draco gratefully took the steaming mug Mrs. Weasley had set before him and again said, "Thanks." She smiled at him in response.

Harry knew how important it was to Draco that she truly understood his appreciation for everything she did for him. The row he had had with Ron earlier this summer about his so called "lack of appreciation" had affected him more than Draco was willing to let on. Ron had accused him of expecting be waited on and for not showing more gratitude for all the sacrifices that the Weasleys had made for him. Ron hadn't really meant any of what he had said to Draco that day. Ron was just jealous of all the time his best mate spent with Draco and felt like he was intruding on Ron's family as well. As a result, Draco went out of his way sometimes to display his graciousness to the Weasley matriarch.

"Has anyone seen Errol?" Mrs. Weasley asked curiously, as she set a plate of food before each of them. "I could have sworn that he was on his perch yesterday afternoon. I went to send a letter off to a friend of mind and he's no where to be seen."

"No, not since yesterday," said Ron, piling the food onto his plate. "Blasted owl probably went off hunting and died from the sheer effort."

"Now don't you start! I know Errol is a bit old… and a tad unreliable… but he means well," Mrs. Weasley retorted. "I'm sure he'll find his way back."

Ron rolled his eyes to as if to say, "_Yeah, right_."

"You could always use Pig," said Ginny.

Her mother cringed at the idea, knowing what a handful the little bird could be at times. "Perhaps I'll just wait until Errol returns…" she replied.

Harry would have offered Mrs. Weasley to use Hedwig, but she had been left behind to hunt in the woods surrounding the cabin.

Mrs. Weasley soon finished the breakfast and they ate the delicious spread leisurely, relishing each bite. They chatted quietly with one another discussing what they were going to do later that day.

It was during this blessed moment of peace the first beginnings of chaos began to take hold. Harry suddenly became aware that something had changed around him. It began as merely a nagging feeling, and it happened so gradually that it took a while for his brain to register what exactly was happening. The only way Harry could describe what he was feeling would be to say that it felt as though something was wrong. He began to feel numb and out of sorts. But it was so hard to distinguish at first that he couldn't be certain what he was exactly feeling. All he knew was something wasn't right.

He looked about the table where his friends were seated around him, eating their breakfast and chatting quietly. Everything appeared to be normal and that's what puzzled him. Something was wrong and no one else seemed to have noticed at all.

Harry then saw out of the corner of his eye that Draco was tapping on his arm to get his attention. Harry looked down to where Draco was touching him, but found that he couldn't feel anything. Was this a dream? People can't feel things in a dream, right? That's why people always say, "_Pinch me_," when they wanted to be certain that they were only dreaming. Maybe he had never woken up at all this morning. Maybe this was all just some weird dream.

He looked at Draco strangely, who was apparently asking him a question. Harry could see his boyfriend's mouth moving, but he could not hear a word that Draco was saying. Had he suddenly gone deaf? Or was this still a dream?

Draco's face shifted out of focus, and Harry started having trouble seeing as well. He felt as though he was floating underwater, and his consciousness felt as the though it was being pushed into the back of his mind. A dull ache then began to throb in his forehead and a sudden realization of what was happening overcame him. Panic swelled in his chest. He wasn't ready to do this again!

"No!" he shouted, jumping up from the table and stumbling backwards.

It had come on so gradually this time that Harry had not realized that Voldemort was trying to sift through his mind for information almost before it was too late. Voldemort had obviously had tried a more subtle approach to this invasion of the Harry's mind, having found that the direct approach had always been met with resistance.

Taking large gulping breaths of air to calm himself, Harry rubbed at his temples to quell the searing pain that was growing in his head and quickly began Occlumency. Voldemort knew that Harry was aware of his presence now and was striking with full force.

The blurry faces of his friends flashed before Harry's eyes, desperately trying to understand what was wrong with their friend. They had apparently all jumped out of their seats when he did, concerned for him. He squeezed his eyes shut and blindly stumbled past their reaching arms, numbly twisting out of their grasp. He needed to be alone. He couldn't afford any distractions. He felt around the room with one of his hands stretched out in front of him until he reached the corner of the kitchen, and sank down into the coolness of the stone structure intent on blocking out Voldemort's attack.

He continued to take long, deep breaths, focusing on blocking out the pain. He felt a warm hand in his own, only mildly aware of the sensation, and knew that Draco had sat down by his side. His mere presence and support gave Harry strength, and he mustered up the courage to push Voldemort out once and for all. There was no way he was going to allow himself to endure another half hour long attack by that sadistic monster.

With every drop of energy Harry could muster he visualized himself floating up through the kitchen into the drawing room above, and then up through each of the floors of the house and out into the sky. He imagined flying high above all of the houses, through the clouds, and above forests of trees until he had reached the shores of Silver Lake, where his home resided. He thought about floating down past the tall pines that stood guard around the lake and sank down onto a grassy bank, focusing on how the image of the setting sun made the waters of the lake glitter and sparkle. He focused all of his energy onto this one image, pretending that he could hear the sounds of the forest around him, slowly breathing deeply in and out. He stayed with that image, for what seemed like an eternity, no longer even aware that Draco was holding his hand, or whispering reassuring words in his ear.

After a quarter of an hour, Harry eventually felt Voldemort rip his presence from Harry's mind, realizing that this attack was futile. He gasped aloud at the violent departure, and the sighed in relief. And slowly, ever so slowly, the pain in his head resided. His hearing returned and he could hear the clamor of worried voices in the kitchen. Although his head still hurt, he took a deep breath and peeked an eye open through the fringe of his dark messy hair.

"Harry?" Draco asked, his pale face looking more worried than ever. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding numbly. "I think so."

"Was it another attack?" Draco asked, standing up while still holding his hand.

"Yeah. It was weird this time… didn't even realize what was happening at first. But I think I managed to block him completely. Nothing got through to me, and I don't think he saw anything," Harry replied, as he used Draco's hand to pull himself to his feet.

He was dizzy at first and Draco had to steady him, but when his vision had cleared he noticed the room full of worried faces staring at him anxiously. He noticed one face in particular that was staring at him with concern that had not been there before.

"Sirius?"

"Hey kiddo," Sirius said, stepping forward now. He handed Harry a potion and asked, "How's your head?"

Harry downed the potion, knowing that it was probably for the headache he always had after a mental attack. "Not too bad this time. I think I've got this Occlumency thing down now," he replied, proud of himself for finally accomplishing this task. He wondered what Snape would say.

"I'm glad to hear that. We've been worried," Sirius replied.

"When did you get here?"

"A short while ago," he replied. "Hermione fire called me when they figured out what was happening."

"We've already alerted Dumbledore that Voldemort was attacking you, and he's at Hogwarts with some of the other Order Members waiting to hear if you saw anything," said Mrs. Weasley, wringing one of her dish towels in her hands anxiously.

"No," he said guiltily. "Sorry."

Sirius came forward and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Don't be sorry, we don't want you to see anything that merciless bastard says or does."

"But-" Harry began, hating that he couldn't be more helpful.

"No buts! We've been over this before. You risk being possessed every time he tries to invade your mind. Your safety far outweighs anything you might see or hear. Got it?"

"Got it…" Harry mumbled. It wasn't so much his own safety that worried Harry. It was the safety of everyone else around him that could get hurt if Harry allowed Voldemort to possess him.

"So what do we do now?" Ron asked.

"Nothing," said Sirius honestly.

"Nothing?" asked Harry. "How can we do nothing? We know something is going on or about to happen."

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, and we don't know that may be. So in the mean time… we wait, like we always do. Several members of the Order has already been put on standby and there are others already out in the field monitoring Wizard and Muggle villages in and around London searching for possible Death Eater threats. At least we know there has been somewhat of a pattern, thanks to your research."

"Now we just need to figure out what Voldemort is looking for…" said Ginny. "Do you think it's us? We are in the proximity of that pattern. Are you sure we're safe here?"

Sirius nodded. "Of course. This house is unplottable and protected by a Fidelius Charm. Even if Voldemort was looking for the Order's headquarters, he would never be able to find it unless the Secret Keeper gave the location. And I don't see Dumbledore ever doing such a thing."

"Are you sure you are alright, dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked Harry. "You are still looking a bit peckish…perhaps I can get you something to eat…"

"I fine, Mrs. Weasley, but thanks," said Harry. "And besides… I just ate."

Mrs. Weasley smiled at him softly and pulled him into a hug. "I hate that you have to go through such things."

"Me too…" Draco said beside him. "We all do…"

Neville nodded. "That was awful, Harry. I had no idea…"

"It's okay," Harry replied, hoping to reassure his friend.

There was an awkward silence in the room, one in which no one seemed to be able to break. Everyone felt so completely lost and helpless in this war, so unsure of what was happening around them but desperately wishing there would be some kind of resolution that didn't end with the deaths of their loved ones.

Sensing that no one else knew how to break the silence, Mrs. Weasley said "Why don't you all go clean up the mess you made in the living room and I'll take care of things down here…"

They all nodded glumly, their mood dampened. "Sure, Mum…" said Ginny, starting up the stairs. The rest of the gang followed her up, but Harry lingered a moment longer.

"Thanks for coming," he said to his godfather. It meant a lot that Sirius had come to him in his time of need.

"No problem, kiddo," Sirius replied, reaching out to tousle Harry's already messy hair.

"Are you sticking around?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Might as well until Remus comes home. Why don't you help your friends and we'll talk a bit later? Okay?"

"Sure," said Harry, heading upstairs. He could hear Mrs. Weasley offering Sirius some breakfast on his way up.

When he entered the living room, his friends were busy tidying up their mess. Sleeping bags and pillows covered nearly every square inch of the floor. Harry and Neville's overnight bags had been tossed against one wall. Pizza boxes, empty cups, and used napkins and plates covered the table. The couch and arm chairs had been pushed aside to make more room and nearly everything was out of its place. It wasn't a pretty sight to say the least. Harry quickly joined in the clean up, grateful for the distraction.

It didn't take too long, especially when they could use magic. When they were nearly done, Harry saw Ron ducking his head under the furniture searching for something. "What are you looking for?" he asked.

"Where did the beach ball go?" Ron responded, glancing about the room with is hands on his hips, looking very much like his mother in that moment.

Ginny shrugged. "It was here last night. It's gotta be somewhere."

"Not that thing again," Hermione complained.

Ron rolled his eyes at his girlfriend, knowing how much she hated their raucous game. "Mum must have taken it or something. Maybe Snape told her about our little incident with him yesterday."

"You mean _your_ little incident," Draco pointed out. "Serves you right too."

Ron jutted his chin out at Draco mockingly and then went about replacing the decorative pillows on the furniture.

"Well, I'm going to go upstairs to shower," Hermione announced, grabbing her sleeping bag and pillow and tucking them under her arms. "I'll be down in a few."

"I'm going to go up too. I want to shower after Hermione," said Ginny, grabbing her things. "You coming, Neville?"

Neville nervously looked to Ron and shook his head. "Uh… I don't think so… somehow I don't think your Mum would appreciate me being alone with you in your room… or your brother for that matter."

"Got that right!" said Ron, folding his arms over his chest and trying to look intimidating.

"Oh, it's not like we haven't… nevermind!" Ginny said quickly before leaving the room and heading upstairs.

Harry took a seat on one of the couches and folded his arms over his chest, still thinking about what had happened earlier. It had been weighing on his mind since the mental attack had occurred and he couldn't seem to think of anything else. What was Voldemort looking for in his mind? When would the next attack happen? Was anyone really safe now?

Draco sat down beside him. "You alright?" he asked. His face looked pinched with worry.

"Fine," said Harry dismissively. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well for one, your rubbing at your arms," Draco began, looking down at Harry's reddened arms.

"What?" he asked, unaware that he had been doing such a thing. Harry quickly glanced down and noticed that he had been rubbing anxiously at his arms. He was wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants still, and although a glamour hid the scars he had from cutting, it somehow hadn't blocked the redness that had began to appear from the vigorous rubbing. If Draco hadn't stopped him, he might have started scratching himself as well, which really scared Harry. He thought he had overcome all of this finally.

Draco gently took Harry's hand in his own to prevent him from doing any further damage. "And for another, you've been quiet all morning…"

"Sorry, it's just-"

Draco nodded. "I know."

"I just can't stop thinking about it all. I feel like I should be doing something!" Harry said angrily, trying to gesture while his hands were still in Draco's own. "I feel useless."

"I feel the same way," Ron responded, having listened in on Harry and Draco's conversation.

Neville nodded. "Me too."

"But you don't understand-" Harry began, staring up at his two friends who were now standing over them.

Ron held his hand out to stop him. "Listen, I may not have the link you do to Voldemort, but my entire family is in the Order. I've already lost a cousin and his family to this war. And Sirius last year," he said, "though I suppose that doesn't count now. How long will it be before this war starts hitting closer to home? I'm worried too… we all are."

A small part of Harry felt he had the right to worry a little more than anyone else, considering the prophecy implicated that it was him that would have to finally take Voldemort out. But deep down he knew that this war affected everyone, and many lives will be lost trying to do what was right regardless of what some dumb prophecy said about the final outcome.

"I suppose you're right," Harry finally responded, taking his hands back from Draco and folding his arms across his chest. "It's just…I feel like all we do is wait…wait for something to happen."

"Don't worry, you won't have to wait long," Ron said, forcing a smile. "You're Harry Potter. You don't have to go looking for trouble. Trouble finds you, right?"

"Gee, thanks Ron. I feel so much better now," Harry retorted, clearly not amused by his friend's humor

"That's what I'm afraid of…" Draco whispered under his breath.

"Why don't we do something to take our mind off all this? At least until the girls come down and we can finally shower and get out of our pajamas," Neville suggested.

"Like what?" Ron asked.

Neville shrugged, "I don't know…"

"We duel…" Harry said, standing up and retrieving his wand from his waistband.

"Huh?" said Ron.

"You heard the man, we duel!" Draco said, with a smirk on his face as he grabbed his own wand. "I call Harry!"

"Great!" said Ron. "I get Neville."

"Hey!"

"Let's move into the drawing room. There's more room in there," said Harry, leading the way.

* * *

The foursome entered the room and had no sooner taken their usual defensive positions for their mock duel when Harry suddenly let out a gasp. 

"What is it?" Draco asked, as he watched his boyfriend reach inside of his shirt and yank out the silver dragon pendant that he always wore around his neck.

"It's warm… and getting warmer. Danger is coming," Harry whispered.

They were all aware of the magical properties the pendant possessed; it was charmed to grow warm when danger was near. Draco had given it to Harry for his birthday last summer, and it hadn't failed to accurately warn them of danger yet.

"I thought we were protected here," said Neville, nervously.

"We're supposed to be, but the pendant wouldn't get hot like that unless we were in real trouble," explained Draco, his hands beginning to sweat in anticipation of something about to happen. He tightened his grip on his wand. "There must be Death Eaters coming. What else could it be?"

"But how did they find us?" asked Harry.

Draco shook his head, trying to think quickly. "I don't know… maybe by searching for a magical signature of some kind… who knows!"

"Shite! What do we do?" said Ron.

"Go to Hogwarts, I guess," said Harry, looking rather calm for someone who could possibly be entering a battle. "We'll be safe there."

"We'll have to Floo, we can't Apparate to the grounds directly there," Draco reminded them. "Besides, even if we could its farther than any one of us have ever Apparated. We need to get to the others quickly."

"I think Mum's still in the kitchen," said Ron, whispering quietly.

"So is Sirius," Harry added.

"Ginny and Hermione are upstairs," said Neville, growing alarmed. "We need to get them."

"Wait, so is my mother..." said Draco. This realization suddenly filled him with dread. "She can't leave the house! What am I going to do? I can't let them find her, Harry. They did unspeakable things to her! She barely escaped last time…"

"Maybe we can get the tether off…" Harry suggested.

Draco could feel the growing panic beginning to overcome him. "We don't have time! Besides, we don't know the spell. I don't think a simple _Finite Incantatem_ is going to work!"

Draco watched as Harry gasped again and dropped the pendant he was still holding in his hands. It was glowing red hot now. "They're here," he said, his green eyes growing wide in fear.

There was a sudden whirling noise coming from the foyer and the sound of several pair of boots hitting the hardwood floor. The four of them silently moved into a corner of the room where they wouldn't be seen from the hallway.

"P-portkey?" Neville whispered, looking absolutely terrified. "But how?"

Draco shrugged, not sure how to answer him and knowing that it wasn't really important.

"What do we do?" Ron whispered, looking to Harry. "The others don't know what's happening."

Harry motioned them all to come closer and they leaned their heads together. He then whispered quickly. "When I say _go_ I want you Ron to Apparate upstairs and get the girls. Apparate them to the basement and get them through the Floo. Neville you Apparate straight to the basement and alert Sirius and Mrs. Weasley, we'll need their help. Draco you need to Apparate to your mother… and… and I don't know yet… we'll figure that out when the time comes… just get her to the basement and maybe Sirius will know what to do. If anything goes wrong, forget the plan and just Apparate to Diagon Alley or something… then get to Hogwarts!"

_"Where are we? Are you sure this is the correct location?"_ asked a loud voice from the hallway.

Ron and Neville exchanged a worried glance and nodded reluctantly, both knowing that it was the only way. Ron was far more advanced at Apparition and would stand a better chance at a side-along with his sister, who hadn't learned yet, than Neville. Hermione would be able to Apparate herself down to the basement once she was alerted to the danger.

"What are you going to do, Harry?" Draco whispered worriedly, knowing that they only had but a few seconds until they were located. "They'll know we were here as soon as they hear us all Apparate. There's no way to hide it."

Harry nodded, knowing that a silencing charm wouldn't cover the audible crack that occurs whenever a witch or wizard Apparates. The reverberation from the sound alone was enough to cause the walls of the old to shake slightly. And not only would the Death Eaters hear them Disapparate, but they would also hear Ron and Draco Apparate upstairs. "I'm going to distract them. Hold them off- or try to, at least- until the others have gotten to safety…" he said quickly, "Don't worry about me. I'll Apparate out when it feels right."

_"This is it… I can't believe it worked…"_ screeched a female Death Eater's voice. "_Spread out and search the house!"_

"Harry, no!" said Draco.

"There's no other way," said Harry, smiling at Draco sadly. "It'll be okay… ready… _GO_!"

Neville and Ron both disappeared with an audible crack, leaving Draco still standing by his side.

"Why didn't you-" Harry began.

Draco covered his mouth with his hand and pushed him against the wall for cover, hearing one of the Death Eaters come near. He whispered in his boyfriend's ear, "I would never leave you!"

Harry smiled and grabbed for Draco's hand, and they both braced themselves for the inevitable. They could hear two pairs of footsteps coming towards them. Just as the pair rounded the corner of the threshold, Harry raised his wand and stunned the nearest Death Eater, causing him to crash to the ground. The Death Eater beside him sent a curse their way, which Draco and Harry were able to dodge.

"Over here!" the Death Eater shouted to the others, taking aim once more. But he was too slow.

"_STUPEFY_!," Draco shouted, taking the second man down.

The sounds of their friends Apparating upstairs were muffled by the several pairs of boots running from all over the house to their location.

"I know you wanted to duel, but don't you think we should Apparate now?" Draco asked.

"No, the others may need more time to Floo out," said Harry, looking pensive. "Quick, come here! I have an idea."

Draco followed his boyfriend's orders and soon felt a disillusionment charm being cast over his head. He smiled at Harry's brilliance and did the same to him. They quickly split up across the room, moving slowly. Although the charm made them mostly invisible, in the right light another person could make out the body lines of the person wishing to remain unnoticed.

Six Death Eaters soon appeared in the doorway of the drawing room, noticing the other two that had fallen. "There's no one here," one of them commented. "Must have already left."

"Oh, they're here…" said the same female voice they heard earlier. "I can feel it. Zabini, take Nott and search upstairs again. There may still be others."

Draco felt his heart sink at the name Zabini, Blaise's father. His friend had confessed long ago that although his family had been supporters of the Dark Lord, they had never wished to join his ranks. They had already lost their home this summer to an attack and Zabini had been pressured to take the dark mark this year. Draco never would have thought that the man would have finally caved in, knowing what it would mean for his family. Severus had tried to warn Draco that such a thing might occur if it meant keeping his family safe. It looked like his godfather was right after all.

The two Death Eaters nodded at the order and took off upstairs. The four left behind stepped over their fallen comrades, not bothering to Enervate them, and began searching the room. Draco knew that he and Harry would have to time their attack perfectly or risked being capture. It was two against four; not great odds!

"Come out, come out, wherever you are…" said a sickly sweet voice. "Bella wants to play…"

Draco knew from Harry that this woman, Bellatrix Lestrange, his very own aunt, was the one that had been responsible for Sirius's "death." Although Harry had brought his godfather back to life this past year, the event at the Department of Mysteries had still left its mark on Harry's heart. He could practically feel Harry itching across the room to take a swipe at her, but knew that his boyfriend would wait to strike until it was necessary.

Draco pressed himself up against the wall, holding his wand tightly, and watched as the four black robed Death Eaters stalked around the room searching for their prey. Their white masks hid their faces, betraying them as the true cowards that they were. He never did understand the philosophy. If what they believed in was truly "right," then why did they have the need to hide their faces? Draco could not believe he had ever allowed himself to believe the propaganda that his father had tried to instill him.

"There's nothing-" the Death Eater closest to him began again.

"Shh… I can hear someone breathing…" Bellatrix whispered twisting her head, this way and that, trying to pick up on something that apparently only she could hear.

There was a loud bang upstairs followed by some muffled sounds. Bellatrix paused in her search as she listened to the sudden commotion, but after that it was mostly quiet after that. Draco prayed whatever had happened upstairs that his friends hadn't been discovered and had Apparated away in time.

Draco held his breath and Bellatrix took a step toward him. He tried to carefully maneuver sideways away from her, but managed instead to cause the curtain beside him to move. The witch twisted her face into a satisfied grin and attacked. _"CRUCIO!" _she shouted.

Draco luckily dodged the curse, but managed to bump into a side table alerting the others to where he had moved. Knowing that he would be instantly attacked, Draco threw up the strongest blocking charm he could think of, effectively holding off three spells that had been aimed at him. But he knew he couldn't hold it long. Just as his protective shield began to waver his angel came to his rescue.

From across the room, Harry quickly threw two stunning hexes at two of the Death Eaters, effectively knocking both of them out. The distraction afforded Draco the opportunity to quietly move away from the other Death Eater, who had stopped using spell fire and had taken to reaching out blindly trying to grasp for him. He would need room in order to use his wand against his enemy properly. Close range spells were difficult because of the necessary wand waving.

Unfortunately Harry had given away his location and rendered himself vulnerable to Bellatrix's attack. A bright purple light shot from her wand, striking Harry in what appeared to be his chest, before he could react. The curse illuminated his invisible form and sent him flying backwards into the wall. There was a loud thud and one of the paintings that adorned the wall fell to the ground beside Harry.

Draco froze when he realized what had happened, unsure of what he should do next. He wanted to see if Harry was okay, but he needed to deal with Bellatrix and the other Death Eater first. If he was able to stun one of them, would he have time to stun the other before they sent out a curse of their own at him?

He calculated his next move while he watched his aunt. Bellatrix crossed the room to where she expected Harry to have fallen and said, _"FINITE INCANTATEM."_

Harry's still form appeared on the floor, his body half slumped against the wall. "Aw… wittle potty got huwt. Does wittle baby need his mama?" Bellatrix asked, in a babyish voice. "Too bad your mama is dead! But at least she won't be able to hear you scream. C_RUCIO!"_

Harry's eyes flew open as a screamed escaped him, revealing the sheer pain he was undergoing right now.

As soon as the curse left Bellatrix's lips, Draco yelled, "_STUPEFY_!" and shot a stream of red light from his wand in his aunt's direction, knocking her to the ground and ending the unforgivable torture she was putting Harry under. Thankfully it had lasted only a few seconds.

Draco hadn't even thought about what he was doing, he just reacted; momentarily forgetting about the other Death Eater in the room.

Before Draco could reach Harry, a thick throaty voice yelled, "_INCARCEROUS_!" He felt ropes envelope his body, pinning his arms to his side and his legs together. He was completely immobile. He nearly cried allowed when the Death Eater advanced upon him. The large man ended the disillusionment charm and ripped Draco's wand from his hand.

"Such inexperience!" the man snorted at Draco, before stalking towards Harry.

Harry was still recovering from the Cruciatus Curse and didn't have time to fire off a hex as he stood up, before the Death Eater had cast a disarming spell at him. It took only a moment before Harry was put in a body bind as well.

Soon the five Death Eaters who had been stunned were reawakened. Draco had never been more terrified in his life. Harry and his friends had been through these kinds of situations before, but he was completely clueless as to what he should do. The battle in Hogsmeade had not prepared him any better than before. The Death Eater was right, he was inexperienced despite all the training they had this summer under Sirius and Remus's tutelage. He struggled against the ropes around his body, but found that he couldn't move an inch. Instead he held Harry in his gaze, hoping that the young man he had come to love wouldn't come to anymore harm. He desperately tried to figure out what they should do next, but he was at a loss.

_"Where the hell were the others? Hadn't Neville told Molly and Sirius about the situation yet? Shouldn't help have arrived by now?"_ Draco wondered.

"Well, well, well… what do we have here," said one of the Death Eaters, circling around Draco. He reached out and tugged a lock of his blonde hair, before grabbing Draco's face in his bruising grip. "Lucius's son… I wonder if your father knows of your treachery. He wouldn't hesitate to kill his own kin for such an offense!"

Draco didn't say a word. He knew he didn't have to. He had revealed his loyalty to the light side last Halloween when he battled against Voldemort and saved Harry's life. It was a miracle his father hadn't killed him then. He tried to jerk his face out of the painful grasp, but ended up earning himself a backhand across the face. Draco would have fallen over had he not been yanked back up by his ropes.

"You're lucky Lucius's still stuck in Azkaban," another Death Eater growled in his ear. "I'd love to watch him torture you. Perhaps I'll do it myself."

A shiver went down Draco's spine as he began to realize as to what they had gotten themselves into. He had witnessed some of the torture sessions at the Death Eater meetings his father had forced him to attend before his fifth year.

Across the room he could see Bellatrix and a few of the other Death Eaters were toying with Harry, and Draco had never felt more helpless. They were alternately shocking his love with mild charges from their wands, trying to get a rise out of him. Bellatrix, meanwhile, was standing behind him and stroking Harry's neck and shoulders in mock reassurance. The way she touched and caressed him was a twisted mixture of almost maternal care and seduction; it sickened Draco that she was touching Harry like that. He had been through enough in his short life. He didn't deserve to be assaulted like this.

"Leave him alone!" Draco yelled, struggling once more.

The Death Eaters ignored him and continued to play, causing Harry jerk every time he received a shock… or was touched for that matter.

"Aw... does that huwt little baby? Just tell us where the others are! Then I'll make them stop," she said, stroking Harry's hair almost affectionately.

"Never!" Harry shouted, his face glistening with sheen of sweat. He tried to jerk his head away from her, but she grabbed him by the chin, twisting his neck and forcing him to look at her.

"This is the Order's Headquarters, where are the others?" she asked again, jabbing her wand into Harry's throat.

"I'd never tell you," he replied, swallowing thickly.

Sounds of spell fire, running, doors slamming, and furniture being over turned above them filled the air. Harry and Draco shared a worried glance for their friends realizing now that they hadn't been enough of a distraction.

"Perhaps if I hurt your friend over here then…" she said nodding in Draco's direction.

"No, don't!" Harry yelled over the din of noises that were coming from upstairs.

Bellatrix smiled in satisfaction knowing she'd finally gotten a reaction out of him. Turning swiftly so that her black robes whirled about her she stalked toward Draco and raised her wand. "_CRUCIO_!"

Unable to stop himself from falling, Draco's body fell to the ground with a jerk as his aunt began to mercilessly torture him. It was pain unlike Draco had ever known. It was so much worse than when his father had cursed him. His entire body was on fire and if felt that he was being ripped and torn apart. He was dimly aware that he was even screaming. The pain seemed to last for an endless amount of time. Just when Draco thought that he couldn't take it anymore, the torture stopped. He breathed heavily, fighting off the tremors that were still racking his body. He felt as if he were in a fog, only dimly aware of what was happening around him.

"Drag those two into the hall and spread out. Someone go on up and see what's taking Nott and Zabini so long," said Bellatrix, her boots clicking on the hardwood floor as she past him. "They should have apprehended whoever is up there by now."

Draco peeked an eye open and was surprised to see a mask of one of the Death Eaters so close to his face. He went to jerk away, but a hand reached out grabbed him by his hair and began dragging him out of the drawing room into the hallway. It felt as if his scalp was on fire, but he desperately tried not to cry out. He was then deposited unceremoniously faced down onto the hall floor in foyer. He soon felt Harry thrown down beside him.

"You okay?" Harry whispered.

Before Draco could respond a Death Eater yelled, "No talking!" and kicked Harry in the side.

Coming out of his fog finally, Draco glanced around. He tried to take in his surroundings to determine exactly how they were going to get out of this mess. From what he could see from his position on the floor, Bellatrix and two Death Eaters were keeping watch over them. If there were only eight, as Draco suspected, that meant there were five others patrolling the house. At least two were upstairs now, that meant there were three others. Where could they be?

Sounds of battle finally reached his ears and Draco realized that the sounds were coming from not only upstairs, but downstairs in the kitchen as well. That explained where the other Death Eaters had disappeared to. Had all hope been lost?

"Bella, this is taking too long," said one of the Death Eaters. "We should just Apparate back to the Dark Lord with our prisoners."

Bellatrix raised her wand, silencing the other Death Eater instantly. "Shut up, it's not time yet. I will not disappoint my lord for our haste, or abandon the very person who led us here. Besides who knows what's hiding in this old house… ah, here we are…"

"No," Harry moaned sadly beside him, struggling against the bonds holding him.

Draco saw Harry looking up the stairs and followed his gazed wondering what had alarmed him so. Two Death Eaters were coming down, each holding onto one of the girls. The limp body of Ron Weasley was floating behind them. All three of their friends looked pretty banged up.

Both girls were crying openly, but were not resisting their captors. The Death Eaters had undoubtedly already taken their wands. Hermione looked particularly distraught. Her hair was still soaking wet from her shower and she was desperately trying to cover her body with the pink terrycloth bathrobe she was wearing, clutching it closer to her otherwise naked body.

"You found the others. Was there anyone else upstairs?" asked Bellatrix, as the Death Eater that had been holding Ginny pushed her to the ground besides Harry. He then levitated Ron beside them. Their red haired friend moaned in pain, but otherwise remained unconscious.

"Crabbe is still securing the second floor," he responded.

The other Death Eater was fingering one of Hermione's damp curls and trying to look down her robe. "I want to play with this one," he said seductively. Hermione struggled in his grasp and let out a sob. Draco had heard stories about Nott's heinous deeds and wondered if this robed man was him. He cringed at the thought of what he might do to Hermione, knowing she might never recover.

Bellatrix let out a frustrated sigh and grabbed Hermione and pushed her to the ground with the others. "You can play later. Right now I need you to see what the others have gotten up to downstairs."

"You never let me have any fun," the Death Eater groaned, stalking past them and heading down towards the kitchen where sounds of battle were still taking place. Did that mean they were fighting Sirius and Molly? And where was Neville in all of this?

"Are you alright, Hermione?" Harry asked, not caring what the Death Eaters thought. "What happened to Ron?"

"I'm sorry, Harry," Hermione moaned pitifully. "It's all my fault. I left my wand in my room when I showered. We couldn't get back there in time. Ron didn't think he could-"

Bellatrix pointed her wand Hermione and said, "Stop your whining or I will give you something to whine about!"

Hermione let out a whimper, but otherwise remained silent. Draco glanced behind him and saw Hermione trying to pull herself together, but the tears wouldn't stop flowing down her cheeks. She and Ginny were both holding to Ron's still form protectively.

Draco wasn't sure what Ron's condition was and hated to think what would happen to any of them once they were taken from here. Before he could continue to ponder any of their fates any further, a voice called down to the foyer from upstairs.

"Look who I finally found," said a Death Eater, who had suddenly appeared at the head of the stairs, his hands tightly gripping Narcissa's right arm. Draco assumed that this was Vincent's father. They certainly resembled each other a lot in shape.

"Ah, my long lost sister… there you are…" said Bellatrix, pulling off her Death Eaters mask to greet her sister. "Cissy, come join us."

Crabbe gave his mother a nudge, and she started down the stairs. To anyone else she would look like the picture of togetherness, still donning the elegant robe she had borrowed from her late aunt and wearing her hair done up in a delicate coif. Even her features had been schooled into a look of indifference. But Draco knew better. Her pale blue eyes betrayed everything. She was absolutely terrified, as well as she should be. She was about to be handed back into her captors, the very captors that had tortured her and probably sexually assaulted her.

Draco watched wordlessly from his position on the floor, his heart thrumming inside of his chest madly. This situation could not possibly get any worse. Not only had he managed to get Harry captured, but now his own mother as well. Draco tried to catch her eye to show that she didn't have to be afraid, that he would try to protect her somehow- though he honestly didn't know how- but she refused to meet his gaze.

When Narcissa reached the bottom of the stairs, one of the Death Eaters leaned forward and said, "Hello, my sweet…"

His mother visibly recoiled in disgust and maneuvered out the way. She went directly to Bellatrix, who squealed with excitement and pulled her sister into a hug. "I'm so glad to see you, again. You look so much better than I last saw you."

"When you last saw me I was being held prisoner in a dungeon, no thanks to you," Narcissa said bitterly.

"Yes, well it never pays to go against the Dark Lord, now does it?" Bellatrix responded with a sneer. She traced a long finger along the side of her sister's face and then gave it a gentle pat. "But none of that matters now; you have more than paid for your freedom."

Draco looked to Harry, who gave him a bewildered expression, and then back to his mother, wondering exactly what was going on.

"It worked then?" Narcissa asked, looking to the beach ball that now lay in the center of the room. " The Dark Lord was pleased?"

Draco glanced at it remembering now that it had been missing this morning. He also remembered and his mysterious encounter with his mother at the open window last night and began to put two and two together.

"The portkey you sent us was easily reactivated, though the Dark Lord would have preferred some kind of confirmation that Potter was here or that this was really the Order's headquarters so that he could come himself. Though he tried through some other means, he decided to wait to see what we found," Bellatrix replied, giving Harry a scathing look. "No matter. We'll bring Potter and the others to him and then we'll have some fun."

Draco felt even worse now if that was possible, imagining all the awful things that Voldemort would do to Harry and his friends once he got his hands on them. Anger grew in his chest like a vicious beast clawing to get out, knowing that his own mother had a hand in all of this.

He couldn't believe she had committed such a betrayal. She may have been held prisoner by the Order, but at least she had been safe from the ones that had caused her harm. And now she was working with the very people she had escaped, and for what?

"Mother what have you done?" Draco finally asked, his voice filled with accusation.

"Only what I had to, my dragon," she replied sadly, looking at him for the first time since she came downstairs. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears. "There was no other way."

"No other way? Do you realize what is going to happen!" he yelled, fighting against his bonds once more.

"Yes," she replied simply. Narcissa then raised her arm towards her sister. "If you would uphold your end of the bargain please…"

Bellatrix studied Narcissa for a few moments before pointing her wand at the magical tether on her sister's wrist. She spoke an incantation in some ancient language, and the dull metallic band that circled her wrist glowed bright yellow for a few moments before finally disappearing. Narcissa quickly jerked her hand away once it was gone and rubbed at the delicate skin that had become chafed and raw from the irritation. Bellatrix sighed and grabbed her sister's hand once more to heal the affliction. When the skin returned to normal, she then handed her sister her new wand.

"Thank you," Narcissa replied softly, fingering the wand lovingly. Draco imagined that it must have been months since she last held her original wand. "And I may have my leave?"

"Yes," said Bellatrix, "Though I don't understand it, the Dark Lord is grateful for your gift and has granted you safe passage back to Malfoy Manor. Your assets have been restored to you and you will not be troubled again."

_"Home? Assets?"_ thought Draco, _"But how can that be? Everything had been confiscated by the Ministry. Unless there really was someone on the inside as the Order suspected…"_

"Bella, can you assure me that I won't have to fear the Dark Lord's wrath any longer? He is no longer angered that I didn't join his ranks?"

"I swear it," her sister replied. "You have paid your debt."

Narcissa nodded. "I will be taking my son, of course," she added.

Bellatrix sneered at her. "Of course." She raised her wand and the ropes surrounding Draco's body disappeared.

He quickly jumped to his feet, anger swelling in his chest once more. "I'm not going anywhere with you!"

"Of course you are, my dragon," said Narcissa, extending her hand to him. "I did this for us. We can finally be free…"

"I never wanted any of this!" he screamed, knocking her hand away. He felt utterly mortified that his mother would ever sink so low as to sell out his friends in order to ensure her own safety.

Not knowing what else to do, Draco made a move to retrieve his wand from the Death Eater that had caught him earlier, but was quickly surrounded. Hands grabbed from all sides and forced him down to his knees as he struggled.

"Draco," Ginny gasped aloud, obviously afraid for him. Hermione was still crying beside her, looking utterly lost.

A wand was then jabbed his neck, finally subduing him. He looked to where Harry lay silently and caught his worried green eyes. He wished that he knew what to do. How was he going to get them all away safely?

"No, don't!" Narcissa cried. "Don't hurt him! He's my only son!"

"Your only son is a traitor!" Bellatrix spat. "Don't you see it?"

"He just doesn't understand…"

"Enough of this! Where are the others, they should be up by now…" Bellatrix asked while straining her neck to see down the hallway to the where the stairs led to the basement. As if on cue, one of the Death Eaters rose from below and stalked toward them. "Is the basement secure?" she asked.

He nodded, but did not reply.

"How many others?" she asked.

The Death Eater merely shrugged noncommittally.

Bellatrix walked up to him, "I asked how many others?"

Instead of obeying, the man stared at her curiously, but still did not reply.

"You will pay for your insolence. Answer me!" she screeched, raising her wand.

"Come on, you can do better than that!" the Death Eater finally said, closing the distance between them.

Looking mortified, Bellatrix fired off a spell at him, but the man had been ready with a shield. The spell bounced off uselessly. Before she or any of the others could react, the man grabbed her wand arm and twisted her around so that he had her pinned against him. He quickly disarmed her and then pointed his own wand at her throat and said, "Hello, cousin…"

Draco suddenly recognized the voice and began to struggle against his captors once more; surprised they hadn't put him in another body bind yet.

"What?" Bellatrix asked, fear growing in her voice, as she obviously recognized who was holding her now too.

"_STUPEFY_!" was the man's only reply.

Bellatrix slumped to the ground as Sirius tore off his mask and took a defenseive position towards the remaining four Death Eaters. The other three in the basement must have been subdued if Sirius was able to make it up here in disguise, but how long before Sirius succumbed to these men? He was out-numbered four to one!

"Sirius!" Harry shouted in relief.

"Hey kiddo! Be with you in a sec!" he said, throwing curses and dodging the spells that were thrown at him.

Draco felt himself thrown to the ground and he quickly rolled out of the way of a stray curse. Standing on his own to feet now, he crouched low over his friends, knowing that he wouldn't be able provide much cover for them. But he couldn't think of anything else to do until Sirius took down the man that had his wand. His mother was standing back, watching the fray, helping neither side.

He thought about trying to take his mother's wand from her, but he wouldn't put it past her to stun her own son. He didn't think it was worth the trouble and decided that it would be better if he could retrieve his own wand.

Draco watched in amazement as Sirius continued to throw curse after hex. He truly was incredible, but he could tell that the man was weakening. He had been slashed by a cutting curse and was losing what appeared to be a lot of blood. Draco wished there was something he could do to help without getting himself killed. A few curses flew in heir direction, but he and his friends managed to duck out of the way.

But then a miracle happened… well, not a miracle really… It was more of an accident, but it save them all.

A loud crash from upstairs occurred, startling them all greatly. It sounded as though half the house had been taken down. And then in a great blur a winged creature with a human rider, barely holding on for dear life, came to the rescue.

"Whoa! Slow down!" Neville yelled, as Buckbeak raced to the head of the stairs and took one giant leap down to the main floor. The huge grey beast took a protective stance in front of Draco and his friends and reared up on its hind legs, as Neville fell off his back and onto the floor. They were spared a moment as the Death Eaters dealt with the enormous creature rearing up before them. Sirius, meanwhile, took a breather and was leaning heavily against the wall looking ready to pass out from his injuries.

"Neville!" Ginny shouted to her boyfriend.

"Sorry! You know I am not good at Apparating," Neville said, crawling backwards away from the hippogriff. Once he was clear, Ginny wrapped her arms around his neck.

Harry asked, "But how-"

"When I Apparated, I found myself in the attic instead of the kitchen. Scared Buckbeak here and he knocked me out cold for a bit," he began to ramble, pointing to his knot on the forehead. "Seemed kind of apologetic when I woke up and let me ride him. Thought I'd come to rescue or something. Didn't know he was going to jump from the second floor, though…"

The Death Eaters took a few steps back fearfully as the great beast kicked its front legs wildly. Buckbeak actually managed to hurt a couple of the Death Eaters, cutting open one of their arms with the claws on his front legs and possibly breaking an elbow of another, before it finally came back down.

Suddenly, Harry was standing up beside Draco with his hand outstretched. His wand flew across the room and into his awaiting hand. A satisfied smirk crossed Harry's face.

"How did you-" Draco began, confused as to how Harry had finally escaped his magical bonds, but the wandless magic he had just performed explained it all. Apparently Harry had only needed a moment when the Death Eaters were distracted. He had performed wandless magic on a couple of occasions now, but had never learned to master it in their training. Draco couldn't believe he had finally done it willfully. And in just the nick of time.

"Stupefy!" Harry shouted, using Buckbeak as cover as he cast a spell at one of the Death Eaters. Unfortunately it was blocked and battle began once again.

The fact that Draco and his friends were still clad in their pajamas would have been an amusing sight, if the situation were not so dire. Hexes and curses were being thrown left and right and it was very scary scene to say the least. Brilliant colored lights were being shot back and forth, some finding their marks, but most being blocked. Bodies dove for cover, over turning furniture look for a better aim as the battle carried into the living room. Neville did his best to protect his friends by diverting spells and using blocks. Buckbeak even tried to assert his displeasure by squawking loudly and bobbing his head up and down and generally caused quite a raucous.

Unfortunately, as he was fighting Sirius was hit again by a cutting curse- this time in the leg- and he finally fell to the ground. He managed to put up a shield to protect himself, but no longer seemed able to duel. Draco just hoped that his shield continued to hold, though he wasn't sure Harry could do this by himself.

Seeing his fallen friend, Buckbeak squawked in irritation and spread his wings in an alarm postured, getting in the way of everyone's shot. One of the Death Eaters, finally having had enough with the monstrous creature, took the beast down with the killing curse.

"_AVADA KEDAVRA_!"

"Buckbeak!" Hermione and Harry both shouted, as they watched the poor creature fall in mid step and collide with a heavy thud against the side of the stairs, nearly missing Narcissa, who shrieked fearfully.

Draco watched as his mother looked down at the fallen beast and crept towards a safer location. He wasn't sure why she hadn't left yet. She couldn't possibly be waiting for him, was she?

Seeing that Harry needed help, Neville jumped up, stepped over the hippogriff, and joined the fight. His aim was surprisingly good and he got quite a few hexes in, but it wasn't enough. The odds still weren't in their favor.

A stray curse came towards Draco and Harry quickly dove in front of him, throwing up a block at the last second. "PROTEGO!"

"Harry!" Draco shouted over the commotion. "I need my wand."

Harry nodded and shouted, "_ACCIO_ wands!"

Four wands came flying towards Harry's outstretched hand and he caught them deftly out of the air. He quickly tossed them to his friends. It was too bad the Death Eaters held onto their own. Ginny and Draco stood beside Harry and Neville, while Hermione remained with Ron, desperately trying to awaken him.

It was now four against four. Four inexperienced teenagers up against the likes of four Death Eaters, who had no hesitation in killing any one of them.

They all fought as if their lives depended on it… and it did. Nothing really seemed to work, however. These Death Eaters just knew too many other curses and it was only a matter of time before they were all taken down one by one. They needed to end this situation and quickly.

Draco looked up at the gigantic wrought iron chandelier hanging overhead. It was enormous, probably hundreds of kilos. He knew if they timed this right that they could take them all out in one shot. "We need a group effort!" he shouted. He then pointed his wand at the chain that suspended the chandelier from the ceiling and shouted, "REDUCTO!"

His friends looked up, their eyes wide as they saw the massive chandelier being blasted from the ceiling and falling towards them. All at once they pointed their wands at it and shouted, "DETINEO!"

The chandelier repelled away from them harmlessly and was sent crashing towards the Death Eaters. Unable to get away in time, it collided with them, sending all four to the floor, pinned under its heavy weight. Upon closer inspection it appeared as if they were all unconscious, if not dead.

Frozen by the shock of it all Draco stared bewilderedly at the five fallen Death Eaters around them, waiting for one of them to move, not quite believing that this was really over. He kept his vigilant watch while the others assessed their situation.

"Is everyone alright?" asked Harry, glancing around.

"I don't know…" said Neville. He was holding onto Ginny tightly, and it looked like she was going into shock now that it was all over. "The girls have some injuries, but I'm not sure to what extent. And Ron…"

"We need to get Ron to a hospital," Hermione said sadly, looking a little more composed. "I don't know what spell he was hit with."

Harry nodded grimly. "Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be alright," he said, though by the tone of his voice he sounded as if he was reassuring himself of that fact more than Hermione. "He has to be…"

Draco watched numbly as Harry then walked over to where his godfather lay, barely conscious. "Sirius? Are you okay?"

"I'm hanging in there kid," he replied, his voice weak. "I wouldn't leave you again…"

"Lay still," said Harry, his voice tearful with worry.

"What?"

"Lay still," he said again, holding his wand over the wound on his chest as a soft glow began to form.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" Sirius asked, as he watched himself being healed.

Harry shrugged. "I kinda taught myself after third year, figuring it could come in handy some day…" He moved to begin healing the gash on Sirius's leg when a noise from the hallway grabbed their attention.

Draco instinctively took a defensive posture, keenly aware that something was not right. He then saw Molly coming up from the kitchen stairs, looking considerably worse for wear. Tears were falling down her face, and she was holding her arm against her abdomen as if pain.

"Molly, I told you stay and watch-" Sirius began, but stopped when he noticed who was standing behind her at one point.

Harry stood up quickly from his position beside Sirius and held his wand at the ready, muscles taught with anticipation.

"Mum!" Ginny yelled, making a move towards her mother, but Neville held her back.

"I didn't even realize he had awoken from the stunner until-" Molly began, trembling visibly.

"Shut up!" the Death Eater shouted, pushing her forward into the main hallway now.

"It'll be okay, Molly," said Sirius, shakily rising to his feet.

"I suggest you put your wands down or I will kill her," said the Death Eater, using Molly as a shield.

"No, don't!" shouted Draco, his heart pounding again in his chest. He couldn't bear the thought of losing the woman who had become more of a mother to him than his own had ever been.

"Put your wands down or I will kill her!" he shouted once more.

Draco looked to Sirius and Harry and saw them nod at him. Slowly, all together, they bent to place their wands on the ground. Seeing the Death Eater watching Harry and his godfather carefully, Draco quickly raised his wand once more, hoping that he didn't miss and hit Molly by mistake. He yelled the first curse he could think of. "DIFFINDO!"

Only the Death Eater was ready and quickly blocked the cutting curse. It rebounded and caught Draco in the right shoulder, wounding his wand arm, rendering him almost useless. He held his shoulder with his left hand hoping to stem the blow of blood somewhat as the pain radiated up his neck and across his chest.

"Draco!" Harry yelled, obviously wanting to come to his aid. But a look from Draco held him place. They couldn't risk losing Molly Weasley.

"Foolish boy, did you really think you could best me?" the Death Eater roared.

Draco felt his mother quietly come to his side to see if he was alright, but he pushed her away angrily, concentrating at their current situation. He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't think he could fire off another spell accurately if he tried with his arm the way it was. Ginny, Hermione, and Neville's wands were still resting on the floor from the order to set them down. Sirius and Harry were still half stooped with their wands lowered.

"It looks as though we're at an impasse," said the Death Eater. "Make one wrong move and she will be no more." He gripped Molly a little harder to show that he was serious.

There was a moment of complete silence as everyone stood still waiting for some kind of sign. Fortunately, it came with the appearance of Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Severus standing behind the Death Eater, prepared to do battle. They had approached so silently from their ascent up the stairs from the basement kitchen, that it had gone unnoticed by him.

"Perhaps not…" said Sirius mockingly, raising his wand defensively once more.

Draco watched as the headmaster, took the hateful man down with a simple stunning hex. It was over… it was finally over.

"What took you so long?" Sirius asked, as he ripped off the Death Eater robes he was still wearing.

"I'm sorry… I was away from my office when Molly fire called. Word had to spread through the paintings that help was needed here," said Dumbledore, looking quite apologetic. "We came as soon as we were notified."

"Well, you couldn't have come a moment sooner," Sirius replied, shaking his head in frustration over what had happened.

Severus and Dumbledore quickly went about assuring that all the Death Eaters were either dead or unconscious, and then set a containment field around them all.

Molly had lay kneeling, having been released from the Death Eater's grasp when he feel. Professor McGonagall helped her up carefully, but then saw the gash on Draco's shoulder. Leaving her friend's side to aid her student she quickly asked, "Mr. Malfoy, are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"I'll be fine," he said, earning a glare of disbelief from his transfiguration teacher.

Brushing past her, Draco quickly crossed the hall to Molly, where she was now heavily leaning against the wall for support. He was concerned that she had been hurt during the battle as well. He was vaguely aware that McGonagall had gone to check on the rest of his friends.

"Are you okay?" Draco asked, seeing the way she was still wincing in pain.

"I'll be fine dear. Nothing a good rest and a visit to Poppy can't fix," she replied, taking his hand and standing up gingerly. "And what about you?" she asked, examining his wounded shoulder. "That's got to sting a bit."

"It does hurt, but I'm sure it will be alright. I'm more concerned about you," Draco answered truthfully.

"You are such a dear," she replied, beaming one of her smiles at him. She leaned forward and briefly hugged him with her good arm. "Why don't we go get patched up together?"

Draco nodded but their plans were interrupted when the reality of the situation set in. There were others with far more grievous injuries than him. He had almost forgotten that.

"Mum!" Ginny cried out. "Ronnie's hurt…"

"What? My Ronnie?" she asked, forgetting her own pain and attempted to run to the side of her youngest son. Seeing how difficult it was for Molly to even walk, Draco reached his good arm around her waist and helped her limp to her son's side.

"Minerva, what's wrong with him?" Molly asked the professor, who was by Hermione's side.

"We won't know until we get him to the hospital. We should go quickly…" responded McGonagall, using a levitation to gently lift Ron's body off the floor and float him to the living room fireplace.

Sirius and Harry were talking quietly to one another across the room and seemed to be in the middle of a bonding moment. It was obvious from the way they were hugging one another how worried they had each been about the other. Not wanting to disturb such an intimate moment, Draco walked up to where his mother was standing, still taking in the scene. She had some answering to do.

"Are you alright, dragon?" she asked, reaching out to him.

Draco brushed her off. "What do you care? You're the one that led them straight to us!" he shouted.

"What?" asked Severus as he moved towards them. "How?"

"She figured out how to reactivate the portkey we used before," he said pointing to the harmless looking beach ball. "She sold her own son out!"

"No I didn't. I did this for us! So we could be free!" she said exasperatedly. "I won't leave with out you!"

"I told you before, I'm not going anywhere with you! My friends could have been killed!" Draco shouted angrily. The hurt he was feeling was so much deeper than he had ever felt before. How could his mother do this to him?

"What will you do then? Stay here with these Muggle lovers?" she spat, seeing that she was losing the fight.

Draco was taken aback by her attitude, but it confirmed what he had already known since her reappearance. She really hadn't changed in all that time she spent in hiding, even among Muggles themselves. She was the same cold, arrogant heiress blinded by her pure blooded notions. She disgusted him. She was nothing like the motherly figure, Molly, he had come to know and love.

Having overheard their conversation, Harry silently came up behind him and put his hand on his shoulder, lending his support.

"Yes," Draco finally responded. "I have a true family now," he responded, nodding to where Molly was standing with his friends in the living room, waiting to Floo to Hogwarts.

His mother gave him one last long disapproving look. "Well, I guess I will be going now… there is nothing left here worth my time," she said. Draco tried his best to give her his infamous sneer, but found that his heart was breaking on the inside.

Before his mother could make a move, Severus had put her in a fully body bind. "Not so fast, Cissy. You knowingly led Death Eaters to the headquarters of the resistance against the Dark Lord, which is certainly punishable by any number of means…Headmaster, what do you wish we do with Ms. Malfoy?"

"What? You can't do this!" Narcissa screeched. "I've put up with being held prisoner for no good reason for too long already!"

After studying Narcissa carefully for a moment Dumbledore finally said, "I believe that is for Draco to decide."

"You must be joking, Albus," said Sirius, joining the conversation.

"No, I am not. Draco will decide his own mother's fate," said the aged wizard, he blue eyes filled with much sadness.

"Me?" Draco asked incredulously. The headmaster nodded. Why did he have to decide his mother's fate?

Draco quickly contemplated all of their options, which all seemed to result with her being sent to Azkaban. As much as he hated her now, could he really wish such a fate on his own mother? Dumbledore's sad eyes seemed to look down past his spectacles, right into Draco's very soul. He slowly came to a decision.

Grasping his painful shoulder he asked, "Will the Weasleys or the Order be able to stay here?"

"Though I'm sure that the Fidelius Charm and the wards are still in place, we can't be certain that the portkey hasn't been duplicated somehow. So no… the Weasleys and the Order's headquarters will need a change of venue, so to speak…" he replied.

"To your knowledge, can my mother cause us any more harm with the information she knows?"

The headmaster was quiet for a few moments while he contemplated this. "I don't believe so, not any more…"

"Then with all due respect sir, I wish for my mother to be set free," Draco said firmly.

"I don't believe this!" said Sirius, throwing his hands up in the air. "She instrumented an attack on the Order and you are going to just let her go?"

"Of course," replied Dumbledore, nodding to Severus to release the body bind. "It was Draco's decision and he weighed it carefully. Narcissa is free to go."

"But headmaster," said Severus, protesting now.

"It was Draco's decision and we must stand by it," he responded. Severus lifted the spell and Narcissa looked at all of them in disbelief. "His mercy is commendable."

Disgusted with the situation, Sirius walked away to deal with other matters.

"You better hope Draco never sees your wretched face again… or you will have me to deal with," said his godfather in a menacingly tone. He glared down at her and added one last thought. "You disappoint me…" he said, enunciating each word with piercing disdain.

With tears in her eyes she left their sight with a loud crack as she Apparated away, leaving Draco feeling quite despondent.

"Are you alright?" his godfather asked, looking him over. Draco nodded, but couldn't say anything else.

Severus retrieved a vial from his robes and handed Draco the bluish liquid. "Your shoulder appears to be badly wounded, take this healing potion. It will help with the pain until Madam Pomfrey can see you."

Draco down the potion in one gulp and handed his godfather the empty vial. Dark eyes looked him over with a worried glance. "Do you wish to talk?" said Severus.

Draco shook his head, and stared down at his bare feet, suddenly feeling awkward. His godfather was really the hugging type and as close as they were, they still had difficulty talking about things.

"That was a very honorable thing you did for your mother, though I don't agree with your decision," he offered.

Draco shrugged, unsure of what to say. Severus looked to Harry, who was still standing quietly beside Draco, and seemed to decide that the boys need a moment alone.

"I will help the headmaster with the prisoners so that you both may head to Hogwarts. I will check on you later. Is that acceptable?" Severus asked.

"Yeah," said Draco numbly.

His godfather left them to join Professor Dumbledore, and Draco turned to his boyfriend. Staring down into those green eyes, so full of sympathy and understanding, was his undoing. It felt as if his whole world was crashing down around him. Sensing his pain, Harry pulled Draco into his arms.

"Draco, it'll be okay," said Harry, holding him tightly and burying in his face into his neck.

"I'm so sorry," Draco replied sadly, feeling guilty that his own mother was the cause of this treachery.

"Don't be," he replied.

Draco sniffled and found that he couldn't respond. Harry looked up and him and tried to smile as he gently wiped away the tear with the pad of his thumb. Draco hadn't even known he had been crying, and felt weak for it.

Embarrassed, he pulled away and angrily wiped at his eyes to get rid of the evidence. He just did battle with Death Eaters, for Merlin's sake, he shouldn't be weeping like a baby. What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he be stronger?

"It's okay, Draco. You have a right to be upset," whispered Harry, pulling Draco back into his embrace. "You're trembling…"

"Sorry, I don't know why," Draco replied, allowing his weight to rest on the smaller boy. He felt so tired now that it was all over.

"You've been through a lot tonight and were tortured. There's bound to be some side effects… I should know."

"So were you," Draco replied lamely.

"I love you," Harry replied, looking up into Draco's eyes. "You will always be my family."

Draco nodded, unable to reply because of the thick lump in his throat.

The couple looked to where Sirius was kneeling over Buckbeak, placing the Death Eater robes he had borrowed over the creature's lifeless eyes.

"What a shame…" Sirius said softly. "He was a good friend."

Harry nodded, obviously feeling the loss too.

"You should get to Hogwarts with the others and check on Ron," said Sirius. "We can handle things from here. You both did well, Remus will be proud…"

They nodded again, not bothering to respond. How can you feel proud about having to do battle.

Hand in hand they walked over to the fireplace in the living room. They both were surprised to find Molly waiting for them. She smiled at them warmly, but they could see that she was obviously in still a lot of pain.

"We thought you would have gone through with Ron," said Draco, unable to hide his surprise. "You need to be healed as well."

"I did, but once I saw that Ronnie was in good hands, I decided to come back for my boys," said Molly. She reached her hand out to Draco and pulled him to her. Clasping his face between her hands she said. "You are my family, always and forever, no matter what happens."

Draco felt the thick lump in his throat return. Tears sprung in his eyes, though thankfully they did not spill over this time. Unable to responded, he simply nodded. He then went to her side and draped her good arm over his left shoulder to lend his support.

"I thought we could go through and get patched up together," said Molly. "Harry, dear, can you grab the powder?"

"Sure, Mrs. Weasley," he replied.

He threw in a handful of the silvery powder and all three stepped in together, the boys on either side of their surrogate mother. Holding onto one another they yelled, "Hogwarts!" and disappeared in a blaze of green flames.

* * *

A/N: Well, what did you think? I would appreciate any feedback or suggestions for what you want to see in the final chapter. Just so you know some of the spells used in this chapter are from canon, and some are of my own creation. (See author notes in previous chapters if you're really curious). Only one chapter left to go! 

A/N2: Okay, just a refresher on how the magic on the house works in my story. Aunt Walpurga was the orginial Secret Keeper and told Narcissa of its location, but the Fidelius Charm didn't die with her, which is how Narcissa found the house. Dumbledore is the current Secret Keeper. He brought Harry's friends to the surprise party via a portkey, which he created using the beach ball. After the party the ball became inactive, but Narcissa learned where it came from. After a talk with her aunt's portrait she discovered that it could be reactivated (this was implied). She sent it to her sister last night with her plea for freedom. The portkey was limited in the number of passengers. Only eight came by it for the party, so only eight Death Eaters could use it as well. Got it? Hey, I thought it made a lot of sense…


	28. Somewhere I Belong

A/N: Well, this is finally it… the end. Sorry it took me seven months to get the final chapter out. This would have been posted sooner, but my computer lost some of my files and I was pretty discouraged at having to rewrite everything again. Then writer's block hit. I had the last chapter completely outlined, and found that I hated every bit of it. There were times when I thought I would never finish this story and I'm sure you all did as well. Fortunately a moment of inspiration hit, and it all poured out of me. I can't say that I love this last chapter, but it is what it is… an epilogue that attempts to tie up loose ends and highlight once again all of the bonds that have been created between the main characters.

A/N2: **_Quick Recap_**: Death Eaters attacked the Order's Headquarters and the gang barely escaped with their lives. Some were injured more severely than others, but all were traumatized in some way. Draco dealt with the betrayal of his mother and his acceptance into in his new family. Oh yeah… and there was quite a bit about Sirius learning about Harry's past now that he was brought back from beyond the veil. And that episode with Vernon… can't forget that. Okay, that's about it, I think. If you're still confused, you'll probably need to do another quick read though. Sorry about that, I know it's been a while.

A/N3: Just a warning… this chapter is very slashy! Hence the mature rating. Well, enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 28- Somewhere I Belong (Epilogue)**

_Dear Journal,_

_I can't believe I'll be returning to Hogwarts tomorrow. This has felt like the longest summer of my life, which is really saying something considering all the endless chores I used to do at the… but it doesn't really matter, I guess. It has been in some ways, the best and worst summer of my life. I got to be a normal kid for once- though I suppose I'm technically an adult- and I have a real home and a real family. I've wanted these things for so long I can hardly believe it's finally happened. _

_But as with everything in my life, good things don't last very long. The run in with my uncle in London really did a number on me emotionally. I started cutting again, despite the promises I made to everyone, and as a result Sirius found out every last horrid detail of my childhood. I guess I wanted him to know it all eventually, but I never expected for it to come out like that. He has taken it a lot better than I expected, which is a huge relief. _

_And just when I finish dealing with all of that, the Death Eaters come knocking on our door. Well, not _our_ door exactly. It was the Order's headquarters, and they really didn't knock, I guess. They portkeyed in… Merlin, I'm rambling…_

"Harry?"

"Yes?" Harry replied, hearing Remus calling him from downstairs.

"We really should be going. Molly is expecting us," Remus shouted up.

"Alright," Harry replied with a huge sigh. He had wanted to finish his journal entry before they had to leave, but it didn't look as if that was going to happen now.

It had been a long while since Harry had written anything and he was in the mood to get some things off his chest. Strangely, despite his need for something cathartic, it had still taken him the better part of the afternoon to work up the courage to write anything at all. The words simply wouldn't come to him and it looked as though he had lost track of the time as a result. Looking back at what he actually had penned, he realized that it sounded like random nonsense. Why was this so hard? Finishing his entry would have to wait until later it seemed. They were expected at the Burrow.

He sat up from where he was lying across his bed and marked his place in his journal using the blue Muggle pen he always wrote with. His poor journal had really taken a beating this summer and was looking a little worse for wear. Pages had been torn out, many had been crinkled so that they no longer lay flat, others were embossed with heavy X's from when he tried to get out his frustration to avoid cutting, and the only thing holding the broken binding of the spine together was a few loose _reparo_ spells. Despite its dilapidated appearance, Harry couldn't bear to part with it. The journal had helped him through a lot this past year and held a history of what had happened to him.

He then tossed the journal into his school bag, which was neatly resting atop his trunk, where most of his belongings were packed for his return to Hogwarts. They would be catching the train in morning and Harry was fairly certain he wouldn't get another chance to write until then. He quickly surveyed the room, checking to see if he had forgotten to pack anything. He marveled at the fact that he actually had stuff that he was leaving behind. When he had lived with the Dursleys, he hadn't dared to leave anything for fear that it would be burned, which had actually become a reality the summer after his fifth year. Now he had a loving family with a room of his own that he could do whatever he pleased with. His posters that adorned his yellow walls would stay, as well as the picture frames that covered his night stand. Some of his clothes and various other odds and ends would stay as well.

Harry checked his appearance in his mirror before heading downstairs. He had to admit, he finally liked what he saw. Gone was the short, scrawny kid, wearing hand-me downs that were several sizes too large for him. Before him stood a young man, who had grown lean and tan over the summer, wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and a faded blue graphic t-shirt. He was still a bit short, but he could handle that. And although he had been through a lot these past few years, he felt more confident than ever before. He knew now that he had survived things that would cripple most people, and he had come out the better for it.

He smiled at his reflection, and straightened the shirt he was wearing. He tried to run a hand through his hair to flatten it a bit, but it was no use. It seemed he would never outgrow his untidy hair or the needed for glasses for that matter, but that didn't bother him so much anymore.

"Harry?" Remus called again, sounding a little impatient now.

"Coming!" he called as he opened the door and jogged down the stairs. He found Remus waiting for him at the bottom.

"Ah, there you are…" Remus replied, with a smile. "I was beginning to wonder if you had forgotten about your barbeque."

"Nope," he replied, with a sheepish smile.

It had originally been Harry's idea to have a late summer barbeque, celebrating their last day of summer before they had to return to school. He had been excited at the prospect of having his friends and their families come to Villa de Luna for a traditional family gathering. It was something he had always wanted to do and had been deprived of at the Dursleys.

But a change of venue had occurred instead. In light of the recent events in London at the Order of the Headquarters, the Weasleys had decided that they no longer felt safe there, despite Dumbledore's assurances that the Fidelius Charm was still in place. There had been much discussion as to where the family should go and if the Order would continue to meet at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Some of the Order members had argued whether or not the portkey that had brought the Death Eaters there could have been duplicated before it was used or if it was even possible to do so. Others wondered about Draco's decision to allow his mother to go free and the possible information that could be leaked if she was recaptured. Clearly the breech in security had everyone on edge.

In the end, it was decided that for everyone's safety, the Order would secretly meet at Hogwarts and that Draco and the Weasleys would return home to Ottery St. Catchpole. It had taken several days to strengthen and extend the wards around the Burrow, but the Weasleys were finally able to return the house they had not set eyes on since Christmas.

After seeing the excitement in all of the red head's eyes, Harry simply couldn't deny them when Molly offered to host the barbeque instead in celebration of their return.

"Well, come help me pack some of this food in the basket," said Remus, leading Harry towards their kitchen.

"Sure," Harry replied. He knew that Remus could have simply packed the basket with magic, but he didn't comment. His guardian often preferred to do things the Muggle way, especially if he was fishing to ask Harry a question, which it seemed he was doing now.

"Are you doing okay?" Remus finally asked, his face betraying that he was still concerned about Harry.

"I'm alright."

Seeing the look that Remus was still giving him, he quickly added, "I promise," as he placed the plate of homemade biscuits on top of the large bowl of pasta salad. He then neatly tucked the bowl of baked beans, which had been charmed to keep warm, next to it.

He had admitted to Remus during one of their private "conversations" that he had been rubbing at his arms before the attack had occurred. Draco had stopped him once he realized what was happening, but it had alarmed Harry that he had been doing it subconsciously. Since then he had struggled with that "itchy" sensation, usually when he woke up from a dream about the attack. He knew that his therapy sessions with Remus were far from over and knew that he expected to see Harry at least twice a week for a session while they were at school.

The Death Eater attack had occurred not even a week ago and the memory of it was still fresh in his mind. It was all Harry could do to not rub or scratch at his arms, or grab a blade for that matter after the nightmares. He wished he knew when he would finally overcome the addiction, if ever.

Harry also knew that Remus still felt guilty that he hadn't been able to come to his rescue during the attack. Actually, Remus hadn't even realized that it had occurred until after they had all safely arrived at Hogwarts. The werewolf had been in the hospital wing, himself, recovering from his latest transformation. Remus had been a little more than surprised when he had finally awakened to see the small group occupying the beds around him looking pretty banged up.

Since then Remus had made it his priority to know Harry's whereabouts at all times and even made him check in with him frequently, every hour sometimes. Sirius was just as bad about it too. Harry had tolerated this over protective streak, but knew that it would have to be confronted if it continued much longer, especially when they had to return back to school.

Remus stepped towards him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders affectionately. "I don't know if I have told you lately, but I'm proud of how you've handled all of this Harry. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for," he said.

"Yes, you've told me, but thanks," Harry replied, hugging Remus awkwardly. "What else do you need me to do?" he finally asked, hoping to change the subject. He really didn't feel like dwelling on all of that today. The party was supposed to be there last bit of summer fun before they all returned to school.

"I think that's about it," he commented, eyeing the basket. "Molly said she would take care of the rest. We're almost ready to leave."

"Almost? What are we missing?"

Remus gave him a knowing look.

"Never mind, I'll get him," Harry replied good-naturedly.

Harry went back up stairs calling his godfather's name. He had just come up to Sirius's door and was about to knock when it opened abruptly.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Sirius muttered, quickly slipping past Harry and walking down the hallway.

Harry stood there momentarily and eyed his godfather's retreating form in shock. He looked… well… _good_. Not that Sirius wasn't good looking to begin with, especially after his rebirth from beyond the veil, but he was looking especially handsome tonight.

Harry followed him downstairs, still surprised by his godfather's appearance. It looked as though Sirius had opted for a clean shaven face, instead of donning the five o'clock shadow that seemed to cover his face no matter the time of day. He had recently showered, leaving his black locks wet and glossy, and he looked less tired for once. Harry wondered if the nightmares about Limbo that had usually plagued him were finally held at bay. Dressed in a dark of jeans and a black muscle t-shirt he looked… cool.

Poor Remus with this graying hair, faded jeans and plain button-down shirt, wouldn't have stood a chance if they were going for a night on the town. Sirius was most certainly the ladies man of the pair.

Realizing that he had just checked out his guardian and godfather, Harry felt an overwhelming sense of revulsion and had to give himself a mental shake to rid any lingering thoughts. He found that he was still coming to understand his sexuality and all of these feelings were very confusing. Was it okay to check out other men, even though he was with Draco? What did that say about him? Was it normal? What was normal exactly?

Harry must have had a funny look on his face because Sirius suddenly laughed aloud at him. "Are you okay? You look like you swallowed a flobberworm!"

"Yeah, sorry. Just remembered I forgot to do some homework is all," Harry lied easily. "Are we ready to go?"

"Sure, let me just grab the basket," Remus replied. "Are we Flooing or Apparating?"

"Apparating," Sirius and Harry both replied. They both shared a mutual dislike of traveling though fireplaces.

The threesome walked through the woods to the edge of the property, past the wards, and to the Apparition point. Within seconds they had arrived outside the wards of the Burrow and quickly began to walk towards the house.

Anxious to see Draco and his friends, Harry began to jog, only to notice a large black dog keeping up beside him. Laughing at his godfather's antics, Harry picked up the pace until he was in an all out sprint. As fast as he was, he couldn't beat Sirius's animagus form.

"Hey, no fair!" Harry shouted, as a black blur sped ahead of him and began running circles around the picnic tables set up outside the Burrow.

As Harry came near, he could see how alarmed Mrs. Weasley had become, who seemed to be the only who had not instantly recognized Sirius. Snuffles was barking playfully, despite the attempts she made to kick the unknown beast away. When it looked as though the food she was carrying was going to topple to the ground, Sirius quickly transformed back to his human form.

"Here, let me help you with that," he said breathlessly, as he grabbed the plate of chicken and set it with the rest of the food on one of the tables.

"Sirius! Honestly! You gave me a fright!" Mrs. Weasley shouted, slapping the man on the arm.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself," Sirius replied sheepishly, as he pushed one of his stray locks behind his ear.

"Well, I'd appreciate if you didn't do it again," she replied before turning back to the house. "Honestly…"

Harry smiled at the pair and quickly looked around for his friends. Almost of all of the Weasley's were present today. Mr. Weasley was helping his wife with bringing out the food. Ron and Bill were talking quietly with Percy, who was looking more comfortable around his family than he had in a long time. And the twins and Ginny were standing under the old oak tree off to the side. Only Charlie was missing because he couldn't afford to take time off work right now.

Hermione must have arrived with her parents shortly after they had and was introducing them to Sirius and Remus, who had finally reached the house. Crookshanks, Hermione's overly large cat, was walking circles around them looking uncharacteristically excited about something. Harry looked around for Draco and found the blond to be missing.

"Hey mate! How are you?" Harry asked, taking a seat beside Ron.

"Alright," Ron replied quietly, still looking a little peaked. "I just wished I didn't still feel so damned tired all the time."

"Sorry about that. I'm sure these things just take time."

Ron only shrugged in response.

"So where's Draco?"

Ron gave him an amused expression and glanced down at his watch. Turning to Bill and Percy, he shouted "I win! I told you it would take less than a minute before he started asking about blondie. Pay up!"

Bill and Percy both shook their heads and handed Ron a Knut each.

"You are making bets about me?" Harry asked incredulously. "I'd expect it from the twins or Ron, but you two?"

"Where did you think they learned it?" said Percy.

Both Ron and Bill laughed at that. "C'mon Perce, you're as straight as they come. That is probably the first bet you've ever made," said Ron.

Harry just huffed and crossed his arms over his chest trying to look cross, though he honestly wasn't.

"Don't sweat it, Harry. It's all in good fun," Bill replied. "Besides, there's lover boy now."

Harry looked towards the direction Bill was pointing and saw Draco and Snape approaching. Giving the three Weasley boys a withering glare, he rose from his seat to greet them.

Harry was unable to hide the smile that spread across his face at the sight of his boyfriend. Draco looked absolutely beautiful, sporting a causal pair of pants and a faded green t-shirt, likely borrowed from one of the Weasley boys, seeing how his once extravagant wardrobe was dwindling. His silky hair looked even lighter than usual in the warm sunlight and his grey blue eyes shone birghtly. In his arms was his pet Kneazle, Jinx, who squirmed to get away as soon as she saw her feline friend was also in presence today.

Mrs. Weasley, on one of her return trips to the house gather more food, reached Draco first. She reached out and kissed the man on the forehead, greeting him like a long lost son. "Ah, there you are. I was wondering when you two would show up. Just in time too," she said with a smile. Patting his shoulder she left to go back into the house. Draco always allowed her to shower him with affection, and Harry knew that he secretly loved every bit of it having been deprived of such displays as a child with his real mother.

Finally catching sight of Harry, Draco returned the warm smile and quickly crossed the short distance to envelope Harry in a quick embrace. Their lips met, but before they could even greet one another properly the sound of someone loudly clearing their throat halted them.

"Enough already," Draco's godfather said huffily, clearly not amused. The pair had become more demonstrative in his presence as they became more comfortable with their affection and Snape found it all to be a very _effusive_, as he liked to put it. Harry and Draco grinned at him knowing that he meant no harm.

Giving the boys a wry look, Snape stalked past them, his black robes billowing slightly behind him. The effect wasn't as menacing in the brightness of the summer sun. He looked rather ridiculous wearing those heavy robes in this heat and Harry wondered if he used cooling charms or something.

"Sorry, I'm late. I spent the day with Sev," said Draco. "Since we moved back home I haven't been able to see him much."

It warmed Harry's heart that Draco considered the Burrow his home and the Weasleys his family, especially after the heart wrenching betrayal he had suffered from his own mother.

"Really? How'd that go?" Harry asked, knowing that Draco's relationship with his godfather could be rather tense at times.

"Not bad. We spent some time talking… after I got caught up on my potions homework, of course," Draco said with a smile.

Harry couldn't imagine spending any length of time talking with Snape. He was a rather complicated and intimidating man.

Knowing that the dinner would be ready shortly, they walked over to the picnic table. Hermione, Ginny, and the twins had already joined the other Weasley siblings at one end. Draco and Harry squeezed in beside them and found that the table magically lengthened itself to accommodate all of them. Sirius, Remus, and Snape had found a seat with the Grangers at the other end of the table.

Despite the bright, sunny day, the mood was somewhat somber. They were all trying to be cheerful, but it was rather obvious that they all had a lot on their minds. It was hard to focus on the last day of their summer vacation with the memory of the attack still so fresh. The knowledge that Voldemort was still out there probably planning his next attack was rather humbling as well. The small group commiserated about how they were all doing since that fateful encounter.

It had only been a few days since the attack at Headquarters and they all looked like they were faring well. Hermione and Ginny had been both emotionally distraught from the ordeal, but had thankfully suffered no major injuries from the attack. Neville, who had yet to arrive, had suffered a mild concussion from his run in with Buckbeak and had been quickly healed. Harry still had some lingering effects from the stinging hexes and the cruciatus curse he had suffered, but had immediately felt better as soon as he had been administered a healing potion from the school nurse.

Draco's right shoulder, which had been injured by a rebounding curse, had also been healed as soon as they had arrived at Hogwarts. Unfortunately they later found out that there was some lasting damage in the muscle tissue and the joint. He will have to have some physical therapy to regain the strength in his right arm, but he should be okay otherwise. His wand casting was still a little uncoordinated, but Madam Pomfrey assured him that it would improve over time.

Sirius and Molly, on the other had both been admitted to the hospital for their wounds, but were only required to stay over night with assurance that they would both take it easy for the next few days. Harry had later discovered that Sirius and Molly had been taken by surprise when the Death Eaters had attacked. The plan to have Neville warn them had unfortunately failed and they were lucky to have overcome their attackers the way that they did.

Ron looked a bit uncomfortable, still suffering from some residual pains from the hex he had received, but overall his health seemed much improved. The most grievously injured of the group, Ron had been released from the hospital only yesterday. Harry was relieved to see his friend doing so much better. Ironically, he had been hit with the very same curse that Hermione had been hit with at the Department of Mysteries last year.

Noticing Ginny was sitting slightly apart from them looking sad, Harry reached across the table to take her hand and looked her in the eye. "Alright?" he whispered.

"I guess…" she replied quietly.

"Is it Neville?" he asked intuitively, having already noticed that their friend had yet to arrive.

Ginny nodded and sniffled. "He's not coming. His grandmother is trying to prevent us from seeing each other again. She blames my family for involving him in the attack."

"But that's ridiculous!" Harry shouted, jumping to her defense.

Ginny held up her hand to stop him. "Save it. I know all of that. And she can't really keep us apart. Not really. We'll be leaving for Hogwarts tomorrow and we can be together as much as we want. And after Neville graduates this year… well, we'll have to see then. The point is I'm trying not to dwell on all of that right now."

Harry nodded, trying to understand. "And sitting here quietly and not talking to the rest of us is your way of not dwelling on it?" he asked sarcastically. "It all makes sense to me. Your plan is brilliant!"

Ginny grinned at his attempt at humor knowing she didn't have a good reply.

"I thought so," Harry said matter-of-factly. He let go of her hand and gave her a smile. He then made a point of including her in the rest of the conversation, which thankfully had switched to Quidditch.

A short while later Molly and Arthur had finally finished bringing out all of the food. The food table was filled with barbeque chicken, steaks, salads, fresh breads, beans, corn on the cob, as wells as many other lovely things to eat. The hot air was heavy with all of the heavenly smells, and they quickly took turns in line getting their food.

It was then they noticed the young man coming down the steps of the Burrow, dusting off the soot from his clothes.

"Neville!" Ginny shouted, running to her boyfriend and tackling him with a hug. "You came!"

"Of course I did. Nothing can stop me from seeing you, love," Neville replied, his eyes filled with admiration for his girlfriend.

"Why did you Floo?" she asked, helping to brush the soot from his clothing.

"I don't know… still leery of Apparating, I guess, after what happened and all," said Neville, obviously remembering his failed attempt to Apparate during the attack. "Sorry I'm late. Had to wait until Gran went down for her nap so she wouldn't know I'd left."

"Oh that's alright, Neville! C'mon join us deary," called Mrs. Weasley.

Neville quickly obliged and began loading his plate with food as he talked merrily to the others. Then the friends, both young and old, gathered around the large picnic table that had been transfigured to accommodate their sizable group and seated themselves. Because of its magical length, it closely resembled the tables that could be found in the Great Hall of Hogwarts. Pitchers of Butterbeer, pumpkin juice, and ale appeared on the main table and they each filled their glasses.

"A toast…" Sirius began loudly, raising his glass in the air. He waited for the others to do the same. "To the ones who saved me from beyond the Veil and made it possible that I am even standing here today. To the brightest, most courageous, and most fiercely loyal friends I have ever seen…" Sirius's voice trailed off, his eyes glittering. "These young people are our hope and our future. May their days filled with much love and much laughter so that they may continue to fight any darkness that dares to shadow their lives."

"Here, here," was the response as they each took a drink.

"And to our fallen hero…to Buckbeak!" Sirius added.

"To Buckbeak!"

None of them would ever forget the Hippogriff that had somehow befriended them all and saved their lives that fateful day. If it were not for the distraction, they may have been overcome by the Death Eaters before help could arrive.

There was a loud clatter of forks against plates and the din of several conversations rose once more. For this small brief moment in time, all seemed right in the world.

* * *

After several helpings of food, several rounds of Quidditch, and a dip in the swimming hole, the day finally began to wind down. Feeling the need to be alone with his love, Draco grabbed their brooms and steeled Harry away from the others.

"Where are we going?" Harry asked.

"Nowhere… just felt like being alone with you. Thought we'd go for a fly together. We've never done that before," Draco replied with a shrug.

"Sounds perfect," he replied, grabbing his broom from Draco. He had soon mounted it and taken off to the air, patiently waiting for Draco.

The pair flew lazily around the Burrow, then past the orchard, through the woods, and out onto an open field. Long blades of grass, looking brown and quite parched, waved in the hot summer breeze. They both hovered there for a moment looking wide eyed out onto the expanse of open land. Past the edge of the woods, only a few trees dotted the skyline. It was late in the day and the sun was low in the sky. They watched for a few minutes the sun began to set, turning the sky first orange and then red. Because of the heat, it seemed to sizzle like an egg in a frying pan as it finally began to dip below the horizon. The sight was truly remarkable to behold.

Then, as if sensing what the other was about to do, they both broke out of their trance with a burst of speed. They soon found themselves racing one another, the long grasses parting in their wake. They flew as far as they dared, before sensing the edge of the wards and circled back on each other skillfully flying figure eights.

Already knowing what Harry was going to do, Draco found himself chasing him at break neck speeds. Draco knew Harry was fast, having spent several Quidditch matches as seeker against him, but he still marveled at his boyfriend's ability. He used to be jealous, now he was just in awe. Draco tried desperately to catch up to Harry, but he was always seemed just out of reach.Something familiar was stirring deep inside of Draco, but he couldn't pinpoint what he was feeling.

Harry began performing some rather bold maneuvers in an attempt to lose Draco off his tail. He looped and dived and spiraled, daring Draco to follow him each time. For a while it seemed as if Draco would never over take him, but then he saw his opening and he formed a plan. He waited, knowing that Harry would have to eventually pull out of his current dive. He maneuvered himself closer to the ground instead of chasing Harry directly and pulled out his wand.

Just as he expected, Harry pulled out of the dive and slowed his broom when he didn't sense Draco behind him and began to look around. Seeing his opportunity, Draco made a beeline to Harry and caught up to him before he could take off once more. He tackled Harry to the ground, remembering to cast a cushioning charm before they fell.

They bounced harmlessly off the ground and rolled a few feet towards the shadows of a tall tree. Still startled by the sudden attack, Harry was completely at Draco's mercy when the blond began tickling him. He tried to get Draco back, but he couldn't stop laughing or squirming to get away.

After a short while, the laughter died, but their embrace did not. They held each other tightly and Draco stared down into Harry's emerald eyes. They were both hot and sticky from their little adventure but none of that mattered. He began to stroke Harry's messy locks, which now had pieces of grass in it, and leaned forward for a kiss.

Harry's soft lips captured his own and nothing ever felt so right in his life. Suddenly, Draco realized that this was his dream… the dream that he had had on oh so many lonely nights… and it was actually coming true. He could only hope that things progressed the way that he had always wanted them to and that he didn't suddenly wake up unexpectedly. He pulled back momentarily to contemplate what to do next.

Lying on top of Harry like this, Draco couldn't help but feel himself become slightly aroused as he gazed down at the man he loved. Even in the dying light, Draco could see how beautiful he was. Harry had grown incredibly tan this summer and he looked healthier than Draco had ever known him.

"So beautiful…" he whispered.

Draco captured Harry's mouth with his own once more and began sucking on his bottom lip. Knowing what his love liked, Draco moved his mouth to nip Harry's ears and then suckled at the soft sweaty skin at the base of his neck. Harry moaned in delight and turned his head to the side to allow Draco easier access. He moved his lips towards a sensitive spot licked the area gently. Harry moaned in appreciation and Draco deepened his ministrations. He felt Harry arch his body upwards and realized that he was just as turned on as Draco was. He repositioned himself so that his thigh was pressing against Harry's straining groin. He was pleased that he had gotten such a response from him and returned to kissing Harry's mouth as he stroked the skin beneath his shirt.

Their hands began exploring each other's bodies, rubbing at the sweaty skin beneath their clothes, desperately trying to get closer to one another, if it was even possible. Draco hesitantly allowed one of his hands to slip inside the waist band of Harry's pants, causing him to squirm with pleasure.

"Draco," Harry whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I want this… more than anything else. Please?" he asked plaintively.

He could hardly believe what Harry was asking. Draco understood what his uncle had done to him would always be a part of Harry, but a small part of him still hoped that they could take their relationship to the next level when Harry was ready. He had fantasized about this moment for so long, but he had never dared to expect that they would have sex any time soon.

"Are you sure?" Draco asked breathlessly.

"I have never been more sure about anything in my life," Harry replied confidently. "You make me feel special… safe…"

Draco smiled and then leaned forward and kissed Harry more deeply. Pulling back he sat up and said, "If we're going to do this. Then we should do make ourselves more comfortable."

He quickly rose to his feet and pulled Harry up beside him. Then he pointed his wand towards the base of the tree and conjured a couple of large blankets and cast a strong cushioning charm. He guided Harry over to the blankets and gently sat him down. He helped Harry take off his shirt, before removing his own and then knelt down before him.

"Are you still sure?" he asked once more.

His only response was Harry pulling him close and tearing at the belt on Draco's pants. He moaned as Harry kissed his mouth once more and their tongues slid back and forth against one another. Hands pulled at his pants and underwear and soon Draco was deprived of every piece of clothing. Feeling quite vulnerable like this out the open, Draco quickly did the same to Harry and pulled him beneath one of the blankets.

They kissed each other passionately, exploring each other's mouths. It had been so long since they had been like this together. Their heated passion began to mount as they both grew more aroused. Unsure if what he was doing was going to upset Harry or not, he decided to restrain himself a bit. Draco was used to letting Harry take the lead because he never wanted to push him any farther than he was willing to go, knowing how much he had overcome just to get here. He didn't want to move too fast, or scare Harry in anyway.

So Draco's heart beat quickened as Harry grasped his hardening flesh in his hand, realizing that Harry was quite serious about all of this. They had never really gone much farther than heavy petting before this and he was feeling nervous about what might happen next. Draco wondered briefly how this was going to work, when he felt a sudden wave of pleasure. Harry had quickened his strokes down below as he continued to kiss him. As the wonderful sensation began to build in Draco's groin, he remembered that he should be pleasuring Harry as well.

Stilling Harry's hand, Draco whispered, "Slow down…"

Feeling that Harry was ready for more, Draco allowed his hands and mouth to roam uninhibited and Harry did the same. They explored each other's bodies in ways they never had before. Their actions were inexperienced and clumsy, but also amazingly sweet. Both were hesitant to do anything that might hurt the other, but they also wanted to experience the joy of true intimacy.

Somehow or another, they silently agreed that Harry would be on top tonight. Draco would have much preferred it the other way around, but in light of what Harry had already been through this seemed like an important first step. Draco showed Harry a spell that he had found, just in case of course, and after being thoroughly prepared, Harry entered him.

"Oh god… yes…." Harry groaned, raising his hips slightly to increase the friction.

Draco groaned in response. It had been painful at first, which he found rather surprising, but after a few minutes the pain gave way to ultimate pleasure and he moaned some more.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked worriedly.

"Yes… are you?" Draco responded, unsure of what Harry was thinking right now.

"Yeah. Do you want me to keep going?"

"Yes… don't stop…" he pleaded.

Harry rocked his hips against him and moaned above. Having never had such an erotic experience before, Draco knew he couldn't hold out much longer. He felt himself release, moaning into Harry's shoulder as waves of pleasure rolled down his body, somehow realizing that Harry had found release at the same time. Afterwards, Harry laid on top of him limply, waiting for his heartbeat and breath to return to normal.

"Was that okay?" Draco asked. He wanted nothing more than to have a healthy sexual relationship with the man he loved and this moment seemed like a big turning point for him.

"That was bloody amazing," Harry replied. "Thank you for that. You don't know how much that meant to me."

Draco sighed in relief and kissed him affectionately. "I think I do," Draco replied, kissing Harry's temple.

"I love you so much…" Harry whispered.

"I love you too."

They repositioned themselves so that Harry's head was lying on Draco's shoulder and his body was draped over him. They laid there a long while, snuggling beneath the blanket, feeling rather hot and sweaty. With the hot summer temperature they knew they probably didn't need the blanket, but neither one of them were daring enough to toss aside the only thing covering their nakedness. They were fairly certain of their continued privacy, but there was still a certain vulnerability you feel when you were outdoors without a scrap of clothing between you and the nighttime air.

As they lay there, the sky continued to darken and the stars came out. Insects began to softly hum and frogs could be heard calling all the way from the swimming hole. Fire flies slowly made themselves known, blinking on, blinking off. They swooped low over the dying grass silently calling out to one another like miniature lighthouses calling out to a lost ship.

Harry made a soft keening sound, like he was rather content and Draco kissed his forehead.

"It's beautiful tonight, isn't it?" Draco asked.

"Yes, it is. A perfect night."

Feeling rather emotional after such an encounter, Draco decided to reveal a little secret. "Did I ever tell you that I knew I was in love with you before we even got together?"

"What? Really? C'mon… you're just saying that," said Harry, a look of disbelief crossing his face.

Draco nodded and pulled Harry closer. "Really. I used to dream about you and me flying across a field like this. In my dreams, at least in the beginning, you were always just out of reach."

"That's amazing. Why didn't you ever tell me?" Harry asked, looking quite awed.

"I told you before about my recurring dreams," he insisted.

"But you didn't tell me you loved me before we were together."

"I didn't really understand it then, not like I do now. Everything was so confusing. You were my school rival, after all. I was supposed to hate you, not fall in love with you," Draco responded.

"It does seem strange when you look back at our history, doesn't it?"

"Does it still feel strange?"

"No."

"Good."

Harry sighed contentedly again, snuggling his face into Draco's shoulder. Draco must have grimaced when his felt a twinge in his shoulder because Harry pulled back.

"Are you alright? Is your shoulder bothering you?" he asked, concern written all over his face.

"It's fine. Just a twinge," Draco insisted, pulling him back again.

Harry snuggled into him once more and their legs wrapped around each other. Draco buried his nose in Harry's hair, loving the scent of his shampoo, sweat, dirt, and something he could only describe as simply "Harry" all mixed together. It was Draco's turn to sigh contentedly.

"I can't wait until we're married some day and we can do this every night."

"Married?" Harry inquired.

"Sure, why not?"

"I love the idea, I just didn't think you thought about things like that."

"Of course I do, I think about a lot of things."

They lay quietly for a few moments, watching as the first stars began to shimmer in the darkening sky.

"It's so peaceful here," Harry commented, as he gently twirled the silver dragon ring around Draco's finger. He wore an identical one around his own finger, which also matched the charmed pendant he wore.

"Mhm," Draco agreed feeling sleepy.

"Do you think our life could ever be really like this. You know… normal…"

"I hope so."

They were quiet for a few moments as they listened to all the sounds around them. Draco nearly startled when he heard Harry laughing softly beside him.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

"No tell me."

"It's just… do you realize all of our encounters have been outdoors?" Harry finally said.

"Really? I never really thought about it like that. I guess you're right."

"Hey Draco?"

"Yeah?"

"Next time, can we make love in a bed?"

"Sure," he said laughing slightly.

Nothing ever seemed so right.

* * *

The next day found Ron and his friends at the Kings Cross Station saying goodbye to their families. This year was especially bittersweet, knowing that for all but Ginny, this would be their last year at Hogwarts.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay home for a few days?" asked his mum again, taking Ron's face in her hands. "You still look poorly."

"I'm fine, Mum. Really!" he pleaded, trying to pull away without making a scene. He hated it when she fussed over him. He was a grown man now. He didn't need his mother still chasing him about as if he were a toddler.

"I know, but…" she began, but her voice trailed off as she saw the determined look in his eye. She sighed deeply as she rubbed the pads of her thumbs over his cheeks, still gently cupping his face. "Take care of yourself."

She then kissed him firmly on the forehead before turning her attention to Ginny and Draco, who received much the same treatment. They didn't look so thrilled with it either, especially in front of all of their classmates.

Ron turned away only to find Hermione, slipping her arm around his waist. "Ready to go?"

"Sure, just gotta drag Harry away from the dog folk," said Ron.

"Ron! That's not nice!" Hermione scolded.

"What?" he asked innocently, earning himself a slap on the arm.

Stealing himself away from Hermione's disapproving glare, he grabbed his friend by the elbow in an attempt to pull him away. "C'mon mate. It's now or never. The train is leaving soon."

"I suppose you're right," Harry replied dejectedly. "I guess it's time for me to go."

"Don't look so sad, kiddo. I'll be seeing you soon," said Sirius, his arm wrapped around Harry's shoulder.

"Really? When?" Harry asked excitedly.

"Well, I don't know when exactly. But with the Order's meetings moved to our new location, I'm sure I can steal myself away to come say hello," Sirius explained.

"Yeah, it's not like he's a wanted man any more," added Ron.

Harry smiled at that. Ron was right. Sirius was free to do whatever he wished now that he had a full pardon from the Ministry. Never again would he have to face persecution for crimes he didn't commit.

"And you got ol' Moony hear to look after you when I'm not around," Sirius added, playfully nudging his friend's arm.

"I know," Harry replied, beaming up at his guardian.

"Well, come on then, the rest of your friends are waiting and the train is about to leave," said Lupin, directing Harry and Ron towards the steps to the nearest car. "I'll see you at school."

Ron and Harry climbed the steps and boarded the train, where the rest of the gang was waiting. Holding onto the railing, the pair turned back to face the two men down below.

"Not riding the train this year?" Ron shouted over the engine, realizing that he had always assumed that Lupin would.

"Not this year, no. I have some things I need to pick up for our classes on my way to Hogwarts, but I promise to see you at the Welcoming Feast," his professor explained quickly.

"Alright," shouted Harry. "See you soon. Bye Sirius."

His godfather waved goodbye to him, but was soon lost in the crowd of families waving goodbye and hoping to get one last glimpse of their children before the train whisked them away. The Grangers and Weasleys could barely be seen now as well, but they knew they were there waving them off.

"C'mon mate," said Ron, spotting their friends, who had moved off farther down the train.

"Where should we sit?" Ron asked, reaching Hermione's side.

"I'm not sure," Hermione said softly. Her face was a mixture of emotions, none of them readable.

"What is it?" asked Harry, now seeing the anger his boyfriend's face.

Draco merely shook his head and crossed his arms, seemingly not in the mood to discuss it. He looked away, his eyes blazing and his lips pursed in frustration.

"What happened?" Harry asked Hermione.

She looked hesitant to respond and as she was just about to answer, they heard a couple of rude voices carry above the others.

_"There's Potter. Do you think he's still suicidal?"_

_"I heard that he begged Malfoy to come back to him."_

Ron turned to glare at them and the two girls spying on them hurried back into their train compartment. "C'mon let's go," he said, grabbing Harry and Draco by the arms and leading them away from the gossiping crowd.

Unfortunately, their journey down the train to look for a place to sit away from spying eyes wasn't much better. It appeared that Harry and Draco had once again become the object of whispered remarks from their peers. It seemed no one had forgotten that the two were dating or that Harry had nearly killed himself last year when he sliced his arms open in the showers. Some students were just curious about their relationship, but others were just down right rude.

Seeking refuge from the way everyone was looking at them, the foursome moved to the very last train car. Ginny and Neville had opted instead to find a compartment with some of Ginny's sixth year friends, who she had not seen since the end of the school year.

The four friends tried to make themselves more comfortable and had spread out across the seats. The task was nearly impossible for Ron. His abdomen still ached from where he was hit with the curse so he couldn't really lounge. He was forced to sit as upright as possible. He was doing much better than he was before, but the train ride was uncomfortable to sit through, especially with the constant motion.

After a while, Ron felt himself become thoroughly bored. He had managed to convince Draco to play a few rounds of chess, but the blonde had given up after losing three times in a row. No one else seemed interested in a game of chess. The train ride had been rather uneventful, and no one seemed to have much to say. Hermione and Draco were both reading quietly, while Ron stared out the window. He simply couldn't bring himself to read anything before he actually had to at school.

Harry seemed to be in a world all to himself. He was furiously writing in that ratty looking journal he kept. Harry had started writing in at the beginning the trip and hadn't really stopped since. Ron couldn't imagine what he was writing about and wondered how his hand wasn't cramping yet, especially using that Muggle self-refilling ink pen contraption he insisted on writing with. The look on his face was intense, and some part of Ron knew that he probably didn't want to know what Harry was writing about.

Occasionally Harry would rub or itch one of his arms, which didn't seem strange to Ron until he did a few more times. Draco seemed to notice it to, though neither of them said anything about it. Ron made a mental note to keep an eye on his best mate once they were at Hogwarts. The last thing he wanted was a repeat of last year.

Feeling hopelessly bored, Ron sighed heavily, staring at the rain pouring outside, wishing that weather didn't have to be so gloomy. His mood was already rather somber, and grey skies did nothing to improve it.

Draco had glanced up at him and had smirked when he saw the boredom on his face. He shrugged, appearing to be quite bored himself now. He set aside his textbook and proceeded to stretch lazily. Ron then noticed Draco twist his head to the side as he glanced over at Hermione's book.

"What are you reading? That doesn't look like a school book?" Draco asked.

For lack of anything better to do, Ron peered curiously over Hermione's shoulder, suddenly intrigued. "And its not even Hogwarts a History," Ron added. "I've seen it enough times, so I should know."

Hermione smirked at them both and then clutched the book to her chest. "I've read most of our texts for this year already, if you must know. I'm reading _Pride and Prejudice_ instead. You know I do occasionally read for pleasure."

"I thought homework was pleasure for you," Ron replied.

Hermione proceeded to glare at him in mock annoyance. "I can't help it if some people's minds enjoy taking in knowledge. You should try it sometime."

Draco scoffed at the notion and took up his book once more.

"Nah… that's alright," Ron replied, a look of distaste crossing his face. "That's why I have you."

"Why you-" Hermione looked as though she wanted to hit him over the head with her book so he kissed her on the cheek, hoping to placate at her. It seemed to have worked because she went back to her reading, leaving him alone in his thoughts once more.

With the beginning of a new school year, it was hard not to reflect on that happened this year. They had all changed so much. Ron guessed that fighting Death Eaters can do that to you.

Ginny had grown up so much that Ron barely recognized her, and Hermione wasn't nearly so focused on her studies anymore. If anything, she dedicated herself even more so to helping the Order. Her idea to surveillance Muggle news stations as a way to detect Death Eater activity had allowed them to narrow down Voldemort's next attack. Too bad they hadn't realized that the attack would be on them.

But no one had changed more than Harry, Draco, and Sirius. The changes in them were remarkable. They were all lost before, each in their own way. Each one existing, but not really living.

Harry had overcome horrific childhood and found family. Draco had denounced his family and had been betrayed by his own mother to turn out to be a pretty decent bloke. He and Ron still had their share of problems, but brothers still fight occasionally.

Ron smiled at that, thinking of Draco as his surrogate brother. Who would have ever thought the Weasleys would have a blonde son? They never adopted him officially, but none of that mattered to them, especially since Draco was now of age. All that mattered was that he would always have a family that would love and understand him.

And Sirius had been rescued from the Beyond, to find a new life and purpose. Their perilous journey through the wild and across the sea had certainly been worth it when they discovered they were able to resurrect their lost friend. Sirius had his share of problems when he had finally awoken, but had worked through each of them to finally lead a normal life.

Most surprisingly, each of the three men had to come to terms that they were not at fault for anything that had happened to them and that there were people out there that loved and cared about them. They didn't have to exist in the nothingness they felt inside or hold onto the pain any longer. They had each found somewhere to belong.

Thinking about all of these weighty subjects was making Ron's head hurt. He rubbed his temples, hoping to ease the tension, realizing he wasn't one to dwell on such things. It was then that Ron suddenly became aware of Hermione tearing up beside him.

"What's wrong?" he asked in concern.

"Don't mind me," she said, wiping away a few stray tears. "I just finished the book is all."

"Was it sad?" he asked.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "It actually had a very happy ending."

"So what's wrong then? I never took you to be so sappy."

"I know. I'm not. It's just…. I started thinking. So much has happened this past year, and we still have another year at Hogwarts to go. And who knows what will become of us after we graduate with the war and everything…"

Draco and Harry both looked at each other solemnly and then to Hermione, listening intently. It seemed as though they were thinking the same thing.

"And I was wondering," Hermione continued. "Will we ever have a happy ending?"

"Of course we will," Ron replied quickly.

"You really think so?" Hermione asked tearfully.

"Sure," Harry added, reaching for Draco's hand. "Our futures may not be what we expect of it but after all that has happened we deserve a happy ending. Don't we?"

"Sure we do," said Ron, relieved that everyone finally seemed interested in some conversation. "But we have more important things to worry about than happy endings."

"Like what?" asked Hermione.

"Like trying to survive our seventh year," he replied with a grown. "I'm not looking forward to studying for our N.E.W.T.S."

"Don't worry. I'll help you study," said Hermione.

Ron rolled his eyes "That's what I'm worried about."

"At least you don't have to worry about Snape and Potions like I do," said Harry. "I don't even want to think about how hard this year is going to be."

"Hey, I quite like Potions, thank you very much," said Draco defensively. "And that's my godfather you're talking about."

"I'm lucky I didn't make it into Potions this year. Can you imagine how hard he would be on me after this summer?" Ron shuddered at the thought.

"You mean the ball incident?" Hermione asked.

"Yes," Ron said, shuddering once more.

"I thought you said it was the happiest moment of your life?" asked Harry.

"And the scariest," said Ron. "Can't forget that."

"Well, I for one am looking forward to finishing school. I can't wait to get out of there," said Draco.

Ron knew Draco was thinking of having to face his house again. Something he had barely survived last year. Knowing that his friend needed some reassurance, Ron decided to lighten up the conversation. "Aw cheer up. This year won't be too bad… as long as Harry doesn't find his way into trouble again!"

"Hey I don't find trouble. Trouble finds me," Harry protested.

"Sure, if you want to believe that."

"Thanks a lot!"

"You're welcome," said Ron with a smile. "Just trying to put things in perspective."

"Well, even if does Harry find himself in some sort of mess, at least he'll have us to help him through it," said Hermione, with a sad smile on his face. Ron and Draco both nodded as well.

"Thanks you guys," said Harry. "That means a lot."

Although they were only joking about all the "trouble" he gets into each year, they knew it was inevitable that Harry would have to face Voldemort again.

No matter what would happen this year or any of the coming years, they knew they would always have each other.

* * *

A/N: So what did you think? I'm always self conscious of sex scenes, but I felt that I owed it to the boys to finally let them take their intimacy to the next level, now that they are actually adults. Obviously, the title of this story and this chapter was taken from Linkin Park's song. I borrowed some of the themes in that song as well. I decided that it was important to end the story with Harry, Draco and Ron's point of view since these were the narrators for most of this series. The ending was also overly sappy, but I could think of another way to end this story.

I can't believe the trilogy is finally done! It has been four years in the making! I have cherished all of your lovely reviews and I only ask that you check out my other stories as well. I don't know if I will continue to write for this series or not, but I have a lot of material to work with that I couldn't find a way resolve yet in these stories. Maybe someday I will do a seventh year fic for the series… If you haven't reviewed by now or if it's been a while I would appreciate any comment you have.

For those of you who are curious…now that this fic is finished, I will be working on Shattered Illusions once again. Keep an eye out for occasional updates. I also have a few one-shots in the works.

A BIG thank you to my beta Drae. This series would have never come together without you.

**Thanks once again! Don't forget to review!**


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